1. Why you on your own?
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2. You prefer it, your own company?
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3. - Do you want a drink?
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4. I think you do.
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5. - Okay, then.
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6. I'm glad to hear things are
okay over there in Sweden
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7. and that the course is good.
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8. Everything is basically the
same here as before you left.
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9. I looked up your friend,
the photographer
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10. on Facebook, by the way.
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11. He seems interesting.
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12. Is he your boyfriend or are
you not putting labels on it?
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13. I know you like the tall,
handsome guys as you say.
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14. So, why not Lukas,
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15. who looks tall
and is also handsome?
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16. Helen has seen his photo
and agrees, but whatever.
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17. I'm not pushing
the boyfriend thing.
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18. I just hope you've confirmed
that he is not a psychopath.
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19. You don't always have
a good radar on that.
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20. Helen says hi, by the way.
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21. And let me know when
you're back for Christmas.
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22. It'd be good to see you.
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23. Marianne?
- Mm-hmm?
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24. - Oh.
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25. You looks nice.
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26. You okay?
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27. I'm gonna go grab something
to eat. You want to come?
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28. - Sure.
- Sure.
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29. Something the matter?
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30. Oh.
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31. Are you breaking up with me?
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32. - Maybe.
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33. Maybe, yeah.
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34. Okay, uh, can I do anything
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35. to stop you from
breaking up with me?
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36. Come on.
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37. Tell me, what is it?
- Look.
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38. I just... I don't think
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39. a relationship is what I want.
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40. - What do you want?
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41. I really like you.
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42. - That.
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43. I don't— I don't want that.
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44. I don't want you to say that.
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45. - Really?
- Really.
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46. I want...
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47. if anything...
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48. the opposite.
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49. Of that.
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50. Yeah.
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51. That would be better.
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52. - We're a bunch of, um...
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53. scientists and pragmatists,
you know what I mean?
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54. - Yeah.
- It's nice to have somebody with
a little bit of creativity.
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55. - Thanks, Dad.
No, I didn't—
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56. no, I mean, in a good way.
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57. Yeah, that was nice.
Yeah?
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58. They really liked you.
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59. They never really
got on with Rory.
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60. - Right.
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61. - Don't know why.
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62. Maybe he was a bit full of it.
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63. - He was probably a gobshite.
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64. - Did your mom like Marianne?
- Of course.
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65. Lorraine likes everybody.
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66. I think she felt
a bit sorry for her.
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67. - Sorry for Marianne?
About what?
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68. - I want to have a shower.
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69. - We're not done here.
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70. Don't ask that,
don't ask me for stuff.
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71. Don't move.
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72. I'll tell you when it's over
and you can have a shower.
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73. You're worthless.
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74. You're nothing.
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75. I feel so
not myself at the moment.
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76. Not in a bad way.
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77. I just feel outside
of my own life somehow.
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78. Sometimes, someone will
make eye contact with me
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79. like a bus conductor or
a person looking for change.
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80. And I'll feel shocked that
anyone can actually see me.
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81. And there's something
comforting about it.
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82. Something good about
feeling sort of numb.
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83. Detached from it all.
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84. Does that make sense?
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85. - Thank you for bringing us
to the fucking
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86. most depressing
Christmas party ever.
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87. Look at the roof.
Look at that roof.
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88. It's the most, single-handedly
the most depressing place—
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89. I'm having a great time.
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90. - All right.
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91. Yeah, four lagers, please.
Thanks.
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92. - Connell Waldron.
- All right, Peggy.
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93. Jesus Christ,
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94. haven't seen you
in such a long time.
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95. How's Marianne getting on?
I heard she's up to
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96. some interesting stuff
over in Sweden.
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97. I'm so fuckin' jealous.
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98. Jamie was saying she was
into some weird stuff.
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99. Like, bondage and shit.
Was that you?
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100. Did you like, kick her off
on all that stuff?
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101. - Fuck off, Peggy.
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102. - I'm just talking about stuff
I've heard here...
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103. - Yeah, and I don't want
to hear about it, thanks.
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104. - You all right?
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105. What's up?
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106. - It's just Peggy.
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107. Saying shit about Marianne.
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108. - Oh.
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109. Saying what?
- Oh, just shit.
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110. What?
- She just...
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111. seems to be a person
that people like to talk about.
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112. - Right.
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113. - And... I don't know that she...
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114. necessarily has
a problem with that.
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115. - Uh, what do you mean?
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116. - I mean, she sort of fucking
invites it, Connell.
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117. Enjoys it.
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118. Why are you so bothered?
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119. Well, I'm gonna go in.
I'm cold.
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120. From your emails,
it doesn't sound like
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121. you're completely
happy in Sweden.
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122. Maybe I'm wrong.
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123. I think I know the feeling of
being detached from the world,
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124. although I haven't
felt that way lately.
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125. Not to put pressure
on you at all,
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126. because it's obviously
your decision.
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127. But I'm sad to hear you're not
coming home for Christmas.
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128. Thinking it over,
I don't think I've ever gone
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129. a whole year of my life without
seeing you before.
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130. At least not since
we were 11 or 12.
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131. Anyway, that's just my way
of saying I miss you.
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132. And I'm looking forward
to seeing you,
whenever that will be.
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133. Will you send a message to let
me know how you're getting on?
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134. Or we could even talk
on the phone if you want.
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135. I hope things are okay.
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136. It just doesn't make any sense
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137. to come back for such
a short amount of time.
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138. Hello?
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139. I heard you.
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140. - I have a lot of work on.
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141. It's Christmas.
- Yeah.
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142. I'm aware.
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143. So you'll stay in Sweden
on Christmas Day?
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144. - I don't know.
I'll work or something.
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145. And we'll see you when exactly?
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146. - I don't know.
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147. Right.
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148. Well, I better not keep you.
You sound very busy.
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149. - Bye.
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150. I've been thinking a lot
about the summer.
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151. And about Jamie and Peggy.
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152. I'm trying to figure out
if I ever really thought
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153. that that was friendship.
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154. That it was real.
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155. Or if I just
liked the feeling of it.
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156. The pretense of it.
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157. You must be getting
ready to go home.
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158. When I think of Christmastime,
now, I think of Carricklea.
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159. I imagine a Christmas tree
in your front room.
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160. Covered in tinsel.
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161. I can't picture
my house at all.
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162. I miss you.
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163. - I'm gonna take your photo.
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164. - What do you mean?
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165. - I have an idea.
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166. - When?
- Tomorrow.
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167. - Okay.
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168. - Come in the shower.
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169. Come.
Come closer to the water.
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170. What you been up to?
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171. - JOANNA
I am on part seven,
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172. um, of this documentary about
the American civil war.
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173. - Jesus.
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174. - I've got lots of knowledge
about American
Civil War Generals
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175. that I can't wait
to share with you.
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176. So what about you?
How's Lukas?
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177. How's it going?
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178. Yeah, okay.
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179. Do you like him?
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180. It's not that sort of thing.
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181. He's fine.
I mean, I don't really feel...
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182. Okay.
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183. - Hey.
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184. - Hi.
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185. - Nearly done.
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186. - Okay.
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187. - I still don't know
with the light yet.
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188. Maybe we can do, like...
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189. first one...
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190. like this,
and then another one.
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191. And we'll see.
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192. - Okay.
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193. Do you want me to...
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194. - Sure, just the jumper for now.
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195. Untie your hair.
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196. Maybe take this off now.
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197. - Can we not do this now?
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198. This is what you wanted.
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199. Good.
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200. It's been a while since
I've heard from you.
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201. Is everything all right?
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202. I wonder if I said something
stupid in my last email.
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203. And I hope not,
but I'm sorry if I did.
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204. I know you told me
the reason you're not
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205. coming home at Christmas
has to do with your family,
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206. and maybe I shouldn't
have brushed over that.
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207. - Good.
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208. I'm sorry to bring this up
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209. because I know we both
feel awkward about it,
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210. but I haven't
forgotten the things
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211. you told me
when we were in Italy,
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212. and I hope you know that none
of those things are your fault,
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213. and there is
nothing wrong with you.
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214. Open your eyes.
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215. - I'm tired.
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216. - Open your fucking eyes.
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217. You are a good person,
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218. and I say that as someone
who really knows you.
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219. I know I reacted very stupidly
that night and to be honest,
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220. I'm lucky that
we're still friends
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221. because it was such
an idiotic thing to do.
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222. Just because people
treat you badly at times,
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223. and I include myself in that,
by the way,
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224. it doesn't mean you deserve
to be treated badly.
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225. A lot of people love you
and care about you.
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226. I hope you know that.
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227. No.
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228. Don't make this
hard on yourself.
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229. - I don't want to do this.
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230. No.
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