Norm Macdonald Live 3x2

1. - Tonight, the full hour devoted to Bill Hader.

2. Writer, comic, impressionist, actor,

3. now has a program on HBO.

4. But before that, me and my trusty sidekick Adam Eget

5. will proceed with our opening remarks.

6. I'm still getting my footing here, interviewing people,

7. because we were off a long time.

8. - A long time.

9. - Two years, that's ridiculous.

10. - Quite a sabbatical.

11. - We should never take two years off again.

12. - No.

13. - So we have to keep finding our footing,

14. just when we have our footing we lose our footing.

15. - And it seems like the more time

16. that we spend in between seasons,

17. it's even harder to get back on that bike.

18. - So we're back in our real life,

19. and I see you at The Comedy Store,

20. I go there to do sets, and I gotta tell you,

21. I feel like you've been down lately.

22. That's a tough job.

23. - It's a tough job, just in it's essence,

24. in addition to all the day-to-day mundane bullshit

25. that you have to deal with on top of that,

26. to also have people disrespecting you constantly.

27. - They disrespect you.

28. - Yeah.

29. - Well, it may be that you don't have

30. a lot of formal education.

31. You dropped out of school in, what was it?

32. - Very young.

33. - Forth grade?

34. - I think it was about forth of fifth grade.

35. - So that might be part of it.

36. - Yeah, and so I've actually thought about this

37. and what I've been doing, very recently is,

38. every day I find a new word.

39. - A new word everyday?

40. - A new word everyday, and I incorporate it

41. in to my every day vocabulary.

42. - So if I asked you today what your new word is

43. you would be able to tell me.

44. - Absolutely, today's word for me was erudite,

45. it's learned in arcane subjects and widely read.

46. Erudite.

47. - I'm familiar with that word.

48. Do you know sesquipedality?

49. Sesquipedality, the use of long words,

50. sometimes applied as a derogative

51. to connote pretentious and overbearing posturing.

52. Sesquipedality.

53. - That's a good one, what about this one,

54. reprecusative, let me tell you what it is.

55. It's a bitter, ignorant person who,

56. entirely unaware sees his own faults

57. projected on to the behavior of others.

58. Reprecusative.

59. - Hazardling.

60. A lowly sniveler who risks his position

61. by making clumsy innuendos about

62. a great and virtuous person,

63. who is clearly his or her better.

64. Hazardling.

65. - Bomquacious, adjective.

66. In the manner of a desperate coward

67. whose last resort is to make veiled threats

68. to someone he envies and probably fears,

69. because they're younger and way more sexually potent.

70. Bomquacious.

71. - Dimatoid.

72. A feeble-minded asshole who is a failure at everything,

73. but he deludes himself in to thinking

74. he has one small talent.

75. Which he doesn't even have!

76. Dimatoid.

77. - Canuckodile.

78. - Canuckodile?

79. Yeah it's a migratory Canadian rodent.

80. - Canadian?

81. - Often found rummaging in the dumpsters around Hollywood

82. for toxic scraps to stuff in his leering, hideous face.

83. Canuckodile, that's you.

84. - Coprogustiac, a noun.

85. Vulgar, a half-recovered drunk comedy club manager

86. who subsists entirely on the foul-smelling sweepings

87. from the fetid floor of animal cages.

88. And, who is a hair's breath away

89. from a brutal beating with a Louisville Slugger.

90. Coprogustiac.

91. - No Norm I haven't heard that one.

92. That's a good, it's a good word.

93. It's a great word.

94. - When we return, Bill Hader.

95. Tonight, the full hour devoted to Bill Hader,

96. I'm told he's a deeply funny man, and he'll be with us.

97. He's a writer, he's an actor,

98. he's an impressionist, he's a producer, everything.

99. And you probably know him from Saturday Night Live,

100. 'cause once you've done Saturday Night Live,

101. then that's gonna be - That's it.

102. - On your obituary.

103. Everything else is borrowed time.

104. - Yeah.

105. - But Bill Hader is with us.

106. We have a studio audience for the first time.

107. - Oh this is the first time you're doing this?

108. - Yeah, it's like when Tom Snyder and Rona Barrett

109. did a show together.

110. They put in 12 people.

111. But my trusty sidekick Adam Eget is here as always,

112. he is the gatekeeper of who becomes stars,

113. because he chooses whoever goes up

114. on the world famous Comedy Store stage.

115. - Oh really?

116. So you're constantly bumping people

117. for Judd Apatow to do a long set?

118. - That's the perfect example.

119. Did Mulaney talk to you?

120. I'm sure this is directly from Mulaney.

121. - You're constantly having to be like

122. "Judd wants to do a set."

123. - He's polite about it.

124. - Yeah he's very polite about it,

125. I've been there when he's had to bump people.

126. - There is a funny thing about people that are rich,

127. 'cause I remember Bill Murray said

128. if you have the choice between rich and famous, and rich,

129. just take rich, y'know 'cause he doesn't like the fame.

130. But there's a lot of guys I know

131. that are very rich, but they wanna be famous.

132. I knew a guy that developed The Simpsons,

133. Sam Simon, and he hired Matt Labove, where's Matt?

134. He hired a guy, right, so a guy generally costs

135. 10,000, 20,000 tops, he paid the guy $50,000

136. and said "Just make me famous."

137. They can't make you famous, they can just

138. hang around and go to parties.

139. Matt Labove, who was my guy,

140. he was like, I did the ESPYs, and everyone hated my guts,

141. and afterwards I said "hey where's the party?"

142. And the guy goes "I don't think you should go."

143. And Matt Labove goes, can I go still?

144. I'm like yeah I guess.

145. Tell me about it tomorrow.

146. But listen man, this is not,

147. this show is not about Adam Eget,

148. it's about Bill Hader.

149. - Thank you.

150. - Yeah Absolutely.

151. - And I think you guys were talking earlier

152. about documentaries, along with the genius Fred Armisen,

153. Bill has made, sorry.

154. - That's a strong choice.

155. - Bill have made a bunch of faux documentaries

156. that are fantastically funny,

157. so is that why you were talking about it?

158. - Yeah we were talking about that, and the band,

159. I love that Goddamn band.

160. I went to go see Sleater-Kinney at The Palladium,

161. I think it was Sleater-Kinney that you were opening for.

162. - Oh yeah, I think Fred opened for, yeah.

163. - But I saw the Behind the Music parody,

164. it was fantastic.

165. - Yeah, Blue Jean Committee.

166. - It must be so fun for you.

167. - Yeah, yeah it's a blast.

168. And it's also just the attention to detail

169. those guys do on those, it's kinda nice,

170. so much of it is kinda like, oh real quick,

171. and disposable or whatever, and these guys,

172. Rhys and Alex who direct them are really crazy.

173. - Like SNL you mean, where it has to be messy.

174. - Well they do the SNL thing but like,

175. on SNL it was like super messy.

176. And you would like close a door and

177. you would watch the wall shake.

178. - Although if they did a film,

179. they just dumped money in to it.

180. It was amazing.

181. - I know, you would show up on those sets

182. and you would have a dumb idea,

183. like on Tuesday night with your friend and go,

184. "What if we did a thing in outer space?"

185. And then the next night there you are.

186. - It's like Kubrick style.

187. - Yeah there's some huge thing and I'm like,

188. "Oh my God I feel so."

189. - And it's not very good and the guy's hammering.

190. - I know and you're like,

191. "This thing's dumb, it's a dumb idea guys."

192. I remember I did Vincent Price on SNL,

193. and before we did it Lorne was like,

194. "This is the most expensive set we've ever had."

195. - Oh wow, it did look amazing, that set.

196. - He goes, "I like Vincent Price, but why now."

197. - Vincent Price when I was on the show...

198. - Oh yeah Mark McKinney.

199. - No, no, uh

200. - Michael - Mike McKean, that's right.

201. And he did a perfect Vincent Price,

202. but it wasn't as funny as yours.

203. That's an interesting thing about impressions,

204. Tom Snyder was portrayed by Dan Aykroyd,

205. but then later Harry Shearer portrayed him,

206. and Harry Shearer is like dead perfect, but not funny.

207. - Yeah it was hard, I would get that sometimes.

208. I learned that, had that learning curve,

209. where I would get someone perfect, and then

210. you were very rigid while you're playing them

211. because it's like balancing a bunch of plates,

212. where you're thinking well his eyes are like this

213. and he kind of holds himself like this or whatever.

214. Jim Downey actually was the one who was like,

215. "Loosen up man, make it stupid."

216. Like, it's a skewed version of that person.

217. - Yeah like the most skewed I ever saw

218. was Dana Carvey doing Robin Leach

219. and he'd just go "I'm talking loud and I don't know why."

220. He'd say it like 10 times.

221. What I also was amazed that Dana,

222. that he could do George Bush, 'cause I remember

223. when George Bush became president, I was like

224. well nobody can do him.

225. - Yeah, not gonna do it.

226. Remember when he did Mickey Rooney?

227. "Bang, I was the biggest star in the world, the world."

228. I remember Jim Downey explained to me the handles,

229. that was what he said, you can

230. find the handles on an impression.

231. That was the thing, and you would just

232. do that over and over again.

233. - Tell the folks at home who Jim Downey is.

234. - Oh, he's the late writer, no.

235. Jim was a writer on SNL back, like at the beginning,

236. and he's, I think within the people there

237. he's kind of the almighty God of writers there.

238. Great guy, and he wrote with you on update.

239. Which is I think the best stretch in Update history.

240. - You know what I like about Jim,

241. and I like this about you too, is that you laugh a lot.

242. And I find some people don't laugh,

243. like I remember guys who would go through,

244. I won't say who they are,

245. but they go through the sketch,

246. "Okay okay that'll work that'll work."

247. I'm like, you're not laughing, you don't think it's funny?

248. It must be a power play or something.

249. - Yeah sometimes I would see that,

250. sometimes I'd realize it was like,

251. I said it to someone once, I was like,

252. "You never laugh at anything,"

253. kind of just like oh, and then

254. they started laughing at stuff,

255. and then I was like well now I don't know.

256. Are you just trying to make me feel better?

257. - That was one of the things that I love so much,

258. is that Mulaney would, I heard that Mulaney

259. would write all the stuff for Stefon.

260. - Tell the folks who Mulaney is.

261. - John Mulaney.

262. - People at home. - The Comeback Kid.

263. - Yeah John Muaney, The Comeback Kid.

264. - The Comeback Kid, it was like six months later,

265. he's like, "I'm back."

266. - He's a brilliant stand-up comedian

267. and he wrote on SNL, I know with you.

268. - Yeah we created the character Stefon.

269. - So I read that you would not read it until you went out?

270. - Well I did read stuff when we would write it,

271. and then what he would do, is because

272. I do laugh a lot but I am a soft touch

273. when something is just like a little different,

274. do you know what I mean?

275. It's not like a huge difference,

276. but if just one word is different, that would make me laugh,

277. And it such a personal thing 'cause I'm like,

278. John just finds that funny, so like

279. he changed, I remember a guy's name was,

280. it was a two-year-old Ultimate Fighter,

281. Drooly Lips Jackson, he's got fists like empanadas

282. and he's addicted to ecstasy, that was what we wrote.

283. So I was expecting that.

284. And he was so smart that he always put

285. the thing I hadn't seen on the next card,

286. so it'd flip over and there'd be a new thing there.

287. So it would be like two-year-old Ultimate Fighter

288. Drooly Lips Jackson, he's got fists like empanadas,

289. card transit, and he's my best friend.

290. So I'm going, "He's my best friend,"

291. and then it was this slow burn, like, it's so dumb.

292. And I would start laughing.

293. - That's really smart, he goes the other way.

294. - Yeah, usually when it's too big of a thing

295. it wouldn't make me laugh, sometimes

296. you put a new joke in there and

297. you're kind of more in your head, like,

298. wait I gotta deliver this right,

299. and I'm more like, wait what the hell's this,

300. but when it was just like, the rhythm didn't break,

301. it was just like "bu duh duh duh," aw fuck.

302. - How did you become on Saturday Night Live

303. an impressionist?

304. I don't know your history.

305. You were not a stand up.

306. - Now I wasn't a stand up and

307. I didn't really do impressions of famous people

308. until I got, I had to do my audition.

309. I just did impressions of, like friends and stuff.

310. - But when you were a kid did you do

311. guys like Rich Little did?

312. - Nah I would do, like Dana's stuff.

313. We were huge fans of your Burt Reynolds impression.

314. Anytime we were chewing gum we'd go,

315. "Well what kinda cards you got?"

316. - So you could do impressions

317. of other people doing impressions.

318. - Yeah, yeah that was it.

319. And then I got, I was in this sketch group,

320. and Megan Mullally saw me in the sketch group,

321. and recommended me to Loren,

322. and then I had to have my SNL audition,

323. and they were like you need three impressions

324. and three characters and I was like oh shit,

325. I gotta come up with some stuff.

326. - Who were your impressions then?

327. - I did, my audition was

328. the character Vinny Vedecci, the Italian guy,

329. it was him doing impressions, so he did

330. Al Pachino interviewing a maid,

331. which I don't remember how.

332. - So the idea was he couldn't do the impressions that well?

333. - No he would do 'em well, the weird thing

334. was that this guy who can barely speak English

335. could then go in to an impression real serious,

336. and then go back in to being this guy.

337. And I remember the morning of my audition they called me,

338. and they said, so you need to do, to throw you off base,

339. to see what you're made of, they're like

340. so you have to do a political impression

341. and it can't be George Bush,

342. and I found that out like an hour before my audition.

343. And I was like.

344. And I went on C-SPAN and just watched,

345. and then Tony Blair was on C-SPAN

346. and I just watched him and then figured something out,

347. and then was freaking out.

348. And I remember getting in the elevator

349. and there was a guy next to me with tons of props,

350. and I brought no props, and I was just like fuck,

351. I didn't think to bring props to the audition?

352. - Oh yeah a lot of people do that.

353. - He had so many wigs and props,

354. and that was Andy Samberg, that was when I met Andy.

355. And Andy said he was looking at me and was like,

356. fuck that guy doesn't need props.

357. He's like, I'm so lame I have all these props.

358. He literally looked like he was

359. running away from home in an old '30s movie.

360. - With a bindle on his shoulder.

361. But you don't think of Andy as a guy that would use props.

362. - Yeah he had a bunch, but his audition was really funny.

363. Oh my God it was funny.

364. He did a funny impression of Billy Bob Thornton

365. trying to sell Kangols, he always wore a Kangol hat.

366. Oh my God it was funny, he put these fake teeth in,

367. he was like, "Kangols."

368. I just remember, we were all kind of back

369. and I was like ah fuck, we're fucked.

370. - Oh because this is your competition.

371. - Yeah well we were just like, wow that was really funny.

372. We could hear him through the,

373. we couldn't see him but we could hear the auditions.

374. - I remember there was an audition,

375. it was Stephen Colbert and Tracy Morgan,

376. and so Stephen Colbert did like,

377. y'know in a suit and he had like a,

378. so professional, he goes "Now, Geraldo Rivera,"

379. and he'd put a moustache and do it,

380. and everything was funny and well written,

381. and then it was Tracy's turn, and his entire thing,

382. was he played a character named Biscuit,

383. who was a child sitting on a stoop,

384. and he had a beanie, y'know from the 1930s.

385. He was like "My name Biscuit."

386. And then I laughed.

387. Then that night we're at dinner with Lorne,

388. y'know you have that dinner and he's like,

389. what do you guys think?

390. And I'm like well obviously it's Colbert.

391. And everybody else was like, what about Biscuit?

392. But then he succeeded, for a long time

393. he didn't succeed and then he blew up.

394. - When you had to sit in the audition,

395. did they tell you not to laugh?

396. - Yeah, I didn't do an audition.

397. - No when you sat and watched people auditioning,

398. were they ever like—

399. - They never let me do that.

400. I sat and watched from the Donahue Studio.

401. Was the Donahue Studio there when you were there?

402. - No now it's Seth's show I think.

403. - Oh yes.

404. Y'know I wrote this book, it's called

405. 'Based On A True Story: A Memoir.'

406. - Oh wow!

407. Tell me about it.

408. - But in it I realize that they said send some pictures,

409. and I had no pictures and I was like

410. what was I, an idiot?

411. Y'know I'm at Saturday Night Live

412. I could have taken pictures of big stars every week,

413. or guys that were gonna become big stars,

414. but you never understood that I don't think,

415. I didn't when I was at SNL.

416. I thought that was the end for everybody.

417. I didn't think they'd go on to become bigger stars.

418. Buy yeah I had no pictures

419. so I have pictures of my mother.

420. Do you have lots of pictures?

421. - No, I did the same thing when I first got SNL,

422. my wife was like, "You should start a diary,

423. "it'll be like an amazing thing, and then you can sell it."

424. I did none of that, and I have no,

425. I have nothing from that time.

426. Well actually I take that back,

427. when I finished, my wife went to Mary Ellen,

428. the photographer and she said,

429. it was very sweet, my gift for finishing the show,

430. from my wife, was all these rare

431. behind the scenes photos from the whole time I was there,

432. with little testimonials from everybody.

433. It was very sweet, it was really cool.

434. - 'Cause now I'm trying to get a hold of Mary Ellen

435. for that 40th anniversary, 'cause she was taking pictures.

436. - I know, she got so many cool pictures of things.

437. - I did a stupid thing, Paul McCartney's there,

438. so I have my kid, I was just getting pictures with some,

439. I don't take pictures with people but I want my kid to.

440. And Paul McCartney's the nicest guy,

441. so I have my little iPhone, and

442. he stands beside Paul McCartney,

443. and I go to take the picture and this other guy goes,

444. "Why don't you let Paul's photographer take it?"

445. And he has a big, giant two-foot lens,

446. and I go oh that'll look way cooler,

447. and so he takes it and then they leave,

448. and then a guy goes, "Good luck ever getting that picture."

449. And I was like, of course, why would I get that?

450. - How would I call him and be like,

451. "Norm I've got this picture for you.

452. "I've been looking for you forever Norm!"

453. Ding dong.

454. "Norm!

455. "This is you and your kid, right?

456. "Alright see ya'!"

457. Helicopter.

458. Yeah he's always at SNL, and that was weird

459. when you would get used to those,

460. Paul McCartney just being around

461. and you'd just be like, "Hey man."

462. And he's like, "Hey Bill how's it going?"

463. You're like, "Hold on."

464. "Yeah?"

465. - That's true, especially with him for some reason.

466. He's an enormously dull person, and you end up.

467. - He's like human Prozac, he just like,

468. "So what's going on with you, what's happening, what's up?"

469. Like so nice and sweet and you're like,

470. and you would do a sketch and get done,

471. I remember I did a sketch where I did a British accent,

472. and when I got off he was like,

473. "That accent was perfect, you did such a good job."

474. Like he was so fricken' nice.

475. - And then you see some amazing band,

476. I mean some, I'm sorry, some God awful band,

477. and then you see behind, Paul McCartney with one of those.

478. Whatever those are called.

479. - Shaker things.

480. - Shaker thing?

481. You know the name for those?

482. - Maraca?

483. Oh a tambourine?

484. - When we come back, we talk about South Park in a moment.

485. Maraca.

486. - Maraca.

487. - The fuck is that?

488. - Now you have a new nickname.

489. - That was awful, we are back

490. with my trusty sidekick Adam Eget,

491. we had a good time during the break.

492. - Adam told us a lot of secrets.

493. - And Mr. Hader is like CNN, he's never off.

494. - Yeah, I'm on all the time.

495. - So, what we were gonna talk about is,

496. do you remember when I met you in Boston one time,

497. it was a long time ago and you were with Trey and Matt?

498. - Yeah, yeah.

499. - And it was odd because he was with Trey and Matt,

500. just hanging out, and I said what are you doing,

501. and he says I write for South Park.

502. Now this is after he was an established star on SNL.

503. Did you know that?

504. - Yeah I knew about South Park, I mean

505. I'm a huge fan of South Park.

506. - So then I thought, oh you wrote for it before,

507. and you just kept on, but that's not true.

508. - No I started after I was on SNL,

509. it was more like a, SNL y'know you just write sketches

510. and so I wanted, I like how those guys,

511. one, I think it's the funniest show on TV,

512. but I also think they're so good at structure

513. and things like that and I was trying to write movies,

514. so I wanted to learn about that.

515. - Oh so you did it as a learning experience.

516. - Yes, and I hung out with Matt Stone,

517. we were just friends, and he was like,

518. "Oh do you wanna come on these retreats we have,"

519. and then I hung out in the room a little,

520. but it's really those guys, if you watch

521. that documentary Six Days to Air, I'm just

522. sitting there laughing the whole time.

523. - Wait what's that?

524. - It's a documentary about the making of South Park.

525. - A real one?

526. - Yeah a documentary about it,

527. and if you watch it, I just sit there and laugh.

528. That's all I do.

529. - Yeah it's so much funnier than any other animated show,

530. but seems under appreciated.

531. - In some ways.

532. - And also, it's topical because they can do it so fast.

533. - Yeah those guys are just, I'm always impressed with them,

534. is that they still, after, I mean they're

535. going in to their 20th season,

536. it's like 20 years of South Park,

537. and it's so crazy that they still act like each episode,

538. like their whole reputation stands on every episode.

539. They're never phoning it in, and it really is

540. just those two guys, and this guy Vernon Chatman,

541. and it's just them trying to make it work,

542. and I've been there, like in that documentary,

543. you work on an episode and you're like,

544. this is great, we're good.

545. And then you come in Monday and

546. it's due Tuesday night basically,

547. and you go in Monday and Trey is like,

548. "Oh we through the whole episode out,

549. "I'm really unhappy with it, it's not working."

550. You're like woah, it's just his, he's just

551. trying to set the bar high for himself,

552. and it's just a really good.

553. - Because you look at other shows,

554. I don't know The Simpsons that well,

555. but they'll go, y'know it was great,

556. but then there was that 11 year stretch

557. where it was not so good.

558. - Well yeah you just feel like it sometimes,

559. I don't know if it was Matt or Trey,

560. someone says "We never want this to feel like a lifestyle."

561. Y'know what I mean, it's like we're creating a thing,

562. we never wanted to relax and be like, well y'know

563. we have our show, we do this, we do other stuff.

564. It's like, no, it's just super focused.

565. - Oh and their movies were amazing

566. - Oh yeah, and Book of Mormon.

567. - Did you work on those?

568. - No, no no.

569. Book of Mormon was so good.

570. - Oh I forgot about, The Book of Mormon was amazing.

571. And they just learned from scratch how to write a musical?

572. - Well their first, I think Cannibal

573. was probably the first thing they did.

574. - Their first movie, yeah Trey is like musically trained

575. and he fully understands all this stuff,

576. but they were also teamed up with,

577. oh my gosh I'm blanking on his name,

578. the guy who wrote Avenue Q and then wrote Frozen.

579. What's his name?

580. - Marc Shaiman.

581. - Not Marc Shaiman.

582. He wrote Avenue Q and Frozen, and

583. I'm totally blanking on his name.

584. It's a couple.

585. - There's two of 'em?

586. - Yeah.

587. - Not Gilbert and Sullivan.

588. Not the old ones.

589. - The old Frozen.

590. - So you wanted to learn, so do you get

591. most creative fulfillment out of writing?

592. - I get, I do, I like writing.

593. I do like performing a lot though too.

594. I wanna do both things but there is something.

595. It was like SNL was the first thing I ever did,

596. I didn't do stand-up or anything before that,

597. but just like in this, being paid to create stuff

598. it was SNL so it was just like, okay so I got that,

599. what's another cool thing to do.

600. I did a similar thing at Pixar

601. where I went to Pixar and just hung out and helped

602. on Inside Out, I wasn't an actor in that,

603. it was almost like an afterthought,

604. I was kind of helping with the writing.

605. - So you just go places and ask them if you can work.

606. - Yeah I'm like, "You know me, I'm Stefon.

607. "Can I come hang out here for a week?"

608. Just to figure out how they do it.

609. - 'Cause how else would you learn?

610. - Yeah, 'cause I wrote, well I think the other thing

611. was that I wrote a bunch of stuff that was bad.

612. You write a bunch of scripts and stuff

613. and you show it to people and they go,

614. "No, we'll see what's in development someplace else."

615. So I was like, well I gotta learn how to do this.

616. That was the South Park thing, they were great.

617. - I remember they said David Geffen, when he started,

618. he would meet with a different guy

619. every single day in Hollywood.

620. And so it doesn't take you long to meet everyone.

621. There's not that many people.

622. You may have been on the television series

623. when the writers were the strongest

624. that they ever were on that show.

625. And the youngest and strongest,

626. you had Mulaney and you had Simon Rich.

627. - Simon Rich was unreal.

628. Simon Rich came in and I remember,

629. I wrote with him as well, and he was so good at,

630. the sketches would get really long

631. and he was a master at super short conceptual sketches,

632. that it was like the first time ever where,

633. between dress and air, we're like we have to

634. add time to a sketch, which never happened.

635. But Simon, Marika Sawyer, Kent Sublette,

636. James Anderson, I mean it goes on and on.

637. - America?

638. - Marika, she was great.

639. They were unreal writers.

640. - Yeah those are incredible.

641. - And Jim was there, and Colin Jost.

642. - Jim, y'know when I left, Jim was

643. kind of badly treated by some people.

644. See when I went there, it was Franken,

645. Smigel, Downey, Tom Davis.

646. It was guys that started the show,

647. so everybody was like oh my God,

648. like, bow down to these guys, y'know?

649. But then there was a change made

650. and all the guys from Chicago came

651. and Adam McKay and Will and, y'know very talented guys,

652. but they had no respect for Jim.

653. It might have just been a power thing

654. because Jim was no longer head writer but

655. they weren't going to, I never understand that

656. because, you know what I mean?

657. You can't learn from somebody that's,

658. I remember when I first started doing stand-up

659. and there was a guy doing like me,

660. he was copying me, and I said, "Well don't steal from me,

661. "I've only been doing it like six months."

662. Steal from like a master comedian.

663. So yeah, so Jim had problems with Bruce back then.

664. He's such a sweet, sweet guy, y'know.

665. - Yeah he's so funny, and he wrote,

666. I remember I had to play Eliot Spitzer in a thing

667. when that whole thing happened,

668. and I had never done a cold open before,

669. and I came in and Seth was like,

670. "You're gonna be Eliot Spitzer in the cold open this week,

671. "and it's just gonna be you, and Downey is writing it."

672. - I just have to tell the folks at home, Eliot Spitzer.

673. - Oh Eliot Spitzer, yeah yeah.

674. - Oh do you want to tell the folks at home?

675. - He was the governor of New York

676. who frequented prostitutes.

677. - New Jersey, right?

678. - No it was in New York?

679. New York, he frequented prostitutes,

680. and he's client number nine, and I had to,

681. and he like resigned, so I had to go up,

682. I had to learn an Eliot Spitzer impression,

683. and I had to go up, and he was like,

684. "Also Downey's writing it,"

685. which mean's it's gonna be, like, long.

686. And I was so nervous, I felt new but

687. it was probably like my third season or something,

688. and I had that, I'm sure you had those

689. long phone calls with Jim, and you have these

690. long phone calls with Jim where you'd walk through

691. every nuance of every line,

692. and I put all this pressure on myself,

693. and then I did it just to his specifications,

694. and it was, like, fucking killed, it was so good.

695. And then after that I was like,

696. when new people come in and are like "Ah, Jim Downey,"

697. I'm like just listen to him, just do what he says

698. because the guy knows what he's doing.

699. He would say "You turn this word here, this word here"

700. and you would do it, and he would be

701. underneath the monitor pacing back and forth, kind of like,

702. and saying it to himself as he's doing it.

703. It made me feel, that was the first time I ever said,

704. "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night,"

705. and then was when I felt fully anointed,

706. like I did a Jim Downey cold open.

707. - Well Jim always phones me and he,

708. I remember he had enormous affection for you personally,

709. of all the people on the show.

710. - That means a lot, he was.

711. Yeah he made me laugh.

712. He wrote Stefon jokes for us, that we used.

713. He like submitted Stefon, he loved that character.

714. And one of the ones, I think, that he put,

715. was guys with Afros with tiny graduation caps, was a thing.

716. So Jim would have, he'd write it on pencil

717. in cursive on a little card, and he'd be like,

718. "Here's some jokes I have for you."

719. And we'd look at it and John and I read that,

720. and we're like well that's going in.

721. And one of them was like National Spelling Bee winner,

722. all that's Jim Downey, and he's like,

723. "I had 'em in my head and I just wrote 'em out for you."

724. He was so sweet, and we used to live

725. in the same neighborhood as Jim,

726. and one time he called me and he said,

727. "Bill come down, I'm at the Half King, come over."

728. It's his bar.

729. "Come over and watch a baseball game with me."

730. And I was like, I don't like sports, like why would I.

731. And he's like, "Get over here!"

732. And I was like, alright fine, and I go in

733. and he was with Bill Murray,

734. and he wanted me to meet Bill Murray,

735. and he introduced me to Bill Murray, but

736. it was his way of being like, he wanted to surprise me.

737. "No no we're gonna watch a baseball game," I was like what?

738. And then there was Bill Murray, and Jim was so sweet,

739. he's like, "Y'know Bill's dad's from Chicago."

740. Just trying to start, I was like

741. you don't need to do that man,

742. we can just watch the game, don't do that.

743. - How do you act in front of Bill Murray?

744. - I was nervous, and then I remember my wife

745. came and joined us, and then Jason Sudeikis came,

746. I texted Jason like, I'm at a bar with Bill Murray

747. and it was like, he was suddenly there.

748. And then we were talking and then I remember

749. at one point Bill Murray was

750. talking about Strother Martin, the actor,

751. and how he lobbied hard to get him to host SNL.

752. - Wait, Strother Martin did host SNL.

753. - Yeah and that was, I guess Bill Murray

754. and Jim Downey and all these guys are like,

755. "We love Strother Martin, he should host SNL."

756. - Do you know Strother Martin?

757. - No I don't know Strother Martin.

758. - He was the, he was in Paul Newman movies.

759. - Cool Hand Luke, where he's like,

760. "What we got here is failure to—"

761. - Oh alright.

762. - But he's amazing, really funny,

763. and at one point I remember I said,

764. "Oh Strother Martin did he have chops?"

765. And I just remember Sudeikis looking at me like.

766. I was like, I know, I've never

767. said that before in my life, I'm so nervous right now.

768. I wanna like, connect to Bill Murray,

769. it seems like a word he would use.

770. I just said chops, and then my wife was like,

771. we're walking back, she's like, "Did he have chops?"

772. I was like I know, I was so nervous.

773. I wanted him to like me so bad.

774. She was like yeah it was a little bit of a push,

775. you were pushing there.

776. - Yeah Bill Murray can be tough to

777. - He was super nice, he was super nice.

778. He was super cool.

779. He was really funny at the 40th too.

780. That was the thing him and Jim wrote,

781. they wrote that years ago, when I said,

782. "What are you gonna do?" And Jim was like,

783. "We wrote this," it was about Jaws,

784. because they wrote it when Jaws came out.

785. - They were sitting on a sketch.

786. I remember the 25th anniversary,

787. I think it was the 25th, maybe it was the 20th,

788. but he came out at the start and did the lounge singer,

789. and walked through the audience and I mean

790. just destroyed everybody, just was like,

791. none of you guys are funnier than me.

792. - I know, I remember when he came out

793. he was part of, like, a thing,

794. and I just remember watching him and we were all just like

795. God, how relaxed he is and the confidence he has,

796. you're just sort of like oh wow,

797. and I remember, I was watching on the monitor

798. and then I was like, why are we

799. watching this on the monitor and I ran out on the floor

800. and like ducked, like sat right next to the cards,

801. not so I was in their eyeline or anything,

802. but I just was like, I wanna just see them working.

803. That was the coolest thing, is I remember

804. being on SNL is, Will Forte would always do sketches

805. that we knew were gonna bomb.

806. We wrote this thing called Fart Face that no one liked,

807. and it was me and Josh Brolin and Will

808. and we were a bunch of businessmen

809. and we call each, "Well you're acting like

810. "a real fart face today John," and it's like,

811. "Well I don't appreciate you saying that.

812. "I'm not a fart face."

813. Y'know and it was very real,

814. and it ends with Josh Brolin killing himself in his office.

815. He starts crying and we were like,

816. "We're gonna tell everybody you just cried in our office."

817. That was a threat, and then he kills himself,

818. and his name is Jim Deever, that was his character's name,

819. and I just remember Will would do these sketches like that

820. or, I was in that one, and you would see,

821. Lorne would pick them specifically 'cause he was like,

822. "I just wanna see what the fuck happens,"

823. 'cause it died at dress or whatever,

824. and you would go like, you would see Seth and everybody

825. coming out on the floor, like, we gotta see this.

826. I wanna see this thing catch on fire from five feet away.

827. It's like watching a fireworks display,

828. it was like everybody coming out.

829. You know when they blow up a car on a movie set?

830. Like everyone's like let's see what happens,

831. y'know with drinks and shit, and we did Fart Face

832. giving it our all, and it was like watching a,

833. you could hear a pin drop,

834. it was like watching a Mamet play,

835. if someone watched it there were like no laughs.

836. - How great is Josh Brolin?

837. - Oh he was amazing.

838. - I'd love to meet that guy.

839. - Such a good guy.

840. Before we went out, Josh Brolin looked up at the audience

841. and he went, "Well fellas, let's shut these fuckers up."

842. It was like the end of The Wild Bunch

843. where he's like, "Let's go! This is gonna bomb!"

844. It was very liberating.

845. - That guy's the man, have you seen

846. that Coen Brothers movie?

847. The last one?

848. - Hail, Caesar! no I have not seen it.

849. - Well it's really badly promoted

850. 'cause it makes it look like an old movie

851. with George Clooney in it,

852. but it's not, it stars Josh Brolin,

853. and Josh Brolin has this scene with Clooney

854. where he throws him up against the wall,

855. and this guy's so manly, Josh Brolin,

856. I mean it's literally a square jaw, y'know?

857. And he's so cool looking and

858. he just makes Clooney look like a woman.

859. But boy I love Josh Brolin, y'know when I was young,

860. you're much younger than me but when I was young

861. his father was on Marcus Welby, M.D.,

862. was kind of a B actor,

863. who somehow married Barbra Streisand.

864. There was a sketch, I don't know if

865. this was Will Forte's sketch, but it sort of

866. reminded me of his sense of humor from what I know of him,

867. but I thought it was a classic that should be on forever,

868. and they should just show it all the time,

869. which was the spelling bee.

870. - Oh it's unreal, unreal.

871. - God, I laughed like a million...

872. - That made me laugh, you know who's great in that sketch?

873. Is Chris Parnell.

874. Chris Parnell is so fantastic, 'cause he's the judge,

875. and if you guys don't remember this sketch,

876. Will Forte's a very nervous guy in a spelling bee,

877. and he has to spell business,

878. and he goes, "B-U-S-I-N-A-N-L-A-M-A-N-A-S-L,"

879. and it goes on for like five minutes.

880. At one point he just starts going "Q-Q-Q-Q-Q,"

881. like he's just spinning out, y'know?

882. Like he knows he's wrong but

883. he doesn't want to stop talking.

884. And it just cuts to Chris Parnell, and he goes, "Wrong."

885. And the way he delivered that, it was just like,

886. I was on the floor for that,

887. and the place went bananas when Chris said wrong,

888. and he waited just, his timing was perfect,

889. and the place just exploded, I was like,

890. yeah that was unreal.

891. - How do people not know that sketch?

892. - Y'know what happened, that was

893. the same show as Lazy Sunday, so that was the big,

894. I remember that, that was a hot show.

895. - Lazy Sunday?

896. Way back then?

897. - Yeah it was Christmas, 2006.

898. - So Lazy Sunday got all the...

899. But Lazy Sunday, ehhh, it was okay.

900. You know to me it reminded me of the rapping granny.

901. It wasn't the most, I mean the performing was amazing,

902. and the production values were amazing,

903. but the idea itself, underneath.

904. - Yeah, well those guys are my friends.

905. - A white guy rapping.

906. No I know, but this is not

907. your friends I'm criticizing, it's their idea.

908. No I mean I would criticize myself if I had that idea.

909. But the idea of a white guy,

910. y'know Martin Mull had a fantastic, exactly the same idea.

911. But a much funnier line, he was a blues singer,

912. a white blues singer, and he could

913. play the guitar and stuff, and he goes,

914. "I woke up this morning, and one of my cars was gone,

915. " I say I woke up this morning, and one of my cars was gone,

916. "I felt so bad deep down inside,

917. "I threw my drink across the lawn."

918. But anyways, we're gonna go to a break,

919. and then one last section with the inimitable,

920. no he's imatable.

921. - I'm pretty imatable.

922. - Imatable is good.

923. - That was a Letterman, that was a Letterman laugh.

924. - Imatable is good.

925. I don't have a laugh, do you have a good laugh?

926. - Yeah I have a real annoying laugh.

927. - If you don't have one it sounds fake.

928. I try but it comes out weird.

929. - Yeah it's, I have a real obnoxious laugh.

930. - I forgot he was here.

931. - I know, the minute you said that I was like,

932. should he be talking to the crew, did we cut?

933. I guess we cut, he's talking to the crew,

934. I guess I can go to the bathroom.

935. - Back in a moment with Bill Hader.

936. Back with Bill Hader and my trusty sidekick Adam Eget.

937. And I know Adam Eget had a very important question

938. that he wanted to ask Bill Hader.

939. - Oh I was gonna ask Bill, I think I already asked it.

940. It was the thing about the Documentary Now! and the band.

941. - This is smooth sailing.

942. - Well we were discussing Book of Mormon in the break.

943. - That's a good segue.

944. - It was just a statement, we were just discussing

945. Book of Mormon, and then I got lost.

946. - I was unhappy I missed it, I did go see Spamalot,

947. I'm sure you loved Monty Python as a child

948. - Oh yeah growing up, loved Monty Python.

949. - Me too, so I go to Spamalot and about 10 minutes in

950. I realize, oh these aren't Monty Python guys,

951. they're just dudes.

952. They were like the guys in high school

953. that did Monty Python, that you just hated.

954. So I left, I just walked out.

955. - I know those guys, the guys who would

956. come up to you and be like, "We are the nights who say Ni,"

957. and you're like no, no, don't do that.

958. - Y'know who's still funny is Cleese.

959. Hysterically funny.

960. Eric Idle not so much, but boy, Cleese.

961. - I remember Lorne introduced me to Michael Palin once

962. and it was like the Bill Murray experience,

963. where I'm like.. everything I do is just,

964. like I saw you, like what do you say?

965. And I was just like, "Hi."

966. - They did a sketch when I was on, Cleese and Palin.

967. It was funny, between dress and air they went to the museum.

968. They're so smart, y'know,

969. everybody else is just hanging out.

970. So anyways they did the parrot sketch

971. and another sketch, so I'm running down,

972. y'know you can see 'em live in dress,

973. I mean not dress, in rehearsal,

974. so I went down and they were there,

975. and I was running by Cheri Oteri and I said

976. Monty Python, Cleese and Palin

977. are gonna do the parrot sketch.

978. She goes, "Is it good?"

979. I'm like, aren't you a sketch actress?

980. That's your job, your entire job?

981. Wouldn't you know everybody?

982. - Love Me Do, is that a good song?

983. You're like, no are you joking?

984. - But it bombed.

985. - Yeah I think his people either

986. didn't know it, or they knew it so well,

987. it was like, cool they're doing it.

988. I remember seeing that live,

989. that was Kevin Spacey, I remember that show.

990. That was where you guys did the Star Wars auditions,

991. which I think is like one of the best sketches

992. of all time, favorite sketch.

993. - They've done auditions since then.

994. - Fully ripping that one off, yeah.

995. Or just being like, let's do,

996. we did Back to the Future, we did Top Gun,

997. it's just a great impression parade thing.

998. - It is, it's a great idea.

999. Spacey was so amazing with impressions.

1000. - His Jack Lemmon was great.

1001. - Jack Lemmon as Chewbacca is one of

1002. - So Goddamn good.

1003. - He's like "I drove all the way

1004. "From Beverly Hills to play a space ape?

1005. "Before we put the spaghetti in the machine,

1006. "You mind telling me what the hell this thing is?"

1007. Oh my gosh, we'd quote that all the time,

1008. it was so good.

1009. - Did you have a Alec Baldwin there?

1010. - Oh yeah, every season pretty much.

1011. - He's amazing, I don't know what he's doing now.

1012. - He was unreal.

1013. - He sends me weird tweets.

1014. But he used to come when he was a lot younger, I guess,

1015. 'cause it was when I started, which was 20 years ago,

1016. and he was married to Kim Basinger,

1017. and he'd complain about her, like,

1018. y'know the most beautiful woman.

1019. He'd go, "Ah, fuckin' wife, she bought a town."

1020. He was mad 'cause she bought a town.

1021. - A town?

1022. She bought a whole town, oh my God.

1023. - Yeah so their credit score went down a little.

1024. - "We see you bought a town."

1025. - But he was cool, there was a secretary,

1026. I don't suppose you'd call them that anymore,

1027. but a pretty girl behind a typewriter,

1028. whatever you call 'em,

1029. and she was very sexy, y'know?

1030. And so me and Downey and Steve Higgins

1031. are trying to write, and we're all burnt out,

1032. and we have stains all over us,

1033. and then he comes in, Baldwin, looks perfect.

1034. He just had dinner with Lorne,

1035. and he's trying to be like us, one of the guys,

1036. and he goes, "That secretary,"

1037. no not, he didn't say secretary,

1038. he goes "That assistant girl out there,

1039. "Man I'd saw my left leg off to fuck her."

1040. - Jesus Christ.

1041. - And I said, "I think all you have to do is ask her."

1042. - Yeah you're Alec Baldwin, I think you're alright.

1043. - But the coolest thing he did, he walked in,

1044. and he threw a whole bunch of cigarettes,

1045. like he had 12 packs of cigarettes.

1046. And I thought that was really cool.

1047. He was a very, y'know some of the hosts,

1048. as you know, were not very involved in the writing.

1049. - Yeah, no he was totally, he was,

1050. - He could've been a cast member.

1051. - He really could have been a cast member, yeah.

1052. And he was someone, too, when he came

1053. he just elevated everybody, 'cause you were just like,

1054. well you have to be on your game this week

1055. 'cause Baldwin's here and he just, yeah.

1056. - Did you ever do a sketch with the wrong host,

1057. and then regret it?

1058. - Oh like you had an idea

1059. and you picked the wrong host for it?

1060. - Yeah.

1061. - I probably did, yeah.

1062. We did a sketch, it's online,

1063. that Rob Klein and John Solomon wrote,

1064. where I was, it's called Daddy's Song,

1065. where I'm like this cowboy, and

1066. we had Justin Bieber, was in it, did you see this?

1067. It's great.

1068. It goes awful, like everything that could,

1069. it went to dress, but you should watch it.

1070. - Was it a viral?

1071. - I think it's online, yeah, but I'm playing a,

1072. during the sketch the wall almost fell on Justin Bieber.

1073. - Good for that wall.

1074. - Like one of the stage things almost fell on,

1075. and the guy, you know the big boom poles,

1076. like those giant ones, he put it down and caught the wall,

1077. and righted it back up with the boom thing.

1078. And Justin Bieber was freaked out

1079. and didn't want to be out there.

1080. Just everything that could go wrong,

1081. and they gave me the wrong props,

1082. they gave me the wrong hat.

1083. It was very dumb idea, the whole idea was like,

1084. this song is about my daddy, the day my daddy died,

1085. and all this stuff, and I'm like,

1086. "Can I have my other guitar please?"

1087. And they just give me this crazy, like, triple neck guitar.

1088. - Wait I have seen this, yeah yeah.

1089. - And as their putting all these accoutrement on me,

1090. I'm talking like, "He was a good old farmhand."

1091. Like, what the fuck is this song?

1092. Weird kazoo things and all this shit on me,

1093. and they handed me all the wrong props,

1094. and it was one of those great things

1095. where it went so horribly bad,

1096. and I went up to Higgins office on nine, the writers,

1097. and I walked in, and everybody just

1098. was on the floor laughing, I walk in, they're like,

1099. "Aaaaah!"

1100. - Wasn't it great on the 40th when,

1101. I think it was Mike Myers thanked the crew,

1102. and everybody went crazy, and then you think about,

1103. the crew is, some of those guys are so old,

1104. and they've been there since Belushi.

1105. Phil Hymes, what's he 90?

1106. - Phil Hymes is 90, yeah.

1107. I was doing those Vincent Price things and he was like,

1108. "I was here when Vincent Price was here, 1949."

1109. And you're like geeze.

1110. And I'm like, you are fuckin' old.

1111. They used to do a thing when Phil Hymes would walk by

1112. and Amy Pohler would be like,

1113. "Look it's the ghost of Phil Hymes."

1114. 'cause he walks so slow.

1115. "There it is, there it is!"

1116. And he'd go, like, "Fuck you!"

1117. And Pardo too.

1118. - Pardo, I had to do the, 'cause

1119. the guy that does Update, at that time,

1120. had to do the warm up, and I sucked at the warm up.

1121. And so Pardo would come out first and go,

1122. "Anyone from California?"

1123. He'd put his arms up and y'know, like Nixon.

1124. So then he left and I was trying

1125. to think of something funny to say,

1126. so I go, this is my first show, I go,

1127. "Don Pardo ladies and gentlemen, man doesn't realize

1128. "he could be replaced by a tape recorder."

1129. And then I look at Don Pardo and

1130. he has the saddest look on his face.

1131. I'm like oh my God why'd I say that?

1132. So then I become his best friend.

1133. I was always with Don Pardo 'cause I felt so bad,

1134. but he did the funniest thing, I don't know

1135. if he did this on purpose, but Don Pardo

1136. lost his wife during the, he didn't lose her,

1137. - She passed away.

1138. - Yeah he buried her.

1139. And so it's the summer time, I'm like

1140. oh God now I have to go and say I'm sorry and stuff

1141. to Don Pardo, so he was at that area

1142. outside of the control booth, y'know

1143. where you get the coffee and stuff like that,

1144. and I saw him, it was the first show back,

1145. and I go, "Don, I'm so sorry about your wife."

1146. And his voice is always loud, and I said,

1147. "I'm so sorry about your wife," and he goes,

1148. "At the end we weren't getting along."

1149. So now I thought, that would be

1150. the coolest thing to say to somebody,

1151. 'cause you take away all their bad feeling.

1152. He'd tell me he'd stamp checks every day, he said,

1153. "I wake up, and I have all these checks,

1154. "and I just stamp my name."

1155. Y'know because his voice is on everything.

1156. - I had to try to do Pardo once

1157. when he was too sick to do it, they brought me in

1158. to do the opening, and I had to do it,

1159. and it sounded like young Pardo, and it was so hard to do.

1160. And one time I remember, I recorded this V.O.

1161. That opened the show, the very first thing in the show

1162. was like a long crawl of like, "In ninteen whatever,"

1163. and then Jenna, our stage manager runs over

1164. and is like, "The tape's not working,

1165. "You gotta go do it live,

1166. "and we're live in like one minute."

1167. So she shoves me into that booth,

1168. - Scary in there.

1169. - Scary booth, and you put those headphones on

1170. and you hear everything that's going on, like,

1171. "Camera three, go, already, right"

1172. it's just madness going on,

1173. "Alright everybody here we go, okay one minute, one minute."

1174. And you're like, how do they hire people

1175. that have no poker face, they're like,

1176. "One minute! One minute!"

1177. And you're just like, geeze, this is your job for years.

1178. You'd think you'd be like,

1179. "Hey guys, one minute, we're fine"

1180. but it was like "Aaahhhh!"

1181. And I'm like, this is awful.

1182. "Live, we're going live!"

1183. And I was sitting there, like freaked out,

1184. and the writer, Seth Meyers ran,

1185. he came over with the script, hands it to me, slams it.

1186. And I'm like shaking, and there's no video.

1187. - It's scary in that booth.

1188. - It's awful, and Jenna's like, "There's no video,

1189. "Just, I point to you, just start talking."

1190. So she points to me and I read the thing again,

1191. I trip over a couple words, it's a long thing,

1192. it's like three pages and I trip over some,

1193. I'm doing it, and I finish, and I sit down,

1194. and Pardo was in the booth with me the whole time,

1195. and I sat on his lap, and he goes,

1196. "Hey get off of me!"

1197. Don I'm sorry, and then he went,

1198. "It's Saturday Night Live!"

1199. I was like, Don you were there the whole time?

1200. Like the whole time I was just shitting my pants,

1201. like ah fuck!

1202. Don was just sitting there like

1203. an old elevator attendant, y'know.

1204. Waiting to do his thing and then

1205. get back on a plane to Florida.

1206. But he was so nice.

1207. - No he was the calmest guy, for sure.

1208. - You told him, "You see that area over there?"

1209. He's like, "I, right there, they

1210. "had little stations where you would,

1211. "and I announced Kennedy's assassination, right there."

1212. - He did do it?

1213. - Yeah he did.

1214. - Holy shit.

1215. - He had been in it forever.

1216. "John Kennedy, no longer alive!

1217. "In Dallas, Texas, John F. Kennedy is dead!

1218. "Oh I should have proofread this before I..."

1219. "Shit.

1220. "No more president."

1221. - I always wanted to do a sketch, but they never did it,

1222. but about when the Hindenburg came down,

1223. and then the guy's like, "Oh the humanity, the humanity,"

1224. and just his friends going where the fuck,

1225. what did that come from?

1226. Did you just have that in your back pocket all these years?

1227. - How long have you had humanity in your back pocket, man?

1228. - Did you have any sketches that

1229. you held for a different host?

1230. - Yeah I had one sketch, it was supposed to be

1231. the oldest game show ever, it's called Tic-Tac-Toe,

1232. and nobody ever won, so but it was the older show,

1233. and they hadn't revamped it, and so

1234. I was an old man that, they had the Tic-Tac-Toe board

1235. that was really old, and I had a big box

1236. of X's and O's that I would hammer in,

1237. and the host was supposed to go, "Hurry up"

1238. and I'd go, "Whaddya think, this is an O?

1239. "This an an X."

1240. But anyways, the next week would have been Phil Hartman,

1241. who would have been perfect, but instead

1242. I got the guy from Independence Day.

1243. - Jeff Goldblum?

1244. - Bill Pullman?

1245. - Yeah Pullman, and he decides he's gonna make it funny,

1246. So he goes, "Bill, what's the answer?"

1247. and all this crazy stuff,

1248. and I was like oh I made a mistake.

1249. - That's always really rough.

1250. I remember watching a sketch that,

1251. I feel like you might have, do you remember

1252. when Ferrell played Gabe Kaplan?

1253. - That sounds hilarious.

1254. - No, it was one of the funniest sketches I've ever seen,

1255. it didn't go to dress, it didn't go to air,

1256. and it was Amy Poehler, I did something at dress

1257. and it bombed, and I felt awful about it,

1258. and Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers are like,

1259. oh you should watch Gabe Kaplan,

1260. that's how you deal with everything going wrong.

1261. And I watched it, again a learning thing,

1262. Will Ferrell, he was so funny, he came in

1263. and it was a break room and everybody's talking

1264. and you see, they go,

1265. "Hey you know who opened an account here?"

1266. They go who and they go, "Gabe Kaplan."

1267. From Welcome Back Kotter, if anybody remembers.

1268. And then you see Ferrell come in as Gabe Kaplan,

1269. and he's kinda, in their break room

1270. with a cup of coffee and they go,

1271. "Yeah Gabe Kaplan, I love Gabe Kaplan,

1272. "Welcome Back Kotter, so cool,

1273. "so he's gonna be at our bank now."

1274. And you see Will hear them, and he walks over

1275. and he goes, "Did you guys say Gabe Kaplan?"

1276. And they go, "Oh hey Jeff."

1277. So he's not Gabe Kaplan, and they say,

1278. and he goes, "Did you say Gabe Kaplan?"

1279. And he goes yeah, and he goes,

1280. "Well why didn't someone get me?"

1281. And they go, "Oh do you like Gabe Kaplan?"

1282. He goes, "Do I like Gabe Kaplan?"

1283. And it just died.

1284. - It got nothin'.

1285. - Nothin', just silence, and you just see Ferrell

1286. just settle in, he just digs in,

1287. "I can't believe this!

1288. "Oh my gosh!"

1289. 'Cause he knows they have, like,

1290. - He's trying to get a laugh.

1291. - Anything, God it made me laugh

1292. and I was like that's a good lesson

1293. of what to do when things go wrong.

1294. - Wait, did you work with Will?

1295. - No, when he hosted.

1296. He was so funny.

1297. - Yeah he's about the best I've ever seen on that show.

1298. Maybe Phil Hartman - Yeah he was unbelievable.

1299. I would have loved to have met Phil Hartman,

1300. was he nice?

1301. Was that cool?

1302. - Oh, Phil Hartman was the nicest guy.

1303. - Yeah he was my favorite when I watched the show.

1304. - But Will I think was naturally funnier,

1305. y'know, in real life.

1306. Phil Hartman was more like a

1307. super professional comic actor.

1308. But Will in real life, y'know it was so funny,

1309. 'cause he'd walk around in a Jerry Reed outfit

1310. for two weeks, and you'd never know what to do.

1311. The thing is, everybody, if you're a stand-up

1312. and not a sketch guy, you don't know how to do it.

1313. So they were all doing improv,

1314. and then I would be hiding, 'cause

1315. I didn't want to get involved.

1316. And he'd come up as Jerry Reed and go,

1317. "Hey how ya' doin', you got a horse?"

1318. And I go, I don't know how to do this.

1319. - Get away from me.

1320. - I'll watch it, I love watching it, but it's like,

1321. I don't know if you're like this, but if I'm at a show

1322. and the lights come up, and the guy goes,

1323. "I'm gonna talk to people in the audience,"

1324. I freak out.

1325. - Oh I hate that, yeah.

1326. I have awful, I had awful stage fright

1327. when I was at SNL, I had awful,

1328. - Oh I did too, I had a panic attack once.

1329. - Me too, did you have one on air?

1330. - Yeah.

1331. - I did too.

1332. What happened with you?

1333. - I was gonna go on, y'know I'd had

1334. five or six panic attacks in real life,

1335. before that, but this was right before Update,

1336. I said, "I can't go on."

1337. And then Downey said,

1338. "You'll lose your job, you gotta go on."

1339. And so I went on, and I mean, you can see the tape.

1340. So I'm just waxy, and I'm talking as fast as I can,

1341. and then afterwards Downey said, "What the fuck was that?"

1342. And I said, "I was just experimenting."

1343. But then I went and I got some pills after that.

1344. - I had this, Jeff Bridges show I was like,

1345. Julian Assange, and it was that thing where you sit there,

1346. and they're doing the monologue,

1347. and then you're the next thing,

1348. and you're sitting there waiting,

1349. and then suddenly I was like, oh my God I'm so nervous,

1350. and then that thing fades around,

1351. and then the camera comes over to you,

1352. and they're pointing to you, like,

1353. "Okay ready?"

1354. Again freaked out, and then it's like 5-4,

1355. and then suddenly I went, someone's stepping on my chest,

1356. and I had a glass of wine, and I just put it

1357. in front of my mouth like this,

1358. and I just talked and my hand was shaking,

1359. and it was a similar thing, Seth Meyers wrote it

1360. and was like, "Hey are we okay?"

1361. Like afterwards, like, everything okay?

1362. I was like, I couldn't breathe.

1363. - Were you alone in the sketch?

1364. - Yeah it was just me, solo, right down the barrel

1365. I was like, I was freaking out.

1366. - I remember with the, y'know they'd have the cue cards,

1367. much bigger than these, but y'know

1368. they're standing like a foot from you with the cue cards,

1369. so every time I would pause, for like a second,

1370. they'd go, as if I'd wiped out and had a stroke.

1371. It's just a kind of pause I'm taking.

1372. But it's what you were talking about,

1373. that mentality of, like it's air traffic controllers

1374. trying to get everything, y'know

1375. the interesting thing about that show is

1376. if you go to a show in Los Angeles,

1377. like my mother came, she loved The Golden Girls,

1378. so I got her to see The Golden Girls,

1379. and she went, and then she didn't like it.

1380. 'Cause she sees how fake it is,

1381. and they do 10 takes and all that,

1382. where as Saturday Night Live's the opposite.

1383. When I was on, nobody liked it,

1384. but I'd invite a guy to see it,

1385. and he'd go, "It's the greatest thing I've ever seen."

1386. - Yeah it's like, every person that would go see it,

1387. even like my really cool,

1388. alternative comedy friends from LA,

1389. they were like, "That show hasn't been good in 20 years,"

1390. They always, just, the experience of going,

1391. watching all the moving parts and going, "Oh my gosh."

1392. - It would be great if they could somehow translate that.

1393. - Yeah, no one cares that it's live,

1394. like you would be like, "Well that was live."

1395. And they're like, "I..."

1396. - Well y'know if they do like a two minute,

1397. like, Oprah thing before they do the Oprah sketch,

1398. y'know it doesn't look as live,

1399. it would be cool if you could see them.

1400. Sandler told me once he was changing,

1401. he only had a minute, y'know, and the wardrobe guy

1402. was changing him quickly, and he had his hands

1403. stuck like this, in the shirt, he couldn't get it out,

1404. and they were going, like you were saying,

1405. "Ten seconds!"

1406. And so the guy's pushing and pulling and pulling,

1407. and then Sandler, he said his hand came out,

1408. and it punched him, the guy in the face.

1409. He punched the wardrobe guy in the face.

1410. So he said, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

1411. The wardrobe guy goes, "Just go, go!"

1412. - "Just run, leave me!"

1413. I had someone put glue in my ear once,

1414. y'know they put glue for the,

1415. I was Alan Alda, I remember it was that thing,

1416. and the glue went right into my ear, the whole thing,

1417. and I was like, y'know, like that awful feeling

1418. when you just, and you just can't and you go,

1419. "Oh, what was that?"

1420. And they're like, "It's glue."

1421. I was like, that's bad, and then the woman's like.

1422. - You look somewhat like Alan Alda,

1423. do you do a great Alan Alda impression or not?

1424. - It's okay.

1425. - You don't wanna do it.

1426. - Yeah.

1427. - You don't wanna do it.

1428. - You can watch it on the...

1429. - We'll look it up.

1430. - I did Alan Alda and I was having to,

1431. you really project and stuff, and then that awful thing,

1432. and the minute it's done just going over.

1433. - Was it the Alan Alda from M*A*S*H?

1434. - Yeah it was him, well the one I did before was him

1435. auditioning for Biff, the bad guy in Back to the Future.

1436. - But as the M*A*S*H guy.

1437. - Yeah, so it was that era.

1438. - It's interesting with Alan Alda's career,

1439. because he was the funniest guy, allegedly,

1440. when he was on M*A*S*H, and then

1441. Woody Allen discovered he could be a bad guy

1442. and put him in Crimes and Misdemeanors.

1443. - He was great in that movie.

1444. - He was great, and then ever since, he was a villain.

1445. - Yeah, "If it bends, it's funny,

1446. "If it breaks it's not funny."

1447. It's so good.

1448. - That's such a heartbreaking movie,

1449. when he gets Mia Farrow, it's like real life.

1450. - If anybody has not seen Crimes and Misdemeanors in a while

1451. it is like one of the best movies.

1452. - Isn't it amazing?

1453. Every part of it.

1454. - Yeah it's such a great movie.

1455. - Every part of it, Sam Waterson,

1456. is that the one where, was Woody's story

1457. that he's worried about dying?

1458. - Yeah, oh no I think that's Hannah and Her Sisters,

1459. where he buys all the,

1460. - When he's with his niece and goes to the,

1461. what's Woody Allen's story?

1462. - He's a filmmaker.

1463. - Oh that's right, I'm sorry, he was the filmmaker.

1464. And then at the end of the movie he meets Martin Landau.

1465. - Me and Fred Armisen used to do Crimes and Misdemeanors,

1466. as a joke we would do, 'cause every movie is,

1467. 'cause Martin Landau's having an affair in that movie

1468. with Anjelica Huston, and there'd always be

1469. this big wide shot and so we would just pretend

1470. like we're at a party, and it's like,

1471. "Oh oh have some, you want some food, have a, you're fine."

1472. And then someone would go, "Dear,

1473. "Someone's on the phone for you."

1474. "Oh, well alright, you just."

1475. And this is like, there's three scenes like this,

1476. and Martin Landau goes, "Oh there's a telephone call for me,

1477. "Alright well, give her a drink, will ya?"

1478. And then it would cut to him and he'd be like,

1479. "Why are you calling me?"

1480. So Fred and I would draw out that thing.

1481. - "They're shooting me out in the rain tonight."

1482. - Yeah out in the rain, and he,

1483. "Why are you calling me, are you nuts?"

1484. So we'd see who could get it long enough,

1485. the most business you could put in to it,

1486. which Fred and I found funny, it was like,

1487. "Get the hors d'oeuvres."

1488. So dumb.

1489. - Did you have to learn to do that?

1490. 'Cause I had a TV show once,

1491. and everybody as doing business except me,

1492. I was just like stock still, and I thought I was acting,

1493. but it turned out only the other person I was talking to

1494. was acting, so I felt that would make me

1495. look like I was acting, but it worked the opposite.

1496. But I could never, so fuckin', trying to memorize my lines

1497. without a big cue card in front of me,

1498. which was the coolest.

1499. And then one time I picked up a pencil.

1500. - And they were like, "Woah, watch out Marlon Brando."

1501. - I do the same thing as Brando,

1502. me and Brando do the same thing, ear wig.

1503. - Oh really?

1504. - You ever do it?

1505. - No.

1506. - Fantastic.

1507. - Paul Rudd worked with Jack Nicholson

1508. and he said he had one too, and he said

1509. it was great, but he would have this pause

1510. between saying the line, he would

1511. kind of like digest it for a second, and then say the line.

1512. - All the elderly guys do it.

1513. I remember we did a table read,

1514. 'cause when you see real actors it's weird,

1515. so we did a table read for Sandler

1516. for this movie he did where he

1517. played his own twin sister or something.

1518. - Jack and Jill?

1519. - Jack and Jill.

1520. And Pachino was in it,

1521. who should host SNL, now that I think about it.

1522. Don't know why he hasn't.

1523. So everybody else was just going off their lines, right?

1524. And he was making up stuff.

1525. He'd go, "I wanna see you tonight, why do I wanna see ya,

1526. "There's gotta be a reason to see ya',

1527. "but I do wanna see ya', I wanna tell you that.

1528. "I wanna see you, absolutely."

1529. And then he said he phoned Smeigel

1530. in the middle of the night, who wrote the movie,

1531. and told him he figured out the movie,

1532. that he was some fuckin' character from Don Quixote.

1533. So Smigel said, "Oh phone Sandler and tell him that."

1534. It was amazing to see a real actor,

1535. 'cause he was like why read the lines?

1536. Why not fuck around and try to find something.

1537. - Yeah and at those table reads you just wanna go home.

1538. But yeah you do see that, I remember

1539. I did a movie once with Julianne Moore,

1540. and watching how she could turn it on and turn it off,

1541. like you'd be sitting there chatting with her,

1542. and she's like the nicest, most loveliest,

1543. down to Earth person on Earth,

1544. and then the minute they would say action

1545. you would see her just switch it on, do the thing,

1546. and every take would be just a little different,

1547. oh she did that different, I mean it was unreal.

1548. And you're like, "I don't know what I'm doing."

1549. - The last show I ever did on Saturday Night Live,

1550. Robert Duvall came, not as host,

1551. he just did a couple of sketches,

1552. but that guy's my hero, y'know,

1553. so I go down to the makeup room and I meet Robert Duvall

1554. and I have all these questions for him,

1555. 'cause I know so much of his work,

1556. and I didn't even get any questions,

1557. he started talking to me, he's like,

1558. "Where you from, son?"

1559. And I'm like, "Oh, Canada."

1560. He goes, "Oh there's some good cattlemen there,

1561. "I know some good cattlemen.

1562. "What'd you do down there?"

1563. I go, "I was just going, travel the country, kinda."

1564. Goes, "Must have been interesting."

1565. So anyways, it might have just been a deflection,

1566. so he didn't have to take my questions,

1567. but it felt like he was sucking any,

1568. he was just trying to notice any human behavior from me,

1569. 'cause he did it afterwards to the makeup girl.

1570. It was like he was studying.

1571. - Yeah, trying to find something.

1572. - Yeah, which makes sense, y'know because a writer

1573. or an artist, if they're at the top level,

1574. they have to constantly survey the human condition

1575. and everything in it.

1576. - It'd be cool to see Robert Duvall

1577. in his next movie and he has your cadence.

1578. "So, I'm a cattleman."

1579. Oh Norm he took your shit!

1580. Tender Mercies, like.

1581. - If you wanna see a cool thing concerning Robert Duvall,

1582. he did a move written by Horton Foote called Tomorrow,

1583. and it's very hard to find, but you can find it on YouTube.

1584. And you know what it is?

1585. Sling Blade.

1586. - Really?

1587. How long before Sling Blade came out.

1588. - Oh, 30 years.

1589. - Woah, oh wow.

1590. - Pretty interesting.

1591. - That's crazy.

1592. - And he was in Sling Blade.

1593. And I asked him about it, and he said,

1594. "Ah that Horton Foote said he took it,

1595. "But no no, he's just a relative."

1596. But I know Billy Bob, I love Billy Bob.

1597. He's a very very cool guy.

1598. - I've never met him before.

1599. - You know who he does a great impression of

1600. that I've never heard anybody else do?

1601. Lee Marvin.

1602. - Oh really?

1603. - Yeah.

1604. - Oh wow.

1605. - So I was trying to listen to it,

1606. cause y'know how sometimes you can

1607. get the impression by listening to him do it,

1608. but I couldn't get it, but boy what a great voice that was.

1609. There's a story about Lee Marvin and,

1610. I know we're going way off topic,

1611. but I don't know if there is a topic,

1612. but Lee Marvin was interviewed by Roger Ebert at his house,

1613. and Michelle Triola, the one he had the alimony suit with

1614. came out, they were around the pool,

1615. and a dog came out, Lee Marvin's dog,

1616. with panties in his mouth, and Michelle Triola said,

1617. "Those aren't my panties."

1618. And Lee Marvin goes,

1619. "Of course they are, they're your panties."

1620. She goes, "No they're not my panties."

1621. And then Lee Marvin goes, "Bad dog."

1622. Well ask your question and then we're gonna end the program.

1623. - Oh we're gonna end the program, we're not doin' jokes.

1624. - We're not gonna do jokes.

1625. - Yeah alright that's fine.

1626. - Because it's too interesting.

1627. - Well you don't wanna end on a...

1628. - Bunch of bad jokes.

1629. We write jokes on these blue cards.

1630. - Oh let's not do it.

1631. - I think it's been really a thorough interview,

1632. I just wanted, I mean I always wanted to know

1633. where he got his ideas from, but I think we've.

1634. - I've never been asked that before.

1635. - Where do you get your ideas from?

1636. - I don't know where I get my, I don't know.

1637. Do you have a specific idea you wanna know where?

1638. - No just all of 'em.

1639. - All of 'em? I don't know.

1640. - What's next for Bill Hader, what's next for you?

1641. I'm in a, doing an HBO show called Barry,

1642. that's gonna come out sometime next year I think,

1643. and then Documentary Now season two is about to start.

1644. - That's great, but what's Barry?

1645. - It's a show, I'm like a, I created it

1646. wit this guy Alec Berg, who did like

1647. Curb Your Enthusiasm and stuff,

1648. and it's about, I play an ex-Marine,

1649. who now works as a hitman, and he comes to LA to kill a guy,

1650. and he tails the guy to his acting class,

1651. run by Henry Winkler.

1652. - Henry Winkler's in it?

1653. - Yeah and he's like, oh I think I wanna take this class,

1654. and Stephen Root's my, kind of like,

1655. hitman agent guy and he's like,

1656. "What the fuck are you doing?

1657. "What are you doing, you can't take an acting class."

1658. And so it's basically this guy

1659. deciding he wants to be an actor.

1660. But he's like this shadowy,

1661. it doesn't work for his lifestyle.

1662. - He's a hitman.

1663. - Yeah he's a hitman, he kills people.

1664. - He kills people, in the show.

1665. - Yeah, a lot of murders and stuff, so we'll see.

1666. - That sounds very funny.

1667. Y'know there was one show with a hitman, oh God

1668. did you ever see Dexter?

1669. You look somewhat like Dexter.

1670. - Oh I've gotten that a lot.

1671. I've had people come up to me on subways and be like,

1672. "You're crazy."

1673. I'm always trying to figure out, like,

1674. do they know who I am?

1675. Okay is it Dwight from The Office?

1676. Crazy like Dwight from The Office

1677. or crazy like the guy on SNL or crazy like Dexter?

1678. And they're like, "Dexter."

1679. - Dexter's been on 35 years and no one knows the guy's name.

1680. - Michael C. Hall.

1681. - Oh you know his name?

1682. - The studio audience goes, "Michael C. Hall,"

1683. and you're like, "We're never doing this again.

1684. "You guys are traitors."

1685. - I watched it for a while but,

1686. it was that he killed the guy every Goddamn episode,

1687. and in exactly the same manner.

1688. - I never saw it, I had a buddy who was on it once

1689. who played a serial killer on it and,

1690. yeah I think he had a tough time.

1691. - Did you ever hear Colin Quinn talks about,

1692. he's in New York walking around,

1693. and they have those Law and Order: SVUs,

1694. they have like four of 'em or something,

1695. and he said he keeps walking into the set

1696. and he still can't get on the show.

1697. They're like, "Hey Colin,"

1698. I mean everyone else has been on the show.

1699. - Colin could load boxes and answer questions.

1700. "I knew that guy."

1701. John Mulaney does a really funny bit like that

1702. where the people, have you seen that?

1703. Where he does all the people from Law and Order,

1704. the guy and the boxes, and he goes, my favorite is

1705. the African American female judge who goes, "I'll allow it."

1706. John Mulaney does it, look it up,

1707. it's on of my favorite bits, it makes me laugh.

1708. I sometimes put it on, I'll have it on my phone

1709. just to watch it 'cause I need to laugh.

1710. - Is this his stand-up?

1711. - Yeah, yeah.

1712. - He does one about Ice-T, too on that show, doesn't he?

1713. - Oh they were obsessed with Ice-T,

1714. they had Fred played Ice-T a lot in SVU,

1715. just like, "Yeah."

1716. - Do you miss all these guys that you collaborated with?

1717. - Well we're all on Documentary Now! most of 'em.

1718. - How do you, but what about Barry?

1719. - Barry is a whole different crew.

1720. - Is it hard?

1721. - Yeah, it's different, but it's also good.

1722. - It's not you, is it?

1723. - Writing it, yeah, yeah.

1724. Writing it, and me and Alec Berg

1725. and we're just hiring people now.

1726. It's good, but it is a different tone and everything

1727. from SNL, which I wanted to try, no it's cool.

1728. - That's awesome.

1729. - Well we'll look for that.

1730. HBO is the place to be.

1731. - I know, I feel very lucky, yeah.

1732. I feel very, very lucky to be on HBO.

1733. - Hard to get on there.

1734. Who likes you there?

1735. - I don't know, somebody.

1736. - I was hoping he could put in a good word.

1737. - "So I did the Norm Macdonald show today.

1738. "Turns out Norm's a fan."

1739. - But it's funny, if someone on a network doesn't like you,

1740. you're done at that network, until that person leaves

1741. because of a sexual, that's how they all leave,

1742. every executive on every network,

1743. "Oh he punched his wife in front of the valet.

1744. "He punched his wife in the face."

1745. That's a real guy, but yeah.

1746. "He was at the Aspen Comedy Festival, raped three women."

1747. - Jesus Christ.

1748. - And then you go, "Thank God 'cause

1749. "That was the guy that fuckin' turned me down."

1750. It's funny when guys lose power,

1751. when I first came to Los Angeles

1752. my dream was to get on the Carson show,

1753. because he was only on the air for six more months,

1754. he'd already announced his retirement,

1755. and I was like, I wanna be the last comic on the show,

1756. he'd anoint and all this, and this Jim McCawley idiot

1757. who was the booker, and everybody hated him,

1758. but it was so funny when he lost,

1759. when The Tonight Show ended, 'cause then

1760. the comics just tore him apart, know what I mean?

1761. He couldn't enter a comedy club without being,

1762. he was just the meanest guy.

1763. He came up to me once, I did my set he goes,

1764. "I didn't like it but I was drunk."

1765. And one time I'm doing it and he was sitting

1766. in the third row and he starts necking with a blonde girl.

1767. Did you know Jim McCawley?

1768. - There's no one here by the way.

1769. He's talking to an empty chair.

1770. - We have Letterman people here,

1771. Daniel Kellison used to book guests

1772. for The David Letterman Show, and if you look over there,

1773. the fellow with the green shirt, was,

1774. along with Jim Downey, David Letterman's main creators

1775. of the whole, I would say David Letterman

1776. was the top one, in terms of constructing it,

1777. but Downey and more so Steve O'Donnell.

1778. - Oh that's awesome.

1779. Hi, I'm Bill.

1780. - He did a top 10 list, the top 10 numbers

1781. between one and 10.

1782. - At 10, five.

1783. - Now was there a joke at the end of that?

1784. - Well there were some surprises,

1785. there was a fraction near the end.

1786. A tie ending.

1787. - That's amazing.

1788. - He's gone now, David Letterman.

1789. Apparently he's gonna do this show.

1790. - Really, oh my God that would be amazing.

1791. - And every actual talk show host will kill themselves.

1792. - Yeah it'll be on the news.

1793. "The universe inverted today.

1794. "You're probably wondering why all the cars

1795. "are flying in midair.

1796. "Because David Letterman, for some reason,

1797. "Went on Norm Macdonald's."

1798. - I still feel, in my heart, and I can only go by my heart,

1799. I'm not a person that goes by my brain,

1800. I just go by my heart, that Bill Hader

1801. is ultimately unknowable.

1802. - Yes, that's true.

1803. - What do you think?

1804. - I don't know.

1805. - Okay.

1806. - See? Proves your point.

1807. - Exactly, that's true, you don't know.

1808. Thanks for comin' with us sir, it was really fun.

1809. - Thanks buddy, thanks for having me.

1810. - The great Bill Hader.

1811. - Thanks studio audience.