Norm Macdonald Live 2x6

1. - Tonight...

2. For the full hour, Todd Glass is with us.

3. You know Todd.

4. - I love Todd.

5. - We have a studio audience all of a sudden, somehow.

6. - Todd's a very popular guy.

7. - Todd Glass will be with us.

8. Now, how are you doing, Adam?

9. - I'm doing well.

10. It's good to be here. - My trusty sidekick.

11. - That's right.

12. - You look good, you look nice.

13. - Thank you, thank you.

14. - Yeah, I'd like to shove my fuckin' cock in your mouth.

15. No, I'm kidding.

16. But, did you ever hear the joke about the fella that...

17. He went to a house,

18. and it was very isolated.

19. And there was a woman there and her mother.

20. And they looked very much alike.

21. Do you ever have occasion to see that,

22. where the mother looks so young,

23. it could almost be a sister?

24. - Yeah, for sure.

25. - And, so he was with the mother and the daughter,

26. and he went to bed, and he turned off the lights.

27. It was very dark as it is in summer,

28. as it is in the country, you know?

29. And someone entered, opened the door in the night.

30. And he was a little 'fraid, "Who is it?"

31. And he heard the voice of this woman,

32. and he wasn't sure if it was the mother or the daughter.

33. And she came over and she said, "It's so lonely here,

34. "you know?

35. "There've been no men," and she caressed his arm.

36. One thing became the inevitable.

37. - They had sex?

38. - Yes, you don't have to be coarse about it, but yes.

39. And the next day...

40. As the lady's leaving, it's 4 a.m., and she's like,

41. "The light's about to come on.

42. "I must leave."

43. And the fella says, "But who are you?

44. "I must know.

45. "I must know which you are."

46. "No, you can't know," and she leaves.

47. And so the next day, the man wakes up,

48. and they're having breakfast,

49. and he looks, you see, from the mother to the daughter,

50. trying to find a signal from them,

51. but gets nothing, you know?

52. And so, that night, the same thing occurs,

53. and again he says, "I must know.

54. "Who are you?"

55. "You can't know."

56. "I'm going to Melbourne tomorrow.

57. "I must know."

58. "You can't know."

59. So, she goes.

60. Next day, he talks to them again,

61. and he's still getting nothing from them, you see?

62. So, the next night, the same thing happens,

63. and he says, "I must know this," after she vanishes

64. into the house.

65. He says to her, "I'm going to Melbourne tomorrow.

66. "Will you go with me?

67. "Your caresses are so wonderful,

68. "and your lovemaking is nonpareil."

69. He feels the tears run down his chest from the girl.

70. She goes, "I can't go, I cannot go."

71. So, he still doesn't know if it's the mother

72. or the daughter.

73. And as he's leaving, he shakes the hands

74. of both the mother and the daughter,

75. and he shakes them firmly to try to get some feeling

76. from them, but nothing, still nothing.

77. And so, he leaves,

78. and the old man, the driver drives him

79. to the boat where he is to sail away

80. to Melbourne the next day.

81. And the old man says, "You know why this place

82. "is so isolated?"

83. "No, no," the man says.

84. "Why?"

85. "Well, it's so isolated, you see,

86. because there is another sister that lives there,

87. a leper.

88. - So he fucked the leper?

89. - Let's not be coarse.

90. Good, God, man, that's not how you tell a joke.

91. That's supposed to happen through your mind,

92. but yes, he did fuck a leper.

93. Our guest tonight, Todd Glass, will be discussing that

94. when we return.

95. For an hour, Todd Glass, veteran comedian

96. and podcast pioneer is with us,

97. and now, best-selling author.

98. - Todd Glass, how you doin', Todd?

99. - I'm doin' very good.

100. - Good, man, we've been tryin' to get—

101. - I'm doin' very good.

102. You've been tryin'...

103. You know, I don't want to start, it seems like,

104. the schtick right away, but like—

105. - We've been tryin' to get ahold of ya.

106. - No, no, don't make it like that.

107. That's not even true.

108. - It is true, we've been tryin'

109. - One time you asked me to do the show.

110. - Yeah, remember?

111. - And then I was gonna do it.

112. - Yes.

113. - And then you had to cancel.

114. - We were, we were—

115. - Somehow he's turned the whole thing around

116. like I'm avoiding his calls.

117. - No, we were asked the big awards there...

118. - YouTube.

119. - The YouTube, what was it called?

120. - I don't know, the YouTube...

121. - Yeah, the big...

122. - Comedy Week.

123. - The Comedy Week.

124. - The Comedy Week of YouTube,

125. and you were on the red carpet.

126. - I'm sure that people that put a lot of work

127. into that week are glad we're sitting here,

128. "What was that thing with the thing with the thing?"

129. - Well, no, I'm trying to.

130. - I know, I'm sorry to interrupt you.

131. - I was doing my best to give it its due respect.

132. - Right, I know.

133. - It smells like a fuckin' pot dispensary in here.

134. - Norm, let's stay on track here.

135. Let's stay on track,

136. so you were saying, "Oh, it's been hard for us

137. "to get you."

138. The truth is maybe that's your way

139. of saying you're glad I'm here,

140. but it hasn't been that hard.

141. - No, it's been...

142. Jesus Christ, I feel like I'm high again.

143. - It's getting all of us high.

144. - I know what I'm saying.

145. I'm making sense.

146. - It's not you, is it?

147. - No.

148. - No, let's move the show in a good order, here.

149. - Yeah, you brought notes.

150. - I wrote one thing down when I was outside.

151. - You do like a weed.

152. - I'm so excited to be here, like I love you, you know?

153. - Yeah?

154. - So, I'm very excited to spend an hour.

155. We both have to turn our phones off.

156. This is better than the real life.

157. - But you don't seem, you seem different.

158. - No, let me, okay, I'm gonna go out of order.

159. - No, it's okay, it doesn't matter.

160. - No, no, no, no, no. - It doesn't matter.

161. - I'm gonna remember this.

162. - It's alright, it's legal, it's legal.

163. - Okay, it has to do with what you just did.

164. - Medicinal marijuana is legal.

165. - Norm fucks with people.

166. Here's what Norm did.

167. I wrote this down, I swear to God.

168. And then we'll get back to what I had here.

169. Norm fucks with people.

170. First of all, when I say I love you, that's the truth.

171. - No, I love you too.

172. - Being around you, your energy, it's fun.

173. - Yeah, I love you too.

174. - But, I had to learn a little bit.

175. He used to come to my house.

176. I have like a...

177. Where am I talking? - And what

178. a great house!

179. - I don't know where to talk to anymore.

180. - This is your trail over here.

181. - I don't mean overall in life, I mean just now.

182. - As Chris Elliott would say, "This is your trail."

183. - So, he would come come to my house,

184. and we have a fire pit.

185. We'd sit around and most people—

186. - Wonderful house and parties that you...

187. I'm just helping.

188. - Thank you, that's real help.

189. - I'm sorry.

190. - Anyway, no, what are you, Ed McMahon?

191. So, anyway, he would come to the house,

192. and then he would say something about...

193. You know, I have to use a real example.

194. I'm very anti-, anti-hitting kids at all.

195. Just, okay, we don't have to get into it.

196. - Good God.

197. - But, but, anti-, no, I don't mean, of course not abu—

198. - You're really goin' out on a limb there.

199. - No, everyone knows that...

200. There are certain people that go, "Of course not abuse,

201. "but a proper spanking."

202. I'm against that too.

203. - Oh, you're against spanking.

204. - Yes, yes, of course, no I'm not defending child abuse.

205. - Yes.

206. - I don't want to go out...

207. A lot of people won't say it, but I don't like child abuse.

208. - I'm done.

209. - We need to know where this story is going.

210. - Yeah, so Norm would sit there, and somehow it came—

211. - So, you're against spanking?

212. - Yes, even spanking.

213. - With children, with children?

214. - Yes, unless it's two consenting adults.

215. I don't really have any—

216. - Spanking, what about when they get ya,

217. and then it hits the back of your balls?

218. - That's just all great timing,

219. 'cause I don't know what you meant.

220. Oh, you mean when you're naked?

221. Oh, naked spanking is even grosser.

222. - Really?

223. - It really, sure, especially when parents go,

224. "I'm gonna pull your..."--

225. - No, no, I mean with two consenting adults.

226. - Oh, I thought you meant...

227. - Why would a father get naked to spank his child?

228. - A lot of parents, okay, I know what I'm talking about.

229. A lot of parents, they go, "I'm gonna pull your pants down

230. and spank you," which is grosser.

231. It's like it's not already humiliating I'm gonna hit you.

232. Now, I'm gonna show your penis, which is embarrassing,

233. and that's a great punishment right there

234. that a normal person gives a young child.

235. - So what does it say on there?

236. - So it says that you would come in.

237. I said something about it,

238. and you went all hell at all right.

239. For like 45 minutes, we're like, "Norm".

240. He goes, "Well, you know, kids."

241. And I'm like...

242. So, then, he goes, "I'm just kiddin'"

243. Then he goes off on an hour dissertation

244. that was so articulate and so eloquent that it was said,

245. what I felt, better than I could say it.

246. So, he was just fucking with everybody for 45 minutes.

247. You think that'll never happen again, and it did.

248. A month later something came up in politics.

249. You just throw stuff out there, you get everyone worked up,

250. and then you go, "No, no, no."

251. - I'm a provokateur.

252. - Oh, is that it, is that what...

253. - What else you got in your paper?

254. - The one thing I wrote, I go,

255. "The most painful thing in the world for me is..."

256. And then I realized that it's so true.

257. - Yeah.

258. - One of the most, not physical pain, but just mental pain

259. is waiting to talk.

260. And that's what I was doing out there.

261. You know, you're outside there.

262. They're talking, but you're waiting to talk.

263. - That's not all you were doin' outside.

264. - You know, I think you tricked me.

265. You tricked me.

266. This is so embarrassing for you,

267. I don't know if I should admit it.

268. - I'll tell you this, a friend of mine—

269. - Oh, you will tell me this,

270. you don't want the truth now.

271. - A friend of mine was a comic,

272. and he'd always get real stoned.

273. - Okay, Norm, Norm.

274. - It's legal, it's legal, it's legal.

275. - I almost don't want to admit this...

276. - No, no, no.

277. - 'Cause it makes him look so bad.

278. He made me smoke pot, America.

279. This is the truth.

280. I don't believe in God, but my truth, my truth.

281. Outside, he goes,

282. "Come on, you'll smoke, you'll smoke, you'll smoke."

283. I'm like, "If you want me to smoke, I'll smoke."

284. I didn't plan on it, 'cause I get chatty.

285. I had a bad experience with getting Doug high.

286. We cross promote.

287. - I meant a cigarette, I meant the vape-er.

288. - No you didn't, no you didn't.

289. Oh, and they gave me pot by accident?

290. - I don't know.

291. - Your producers.

292. - Shadowcause is supposed to give you the vape, the vape-er.

293. - He gave me a little bit of pot,

294. but I didn't want to talk about it

295. because I didn't want that to be the thing.

296. - Pot was in a vape-er?

297. You were supposed to give him vape-er, oh well.

298. - Either way, what's there to matter?

299. - It doesn't matter, it's legal.

300. - Sure, so anyway, then two minutes later, he goes,

301. "Come on, come on, get high."

302. - It's no different than alcohol.

303. - You're trying to plow past it,

304. so I'm gonna get to my point.

305. - Well, I'm tryin' to help ya.

306. - No, no, I'm very on to you right now.

307. Okay, here's what I'm doing,

308. You said, "Smoke, smoke."

309. This is the truth, if whatever word I have,

310. this is the truth.

311. And then about 10 minute, he asked me again,

312. and I'm like, "Well, I don't mind smokin',"

313. I thought in my mind, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

314. And then he goes, "That's all you're smokin'?"

315. So, I took more.

316. Then, we get on here, and he goes, "I smell pot."

317. What, you set me up!

318. - No, I didn't think you'd smoke that much.

319. - You didn't think I'd smoke that much?

320. - But it's funny you wrote those little notes

321. when you were stoned 'cause my friend,

322. he would get stoned, and he would go,

323. "I thought of all these ideas and everything,

324. "but I never write them down."

325. So, he goes, "I'm gonna write them down.

326. "I'm gonna have a little notebook and write down

327. "whatever I think is funny, you know?"

328. And so he said he woke up one day

329. after getting really stoned,

330. and on his pad, he had written, "That's really funny!"

331. Isn't that funny?

332. - That's funny, that's great.

333. That's the bad side of smoking sometimes.

334. - Have you ever had a bad experience before going up

335. where you smoked too much pot, and then you go on stage,

336. and it just did not work out?

337. - And the audience didn't care for it much?

338. - You know, maybe once or twice, I really don't—

339. - One out of every two? - Once or twice.

340. - No, once out of every—

341. - 50%?

342. - Once or twice in my life.

343. - Oh, oh!

344. - I only started smoking pot maybe, I mean on stage.

345. I'm always afraid if you're off a little...

346. People that smoke pot, more than you think,

347. you're always fighting with them and you go,

348. "I only smoke pot four times a week."

349. You're just saying it casually.

350. They're like, "You smoke more than that!"

351. Like relax.

352. What are you afraid I'm not admitting I'm like you?

353. - Four times a week seems like a lot to me.

354. - Does it really?

355. - A little, yeah, but—

356. - Well, it's all relative.

357. - It's all relative.

358. - As long as it's not hurting anybody.

359. - Yeah.

360. As long as it's not hurting anybody,

361. but what about the audience, the stand-up audience?

362. Aren't they the real victims?

363. - I'm laughing, I know why.

364. 'Cause all the sudden, what are we on CNN?

365. It's like I went on to promote my book,

366. and then somebody goes, "Aren't they the victims?

367. "We'll be back."

368. But in there was a very good question.

369. - All I was gonna say is—

370. - I'll answer it.

371. - All I was gonna say is if you happen to have a bad set,

372. they will blame it on the marijuana

373. when you might have had a bad set without it.

374. I've seen you have bad sets with marijuana,

375. without marijuana.

376. - How dare you?

377. When did you see, what night are you talking about?

378. - Huh?

379. - Um, let me answer your question, I don't think,

380. I really do believe this—

381. - At the Tempe Improv, there was a secondary room.

382. - Let me answer your first question.

383. - I just wanna tell ya.

384. - Okay.

385. - There was that secondary room.

386. - The George Carlin room.

387. - That he, yeah, you told me about it.

388. - That I created.

389. I love that room!

390. - Yeah, but he said you fuckin' bombed almost every night.

391. - Well, I...

392. - That's what this guy said.

393. I said I've never seen...

394. - I, I, alright—

395. - That's not true, that's horseshit.

396. - I didn't say every night.

397. - This guy, believe me this person exists which I love.

398. - I just want to go on record.

399. - I know now, but this guy tells me you're...

400. I have a friend, I have to tell him not to say anything.

401. I take nothing for granted that he won't repeat it.

402. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

403. - This is sort of who you're doing as a character.

404. - Yeah.

405. - So I have to say something like,

406. "Yeah, I met blah, blah, blah's girlfriend,

407. "She wore like a shit-ton of makeup,"

408. and then I have to go, "and don't repeat that to her."

409. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

410. - Because he will.

411. Why would you repeat that?

412. - But that's insinuating...

413. - You know a guy like that is Tom Arnold.

414. Whatever you tell him, he will then bring up

415. in front of everybody, you know?

416. - Let me go answer your last question

417. 'cause I'm very much staying on track here.

418. - That's what this is about.

419. - Well, it's, yeah—

420. - Answerin' questions.

421. That's really all it is.

422. - That is all it is.

423. Don't stop doing this again.

424. I know I'm interrupting this interview.

425. This is great for you, this vehicle.

426. Treat it real.

427. Don't go, "I'm gonna take six months off."

428. You fuckin' do this right, okay?

429. - I took six months off so we could do a bit.

430. - I don't even know how I figured out

431. what you're talking about 'cause you must've shot something

432. wherever you've been in that six months.

433. Now, you're trying to claim that was for the bit.

434. - It was for the bit.

435. - He built an ark.

436. - I built an ark, that was the idea.

437. It didn't work.

438. - Do you have footage of it, by any chance?

439. - You don't get that six months back.

440. - What'd you do in the six months?

441. - The real thing?

442. - Yeah.

443. - Actually. - What did you do

444. in that six months?

445. - I wrote a book.

446. - But you could have been doin' this too.

447. - No. - Maybe not.

448. - I tried, I tried to write my book

449. while I did stand-up and this,

450. and it was impossible.

451. So, you know what I did?

452. I went to—

453. - What if HBO had given you this show?

454. You'd do both, and this is better than HBO

455. because you get to do exactly what you fuckin' want, so...

456. - Let me tell you something. - How are you—

457. - They asked me to talk to you about this,

458. the producers, they're fed up with ya.

459. - They're fed up, and they said, "Todd, you're a friend.

460. "Let's book it.

461. "There's no cameras rolling.

462. "This is an intervention."

463. - It's Rickles.

464. - I know.

465. - I'm impressed.

466. - I was just getting ready to say that.

467. Rickles in the faith, you know what my favorite thing

468. about Rickles is?

469. Is the word ig-den-tay-shun, when you act insulted.

470. How dare you?

471. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

472. - Someone pointed out that's what he's great at,

473. and then after they pointed it out,

474. I'm watching a video,

475. and someone goes, "Now did you pay to go to school,

476. "Or did you get a diploma?"

477. Fine question.

478. He goes, "What're you, a dumbbell?"

479. He goes, "Of course I paid.

480. "What do you think I just walk in,

481. "I start doin' some soft-shoe and they say welcome in?

482. "Read the questions, don't be a dumbbell.

483. "I never liked a dumbbell."

484. Now, I can't get that out of my head,

485. "I never liked a dumbbell."

486. Don't be a dumbbell.

487. I never liked a dumbbell.

488. Some people like dumbbells, some people don't.

489. Anyway, so, now back with the question.

490. - Well we're talking about a book

491. because I'm writing a book,

492. and I want to talk about your book.

493. What's it called, by the way?

494. - It's called, by the way—

495. - Show it to the camera?

496. - Yeah, it's called The Todd Glass Situation.

497. I literally have a book.

498. It's very exciting.

499. - It is exciting.

500. - And this is with Simon and Schuster, so it's no bullshit.

501. - You look like a young Treat Williams.

502. - Oh, I can see that.

503. - Thank you.

504. - You've probably heard that before, I'd imagine.

505. - All the time!

506. - Have you?

507. - You can't say that if it's somebody good looking.

508. You know, like you know what I mean?

509. If somebody goes, "You look like..."

510. - You're a gross-looking Treat Williams.

511. - Todd used to do a bit like that.

512. - You're Treat Williams

513. if he was the better-looking brother

514. and you're the uglier brother.

515. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

516. - That's what they're saying.

517. - Todd had a bit about that.

518. - I did.

519. - About Treat Williams?

520. - No, John Goodman.

521. - No, people, I had a wish-I-could bit.

522. - I remember that bit, yeah, yeah.

523. - Yeah, I don't have to repeat it here.

524. Did I hold that up long enough?

525. - It's called The Todd Glass Situation.

526. Advance uncorrected proofs not for sale.

527. - Yeah, that's the name of it. - What?

528. - I thought that was good.

529. - A bunch of lies about my personal life.

530. - Keep showing us.

531. - I forget the subtitle.

532. - A bunch of lies about my personal life

533. and a bunch of true stories about my 30 year career

534. in stand-up comedy.

535. That's almost unbelieveable.

536. - It is, isn't it crazy?

537. - A bit of a prodigy, weren't you?

538. - Sometimes, when I think about it, it's like,

539. "30 years, shit!"

540. - And how old were you?

541. - I start minus-ing years off.

542. - When you were a kid, a teenager?

543. - I started in high school.

544. - Goodness gracious.

545. - Wow.

546. - I mean, obviously, I didn't get paid, but that's...

547. - Yeah, still.

548. - I count when I started by if I went up every week.

549. - Yeah.

550. - It's not like I went up once

551. and then went up eight months later.

552. - Where did you go?

553. - I went up the first open mic night.

554. - You're from New Hampshire.

555. - Went up every week.

556. Exactly, you really do your homework.

557. - Philadelphia, Philadelphia.

558. - Which one do you think it is?

559. - I think it's Philly.

560. - Yeah, it's Philly. - It's Philadelphia.

561. - And you started at the Helium?

562. - No, no, that wasn't there then.

563. - That didn't exist 30 years ago.

564. - I started at a place called—

565. - Were there clubs?

566. - Of course there were.

567. - In Philly, I mean.

568. - Yeah, were there clubs in Philly, yeah.

569. There was, this was 1982, so comedy clubs

570. were becoming a thing, more common in the suburbs

571. than they'd ever been in the entire history of comedy.

572. - Yeah.

573. - And the thing was, there were a lot

574. of great comedians too.

575. I remember going down there—

576. - In Philly?

577. - No, they would come in from New York and L.A.

578. This was a legitimate club - Sure.

579. Teddy Bergeron and Claude Bergeron would show up?

580. Everybody'd be thrilled.

581. - No, we would have, this is '82.

582. Now, they weren't big stars then,

583. but of course I'm remembering the only ones.

584. - Gregg Rogell, Gregg Rogell?

585. - No.

586. - Well, I don't know, who was it?

587. Joe, Joe Bolster?

588. - Let me, let me...

589. Joe Bolster was there, but it was guys

590. like Jerry Seinfeld were comin'.

591. Now, they were already special events.

592. - That's a big star.

593. - They had Jay Leno there.

594. They had Jerry Seinfeld there.

595. They had Gary Shandling.

596. Everybody was there.

597. - Those are big, big stars.

598. - Was Barry Sobel there?

599. - Richard Lewis.

600. - Big stars.

601. - Why is there a joke that I don't understand?

602. - No, I'm saying they were giant stars.

603. - Well, they weren't as big then.

604. Like, Paul Reiser had just got done...

605. I remember 'cause I was coming to see the shows too.

606. - Yeah.

607. - He had just done Diner, so that was in his intro.

608. Like, "Hey, you know!"

609. I think we had seen him in Diner,

610. but that was like a big deal and now he's here performing.

611. - Did you ever go on the road?

612. I used to go on the road and people would make up...

613. - Shows?

614. - Yeah, credits.

615. - By making up shows.

616. He was on Uncle...

617. - No, they wouldn't make up shows.

618. They would pretend they were on the Dina Shore Show or—

619. - Oh, I did that sometimes.

620. - Did ya?

621. - Oh, sure, you have to get the crowd's attention.

622. You know what I used to do

623. when they were a really tough crowd?

624. - You pretended you were on the Dina Shore Show?

625. - No, shows like it that were more relevant.

626. I don't think I was doing comedy when Dina Shore was on.

627. - Really, probably on Nightbeat with David Brenner.

628. - No, "How ya doin, you wanna hear something more?"

629. - Bill Boggs you worked with a lot.

630. Tell me about Bill Boggs.

631. - Are you trying to mess with my head a little?

632. - No, I'm asking you to tell me about Bill Boggs.

633. - This is the normal you.

634. - I find Bill Boggs fascinating.

635. Tell us about him.

636. - I don't know who that is.

637. - Tell us about Bill Boggs.

638. - I have no idea what you're talking about.

639. - Who's Bill Boggs?

640. Are you serious?

641. - Yes, I'm very serious.

642. - I have no idea.

643. I'm being very honest with you.

644. Why would I lie?

645. - Wade's brother?

646. I don't know who Bill Boggs is.

647. - Are you serious?

648. - Yes, I am.

649. - Look into my eyes.

650. - I'm serious, I'm really serious.

651. - No, I don't know who Bill Boggs is.

652. The name sounds familiar.

653. Oh, shut up.

654. What are the odds smoke came billowing out of my mouth

655. after half an hour.

656. Really think your audience is that dumb.

657. They're gonna sit at home and go,

658. "Oh my God, Todd Glass, half an hour into his interview,

659. "smoke came billowing out of his mouth."

660. So most people just consider that you're insane

661. when you do that.

662. That's all that showed about you,

663. not that I'm a stoner, but you're insane.

664. - I asked my—

665. - What happened that made you do that?

666. I won't continue this interview

667. until I wanna know what just happened there.

668. Did you choke?

669. Didn't you try to make it look

670. like it was smoke comin' out of my mouth?

671. - We're gonna add that in post.

672. - I smelled something, I'm honest.

673. - No you didn't.

674. Thanks for bein' honest.

675. - I'm honest.

676. - That's what I like about you.

677. You'll fuck with people, but you're also very honest.

678. - We have a question 'cause on the way here...

679. - Sure.

680. - I asked my Twitter followers

681. if they had any questions for you.

682. An enormous amount of questions came in.

683. This from TotesMagotesTwo.

684. - I don't want you to read if they're negative.

685. - No, of course not.

686. - Okay.

687. - Did you write your book,

688. this is kind of an interesting question,

689. did you write your book in order?

690. Start to finish?

691. - Should I answer that seriously?

692. - Yes.

693. - 'Cause you know what I learned?

694. I learned, and I'm gonna say this,

695. and then I will forget it,

696. I will move on as a comedian,

697. but I learned, you know when you do radio interviews,

698. and they go, "How'd you start in comedy?"

699. Someone tells you early in your career,

700. they just ask that, don't explain it.

701. 'Cause if it's the only thing you're passionate about,

702. it won't be funny.

703. Just get in the jokes.

704. You don't have to do joke jokes,

705. but get into some funny dialogue with the guys.

706. How'd you start in comedy?

707. Morph out of it, so I don't want to get caught now, but...

708. - This is not Mark Maron, but you don't have to be funny

709. at this particular moment

710. because this is an interesting question.

711. - So, I wrote it, I said—

712. - This is also interesting for me

713. because I'm writing a book.

714. - Alex, my manager, had asked me,

715. "Would you ever write a book?"

716. Or some other client was writing a book,

717. and I remember just going like a month before that,

718. "I could never do that."

719. - Yeah.

720. - I would never be able to do that.

721. - And you were talked into it by Howard Lapides,

722. your manager.

723. Is that what you're sayin'?

724. Who talked you into writing the book?

725. - I was talking, well I have very...

726. I don't want to make it look like I was talked into it.

727. It's like pumping myself up.

728. They asked, I said, "yes."

729. - Okay.

730. - That's how that happened, but—

731. - The publishers asked.

732. - Yeah, yeah, well middle person asked.

733. - Lapides?

734. - No, a middle, a book broker.

735. - I didn't know there was such a thing.

736. A book broker?

737. - I guess he hires the ghostwriter.

738. - A book broker, it sounds like a car.

739. Book Broker.

740. - Book Broker.

741. I couldn't think of anything.

742. - You can do it.

743. - So, anyway—

744. - You can do it, Book Broker,

745. and then you go,

746. and you open the thing and what do you read?

747. - It's hard to think of anything.

748. - Yeah, for book broker, we used to try that,

749. but book broker's tough.

750. Why don't you do one?

751. - So, I finished my, finish it here, if I should.

752. - Yeah, no, you should.

753. - 'Cause I don't want people at home to go,

754. "Yeah, I'm havin' a good time, but man, finish it."

755. I take full responsibility. - Nah, people will go—

756. - Well, they love you.

757. They'll blame me.

758. - People don't know.

759. - So, so, so...

760. - Just me and you know.

761. - So I ...

762. - And this guy knows, I think.

763. - So, I wrote—

764. - I think this guy can smell it, but...

765. - So I wrote...

766. So I wrote it, he wrote up, we sat down,

767. and I just started talking

768. because I had a ghostwriter,

769. but I wrote the book.

770. I want to give him credit because he was amazing.

771. - He was a typist.

772. - Yeah, his name is Johnathon Grotstein,

773. and he was the ghostwriter.

774. He was great.

775. - Yeah.

776. - You know, I was nervous.

777. I would just sit and talk and talk and talk and talk

778. and talk and talk which is sort of therapeutic.

779. I'm not gonna act like that part of it was hard.

780. - Yeah.

781. - You know, you start tellin' your whole life story,

782. and things you don't think are interesting,

783. he pulls out of you.

784. Sometimes, you genuinely go,

785. "Oh, I didn't even realize that was a cool story,"

786. just cause it's your, no,

787. and then everything makes sense.

788. In a weird way, it's a lot of therapy.

789. 'Cause I don't like to over-ther-a-pize things,

790. but I think if it's legitimate and it's real,

791. and some of my life, the pieces of the puzzle,

792. oh, that's why I fuckin' do that.

793. - You're talkin' 'bout a psychiatrist.

794. - Well, indirectly.

795. - Therapy.

796. - In writing it, everything makes sense, so the thing—

797. - Therapy means going to a psychiatrist.

798. - Either.

799. - Let's not mince words.

800. I didn't mean to say mince.

801. - No, you shouldn't.

802. - By the way, Dan Mince wanted me to mention his name.

803. - So, I wrote it, sort of we told it my life story in order,

804. and then we went back, and we did it.

805. And I even had somebody work with me, Daniel Kinno,

806. which I paid out of my pocket.

807. It was hard. - I know Daniel.

808. He's a funny guy.

809. - It was great, but it's in my words.

810. He would come back to me with things.

811. I would leave tons of voice messages for him,

812. and then he would read it back to me,

813. and if I thought I liked it.

814. Sometimes what was cool about it,

815. it was better than I could have said it.

816. Those were when I was happy.

817. I was like, "Fuck, that's good!"

818. - We gotta take a break, Todd,

819. but when we return, Todd Glass will read from his book.

820. - No, I won't.

821. - Stoned out of his fuckin' mind.

822. We'll be back.

823. - So, I wrote the book in the,

824. no, I'm just kidding.

825. - Todd Glass was just looking at his watch

826. and asking people what time it was.

827. - You know who you are?

828. You're like that friend I was talkin' about.

829. - I bet that your watch probably looks

830. like fuckin' Salvador Dali fucking painting to you.

831. You're so fuckin' stoned.

832. - It's okay, it's legal.

833. - Exactly.

834. Matter of fact, I couldn't explain it better myself.

835. I kept looking at my watch, and it was like all weird,

836. and I'm like, "What does this look like?"

837. Then, when you go, "Salvador Dali,"

838. I go, "Thank you!"

839. - Oh, God.

840. - One person knows what was in my head.

841. - We have a question.

842. - Sure, I'm gonna answer

843. these questions very seriously.

844. - Well, I don't know, this, I don't know

845. if I should even say this.

846. This might be negative.

847. It's sort of funny to me.

848. - Well, I can understand.

849. - You wanna hear it?

850. - Yeah, why not?

851. - From BoozinandSnoozin97, now you famously came out

852. on the Mark Maron podcast, the WTF, right?

853. - Yes.

854. - And you have no regrets about that.

855. - Absolutely not, I can't believe

856. I don't have any regrets, but yeah,

857. two years later, it's fine.

858. - Two years?

859. So, this question, your boyfriend, is he funny?

860. Or is he like your Scott Thorson?

861. - Who's that?

862. - Liberace's lover.

863. - It's not the question,

864. it's these people they're comparing me to.

865. No, no.

866. - I just saw Liberace's car in Vegas.

867. I was just in Vegas.

868. - What was it?

869. - It was like a super-cool car like a what do you call it?

870. A Rolls Royce?

871. - You know what?

872. I'm gonna interrupt you and go back to this letter.

873. - Okay, okay.

874. - I figured out why it annoyed me.

875. - Scott Thorson, did it annoy you?

876. - No, no, let me see it.

877. I want to hold it.

878. It didn't annoy me, but I think it's very interesting,

879. and there's gonna be two answers to this.

880. Some people are gonna go, "Todd's right."

881. And by the way, I'm not even sure I'm right.

882. Do they really want to know

883. if the person I was with was funny?

884. - Yeah, I think they wanted—

885. - Or was it his way to just compare me to Liberace

886. and mention that?

887. - No, no, no, I think he wanted to know.

888. - Why the fuck would he want to know that?

889. Who's sitting home going, "I wonder if they guy he dated

890. "which he never talked about, nobody knows, is funny."

891. You might go, 'cause he wants

892. to know the dynamic in relationships.

893. Does it help if somebody's funny?

894. Give me credit.

895. No, no, no, no, I'm still not done.

896. It's an insult.

897. Of course I don't have fuckin' somebody like that.

898. So, it's him trying to be funny,

899. and I know I'm high and right,

900. and that should be the segue right now.

901. - No, but—

902. - I am high and I'm right and I will shut up in a second.

903. - I think he tried to be funny in the second part,

904. but the first part, he was serious.

905. Is your boyfriend funny or not?

906. - Oh, with the—

907. - Then he was trying to be funny.

908. - Isn't it funny how I should have

909. let you talk earlier 'cause that makes a lot of sense?

910. - You tried though, nice try though.

911. He's asking you a serious question.

912. Is he funny or are you the funny guy?

913. - He just did the same thing he always does.

914. - Yeah, they're both—

915. - Is he funny?

916. - We're both funny.

917. - Oh, so you're both funny?

918. - Yes.

919. - But you're obviously much funnier.

920. - Obviously, he couldn't bring it to the stage,

921. but off-stage, no, just fucking pound,

922. would make me laugh like I laugh at Eddie Pepitone

923. or Andy Kindler or you, seriously.

924. - Yeah, this question Random311Gee.

925. Do you advise other high school kids to try stand-up?

926. - You know something, first of all—

927. - You know when people come up to you and go,

928. "How do you get in stand-up?"

929. And I always go, "Just go on stage and do it."

930. - Yeah, here's what I tell people.

931. I don't know if I can say this about acting.

932. - Yeah.

933. - But when I'm talking to somebody younger

934. that I think is funny,

935. for some reason whenever you see someone of the town

936. and they're funny, maybe they're hostin' the show,

937. but you really think they're funny.

938. It just ends up where I want

939. to give 'em a little bit of a kick.

940. Like if they need or if they're goin',

941. "Well, I'm goin' to school two nights a week."

942. Dude, do fuckin' comedy, right?

943. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

944. - And I was talkin' to somebody about this weekend

945. when I was in Toronto that sometimes you're dealing

946. with people that you're talking comedy about,

947. they're so young that they still have their parents.

948. And they want to know what you're gonna fall back on,

949. and I was saying, "You know why your parents want you

950. "to fall back on it, 'cause they think it's stand-up.

951. "They don't understand that you might make...

952. "No one might know you, but you can make $500,000 a year,

953. "a million dollars a year and not be a household name."

954. They don't know there's those in betweens.

955. They just think—

956. - I didn't know that either.

957. - Well, we know guys in this business that are depressed

958. that make $500,000 a year because they want more

959. or 250 grand.

960. - Russell Peters makes millions.

961. - Do you all know what I'm talkin' about?

962. - Everybody knows Russell Peters.

963. - No.

964. - I mean, I know a comedian...

965. Look, people are gonna figure out who it is,

966. but I feel better not saying.

967. No, you know what, I'm not going to say it.

968. I know comedians that do—

969. - Jimmy Dore.

970. - You don't know people, I'll ask how a comedian is.

971. You'll understand my point in a second,

972. and I'll say to somebody,

973. "Hey, whatever happened to that comic?"

974. They're like, "Oh, they're the show runner on that show."

975. Or, "the head writer."

976. - Oh, sure.

977. - They might not have been stand-up,

978. - Yes, yes, yes.

979. - Or, they're a stand-up and they

980. have their following and they're makin'

981. like $200,000 a year.

982. They don't realize that there's those in betweens.

983. The parents don't.

984. - I see, the young kid, you're talking about this

985. young 17 year old that you're smoking weed with.

986. - He doesn't give a shit about it.

987. It's his parents that are looking into the future,

988. and they're saying, "What is your backup plan?"

989. I will get to my thing right here.

990. What's your backup plan?

991. They're always goin', "Well, if you're gonna do comedy,

992. "you need a backup, so go to school.

993. "Get your finance."

994. - Yeah

995. - You won't need a backup plan.

996. - No backup.

997. - What's your backup plan to be if you're going

998. to be an accountant or a doctor?

999. Your parents never say that then.

1000. - That's true.

1001. - If you're gonna be something they want you to be

1002. or a normal sort of situation, a normal job,

1003. they don't ever go, "Oh, you're gonna go to dental school,

1004. "what's your backup?"

1005. - Your backup plan.

1006. - Say, "There won't be a fucking backup.

1007. "I'm gonna be a goddamn dentist."

1008. - Exactly.

1009. - So, that's what I say

1010. if you wanna be an actor or comedian.

1011. - I like that.

1012. - My backup plan was always to be a failure.

1013. - Well, there you go.

1014. - And it's worked out.

1015. - You're probably one of those guys

1016. making pretty good money and depressed.

1017. - I'm not depressed, no.

1018. - Well, I'm glad to hear that.

1019. - I feel that—

1020. - I don't mean depressed, I mean, you know not—

1021. - I feel very lucky even when I get...

1022. Like I got, whatever,

1023. but I think I lost a lot of money somehow.

1024. - What do you mean?

1025. In a bucket, or?

1026. - No, anyways.

1027. - No, no, tell me what you mean.

1028. - I was stolen from.

1029. Anyways.

1030. - You know what, I feel bad.

1031. - But I do feel lucky because I always think

1032. that I would take it if I was asked 30 years ago,

1033. "Do you wanna be here at this place in your life?"

1034. I would go, "Yes, of course."

1035. I would do it, you know?

1036. - Right.

1037. - Wouldn't you?

1038. - Doing this podcast?

1039. - In high school, if they told you this is

1040. where you'll be in 30 years, you'd go,

1041. "Goddamn, I'll take that."

1042. - Yeah, well, there's nothing worse

1043. than being positive that's not honest.

1044. Yes, I get jealous, and I want more, obviously.

1045. But, yes, I am able to ask that question and go, "Yes!"

1046. Are you shitting me, of course I would.

1047. - But also, what about when you're jealous?

1048. You know, every comic, I think,

1049. thinks they want a talk show.

1050. You know what I'm saying?

1051. - I know I don't.

1052. - You know you don't.

1053. That's.

1054. - This type of thing.

1055. - You're in good shape, then.

1056. - First of all, that's hard.

1057. - Oh my God.

1058. - When I look at guys whether you like them or not—

1059. - Unanswered prayers.

1060. Am I right?

1061. - What do you mean?

1062. - What's better than unanswered prayers?

1063. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

1064. You know what it is, having to interview people

1065. that you know...

1066. Unanswered Prayers is a song and it says

1067. don't, don't, some prayers—

1068. - You don't care about interviewing.

1069. Especially a guy like David Letterman.

1070. I'm astonished at how good he is

1071. at interviewing people you know he has probably,

1072. contempt for.

1073. - Well, later in his career, probably less.

1074. - Yeah.

1075. - So, that's the easier part when later in your career,

1076. you're at least getting A celebrities,

1077. not that they can't be boring.

1078. But what about...

1079. When early on, you got, that's hard.

1080. I look at what they do, and you know what else?

1081. I'll even give a few of the late night guys a lot of credit.

1082. And we don't have to say who you like and who I don't like,

1083. but overall, there's a lot of people that took, right now,

1084. that took that format that was, "What the fuck are you gonna

1085. "do with that format?"

1086. And Letterman freshened it up 30 years ago.

1087. - Yeah.

1088. - And you're like, "Fuckin' that was amazing."

1089. - Can't they just change it?

1090. Who made it up?

1091. - I think some guys have done that.

1092. - Who made it up?

1093. Steve Allen?

1094. - What I'm saying is I think even the old format,

1095. some guys were doing—

1096. - Who made up a desk and a chair?

1097. Sounds like it'd be an interview, a job interview

1098. or some fuckin' thing.

1099. Who thought that was a good idea?

1100. - The coldness of it, you mean?

1101. - Yeah, why did everybody do that?

1102. Who made it up?

1103. Steve Allen?

1104. - I never really thought about that.

1105. - Who made it up?

1106. - Well, the desk was...

1107. - Well, what other...

1108. - Does anybody here know?

1109. You know what you should do?

1110. YouTube it. - Steve O'Donnell.

1111. - And then put it under a lathe.

1112. - Steve O'Donnell might know.

1113. - They don't give...

1114. - Steve O'Donnell might know.

1115. You wanna ask him?

1116. - Steve O'Donnell?

1117. Oh, yeah, I bet he would know.

1118. - I'd say Steve Allen, Jack Parr.

1119. - Steve Allen, that's what I said.

1120. - That's what I thought.

1121. - But I said that.

1122. - It certainly was years and years of...

1123. - I said it, and then fuckin' three minutes later

1124. through his fuckin' marijuana fuckin' haze,

1125. he fuckin' thought he thought of it.

1126. Whatever.

1127. - He thought of it?

1128. - Yeah, him.

1129. - Yeah, I know.

1130. But hold on, so you're saying...

1131. - He is the fuckin' guy that's stoned.

1132. - Everybody is, apparently, to you.

1133. I'm not anymore, by the way,

1134. if it makes you feel any better,

1135. so joke's over, Norm.

1136. I'm 100% and I'm ready to go.

1137. - Excellent!

1138. - I just fell out of it.

1139. - Excellent!

1140. - I'm sorta serious.

1141. - Hey, here's a question.

1142. - Sorta feelin' okay now.

1143. - I think I know what one person you're gonna say,

1144. but BlogginMama32 says, "What comics do you love?"

1145. And I think that we have the same favorite comic, don't we?

1146. - Well, there's a lot of comics that I—

1147. - Fuck Prior and Carlin and all that horseshit.

1148. - No, no, we're talkin' about in the camp.

1149. - Actual comics.

1150. - I think we're both going to the same camp right now,

1151. I think.

1152. There's a lot of comics that I think

1153. are just awesome comics, but here's where I don't...

1154. Who makes me punch the wall?

1155. Because you can't make that up.

1156. You can't overanalyze.

1157. You don't have to sit around and go,

1158. "Well, yeah, do they make it on the list?"

1159. It's that you know who makes you punch a wall.

1160. That doesn't mean if they don't make you punch a wall,

1161. they're not fuckin' great.

1162. They just don't make you punch a wall,

1163. and no exaggerating, 100% not me.

1164. Eddie Pepitone makes me literally where I'm like

1165. fuckin' punchin' the wall.

1166. I'll go back.

1167. Kevin Meaney was one of the first guys.

1168. - Yes. - Kevin was great.

1169. - Big Pants People!

1170. - To this day.

1171. - We're not big pants people.

1172. - It was the fuckin' funniest thing on this planet.

1173. You should know who Kevin Meaney is

1174. because either I know nothing or he makes it

1175. into a small list of people that I remember literally

1176. like when people say, "Oh, my face hurts."

1177. You just think they meant, "Oh, I get what you mean."

1178. No, my face would hurt from watching Kevin Meaney perform.

1179. And guys like Brian Regan can do that.

1180. - Yes, that's what I was thinkin'.

1181. - And Andy Kindler on a, just on a good...

1182. - Brian Regan though—

1183. - Some are less than others.

1184. I don't want to say which.

1185. - Wouldn't you put Brian Regan right at the top?

1186. Of the punch the wall guys consistently?

1187. - Isn't this a dangerous area?

1188. Because if they're in there, why tell you where they are?

1189. But Eddie Pepitone's the top.

1190. - Oh, he is, Eddie?

1191. - Eddie's the, geez it's hard, they're all in there.

1192. You know what?

1193. No bullshit.

1194. - Well, it's different.

1195. Eddie's probably the funniest improviser,

1196. just off the top of his head, right?

1197. Whereas Brian's bits.

1198. - They both do it in that way for me.

1199. - Eddie's so consistent, yeah.

1200. - It is stupid, even comedically to try to say who's where

1201. 'cause it's sort of-, I don't know.

1202. - And Todd Glass.

1203. - Well, I don't include myself.

1204. - You make me punch the wall.

1205. - What about when you were younger?

1206. You know, like some of the old guys?

1207. - Like who would make it?

1208. - Like your Eddie Pepitone of that era.

1209. - I remember to go see, I remember me and my friends.

1210. You know I figured something out.

1211. I think me and Doug Benson talked about this.

1212. Some comedy, this leads to one of those comics.

1213. Well, here's what happens.

1214. Comedy can be not your thing,

1215. and you can leave a club not mad at the headliner.

1216. You just go, "That wasn't our thing."

1217. But then there becomes something that's so unique.

1218. I figured out why it makes the audience mad

1219. because they're sitting there going, "You're not trying.

1220. "This isn't what you think is funny."

1221. Does this make sense?

1222. And they're mad at you?

1223. - A family man sends to Doug Benson is my guess.

1224. - No, no, I don't understand.

1225. We were having a conversation about stand-up.

1226. Hold on, am I lost here?

1227. Go ahead, go.

1228. - Now it sounds, not to sound like,

1229. it just sounds like a stoner conversation.

1230. I'm not stoned like Doug Benson,

1231. so I'm trying to figure it out.

1232. - I know I'm making sense,

1233. and I'm going to re-watch this, Norm.

1234. - Did it make sense to you?

1235. - I've blanked it out.

1236. - Hold on.

1237. - But I saw.

1238. - We were talking about, no, no, no, no.

1239. I watch these things.

1240. And then sometimes, I always think I'm wrong.

1241. You could be wrong.

1242. - That's true.

1243. - Okay, so let me get this out.

1244. Norm, I go long-winded, and when I get three seconds

1245. for making my point, that's when I get lost.

1246. - Sure.

1247. - That's when I get, if you come in right there,

1248. I'm like, "Aw, that was all set up.

1249. "I was three seconds from delivering people that were"...

1250. Oh, you asked me what were those comics

1251. back in Philadelphia.

1252. - Yes.

1253. - As I was just mentioning.

1254. - And of course, David Brenner was the biggest comic

1255. ever to come out of Philadelphia.

1256. - Again, I'm—

1257. - He just passed away, and we should talk about him.

1258. - Yeah, we should, but let me finish this sentence—

1259. - And John Pinette.

1260. - And I don't think David Brenner would mind

1261. if he's watching.`

1262. - Okay, sure, sure.

1263. - You think you're gonna pull that one on me?

1264. - Yeah, yeah.

1265. - Let's talk about David Brenner.

1266. Todd will never be able to derail this.

1267. - He's probably watching from,

1268. actually probably, from down below,

1269. gettin' raped by the devil.

1270. I mean, that guy had some sins that he died with,

1271. but whatever.

1272. - What are you talking about?

1273. - No, I'm just saying.

1274. Didn't Brenner lived a life where Sodom and Gomorrah

1275. seem like Burbank and—

1276. - No, first of all, there's things I say negative

1277. about people.

1278. - Jesus!

1279. - I don't want to make it look like I'm all positive,

1280. but I, I'm in, David Brenner, he just...

1281. So I know you're kidding.

1282. - One of the greatest observational comics ever.

1283. - He started that whole thing.

1284. - Yeah, no, I'm saying in real life.

1285. - Oh, he had some big ones.

1286. - He wore big fur coats.

1287. - He did?

1288. - And he had a lot of ladies.

1289. - He was like Liberace.

1290. - No.

1291. - I wonder who was funnier,

1292. his partner or him?

1293. - Come on, come on.

1294. He was highly promiscuous with ladies.

1295. - I didn't know that.

1296. - But that gets you into hell?

1297. - What, are you an angel?

1298. - Promiscuous gets you a ticket to hell?

1299. - Who knows what you're doin'?

1300. - Huh?

1301. - Huh? What?

1302. Let me, so—

1303. - Let me ask you something.

1304. Let me tell you something.

1305. I may never get to heaven,

1306. but I've walked down the 18th green of Augusta

1307. on a Sunday, my friend.

1308. How would you describe your comedy?

1309. Tell the folks at home.

1310. - Why would you ask me the worst question in radio?

1311. To describe my comedy.

1312. - No, tell the folks at home.

1313. - Why don't you describe blue to the audience?

1314. - Because this is what I'm interested in.

1315. I'm interested in if or how self-aware...

1316. Now, obviously, it's hard under your condition.

1317. But I want to find out how self-aware you are

1318. of your own appeal because you're

1319. an extremely appealing comic.

1320. - Well, that's very sweet.

1321. - As well, there was a thing I read about Woody Allen,

1322. and he went on the stage, and a lot of the people

1323. did much better than him.

1324. And he was upset, and his manager said, "No, no.

1325. "It's what you leave on the stage."

1326. That was his remark upon Woody Allen.

1327. And so, I always thought that a guy like Andrew Dice Clay

1328. would destroy and have me hitting the wall as you say.

1329. But then, afterwards, maybe you'd feel a little queasy,

1330. whereas you kill, and then you leave something nice

1331. on the stage.

1332. You know, it's one thing to make people laugh.

1333. It's another to make people smile.

1334. - Wow.

1335. - So why don't you tell the folks at home.

1336. - That was nice, I didn't not say anything.

1337. I thought it just deserved to lay there

1338. and just have it's moment.

1339. - Well, I like you.

1340. - I think that was actually nice.

1341. - I like ya.

1342. What would you say to folks at home?

1343. How would you describe yourself?

1344. - I wouldn't describe myself, but I do like

1345. to talk about this, and I'm curious what you think,

1346. so it sort of describes indirectly, maybe, what you asked.

1347. - Yes.

1348. - My ears just popped.

1349. I really do, I watch old—

1350. - I don't want to say the guy's high,

1351. but his ears just popped.

1352. Anyway.

1353. - Why do I get so much joy out of that?

1354. It's so over the top.

1355. - Oh, Oh my God.

1356. - So your saying it's happening indirectly.

1357. - And we're gonna answer that comedian in Philadelphia too.

1358. - Yes, yes.

1359. - Thank God.

1360. - The crowd's going to be very impressed.

1361. They're gonna be like, "You know, they went all

1362. "over the place, but they always came back to the"...

1363. - They came back to who you like when you were young

1364. in Philadelphia.