1. God,
it's been a turbulent few weeks.Copy !req
2. Turbulence can make us
appreciate the stable times, sir.Copy !req
3. But all this business with Helena
is so confusing.Copy !req
4. Her withdrawal from society fills me
with unease.Copy !req
5. What does she see in Neo Yokio
that I can't?Copy !req
6. Take a deep breath, sir.Copy !req
7. Just as this calm pool of water sits
at the center of a chaotic metropolis,Copy !req
8. you, too, have an inner reservoir
of peace and tranquility.Copy !req
9. I like this kind of talk, Charles.Copy !req
10. More vibes, please.Copy !req
11. Remember, sir, it is the ephemeral nature
of things that makes them wonderful.Copy !req
12. If our life did not fade and vanishCopy !req
13. like the dews of Adashino's gravesCopy !req
14. - or the—
Kaz?Copy !req
15. - Is that you?
Cathy?Copy !req
16. What are you doing in Neo Yokio?Copy !req
17. I'm here on business,
the Neo-Deutsch merger.Copy !req
18. - Oh, that sounds like a lovely merger.
- It is.Copy !req
19. So, how long you in town?Copy !req
20. Through next week.
Gonna stay for the Grand Prix.Copy !req
21. But you always hated the Grand Prix,Copy !req
22. all the noise
and idiots swarming the city.Copy !req
23. Well, the thing is, Kaz,
my new boyfriend is racing in it.Copy !req
24. I was not aware you had a new boyfriend.Copy !req
25. - I wanted to tell you about him sooner—
- I'm sorry, Cathy, but I need to leave.Copy !req
26. I'm due at the cemetery.Copy !req
27. Please don't be so dramatic, Kaz.Copy !req
28. Don't flatter yourself.
I have no wish to die.Copy !req
29. - It's my uncle's funeral.
- Uncle Albert?Copy !req
30. Yes, Cathy, he's dead.Copy !req
31. A shipwreck off Montauk.Copy !req
32. What a ridiculous way to go.Copy !req
33. - At least he died doing what he loved.
- Drowning?Copy !req
34. No, sailing!Copy !req
35. They couldn't even find the body.Copy !req
36. He's probably being dragged
around the Atlantic in a tuna net,Copy !req
37. like a dolphin.Copy !req
38. Poor Uncle Albert.Copy !req
39. The family trust is selling
the Hamptons house.Copy !req
40. Where's Cousin Jeffrey gonna live?Copy !req
41. Oh, Cousin Jeffrey didn't show up
to his own father's funeral.Copy !req
42. We have no obligation to that ingrate.Copy !req
43. That side of the family
is so dysfunctional.Copy !req
44. A blemish on our family name,Copy !req
45. which is why I need someone I can trust
to go check on the house.Copy !req
46. Please not me.Copy !req
47. I ran into Cathy this morning,
I'm in no state for an assignment.Copy !req
48. Just go to the house,
make sure it's ready to show.Copy !req
49. Enjoy the ocean breeze.Copy !req
50. You act like I'm sending you
to the gallows or something.Copy !req
51. Well, I guess I haven't had a lobster roll
in a while.Copy !req
52. Perfect. And you'll have first dibs
on Uncle Albert's loafer collection.Copy !req
53. Which swim trunks, sir?Copy !req
54. Hmm, the watermelon stripes.Copy !req
55. - Are you absolutely certain, sir?
- Yes, Charles.Copy !req
56. Do you have a problem
with those swim trunks?Copy !req
57. Of course not, sir.
They are subtle and dignified.Copy !req
58. I just thought you might prefer
the black Alexander Wang trunksCopy !req
59. since you are in mourning for your uncle.Copy !req
60. - Fine. Pack them both.
- Very good, sir.Copy !req
61. A run-in with my ex-girlfriend
and my uncle's funeral the same day?Copy !req
62. Good Lord, I need a drink.Copy !req
63. Shall I prepare you a cocktail, sir?Copy !req
64. We should go
to Lexy and Gottlieb's new bar.Copy !req
65. You know I'm a partial investor.Copy !req
66. I'm sure it will pay dividends, sir.Copy !req
67. Let's swing by on the way to the Hamptons.Copy !req
68. Very good. However, I'll need another hour
to be fully charged for the voyage.Copy !req
69. I'm sure you'll be fine. Let's roll.Copy !req
70. I'll wait out here, sir.Copy !req
71. Hey, Kaz. What's cracking, B?Copy !req
72. Scoot, Grandpa.
We got a partial investor in the building.Copy !req
73. Damn, this place is small.Copy !req
74. - Yeah, but at least it's ours.
- How's business?Copy !req
75. A little tough,
'cause we like to hang out all the time.Copy !req
76. We can't both fit behind the bar,
so that only leaves one chair for patrons.Copy !req
77. Hmm. So, when I'm here,
there are no chairs for patrons?Copy !req
78. Eh, who cares? You want a martini?Copy !req
79. Please.
I really need to take the edge off.Copy !req
80. - You messed up 'cause of that funeral?
- The funeral was sad,Copy !req
81. but something far sadder
happened this morning.Copy !req
82. I ran into Cathy.Copy !req
83. - Yikes.
- What did she say?Copy !req
84. She has... a new boyfriend.Copy !req
85. - Dawg.
- Damn, B, that's the worst.Copy !req
86. - I should get going, guys.
- You just got here, son.Copy !req
87. Agatha wants me to check
on my uncle's house in Amagansett.Copy !req
88. Wait. There's an unoccupied house
in the Hamptons right now?Copy !req
89. - Yeah. It's a pretty sick house, actually.
- Uh, were you planning on inviting us?Copy !req
90. - I thought you needed to run the bar.
- Who cares?Copy !req
91. What's the point of owning a business
if you can't take a vacation?Copy !req
92. We gotta be with our boy
in his time of grief.Copy !req
93. Word.Copy !req
94. Charles, good news. Lexy and Gottlieb
are gonna come with us to the Hamptons.Copy !req
95. I'm pleased for you, sir.Copy !req
96. The Jitney leaves every hour
from East 86th Street.Copy !req
97. Come on, Charles.
Don't make us take the bus.Copy !req
98. The Jitney is no mere bus. It's luxurious.Copy !req
99. It's an artisanal school bus.
I can't be seen on that shit.Copy !req
100. I'm sorry, gentlemen,
I'm not fully charged,Copy !req
101. and the additional weight
will take a toll on my battery.Copy !req
102. You'll charge when we get there.Copy !req
103. Hmm. Very good, sir.Copy !req
104. Charles, put some pep in your step.Copy !req
105. Yo, hold up.
This is your uncle's sick house?Copy !req
106. Yo, this place needs a paint job.Copy !req
107. Don't judge a book
by its cover, Lexy.Copy !req
108. I have wonderful memories
of my summers here when I was a kid.Copy !req
109. Good God.Copy !req
110. This looks like Miss Havisham's house,
dawg.Copy !req
111. - Ugh.Copy !req
112. Ugh. That's nasty.Copy !req
113. Why don't you guys
go check out the pool?Copy !req
114. Charles, start gathering garbage.Copy !req
115. May I have a quick charge first, sir?
That trip was quite taxing.Copy !req
116. Of course. I think
there's a charging station in the shed.Copy !req
117. Uncle Albert, what happened?Copy !req
118. Oh, dear.Copy !req
119. Oh, snap!
Yo, they got the infinity pool!Copy !req
120. It's the closest our mortal minds
will comeCopy !req
121. to comprehending the infinite.Copy !req
122. Cannonball! Yeah!Copy !req
123. Ew! Get out of here!Copy !req
124. Get out of my dead uncle's house!Copy !req
125. Ah! Get off of me!Copy !req
126. Hello, Cousin Jeffrey.Copy !req
127. What up, city bitch?Copy !req
128. Haven't seen you in a long time.Copy !req
129. You could've seen me sooner
if you'd come to your dad's funeral.Copy !req
130. Fuck that and fuck my dad.Copy !req
131. I hate the city. Neo Yokio sucks balls!Copy !req
132. Provincial as ever, I see.Copy !req
133. Fancy words won't hurt me, schmuck.Copy !req
134. You're in my house now.Copy !req
135. Technically, it's not your house.Copy !req
136. It's the family trust's house,
and soon it'll go to the highest bidder.Copy !req
137. Oh, that is bullshit!Copy !req
138. I've been waiting to get the house
for years.Copy !req
139. I'm gonna pimp it out.
It's gonna be so fly.Copy !req
140. Maybe if you used your magic powers
for something more than cleaning pools,Copy !req
141. you'd have enough money
to buy your own house.Copy !req
142. You think you're better than me
'cause you fight demons?Copy !req
143. I'm not ashamed of my water powers.
Water ain't weak, yo.Copy !req
144. I never said it was.Copy !req
145. I love water. Without water,
there'd be no nautical fashion.Copy !req
146. - Damn it! Who let the raccoon out?Copy !req
147. Get back here!Copy !req
148. We're not done yet, Kaz.Copy !req
149. Yo, get your ass back here!Copy !req
150. I can't believe I'm related
to that Hamptons hillbilly.Copy !req
151. - Oh, excuse me, miss.
- It's Lexy, man. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
152. What are you talking about?Copy !req
153. I'm Lexy,
and this big-ass panda is Gottlieb.Copy !req
154. - Something happened when we went swimming.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
155. Stupid Cousin Jeffrey must have done some
of his Hamptons water magic to the pool.Copy !req
156. Yo, this is messed up, man.Copy !req
157. I came to the Hamptons to meet women,
not become one.Copy !req
158. Sir, I'm afraid the charging station
won't work.Copy !req
159. I really need to get into town.Copy !req
160. Charles, focus.
We've got a crisis over here.Copy !req
161. I'm sorry, sir. How can I help?Copy !req
162. Let's go find Jeffrey. He just took off.Copy !req
163. May I suggest
that we get Lexy some clothes first?Copy !req
164. Good idea. This is obscene.Copy !req
165. Gottlieb?Copy !req
166. I guess you're good.Copy !req
167. Man,
why would your cousin curse the pool?Copy !req
168. Who knows? Some people are just bad eggs.Copy !req
169. Yo, Charles, keep up.Copy !req
170. Sir, if you don't mind, I believe there is
a mecha dealership just up the road.Copy !req
171. Perhaps I could run ahead
and inquire about a charger.Copy !req
172. God, Charles,
you really have a one-track mind.Copy !req
173. - Go ahead.
- Thank you, sir.Copy !req
174. All right,
if you were my tasteless cousin,Copy !req
175. where would you be?Copy !req
176. I don't know, the Mountain Dew pavilion?Copy !req
177. Holy moly, look who's in the Hamptons.Copy !req
178. Didn't know Rat Catchers liked the beach.Copy !req
179. I've been coming here
since I was a little kid, dipshit.Copy !req
180. - And who is this vision of femininity?Copy !req
181. Wanna go as my date
to Freddie Miles' party tonight?Copy !req
182. Freddie Miles is having a party?Copy !req
183. Oh, yes. It's the party of the summer.
I don't think you'd wanna come, though.Copy !req
184. - And why not?
- 'Cause a certain Cathy will be there.Copy !req
185. Cathy's in the Hamptons?Copy !req
186. Is she ever. And did you hear?Copy !req
187. She has a new boyfriend,
a race car driver from Giappone.Copy !req
188. Yes, I've heard.Copy !req
189. I'm sure he can go a lot faster
than you ever could.Copy !req
190. - Arcangelo.
- This guy can run laps around you.Copy !req
191. Very funny.Copy !req
192. He's Formula 1 while you're baby formula.Copy !req
193. I know you're trying to make me jealous,
but it won't work.Copy !req
194. Cathy's not the only one that's moved on.Copy !req
195. Yeah, sure. We'll see about that.Copy !req
196. And by the way, Kaz. A panda? Really?Copy !req
197. The new pet wave is cheetahs.
I'm getting mine on Monday.Copy !req
198. Later, skaters. Peace.Copy !req
199. Yo, that was creepy as fuck, son.Copy !req
200. I'm really not enjoying
the male gaze right now,Copy !req
201. so we gotta find your cousin ASAP.Copy !req
202. Or we could wait until tomorrow.Copy !req
203. Might be kind of fun
to hit Freddie Miles' party.Copy !req
204. Yeah, I know it'll be fun,
that's why I wanna go in my own body.Copy !req
205. Would you please come as a girl?
Pretend to be my girlfriend?Copy !req
206. - I don't wanna face Cathy alone.
- Dawg, come on.Copy !req
207. Please, please, please, please, please,
please, please, please?Copy !req
208. Just one more day?Copy !req
209. - Ugh. Fine, I'll do it, for the Rollie.
- Deal!Copy !req
210. I'll miss you, Rollie.Copy !req
211. Now, let's go shopping.
I want you looking hot.Copy !req
212. Come on, Lexy,
what are you doing in there?Copy !req
213. Chill, B. It takes time
to try on all these clothes, man.Copy !req
214. Wow, is that the Alaïa dress?Copy !req
215. Man, I don't know.Copy !req
216. It's cool. It's subtle.Copy !req
217. But is it a showstopper?Copy !req
218. I'm getting sick of this.Copy !req
219. I just want you to look good
for the party.Copy !req
220. Try the Chloé bag.Copy !req
221. Now the Céline.Copy !req
222. Chloé again.Copy !req
223. Now Céline.Copy !req
224. Chloé. Céline.Copy !req
225. Okay, Chloé.Copy !req
226. Wait. Would it be crazy to wear both bags?Copy !req
227. Charles, what do you think?Copy !req
228. I'm afraid I don't know, sir.Copy !req
229. I couldn't find a charging station
in town,Copy !req
230. and I don't have enough energy
to process that question.Copy !req
231. You don't have enough energy to take us
to the party?Copy !req
232. Yes. You'll have to walk, sir.Copy !req
233. Ugh. Fine.Copy !req
234. And if you wouldn't mind
picking me up a temporary battery,Copy !req
235. even a small one,
it'd be a lifesaver, sir.Copy !req
236. Sure, whatever.Copy !req
237. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
238. Freddie Miles throws the sickest parties
on the Island.Copy !req
239. Lexy, remember, don't talk.
You'll give yourself away.Copy !req
240. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
241. Now, be cool. Here comes Arcangelo.Copy !req
242. Mm-mm-mm. How did this trash boy
land a girl like you?Copy !req
243. Still not talking? I can crack this nut.Copy !req
244. Oh, my God, it's Cathy.Copy !req
245. Oh, hello, Kaz.Copy !req
246. I didn't expect to see you
in the Hamptons.Copy !req
247. I could say the same to you.Copy !req
248. I guess we just can't escape
each other today.Copy !req
249. What do you mean, "escape"?Copy !req
250. Looks like these clowns have a lot
to talk about.Copy !req
251. Let's go get you a drink.Copy !req
252. So, what brings you out to the South Fork?Copy !req
253. Last-minute trip. My sister invited me.Copy !req
254. That's cool. That's cool.
I'm here showing my new girlfriend around.Copy !req
255. She's never been to the Hamptons before.Copy !req
256. I didn't realize you had a new girlfriend.
You didn't mention her this morning.Copy !req
257. Yeah, I find it's in bad taste to bring up
stuff like that when you run into an ex.Copy !req
258. Oh. Well, I'm happy for you.Copy !req
259. Her name is Legend.Copy !req
260. She's beautiful.Copy !req
261. And stylish. Her dress is Alaïa.Copy !req
262. Does she have two bags?Copy !req
263. Yeah. Wild, right?Copy !req
264. Too elegant for just one, I guess.Copy !req
265. Seems like you found your dream girl.Copy !req
266. You mysterious angel.Copy !req
267. What you got in those bags?Copy !req
268. Ah.Copy !req
269. Hey, Arcangelo.
- What's up? I'm a little busy over here.Copy !req
270. They're towing your car.Copy !req
271. The 1961 cherry red MGA Roadster?Copy !req
272. - That's the one.
- Blast it all!Copy !req
273. I'll be right back, darling.Copy !req
274. Hi. I'm Matoko.Copy !req
275. So, tell me about this boyfriend of yours.
Where'd you meet?Copy !req
276. Well, he was in San Francisco
to meet his sports agent.Copy !req
277. Sports agent? But he's not an athlete.Copy !req
278. Of course he is.Copy !req
279. An athlete uses their body to run and jump
and swing, like a field hockey player.Copy !req
280. Your boyfriend is a technician,
like a refrigerator repairman.Copy !req
281. All right, Kaz.
Tell me more about your girlfriend.Copy !req
282. Well, as you can see, she's an—Copy !req
283. An idiot! I'll be right back, Cathy.Copy !req
284. What are you doing, you maniac?Copy !req
285. Uh, making out with Matoko Goldberg. Duh.Copy !req
286. - But you're my date.
- You think I'd miss my chanceCopy !req
287. to smash the hottest lesbian
on Long Island?Copy !req
288. Let me make lemonade out of these lemons.
Can I live?Copy !req
289. - Kiss me now.
- Yo, are you crazy?Copy !req
290. Yo, get off me, man!Copy !req
291. Ew!Copy !req
292. Hey, Kaz, it doesn't look like
she wants to be kissed.Copy !req
293. Of course she wants to kiss me.
I'm her boyfriend.Copy !req
294. Isn't that right, honey?Copy !req
295. Can we start over?
I think we got off on the wrong foot.Copy !req
296. Kaz, what is the matter with you?Copy !req
297. Go and talk to your girlfriend.Copy !req
298. Yikes. My plan is severely backfiring.Copy !req
299. - That was messed up, B.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
300. What do you mean, "what do I mean?"
Kissing me.Copy !req
301. Ha. Sorry, Lexy. Just wanted
to kick it up a notch for Cathy.Copy !req
302. I don't care about Cathy. Forget Cathy.
You can't go around making me your prop.Copy !req
303. Dude, I'm just taking advantage
of this temporary transformation.Copy !req
304. - I don't want you kissing me, son!
- Lexy, you sound like a real homophobe.Copy !req
305. Homophobe? No, B.Copy !req
306. I may have this hot female body right now,
but I do not identify as female.Copy !req
307. Even if I did, you still can't kiss me
to make your ex jealous!Copy !req
308. - You're really overreacting. It's funny.
- Funny?Copy !req
309. I'm seeing a side of you
I don't really like.Copy !req
310. I think Cathy's right.
You don't know how to treat women.Copy !req
311. Well, you're not actually a woman.Copy !req
312. First of all, gender is a spectrum,
not a binary.Copy !req
313. And second of all,
I know a misogynist when I see one.Copy !req
314. I am not a misogynist.
Keep your voice down.Copy !req
315. - You got me tight, Kaz.
- Come on.Copy !req
316. Let's just calm down
and go back to the party.Copy !req
317. - You're getting hysterical.
- Hysterical? Man, get out of here!Copy !req
318. Damn, that girl's a firecracker.Copy !req
319. Please tell me she just dumped you.Copy !req
320. Hey, Charles. Rough night.Copy !req
321. Sorry to hear that, sir.Copy !req
322. Did you... happen to pick up
a temporary battery?Copy !req
323. Things were hectic. I'll get one tomorrow.Copy !req
324. Very good, sir.Copy !req
325. - Aah!Copy !req
326. God, where did you come from?Copy !req
327. Ah, there you are!Copy !req
328. - Come on.Copy !req
329. - Come on. Got you.
- Yo, Kaz, what's going on here, son?Copy !req
330. Ooh, damn. Who's the hot chick?Copy !req
331. That's my friend Lexy, you idiot.Copy !req
332. He got transformed into a woman
when he jumped in the infinity pool.Copy !req
333. Yeah. We've been looking all over
for your dumb ass.Copy !req
334. Wait. You guys went in the pool?Copy !req
335. - You need to fix this, you dick.
- All right, all right, chill.Copy !req
336. Check this out. Follow me.Copy !req
337. - All right, yo, hop in.
- That's it?Copy !req
338. Yeah, that's it.
I just put a reversion spell on the pool.Copy !req
339. - Human after all.
- Finally, no more titties.Copy !req
340. Hey, chill out. Oh, hey! No— Aah!Copy !req
341. Come— No!Copy !req
342. Uncle Albert? What's going on here?
You're not dead?Copy !req
343. Of course not.Copy !req
344. My prick of a son turned me
into a disgusting raccoon.Copy !req
345. What? Why would you do that, Jeffrey?Copy !req
346. I needed people to think he was dead
so I could inherit the house.Copy !req
347. He was letting it get all shitty.Copy !req
348. I wanna make it sick like it used to be,
have cookouts with honeys.Copy !req
349. So, you turned him into a filthy animal?Copy !req
350. Yeah, yeah. Pretty smart, right?Copy !req
351. I got the idea a few weeks ago
when I had some of my boys over.Copy !req
352. I was showing off some water magic,
and I tried this new transformation spell.Copy !req
353. Next thing I know,
my dudes turned into butterflies.Copy !req
354. So, I'm running around trying to catch
their bitch asses, and then it hits me,Copy !req
355. I could do this to my dad
and get the house.Copy !req
356. The family trust owns this house,
you idiot.Copy !req
357. - You're never gonna inherit it.
- Yeah, I know that now, Pops.Copy !req
358. Hey, sorry about all this, Kaz.Copy !req
359. Believe you me,
this numb-nuts will be punished.Copy !req
360. I'm just glad you're not dead.
We had a funeral for you in the city.Copy !req
361. Oh, yeah? How was it?Copy !req
362. It was great.
Your gravestone is magnificent.Copy !req
363. Ah, that's good to hear.
Give Agatha a kiss for me.Copy !req
364. Will do.Copy !req
365. - Hey!
- Why can't you be more likeCopy !req
366. your dandy-ass cousin, you banana?Copy !req
367. You're coming with me.Copy !req
368. Ow, my ear!Copy !req
369. It's been a crazy day.
We should just head home.Copy !req
370. Lexy, I'm sorry.
I know I didn't treat you right.Copy !req
371. Yeah, that's your problem.
You don't know how to treat anyone right.Copy !req
372. What's going on?Copy !req
373. I told you I couldn't last this long
without a charge.Copy !req
374. Are you stupid or something?Copy !req
375. - Wait. Are you Charles?
- Do I sound like fucking Charles?Copy !req
376. I'm Sadie, Charles' pilot.Copy !req
377. - Charles has a pilot?
- Yeah, obviously.Copy !req
378. Damn, Kaz. You don't know how mechas work?Copy !req
379. I got him used,
and I never really thought about it.Copy !req
380. The unexamined life is not worth living.Copy !req
381. Well, now the battery's totally kaputCopy !req
382. and we gotta schlep this hunk of junk
back into the city.Copy !req
383. Ugh, shit.
This means we gotta take the Jitney back.Copy !req
384. You know, I kind of miss being a panda.
All that fur felt good, man.Copy !req
385. I miss my beautiful female body,
if we're being real about things.Copy !req
386. What's the difference
between you and Charles?Copy !req
387. When I'm inside, my brainwaves sync up
with Charles' program.Copy !req
388. Everything I say has to be filtered
through Charles' speech center.Copy !req
389. And you see everything that Charles sees?Copy !req
390. Of course.
How else am I gonna control him?Copy !req
391. - So, even when he reads to me in the bath?
Yes, Kazzie. All the time.Copy !req
392. - Hey!
- Hey!Copy !req
393. What's going on?Copy !req
394. Yo!Copy !req