Mythic Quest 2x8

1. Imagine a world

2. built just for you.

3. A world for your exploration. For your adventure.

4. Imagine a world built for you to conquer.

5. Ladies and gentlemen, Jacques and Jean-Luc,

6. may I present to you my half of our next expansion, Zeus.

7. Wow.

8. Thank you.

9. Very impressive, Ian. It's as good as anything you've ever done.

10. - Thank you so much. - Okay, Poppy, you're up.

11. Imagine a world not built for you,

12. but built by you.

13. What would you build?

14. What world would you want to see?

15. Jacques, Jean-Luc, I'm going to stay on the dev testing server

16. and mount builds for each of you on the East Coast and APAC staging servers.

17. Poppy, we're not set up for that. They're not gonna be able to see you.

18. But if we are not in the same session—

19. We see you.

20. Permanent persistent changes

21. across all servers and instances

22. with no visible latency.

23. Players build it,

24. and it's in the game…

25. for everyone.

26. Montreal, Bucharest, Mumbai, Paris,

27. Shanghai, Singapore.

28. Destroy it, and it's in the game…

29. for everyone.

30. Build it again. It's in the game.

31. For everyone.

32. Holy shit.

33. This…

34. is Hera.

35. Yes.

36. Now, I have invited several of our testers to join us.

37. Sorry. Just having an issue managing the load distribution. I just—

38. Poppy, we lost you. Is this part of the show?

39. No, it isn't, but it's fine.

40. I can fix it. I just need to—

41. Oh, no.

42. - What is that? What's happening? - It's the blue screen of death.

43. That's bad.

44. She just crashed all the staging servers.

45. - That's worse. - And the dev servers.

46. That's a worldwide outage. Yikes.

47. Sorry, excuse me. Hello! Poppy?

48. Are you still there? Are we still connected?

49. Oh, yeah. Hanging up on them.

50. Yeah, that should solve the global catastrophic tech event

51. that just occurred.

52. Nice work, Pop.

53. Brad.

54. Hey. Wonder if you'd help me with something. My wife—

55. - Ex-wife. - Ex-wife.

56. She sold our old house and decided she wanted to move into my condo.

57. Big news. She's coming back?

58. No. I'd be moving out.

59. We put her name on the deed for tax reasons or something like that.

60. She explains it better. She decided we both should be downsizing—

61. Dear God, David.

62. No, no. This is actually a good thing.

63. See, I've been feeling like the widow's looking for more of a commitment,

64. but this lone wolf isn't sure he's ready to settle down right now.

65. But the booty call commute is killing me.

66. So I got a new apartment in Cerritos which is halfway between MQ and Yorba Linda.

67. Anyway, I was just wondering if you'd help me move some boxes out there?

68. Wait, did you just ask me to help you move?

69. - I'll buy pizza and beer. - Oh, God. This is not good.

70. - I know. I just refinanced that condo too. - No, I'm not talking about you.

71. You only ask nice people to help you move.

72. I can't have people thinking that about me. They take advantage of you.

73. I'm a nice guy. No one takes advantage of me.

74. Your ex-wife literally just forced you out of your own home for the second time.

75. Yeah, that's different. If anything, that's like domestic abuse.

76. Oh, God. No.

77. - Hey. - Hey.

78. - How have you been? - Great.

79. Yeah. Just— Just chilling.

80. So you're with David now?

81. What? No.

82. - Brad's gonna help me move. - No, I'm not.

83. That's so sweet of you, Brad.

84. Gonna buy him little pizzas, beer. We were gonna kinda…

85. None of that is gonna happen. That's not a plan.

86. I'm not gonna help you move. I would never do that.

87. - So you two are just moving in together? - Absolutely not.

88. Well…

89. We could move in together.

90. Hold on a second.

91. You would not believe the bachelor pads in Cerritos.

92. - You can get 'em for a good— - Stop imagining.

93. - Dude. We'd be out together. - No! Stop howling.

94. - Pick up babes. - None of this is gonna happen.

95. I'm sorry.

96. What's…

97. What is so funny?

98. Nothing.

99. Come on, you little dick.

100. Yes! Yes! Yes!

101. God! I am your God, you goat bitch.

102. Hi.

103. Hi.

104. Is that Grouchy Goat?

105. I didn't know you were still working on it.

106. Yeah, I had to submit a sample to Berkeley when I applied.

107. Just trying to make it less embarrassing.

108. Yeah…

109. speaking of embarrassing, can I tell you something?

110. What is it?

111. So you know C.W.'s friend gave me that book?

112. Well, I read it, and it's trash.

113. It's, like, wall-to-wall sex tropes,

114. male savior complex, voiceless heroine.

115. C.W.'s friend? That tracks.

116. Right.

117. But I cried at the end. Because I loved the main character.

118. I mean, I hated him at first,

119. but then slowly I started to learn more about him and where he was coming from,

120. mostly through incredibly pornographic sex scenes.

121. By the end, I realized I'd changed my mind about him.

122. - That's a good writer. - Yeah.

123. I think I wanna be that.

124. Rache.

125. - That is so great. - Yeah?

126. Yes. You know what you want.

127. Yeah, I don't know how to do it though.

128. Well, I don't know how to do this shit.

129. But I'm doing it anyway.

130. So can you.

131. Thanks.

132. - He's cute. - He's so janky.

133. He is janky.

134. You guys made me look like an asshole yesterday.

135. Hera is a complete disaster, and it is all your fault.

136. Why isn't it working?

137. - Because it's— - Don't say impossible.

138. The next words out of your mouth better be helpful.

139. Aim lower.

140. Go on.

141. You can have persistent change that's not concurrent

142. or concurrent change that's not permanent.

143. - But you've gotta let something go. - Poppy.

144. Not now, David. I'm in the middle of something.

145. Ian's in the hospital.

146. - What? The hospital? - He had a heart attack.

147. What?

148. - Hey, Pop. - Jesus, look at you.

149. It's not as bad as it looks.

150. You had a fucking heart attack.

151. I'm sorry. I don't wanna yell at you like this.

152. I...

153. I got you this.

154. - "It's a girl"? - Yeah.

155. Sorry, it was all they had down at the gift shop.

156. Thanks.

157. I'm sorry I was mean to you earlier.

158. - Don't go, okay? - I won't.

159. Yeah, okay.

160. Thanks. Take care.

161. Poppy says they're monitoring Ian, but he's okay for now.

162. Thank the heavens!

163. But he's as strong as ten men.

164. Of course he'll pull through.

165. But if not,

166. I am fully prepared with his updated obituary.

167. You wrote his obituary already?

168. Years ago upon Ian's request.

169. It's quite common to have obituaries prepared for, well, men of stature.

170. You know, titans of industry and heroic figures.

171. Is Ian a heroic figure?

172. Yes.

173. Okay.

174. Well, can I read it?

175. Here.

176. If I may.

177. Sure.

178. "Ian T. Grimm. World builder, legend

179. and visionary of the world's most popular MMORPG, Mythic Quest,

180. shed his mortal form today.

181. A born leader and raconteur,

182. Grimm shunned conventional schooling early on in his life

183. to pursue his passion for storytelling,

184. rocketing to fame in the video game industry.

185. Grimm's vast interests included astronomy,

186. physics, medieval weaponry and bodybuilding.

187. He was also an expert motorcyclist,

188. often being told, 'You could've gone professional.'

189. Grimm also had a keen eye for fashion, designing all his own clothes.

190. His thunderous presence will be missed."

191. Okay, well, that was definitely—

192. "Mr. Grimm leaves behind his peers,

193. the gaming community, and the world at large."

194. Wow. Good job.

195. "Another seat at the table in Valhalla has been taken.

196. A true titan, Ian T. Grimm, age unknown."

197. His age is known. He's 42.

198. Ian felt pretty strongly about that line.

199. Of course he did. He's paranoid about getting old.

200. You know he takes hair pills?

201. Anyway. No, it sounds pretty good.

202. I never really thought about writing my obituary.

203. Again, it's reserved for men of stature.

204. Nonetheless, it is a worthy exercise.

205. Yeah.

206. Wonder what mine would say.

207. - If I may? - Please.

208. David Brittlesbee, executive producer of Mythic Quest—

209. Respected executive producer.

210. Respected. Yes, good.

211. It can also be aspirational.

212. Mr. Brittlesbee was known to friends as a—

213. - What are you known as? - A nice guy.

214. A nice guy.

215. Whose vast interests span such topics as…

216. Oil-free cooking.

217. And deep cleaning.

218. "Deep cleaning."

219. - Really? - Oh, yeah.

220. No. Cleaning is therapy for me. I love to clean my condo.

221. Although, actually, I can't anymore 'cause my ex-wife lives in it now.

222. And cleaning his ex-wife's condo.

223. No. It's my condo. She just lives in it.

224. And you pay for it?

225. Yeah.

226. Oh, Christ, man. You gotta help me out here.

227. How did this even happen? Stress?

228. Maybe.

229. I mean, can you imagine being so passionate about something,

230. wanting it to be so good that your heart literally explodes?

231. - It's kind of heroic actually. - There's my guy.

232. You know, Pop, I am feeling kinda weak.

233. You should rest.

234. - Hey, can I ask you something stupid? - Yeah, sure.

235. Do you think you could stay here and just, like,

236. rub my head and talk to me until I fall asleep?

237. - Are you serious? - Yeah. It's stupid.

238. You don't have to do that. I'm sorry.

239. No, no. It's not. It's…

240. Sorry, I'm just a little thrown.

241. I've never seen you like this before. You look…

242. - Courageous. - No.

243. - Virile, despite the circumstances. - No, you look—

244. You look like a little boy.

245. Lay back.

246. - For real? - Yeah.

247. - Mr. Grimm. - Hey, Doc.

248. Listen, if we're gonna have to do a transplant,

249. can you make mine a tiger's heart instead of a pig?

250. - He's joking. - I am. I am joking.

251. I know I can't get a tiger's heart.

252. But I do feel like I should be able to pick out the pig.

253. I want to make sure he's an alpha.

254. You are not gonna need a new heart from any species.

255. Your heart is fine. But you are severely dehydrated.

256. And it looks like you haven't eaten in a day or two.

257. - Which caused the heart attack? - No.

258. It caused your blood pressure to drop, which is why you fainted.

259. - He fainted? - No. He didn't. I didn't—

260. I didn't faint. 'Cause I don't do fainting, Doc.

261. Okay. Well, either way, we're gonna keep you here overnight for observation,

262. but in the meantime, I can prescribe you this.

263. And please, Mr. Grimm, just eat a little more during the day.

264. And I almost forgot.

265. I was able to fulfill your prescription for hair pills.

266. Drink your juice.

267. Oh, my God!

268. - Okay. - No!

269. Dana?

270. David, I'm awake. I'm working.

271. It's me.

272. Oh, shit. Your voice sounded so much like David.

273. Why does everyone always say that?

274. Sorry. Where you been?

275. So…

276. Well, let me start off by saying that I'm not a stalker.

277. Okay. That's a great start.

278. - Unless you say "but." - But...

279. I found this really amazing writing program,

280. and it's exactly what I need. I think.

281. - That's great. - And it's in Berkeley.

282. I know it sounds creepy, like I engineered it, but I totally didn't.

283. It really is exactly what I need.

284. And I can afford it.

285. It also happens to be in the same city that you're going to.

286. And at first I thought, like,

287. "Oh, my God, this is such a great happy accident."

288. But then I started to think that maybe you would think that I would just—

289. Is this gonna become a habit?

290. Where you won't shut the fuck up unless I kiss you?

291. Well, I have a lot to say, so…

292. - May I help you? - Don't mind me, Brad.

293. I'm just prepping for a move I'm gonna make.

294. A move into your office.

295. Is that right? What makes you think you'll be taking it over?

296. I might as well tell you since it's already been completed.

297. After all, I owe it all to Mr. Bakshi.

298. - You're welcome. - Not you. Your brother.

299. - My brother? - Zack and I have been working together.

300. You see, Zack realizes that I'm a true shark.

301. I told him about us going mobile,

302. and he advised me to buy a bunch of shares in the company

303. before it's announced and raises the company's profitability.

304. So I scraped up a bunch of money from my "family back home" and did just that,

305. making me not only powerful but soon to be very wealthy.

306. Wow. You really are a shark.

307. You're also a felon.

308. You used non-public information to buy shares of a publicly-traded company.

309. That's insider trading.

310. What? No, that's…

311. Zack told me to!

312. Yeah, yeah, he used you.

313. He doesn't care about you making money.

314. You know what he does care about?

315. An employee getting arrested for insider trading which will tank the stock,

316. so he can swoop in and buy the shares at a bargain.

317. But, I mean, you already knew that, right? 'Cause you're a shark, right?

318. Fuck.

319. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

320. - Hey, Jo. - Fuck you!

321. What are you doing?

322. - You're unhinged! - You're lucky you're already in hospital!

323. Jesus Christ, these are monitoring my vitals.

324. I'm sorry. Well, if you have another medical emergency,

325. maybe you can just take a pull from your juice box!

326. Jesus Christ!

327. I can't believe that I rushed all the way down here for this!

328. Oh, my God. This is about your body. Isn't it?

329. Yeah, I bet you haven't eaten anything

330. because you need to stay three days out of taking your bloody shirt off.

331. No, that's not what this is about.

332. Yes, it is. You've dehydrated yourself on purpose

333. so that you can have more vasculars or some other weird shit.

334. Poppy, that's insane.

335. I'm already vascular enough. I don't need to limit my caloric intake.

336. Oh, my God! Bye.

337. Wait, wait, wait!

338. What did you think of my expansion?

339. What?

340. Zeus. What did you think?

341. Who cares what I think of it?

342. You love it. Montreal loves it. All the staff love it.

343. Do you love it?

344. I think it's derivative, unimaginative and lazy.

345. It's shit.

346. It is shit.

347. You're the only other person that knows that.

348. I've been faking my way through it like a con man.

349. I mean, we all know you're a con man,

350. but you used to also be a creative director.

351. What about you?

352. You're the one that put battle royale into the game

353. and made MQ some sort of kiddie experience just to get a win.

354. A win over who?

355. Me.

356. But at least I can admit when I'm actually scared.

357. You couldn't even be honest with me when it mattered most.

358. What? About your expansion?

359. I was kind of busy with my own thing.

360. No, not about the expansion. The other night with Carol.

361. I told you my biggest fear.

362. A fear that got me put in the fucking hospital.

363. And all you told me was some bullshit.

364. It's not bullshit. I am afraid to sing in front of people.

365. You see a little boy over here. I see a scared little girl over there.

366. One that can't even admit to herself or her best friend that—

367. You know what? Fuck it. I'm exhausted. You just go.

368. Are you crying?

369. You know, maybe my estrogen levels are spiked, and I…

370. Yeah.

371. Just... Just go, man.

372. Just go. Just leave me alone.

373. I just wanna be alone, okay?

374. It's okay.

375. - I'm sorry. - It's okay.

376. I'm sorry.

377. It's okay.

378. It's okay.

379. Not that song though. Okay?

380. Something different. Like in English.

381. It's a song my dad used to sing to me. It's a lullaby. So…

382. If I don't understand it, it doesn't have the impact that I want it to.

383. All right, well, it's…

384. Why are there so many

385. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Do that one.

386. Songs about rainbows

387. And what's on the other side?

388. Rainbows are visions But only illusions

389. And rainbows have nothing to hide

390. So we've been told

391. And some choose to believe it

392. I know they're wrong, wait and see

393. Someday we'll find it The rainbow connection

394. The lovers, the dreamers and me

395. Who said that every wish

396. Would be heard and answered

397. When wished on the morning star?

398. Somebody thought of that

399. And someone believed it

400. Look what it's done so far

401. What's so amazing

402. That keeps us stargazing

403. And what do you think we might see?