1. - Let... me... go!Copy !req
2. - Ugh!Copy !req
3. - Hi, everyone.Copy !req
4. Welcome to
the satellite of love.Copy !req
5. Mike Nelson here
with my friends Crow T. RobotCopy !req
6. and Tom Servo.Copy !req
7. You caught us
in the middle of our
quarterly workout.Copy !req
8. Crow,
I think you need to add
more weights.Copy !req
9. - Here we go.
- I don't actually think I do.Copy !req
10. Ahh! Oh, no!Copy !req
11. - Tom,
that can't be doing much.Copy !req
12. Let's say we throw
the medicine ball around.Copy !req
13. - No, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
14. If you can't take
30 minutes out of each year,Copy !req
15. you don't
deserve a hot date.Copy !req
16. We'll be right back.Copy !req
17. - Pretty good workout,
ey, men?Copy !req
18. Got a juicer here.
Want some juice?Copy !req
19. - Oh, juice...
- Juice? I thought it was pop.Copy !req
20. - All right.
There we go.Copy !req
21. - Mike, that's an egg.
- Yep. What's the matter,Copy !req
22. you don't like the juice
of a hardboiled egg?Copy !req
23. - Why, you can
put anything in here,Copy !req
24. sausage,
a little bacon.Copy !req
25. but you know, boys,
sometimes I just can't wait.Copy !req
26. - Oh, barf!Copy !req
27. - Ah, losers in the sky.Copy !req
28. Big doings down here,
Deep 13.Copy !req
29. Skyrocketing costs
have begun to impair even
my weekly bonus program.Copy !req
30. So, I've been thinking
outside of the boxCopy !req
31. and at the end of the day
you're going to see someCopy !req
32. real changes around here.Copy !req
33. Yes, we're re-engineering
and, ah, Frank hereCopy !req
34. will be spearheading
our outplacement program.Copy !req
35. - Me? Oh, wow.
- That's right, Frank.Copy !req
36. We've got deadwood.
We've got to cut costs.Copy !req
37. - Exactly.
I think you're right.Copy !req
38. - Well, of course
I'm right, Frank.Copy !req
39. Now, here,
round this person up
and can his ass.Copy !req
40. - Okay, let's see.Copy !req
41. Ah, "Frank TV's."
Oh, poor guy.Copy !req
42. He's probably
got a family... Hey!Copy !req
43. - Well, that's that.
Painful, yes,Copy !req
44. but I've got to think
of the greater me.Copy !req
45. What color is your
parachute, Frank?Copy !req
46. - I don't have a parachute.
- Bummer.Copy !req
47. Well, here's your
parting gift...Copy !req
48. - Oh, neat.Copy !req
49. - ... And here's your
farewell dinner.Copy !req
50. - But Frank's
your most valued employee.Copy !req
51. - How will he eat?
- How will he live?Copy !req
52. - Oh, he'll be okay.
Look how hirable he is.Copy !req
53. Ah, we—
well, Frank, ah,Copy !req
54. I'm going to miss
seeing you around here.Copy !req
55. Um, well,
it's been nice.Copy !req
56. Hah, good luck.
Off with you now.Copy !req
57. - Shoo, shoo.
- But I still live here.Copy !req
58. - Goodbye, Frank.Copy !req
59. Well, Marcel,Copy !req
60. your movie this week is called
Village Of The Giants.Copy !req
61. made by Bert I. GordonCopy !req
62. who's also
not working much anymore.Copy !req
63. - Should I push the button,
Dr. Forrester?Copy !req
64. - Frank,
you're fired!Copy !req
65. Oh... g— Ah!
Just a minute...Copy !req
66. - Frank, buddy...Copy !req
67. - Hm.Copy !req
68. - Oh, my.
Oh, my word.Copy !req
69. - Wow.Copy !req
70. Wild, wild,
rebels.Copy !req
71. Man, I love these
"blue blockers."Copy !req
72. - Haha, haha!Copy !req
73. Oh, Madonna,
what're you up to now?Copy !req
74. Haha, haha!Copy !req
75. - The extra 'E'Copy !req
76. is for 'Extra Levine.'Copy !req
77. - This is everything
Laugh-In could've been!Copy !req
78. - Wow. You know,
they don't lookCopy !req
79. - that big to me.
- Uh-uh.Copy !req
80. - Uh-uh.Copy !req
81. - 'Based on?' Oh, that
they're both in English.Copy !req
82. - This could be based on
'Profiles and Courage.'Copy !req
83. - Oh, by Theodore Sorensen?
- Yes.Copy !req
84. - Heh. Boy these kids today,Copy !req
85. You just can't tell 'em apart!Copy !req
86. - Yeah you know like,
look at that kid there,Copy !req
87. with his long hair,
his firm buttocks,Copy !req
88. his pert breasts and a-oh,
wait a minute.Copy !req
89. And just a 'hint'
of Toni Basil.Copy !req
90. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
91. Hi, Beau.Copy !req
92. - Beau knows awkward dancing.Copy !req
93. - She's just trying
to get attention!Copy !req
94. - Mm-hm.Copy !req
95. Ha, ha.Copy !req
96. - Oh, Jack Nitzsche.Copy !req
97. That which does not kill you
makes you more musical.Copy !req
98. - Pioneers
in really, big stuff.Copy !req
99. Oh, you know she made
her own costume herself?Copy !req
100. She's really
very talented.Copy !req
101. Mm-hm.Copy !req
102. - So guys, what stage
of The Wonder YearsCopy !req
103. do you think
this is anyway?Copy !req
104. - Somehow this film
is a metaphorCopy !req
105. for the Vietnam war.Copy !req
106. - Somehow.
- Russ Tit-elman?Copy !req
107. Tit-elman, can they say that,
can they, huh?Copy !req
108. Hah.Copy !req
109. - So, you think
this music's ever gonna getCopy !req
110. near a melody or what?Copy !req
111. - Nobody cares
about these people.Copy !req
112. Let's just get on with it.Copy !req
113. - I care.
- Oh.Copy !req
114. - You know,
this is not gonna take
the pounds off.Copy !req
115. It's not aerobic.
It's anaerobic.Copy !req
116. - Yeah, and it's
contra-indicative.Copy !req
117. Contramunipa...
Contraindic—Copy !req
118. - Look out!
She's gonna chunk!Copy !req
119. - Oh.Copy !req
120. - When Catholic girls let go,
they really let go.Copy !req
121. - Wow.Copy !req
122. - So I 'sed' to the guy,
I 'sed.' 'Sed.' Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
123. The rain pelted the hovercraft,Copy !req
124. as it approached Torrean 5.Copy !req
125. - The forecast
is for bright sun,
with intense rain.Copy !req
126. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
127. - It's raining cats and tires!Copy !req
128. Ha!Copy !req
129. - Senator Kennedy,
are you all right?Copy !req
130. - Soo, I guess Jesus
was run down with a Thunderbird.Copy !req
131. - Oh, this is where
Thelma & Louise landed.Copy !req
132. - Oh, buddy.Copy !req
133. - Oh, no,
she's tonguing
the universe.Copy !req
134. - Oh.
- Uh, oh!Copy !req
135. - Acid rain is fun!Copy !req
136. - You could learn a lot
from a dummy.Copy !req
137. - You ever heard about
'turkey's in the rain'?Copy !req
138. - It's a-drive, baby!
Let's rock!Copy !req
139. - Ooohhh.Copy !req
140. - So far,
there's not 'thing one'
wrong with this movie.Copy !req
141. - Turn up that radio.Copy !req
142. Hey, let's have some
beer out here!Copy !req
143. - Creamed corn anyone?Copy !req
144. - Never was a car crash
celebrated so well.Copy !req
145. - Ugh, stop licking Beau.Copy !req
146. - Eck!Copy !req
147. If it rains much more,
it will turn into Sea Hunt.Copy !req
148. - Hey, that's the Monkey.
- I thought it was the jerk.Copy !req
149. - No, the jerks
are doing the Monkey.Copy !req
150. - Oh, ho, ho!Copy !req
151. - Witness the debauchery
of Grecco-Roman dancing!Copy !req
152. - If her pants were any tighter,
they'd be behind her.Copy !req
153. - Wow.Copy !req
154. - Oh, it looks like
a Pupa trying to emerge.Copy !req
155. - Ugh.
- Wrong.Copy !req
156. All right,
who gave the kids sugar?Copy !req
157. - Oh, she's the shy, smart one.
- Ha, ha!Copy !req
158. - Mike, do you think this scene
is providing characterizationCopy !req
159. and establishing narrative?Copy !req
160. - No, but who cares?Copy !req
161. Wait 'til mom finds out
I'm in a movie.Copy !req
162. - The main sewer line breaks,
and the party never stops!Copy !req
163. - These kids
are just 'high on life.'
Let 'em go, I say.Copy !req
164. - Well, he's contracted
dance fever from Deney Terrio.Copy !req
165. - Ow!Copy !req
166. - Ooo!
- No, don't,Copy !req
167. my pants
are a little too tight
for this sort of thing.Copy !req
168. - Hey, what kind
of a party is this?Copy !req
169. - Hey,
did each person or personsCopy !req
170. get explicit
consent for this?Copy !req
171. - When this is over,
you know they'll beCopy !req
172. too embarrassed
to look at each other.Copy !req
173. - Ow, my collarbone!
I can't feel my legs!Copy !req
174. - Mm, mud-honey.Copy !req
175. - Hey Blatz!
Ooh, I love Blatz!Copy !req
176. - I bet Beau
still has nightmares about
the making of this film.Copy !req
177. - If I were here,
I'd sit in the car,Copy !req
178. and listen to the radio.Copy !req
179. - This is the wildest
Christmas party yet.Copy !req
180. We top each other
every year!Copy !req
181. - You'll get
'The Pigskin Preview,'Copy !req
182. and also 'The Year in Sex.'
Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
183. - You'll need
'All-Temperature-Cheer'
to get those pants clean.Copy !req
184. - Yes, but how will they erase
the shame of this movie?Copy !req
185. - Ooh.Copy !req
186. - Whoa!
Hah, well, at this point,
what's inappropriate?Copy !req
187. Ha, ha!Copy !req
188. - Unreleased footage
from The Piano.Copy !req
189. - Couldn't they
have used all this time
to show short scenesCopy !req
190. of their growing discontent
with society's morey's?Copy !req
191. - Well, they got a lot
of wet boob shots in.Copy !req
192. - Hey.Copy !req
193. - Must, get to, busted, sign.Copy !req
194. - Hey!
- Oh! We have dialog!Copy !req
195. - Let's go to Hainesville
to have some fun, huh?Copy !req
196. - What have you been doing?
- Yeah, but how are weCopy !req
197. gonna get there?Copy !req
198. - Those long, long legs, baby!Copy !req
199. - Ah, three miles,
are you kidding?Copy !req
200. - Hey, it's a wild idea,
let's go down to the 'go-go's'Copy !req
201. and cause
a little trouble, huh?Copy !req
202. - Are you serious?
That's three miles away!Copy !req
203. - Oh, baby,
it'll be good for ya!Copy !req
204. - Harry, the overnight bags!
- Yes, Madam.Copy !req
205. - Hey, besides,
there's this broad down thereCopy !req
206. I've always had my eye on,
what's her name?Copy !req
207. - Koruba!
- Nancy! N-Nancy or somethingCopy !req
208. or the w-w-wait a minute—Copy !req
209. - Oo, that's not mud. Oo!Copy !req
210. - Oo.Copy !req
211. Model home may not be availableCopy !req
212. as seen.Copy !req
213. - Pretty nice system,
that's a Thorens Turntable
with a Conrad-Johnson Amp.Copy !req
214. Stasis Class A.Copy !req
215. - Ozzie & Harriet,
after dark.Copy !req
216. - This is Tommy Kirk
really acting.Copy !req
217. - Ooh.Copy !req
218. I'm next. Ruff.Copy !req
219. - Ugh.
- Ew!Copy !req
220. - Even the dog's grossed out!Copy !req
221. - Uh-oh.Copy !req
222. - When do your parents
get back in town?Copy !req
223. - They're spending the night
in Los Angeles.Copy !req
224. Oh, yeah...Copy !req
225. Oh, that's French.Copy !req
226. - There's a big landslide
up the road.Copy !req
227. - A landslide?Copy !req
228. - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
- I bet you are.Copy !req
229. - So, what's for dinner?
- Hey, Mike!Copy !req
230. - Look what I got.
- Eeewww.Copy !req
231. - Am2Su, HCSoF,
and Magnesium Sulfate.Copy !req
232. How about that, Mike?Copy !req
233. - It's very impressive,
Genius.Copy !req
234. - They're not compatible.
- Like you guys.Copy !req
235. - This is supposed to blow up.Copy !req
236. - I wonder why it doesn't.
- Poor Ron.Copy !req
237. - You and I aren't going to be
very compatible either Genius,Copy !req
238. if you don't get out of here.Copy !req
239. - I hope that
blows up in his face so I
don't have to see Willow.Copy !req
240. - Hey, I liked Willow.Copy !req
241. - Crash! Agh! Clastic liquid
all over my face! Agh!Copy !req
242. - I don't know either.
But, uh, whatever it is,Copy !req
243. I like it.Copy !req
244. - Oh, take me,
you savage Mouseketeer.Copy !req
245. - Oh, you're good for me,
Nancy, you know that?Copy !req
246. - Uh-uh.
- Oh, you are very, very good.Copy !req
247. - But I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to fire you.Copy !req
248. Cut-backs.Copy !req
249. - I never knew
you liked good girls.Copy !req
250. - I don't.
They talk too much.Copy !req
251. - And they smell weird!Copy !req
252. - So?Copy !req
253. - So, stop talking so much.Copy !req
254. - Did you have
Kung Pao Chicken?Copy !req
255. - Aaaa, Aunt Bea,
I can't find my legs!Copy !req
256. - Help me!Copy !req
257. - I flip, I flip,
I flip, flip. Flip!Copy !req
258. Hoiman, hoiman!Copy !req
259. - Honey, I shrunk the Opie.
- Boing!Copy !req
260. - I blinded me with Science!Copy !req
261. - That's not really
what I was trying to do.Copy !req
262. - Genius,
are you all right?Copy !req
263. Suddenly I want to direct.Copy !req
264. - Of course I'm all right.
Why shouldn't I be?Copy !req
265. - Well,
you could've been killed.Copy !req
266. - Oh, nonsense.Copy !req
267. - Well, you could have.Copy !req
268. - I put an electric charge
to that stuff I was mixing,Copy !req
269. - and then— Pow!--
- I am so ashamed.Copy !req
270. —the whole place blew up!Copy !req
271. - Hm, Tommy's not too hard
to entertain.Copy !req
272. - Hah, hah, no.Copy !req
273. - Nice of Tommy
to stay awake for this scene.Copy !req
274. - I wonder what that is.Copy !req
275. I wonder what 'The King"
is doing tonight?Copy !req
276. - Do you think it might be
ammonia-astride sulfate?Copy !req
277. - No. It's either pancake mix,
or an octopus.Copy !req
278. - Don't try to be funny.Copy !req
279. - What a relief.Copy !req
280. Mein Fuehrer, I can walk! Arf!Copy !req
281. - Yes, but what does it mean?Copy !req
282. - Hey, Thomasina!
- Don't get that cat involved.Copy !req
283. - Please.Copy !req
284. - A mess.Copy !req
285. All right Genius,
put your talentsCopy !req
286. to cleaning this up.
Go get a broom.Copy !req
287. - Things
this kid comes up with.
Fantastic!Copy !req
288. - Fan-tas-tic.
- I suppose.Copy !req
289. Anyway,
he does keep things
from getting dull,Copy !req
290. if he just
wouldn't overdo it.Copy !req
291. - Mm, you can taste
the codfish flavor!Copy !req
292. - Num-num.
- Shoo.Copy !req
293. Go on, beat it.Copy !req
294. - Num-num.Copy !req
295. - Whoa. It's a
'Peanut-Opie-Buster Parfait.'Copy !req
296. Ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
297. - Mike!
- Don't forget the cherry!Copy !req
298. - You nearly stepped on it!Copy !req
299. - On what?Copy !req
300. - You might've set it off.Copy !req
301. You really
must be more careful.Copy !req
302. - His burglar alarm.Copy !req
303. - How's it work?
Pretty good?Copy !req
304. - I don't know.
I never really tried it out.Copy !req
305. Only in theory.
In theory, it works fine.Copy !req
306. - Well,
build a better mousetrap,Copy !req
307. and they'll
beat a path to your door,
they always say.Copy !req
308. - Shut up.
- Not 'mouse trap,'Copy !req
309. 'burglar trap.'Copy !req
310. I'm going to patent it.Copy !req
311. - Um, I'm gonna have to ask you
to start making sense here.Copy !req
312. Scatters! Look out!Copy !req
313. - Am I nuts or something?Copy !req
314. - Huh, ooh, Puss-n-boots!Copy !req
315. - I'll say.
- If you are...Copy !req
316. We all are.Copy !req
317. - Ah,
this ain't good for me! Oh!Copy !req
318. - Uh, they never should've
delayed that spaying.Copy !req
319. - Got get him, Woof.
Sic 'em, boy!Copy !req
320. - Up yours, Opie.
I ain't goin'.Copy !req
321. - He'll make a great lap cat
for William Conrad.Copy !req
322. Oh, for dumb.Copy !req
323. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.Copy !req
324. - Dumb, dumb, dumb-dumb, dumb.
- Atta boy Woof, sic 'em!Copy !req
325. - Well, that's over.Copy !req
326. - That cat was eating that.
- Diddley durhey.Copy !req
327. - What've we got here?Copy !req
328. - I suppose
the correct name would beCopy !req
329. 'ammonia actride sulfate,
deethyly choloricin.'Copy !req
330. And some other really
scientific stuff.Copy !req
331. - Perhaps
we ought to call it Goo.
Would that be simpler?Copy !req
332. - No, not really.Copy !req
333. - You know what?
- What?Copy !req
334. - That's what.
- Oh!Copy !req
335. - We're gonna make us
a million bucks.Copy !req
336. - I s'pose.Copy !req
337. - The million dollar ducks!Copy !req
338. Hey, this isn't kosher,
I should be eating this.Copy !req
339. - H.G. Wells'
'Food of the Ducks!'Copy !req
340. - Sorry we couldn't show you
the 'actual growing sequence.'Copy !req
341. - Oh, great.Copy !req
342. Now there's gonna be
duck stuff all over the yard.Copy !req
343. - Can you imagine
if you fed this to cattle,
or-or to chickens?Copy !req
344. - Or Jim J. Bullock?
- Five, six times this size!Copy !req
345. Imagine the money.Copy !req
346. Genius,
the first thing
you gotta doCopy !req
347. is make some more
of this stuff.Copy !req
348. - If he can remember
what he made it from.Copy !req
349. - Of course I can!Copy !req
350. - Oh boy,
we're going inside now!Copy !req
351. Hoop, dee doo,
dee doop, dee doo.Copy !req
352. - Go to the Dells,
ride the ducks!Copy !req
353. Ha, ha.Copy !req
354. - Huh? Rrr-rrr...Copy !req
355. real chunks
of sodium diethylate.Copy !req
356. What sin could a duck commit
in a single lifetime?Copy !req
357. - Willow.
- Koruba!Copy !req
358. - First thing we'll do
is patent the formula.Copy !req
359. - First we find it.
- And market it.Copy !req
360. - Then we love!Copy !req
361. - Can you imagine the problems
we're gonna solve?Copy !req
362. Unlimited food supply
at practically no extra cost!Copy !req
363. Oh, and we gotta
keep this secret,Copy !req
364. - absolutely secret.
- Of course.Copy !req
365. - Mm, mm.
♪ The Wells Fargo wagonCopy !req
366. - Scarlotti?Copy !req
367. I wanna go walkies!Copy !req
368. - Well, come on in.
- I can't,Copy !req
369. - I'm a cheap effect.
- That's our freakish mishap.Copy !req
370. - He must've eaten
some of the GooCopy !req
371. when you fed the du—Copy !req
372. Oh, Mike!
The ducks are gone!Copy !req
373. Our secret's flown the coop!Copy !req
374. - Oh, cool, Paris is burning.
- Okay to leave my stuff here?Copy !req
375. - Yeah, why not?
They close this place down,Copy !req
376. - nobody comes here anymore.
- Huh? The curtains are alive!Copy !req
377. - Boy I was sure dirty.Copy !req
378. I'm glad
we found this place
to clean up in.Copy !req
379. She cleaned up real nice, Pa.Copy !req
380. I tried soaking them out,
and scrubbing them out!Copy !req
381. - Hey aren't you guys
ready yet?Copy !req
382. - I wanna go dancing!
- Boi-ing, Boi-ing!Copy !req
383. I'll go get some mud!Copy !req
384. It's hard to get
a matinée audience.Copy !req
385. - Aha!
- Come on guys,Copy !req
386. I wanna do
my Andy Williams Revue!Copy !req
387. - Now what
is the story on you guys,Copy !req
388. - you're gonna kill yourselves!
- You like my Orlon sweater?Copy !req
389. - Be ready in a minute.
- Wohahahahaoh!Copy !req
390. - Boy, this place
is really groovy!Copy !req
391. - Ha! Kids today.
- Hey ah, what?Copy !req
392. Are you girls
gonna take all night, huh?Copy !req
393. - I'm coming.
- No, you're combing.Copy !req
394. - Dig that nitty-gritty!Copy !req
395. - Stop slanging!
What are you saying?Copy !req
396. That's a go-go!
Let's get over there.Copy !req
397. - Does she have bionic hearing?Copy !req
398. - ['When it Comes
to Your Love" playing]Copy !req
399. - It's the Beau Brummels!
- The Beau Bridges Brummels!Copy !req
400. - The Beau Brummel Bridges
of Madison County!Copy !req
401. - Okay, okay.Copy !req
402. - Play 'Laugh Loud!'Copy !req
403. - Play 'Woman woman
woman woman!'Copy !req
404. - What is that,
animal from the Muppets
in the front there?Copy !req
405. Wo-man!Copy !req
406. - Hey, Keno Reeves on bass!Copy !req
407. I will go to Count Dracula.Copy !req
408. - I can dance and chew gum.Copy !req
409. - Of course,
the famous 'Whiskey-a-go-go'Copy !req
410. in Hainesville.Copy !req
411. - Hey, wanna fix those pipes
while you're up there?Copy !req
412. - Looks like a sea anemone.Copy !req
413. - A lab experiment
gone horribly wrong.Copy !req
414. - Ooh, she's been bloodlet.Copy !req
415. - Good God! Step back!
Kiss ma'self! Woo-Ah! Ow!Copy !req
416. I'm so embarrassed,Copy !req
417. we all wore the same thing.Copy !req
418. I hope we're English.Copy !req
419. - Wow,
we're really ugly,
aren't we?Copy !req
420. - Kind of a
Al Pacino look for him, huh?Copy !req
421. - Could you play
with your mouth closed?Copy !req
422. - And one,
and two and three and—
oh I lost it. Shoot!Copy !req
423. - I can count,
three-four!Copy !req
424. - Hey, Suzanne Somers.Copy !req
425. - Which one's Brummel?Copy !req
426. - Your USC Trojans!Copy !req
427. - Oh, I thought 'The Fugs'
were gonna be here.Copy !req
428. - I'm stuck.Copy !req
429. - Hey, get a load
of that Red-head up there, huh?Copy !req
430. - Hey, are you
getting a load of me?Copy !req
431. I can't stop doing this!Copy !req
432. Oooowhoa!Copy !req
433. - Hey,
it's Christian sensation
Grant Goodeve.Copy !req
434. Ah, G, D, B, E... whatever.Copy !req
435. - Come on honey, let's dance!Copy !req
436. - Isn't there
a movie in here somewhere?Copy !req
437. - You gotta dig.
- Hey, isn't thatCopy !req
438. the Asian performance artist
who broke up the Beau Brummels?Copy !req
439. - Hey, lookin' back,Copy !req
440. it's a picture
of The Master and his Wife.Copy !req
441. That is most dubious, dude.Copy !req
442. - My life is a lie!Copy !req
443. - Look at
the size of those ducks!
Where'd they come from?Copy !req
444. - Obviously, the turtle Gamera
can't be far behind!Copy !req
445. - Wow, look at those ducks.Copy !req
446. - Now this is ridiculous!
- Yeah. First of allCopy !req
447. we're assuming
they paid cover.Copy !req
448. - Yeah,
where'd they get the money?Copy !req
449. - Maybe they
put it on their 'bill.'Copy !req
450. - Doh! Ugh!
- Doh! Ugh! Hit him!Copy !req
451. - Ha, ha, ha, ha!
- Here duck!Copy !req
452. - Eh, what could
take my eyes off the duck?Copy !req
453. - Oh, hah.
I love hip-huggers,
don't you?Copy !req
454. Ha, ha.Copy !req
455. - Whoa.Copy !req
456. Hey, shake it, Lady Di!Copy !req
457. - Hm. It's better than
the Gymcorp.Copy !req
458. - 'Howard the Duck:
Behind the Green Door.'Copy !req
459. - Why,
I think we'd better
see how Frank is.Copy !req
460. - Yeah, good idea.
- Frank honey, are you okay?Copy !req
461. - Hey Clay, check it out.Copy !req
462. John Vernon's
on Acapulco Heat.Copy !req
463. - Frank, do you even plan on
looking for a job today?Copy !req
464. - Hey, I put in
some applications.Copy !req
465. Aaa, I made some calls.Copy !req
466. - Frank,
you haven't moved
since Vicky.Copy !req
467. Now help me clean up.
I've got an applicant coming.Copy !req
468. - Well, I can see— What?Copy !req
469. - Oh Frank, don't worry.
It might not even work out.Copy !req
470. - I don't plan on paying him.Copy !req
471. Ah, it's open!Copy !req
472. - Knock, knock.Copy !req
473. - Ah Mr. Torgo, come in.Copy !req
474. - I ah...Copy !req
475. My references.Copy !req
476. - Ah. Uh...Copy !req
477. Ew.Copy !req
478. Eck.Copy !req
479. Oh, I see you
worked for the Master.Copy !req
480. - From '73 to present.Copy !req
481. - And you owned your ownCopy !req
482. food delivery service
for a time I see here.Copy !req
483. - There were
sanitation problems.Copy !req
484. - I see.Copy !req
485. Um, any physical problems
that would prevent you from—Copy !req
486. Frank, do you mind?Copy !req
487. Any physical problems
that would prevent youCopy !req
488. from performing
your responsibilities here?Copy !req
489. - Um... No.Copy !req
490. - And finally,Copy !req
491. what would you say
are your greatest strengthsCopy !req
492. and your greatest weaknesses?Copy !req
493. - Well, I ah,
I work too hard.Copy !req
494. - Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.Copy !req
495. I'm ah, seriously though,Copy !req
496. I, mm...Copy !req
497. I always finish what I start,Copy !req
498. and I make animal sacrificesCopy !req
499. by the dark of night.Copy !req
500. - Terrific!Copy !req
501. Mr. Torgo, I'm willing
to offer you a position.Copy !req
502. - Oh, whoopie.Copy !req
503. - You'll start immediately.Copy !req
504. You'll work
twenty-four hours a day,Copy !req
505. you'll live on the premises
in a three by three closet,Copy !req
506. and you'll
be paid in Skunk pelts.Copy !req
507. - Dr. Forrester.
I'm your man.Copy !req
508. Ah— Ah! Oh, wonderful!Copy !req
509. Ah, let me show you
to your accommodations.Copy !req
510. Wait. Ah, first rule:Copy !req
511. No Theme music.Copy !req
512. - What Theme music?Copy !req
513. - Hey, I didn't know it was
'Big Duck' night tonight.Copy !req
514. - You know,
as into Bert I was
with the '50s,Copy !req
515. - he just didn't get the '60s.Copy !req
516. - Hey, those are my ducks!Copy !req
517. - Well, get 'em outta here!Copy !req
518. - You're kidding,
how did they get like that?Copy !req
519. - It's the new breed.
- Oh, from Texas, huh?Copy !req
520. - Okay, shut up!
Come on, man,
don't hand me that.Copy !req
521. What happened to 'em?
What's going on?Copy !req
522. What's going on around here?Copy !req
523. - Man, what a meal
they'd make, huh?Copy !req
524. - Take it back!
Take it back!Copy !req
525. - What have you
been feeding 'em?Copy !req
526. - Ah, it's my secret.
It's a million-dollar secret.Copy !req
527. - Ah, strings.Copy !req
528. You can see the strings,
call the SPCA!Copy !req
529. - Hey, listen.
Pete's got a great idea.Copy !req
530. - Peroxide.Copy !req
531. - Harry asked
the vital question:Copy !req
532. what they've been
feeding those ducks?Copy !req
533. - So?Copy !req
534. - Well, it's some sort
of a food additive, obviously.Copy !req
535. - It couldn't be
anything else, could it?Copy !req
536. - What's goin' on around here?
- They're keeping a secret.Copy !req
537. - A million-dollar secret
they said.Copy !req
538. - I like the sound of it.
- Thought you'd like it.Copy !req
539. - I thought you'd like it.Copy !req
540. - Chicks love big ducks,
let's face it.Copy !req
541. - Tell you what we're gonna do,
it's gonna be very simple...Copy !req
542. - Okay, first we get
a lot of orange sauce,Copy !req
543. and some bas motti rice,
some chestnuts.Copy !req
544. - Oh.Copy !req
545. - It's hard to form a 'V'
when there's just two of us.Copy !req
546. Quack.Copy !req
547. I'd offer to help,
but the 'no thumbs' thing
gets in the way, Opie.Copy !req
548. - Ronnie's starting to look good
to that dog right about now.Copy !req
549. - Oh, what to do
about Clint, hm?Copy !req
550. - I really am big, aren't I?Copy !req
551. - Darkboy.
- Look at him.Copy !req
552. The little kid,
plotting against usCopy !req
553. with Willow.Copy !req
554. - I liked Willow.
- Oh, you liked W—Copy !req
555. Kevin Pollack,
you like that?Copy !req
556. - Point taken.Copy !req
557. - Ah, he blew his hand up!Copy !req
558. - It's funny!Copy !req
559. - Charlie,
they took my thumbs.Copy !req
560. - Charlie.
- The 'Ope' of Greenich Village.Copy !req
561. - Interesting,Copy !req
562. but not quite what we wanted.Copy !req
563. - Back and to the left.Copy !req
564. - Ew.Copy !req
565. - Uh-oh, uh-oh.Copy !req
566. - Okay, while the Beau Brummels
take a break, it's record time!Copy !req
567. - Then it's time to collect
for the Will Rogers Institute.Copy !req
568. - Make the fringe move!Copy !req
569. Oh yeah,Copy !req
570. we're gonna
slow it down now, Baby,
to a.Copy !req
571. What's that?
Oh, that's French, baby.Copy !req
572. It means:
You were incredible.Copy !req
573. - Um, can I torment you
with my femininity?Copy !req
574. - Okay?
- Ees typical.Copy !req
575. - Sure.Copy !req
576. - Don't you want to dance?Copy !req
577. - Waiting for my girl.Copy !req
578. - 'Bird in the hand'
they always say.Copy !req
579. - I don't know
what that means.Copy !req
580. - They say
it's good for the figure—Copy !req
581. - 'the jerk.'
- Must be.Copy !req
582. - Wh-what? Huh?Copy !req
583. - How'd you
get into town anyway?
The road's out.Copy !req
584. - We walked down,
all the way from the slide.Copy !req
585. - Well, the small talk
isn't really working, huh?Copy !req
586. - It's a long walk.Copy !req
587. - They say
it's good for the legs.Copy !req
588. - Mm-what?Copy !req
589. - That's what they say.
- I don't really get it.Copy !req
590. - One Coke, please.Copy !req
591. Of all the disco techs
in the world,Copy !req
592. why'd she
have to come in here?Copy !req
593. - I'm glad to see
Satan's art is on sale.Copy !req
594. - Say uh,
they got a pretty good
crowd here tonight.Copy !req
595. - Got ya some ice.
- Uh, yes.Copy !req
596. - Here you are, honey.
- I never saw anyoneCopy !req
597. - do that before.
- Wait up, Nell!Copy !req
598. - I have strong hands.
- I guess.Copy !req
599. - Muscles are very
important to me.Copy !req
600. - Oh, really?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
601. - What is it,
some sort of vitamin?Copy !req
602. - Is it known
for its work in the theater?Copy !req
603. - Vitamin?
- Stuff that made the ducksCopy !req
604. grow like that.Copy !req
605. - Oh, yeah, that.Copy !req
606. Well, I guess you could
call it a vitaminCopy !req
607. if you wanted to.Copy !req
608. - Like a pill or something?Copy !req
609. - Yeah, yeah that's right.Copy !req
610. - No I-I spend a lot of my time
heaping around sides of beef,Copy !req
611. my old man's
in the meat business
in Los Angeles.Copy !req
612. - Isn't that interesting?
- Goodbye!Copy !req
613. - Yeah.
A 400-pound side of beef
over your shoulderCopy !req
614. really does
tighten up your muscles,
let me tell you.Copy !req
615. - Eh, that's funny.
Help me! Help!Copy !req
616. - He's about the uh,
biggest in the business I guess.Copy !req
617. - My old man, I mean.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
618. - Y-yeah, you ought to see
the size of his place, God.Copy !req
619. - Yeah, he handles a lot
of ground chuck and all.Copy !req
620. - Got an idea...
- Frankenstuff.Copy !req
621. So you take a hot dog
and cram it full of—Copy !req
622. - You and I
are gonna dance,
little lady.Copy !req
623. - Wait a minute.
- Come on now,Copy !req
624. this is good music,
this is the kind of stuffCopy !req
625. that I like to dance to,
you know?Copy !req
626. - Why don't
you get your teeth filled?Copy !req
627. - I bet you've got it
hidden away someplace.Copy !req
628. - Eh.
- Sure we have.Copy !req
629. - Like it's a secret?Copy !req
630. - Like it's a secret.
- Wh-wha?Copy !req
631. - You wouldn't mind
telling me, would you?Copy !req
632. - Or have you already?
I forgot.Copy !req
633. - Oh, uh,
it's-hidden-in-my-closet
behind-the-sneakers-Copy !req
634. - oh, God!
- I don't know...Copy !req
635. I'll have
to think about that.Copy !req
636. - Uh, let me kiss your
nasolabial trough again.Copy !req
637. - Tell me?Copy !req
638. - It's getting better.
Almost made up my mind for me.Copy !req
639. - Wow. This is sick.Copy !req
640. - Hey uh,
I just thought of something.Copy !req
641. - You're
supposed to be dancing,
not thinking.Copy !req
642. - I was just thinking, huh?Copy !req
643. Now this stuff
that you guys came up with,Copy !req
644. - I mean,
- Pants, pants for sale.Copy !req
645. - Who wants pants?
- you're gonna need some help,Copy !req
646. - won't you?
- Mike knows what he's doing.Copy !req
647. - Yeah but uh,
in a hick-town like this,
ah, I mean like,Copy !req
648. if you knew somebody in town,Copy !req
649. - someone in Los Angeles—
- Oh, Los Angeles.Copy !req
650. - somebody who
really knows the business—Copy !req
651. - Someone like your old man.
- Exactly, right, right!Copy !req
652. I'd take him
some of this stuff,Copy !req
653. and it'd just be amazingCopy !req
654. - what this man could do—
- I see exactly what you mean.Copy !req
655. - Please?Copy !req
656. - Bees? Yes, quite.Copy !req
657. - Just one more time,Copy !req
658. and I think
I'll make up my mind.Copy !req
659. - There.Copy !req
660. Have we got a deal?Copy !req
661. - Well, throw in tongue
and we got a deal.Copy !req
662. - You gonna tell me?
- The price is about right.Copy !req
663. - Drifting
to the right a little,
picking up some dust,Copy !req
664. pull forward, pull forward,
contact flesh.Copy !req
665. - But you're just
a shade too eager...Copy !req
666. - come to a stop.
- ... to pay it.Copy !req
667. - Huh.Copy !req
668. - I've just been
rejected by Tommy Kirk,Copy !req
669. I can't get
any lower than this.Copy !req
670. - Now, come on the level,
honey, now come onCopy !req
671. I'm trying to, ah,
do something for ya,
I wanna help ya.Copy !req
672. - I could introduce you
to my brother Jeff.Copy !req
673. - Why?
- Why?Copy !req
674. I guess
it's just because
I just, ah,Copy !req
675. I can't resist
helping somebody I like.Copy !req
676. - That's all.
- There's Alan Arkin!Copy !req
677. What am I doin' dancin' here?
I don't know I'm dancing.Copy !req
678. - It's as simple as that.Copy !req
679. - What about your girlfriend,
what's-her-name?Copy !req
680. - Who, Merrie?
Oh come on, baby,Copy !req
681. she's not my girlfriend,
she's one of the group.Copy !req
682. That's all.
One of the group.Copy !req
683. - Oh, looks like
they're dancing near
a collapsed star.Copy !req
684. - Oh, ho, ho.
- Come here.Copy !req
685. - Suppose we take that stuff...
- Oh, Beau, Beau,Copy !req
686. the hand thing
isn't working, Beau!Copy !req
687. - ... into Los Angeles,
together.Copy !req
688. - Just the two of us just you—
- Dueling cardigans.Copy !req
689. —and,
Mike baby, listen.Copy !req
690. We were just, ah, it's ama—
we were talking about this stuffCopy !req
691. - that you just—
- Beat it.Copy !req
692. - Oh. All right.Copy !req
693. - He allowed himself
to be threatened by Tommy Kirk.Copy !req
694. - That's low.Copy !req
695. - Hi I'm the adult child
of an alcoholicCopy !req
696. and I've got
great, great thighs.Copy !req
697. - Pa, Pa, Pa, Pa, Pa, Pa!Copy !req
698. - How do you like those ducks?
- Oh, good line.Copy !req
699. Stupid! Stupid!Copy !req
700. - Barbecued,
that's how I like them.Copy !req
701. - Wahah,
thanks for providing
the transition!Copy !req
702. - The naked corpse
of Paul PrudhommeCopy !req
703. gets roasted on a stick!Copy !req
704. - Ooh. Oh, well...Copy !req
705. It's fun to kill things!
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
706. - I dreamed I was standing by
a big dead duck in my underwear.Copy !req
707. - Come great strong warriors,
turn almighty duck!Copy !req
708. - Yeah, you like this, huh?Copy !req
709. - Look. It's Agnes Moorehead
holding a bunch of balloons.Copy !req
710. - Wow.Copy !req
711. - Welcome to Bunland:
Flesh capital of the world.Copy !req
712. - I guess this village
has no parents.Copy !req
713. - Look,
I know you're fond
of The Rifleman,Copy !req
714. but take the hat off,
it doesn't work anymore.Copy !req
715. - Tommy's hair gets higher
with every scene.Copy !req
716. - And so does Tommy.Copy !req
717. - You don't get soup.
It not part of buffet, okay?Copy !req
718. - I got a word for it:
We're carving a duck!Copy !req
719. - I'm sure the meat
from the huge mutated duck
has no side effects.Copy !req
720. - You guys
find a place to sleep?Copy !req
721. - Hmm?Copy !req
722. Uh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, we're camping out
at the old theatre.Copy !req
723. - Ah, what's goin' on
around here?Copy !req
724. - It's a good a place
as any, I guess.Copy !req
725. - Hey man.Copy !req
726. - You know what we're doing?
We're making history.Copy !req
727. - And eating it, too.
- You mean we're having historyCopy !req
728. - instead of potatoes? Mmm!
- Where's the Boy Wonder?Copy !req
729. - Genius?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
730. - He's trying to figure out
how to make some more Goo.Copy !req
731. - The President wants his duck.
Just put it on the plate.Copy !req
732. That's right.
And back away.Copy !req
733. - Num-num,
Papier-mache, num-num!Copy !req
734. Opie!Copy !req
735. - Man, the paperboy
will find you anywhereCopy !req
736. to collect, huh?Copy !req
737. - Jello, 3-2-1.Copy !req
738. - Comfort.Copy !req
739. - Huh.Copy !req
740. - This time
I was sure I had it.Copy !req
741. That's a very elusive formula.Copy !req
742. - Had what, kiddo?
- Kiddo?Copy !req
743. - And I didn't
steal no bike, neither.Copy !req
744. - I prefer
to be called 'Genius,'Copy !req
745. - if you don't mind.
- Okay, 'Genius,'Copy !req
746. - no offense.
- None taken.Copy !req
747. - What formula?
- For the Goo.Copy !req
748. There's not much of it
and they want me to makeCopy !req
749. to make some more.
But it's not easy.Copy !req
750. - Why don't we—
- Do it in the road.Copy !req
751. - go for a walk, Genius?
- Hmm.Copy !req
752. - I'll buy you
an ice cream cone.Copy !req
753. - I never touch it.
It's high in cholesterol,Copy !req
754. but I'll go
for a walk with you.Copy !req
755. - Okay.
- Wow.Copy !req
756. - Opie shoots he scores!Copy !req
757. - Mmm.Copy !req
758. - Oh, no,Copy !req
759. it's Tommy Kirk
in little pants!Copy !req
760. - They were trying pretty hard
to find out about the Goo,Copy !req
761. - weren't they?
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
762. Guess they
can smell a profit.Copy !req
763. - Tommy Kirk discussing Goo
makes me very uncomfortable.Copy !req
764. - Yes, look at his hair.Copy !req
765. - Guess this ought to be
safe enough.Copy !req
766. - Now let's go scare everyone
with my thighs!Copy !req
767. - You said 'thighs.'
- Oops, sorry.Copy !req
768. - What did you break?
- Hm?Copy !req
769. - Did you break something?Copy !req
770. - Shut up,
you're suffocating me!Copy !req
771. - Wasn't that you?Copy !req
772. - No.Copy !req
773. Oh.Copy !req
774. - Ziggy Stardust.Copy !req
775. ♪ Dar, DarrrCopy !req
776. - Get off ma land
ya' dang smoochers!Copy !req
777. ♪ Dar, DarrrCopy !req
778. - Please put
some pants on, Tommy!Copy !req
779. ♪ Now, NowwwCopy !req
780. - Spiders don't growl,
even that big.Copy !req
781. - Well, I guess you
really can't prove that
when they're that bigCopy !req
782. - they don't growl.
- I liked Willow.Copy !req
783. - Jim Kott-oh, wow!Copy !req
784. - Waa!
- Whoa, oh!Copy !req
785. - Mike!
- Strong enough for a spider,Copy !req
786. - but made for a Woman.
- Put that fool thing down.Copy !req
787. - Well I'm sorry,
I guess I should be supportingCopy !req
788. whatever the hell
you're doing!Copy !req
789. - Wow, this is almost,
Macgyver-isk!Copy !req
790. - Why is she
spray-painting the spider?Copy !req
791. - Get off the ground,
get up the stairs,Copy !req
792. get off the wet floor!Copy !req
793. - Get-stairs-up-off-wet.Copy !req
794. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
795. - Ah, pure 'I Gordon!' Hah!Copy !req
796. - Hm, roasted Spider.
- And everyone gets a leg.Copy !req
797. - Ooh!
- Don't go near the water,Copy !req
798. - it's deadly! It's charged!
- Make it go away, Tommy!Copy !req
799. - You killed him.Copy !req
800. You killed the spider.Copy !req
801. - Heh,
my plan worked perfect—
ah, no oh!Copy !req
802. - Oh, no.
- Fortunately,Copy !req
803. his little terry top
soaks up the mess.Copy !req
804. - Ha, ha.
- You all right?Copy !req
805. - Oh, that's
a fool question to ask.Copy !req
806. - Yeah.
- Well, are you?Copy !req
807. - Turn it back on!Copy !req
808. - Well, sure.
Just-just scared is all.Copy !req
809. - You don't have to be,
not with me around.Copy !req
810. - I like the pool better.
- So we've heard.Copy !req
811. - Just gotta find that valve.Copy !req
812. - I reject Tommy Kirk
and all his works.Copy !req
813. Oh, God!
Close your shirt!Copy !req
814. We have
your chest surrounded!Copy !req
815. Ha, ha!Copy !req
816. - The yard gnomes
come to life.Copy !req
817. - Very, very,
white-collar crime.Copy !req
818. - Maybe we'll just meet the—
Uh hey, you're already here.Copy !req
819. - I have been
dying to get in hereCopy !req
820. and clean this basement!Copy !req
821. - Oh, yah know
I heard he's on
the window pane.Copy !req
822. - No?
- Ha, ha! Yeah.Copy !req
823. - Oh, my.
- Never freak out.Copy !req
824. - Blue hems.
- The Johnson teen door,Copy !req
825. so your teen
can get in and out easily.Copy !req
826. - Uh, Meow, Meow, ah, mm.Copy !req
827. - Look outside,
it's daylight again!Copy !req
828. - The Ventures
are down here somewhere.Copy !req
829. - Cool.Copy !req
830. - Huh, big dead spider, hm.Copy !req
831. Sign, sign, everywhere a sign.Copy !req
832. Twin reverb.Copy !req
833. - He is so close
to being Billy Mumy.Copy !req
834. Hm, Billy Mumy.Copy !req
835. - Mom? Mother?Copy !req
836. Oh, Mother!
Ohoh, it's her!Copy !req
837. Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!Copy !req
838. - Let him have his father.Copy !req
839. Mommy... Mommy.Copy !req
840. My roots.Copy !req
841. - Drink it!
Finish it!Copy !req
842. - Well,
enough window shopping
better get at it.Copy !req
843. It's startin'
to get dark again.Copy !req
844. - This part is very true
to the H.G. Wells book.Copy !req
845. - Yeah.
♪ ... So easy to loveCopy !req
846. - He is
self-consciously dreamy.Copy !req
847. - Ah! How long
have you been there? Ha-ha!Copy !req
848. - was easy back then.
♪ Loved meCopy !req
849. - Yep, Chuck Connors
pretty much saidCopy !req
850. I was
the best kid actor alive,
ever, in the world.Copy !req
851. - You know he probably
wouldn't be as stupidCopy !req
852. as to hide it in here,
but I'll check.Copy !req
853. - Boi-oi-oi-oing!Copy !req
854. - Hey, he saved the cartilage
from his knee surgery.Copy !req
855. - Good gravy!
Great Goo!Copy !req
856. - There you go,
that'll be a buck forty-nine.Copy !req
857. Thanks for stopping by.Copy !req
858. - Uh— Ah, yeah.Copy !req
859. I'm gonna grab some steaks
out of the freezer over there.Copy !req
860. - Don't-don't you touch!Copy !req
861. She cannot be bought
for pocket change!Copy !req
862. What? What-what?Copy !req
863. Mom! Oh, no, no!Copy !req
864. She's putting out
for a nickel!Copy !req
865. I have no mother!Copy !req
866. Oh, oh, oh, oh...Copy !req
867. - What a dumb kid.Copy !req
868. - There!
- Ahh!Copy !req
869. - Well, it looks like
he'll have to cut his foot offCopy !req
870. - with his penknife.Copy !req
871. - What are we, in Europe?Copy !req
872. - What on earth!
- Apparently you were great!Copy !req
873. - What goes on up there?
♪ It's a star, a starCopy !req
874. - Works fine, doesn't it?
- Yeah.Copy !req
875. - The burglar alarm?Copy !req
876. - Da-da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da!Copy !req
877. - What kind of a dress-code
does this town have?Copy !req
878. - Hey come on,
let's get out of here!Copy !req
879. - Oh, seeing
Tommy Kirk in shortsCopy !req
880. would make me back off, too.Copy !req
881. - Come on,
surrender 'the pink.'Copy !req
882. - Come on.Copy !req
883. - Huh?Copy !req
884. Oh.Copy !req
885. - It's just fruit-fly medium.Copy !req
886. - Hah, are we a mime troupe
all of a sudden?Copy !req
887. Ooh, oop.
Aaa... Oh, there it goes.Copy !req
888. Ha, ha, ha.
Oh, where is it?Copy !req
889. Whoa!Copy !req
890. - You made my shirt a bra!
- I love you.Copy !req
891. - You know,Copy !req
892. those grass stains
will never come out.Copy !req
893. Jim Begg!Copy !req
894. - Sgt. Begg!Copy !req
895. - "Affectionately funny."Copy !req
896. - Okay Mike,
it's your turn to sign
the card for Frank.Copy !req
897. - Yeah, thanks.
You know, this is pretty and allCopy !req
898. but, uh, isn't it
really more appropriateCopy !req
899. for the death
of a loved one?Copy !req
900. - Well,
it was either this one
or 'For A Special GirlCopy !req
901. - on her First Communion.'
- Whoa, heads up, guys!Copy !req
902. We got something coming in
on the Hem sphere.Copy !req
903. - Oh.
- Frank?Copy !req
904. - Frank.
- Frank!Copy !req
905. - Hey, hi guys.
Hey, you gotta help me out, man.Copy !req
906. - Frank, where are you?Copy !req
907. - Oh, I'm
in the janitors closet.Copy !req
908. - I was supposed to be out
at Deep 13 a while agoCopy !req
909. and Dr. Forrester's
hassling me for phone money.Copy !req
910. - Oh man.
That's rough, man.Copy !req
911. - Say, would you guys, ah,Copy !req
912. sign my unemployment thing
for unemploymentCopy !req
913. that says I've been
seeking employment and stuff?Copy !req
914. Could you make like
I applied for a job here?Copy !req
915. - Well, Frank, that's fraud.
I mean, I guess we'd at leastCopy !req
916. have to interview you
for a position.Copy !req
917. - Even though we're not
really hiring at this time.Copy !req
918. - Okay, go ahead. Shoot.
- Okay, Mr. Frank.Copy !req
919. Ah, describe
some of the challenges you met
in your last job.Copy !req
920. - Well, Dr. Forrester
would kill me a lot,Copy !req
921. so, time management
was really crucial.Copy !req
922. - You're not
gonna have babies, are you?Copy !req
923. - Crow...
- Oh now, tell me aboutCopy !req
924. your interpersonal style.Copy !req
925. - Well, I ah,Copy !req
926. I have a hard time, um...Copy !req
927. - communicating with people.
- Oh yeah, uh-huh.Copy !req
928. - And I tend
to settle disagreements
through violence.Copy !req
929. - Hm, I see. Yeah.Copy !req
930. - Oh, and I pilfer
from all of my employers.Copy !req
931. - Oh, what—Copy !req
932. - Frank? Frank!
- Dr. Forrest—Copy !req
933. - You come out of there
right now, Frank!Copy !req
934. - Dr. Forrester,
I'm in here!Copy !req
935. - Hm, wow.
- Ah.Copy !req
936. Man...Copy !req
937. I'm at a total crossroads
in my life.Copy !req
938. Say, this burrito's
really good.Copy !req
939. - Well, bye Frank.
- Good luck, Frank.Copy !req
940. - Wow.Copy !req
941. - Frank's looking really rough.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
942. - Well,
we could always createCopy !req
943. - a position for him.
- Huh, I got a position...Copy !req
944. - Who won?
- Poor Frank.Copy !req
945. - We did.Copy !req
946. Don't we always?Copy !req
947. - Yeah, that's uh—
- Eck.Copy !req
948. - Who got the Goo?
- They got it.Copy !req
949. One of them ran off with it.
I was going to stop him, but—Copy !req
950. - But what?Copy !req
951. - Reasons of pure logic.
He was bigger than me.Copy !req
952. - Duh-dum-chi!
- Holy smoldering crawdads.Copy !req
953. - Well, at least
Tommy's terry-top is intact.Copy !req
954. - Don't worry,
as soon as I find the formula,Copy !req
955. I'll simply make some more.Copy !req
956. - Just hope you can.Copy !req
957. - Sure I can,
there's nothing to it.Copy !req
958. Just a matter
of perseverance.Copy !req
959. - Uh, that switch came on.
- Uh-hah!Copy !req
960. This guy
went to Peter Breck
acting school.Copy !req
961. - That one.Copy !req
962. - Just put a shell on himCopy !req
963. and he's
a teenage mutant
ninja turtle.Copy !req
964. - And then there was light.Copy !req
965. - Hm, I thought
God would dress better.Copy !req
966. - Eh man, while that lasted
it was a pretty good rumble.Copy !req
967. - Anyone get hurt?
- Besides me losing my brain.Copy !req
968. Fred!Copy !req
969. - Ah no, uh, two more minutes
and I'd have flattened him.Copy !req
970. - Okay, now we got it.Copy !req
971. What're we gonna do with it?Copy !req
972. - We get rich,
that's what we do with it.Copy !req
973. - I know,
let's do a production
of 'Our Town'!Copy !req
974. - I wonder if this makes
everything grow, huh?Copy !req
975. - Everything?Copy !req
976. - You mean like, uh,
plants and things?Copy !req
977. - No, I don't think
that's what he means at all.Copy !req
978. - Hey, don't be a jerk, huh?
- Too late.Copy !req
979. - What's the matter, Fred?
Running scared?Copy !req
980. - Yeah, he's scared.
- No, I just got more sense.Copy !req
981. That's all.Copy !req
982. - You always said
you wanted to be a big man,Copy !req
983. now is your chance.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
984. - I see what you mean, Gary.
- Yeah, a real big man.Copy !req
985. - Unless you're scared.
- Show 'em, Fred.Copy !req
986. Show 'em that
you're not no chicken.Copy !req
987. - Hey, will you cut it out!
- It's the 'Reader's Theatre'Copy !req
988. - version of 'Noises Off.'
- Yeah, that's a wild idea, man.Copy !req
989. - He's gonna chicken out.
- A chicken, huh?Copy !req
990. - Are you?
- Merrie?Copy !req
991. Are you out of your mind?Copy !req
992. - Uh... what?Copy !req
993. - Hey, will you cut it out
and leave it alone, huh?Copy !req
994. - Listen, Freddy-boy,
if I want to try
some of this stuffCopy !req
995. just don't you try
and stop me, understand?Copy !req
996. It's 'cause
you're some kind of coward.Copy !req
997. - What, ar-are you
trying to prove something?Copy !req
998. Are you tryin' to proveCopy !req
999. - somethin'?
- Yeah. I'm trying to proveCopy !req
1000. you're all talk.Copy !req
1001. - All talk and no performance.
- He's been eating the spies.Copy !req
1002. - The spies.
- The spies.Copy !req
1003. - The rest of the herd
awaits the outcome.Copy !req
1004. - Pete,
you better do something.Copy !req
1005. - Like get me
the rest of my outfit.Copy !req
1006. - Pete?Copy !req
1007. - No, why should I?
This could be very interesting.Copy !req
1008. - Yeah, yeah eh—
you want to try some of it, huh?Copy !req
1009. - Wow.
- I will if you will.Copy !req
1010. - Mm-mm,
you're on the spot, lover.Copy !req
1011. - No!
- Shut up!Copy !req
1012. - All right,
give me your knife, huh?Copy !req
1013. - Come on.
- Huh?Copy !req
1014. - Knife, yeah, well.Copy !req
1015. - Here you go.
- Whoa!Copy !req
1016. - I'm gonna moon you, man.Copy !req
1017. - Let's see there's uh,
two, four six, eight of us.Copy !req
1018. That's eight pieces.Copy !req
1019. - Oh, oh no,
not on the water bed, kids, no.Copy !req
1020. No, no.Copy !req
1021. - Oh dear,
make mine half that big.Copy !req
1022. - Oh, I shouldn't
have any at all.Copy !req
1023. I've eaten so much
over the holidays.Copy !req
1024. - It all looks so good.Copy !req
1025. - I'm gonna
eat my dessert first.Copy !req
1026. - You should see my thighs.Copy !req
1027. - Not me Fred,
heh, count me out.Copy !req
1028. - I ate a couple
of days ago. Heh.Copy !req
1029. - You too honey,
just like the rest of us.Copy !req
1030. - We all take it.Copy !req
1031. - Well come on, take it!
- Why, I usually have itCopy !req
1032. - on a Ry Krisp.
- And nobody chickens out,Copy !req
1033. all right? Nobody!Copy !req
1034. - Well?Copy !req
1035. - Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
1036. You ate it,
you fell for it.Copy !req
1037. - Uh, hah.Copy !req
1038. - Oh, just get a room!Copy !req
1039. - Eh-hehe,
will my melanoma grow, too?Copy !req
1040. - She's been pan fried.
- Well, eat it honey,Copy !req
1041. don't be scared.Copy !req
1042. Ha, ha!Copy !req
1043. - Well, you know
girls at that age
grow very quickly.Copy !req
1044. - Whoa!Copy !req
1045. - Oh, it went right to my hips.Copy !req
1046. - Heh, it's tasty
and it makes me tan and stuff!Copy !req
1047. - Huh?Copy !req
1048. I forgot to wear a bra!Copy !req
1049. - Ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
1050. - Wow,
the Maiden-formless woman.Copy !req
1051. You'll never know
where she'll turn up.Copy !req
1052. - The ravaging effects
of Osgood-Schlatters Disease!Copy !req
1053. - Oh.Copy !req
1054. - Beau knows acting.
- Yeah,Copy !req
1055. well now he's
the Brawny paper towel guy.Copy !req
1056. - Geez, we could've
won the war with these kids.Copy !req
1057. - Ooh.Copy !req
1058. - This is great— Doh!Copy !req
1059. I didn't grow
proportionately!Copy !req
1060. - Ohh, no.Copy !req
1061. - Well, she's really got
her hands full.Copy !req
1062. - Oh, yes.Copy !req
1063. - Heh, heh, heh!Copy !req
1064. - The horn section's
growing, too.Copy !req
1065. - Yes, I can tell, heh.Copy !req
1066. - The first thing we do
is get ourselvesCopy !req
1067. to a Lane Bryant.Copy !req
1068. - Heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
1069. - What's the matter hotshot,Copy !req
1070. don't you like your new size?Copy !req
1071. - Shut up,
little weird guy.Copy !req
1072. - I was big enough before.
- Ha, ha!Copy !req
1073. - Hah.
Look what happened to us.Copy !req
1074. And all these girls
can think of is their...Copy !req
1075. modesty!
Heh, ha, ha!Copy !req
1076. - Ah, please take a moment
and consider your own modesty.Copy !req
1077. - Fred, what have we done?
- Well?Copy !req
1078. - Well, whatever it is,
we're stuck with it.Copy !req
1079. - 'Stuck with it'?
So why don't we make
the most of it?Copy !req
1080. - It's gonna make a difference.
- I hope they eat him first.Copy !req
1081. - Yeah. I was just thinkin'.
Wait till my old manCopy !req
1082. gets 'tough'
with me again, huh?Copy !req
1083. - But he probably won't
'cause you're big.Copy !req
1084. - We're freaks, Rick.Copy !req
1085. - Tall girls haveCopy !req
1086. - a tough enough time dating.
- Maybe we are,Copy !req
1087. you just wait'll
the next guy asks me
for my I.D. card,Copy !req
1088. - oh, boy!
- Yeah,Copy !req
1089. now maybe it won't be so easy
for them to kick us anymore.Copy !req
1090. - Yeah!
- Them?Copy !req
1091. - The adults, honey.
- Oh.Copy !req
1092. - This isn't
their world anymore,Copy !req
1093. it's gonna be ours!Copy !req
1094. - Yeah...Copy !req
1095. we'll turn the tables on them.Copy !req
1096. - Whaa-t?
- Come on, let's splitCopy !req
1097. - and have some fun, huh?Copy !req
1098. - Yeah.
- Let's get out of here, huh?Copy !req
1099. - But I don't
have anything to wear.Copy !req
1100. - We know. Heh, heh.Copy !req
1101. - Be my guest.
- Ee-gah!Copy !req
1102. - Uh, it's stuff
that I'm happy about.Copy !req
1103. Ha, ha.Copy !req
1104. - Ponds & Opie.Copy !req
1105. - He tampered in God's domain.Copy !req
1106. - Ugh, doggie breath,
lots of it.Copy !req
1107. - Hm, Aunt Bea's got diabetes.Copy !req
1108. - Why are we here?Copy !req
1109. - Hey, it's 'up with people'!Copy !req
1110. Ha, ha, ha!
Heh— Oh.Copy !req
1111. - This is David Duke's dream.Copy !req
1112. - Ha, ha!Copy !req
1113. - Well?Copy !req
1114. Hm.Copy !req
1115. Oh, giants look
pretty good this year, huh?Copy !req
1116. - Yeah.Copy !req
1117. Hey, where's Waldo?Copy !req
1118. - Should, uh,
someone mention they're big?Copy !req
1119. - Hey,
now what happened
to the music?Copy !req
1120. - Let's wail!
- Wail?Copy !req
1121. - Yeah,
come on, let's dance.Copy !req
1122. - Oh, wow.Copy !req
1123. - Ugh.
- Ugh.Copy !req
1124. - They think they're so big!Copy !req
1125. Hah!Copy !req
1126. - Their giant hinders
will kill us!Copy !req
1127. - I'll say.Copy !req
1128. Oh, man!Copy !req
1129. - The giant hinders
are approaching the city.Copy !req
1130. - So there was ecstasy
in the jell-o-stuff?Copy !req
1131. - I think so.
- Hm.Copy !req
1132. - She likes her job.
- I like her job, too.Copy !req
1133. - Whoa! One of those
could take out the whole town!Copy !req
1134. - Tummy.Copy !req
1135. - Oh, no.Copy !req
1136. Large...Copy !req
1137. large... big... large.Copy !req
1138. - Oh now it's almost like
that's gratuitous!Copy !req
1139. - Large.Copy !req
1140. - You could
probably stick your head
right in her navel.Copy !req
1141. - Oh ho, ho!
Don't think I haven't
thought of that.Copy !req
1142. - Go have a fling
with the Happy Chef.Copy !req
1143. - You know,
I'm starting to suspect
this might be padding.Copy !req
1144. - Oh, nonono—
- No, that's real.Copy !req
1145. - May I cut in?Copy !req
1146. - Wow, huh?Copy !req
1147. - Oh, my neck.Copy !req
1148. Ow!Copy !req
1149. - What big, giant,
pig-nosed teeners.Copy !req
1150. - Aw, men shouldn't shimmy!Copy !req
1151. - Especially
50-foot Beau Bridges.Copy !req
1152. - Boy, gettin' huge didn't
give 'em anymore rhythm, did it?Copy !req
1153. - Just think, now that girl
looks like leather,Copy !req
1154. smells like
Marlboro's and Giorgio,Copy !req
1155. and makes her grandchildren
call her by her first name.Copy !req
1156. Come here and give Rosie a kiss.Copy !req
1157. - Ha, ha!
- Ugh.Copy !req
1158. - Man. They're big.Copy !req
1159. - Heh,
this one gets 'em
every time.Copy !req
1160. - Don't hate me
'cause I'm giant.Copy !req
1161. - Susan, I think
we should see other people!Copy !req
1162. - Whoa!Copy !req
1163. - Whew, glad that's not me.Copy !req
1164. I'd hate it.Copy !req
1165. - First base
is larger than I remember!Copy !req
1166. - Oh, if she hugs anybody,
it'll kill him.Copy !req
1167. - Ohwawa-ohwawa-ohwawa!Copy !req
1168. - Wow.Copy !req
1169. - Be careful
what you wish for!Copy !req
1170. - Ha-ha!Copy !req
1171. - Uh, think they'd mind
if we all left?Copy !req
1172. - Giant teens
should have really thought outCopy !req
1173. - their reign of terror.
- Right.Copy !req
1174. Yyyyeeeaaahhhhh...Copy !req
1175. - I'd love
to see you again sometime!Copy !req
1176. - How come Glenn Manning
wasn't this much fun!Copy !req
1177. - Urban cowboob.Copy !req
1178. - It can be over now.Copy !req
1179. - This is all fun for now,
but they're still gonnaCopy !req
1180. have to go back
to college come the fall.Copy !req
1181. - Can this be over?
Please be over.Copy !req
1182. - Loo— Uh,
I'm gonna get going.Copy !req
1183. - Sure,
they're big and stuff,Copy !req
1184. but it gets old.Copy !req
1185. - Ah-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!Copy !req
1186. - Mwuh-huh-huuh.Copy !req
1187. - I'll harm you!Copy !req
1188. - Ooooowwwww!Copy !req
1189. - Tell her to put him down...
- Doh, wow.Copy !req
1190. - or I'll beat
the daylights out of you!Copy !req
1191. - Huh?Copy !req
1192. - Yes!
- All right!Copy !req
1193. - Ha-ha-ha!
- All right! Yeah!Copy !req
1194. - Hey, she's going
after his wallet.Copy !req
1195. - I'm not done!Copy !req
1196. - Mike?
- I stubbed my shorts.Copy !req
1197. - The time has come
for pants, Mike.Copy !req
1198. - Now, uh,
let's cut it out, huh?Copy !req
1199. I mean, you little guys
are taking this all wrong.Copy !req
1200. - We're on your side.
- Whose turn is itCopy !req
1201. - for the breast ride?
- All of us against the adults.Copy !req
1202. - Now how 'bout that, huh?
We're taking over them.Copy !req
1203. And you regular guys
are gonna be part of this,Copy !req
1204. we're just gonna help you.Copy !req
1205. - Yeah well, what if we don't
wanna be a part of it?Copy !req
1206. - What?
- How can you say that,Copy !req
1207. I mean, haven't they
kicked you around long enough?Copy !req
1208. - Maybe we don't
like your club either!Copy !req
1209. - You're in it anyway.Copy !req
1210. - Look, free breasts rides
and we'll waive membership fees.Copy !req
1211. - You have
nothing to worry about.Copy !req
1212. - Because when we've...
- Oh I'm already worried,Copy !req
1213. I'm worried about
how funny you really are.Copy !req
1214. - Hecklers.
- 'We take over,' huh?Copy !req
1215. - Oh, you're just
trying to trade places
with them is all.Copy !req
1216. It's the same result,
if you had any brains,Copy !req
1217. - you'd see that!
- How very animal farm-ist.Copy !req
1218. - Hey man,
this guy's a lousy rebel.Copy !req
1219. - And he'll never ever
be any good.Copy !req
1220. - Look uh,Copy !req
1221. whether you like it
or not, little man,Copy !req
1222. we're just gonna
have to show youCopy !req
1223. what's good for ya.
That's all.Copy !req
1224. What's good for
all of us teenagers.Copy !req
1225. - Now pray
to my satin tap-pants!Copy !req
1226. - Oh... the cops.Copy !req
1227. - All right kids, listen!
- Oh no, Glen Super's here.Copy !req
1228. - There's just a little bit
too much noise, now—Copy !req
1229. - Sheriff.
I think I'm seeing things.Copy !req
1230. - Yeah, I'm seeing 'em
but I don't like 'em.Copy !req
1231. Now everybody back,
go home and—Copy !req
1232. - Sheriff, look up there.Copy !req
1233. - Why can't you
take care of things—Copy !req
1234. - Boing.Copy !req
1235. - For crying out loud,
now what's this?Copy !req
1236. - A big giant teen, sir?
- Your guess is as good as mine.Copy !req
1237. - Listen, I don't
pretend to understandCopy !req
1238. - what's going on around here.
- What? Speak up!Copy !req
1239. But I heard the theatre
was broken into last night—Copy !req
1240. - Huh?Copy !req
1241. - I got a pretty good idea
who did the breaking into.Copy !req
1242. - 'Cause there wasn't
one roll of toilet paper left.Copy !req
1243. - I want you to go back
to the theatre and wait there.Copy !req
1244. - Why don't you
shut up and go home, Sheriff?Copy !req
1245. - You didn't have to say that.Copy !req
1246. - Now listen, you go back
and wait there for me,Copy !req
1247. do you understand,
is that clear?Copy !req
1248. - Anything you say,
Sheriff,Copy !req
1249. you're the boss.Copy !req
1250. - Unless...Copy !req
1251. how long do you think
it would take meCopy !req
1252. to bend that rifle
around your neck, Sheriff?Copy !req
1253. - All right that's it,
get in the car, son!Copy !req
1254. - Or why don't
we just step on them?Copy !req
1255. - Both of them!Copy !req
1256. - Yeah,
why don't I do that?Copy !req
1257. I never did like the fuzz...Copy !req
1258. - Okay—Copy !req
1259. Man, okay, okay.Copy !req
1260. - Don't touch
my bare chest, Beau.Copy !req
1261. - Sure, Sheriff,Copy !req
1262. - there's no problem.
- Still a coward, eh?Copy !req
1263. - Do like he says, Rick.Copy !req
1264. Leave him alone.
Let's get back.Copy !req
1265. - You little...Copy !req
1266. - Okay, Sheriff,
we've given your idea
a lot of thought,Copy !req
1267. and we've
decided to step on you.Copy !req
1268. - Now Sheriff, listen,Copy !req
1269. you-you really are a big man.Copy !req
1270. At least uh,Copy !req
1271. you were until we came.Copy !req
1272. - Hm.
- Uh but, uh,Copy !req
1273. - like you say...
- Boy, they're big!Copy !req
1274. - we'll go right back
to the theatre.Copy !req
1275. - Still big.
- No gunsCopy !req
1276. you have to worry about,Copy !req
1277. nothin'.Copy !req
1278. - Hm.Copy !req
1279. - M-ah, they're big.Copy !req
1280. - Well, uh, bye then.Copy !req
1281. Bye.Copy !req
1282. - Every time we get
big people through hereCopy !req
1283. there's trouble,
isn't there?Copy !req
1284. - Okay, show of hands,
who wet 'em?Copy !req
1285. - I wet mine and yours, sir.
- Oh.Copy !req
1286. - Mike, are you all right?
- Yeah, sure, I just feel likeCopy !req
1287. I've been hit
by a ton of bricks.Copy !req
1288. - Would some pants help, son?
- Oh, Mike.Copy !req
1289. - It's all right.
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
1290. Tonight right here on our stage,Copy !req
1291. a really big show,
big-big-big-big- big, show.Copy !req
1292. - They wanted to do
"Little Women," but they can't!Copy !req
1293. - Sorry.Copy !req
1294. They're big. Big.Copy !req
1295. - How'd you sleep, honey?Copy !req
1296. - You get a good rest?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
1297. Hey Fred,
what's gonna happen to us?Copy !req
1298. - We'll probably
get drafted by the calves.Copy !req
1299. - I don't know, uh,
as long as it lasts,Copy !req
1300. I guess we'll just
have to live with it.Copy !req
1301. ♪ We hate you ConradCopy !req
1302. - Let me do the talking.Copy !req
1303. - What? Wait a minute men,
this is a studio lot.Copy !req
1304. - I want
the rest of you men
to wait here.Copy !req
1305. - Hello, freaks.
- Hello.Copy !req
1306. - W-what?
- They're coming.Copy !req
1307. - Mike and the Sheriff.
He's got a gun.Copy !req
1308. - Hm.
- A gun?Copy !req
1309. - Yep.Copy !req
1310. - No sweat.
It's been taken care of.Copy !req
1311. - I shaved my legs.Copy !req
1312. - You get her?
- Yep.Copy !req
1313. - Don't touch that.
- Where is she?Copy !req
1314. - Out of sight.
- Hey now, what is happening?Copy !req
1315. - [Imitating Dramatic
Music Intro]Copy !req
1316. - You'll see.Copy !req
1317. - We got ourselves
some insurance.Copy !req
1318. - I'm hungry, too.
What's for breakfast?Copy !req
1319. - A humunga-chunga.Copy !req
1320. - Sheriff on toast.Copy !req
1321. - Okay, let's take it
from the top!Copy !req
1322. - Morning Sheriff, Mike.Copy !req
1323. - All right,
let's get one thing clear.Copy !req
1324. Are you catching this?Copy !req
1325. - I said
I don't understand
what's happening,Copy !req
1326. I'm not gonna worry about it.Copy !req
1327. But last night
you people showed meCopy !req
1328. - the kind of trouble—
- What? Huh? What?Copy !req
1329. - In this town,
trouble is one thing that
I just won't have!Copy !req
1330. - The whole town
says they're sorry,Copy !req
1331. now would you quit
peeing in the pools?Copy !req
1332. - I want you all out of town
in an hour, is that clear?Copy !req
1333. Get out and don't come back.Copy !req
1334. - Yeah well,
that-that's clear enough,
Sheriff, only uh,Copy !req
1335. I mean, we kind of like it
here, you know,Copy !req
1336. we kind of figure
we might stay.Copy !req
1337. - And there's nothing
you can do about it.Copy !req
1338. - Nothing.Copy !req
1339. - Well, you'll
just do what I sayCopy !req
1340. or there'll be some trouble.Copy !req
1341. - Oh no kidding, uh,
what kind of trouble, Sheriff?Copy !req
1342. - You aiming to use that gun?Copy !req
1343. - If I have to, yes.Copy !req
1344. - Sheriff,
how many guns do you haveCopy !req
1345. in this town, huh?Copy !req
1346. - Look,
that's no concern of yours,
you're leaving.Copy !req
1347. - Oh, don't make book on it.Copy !req
1348. When Fred wants something,Copy !req
1349. - he usually gets it.
- She oughta know.Copy !req
1350. - Don't ya, honey?Copy !req
1351. - Thank you, honey, and men.Copy !req
1352. - You better believe it.Copy !req
1353. - What makes you think
I can't arrest you?Copy !req
1354. - What?
- Oh now Sheriff,Copy !req
1355. you-you'd shoot me
in cold blood?Copy !req
1356. - Why don't you
grab a seat, nurse?Copy !req
1357. I think I see
two together over there.Copy !req
1358. - This is gonna be
mighty interesting.Copy !req
1359. - The world's
biggest Cub Scout.Copy !req
1360. - How was your daughter
when you left her this morning?Copy !req
1361. - She was watchin'
that stupid Barney show!Copy !req
1362. - Show 'em, Rick-boy.Copy !req
1363. - Yeah, show 'em
what's goin' on here,Copy !req
1364. I don't know.
I don't know.Copy !req
1365. - Huh?
- Daddy! Daddy!Copy !req
1366. Make him put me down!
Please, Daddy!Copy !req
1367. - Sorry, honey,
needs to the many and all.Copy !req
1368. - Go ahead Sheriff,
use your gun,Copy !req
1369. - cut me down.
- Make her day.Copy !req
1370. - But if you miss,
you might hit thisCopy !req
1371. loud, screaming
little brat of yours.Copy !req
1372. - Be nice to the giant honey,
or he'll squish ya.Copy !req
1373. Cora dear,
be still, don't move.Copy !req
1374. - That's not such a bad idea.Copy !req
1375. - What isn't,
wha-what's goin' on?Copy !req
1376. - Did I miss a page?
- I don't like it, see,Copy !req
1377. and I am the guyCopy !req
1378. that gives the word
around here.Copy !req
1379. - Like I said, Boss,Copy !req
1380. we got ourselves
some insurance.Copy !req
1381. - It's something we need.
They brought guns, remember?Copy !req
1382. - Just like always,
'keep the kids in line.'Copy !req
1383. - Wait a minute,
if they're this huge,Copy !req
1384. - and they have to extort?
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
1385. - But I don't like it.
- Oh, Pete!Copy !req
1386. - Don't worry,
nobody's gonna hurt her.Copy !req
1387. As long as the Sheriff
is gonna play ball with us.Copy !req
1388. - Can we not play bombardment?
You guys have the advantage.Copy !req
1389. - All right.Copy !req
1390. - There's my guns.Copy !req
1391. - Rick, uh,Copy !req
1392. are you sure
you know what you're doing?Copy !req
1393. - Put her down now!Copy !req
1394. - Now! Right now!Copy !req
1395. - Or not, whatever.Copy !req
1396. That'll do.Copy !req
1397. - What?
- You hear that, Fred?Copy !req
1398. Anything we want,
that's what he said.Copy !req
1399. - All right man, all right.Copy !req
1400. - Okay, we want huge underroos,
gigantic flush toilets,Copy !req
1401. - and a four-day work week.
- Now, uh, Sheriff,Copy !req
1402. we are going to take over
this town and, uh,Copy !req
1403. we are gonna make
quite a few changes.Copy !req
1404. Now first of all,
there's gonna be aCopy !req
1405. 9 o'clock curfew
for all adults.Copy !req
1406. How do you like that, huh?Copy !req
1407. - You'll all
have freedom of speech.Copy !req
1408. Just as long as
we approve of what you say.Copy !req
1409. - The young Jessie Helms.
- A working partyCopy !req
1410. is going to have to find
food for us everyday.Copy !req
1411. - And uh,
- We want French lessons.Copy !req
1412. - well needless to say
our appetites are gonna beCopy !req
1413. - pretty big, hm?
- 'Cause we've been working out.Copy !req
1414. - In fact uh...
- We're big.Copy !req
1415. why don't we start
with something right now, huh?Copy !req
1416. Mike, uh,
why don't you get me uh,Copy !req
1417. - some chicken?
- Why don't you—!Copy !req
1418. - Pause.
- Mike, Mike, Mike.Copy !req
1419. - Okay, co-come on, boy,
jump to it.Copy !req
1420. - Mike, come on,
there, that's a boy, yeah.Copy !req
1421. - Do what he says, go ahead.Copy !req
1422. I like to see Tommy Kirk
get pushed around.Copy !req
1423. - Now uh, Rick, Harry,Copy !req
1424. now you guys know
what you gotta do, huh?Copy !req
1425. Now I want you to take care
of all the communication,Copy !req
1426. knock out
the telephones, radios...Copy !req
1427. - The radios, yeah.Copy !req
1428. - That's it.
- Put me down!Copy !req
1429. - The Little Mermaid
of Copenhagen.Copy !req
1430. - All right.Copy !req
1431. - Wha-what?Copy !req
1432. - All right,
I'll say it again—Copy !req
1433. Speak up!Copy !req
1434. - If you can just hear me,
I'm reading you the riot act!Copy !req
1435. - No, she stays right here.Copy !req
1436. Now you, you do just as
you're told Sheriff,Copy !req
1437. and nobody is gonna get hurt.Copy !req
1438. - And one more thing,
Sheriff.Copy !req
1439. We want all the guns
in the town brought here.Copy !req
1440. - Is that clear?
- Then I'll take my child home?Copy !req
1441. - W-what?
- We'll take care of her.Copy !req
1442. - Yeah,
we'll take care of herCopy !req
1443. just as long as
you do what you're told.Copy !req
1444. - Well,
you do as you're told...Copy !req
1445. - Ah, those friggin
theatre people.Copy !req
1446. - You see, Fred-boy?Copy !req
1447. All it takes
is a little cooperation.Copy !req
1448. - And some hot rollers.Copy !req
1449. - We're really
gonna take over this town.Copy !req
1450. - Hey, you know,
Ron must've gotten directing
tips from Bert I.Copy !req
1451. - Heh-ah!
That's why he made Willow.Copy !req
1452. - Hey, I liked Willow.
- Uh well, you with the-whoa!Copy !req
1453. - Ugh.
- Hey, Cthulhu!Copy !req
1454. - It's a robotic toily-brush.
- Yeech!Copy !req
1455. - It's going into
Charles Bukowski's sink!Copy !req
1456. - Well,
back to the old drawing board.Copy !req
1457. - I inhabit a
nightmarish universeCopy !req
1458. all on my own.Copy !req
1459. Hm-mm, Willow. Hm.Copy !req
1460. - I'll have to remember
to try that again sometime.Copy !req
1461. - Whaa-whaa-whaa.Copy !req
1462. Dum...Copy !req
1463. Opie's first martini.Copy !req
1464. - Should a boy
offer a dog a martini?Copy !req
1465. - No.Copy !req
1466. - The NRA nightmare.Copy !req
1467. - You'll regret this!Copy !req
1468. - You mark my words!Copy !req
1469. - Save your
bad temper Sheriff,Copy !req
1470. till you can find
a better use for it.Copy !req
1471. - What?
- Hey, sweetie!Copy !req
1472. - Hey, what's goin' on, babe?Copy !req
1473. - Stop it!
- Hey, how 'bout a little date.Copy !req
1474. - Just move along, citizens.
- Come on, what're you doin'?Copy !req
1475. - How's the weather up there?
- Stop it now!Copy !req
1476. Hey, an article
by William Safire.Copy !req
1477. - It's so ironic!Copy !req
1478. - Uh sir,
we can't break a twenty.Copy !req
1479. - And we're still working on
your huge sporks.Copy !req
1480. Heh, eh, eh!Copy !req
1481. - Num-num-num-num.Copy !req
1482. - Must be Classic Coke.
- Mike, you are amazing man,Copy !req
1483. really you're doing just fine,Copy !req
1484. I don't think I could do
any better myself.Copy !req
1485. - Yeah, yeah, yeah,Copy !req
1486. we might even
put you in chargeCopy !req
1487. of supervising
the-uh, adults.Copy !req
1488. - Ha, ha!
Hey, why not man, really.Copy !req
1489. - You're beautiful, baby.
- You and a few of your friends,Copy !req
1490. we'll put you in charge
of checkingCopy !req
1491. - adult I.D. Cards, huh?
- Wow, a job!Copy !req
1492. - You know,
just kinda keeping an eyeCopy !req
1493. on their social activities,Copy !req
1494. make sure
they keep out of troubleCopy !req
1495. - and, you know. Hm?
- Do you have any dark meat?Copy !req
1496. - And our music,
they've gotta leave it alone.Copy !req
1497. - Oh, quite definitely.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1498. - Well,
we're done being sarcastic,
you can leave now.Copy !req
1499. - Hey uh, man,Copy !req
1500. wha-what're you
just standing there for, huh?Copy !req
1501. - We need coleslaw
and wet napkins, man!Copy !req
1502. - De-part, man.
Leave!Copy !req
1503. - I feel really unappreciated.Copy !req
1504. - It's up to us now, Horsey.Copy !req
1505. There's only one thing
we can do.Copy !req
1506. - Wear little, tiny pants.
- But there's nothing we can do.Copy !req
1507. Not while
they have a hostage.Copy !req
1508. - That's just it.
- We'll sacrifice the hostage.Copy !req
1509. - We've gotta get us
a hostage of our own.Copy !req
1510. - Terry Anderson.
- Oh.Copy !req
1511. - A giant stripper!Copy !req
1512. ♪ Wha-wa, waahCopy !req
1513. - Ohh, someone stinky's
got a pants full!Copy !req
1514. - Look,
Ed Gein's the driver.Copy !req
1515. - Ow.Copy !req
1516. - Ooh, they're funny cars,Copy !req
1517. - but they're
really not that funny.Copy !req
1518. - Mmm-mm?Copy !req
1519. - Peter Fonda!Copy !req
1520. - Hey,
don't look up my... area.Copy !req
1521. - Ha, aw come on!Copy !req
1522. The FX in Willow
was better than this!Copy !req
1523. - Hey, you liked Willow.
- I—Copy !req
1524. - Man, are my legs ugly.Copy !req
1525. - Whew!Copy !req
1526. - Oh wait,
those aren't even my legs!Copy !req
1527. They're fiberglass.Copy !req
1528. - Ew, bad eczema.Copy !req
1529. - Whoa, that was stupid.
Shoulda seen it coming.Copy !req
1530. - I can't get my legs to move.Copy !req
1531. - Yeah.Copy !req
1532. - It's an elaborate plan
to inconvenience him.Copy !req
1533. - I get it,Copy !req
1534. I think she meant
to put this around my feet,Copy !req
1535. not those mannequin legs
down there.Copy !req
1536. - Yee-hoo!Copy !req
1537. - Suddenly,
he snaps a tether,Copy !req
1538. and kills a coolie!Copy !req
1539. Well, I-whoa!Copy !req
1540. - Oh no.Copy !req
1541. - Well I-uuuhhhmm?Copy !req
1542. - Whoa...!Copy !req
1543. - A buffalo shot
that covers three states!Copy !req
1544. - Just for the ladies!Copy !req
1545. Uhhhh, huh!Copy !req
1546. - Uh-uhuuu...Copy !req
1547. Bo-whoa-whoa-whoa,
whoa-whoa-whoa.Copy !req
1548. - Just lasso him, Tex.Copy !req
1549. - Kid gets his money's worth
out of the giant legs!Copy !req
1550. - I guess so.Copy !req
1551. - Bing! Near-near-no.Copy !req
1552. - Okay, take off!Copy !req
1553. - And a pool?
- Yes...Copy !req
1554. - Hey, hey, hey guys.
Look, I bet that's Frank.Copy !req
1555. - Hi, Mike.Copy !req
1556. Hi, Bots.Copy !req
1557. Just called to say goodbye.Copy !req
1558. You guys have been
the best victimsCopy !req
1559. a fella could ever want.Copy !req
1560. - Thanks.
- Oh.Copy !req
1561. - Uh Frank,
we'll miss you too,Copy !req
1562. but we'll always remember
the good times.Copy !req
1563. - Uh, in fact,
we have remembered
the good times.Copy !req
1564. Cambot helped us—Copy !req
1565. - Hit it!Copy !req
1566. TV's Frank,Copy !req
1567. this one's for you.Copy !req
1568. It's going out
to my very special friend.Copy !req
1569. - Please?Copy !req
1570. Please don't go.Copy !req
1571. - Bye-bye, Frank.Copy !req
1572. - You were enjoyed.Copy !req
1573. - Oh... I can't go.Copy !req
1574. I've given Dr. Forrester
my heart and soul and liver.Copy !req
1575. Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha!Copy !req
1576. Darn it!
I love this job!Copy !req
1577. I'm not gonna let some
smooth talking shark like TargoCopy !req
1578. take it away!Copy !req
1579. - That's right, Frank.Copy !req
1580. You've never given up
on anything in your life—Copy !req
1581. well, you have,
but don't give up on this one!Copy !req
1582. - You're right, Mike!Copy !req
1583. I've got to figure out some
sneaky dishonest wayCopy !req
1584. of reclaiming what I lost
fair and square.Copy !req
1585. But how?Copy !req
1586. Hmm...Copy !req
1587. - Whoa, I wonder what
he's got planned.Copy !req
1588. - Mike! Mike!Copy !req
1589. - What?
- Mike, don't!Copy !req
1590. - Let me go.
Let me go, I'll kill him!Copy !req
1591. - Geez, Snap, Crackle and Pop
couldn't hold him back.Copy !req
1592. - Okay fellas,Copy !req
1593. you want me
to leave her up thereCopy !req
1594. or shall I pluck her
down for you?Copy !req
1595. - What'll it be?
- Oh... leave her.Copy !req
1596. - Jim Begg.Copy !req
1597. - I heard the noise,Copy !req
1598. I figured
you might need some help.Copy !req
1599. Boy they almost got you,
didn't they?Copy !req
1600. - Nearly got me.Copy !req
1601. - I can laugh about it now.
- Take her down.Copy !req
1602. Take her to the theatre.Copy !req
1603. - This is like the Swiftian part
of a Fellini Film.Copy !req
1604. - And it's Kafkaesque.
- From now onCopy !req
1605. she's gonna stay with us.Copy !req
1606. - Mwuh, huh, huh.Copy !req
1607. - There's only one thing
we can do.Copy !req
1608. - Oo, we can make smores.
- We gotta get those guns.Copy !req
1609. - Jim Begg!Copy !req
1610. - Right.
- Jim Begg.Copy !req
1611. - So basically,
the problem is this—Copy !req
1612. - My hand's stuck.
- How to get into the theatre,Copy !req
1613. and get the guns
without getting discovered.Copy !req
1614. - Huh? Ah, ut— Oh.
- And how to put the guard,Copy !req
1615. whoever that may be,
out of action, long enoughCopy !req
1616. to recover the hostages
with the guns.Copy !req
1617. - That's not
going to be so easy.Copy !req
1618. If we try to pull anything,Copy !req
1619. who knows what's liable
to happen to that child?Copy !req
1620. - And you are?
- Or to Nancy.Copy !req
1621. - Hmm.
- Mike,Copy !req
1622. - there's nothing we can do.
- She's translucent!Copy !req
1623. - The road's still closed.Copy !req
1624. They don't even know outside
what's going on in here.Copy !req
1625. - Jim Begg.
- On our own is right,Copy !req
1626. the Sheriff
sure isn't much help.Copy !req
1627. - Not much he can do
under the circumstances.Copy !req
1628. - That's why it's up to us.
We better to raid the theatre.Copy !req
1629. - Oh no.Copy !req
1630. - Well, okay.
Jim Begg.Copy !req
1631. - They always seem to leave
just one guard on duty,Copy !req
1632. sort of like a sentry.Copy !req
1633. - Mike, we'll never
get away with it.Copy !req
1634. - We will.Copy !req
1635. And it's
just one thing we need.Copy !req
1636. - Jim Begg?
- Ether.Copy !req
1637. - Ether?Copy !req
1638. - I'm hornswaggled.Copy !req
1639. - Genius?
- Hm?Copy !req
1640. - We need your brains.Copy !req
1641. - Take your hand
out of your pocket!Copy !req
1642. - I just made Miller Clear.Copy !req
1643. - I thought you'd need me
sooner or later.Copy !req
1644. - Do you know
how to make Ether?Copy !req
1645. - Ether I do or I don't.
- It depends what kind you need.Copy !req
1646. Psyclopople, Methyl,
Ethanpople, Poponeil ethylCopy !req
1647. - or Psyclopople Vinylethel.
- Or poo-pah-poco-aca-pickle?Copy !req
1648. - These are all fairly easy.
If you want Dibynoxide,Copy !req
1649. it might be
a little more difficult.Copy !req
1650. Trichloroethane of course
is terribly complicated.Copy !req
1651. - Any good anesthetic.Copy !req
1652. - I have nitric acid
and calcium chloride.Copy !req
1653. If you give me some vodka
I could make you someCopy !req
1654. I could make you some
Diethyl-ether very easily.Copy !req
1655. - Vodka?
Dig this crazy kid.Copy !req
1656. - Or Whiskey.Copy !req
1657. - Any kind of alcohol really.
- Or pure heroin.Copy !req
1658. - If I were a little older,
of course.Copy !req
1659. - Yeah,
yeah we know about that.Copy !req
1660. Hey, do we have some alcohol
in the first-aid kit?Copy !req
1661. - Yeah, I'll get it.
- Oh wait, Clint drank it all.Copy !req
1662. - But even so,Copy !req
1663. - if we're disturbed.
- We won't be.Copy !req
1664. - You can't be sure of that.
- Jim Begg.Copy !req
1665. - The main thing is to keep
the rest of them away,Copy !req
1666. keep them occupied.Copy !req
1667. - Red's come up with a scheme
to keep the boys occupied.Copy !req
1668. - Don't worry.
- Hmm?Copy !req
1669. - The way I plan it,
the boys'll be watching me.Copy !req
1670. - Wow.
- And then?Copy !req
1671. - Jim Begg.Copy !req
1672. - We got a problem
with giants, right?Copy !req
1673. - Right.Copy !req
1674. - You ever heard of,
'David and Goliath"?Copy !req
1675. - Yeah, dopey cartoon-like
thing, right?Copy !req
1676. - Yeah.Copy !req
1677. - Our very own, Fannie Flagg!
- I'll say.Copy !req
1678. - If that were Lucy,
I'd have to kill myself.Copy !req
1679. - Huh.Copy !req
1680. - Hey, have some chicken, man!
- Yeah.Copy !req
1681. - Our teen dynasty here
isn't that great.Copy !req
1682. - Wild stuff.Copy !req
1683. - She really knows
how to move, doesn't she?Copy !req
1684. - Come on, it's like getting
turned-on by Thumbelina to them.Copy !req
1685. - Yeah.
- I know.Copy !req
1686. - Whoops, saw somethin'
on the floor there. Heh-heh!Copy !req
1687. - Hey baby,
I wish I was your size again.Copy !req
1688. - And I can wear that outfit.Copy !req
1689. - Didn't Tammy Wynette
donate that get-up to charity?Copy !req
1690. - You know, this isn't
the usual entertainmentCopy !req
1691. - with take-out chicken.
- Uh-uh.Copy !req
1692. - What was she
distracting them from again?Copy !req
1693. - I don't remember.Copy !req
1694. - Whoa,
kind of threadbare
back there.Copy !req
1695. - She must sit a lot.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1696. Now it's just getting
weird, guys.Copy !req
1697. - Oh.Copy !req
1698. - Oh, that color orange
does not exist in nature.Copy !req
1699. - Uh-uh.Copy !req
1700. - Go, go.Copy !req
1701. - To him it's kind of
a sexy puppet show.Copy !req
1702. - Are you still distracted,
'cause my neck hurts.Copy !req
1703. - Oh, we could use—Copy !req
1704. - Some chicken, Nancy?
- Yes, it is.Copy !req
1705. - Daddy wouldn't
let him hurt us,Copy !req
1706. would he,
would he, Nancy?Copy !req
1707. - No, of course not, honey.
Everything's gonna be all right.Copy !req
1708. - Yeah, right.Copy !req
1709. There must be
a pony around here.Copy !req
1710. - Now you don't have to be
sore with me, honey.Copy !req
1711. - Did you-
did you see what they—
what tried to do to me?Copy !req
1712. They coulda killed me
with those hot rods.Copy !req
1713. - And they made me
s-stutter my lines.Copy !req
1714. - You're lucky they didn't—
they should have.Copy !req
1715. - Now will you please
not talk like that, huh?Copy !req
1716. You know how I feel about you.Copy !req
1717. - Then let us go!
Both of us!Copy !req
1718. - I can't know better than that.Copy !req
1719. You see—Copy !req
1720. - When a giant man
and a tiny woman like—Copy !req
1721. —in this town,
for the first time in my life,Copy !req
1722. I'm a-I'm a big man,Copy !req
1723. - in more ways than one.
- Doh!Copy !req
1724. - You know how it is
at our age honey, uh,Copy !req
1725. don't do this,
don't do that—Copy !req
1726. - Can't you read the sign?
—don't-don't-don't-don't.Copy !req
1727. - It's like it's the only word
that they know how to say is no.Copy !req
1728. Don't drink, don't smoke,
don't drive too fast.Copy !req
1729. - Don't wear giant togas.Copy !req
1730. - The only word
that they know how to use,Copy !req
1731. well, I'll tell you something,
you see, in this town,Copy !req
1732. - the authority is all mine.
- Beau,Copy !req
1733. the chicken's gettin' cold,
get over there!Copy !req
1734. And nobody is gonna say
'don't' to me for anything.Copy !req
1735. - You're no God to us, mister!
- Okay, you're a rebel.Copy !req
1736. - I'm impressed.
- Hm?Copy !req
1737. - Well you'd better be.Copy !req
1738. - I will get them
with my mighty click-clacks.Copy !req
1739. Hah, hah!Copy !req
1740. - He could break down
their defensesCopy !req
1741. by wearing
little pants again.Copy !req
1742. - The enter plot begins.Copy !req
1743. - Re-ac-tion.Copy !req
1744. - It looks like David and uh,
Holly-go-lightly.Copy !req
1745. - Yeah.
- Hey Fred!Copy !req
1746. We've got a visitor!Copy !req
1747. - Oh uh, is Dave around?Copy !req
1748. Da— Oh. Fred?Copy !req
1749. - You're disrupting
'Come blow your horn.'Copy !req
1750. - What's he trying to do?Copy !req
1751. - Trying to show
what a big man he is.Copy !req
1752. - Nah, he couldn't hit
the barnside of a broad.Copy !req
1753. - Doh!Copy !req
1754. - Why don't I just pick him up
and throw him away?Copy !req
1755. - Attack of the 50-foot Abba.Copy !req
1756. - Stomp on 'em
would be more like it.Copy !req
1757. - Yes! Do it! Yes!
- No, he's cute.Copy !req
1758. He wants to fight.Copy !req
1759. - She thinks I'm cute.Copy !req
1760. - Okay Goliath,
here's your spear.Copy !req
1761. - Ew... thunk.Copy !req
1762. - Go to it.
- I'm big.Copy !req
1763. - You're all guts, Fred!Copy !req
1764. - Hey, uh, I think
you're releasing a little early.Copy !req
1765. Why don't you try
a looser grip?Copy !req
1766. - All right.Copy !req
1767. - So does super slow-mo
equal huge?Copy !req
1768. - I guess.
- In Bert's world.Copy !req
1769. - Booioioioioing!
- O-le.Copy !req
1770. - You're no better with a spear
than I am with a sling!Copy !req
1771. - Well don't make book on it.Copy !req
1772. - Or... things'll... happen.
- Go on Fred,Copy !req
1773. teach him!Copy !req
1774. - Ha, I'm a minx! Ahuhuh!Copy !req
1775. - That's exactly
what I'm going to do.Copy !req
1776. - Mr. Bond.Copy !req
1777. - Ha-ha!Copy !req
1778. - Or maybe your feet
are just aimed off to the right.Copy !req
1779. - Nice try, Goliath!Copy !req
1780. - I hope he gores
the little freak.Copy !req
1781. - Ha-ha, ha-ha!Copy !req
1782. - Huh?
- Come on, quick!Copy !req
1783. - Anybody want some candy?
- Not now! Let's go!Copy !req
1784. - Jim Begg.Copy !req
1785. - Whoa! I just saw
Jim Begg's love handles!Copy !req
1786. - Ew.
- Oh no, there they are again.Copy !req
1787. - Jim Begg.
- Jim Begg.Copy !req
1788. - Jim Begg.Copy !req
1789. - Merrie?
- Hm?Copy !req
1790. - Get in there
and watch that kid.Copy !req
1791. - Poor Merrie.
- But I wanna watch.Copy !req
1792. - Don't worry...
- I likes to watch.Copy !req
1793. - I'm gonna give you his head
on a silver platter.Copy !req
1794. - Oh, that's empty calories.
- That was Samson and Delilah.Copy !req
1795. - That's right, for 30 points!
- Go on, get in there!Copy !req
1796. - Actually,
it was John the Baptist.Copy !req
1797. - Most of the town
didn't have a problemCopy !req
1798. with the Giant Regime.Copy !req
1799. - Well,
at least the trains
ran on time.Copy !req
1800. - I think
I'll use a spear again,Copy !req
1801. maybe choke up a little bit.Copy !req
1802. - I'm gonna
cut you in pieces,
little man.Copy !req
1803. - Come on, baby,Copy !req
1804. this is gonna be
better than a ball game.Copy !req
1805. - Uh, turn into Elvis, baby,Copy !req
1806. I want you to wrestle
a little for me, yeah,Copy !req
1807. in your little
white tattled little—Copy !req
1808. - Sh-sh-sh.Copy !req
1809. - Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.Copy !req
1810. - That boyfriend
of yours is gonna getCopy !req
1811. the daylights
beaten out of him.Copy !req
1812. - Ooh.Copy !req
1813. - And how do you like that?Copy !req
1814. - Hah! I think
that's pretty good.Copy !req
1815. - How do you feel about it?Copy !req
1816. - Jim Begg.
- Yep.Copy !req
1817. - Nancy, Loo—Copy !req
1818. - Uh Gah, Lolita, sweet—Copy !req
1819. - That's too hard—
spots before my eyes.Copy !req
1820. - Don't try anything honey—
- Wow.Copy !req
1821. - you just stay right there,
and you'll be all right.Copy !req
1822. - Buh! Thank you.Copy !req
1823. - Jim Begg and the I.M. Force.Copy !req
1824. - Should any of you
or your pudgy incompetentsCopy !req
1825. - be caught or killed...
- The rest of us will be glad.Copy !req
1826. - Ha, ha!Copy !req
1827. - Yea, though I walk through
the valley of the shadowCopy !req
1828. - of the breasts, I—
- I'm gonna need both handsCopy !req
1829. for this.Copy !req
1830. - Just kill him!Copy !req
1831. - Ugh!
♪ I feel goodCopy !req
1832. Du-nuh nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-huh!Copy !req
1833. - Is this
the H.G. Wells part?Copy !req
1834. - I don't know.Copy !req
1835. - Well, I'm gonna start
heading to the car.Copy !req
1836. This could go on awhile.Copy !req
1837. - Ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
1838. - Eldridge, Cleavage.Copy !req
1839. - Whoa, he's headed
for a snack canyon.Copy !req
1840. - We have reached the summit!Copy !req
1841. - I don't need padding.Copy !req
1842. - There.
- To heck with the plan,Copy !req
1843. I'm staying here!Copy !req
1844. - That's all for that,Copy !req
1845. - now for those guns.
- Jim Begg.Copy !req
1846. - I've gotta get to Mike.
- Chuck, take the girl home,Copy !req
1847. - will you?
- Right.Copy !req
1848. - I am not eating this soup!Copy !req
1849. - Woof,Copy !req
1850. we've come up with another
Pumice compound.Copy !req
1851. - Penis compound?
- Failed again.Copy !req
1852. - Sorry, but I'm gonna
have to start sniffing you now.Copy !req
1853. - Well perhaps if you tried
more cyto-neutrino-ga—Copy !req
1854. - uh, oh you know.
- Hey, don't do that!Copy !req
1855. - Keep away!
- I didn't to anything!Copy !req
1856. - Let me...Copy !req
1857. Mmelting, melting melting.Copy !req
1858. - Huh, aroma therapy.Copy !req
1859. Hm, smells like Tom Bosley.Copy !req
1860. - Doh!Copy !req
1861. - It doesn't work on me.Copy !req
1862. - As a lab partner,
he's not much help.Copy !req
1863. Woof, I have some
quite astounding news for you.Copy !req
1864. - Yeah, Willow sucked.Copy !req
1865. - Hey,
now that was gratuitous!Copy !req
1866. - We have
discovered the antidote,Copy !req
1867. and there must be
something we can do with it,
wouldn't you say?Copy !req
1868. - Ah, don't give me
that woof crap,Copy !req
1869. I want an answer!Copy !req
1870. - Oh good,
this is still going on.Copy !req
1871. - Missed again!
- I'm getting away!Copy !req
1872. - I'm getting out of danger!
- Come on, Goliath!Copy !req
1873. - Hmm, she's dreaming
she's Susie...Copy !req
1874. - Huh, it sounds like
Shaft is coming.Copy !req
1875. - Shut your mouth.
- I was talking about Shaft.Copy !req
1876. - Jim Begg.
- Ha, ha!Copy !req
1877. - Everything's up to date and—Copy !req
1878. - whoa!
- I should warn 'em!Copy !req
1879. After her, quick!Copy !req
1880. - What do we do
if we catch her?Copy !req
1881. - We dance dance dance!Copy !req
1882. - Eh, that David and Goliath
analogy slips even further.Copy !req
1883. - Boy, they keep looming,
and thrusting, and looming.Copy !req
1884. - Hey now,
that's a Carnegie Library!Copy !req
1885. - Uh, they're getting
strong now.Copy !req
1886. I'm-gonna-fly-now!Copy !req
1887. Ha, ha, ha! Uh, uh...Copy !req
1888. - Whoa.
- But in David and Goliath,Copy !req
1889. David wins!Copy !req
1890. - Hey Fred,Copy !req
1891. look.Copy !req
1892. - Uh, ah... huh?Copy !req
1893. - Oh my God,
Opie's on fire!Copy !req
1894. - Surrender Aunt Bea!Copy !req
1895. - Huh?Copy !req
1896. - Oh no, Patchouli!Copy !req
1897. - He's spreading
a humorous antidote!Copy !req
1898. - Ew, this stuff really stinks,Copy !req
1899. but there's no point in you guys
moving or anything, huh?Copy !req
1900. - Well that's funny,
that kid's dusting cropsCopy !req
1901. where there ain't no crops.Copy !req
1902. - Uh, you can edge off
the pillar now, Tommy.Copy !req
1903. - Uh, mustard gas, ugh!Copy !req
1904. - By this time my son's lungs
were aching for air.Copy !req
1905. - Robins dropping like flies.Copy !req
1906. - Flies dropping like flies.Copy !req
1907. - Oh, I went down
400 cup sizes.Copy !req
1908. - But you know these gas diets,Copy !req
1909. you gain it all back
right away.Copy !req
1910. - Oh yeah.
- And more.Copy !req
1911. - Don't breathe
the yellow, Opie!Copy !req
1912. - We can't help
but observe that the people
who were once bigCopy !req
1913. are now small.Copy !req
1914. - Just a little bit more,
Freddie-boy.Copy !req
1915. Yeah, that's right,
just a little bit more.Copy !req
1916. - There.Copy !req
1917. - How'd you like that,
Goliath?Copy !req
1918. - But their clothes
weren't that, they were...Copy !req
1919. Oh no.Copy !req
1920. - Mike.Copy !req
1921. - Well, back down to size, huh?Copy !req
1922. - What?
- Who's your tailor, Freddie?Copy !req
1923. You need some
adjustments, right?Copy !req
1924. - Hey, hey!
We're goin', huh?Copy !req
1925. Just leave us alone!
Leave us alone.Copy !req
1926. - Yes, it's the running
of the half-naked teensCopy !req
1927. in Hainesville.Copy !req
1928. - Should they arrest them
for kidnapping?Copy !req
1929. - Aw, giant kids
are gonna be giant kids.Copy !req
1930. - Yeah.Copy !req
1931. And then we were giants,
and now I have stretch marks.Copy !req
1932. - Uh-huh, yeah right.
Move along.Copy !req
1933. - Pretty good weekend though,
huh guys?Copy !req
1934. - But think of their bladders,Copy !req
1935. they'd really
have to go to the bathroom
when they shrink, you know?Copy !req
1936. - Yeah,
they should've exploded.Copy !req
1937. - That's interesting.Copy !req
1938. - Uh, you wanna mud-dance?Copy !req
1939. - Naw,
it wouldn't be the same.Copy !req
1940. - Well...Copy !req
1941. we've got a long, long,
long walk.Copy !req
1942. - Huh?Copy !req
1943. - Uh, beg your pardon.Copy !req
1944. Are you people
coming from Hainesville?Copy !req
1945. - Uh, you can call me Ray,
or you can call me Ray.Copy !req
1946. - Yes,
we're coming from
Hainesville.Copy !req
1947. - Is that the place
where they have the Goo?Copy !req
1948. - Yes, that's the place
where they have the Goo.Copy !req
1949. - Thank you so much.Copy !req
1950. - Hah, one last offensive thing
to leave you with, folks.Copy !req
1951. - The shamed cast
of Terror of Tiny TownCopy !req
1952. meets the shamed cast
of Village of the Giants.Copy !req
1953. - Ah, so...Copy !req
1954. That's it?
Wasn't much of a payoff!Copy !req
1955. We waited all this time
for that?Copy !req
1956. - No!
- For crying out loud.Copy !req
1957. - No, no, no!
- No, no, no!Copy !req
1958. - Comin' back to this is likeCopy !req
1959. getting your face smashed
into a giant turkey!Copy !req
1960. Or maybe this is what
it would feel likeCopy !req
1961. if you had rubber bands
around your eyeballs!Copy !req
1962. - Oh, it's like wearing
William Conrad's underpantsCopy !req
1963. with a balaclava!Copy !req
1964. - It's like a lingering kiss
with your bearded aunt!Copy !req
1965. It's like,
waking up, rolling over
and seeing Jim Varney!Copy !req
1966. Aaaahhhh!Copy !req
1967. - It's like being trapped
inside your own gym bag!Copy !req
1968. - It's like being trapped
inside Jim Begg!Copy !req
1969. - Ooh!Copy !req
1970. - Boy, you know you guys,
as hard as I triedCopy !req
1971. to concentrate
on that wonderful movie,Copy !req
1972. I just kept thinking about
that little Imp Frank.Copy !req
1973. - Yeah, me too.
- I don't know, guys.Copy !req
1974. Torgo's cute rating
is off the charts.Copy !req
1975. - Hey.
- Heh-heh, just kidding.Copy !req
1976. Come on! Anyway,
we're not the only ones
rallying behind Frank.Copy !req
1977. Take a look at all this mail!Copy !req
1978. Keep every letter addressed
lovingly to TV's Frank.Copy !req
1979. - I haven't seen
such an embarrassing
display of affectionCopy !req
1980. since Dan Aykroyd
was on the Chevy Chase Show.Copy !req
1981. - Wow!Copy !req
1982. - And here's one
right here, uh,Copy !req
1983. put this up
on the still store there,Copy !req
1984. this is from Annie Current
who says,Copy !req
1985. "Frank, your evil innocence
and gentle love for painCopy !req
1986. keep me on
the edge of my seat,Copy !req
1987. but don't let
the Doctor hold you down.Copy !req
1988. You are definitely
going places, buddy.Copy !req
1989. You see, Frank, there's a lot
of people behind you!Copy !req
1990. - Yes, doggone-it!Copy !req
1991. - Thanks, guys.Copy !req
1992. Say, just watch this.Copy !req
1993. - ... And shoot it over
to the Madrid lawyersCopy !req
1994. and see if...
Hold on a second.Copy !req
1995. Stan,
I've got someone.Copy !req
1996. - You still here?
- Torgo.Copy !req
1997. - TV's Torgo.
- TV's Torgo.Copy !req
1998. Look, I just wanna say,
you won, congratulations,Copy !req
1999. I'm leaving.Copy !req
2000. And just to show
that there's no hard feelings,Copy !req
2001. here's something you can do
that'll make Dr. ForresterCopy !req
2002. really happy.
Look, all you doCopy !req
2003. is go up to him
and then you...Copy !req
2004. - Uh, Dr. Forrester!Copy !req
2005. - Uh, hello, Tor.
I'm almost ready.Copy !req
2006. I just have to—
Oh-ho-ho, what're you doing?Copy !req
2007. Uh— No! No, don't!Copy !req
2008. - Frank, get the door!
I got garbage to take out!Copy !req
2009. - Oh, who are you
to judge me anyway?Copy !req
2010. Uh oh!Copy !req
2011. - Frank!
You disgusting little man!Copy !req
2012. That was your doing,
wasn't it?Copy !req
2013. - Ah well, uh yeah.Copy !req
2014. - Frank, that was
one of the most fiendishCopy !req
2015. and disgusting things
you've ever done,Copy !req
2016. and I've just got
one thing to say,Copy !req
2017. Frank...Copy !req
2018. - Welcome back!
- I got my job back!Copy !req
2019. Thanks, Dr. Forrester!Copy !req
2020. - Oh, there's
just one little thing...Copy !req
2021. Because of that little
stunt you pulled,Copy !req
2022. I'm going to have to kill you.Copy !req
2023. - Mind?
- Mind?Copy !req
2024. What do you think?Copy !req
2025. - Uh-ah— Ugh!Copy !req
2026. - Oh, thank you Dr. Forrester!Copy !req
2027. - No! Thank you, TV's Frank!Copy !req
2028. - Please?
Please don't go.Copy !req
2029. - Bye-bye, Frank.Copy !req
2030. You were enjoyed.Copy !req