1. - Did I show you guys my magical,Copy !req
2. whimsical squirting flower?Copy !req
3. - Yes, about a gazillion times!Copy !req
4. - Aw, well did I show you my rash?Copy !req
5. - No!Copy !req
6. - Don't do it, please!Copy !req
7. - Hi everybody, welcome
to Satellite of Love.Copy !req
8. My name's Joel Robinson.Copy !req
9. About three weeks ago, I set upCopy !req
10. this holo clown sequence
here to cheer up the bots,Copy !req
11. but now I can't get it to turn offCopy !req
12. and it's getting hard to sleep at nightCopy !req
13. and I'm tasting metal.Copy !req
14. - Help us.Copy !req
15. - Hey little girl, would
you like a salted nut roll?Copy !req
16. - Joel! Joel! Joel!Copy !req
17. - Why are you yelling?Copy !req
18. Shut up, shut up!Copy !req
19. You think I like it being
stuck in limbo with you?Copy !req
20. No!Copy !req
21. Get on your orange and yellow kneesCopy !req
22. and kiss my clown feet
that I haven't killed you.Copy !req
23. - Joel this is getting weird.Copy !req
24. You gotta do something!Copy !req
25. - I'm working on it.Copy !req
26. Joel, do something.Copy !req
27. I hate those clowns,
and I don't even exist.Copy !req
28. - That's the one.Copy !req
29. - Joel Robinson, don't you do that!Copy !req
30. Don't you do that!Copy !req
31. - I have to do this!Copy !req
32. - Don't you do that!Copy !req
33. Commercial sign-out.Copy !req
34. - Well, let's not do that again.Copy !req
35. - No, sir.Copy !req
36. - We'll be right back.Copy !req
37. - Clowns are raining down.Copy !req
38. Here the scream of the grease paint.Copy !req
39. Danger, clown puddles.Copy !req
40. - Nice haiku, Tom, very good.Copy !req
41. Crow, you're next.Copy !req
42. - Oh, the Captain and
Tennille are calling.Copy !req
43. - Ah, Robinson, Servo, Mr. T Robot.Copy !req
44. Our invention this week is inspiredCopy !req
45. by today's experiment,
Attack of the Giant Leeches.Copy !req
46. In ye olden times, alchemists believedCopy !req
47. that leeches served medicinal purposes.Copy !req
48. - So do we.Copy !req
49. - Yes, we found that the
common fresh water leechCopy !req
50. can serve the same purpose
as a nicotine patch,Copy !req
51. and being neither food nor drug,Copy !req
52. there's no pesky FDA regulation
to impede your progressCopy !req
53. and I can experiment at will.Copy !req
54. Frank?Copy !req
55. - At your service.Copy !req
56. - Our subject Frank has been tryingCopy !req
57. to quit smoking for quite some time.Copy !req
58. He's a three pack a day man.Copy !req
59. - No I'm not.Copy !req
60. - Yes you are, shut up.Copy !req
61. Now this leech, we'll call him Patches.Copy !req
62. - Gah!Copy !req
63. - When applied to the neck and head area,Copy !req
64. will suck any desire
to smoke out of Frank.Copy !req
65. - No, no, no!Copy !req
66. I'm the sum of my vices.Copy !req
67. I am my pain, my happiness, my losses,Copy !req
68. my love, my struggles,
my hobbies, my Lanta!Copy !req
69. I want to live, I want to live!Copy !req
70. I want to live and love
and learn and live!Copy !req
71. - But this won't hurt a bit.Copy !req
72. - Okay.Copy !req
73. - There you go.Copy !req
74. Now, Patches, I'm
depending on you, you slug.Copy !req
75. - Say, this is the most
action I've gotten—Copy !req
76. - Frank!Copy !req
77. Back to you, Joel.Copy !req
78. - Well, sirs, as you
know, puberty is that timeCopy !req
79. when childhood crosses that
mighty threshold to adulthood.Copy !req
80. Kids can't wait for it to startCopy !req
81. and grownups can't wait for it to leave.Copy !req
82. It's spring time for your body,Copy !req
83. and you're about to bloom
into beautiful flora.Copy !req
84. But as you know, being an
adolescent is time consuming,Copy !req
85. and that's why we came up with this.Copy !req
86. The Satellite of Love
Insty Adolescent Kit.Copy !req
87. - Yeah, why waste your
teendom in torturous fluxCopy !req
88. when those funny feelings downstairsCopy !req
89. can be taken care of in a jiffy?Copy !req
90. Get ready!Copy !req
91. You'll have to start showering dailyCopy !req
92. as sebaceous oil included in the kitCopy !req
93. does double duty on your
scalp, face, and under arms.Copy !req
94. - And my back too, yuck!Copy !req
95. - Yeah, and don't forget
the octaves you'll encompassCopy !req
96. when you finally encounter our
minty fresh hormonal spray.Copy !req
97. - Hello, Suzy.Copy !req
98. Wanna go to the Snow Day's dance with me?Copy !req
99. - And that's when your
face turns beet red,Copy !req
100. but it's okay 'cause Suzy won't noticeCopy !req
101. because you'll be covered with pimples.Copy !req
102. Yuck!Copy !req
103. - You guys just don't understand me.Copy !req
104. - That's right, now that you're a teen,Copy !req
105. the most innocent remarks
by friends and familyCopy !req
106. will be construed as personal attacks.Copy !req
107. - Oh, what's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
108. - Well fortunately, each kit comesCopy !req
109. with it's own personal retort cardsCopy !req
110. with comebacks like,
"You just have no clue."Copy !req
111. "Who was in my room?"Copy !req
112. and "You guys are so phony."Copy !req
113. - Oh, you're not the boss of me.Copy !req
114. - Hey but there's more.Copy !req
115. Mood pills.Copy !req
116. Yes, you'll span the emotional globeCopy !req
117. when you experience everythingCopy !req
118. from mild nausea and persistent dreadCopy !req
119. to ecstatic feelings of immortality.Copy !req
120. - What do you think, I'm
being stupid and stuff?Copy !req
121. - All this in one afternoon.Copy !req
122. - I don't care any more.Copy !req
123. Great but I still don't have my license.Copy !req
124. - Listen, Mister, if you don't like it,Copy !req
125. you can stay in a hotel down the street.Copy !req
126. What do you think, sirs?Copy !req
127. - Jerk.Copy !req
128. - Very amusing, Joel.Copy !req
129. But lets not forget why you're up there.Copy !req
130. To watch really bad movies.Copy !req
131. And now, a Dr. Clayton
Forester presentation,Copy !req
132. Attack of the Giant Leeches.Copy !req
133. - Oh, you're doing homework alright.Copy !req
134. - Like I'm supposed to care.Copy !req
135. - Look at what you did to your mother.Copy !req
136. Oh, we got movie sign!Copy !req
137. - I don't care!Copy !req
138. You're not my father, you know.Copy !req
139. - Oh yeah?Copy !req
140. - Oh look, it's the
Embassy Football All-stars.Copy !req
141. They played USC today.Copy !req
142. - ♫ Hey, it's the Undersea KingdomCopy !req
143. - (sings William Tell overture)Copy !req
144. - Looks like rush
hour on Spaghetti Junction.Copy !req
145. - Oh, it's all wirly twirly, ooh!Copy !req
146. Oh it's Ben Hur, I've seen this before.Copy !req
147. - Oh.Copy !req
148. Hey, hey, you guys!Copy !req
149. You know where you're going?Copy !req
150. Ah, I thought so.Copy !req
151. - No, back this way, come on.Copy !req
152. - Had no clue, did they?Copy !req
153. G. Alanman Brewing Company,
La Crosse, Wisconsin.Copy !req
154. - When in Las
Vegas, visit Excalibur.Copy !req
155. - Beneath the Ocean Floor.Copy !req
156. It's all full of mildew down there.Copy !req
157. - Let's go gather
around the water cooler.Copy !req
158. - We are the water cooler.Copy !req
159. - Oh, I love that one.Copy !req
160. - Annapolis a day
keeps the doctoris away.Copy !req
161. - ♫ We're walking
really really fast.Copy !req
162. - Congratulations,
soldier, go out and kill.Copy !req
163. Oh, here, one for you.Copy !req
164. Congratulations, go out and kill.Copy !req
165. - Oh.Copy !req
166. - How about it, Doc,
do you think I'll live?Copy !req
167. - You look kind of weak and puny,Copy !req
168. but I think you'll through.Copy !req
169. - I'm kidding of course.Copy !req
170. You're one of the finest specimensCopy !req
171. to ever come through here.Copy !req
172. - Thank you sir.Copy !req
173. - Next.Copy !req
174. - Great chap.Copy !req
175. I wish we had more like him.Copy !req
176. - Ah keep your mind on your work.Copy !req
177. You're in enough trouble as it is.Copy !req
178. - To bad this is his last year.Copy !req
179. - He'll make a grand naval officer.Copy !req
180. - He'll make several of them.Copy !req
181. - Hey, he's posing
for a Wheaties box.Copy !req
182. - That was close.Copy !req
183. - I am the God of hellfire!Copy !req
184. - All these people are dead now.Copy !req
185. Isn't that weird?Copy !req
186. - Think about it.Copy !req
187. Oh no. A football game has
broken out, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
188. I don't know what to make of it.Copy !req
189. - This makes me lonesomeCopy !req
190. for my old electric football game.Copy !req
191. - Aw.Copy !req
192. - It's Good Humor Man Day today.Copy !req
193. - What are those lab
technicians doing on the field?Copy !req
194. - Go to Smith, it's reversed to Morgan...Copy !req
195. - Oh look.Copy !req
196. - Here's the pull back, knocks him down...Copy !req
197. - Looks like they're
playing in chocolate.Copy !req
198. It's the Hershey Bowl.Copy !req
199. - You know, in the future,Copy !req
200. people will pay to see women do this.Copy !req
201. - Ooh.Copy !req
202. - Take it back.Copy !req
203. My sister does not swim
towards troop ships.Copy !req
204. - Oh, smooth... (coughs)Copy !req
205. Ten hut!Copy !req
206. - ♫ Girl I'd like to
know where you got the notionCopy !req
207. Hey!Copy !req
208. - I gotta see Lieutenant
Corrigan right away.Copy !req
209. - You can't go in
there, it's against orders.Copy !req
210. - But I tell ya I gotta see him.Copy !req
211. It's important.Copy !req
212. - I'm his son, he
doesn't know about me yet.Copy !req
213. - Even if I let you in, you couldn't talkCopy !req
214. with the Lieutenant now, he's busy.Copy !req
215. - Nice shoes.Copy !req
216. - Alright.Copy !req
217. - (laughs) Little jerk.Copy !req
218. - Wow, jeepers, hot dog!Copy !req
219. - And everywhere,Copy !req
220. the smell of men enjoying themselves.Copy !req
221. Oh, oh!Copy !req
222. - Uh-oh.Copy !req
223. - Oh, I'll show them.Copy !req
224. I'm gonna jump off.Copy !req
225. - No, don't do it!Copy !req
226. - And now, back
to man with little pants.Copy !req
227. - Uh-oh, he's having an episode.Copy !req
228. - Good work, Jimmy!Copy !req
229. - Jimmy Smits.Copy !req
230. - Don't let him throw ya.Copy !req
231. - Give him a wedgie!Copy !req
232. - Purple Herman, woo, wet willy!Copy !req
233. - It was.Copy !req
234. Let's go down the slide like this, wee!Copy !req
235. - Hold him!Copy !req
236. - You know there's
something sick about this, guys.Copy !req
237. - Yeah, I call it history, Tom.Copy !req
238. - Victory at sea.Copy !req
239. - Now you got him, Crash.Copy !req
240. Give him the airplane stand.Copy !req
241. - Good idea, kid!Copy !req
242. Why didn't I think of that?Copy !req
243. - Billy!Copy !req
244. - Don't be a hero!Copy !req
245. - Hold tight!Copy !req
246. - Don't need that.Copy !req
247. - Hey!Copy !req
248. - Hold it!Copy !req
249. - Ah, just save
the kid, stop showing off.Copy !req
250. - That's what happens when you spendCopy !req
251. a lot around sailors, you know?Copy !req
252. - Thank God they built
this place like a jungle gym.Copy !req
253. - Here, Billy, let
me close the window first.Copy !req
254. - Let go, Billy, I've got ya.Copy !req
255. - Give us Baradas!Copy !req
256. - Here, catch him, you mugs.Copy !req
257. - Ah, you got acne
all over your back, yuck!Copy !req
258. - Hey, kid, feel free to takeCopy !req
259. your heel out of my groin.Copy !req
260. - Now somebody's gotta save me.Copy !req
261. - Doh!Copy !req
262. - Thanks, friend.Copy !req
263. - Hold tight, Billy.Copy !req
264. - Augh, not that tight. (chokes)Copy !req
265. - Yay, woo.Copy !req
266. Tada!Copy !req
267. - I thought the kid was a goner.Copy !req
268. - What were you doing up there?Copy !req
269. - Dad sent me over to get you,
but they wouldn't let me in.Copy !req
270. - Has he had another earthquake warning?Copy !req
271. - Yeah, he wants you to come right over.Copy !req
272. - Wait until I get into my clothes.Copy !req
273. I'm going over to Professor
Norton's laboratory.Copy !req
274. - Oh no, just put on a sarong.Copy !req
275. That'll be all you need.Copy !req
276. - What you sayCopy !req
277. is very interesting, Professor Norton.Copy !req
278. - But stupid.Copy !req
279. - This little machine
can predict earthquakes.Copy !req
280. - Not only predicts, but prevents them.Copy !req
281. - And it makes toast.Copy !req
282. - Ah, there you are, Lieutenant.Copy !req
283. The signals are coming in much stronger.Copy !req
284. - Oh, the earth just moved for me.Copy !req
285. - And this is Miss Compton,
staff writer of the Times.Copy !req
286. - Everybody knows Crash Corrigan.Copy !req
287. - Everybody digs Dill Evans. So?Copy !req
288. - Answer unclear, ask again.Copy !req
289. - Popcorn's ready.Copy !req
290. - And it makes three
different kinds of gelati.Copy !req
291. - It's that signal again.Copy !req
292. They've been sending
it every five minutes.Copy !req
293. - They? Just what do you mean by they?Copy !req
294. - Comedy central.Copy !req
295. - Professor Norton
maintains that these signalsCopy !req
296. must be the work of some human agency,Copy !req
297. apparently coming from
the bottom of the ocean.Copy !req
298. - Oh, the William Wall sages.Copy !req
299. - I hope you're not
spinning that fantastic yarnCopy !req
300. about the lost continent of Atlantis.Copy !req
301. - Exactly, only now I have
some definite evidence.Copy !req
302. - Let me get in my
costume and tell you about it.Copy !req
303. Now pretend I'm a swarthy pirate.Copy !req
304. - This is pure orichalcum.Copy !req
305. - No I'm not!Copy !req
306. - A metal made by fusing gold and copper.Copy !req
307. The secret of this process
was lost with the Atlantians.Copy !req
308. - What does that prove?Copy !req
309. - Well, according to every test,Copy !req
310. the idol couldn't be more
than a couple of years old,Copy !req
311. something made recently.Copy !req
312. I found it during a recent trip I madeCopy !req
313. in my rocket submarine
in this general location.Copy !req
314. - You have a rich
inner life, don't you?Copy !req
315. - The ancient continent
of Atlantis was reportedCopy !req
316. to have sunk thousands of years ago.Copy !req
317. Contrary to popular belief,
Atlantis did not sink overnight,Copy !req
318. but during a period of years.Copy !req
319. - That's great, Gramps.Copy !req
320. Get the medication!Copy !req
321. - To construct a roof of orichalcumCopy !req
322. over the city and keep out the ocean.Copy !req
323. - Ah, film's melting!Copy !req
324. Oh, it's a better world.Copy !req
325. - Xanadu, stately underwater homeCopy !req
326. of Charles Foster Kane.Copy !req
327. Cost? No fish can say.Copy !req
328. - It's a Denver Pyle statue.Copy !req
329. - I beg of you to
take safety in the citadel.Copy !req
330. - Poseidon, guard of Atlantis,Copy !req
331. has never forsaken his
people in time of need.Copy !req
332. - Jiffy Pop's ready.Copy !req
333. - I promise you, he will not do so now.Copy !req
334. - Imperial.Copy !req
335. - Surely, we have broken the coverCopy !req
336. of this evil usurper,Copy !req
337. Unga Khan.Copy !req
338. - Oh no, the king's
command is gonna make usCopy !req
339. pretend we were in The
Rockettes again, run!Copy !req
340. It's the 1968 Chrysler Mariback.Copy !req
341. - Fondue!Copy !req
342. - Our men are outnumbered.Copy !req
343. The city is about to fall.Copy !req
344. - Yeah, Mayor Dinkins
just ain't cutting it, is he?Copy !req
345. Say...Copy !req
346. - Meh, must be Monday.Copy !req
347. - Hm, traffic lights must be out.Copy !req
348. - Yup.Copy !req
349. You believe this crap?Copy !req
350. Unreal.Copy !req
351. - Hey, look, dung beetles.Copy !req
352. I don't want that.Copy !req
353. - He was my favorite.Copy !req
354. - Ken just exploded, sir.Copy !req
355. - They bomb horses, don't they?Copy !req
356. - He's backing up.Copy !req
357. - There's a bomb
going into the air shaft.Copy !req
358. - This place looks
like a bomb just hit it... oh.Copy !req
359. - Jane, I'm home!Copy !req
360. - David Crosby, no!Copy !req
361. - Sharad's army has been drivenCopy !req
362. within the walls of the sacred city.Copy !req
363. - Good, recall the troops.Copy !req
364. If those religious
fanatics donate control,Copy !req
365. I'll have no more interferenceCopy !req
366. with my plans to destroy the upper world.Copy !req
367. - Heh, you are
really something, Boss.Copy !req
368. I think this is your year.Copy !req
369. - Your hat's very
creative today, Kyle.Copy !req
370. - When you do succeed at selling
to the bottom of the sea,Copy !req
371. Atlantis will rise once more
to its former place in the sun,Copy !req
372. and you will be ruler of all things.Copy !req
373. - Start the Disintegrator!Copy !req
374. - Duh, okay.Copy !req
375. - Go finish your
giant Rolaid first, sir.Copy !req
376. Oh look, here's Daniel in the lion's den,Copy !req
377. this clown's making chains,Copy !req
378. this is a giant Welch's
grape jelly machine,Copy !req
379. and I'm out of here!Copy !req
380. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
381. Goodnight now!Copy !req
382. - It's the camera
crew from Real Life.Copy !req
383. - Set it for stun.Copy !req
384. - Let's play some metal, woo!Copy !req
385. - You clinking,
clanking, clatteringCopy !req
386. collection of caliginous junk!Copy !req
387. - Oh look, he's
packing a tummy massager.Copy !req
388. - ♫ The night Chicago diedCopy !req
389. - Red Cross
is beginning to documentCopy !req
390. submissions leading to rushing
supplies into the area.Copy !req
391. - You in there?Copy !req
392. - Sold American.Copy !req
393. - Martial
law is rushing a militiaCopy !req
394. to the scenes of the disaster.Copy !req
395. - Now on the lighter
side of the news...Copy !req
396. - Saint Clair?Copy !req
397. That's only 300 miles from here.Copy !req
398. - Yes, and according to my calculations,Copy !req
399. another severe shock
will occur any moment.Copy !req
400. - Dang.Copy !req
401. - Put that contracting machine
in a submarine right away.Copy !req
402. - Duh, okay.Copy !req
403. - You're going down to
try to stop this quake?Copy !req
404. What a story this will make for my paper!Copy !req
405. - Troy Tempest,
phones equal Stingray.Copy !req
406. - Great lady down for cocktail.Copy !req
407. - Professor Norton.Copy !req
408. - Norton, get in here.Copy !req
409. Oh, you're getting in here.Copy !req
410. - I don't know.Copy !req
411. We're on a level keel, but
we're being dragged downCopy !req
412. by some mysterious force.Copy !req
413. - The plot?Copy !req
414. - We're out of baking soda, sir.Copy !req
415. - This sub is powered by Fizzies.Copy !req
416. - I want to take
us down to 20,000 leagues.Copy !req
417. - Meanwhile, in
young Billy's bathtub.Copy !req
418. - Billy Bathtub,
what a terrible movie.Copy !req
419. - No, no, Crow.Copy !req
420. - Check it out,
there are fish out there.Copy !req
421. - Sea.Copy !req
422. - They got a Genie automatic
garage door picker-upper.Copy !req
423. - That's a Swiss Army joke.Copy !req
424. - Sorry.Copy !req
425. - They're in the tunnel.Copy !req
426. - Bring them up through the Inland Sea.Copy !req
427. - Do you think
I'm losing weight, sir?Copy !req
428. - When in Coral Gables, Florida,Copy !req
429. visit Crash Corrigan Cove.Copy !req
430. - We're on the surface, I can see land.Copy !req
431. - Captain Billy.Copy !req
432. - Impossible.Copy !req
433. According to the depth indicator,Copy !req
434. we're still some 10,000 feet down.Copy !req
435. - I think they give
that kid too much freedom.Copy !req
436. - That's land, alright.Copy !req
437. We're moving into a small inlet.Copy !req
438. - Yup, that's land, I've
seen it before, definitely.Copy !req
439. - Wait a minute.Copy !req
440. I think we're on the Pirates
of the Caribbean ride.Copy !req
441. - Big sub.Copy !req
442. - Gee, we're on the surface.Copy !req
443. - I knew Colonel Kurtz was close.Copy !req
444. He's real close.Copy !req
445. - He knows Scotty.Copy !req
446. - Call out the imperial guard.Copy !req
447. - And kill the dorky
guy, I hate comic relief.Copy !req
448. - That you're beeper?Copy !req
449. - Nope.Copy !req
450. - Well it's not me, I don't think.Copy !req
451. - Imperial to stable.Copy !req
452. - I command that his
supreme majesty Unga Khan,Copy !req
453. the detachment of the imperial guardCopy !req
454. will proceed at once to the Inland SeaCopy !req
455. and capture the stranger
from the upper world.Copy !req
456. - Put your skirt down.Copy !req
457. - Aboard, quickly!Copy !req
458. Number one patrol, huh?Copy !req
459. - Number one patrol, prepare to move out!Copy !req
460. - That's us, boys, come on.Copy !req
461. It's time for the big Hawaiian number.Copy !req
462. Hey, come on, everybody.Copy !req
463. - Hey, it's the
Ponderosa under the sea.Copy !req
464. - You know what, I
think that's a Mac page.Copy !req
465. - We now join Fitzcarraldo,
already in progress.Copy !req
466. They running over somebody?Copy !req
467. - Yee-hah!Copy !req
468. - This looks like a fine placeCopy !req
469. to set down my pasty white bottom.Copy !req
470. - Well, they're certainly
well dressed for adventure.Copy !req
471. - Here we are, 10,000
feet below sea level.Copy !req
472. - And me without my rubbers.Copy !req
473. - Apparently in another world.Copy !req
474. - Hey, he's being
followed by Michael Nesmith.Copy !req
475. - Hey, did you know
my mom invented liquid paper?Copy !req
476. - Toki, toki!Copy !req
477. - Submerge the submarine while
we investigate this place.Copy !req
478. - Alright.Copy !req
479. - Hey, did you
remember to close the hatch?Copy !req
480. - Well, remember
where we parked, everyone.Copy !req
481. We're in the giraffe lot.Copy !req
482. - We have to hide the control box.Copy !req
483. - Now there's a good place.Copy !req
484. - Yes, that'll do.Copy !req
485. - You think we better
wait for Briny and Salty?Copy !req
486. - Briny and Salty,
the Pretzel twins.Copy !req
487. - Do you want us to catch the parrot?Copy !req
488. - Hey, everybody!Copy !req
489. Here's where the two roads
diverge into a yellow wood.Copy !req
490. - Take the one less traveled.Copy !req
491. - That is one sweet chariot.Copy !req
492. - Shirley Maclaine.Copy !req
493. - No, we are lost, R2.Copy !req
494. - Owie, ouch,
ouch, ouch, stingy, ouch.Copy !req
495. - Shouldn't they be ridingCopy !req
496. side-saddle in those skirts?Copy !req
497. - Some of them are.Copy !req
498. - No, you go that way.Copy !req
499. You'll be breaking down in no time.Copy !req
500. - Hey, it's the 34
horsemen of the apocalypse.Copy !req
501. Ouch, stingy, ouch, that burns, ouch.Copy !req
502. Hey, check it out, it says
Bill Shatner was here.Copy !req
503. - Great, they're letting
Jay North lead the pack here.Copy !req
504. - Look, Dad!Copy !req
505. - How come they all
turned when he said Dad?Copy !req
506. - Unless my calculations are wrong,Copy !req
507. we've come across the lost
continent of Atlantis.Copy !req
508. - I'd say your
calculations are wrong.Copy !req
509. - It must be a mirage.Copy !req
510. - No, the Mirage is on the Strip.Copy !req
511. - What is that?Copy !req
512. - And around the clubhouse turnCopy !req
513. is Apartment House With Plenty of RoomCopy !req
514. with Bird Droppings on the
Rail coming around the bend.Copy !req
515. - Oh, look, this is what
starts those chain accidents.Copy !req
516. - That's no illusion.Copy !req
517. - It's a world of illusion.Copy !req
518. - Look, soldiers!Copy !req
519. - Wait there, we're
coming to attack you.Copy !req
520. - Keep out of sight.Copy !req
521. Until we find out if
they're friends or enemies.Copy !req
522. - If they kill me,
they're probably enemies.Copy !req
523. - Uh, taxi, I say, taxi!Copy !req
524. - Capture him!Copy !req
525. - Gah! He's a real diplomat.Copy !req
526. - Get him, girls, he hit Buddy!Copy !req
527. - Hey, get this, I can
see up Trent's skirt from here.Copy !req
528. - Okay, hand me up that horse.Copy !req
529. - Uh-oh.Copy !req
530. I got a crazy idea,
but it just might work.Copy !req
531. - No way they're gonna pants meCopy !req
532. and make me one of them!Copy !req
533. - Well I never rid a horsey before.Copy !req
534. - He's escaping.Copy !req
535. - Head out to check him out.Copy !req
536. - Enough said, live to surf.Copy !req
537. - Wait, we need that horse.Copy !req
538. - You sure fooled them this time, Crash.Copy !req
539. - Let's get back to the submarine.Copy !req
540. - But the villagers, what about them?Copy !req
541. - I'll tell you later,
there's no time to lose.Copy !req
542. - Hurry, Diana!Copy !req
543. - Hurry, Diana!Copy !req
544. - Well around about that time,Copy !req
545. the Duke boys did a little body
work on the old General Lee.Copy !req
546. - (sing Batman theme)Copy !req
547. - Some sort of a war tank.Copy !req
548. - Oh, I see...Copy !req
549. A war tank?Copy !req
550. - Excuse me, have
you seen any Earthlings?Copy !req
551. - Steady.Copy !req
552. - Hold me!Copy !req
553. - Okay, boys, delouse them.Copy !req
554. - Oh, right in the nostril.Copy !req
555. - Fissure, fissure.Copy !req
556. - They're not human!Copy !req
557. - Uh, yeah, we noticed.Copy !req
558. Stop, wait, come back.Copy !req
559. - ♫ I'm a little
teapot, short and stoutCopy !req
560. - (laughing) Pretty good.Copy !req
561. - Doh!Copy !req
562. - Moses.Copy !req
563. Silly string!Copy !req
564. - Geez, lady, scream
in someone else's ear.Copy !req
565. - Really.Copy !req
566. - You two get behind that rock.Copy !req
567. - Count up by ones, everyone.Copy !req
568. - One...Copy !req
569. - Here, Billy, you draw there fire.Copy !req
570. - Diane!Copy !req
571. - The strangers have escaped...Copy !req
572. - I hate when they
talk during the movie... oh.Copy !req
573. - Alas, the invisible ray
gun will soon stop them.Copy !req
574. - That's not very invisible.Copy !req
575. - I can see it.Copy !req
576. - Alright, Billy,
when I throw you off here,Copy !req
577. flap your arms like crazy.Copy !req
578. - Start the Disintegrator!Copy !req
579. - GE, we bring
good things to death.Copy !req
580. - You know, I like Meg
Ryan in this role better.Copy !req
581. - Well, this is it.Copy !req
582. Looks like I'm gonna be
forced to push you off, Billy.Copy !req
583. - Hit them in the mouth?Copy !req
584. Oh no, they're shooting hot dogs at them.Copy !req
585. - (laughs) Hold
the mustard on that one.Copy !req
586. - Admiral, deploy
the cheddar wurst.Copy !req
587. - Oh no!Copy !req
588. - Boom.Copy !req
589. - Oh, wow, blindsided by another short.Copy !req
590. Are you guys okay?Copy !req
591. - Ah, don't worry, Joel.Copy !req
592. I'm feeling no unusual effects from it.Copy !req
593. Isn't that right, Billy?Copy !req
594. That's right, Crow.Copy !req
595. - That's really nice, Crow.Copy !req
596. You know, Joel, for the life of me,Copy !req
597. I can't understand the
appeal of these old serials.Copy !req
598. - Well that's no big
mystery, my little fire plug.Copy !req
599. You see, they actually have
kind of a historic quality.Copy !req
600. If it's in the 1930s,Copy !req
601. and you're interested in
taking over the world,Copy !req
602. you gotta get gussied up to beat the man.Copy !req
603. - No kidding, just look at theCopy !req
604. elaborately flamboyant costumesCopy !req
605. the bad guys were gadding about in.Copy !req
606. Togas, electric helmets,
dance belts, fascist underoos.Copy !req
607. - Exactly, and I thought it'd be fun,Copy !req
608. as a thought experiment, for you guysCopy !req
609. to tell me how you would dress upCopy !req
610. if you were gonna take over the world.Copy !req
611. - Oh, you know, I'd bronze my skin,Copy !req
612. put on 40 pounds, and
dress like Bea Arthur.Copy !req
613. - I'd wear a Lone Ranger maskCopy !req
614. and a swimsuit made of string cheese.Copy !req
615. - Good idea, very thoughtful.Copy !req
616. Okay, say you've got your costume.Copy !req
617. What would your caper be?Copy !req
618. I mean, what would you do
to take over the world?Copy !req
619. - I'd freeze all the world's oceans.Copy !req
620. But then, I guess that meansCopy !req
621. I'd have to dress like Dick Button.Copy !req
622. - I'd send California
tumbling into the ocean.Copy !req
623. The Atlantic Ocean.Copy !req
624. After showering, tauk, and changingCopy !req
625. into my Frito Bandito costume.Copy !req
626. - I see, well once you've
taken over the world,Copy !req
627. what would you do then?Copy !req
628. - Oh! I'd turn all those little Pose MeCopy !req
629. into the boy in the plastic
bubble for obvious reasons.Copy !req
630. - I'd declare March, Liza Month!Copy !req
631. - Woo!Copy !req
632. - Well, it's fun to dream, you know.Copy !req
633. But you can bet that
anybody seriously interestedCopy !req
634. in world domination is gonna end upCopy !req
635. looking like a real Snickerdoodle.Copy !req
636. - What's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
637. I'll deal with you later.Copy !req
638. Back to the drill, Frank.Copy !req
639. You will bow down before
me, Son of Jor-El.Copy !req
640. Bow down!Copy !req
641. - Looks like an E.
E. Cummings book cover.Copy !req
642. - Type setting by Smith Corona.Copy !req
643. - Hoo!Copy !req
644. Neat, huh?Copy !req
645. - I'll have a Dick
Rubin, hold the sauerkraut.Copy !req
646. - Ryder Ren Sound Services.Copy !req
647. - Laszlo also brings
you a fine line of cosmeticsCopy !req
648. for aging socialites, and social x-rays.Copy !req
649. - Hey, Roger Corman! Woo!Copy !req
650. - Huh, I wonder if they're related.Copy !req
651. - Oh, no.Copy !req
652. - Hmm, a title
sequence named Desire.Copy !req
653. - Stella!Copy !req
654. - Then folks started payingCopy !req
655. for their groceries with old cars.Copy !req
656. Nothing you could do about it.Copy !req
657. - Nope.Copy !req
658. - This looks like the right sideCopy !req
659. of the wrong side of the tracks.Copy !req
660. - Norm!Copy !req
661. - Now wait a minute, wait a minute.Copy !req
662. - That was a Hee
Haw writing session.Copy !req
663. - So I was thinking LuluCopy !req
664. could pop up behind some corn.Copy !req
665. - Now that's funny.Copy !req
666. - Liz!Copy !req
667. - Is more.Copy !req
668. - You hear me, girl?Copy !req
669. - Tell old Jerry Lee
to hold it down in there.Copy !req
670. - Aye, who's the new girl?Copy !req
671. - Lolita!Copy !req
672. - What do you want now?Copy !req
673. - Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?Copy !req
674. - Yeah, Crest!Copy !req
675. - You gotta play that thing so loud?Copy !req
676. What'd you come out like this for?Copy !req
677. - Oral?Copy !req
678. - Don't bother me.Copy !req
679. - Liz.Copy !req
680. - I wonder if they
have back porch on that place.Copy !req
681. - Some day, I'm gonna give that she-catCopy !req
682. the whopping she's been asking for.Copy !req
683. - Boo!Copy !req
684. - Let them know who wears
the pants around here.Copy !req
685. - Yeah, and who wears
the stupid-looking hat.Copy !req
686. - Be back in a minute.Copy !req
687. - Heh, good one, Ed,
I gotta give you that one.Copy !req
688. - Come back there, I'll lend you a jug.Copy !req
689. She'll be doing it.Copy !req
690. - Ha ha, I soiled myself.Copy !req
691. - Tell us about that thing you killedCopy !req
692. out there at the swamp, will ya?Copy !req
693. - Maybe we should
have subtitles for this.Copy !req
694. - I put five slugs into that
critter before it went under.Copy !req
695. - Then I had a few slugs myself.Copy !req
696. And then I went under.Copy !req
697. - Had regular arms on it like a man.Copy !req
698. - But made for a woman.Copy !req
699. - Sorta different looking,
had suckers on them.Copy !req
700. - Tootsie Pop, I think.Copy !req
701. - Like one of them...Copy !req
702. Like one of them octopuses.Copy !req
703. - That's octopi, actually.Copy !req
704. - Boy, it was plum awful-looking.Copy !req
705. - Man, you sure that critter wasn't pink?Copy !req
706. - Shut up, Bruce.Copy !req
707. - I told you before, it
was sorta gray-looking.Copy !req
708. - You gotta check
with String Bean to laugh?Copy !req
709. - Well, laugh if you want.Copy !req
710. - Ha.Copy !req
711. - But that thing weren't
nothing nature put out there.Copy !req
712. No sir, and it weren't
no freak gator, neither.Copy !req
713. - Maybe it was the rocket
fuel you've been drinking.Copy !req
714. - I've been poaching in
this country for 40 yearsCopy !req
715. and I ain't never seen nothing like it.Copy !req
716. - Uh, that's a double negative.Copy !req
717. - Too bad you didn't bring it back.Copy !req
718. Steve Benton'd probably
pay a fair bounty for it,Copy !req
719. whatever it was.Copy !req
720. - Bounty?Copy !req
721. I wouldn't touch that critter
for all the money ever made.Copy !req
722. - 10 bucks?Copy !req
723. - And if you'd seen it,
you wouldn't, neither.Copy !req
724. - You better take it easy on the stuff.Copy !req
725. You looking kinda taken.Copy !req
726. - Oh, this is an intervention.Copy !req
727. - Shucks, it's just tobacco juice.Copy !req
728. - I'm gonna clean my otter
lines out before morning.Copy !req
729. - No! Not in front of us, please!Copy !req
730. - I think that critter's a
ghost of one of those ottersCopy !req
731. you've been poaching all these years,Copy !req
732. coming back to haunt you.Copy !req
733. - Our joy, Crow's friend.Copy !req
734. - Well if that's so, you fellersCopy !req
735. will see it right quick yourselves.Copy !req
736. - Yeah, that's great.Copy !req
737. When you get near a sentence, let us know.Copy !req
738. - Do you really thinkCopy !req
739. this loitering is good for business?Copy !req
740. - This sitting
around plum wore me out.Copy !req
741. - The Hooterville Seven.Copy !req
742. - I think she knows
how to scratch an itch.Copy !req
743. - Ordinary pantyhose
are okay under funky clothes,Copy !req
744. but gentlemen prefer Hanes.Copy !req
745. - Pete Fountain.Copy !req
746. - Quit wearing my things.Copy !req
747. - Boss Hog, after dark.Copy !req
748. - Look, it's not like I wanna be meanCopy !req
749. or anything like that, Liz, baby.Copy !req
750. But I got a reputation around here.Copy !req
751. - As a big fat insensitive guy?Copy !req
752. - No respect for a man who
lets his woman boss him.Copy !req
753. Next thing you know,
they'll be laughing at me.Copy !req
754. - Then I'd have to
go on a shooting spree.Copy !req
755. - Won't you please
listen to me, Liz, baby?Copy !req
756. Liz?Copy !req
757. - I'm not hearing you, la la la...Copy !req
758. - Sir, my name's
not Liz, it's Blanch.Copy !req
759. I love it when she puts it on there.Copy !req
760. I just like the smell.Copy !req
761. - Liz, honey, you think
you could lose some weight?Copy !req
762. - You know, she's gonna sharpenCopy !req
763. those calf muscles with those heels.Copy !req
764. - Stop looking at me like that.Copy !req
765. - I'll look at you any way
I want, you're my wife.Copy !req
766. - Man, I do
wonder what it'd be likeCopy !req
767. to make love to you, though.Copy !req
768. - No, don't do that, lady!Copy !req
769. - It's okay.Copy !req
770. Oh, Mommy!Copy !req
771. - Honey West.Copy !req
772. - Joel, I thought
underwear was supposed to match.Copy !req
773. - Who do you think you're talking to?Copy !req
774. "Don't touch me." You're my wife.Copy !req
775. I'll touch you any time I feel like it.Copy !req
776. - You must have
a real good personality.Copy !req
777. - Can I call you sometime?Copy !req
778. - Where you going?Copy !req
779. - A fellow named Humbert
Humbert wants to see me.Copy !req
780. - Where you going?Copy !req
781. - I'm going out.Copy !req
782. - To church.Copy !req
783. - Maybe I'll be back, maybe I won't.Copy !req
784. - Liz, baby.Copy !req
785. - Do I have to guess?Copy !req
786. Do I get a prize if I can guess?Copy !req
787. - Can I eat your dinner then?Copy !req
788. - Shoudn't have married herCopy !req
789. knowing that she loved me.Copy !req
790. - How come we're not moving?Copy !req
791. - Okay, all done.Copy !req
792. - Hey, it's Jim from Wild Kingdom.Copy !req
793. - Well, there was a young oneCopy !req
794. in the last trap, I had to kill it.Copy !req
795. - Oh, poor thing.Copy !req
796. - Yeah, boo-hoo.Copy !req
797. - Told you, you shouldn't have come along.Copy !req
798. - Well, let's have some kids.Copy !req
799. - But I love sitting
in a smelly pickup truck.Copy !req
800. - I can understand hunting an animal,Copy !req
801. but making it suffer in those traps...Copy !req
802. - Hey, I suffer
in the trap of love.Copy !req
803. - These poachers know the swampsCopy !req
804. like the back of their hands.Copy !req
805. But I'll catch one in the act some nightCopy !req
806. and put him away for six months.Copy !req
807. - My, he's rugged.Copy !req
808. - In the meantime, I'll
have to be satisfiedCopy !req
809. confiscating their trap lines.Copy !req
810. - That's reward enough.Copy !req
811. - Lose enough traps, it won't
pay them to keep trying.Copy !req
812. - Be careful, darling.Copy !req
813. These people aren't like other folks.Copy !req
814. They'll try and get back at you.Copy !req
815. - They've got
seven toes on each foot.Copy !req
816. - Steve, you're a stranger here.Copy !req
817. They've lived this way for generations.Copy !req
818. One man isn't gonna change them overnight.Copy !req
819. - Yeah, they gotta wanna change.Copy !req
820. - I'm serious, Steve,
they can be dangerous.Copy !req
821. - Okay, I'll be careful.Copy !req
822. You just stop worrying.Copy !req
823. - Uh-huh.Copy !req
824. - Oh, he's the killer leech.Copy !req
825. - No, lech. It's the
attack of the killer lech.Copy !req
826. - (sigh) Oh, Steve, I love you.Copy !req
827. I love you so much.Copy !req
828. - What was that?Copy !req
829. - I don't know, you get in
the truck and lock it up.Copy !req
830. - Sounded like Hee Haw.Copy !req
831. - Could you leave the Mad Dog here?Copy !req
832. - She dresses pretty
formally for a leech hunt.Copy !req
833. - Becky, we were
just playing a little game.Copy !req
834. - Oh, thanks for
comforting me with a gun.Copy !req
835. - Ugh.Copy !req
836. - Uh, he's a mess.Copy !req
837. A chocolate mess.Copy !req
838. - Mmm, breakfast beans.Copy !req
839. - Aw, this guy's
the sheriff of everything.Copy !req
840. - The coroner ruled that
Sawyer died in a misadventure.Copy !req
841. As far as this officer's
concerned, that's the end of it.Copy !req
842. - That's a common cause of death.Copy !req
843. - If Lem was killed by anything human,Copy !req
844. I wouldn't need you to tell me my job.Copy !req
845. - Ah, shut up
and finish your Kaboom.Copy !req
846. - ... looking for an overgrown gator.Copy !req
847. - What do I look like, a cop?Copy !req
848. - Sawyer wasn't killed by an alligator.Copy !req
849. - Is that so?Copy !req
850. Did you hear that, Morton?Copy !req
851. Game warden Benton says it
wasn't a gator that killed Lem.Copy !req
852. Well then, what was it?Copy !req
853. You know so much, go on,
tell me, what killed him?Copy !req
854. - It was low level stress, Troy.Copy !req
855. - The wounds were the kind a squidCopy !req
856. or a large octopus might cause.Copy !req
857. - I love squid!Copy !req
858. - Sure, did Greyson explain
how a saltwater creatureCopy !req
859. happened to be 30 miles
inland living in clear water?Copy !req
860. - Stranger things have happened.Copy !req
861. - Look here, Benton,
you work for the state.Copy !req
862. - The state of confusion.Copy !req
863. - Why don't you keep your
nose out of county business?Copy !req
864. Is that clear enough for you?Copy !req
865. - Oh, go soak your fat head.Copy !req
866. - Okay then, well
I'll go get some soap and...Copy !req
867. Hey, wait a minute!Copy !req
868. - What was that you said?Copy !req
869. - I said go soak your fat head.Copy !req
870. - Is that exactly
how you phrased it?Copy !req
871. Wasn't there more of a lilting quality?Copy !req
872. Gah!Copy !req
873. - Why if I wasn't so
stuffed with beans right now.Copy !req
874. - He's sure going to get it.Copy !req
875. You can bet on that.Copy !req
876. - I thought it was
funny, Sheriff. (laughs)Copy !req
877. - Gary Busey, ladies
and gentlemen, Gary Busey.Copy !req
878. - Look, I sneezed on my dictionary.Copy !req
879. - You see, the octopi
uses its suction discsCopy !req
880. to hold its prey.Copy !req
881. - Like I hold a sandwich.Copy !req
882. - The disc will not inflict a wound.Copy !req
883. Same is true with a squid.Copy !req
884. Now both creatures have a parrot-like beakCopy !req
885. as their primary offensive
and defensive weapon.Copy !req
886. - Maybe the sheriff was right, Dad.Copy !req
887. - I think I know
where the drapes went.Copy !req
888. - Could be a freak or
a malformed alligator.Copy !req
889. - Thanks for the
coffee, Mrs. Cleavage.Copy !req
890. - No, I'm afraid it wasn't.Copy !req
891. - Well where does that leave us, Doc?Copy !req
892. - In the living room.Copy !req
893. - Wish I knew.Copy !req
894. You know, I'm beginning to thinkCopy !req
895. Lem was telling the
truth in Walker's store.Copy !req
896. He did see something that night.Copy !req
897. Something that had intelligence enoughCopy !req
898. to seek him out and destroy him later.Copy !req
899. - That was smart.Copy !req
900. - Sawyer claims to have
killed the thing he saw.Copy !req
901. Put a half a dozen rifle bullets into it.Copy !req
902. I've seen that old 44-40 he used.Copy !req
903. Nothing could live after
being hit with those slugs.Copy !req
904. - Only half a cup?Copy !req
905. Don't I like my coffee?Copy !req
906. - Conceding the possibility
of one such creature,Copy !req
907. we must also concede the
possibility of others.Copy !req
908. - Oh, sorry, you lost me.Copy !req
909. You know, this coffee's wonderful.Copy !req
910. - There's one sure way of finding out.Copy !req
911. Go in and search every backwater channelCopy !req
912. and wet spot in the swamp.Copy !req
913. - Any volunteers?Copy !req
914. - If it's there, I'll find it.Copy !req
915. - It all points
to one thing, Drake.Copy !req
916. This coffee's grand.Copy !req
917. Aw, heck, honey.Copy !req
918. I got a motor on this thing.Copy !req
919. I just remembered.Copy !req
920. - Do you know any other camp songs?Copy !req
921. - Let's see, Barnacle Bill?Copy !req
922. - Yeah, watever you do,Copy !req
923. don't help me paddle, Miss Dead Weight.Copy !req
924. - Well you know, a
visor might've been helpful.Copy !req
925. - It's a swamp, should
we bring our evil in here?Copy !req
926. - Charlie, there's
leeches all over your back.Copy !req
927. - It sure is quiet around here.Copy !req
928. - What is she, on her
lunch break from Wendy's?Copy !req
929. - Here, leechy, leechy, leechy.Copy !req
930. Come on, nice leechy, leechy, leechy.Copy !req
931. - I'll tell you
one thing right now.Copy !req
932. I am not going to portage this thing.Copy !req
933. - You know, maybe
this isn't the right timeCopy !req
934. to talk about this, but I love muffins.Copy !req
935. You know those real fancy
nut and fruit muffinsCopy !req
936. they got, full of whole grain?Copy !req
937. - Simon, no!Copy !req
938. - The heck?Copy !req
939. - Did you hear something?Copy !req
940. - Um, I heard you say,
"Did you hear something?"Copy !req
941. - Well, whatever it was,
it's not here anymore.Copy !req
942. - Probably over
the state line by now.Copy !req
943. - Be quiet.Copy !req
944. Phil Harris and Curt Gowdy
are duck hunting back there.Copy !req
945. - Do you want some coffee?Copy !req
946. - Again with the coffee!Copy !req
947. Well, it is very good coffee.Copy !req
948. - An Army could hide in
here and never be noticed.Copy !req
949. - One did.Copy !req
950. - What?Copy !req
951. The Seminoles under Osceola in the 1830s.Copy !req
952. - Aw gee, I was just
trying to break the ice.Copy !req
953. I don't need a history lesson.Copy !req
954. - I remember reading about
Osceola in high school.Copy !req
955. - Yeah, those Seminoles.Copy !req
956. Boy, they drink a lot of coffee.Copy !req
957. - I've only been at it two
days and I feel worn out.Copy !req
958. - Probably 'cause of my stories.Copy !req
959. - Might as well keep on looking around.Copy !req
960. - Okay, well then,
like some more coffee?Copy !req
961. I'll get you some more coffee.Copy !req
962. Dinner's ready back here.Copy !req
963. Do you want Rice-A-Roni?Copy !req
964. There's some steak tartareCopy !req
965. and some little O'Brien potatoes.Copy !req
966. - Hey, what's this hole in the...Copy !req
967. Augh!Copy !req
968. - I feel like Lewis and Clark.Copy !req
969. - Really?Copy !req
970. - You be Jerry
Lewis, I'll be Petula Clark.Copy !req
971. - Well, I guess we may as
well give up for the day.Copy !req
972. - You won't get any arguments from me.Copy !req
973. - Okay, let's go.Copy !req
974. - But I don't wanna go now.Copy !req
975. - What?Copy !req
976. - Will the leech survive?Copy !req
977. Will they drink more coffee?Copy !req
978. And will the fat guy's
wife ever touch him?Copy !req
979. And what about Naomi?Copy !req
980. - Hi there.Copy !req
981. - Look, either pick
up a paddle or sit still.Copy !req
982. Is it asking too much to pull overCopy !req
983. to a station and ask for directions?Copy !req
984. - No.Copy !req
985. Can we do something different
next time we go out,Copy !req
986. like go to a restaurant or something?Copy !req
987. - Hello again.Copy !req
988. I'm the leech.Copy !req
989. See you later.Copy !req
990. Well, let's see, that'll hold meCopy !req
991. 'til I get to the office anyway.Copy !req
992. - ♫ Doin' the Big Fig NewtonCopy !req
993. - I'm asking you for the
last time, Dave Walker.Copy !req
994. - Did you eat the last moon pie?Copy !req
995. - Will you answer me, you dirty old man?Copy !req
996. - Dirty old man?Copy !req
997. The ropers get more action than I...Copy !req
998. - I ain't dirty, Liz, baby.Copy !req
999. - Liz baby, Liz honey.Copy !req
1000. Can't you think of anything
else to say, stupid?Copy !req
1001. - Gotta get this order
over to Miss Sholby.Copy !req
1002. She's one of my better customers.Copy !req
1003. - You know, I think
the bloom's off the rose.Copy !req
1004. - I love you, Liz, baby.Copy !req
1005. - But I love groceries more.Copy !req
1006. - Get out.Copy !req
1007. Get out, you fat pig!Copy !req
1008. - Now wait a minute.Copy !req
1009. I don't go calling you a
beautiful shapely woman, do I?Copy !req
1010. - Oh, forgot my hat.Copy !req
1011. - Cleanup on aisle three, please.Copy !req
1012. - Listen, don't even ask, alright?Copy !req
1013. - You know women, Cal.Copy !req
1014. Gotta get their hair
down every now and then.Copy !req
1015. - You sure do know an
awful lot about females.Copy !req
1016. - Well, I was a female once.Copy !req
1017. - I can't stand here and jaunt, Cal.Copy !req
1018. - Gotta save my jaw for eating.Copy !req
1019. - Here you go, Miss Sholby.Copy !req
1020. - Well...Copy !req
1021. ever since Lem got himself killed,Copy !req
1022. she wants me to sell
out and move into town.Copy !req
1023. - And leave all this?Copy !req
1024. - Don't you let her bamboozle you, Dave.Copy !req
1025. You belong right here in the store.Copy !req
1026. After all, place wouldn't be
the same without you around.Copy !req
1027. - Well, there'd be more
oxygen for the rest of us.Copy !req
1028. - Thanks, Cal.Copy !req
1029. I better get going.Copy !req
1030. See you when I get back.Copy !req
1031. - Yeah, I'll be around.Copy !req
1032. - Ah, what a rich life, huh?Copy !req
1033. Flipping a walnut in a sieve all day.Copy !req
1034. - Heh heh, now I got
my pick of the wicker baskets.Copy !req
1035. - Hey, where are
your outboard motor...Copy !req
1036. Oh, there they are.Copy !req
1037. - Liz, baby.Copy !req
1038. - Cora?Copy !req
1039. - Yeah, I'm here about the affair.Copy !req
1040. I have an appointment
for 2 o'clock Wednesday.Copy !req
1041. - Say, could you
show me some sundries?Copy !req
1042. - You want something, Cal?Copy !req
1043. - Uh, do I still have a tab going?Copy !req
1044. - I sure do, honey.Copy !req
1045. - Well, I'm real partial
to them Hormel dinner meals.Copy !req
1046. - What, I'm not a mind reader.Copy !req
1047. - Wow.Copy !req
1048. - Boy, some strong coffee,
I'm getting buzzed.Copy !req
1049. My neck plate's quiveringCopy !req
1050. and my cute little acrylic
hands are shaking and sweaty.Copy !req
1051. Fill her up, Joel!Copy !req
1052. - Okay, I thought so.Copy !req
1053. Anything you say, little amigo.Copy !req
1054. - More sugar, please!Copy !req
1055. - Okay, I'm right on
it, Gypsy, no problem.Copy !req
1056. - Oy, Joel, today's experiment's got bite.Copy !req
1057. It's like...Copy !req
1058. - It's like a fever dream, Crow.Copy !req
1059. Or like one of those dreams
when you get home at midnightCopy !req
1060. and you wolf down the
Ukrainian sausage pastryCopy !req
1061. and a gross beer, then
you go straight to bed?Copy !req
1062. - Yeah, or when you just got
off a 12-hour shift at Arby'sCopy !req
1063. and you're watching TV at 3am,Copy !req
1064. and then you fall asleep during Omega Man.Copy !req
1065. - Do you have any more half-and-half?Copy !req
1066. - No problem.Copy !req
1067. You know, I had a really
weird dream last night.Copy !req
1068. I dreamed that we all got back to EarthCopy !req
1069. and then you guys got a duplex together.Copy !req
1070. - You know, just last night,Copy !req
1071. I dreamed that I had a
really nice girlfriendCopy !req
1072. with red hair and a blue dress,Copy !req
1073. then she turned into a gargoyle
and I was really scared,Copy !req
1074. but then Jesus came and
everything was okay.Copy !req
1075. - You saw Jesus?Copy !req
1076. - Yeah. Real nice guy, too.Copy !req
1077. Thinner than you might think.Copy !req
1078. - I don't remember my
dreams too often, Joel.Copy !req
1079. - You know, I never could either,Copy !req
1080. until I started keeping a journal.Copy !req
1081. - Hey, I'm curious, what
do you dream about, Gypsy?Copy !req
1082. - I dream I fly in color.Copy !req
1083. - Oh, you dreamed you flew.Copy !req
1084. That means you're intuitive.Copy !req
1085. - I have one dream about a
little French café in Paris,Copy !req
1086. right off the route of Florentine.Copy !req
1087. What was that waiter's name?Copy !req
1088. - John Woo!Copy !req
1089. - You had that dream, too?Copy !req
1090. - We got movie sign!Copy !req
1091. - Careful, I spilled
a little coffee right there.Copy !req
1092. - I am wired.Copy !req
1093. - I didn't hurt you now, did I?Copy !req
1094. - It's just, you're so strong.Copy !req
1095. - Smelling, I mean.Copy !req
1096. - I like a man who's strong.Copy !req
1097. - Smelling, I mean.Copy !req
1098. - You sure picked a doozy, that man, Dave.Copy !req
1099. I don't think he's got a muscle in him.Copy !req
1100. Just a big piece of flab.Copy !req
1101. - You're talking
about the flab I love.Copy !req
1102. - Come on now, I didn't
mean anything against you.Copy !req
1103. - I mean, you're
a little piece of flab.Copy !req
1104. - Just that I can't see
a real woman like youCopy !req
1105. tied up with a tub of lard like that.Copy !req
1106. - Just can't imagine
you making love is all.Copy !req
1107. - You wouldn't understand, Cal.Copy !req
1108. You know, I wanted to tell you.Copy !req
1109. - I'm the Ronald
McDonald for this region.Copy !req
1110. - You just wouldn't understand.Copy !req
1111. - Try me.Copy !req
1112. - Free trial
sample, try me for a week.Copy !req
1113. - Sister, you got roots.Copy !req
1114. - Huh?Copy !req
1115. - Did you say something?Copy !req
1116. I wasn't listening.Copy !req
1117. - You crazy...Copy !req
1118. - Kinda looks like a
forest up there in your nose.Copy !req
1119. - You could tell me you killed your paCopy !req
1120. and your ma and your whole family.Copy !req
1121. I'll fight to protect you.Copy !req
1122. - Ouch, my keys.Copy !req
1123. - Hey, remember my paCopy !req
1124. and my ma and the whole family?Copy !req
1125. - We now return
to Fat Guy Goes Nutsoid,Copy !req
1126. a Tromo presentation.Copy !req
1127. - He's using an adulterer decoy.Copy !req
1128. Come on, baby.Copy !req
1129. - Miss Sholby, I
got your groceries here.Copy !req
1130. Don't want no trouble this time.Copy !req
1131. - Like that guy
could sneak up on somebody.Copy !req
1132. - Honey?Copy !req
1133. Making out with one of
my friends back here?Copy !req
1134. - Hmm, Swamp Blanket Bingo.Copy !req
1135. - Let's see now,
there's some trees and a carCopy !req
1136. and my wife making out with... oh?Copy !req
1137. - First husband was a no-good bum.Copy !req
1138. - Second husband, no-good bum.Copy !req
1139. Third husband, no-good bum.Copy !req
1140. - He used to get lushed up,Copy !req
1141. come home and beat up on me.Copy !req
1142. - Oh, Merle Haggard.Copy !req
1143. - Hey.Copy !req
1144. - George Jones?Copy !req
1145. - Nothing but a prized pig.Copy !req
1146. - One night, he tried to
hold up a gas station.Copy !req
1147. - But he wasn't very
strong and it fell on him.Copy !req
1148. - He was so drunk, he couldn't even run.Copy !req
1149. They caught him less than a mile away.Copy !req
1150. He got set up.Copy !req
1151. I got a divorce.Copy !req
1152. - Then I dated David
Sole for a while and...Copy !req
1153. same thing.Copy !req
1154. - After three years with him...Copy !req
1155. - Hey, she's
really opening up to him.Copy !req
1156. - I wish I could've been there.Copy !req
1157. I'd know how to take care
of a woman like you, Liz.Copy !req
1158. - Maybe it is too late, Cal.Copy !req
1159. - Oh, good thing they
brought a make-out tarp.Copy !req
1160. - I believe this is my dance.Copy !req
1161. - You're wrong, woman.Copy !req
1162. It's too late for the both of you.Copy !req
1163. - Uh, she dropped
her contact lens in my mouthCopy !req
1164. and was trying to get
it out with her tongue.Copy !req
1165. Yeah, that's it.Copy !req
1166. - Go on, get up.Copy !req
1167. - Now look, Dave, I know
what you're thinking, but—Copy !req
1168. - I got double large
shot in this here thing.Copy !req
1169. You got two seconds
before I pull the trigger.Copy !req
1170. - Okay, so I guess I'll
be seeing you there, huh?Copy !req
1171. - Don't get riled, Dave.Copy !req
1172. - Just advancing
the plot, nothing personal.Copy !req
1173. - She's been pestering me
for months to take her out.Copy !req
1174. - Sure, Cal, I understand.Copy !req
1175. Get her up so I can get a better lookCopy !req
1176. at the lying little tramp.Copy !req
1177. - Which one of
us is the lying... oh.Copy !req
1178. - Come on, get up.Copy !req
1179. - No, he'll kill me, he'll kill me.Copy !req
1180. - Now your husband wants
to take a look at you.Copy !req
1181. - Uh, is this her?Copy !req
1182. - You, uh, walk all the way, Dave?Copy !req
1183. - No, there's a
motorcycle in my pants.Copy !req
1184. What do you think?Copy !req
1185. - Get over there!Copy !req
1186. - Now, Dave, it ain't as bad as you think.Copy !req
1187. - It's fantastic.Copy !req
1188. - Tramp.Copy !req
1189. - What are you gonna do?Copy !req
1190. - I'm gonna make
you listen to Supertramp.Copy !req
1191. - Dave, you put down that gunCopy !req
1192. before I get mad and make you eat it!Copy !req
1193. - Eat it?Copy !req
1194. Hmm... hey, don't try to distract me.Copy !req
1195. - Go right ahead and try.Copy !req
1196. - I know what you're thinking.Copy !req
1197. Did I fire one shot or only one?Copy !req
1198. - Every weekend, I go through this.Copy !req
1199. - No, just wanted the tarp.Copy !req
1200. - Now it's The Most Dangerous Game.Copy !req
1201. - I'll say.Copy !req
1202. - This is more
like Night at the IguanaCopy !req
1203. than Attack of the Giant Leeches.Copy !req
1204. - Quick, let's go
tell the camp councilor.Copy !req
1205. He'll help us.Copy !req
1206. - Come on!Copy !req
1207. - I can't go any further!Copy !req
1208. - I got nowhere else to go!Copy !req
1209. - (burp)Copy !req
1210. - You two go on without me!Copy !req
1211. Oh, wait a minute, that's all wrong.Copy !req
1212. - Thunder Husband.Copy !req
1213. - I'll catch you,
you rascally adulterers.Copy !req
1214. Wait a minute, he's loading
his gun with Tootsie Rolls.Copy !req
1215. - Go on, run! Run 'til you drop!Copy !req
1216. - Like I will!Copy !req
1217. - Uh, let me
guess, she broke a heel?Copy !req
1218. - Yeah, she's the
girl, she's supposed to.Copy !req
1219. - Now what is with the mud?Copy !req
1220. Did we miss some metaphor?Copy !req
1221. - Soil of the soul or something?Copy !req
1222. - Heh heh, pull!Copy !req
1223. That one was just for me. Hah!Copy !req
1224. - I can't go on anymore, I can't.Copy !req
1225. You gotta let me stop
and rest for a minute.Copy !req
1226. - Shut up!Copy !req
1227. - Hey, that was
his heart blowing up.Copy !req
1228. - I can't go on, Cal.Copy !req
1229. - There's gotta be a trailer parkCopy !req
1230. around here somewhere.Copy !req
1231. - Man, look at all the weed.Copy !req
1232. Where are they, Tommy Chong's backyard?Copy !req
1233. - Suddenly,
they're the defiant ones.Copy !req
1234. - (sigh)Copy !req
1235. - Welp, guess you caught up to us.Copy !req
1236. - Go on, keep going.Copy !req
1237. - Dave, please, you gotta listen.Copy !req
1238. It wasn't my fault, honest.Copy !req
1239. She kept playing up to me every
time you turned your back.Copy !req
1240. It wasn't my fault.Copy !req
1241. - I can't be held accountable.Copy !req
1242. She's got bosoms and everything.Copy !req
1243. - You and your muscles.Copy !req
1244. - Ew, she snagged on him.Copy !req
1245. - If it wasn't for you, I
wouldn't be in this fix.Copy !req
1246. And my old friend Dave wouldn't
be doing this thing to me.Copy !req
1247. It's all your fault!Copy !req
1248. - Oh! (spit)Copy !req
1249. - She did it again.Copy !req
1250. - Get going.Copy !req
1251. - But Dave...Copy !req
1252. We've been friends a long time, Dave.Copy !req
1253. You wouldn't kill an old friend, Dave.Copy !req
1254. - If you don't move, I'll
kill you where you stand.Copy !req
1255. - But Dave!Copy !req
1256. - He's crazy, man.Copy !req
1257. - Did he just kill him or what?Copy !req
1258. - And as for you,
young lady, you're grounded.Copy !req
1259. - They're melting.Copy !req
1260. - Please, Dave!Copy !req
1261. - I'm sorry, Dave.Copy !req
1262. Don't make us go to the deep end.Copy !req
1263. We're not ready for the deep end yet.Copy !req
1264. - Hey, quit laughing,
I'm trying to humiliate you.Copy !req
1265. - I'm sorry, Dave!Copy !req
1266. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!Copy !req
1267. - Please, Dave, treat
me out to chicken corden bleu.Copy !req
1268. - You think you learned enoughCopy !req
1269. to stay away from my woman, Cal?Copy !req
1270. - I learned plenty!Copy !req
1271. I got a PhD in staying
away from your wife!Copy !req
1272. - I'll do anything you
say, Dave, anything!Copy !req
1273. - Would you rob a shop?Copy !req
1274. - Come on out of there.Copy !req
1275. - Dave, give me a hand.Copy !req
1276. - Ay caramba!Copy !req
1277. - Look out, behind you!Copy !req
1278. - Oh, Dave!Copy !req
1279. - Uh, don't help or anything, Dave.Copy !req
1280. - Gee, it was okay to
shoot them, but this... yeck!Copy !req
1281. - Think they know we're here?Copy !req
1282. - Ain't nothing down here, sir.Copy !req
1283. - Except for these dead folks.Copy !req
1284. - Well, I'm getting tired of this.Copy !req
1285. Come on in, boys!Copy !req
1286. Now, if there was any bodies out there,Copy !req
1287. we'd have found them.Copy !req
1288. Now I want some straight answers, Walker.Copy !req
1289. And don't give me anymoreCopy !req
1290. of that crud about monsters, neither.Copy !req
1291. Where'd you hide them
after you killed them?Copy !req
1292. - (burp) Sorry.Copy !req
1293. - I told you the truth, Sheriff.Copy !req
1294. I didn't kill them.Copy !req
1295. - I ate them.Copy !req
1296. - I just wanted to scare them good.Copy !req
1297. - Don't cry, I hate it when you cry.Copy !req
1298. - I wouldn't do anything to hurt her.Copy !req
1299. I loved her.Copy !req
1300. - I loved her more
than twice baked potatoes.Copy !req
1301. - You loved her.Copy !req
1302. That's why you chased her
through the swamp with a shotgun.Copy !req
1303. - Well it's tough love, admittedly.Copy !req
1304. - Where'd you hide the bodies?Copy !req
1305. - Won't you believe me?Copy !req
1306. It was them monsters, they—Copy !req
1307. - Take him out of here
before I lose my temper.Copy !req
1308. - Gary Cooper in a cameo role.Copy !req
1309. Gary Cooper, ladies and
gentlemen, Gary Cooper.Copy !req
1310. - Hey, it's Bartles and Jaymes.Copy !req
1311. - County pay a reward if someone
finds the bodies, Sheriff?Copy !req
1312. - Reward.Copy !req
1313. - $50.Copy !req
1314. - And you get to keep the body.Copy !req
1315. - Each?Copy !req
1316. - For those extra genes you need.Copy !req
1317. - Yeah.Copy !req
1318. - Sounds like Africa.Copy !req
1319. - You know, I never
thought that of ol' Dave.Copy !req
1320. Course, everybody know that Cal and LizCopy !req
1321. had a hankering for each other.Copy !req
1322. - I think it went
way beyond hankering.Copy !req
1323. - Mhm.Copy !req
1324. - Darn fools.Copy !req
1325. Grappling out there in
the middle of the water.Copy !req
1326. If the bodies is still in there,Copy !req
1327. you can bet some old bull gator's got himCopy !req
1328. stuffed in his cave under the bank,Copy !req
1329. letting him ripen up for a few days.Copy !req
1330. - Uh, Jeb, you
got a real dark side.Copy !req
1331. - What we need now is
some long cypress polesCopy !req
1332. to go in there and pull...Copy !req
1333. - We'll drink
the pond dry, and then—Copy !req
1334. - No, no.Copy !req
1335. - Otis, your Quisp is ready.Copy !req
1336. - He's stuck to the ceiling.Copy !req
1337. - Great, a swinger.Copy !req
1338. Always on my shift.Copy !req
1339. - For crying out loud.Copy !req
1340. - I just love these Hummels.Copy !req
1341. - I'm sorry, Doc, I can't do it.Copy !req
1342. - I'll have to do it myself.Copy !req
1343. - Wouldn't wanna have to
arrest you, Doc, but I willCopy !req
1344. if I find you near the
preserve with any explosives.Copy !req
1345. - Steve!Copy !req
1346. - Sorry, Nan, that's
the way it's gotta be.Copy !req
1347. - I'm a jerk.Copy !req
1348. - Steve's right, Nan.Copy !req
1349. It's his job to protect wildlife.Copy !req
1350. - What about human life?Copy !req
1351. Three people have been
killed in that game preserve.Copy !req
1352. Doesn't that mean anything to you?Copy !req
1353. - Nan, try to understand.Copy !req
1354. - I'm a jerk.Copy !req
1355. - If something in the
swamp was responsibleCopy !req
1356. for those deaths, I
wouldn't hesitate a minute.Copy !req
1357. We've been together the last three days.Copy !req
1358. We didn't see a trace of anything unusual.Copy !req
1359. - Except for that 10-foot leech.Copy !req
1360. - Not so much as a suggestionCopy !req
1361. of any form of life unknown to us.Copy !req
1362. - Steve!Copy !req
1363. - Woah, Easy Lift needs adjusting.Copy !req
1364. - Alright, I'll admit Sawyer's deathCopy !req
1365. left a lot of questions unanswered.Copy !req
1366. But you can bet your bottom dollarCopy !req
1367. the other two died from
Dave Walker's shotgun.Copy !req
1368. - Do you really believe that?Copy !req
1369. - Figure it out, Nan.Copy !req
1370. Walk admitted chasing his wife and CalCopy !req
1371. into the swamps after
he found them together.Copy !req
1372. - Cow?Copy !req
1373. He shot them and he triedCopy !req
1374. to place the blame on Sawyer's DTs.Copy !req
1375. If Sawyer told us seeing purple giraffesCopy !req
1376. with polka-dot tails walking around...Copy !req
1377. - Woah, woah, back up a bit there.Copy !req
1378. - There's one argument
against that, Steve.Copy !req
1379. Dave Walker wasn't the kind
of a man to hang himself.Copy !req
1380. - Nah, he's a blade man.Copy !req
1381. I talked with Dave less than an hourCopy !req
1382. before he killed himself.Copy !req
1383. - Maybe that's why.Copy !req
1384. - I've seen frightened
men before, terrified men,Copy !req
1385. but I've never seen to
compare with the horrorCopy !req
1386. and the fear in Walker's eyes.Copy !req
1387. - He realized what he'd done.Copy !req
1388. He killed two people, one his wife.Copy !req
1389. - One, his Cal.Copy !req
1390. - Look, Doc, Nan and I
were all over that swamp.Copy !req
1391. - And each other.Copy !req
1392. - Why didn't
these monsters attack us?Copy !req
1393. - I've been thinking about that.Copy !req
1394. They're probably night creatures.Copy !req
1395. They can't stand the light.Copy !req
1396. They stay down near the
bottom during the day.Copy !req
1397. - Like comedians.Copy !req
1398. - A small charge would stun themCopy !req
1399. and bring them to the surface.Copy !req
1400. - Can't bite, Doc.Copy !req
1401. - Pig-headed Steve Benton.Copy !req
1402. - No, it's Steve-headed Pig Benton.Copy !req
1403. - Stubborn and pig-headed.Copy !req
1404. - You just don't understand, do you?Copy !req
1405. - I'm a jerk!Copy !req
1406. - Oh, I'll go make some coffee.Copy !req
1407. - She doesn't
understand I'm a jerk, sir.Copy !req
1408. - Whatever.Copy !req
1409. - Goodnight, Doc.Copy !req
1410. - Goodnight, jerk.Copy !req
1411. - I'm a beaver,Copy !req
1412. and this is the view from my living room.Copy !req
1413. Enjoy!Copy !req
1414. - Hi, I'm back.Copy !req
1415. - (singing in foreign language)Copy !req
1416. - Got any Deep Woods Off there?Copy !req
1417. - Well at least we's paddlingCopy !req
1418. in the same direction now.Copy !req
1419. - Right over there in them reeds...Copy !req
1420. - Is where my Daddy met my Pappy.Copy !req
1421. - Wish we could see him.Copy !req
1422. You can't personalize a monster like this.Copy !req
1423. - Hey, look, a lot
of golf balls down in there.Copy !req
1424. - Just can't figure ol' Dave out.Copy !req
1425. - He's a complex fellow.Copy !req
1426. - What would you do?Copy !req
1427. - I hadn't thought of that.Copy !req
1428. - I hadn't thought
of anything, never.Copy !req
1429. - Right over there in them reeds...Copy !req
1430. - Jerry Reed, Rex
Reed, Willis Reed, Donna Reed,Copy !req
1431. Lou Reed, Reed Richards, Robert Reed.Copy !req
1432. - These guys are
inqesively incompetent.Copy !req
1433. - Don't look now, I
think they found Jimmy Hoffa.Copy !req
1434. - Oh, take me to
the sweet mushroom palace,Copy !req
1435. my friend booze.Copy !req
1436. - There is sure a lot left.Copy !req
1437. - That's the suntan lotion! (gags)Copy !req
1438. - You ever feel like
crying and you don't know why?Copy !req
1439. - Sure is funny.Copy !req
1440. - Huh?Copy !req
1441. - Gallagher. Said he sure is funny.Copy !req
1442. - Noticed anything?Copy !req
1443. - What?Copy !req
1444. - We've been prodding
around here all morning.Copy !req
1445. Ain't run across a single gator.Copy !req
1446. - And I don't have no pants on.Copy !req
1447. - If I'm right, this pool
should be crawling with them.Copy !req
1448. - I'm crawling with something.Copy !req
1449. - Yeah, that is funny.Copy !req
1450. - I don't like the looks of things.Copy !req
1451. - And I don't
like the looks of you.Copy !req
1452. - Well, now wait a minute.Copy !req
1453. We ain't pulled the gator
holes around the bend yet.Copy !req
1454. - You do you what you wanna do, boy.Copy !req
1455. Just get me on dry land, right quick!Copy !req
1456. - Don't ever get off the boat.Copy !req
1457. - No use getting all heated up. Let's go.Copy !req
1458. - Alright, now make thatCopy !req
1459. motor boat noise again, Caleb.Copy !req
1460. - (motor boat noise)Copy !req
1461. - By the way, can
I borrow your fondue set?Copy !req
1462. Sarah and her mother
are coming over later.Copy !req
1463. - Out here on a wild goose chase.Copy !req
1464. - This is the most fantasticCopy !req
1465. undersea odyssey ever filmed!Copy !req
1466. - Oh, I just love
underwater love scenes.Copy !req
1467. Oh great, the leeches have a little fort.Copy !req
1468. - Hello, Bond.Copy !req
1469. Sorry about the formality.Copy !req
1470. - This one's a keeper.Copy !req
1471. We eat tonight.Copy !req
1472. - You ever feel like
you're in a Gary Larson cartoon?Copy !req
1473. - Leeches are just
guys in fancy ponchos.Copy !req
1474. - They're not leeches,
they're scientologists.Copy !req
1475. - They're Sears ponchos.Copy !req
1476. - Oh look, Jim
Henson's Cracker Babies.Copy !req
1477. - Hey, keep it down.Copy !req
1478. We're trying to sleep over here.Copy !req
1479. - You still haven't got it right.Copy !req
1480. We don't want hillbillies with good taste.Copy !req
1481. We want hillbillies that taste good.Copy !req
1482. - Hillbilly Red.Copy !req
1483. - Honey, wake up, they're back.Copy !req
1484. - Wow, he is gonna
have one immense hickey.Copy !req
1485. - He's gonna have
to wear a turtleneck.Copy !req
1486. - How am I gonna
explain this to my husband?Copy !req
1487. Ah, this side.Copy !req
1488. - Aw, puppies.Copy !req
1489. You know, if I didn't know better,Copy !req
1490. I'd say we're in the dumbest
part of the movie right now.Copy !req
1491. - Probably.Copy !req
1492. - There's a madman
'cross the water there.Copy !req
1493. - Buzz bomb reference.Copy !req
1494. - Hey, Bob, you know I'm thinkingCopy !req
1495. about getting me one of
them speedo swimsuits.Copy !req
1496. What do you think?Copy !req
1497. - You'd look sweet, Pete.Copy !req
1498. Can we break for a snack?Copy !req
1499. Dave would've wanted us to.Copy !req
1500. - We're under
here, you can't see us.Copy !req
1501. - Oh, think my pants are shrinking.Copy !req
1502. - All clear!Copy !req
1503. It's clear over here!Copy !req
1504. - I'll be the judge of that.Copy !req
1505. Hey, that's not a scent.Copy !req
1506. That's the other dog you're sniffing.Copy !req
1507. These dogs have been tracking each other!Copy !req
1508. - Flibbity checkers, no.Copy !req
1509. - Is it hot here or is it just me?Copy !req
1510. - Woah, outta here!Copy !req
1511. Feets, don't fail me now.Copy !req
1512. - Stay together, cheeks.Copy !req
1513. - Well, this scene isn't
panning out like I'd hoped.Copy !req
1514. - Hey, spread out, this is my spot.Copy !req
1515. - Yeah yeah, we know,
you saw the best mindsCopy !req
1516. of your generation destroyed
by madness, we know.Copy !req
1517. - Alright, let's keep moving.Copy !req
1518. - To another film?Copy !req
1519. - Champ, Rex, Spot, Otto.Copy !req
1520. - I claim this land
for the queen of Spain.Copy !req
1521. - ♫ Wouldn't you like to glideCopy !req
1522. Man, they're really having
trouble with this scene.Copy !req
1523. Yeah, it's going nowhere.Copy !req
1524. - Well, we can't do anymore tonight.Copy !req
1525. Might as well start back.Copy !req
1526. - Reckon there ain't no use
hurrying now, Mr. Benton.Copy !req
1527. Even if Old Sam was alive,Copy !req
1528. they'd let us know with
a holler or something.Copy !req
1529. - Yeah, kinda looks that way.Copy !req
1530. - You fellas notice
anything about this lake?Copy !req
1531. - Uh, it's wet?Copy !req
1532. - What about them?Copy !req
1533. - They ain't.Copy !req
1534. The water this side usually has
maybe 50, 60 big ones aroundCopy !req
1535. and a whole lot of little ones.Copy !req
1536. - Well I could go
for a piece of one myself.Copy !req
1537. - Maybe our torches scared them away.Copy !req
1538. - Nothing scares gators, nothing.Copy !req
1539. Animal law humor.Copy !req
1540. - But keep in mind,
I'm intensely stupid.Copy !req
1541. - Well we might as well get out of here.Copy !req
1542. - It's TGIF, huh, fellas?Copy !req
1543. - Hmong folk art.Copy !req
1544. - We're worried about
your not smoking, Chad.Copy !req
1545. - You got something in mind, Steve?Copy !req
1546. - Yeah, remember Bub's Daddy gum?Copy !req
1547. - I'm thinking of what
Evan said about the gators.Copy !req
1548. - Yeah, he said, "Ahh!"Copy !req
1549. - Something made them leave, maybe a...Copy !req
1550. - Court order?Copy !req
1551. - Mineral contamination.Copy !req
1552. - Guess we better run some water samples.Copy !req
1553. - Through myself.Copy !req
1554. - Come on, you two, drink your coffee.Copy !req
1555. - Well, I was just
talking about coffee.Copy !req
1556. - And supposing there
is no contamination...Copy !req
1557. - Well we'll add some.Copy !req
1558. - Then I'll send over to
Eastpoint for a diving rig,Copy !req
1559. to go down to look for
this monster of yours.Copy !req
1560. - Now, Steve, don't even joke like that.Copy !req
1561. - You don't know how to tell them.Copy !req
1562. - I'm not joking, Nan.Copy !req
1563. I've had some training with an aqualungCopy !req
1564. while I was in the Navy.Copy !req
1565. - (mimics song
"Aqualung" by Jethro Tull)Copy !req
1566. Two bodies we know for sure
are down there, maybe four.Copy !req
1567. They've got to be brought up.Copy !req
1568. - Wait a minute.Copy !req
1569. There are no alligators in
that part of the swamp, right?Copy !req
1570. - So?Copy !req
1571. - No sign of any fish or snakes?Copy !req
1572. - No.Copy !req
1573. - Well, what are you getting at, Doc?Copy !req
1574. - Uh, would you pass the jelly?Copy !req
1575. - Well there goes your argument aboutCopy !req
1576. setting off a dynamite charge underwater.Copy !req
1577. It'd bring the bodies to the surface.Copy !req
1578. - Get it out of your mind, Doc.Copy !req
1579. I'm not using any explosives
as long as there's another way.Copy !req
1580. - Why must you be such a...Copy !req
1581. - Stud.Copy !req
1582. - Stubborn pig-head?Copy !req
1583. - Exactly.Copy !req
1584. - That, too.Copy !req
1585. - I'll tell you why.Copy !req
1586. Number one, there's bound
to be some aquarium lifeCopy !req
1587. in that section, even if the
bigger forms have abandoned it.Copy !req
1588. - Get it?Copy !req
1589. - An explosion underwater would
destroy every living thingCopy !req
1590. and wreck what nature
took years to build up.Copy !req
1591. - Years of inbreeding destroyed.Copy !req
1592. - Number two, I am paid to preventCopy !req
1593. the useless slaughter of wildlife.Copy !req
1594. - Uh, what was one again?Copy !req
1595. - Number three, I'd have
to get authorization,Copy !req
1596. and to get that authorization,Copy !req
1597. I'd have to come up with
a heck of a good reason.Copy !req
1598. - Number four, you're a jerk.Copy !req
1599. - Satisfied?Copy !req
1600. - No, I could use more coffee.Copy !req
1601. - Finish up, Dad, I wanna go home.Copy !req
1602. - I thought you were home.Copy !req
1603. - Steve, how long would it take youCopy !req
1604. to get this diving
equipment from Eastpoint?Copy !req
1605. - Is this a riddle?Copy !req
1606. - A couple days, why?Copy !req
1607. - Oh, nothing.Copy !req
1608. - Then why bring it up?Copy !req
1609. - I was deliberately
wasting your time.Copy !req
1610. - Take care of yourself, Steve.Copy !req
1611. - Or someone might
stab you in your sleep.Copy !req
1612. - Wait, I don't live here.Copy !req
1613. What the... oh.Copy !req
1614. - Well, here's hoping.Copy !req
1615. - Dad, can't you fill the
dynamite in from here?Copy !req
1616. - No, I wanna get it out in
the middle, the deepest spot.Copy !req
1617. - 'Cause Pepperidge Farm remembers.Copy !req
1618. - Now it's time for
Trout Blasting in AmericaCopy !req
1619. with your host, Dick Branigan.Copy !req
1620. - Well, goodbye
forever. I mean, Dad.Copy !req
1621. - Ohh, I'm drained.Copy !req
1622. - Our first sauna, big time.Copy !req
1623. - Looks like the
cave of Dr. Calamari.Copy !req
1624. - I know, I know,
you get used to it.Copy !req
1625. - Suck on that,
you darn son of a...Copy !req
1626. - I pray I was adopted.Copy !req
1627. - Well, honey, I
threw it under the boatCopy !req
1628. where it would do the most... ah!Copy !req
1629. - Parking at the
swamp sure is convenient.Copy !req
1630. - He's at it again, isn't he?Copy !req
1631. Sad, really.Copy !req
1632. - Well, let's go get him.Copy !req
1633. - Come on, dummy.Copy !req
1634. Back to the home with you.Copy !req
1635. - Now she's wearing
her beauty operator outfit.Copy !req
1636. - It should go any minute.Copy !req
1637. - Yeah, right.Copy !req
1638. - What a loon.Copy !req
1639. I'm not a loon.Copy !req
1640. - Next week on MacGyver.Copy !req
1641. - Everybody into the pool!Copy !req
1642. - Well gee, it worked
on the gophers in my yard.Copy !req
1643. - Huh?Copy !req
1644. - That was Bob there!Copy !req
1645. Get it, Bob?Copy !req
1646. Sorry.Copy !req
1647. - Well, let me tell you,Copy !req
1648. if I can take one dumb
thing back in my life...Copy !req
1649. - I know what you mean.Copy !req
1650. - Say, are those Bugle Boy jeans?Copy !req
1651. - (yawn) I've seen better.Copy !req
1652. - Bring it down there, Gypsy.Copy !req
1653. You know, Silas, it's not
easy being a social misfitCopy !req
1654. and then getting the added responsibilityCopy !req
1655. of dragging out in the
swamp for missing townsfolk,Copy !req
1656. and I can't even button my own shirt.Copy !req
1657. - I hear ya, Gunther.Copy !req
1658. Isn't it amazing how we inferior typesCopy !req
1659. keep getting asked to
do the dangerous workCopy !req
1660. that should go to men for stable than us?Copy !req
1661. Really is a miracle, hee hoo!Copy !req
1662. Hunter?Copy !req
1663. - Duh, yup, uh huh, wag nuts.Copy !req
1664. - What'd he say, Silas?Copy !req
1665. - I think what our bright young
friend's trying to say hereCopy !req
1666. is the reason we three goofuses are askedCopy !req
1667. to do these hazardous tasks
outside the perimetersCopy !req
1668. of normal society's rationale isCopy !req
1669. we're a danger to ourselves and others.Copy !req
1670. - Aw, kinda reminds me ofCopy !req
1671. Darwin's theory of natural selection.Copy !req
1672. - Yeah, if you're dumb, you die!Copy !req
1673. - That's a rich one there, Hunter.Copy !req
1674. - Boy, oh boy!Copy !req
1675. I'd like to shake hands with anyCopy !req
1676. giant leech that lived through that!Copy !req
1677. - What, the dynamite or that crappy song?Copy !req
1678. - Good stuff.Copy !req
1679. - Walker's wife, why didn't
her body come to the surface?Copy !req
1680. - I don't know.Copy !req
1681. - Maybe her shoes were too heavy.Copy !req
1682. - I think I better walk over
to the coroner's office.Copy !req
1683. - What's the matter, Mr. Benton?Copy !req
1684. Feel awkward about arresting
my father in his own home?Copy !req
1685. - No.Copy !req
1686. - I warned him I'd arrest
him if he used dynamite.Copy !req
1687. - That was nice of you.Copy !req
1688. - Geez, I don't get women.Copy !req
1689. - Well, the autopsy should be over by now.Copy !req
1690. - Oh, hi, you got the
right to remain silent, and...Copy !req
1691. - I thought you'd be here.Copy !req
1692. - I was wishing you weren't.Copy !req
1693. - I don't like to have to do this, Doctor.Copy !req
1694. - Do we have time for
a cup of coffee first?Copy !req
1695. - Sure.Copy !req
1696. - Fine, honey?Copy !req
1697. - No, I'll make some sandwiches.Copy !req
1698. - I'll make some coffee sandwiches.Copy !req
1699. - She's going to his
place to make sandwiches.Copy !req
1700. - Ahh, you know liquor
makes everything right.Copy !req
1701. - From the liquor council.Copy !req
1702. - It's what your
body's thirsty for.Copy !req
1703. - All the good it'll do now.Copy !req
1704. - Let me show you my appendix scar.Copy !req
1705. - Dave Walker didn't shoot Cal.Copy !req
1706. - I'll get more coffee.Copy !req
1707. - Kovis tried to keep my out,Copy !req
1708. but I told him I'd raise a stinkCopy !req
1709. they'd smell all the way to the capitol.Copy !req
1710. - Don't doubt that, heh.Copy !req
1711. - What killed them, Doc?Copy !req
1712. - Not drowning.Copy !req
1713. Cal wasn't shot, either.Copy !req
1714. - And he wasn't beat up by clowns.Copy !req
1715. - Every drop of blood was
drained out of their bodies.Copy !req
1716. - Turns out I did it.Copy !req
1717. Funny, huh?Copy !req
1718. - And they had wounds on
their throats, suction wounds.Copy !req
1719. Like a gigantic leech bite.Copy !req
1720. - Or a Hoover.Copy !req
1721. - And there's something
even more incredible.Copy !req
1722. - I'm Skippy the chimp.Copy !req
1723. - Cal was supposed to have
been killed several days ago.Copy !req
1724. Sam and Reed had been
missing a matter of 48 hours.Copy !req
1725. All three of them, as far as we know,Copy !req
1726. were in that lake a minimum of two days.Copy !req
1727. Now I'd stake my reputation as a doctor...Copy !req
1728. - Or what's left of it.Copy !req
1729. - Cal hadn't been dead more thanCopy !req
1730. two or three hours before we found him.Copy !req
1731. The other two, less than that.Copy !req
1732. First stage rigor mortis
started in during the autopsy.Copy !req
1733. - But how could that be, Doc?Copy !req
1734. It's impossible.Copy !req
1735. - The coroner will confirm it.Copy !req
1736. - Cigarette?Copy !req
1737. - Whatever killed them
is still in that lake,Copy !req
1738. and it's gonna take more
than dynamite to get it out.Copy !req
1739. - I think we
should use my new A-bomb!Copy !req
1740. - The concussion from those chargesCopy !req
1741. would've killed a full-grown whale.Copy !req
1742. - That's it, we'll put
a full-grown whale down there.Copy !req
1743. - That explains how Cal
and and the others livedCopy !req
1744. after they were supposed to be drowned.Copy !req
1745. - What do you mean?Copy !req
1746. - This whole region is
riddled by caves and cavernsCopy !req
1747. cut out by the ocean
thousands of years ago.Copy !req
1748. - I love riddles.Copy !req
1749. - If there are caves above the water,Copy !req
1750. then there must be caves under the water.Copy !req
1751. - Go on.Copy !req
1752. - No, make me.Copy !req
1753. - Mike and I had a chance to fool aroundCopy !req
1754. with some frogman equipment
captured from the Italian Navy.Copy !req
1755. - And then we went
on to showgirl costumes.Copy !req
1756. - Prowled through a sunken
transport off Salerno.Copy !req
1757. - Butter cookie?Copy !req
1758. - When the ship went down,Copy !req
1759. it trapped some air inside the hull.Copy !req
1760. We'd go down, come up
inside the officer's lounge,Copy !req
1761. take off our face masks, and sorta sampleCopy !req
1762. some of the bottles floating around.Copy !req
1763. - That's nice, is there
a point to your little story?Copy !req
1764. - It drove the guys crazy
trying to figure outCopy !req
1765. how we were getting the stuff.Copy !req
1766. - You mean you think that
there's an air pocketCopy !req
1767. or a cave underneath the lake?Copy !req
1768. - Right, gotta be.Copy !req
1769. How else could those people
have lived down there?Copy !req
1770. Not only that, it explains howCopy !req
1771. whatever it is down there
lived through the concussions.Copy !req
1772. - Steve!Copy !req
1773. - Steve!Copy !req
1774. Spock!Copy !req
1775. - Liz Walker.Copy !req
1776. - I stood up too fast. Whoo!Copy !req
1777. - She might still be down there, alive.Copy !req
1778. - But musty.Copy !req
1779. - What?Copy !req
1780. - Calgon, take me away.Copy !req
1781. - I think it did.Copy !req
1782. This must be the swimsuit
edition of Leech Illustrated.Copy !req
1783. - A lick of paint,
some nice curtains,Copy !req
1784. this place would be okay.Copy !req
1785. - Meanwhile, on Hollywood Boulevard.Copy !req
1786. - We now return to Hawaii Five-0.Copy !req
1787. - Looks like the
cameraman can't find the cast.Copy !req
1788. - Skipper.Copy !req
1789. Now you bring the swamp to a rolling boil.Copy !req
1790. - Hey, it looks
like the dad from Flipper.Copy !req
1791. - Hey, looks like the whole townCopy !req
1792. came out to watch them suit up.Copy !req
1793. - Well, they
don't have a movie house.Copy !req
1794. - Yup.Copy !req
1795. - Comfortable?Copy !req
1796. - Yeah.Copy !req
1797. - Make a nice living.Copy !req
1798. - You sure you don't want
me to go down for you, Mike?Copy !req
1799. You haven't had one of these
things on for a long time,Copy !req
1800. while me, every other day
I've been playing fish.Copy !req
1801. - Remember the first
time we had one of these on?Copy !req
1802. - If you ask me, they ought
to have their heads examined.Copy !req
1803. Giant leeches.Copy !req
1804. - (groans)Copy !req
1805. - I'm willing to bet a month's payCopy !req
1806. they don't come up with
nothing more than excuses.Copy !req
1807. - Well I could use 10 bucks.Copy !req
1808. - Him, the doc, and his brat, too.Copy !req
1809. Just wait 'til I get on
the phone with the capitol.Copy !req
1810. I'll guarantee somebody will wishCopy !req
1811. they'd kept their nose out
of other people's business.Copy !req
1812. - And out of my underwear drawer.Copy !req
1813. - (groans)Copy !req
1814. - Steve!Copy !req
1815. - I'm going with you.Copy !req
1816. - Be careful, please.Copy !req
1817. - Don't worry, Mike will be
ready if anything goes wrong.Copy !req
1818. - Don't worry about Steve.Copy !req
1819. Now if he were going after barracuda,Copy !req
1820. you might have a tiny bit to worry about.Copy !req
1821. - (mimic the music
of "Barracuda" by Heart)Copy !req
1822. - Sure you don't want some coffee?Copy !req
1823. - Goodbye,
Calgon. Goodbye, Skipper.Copy !req
1824. Sure hope those coconut
air tanks hold out.Copy !req
1825. - They're dead. Goodbye!Copy !req
1826. They don't have a chance.Copy !req
1827. I'll see you later, good luck!Copy !req
1828. We'll drag them out tomorrow.Copy !req
1829. Good luck out there!Copy !req
1830. - It's the star of Ralph Bellamy,Copy !req
1831. Ralph Bellamy, Ralph Bellamy.Copy !req
1832. - I see London, I see France,Copy !req
1833. I see little Steve-O's underpants.Copy !req
1834. - Good news,
we're having fish today.Copy !req
1835. Heh heh, fish... sorry.Copy !req
1836. - No, no, please stay away.Copy !req
1837. - No, you suck the life out of me.Copy !req
1838. I have nothing more to give.Copy !req
1839. - Please.Copy !req
1840. - Not exactly inviting, is it?Copy !req
1841. - Nah, it sure isn't.Copy !req
1842. - Hey, let's just stay in the boatCopy !req
1843. and just eat sandwiches, okay?Copy !req
1844. - And look, I'll spit
in my own mask this time.Copy !req
1845. - Right to the bottom.Copy !req
1846. Well, let's try the other one.Copy !req
1847. - Geez, that's not deep.Copy !req
1848. It was filmed in Corman's swimming pool.Copy !req
1849. - Darn fool kids.Copy !req
1850. - Watch that end.Copy !req
1851. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
1852. - It'll stop anything up to a tiger shark.Copy !req
1853. But you gotta hit, misses don't count.Copy !req
1854. - Anything goes wrong,
just yank on the lineCopy !req
1855. and I'll be down in a hurry.Copy !req
1856. - And yank real hard,
I might have the radio on.Copy !req
1857. - (groan)Copy !req
1858. - Huh, what's this?Copy !req
1859. It's a little mailbox
that reads, "I am Leech."Copy !req
1860. This must be his place, huh?Copy !req
1861. - What a jerk.Copy !req
1862. - Yank, yank, yank!Copy !req
1863. Hello, is this thing on?Copy !req
1864. Big thing!Copy !req
1865. - Uppies! I want uppies! (cries)Copy !req
1866. Oh, got a big one.Copy !req
1867. - (gasps) Could
you hand me another spear?Copy !req
1868. - Sure you don't want me to go downCopy !req
1869. and finish it off for you, Steve?Copy !req
1870. - No, thanks, Mike.Copy !req
1871. I think I hurt it pretty bad.Copy !req
1872. - Careful now.Copy !req
1873. Anything that hurts is
ten times as dangerous.Copy !req
1874. - Yeah, I'll figure
that out underwater, friend.Copy !req
1875. - He's wounded it!Copy !req
1876. He's gonna finish it off!Copy !req
1877. - I'd start the grill if I were you!Copy !req
1878. - Does he have to go under again?Copy !req
1879. - He's got to make sure, honey.Copy !req
1880. - This is what therapy's all about.Copy !req
1881. - Where could it have come from?Copy !req
1882. - I wish I knew.Copy !req
1883. We'll have to make some tests.Copy !req
1884. - Like SAT?Copy !req
1885. - Maybe the proximity of Cape Canaveral'sCopy !req
1886. got something to do with it.Copy !req
1887. - The rocket station?Copy !req
1888. - Well, they use atomic energyCopy !req
1889. in their first stages of launching.Copy !req
1890. Not all of them have been successful.Copy !req
1891. - You think innocent
animal life was close by.Copy !req
1892. Not close enough to be killed,Copy !req
1893. but close enough to feel the effectsCopy !req
1894. of a radioactive energy that—Copy !req
1895. - A mutation.Copy !req
1896. A type of gigantism of some common animal.Copy !req
1897. - (snoring)Copy !req
1898. - Speaking of common animals,Copy !req
1899. how in the world is Steve getting on?Copy !req
1900. - I hope he's able to bring it up.Copy !req
1901. - Heh, then I can bring my lunch up.Copy !req
1902. - Let's go see what
Steve the jerk is up to.Copy !req
1903. - Hey, I can't see.Copy !req
1904. - I feel like I'm in Hef's grotto.Copy !req
1905. - Whoop, there she goes.Copy !req
1906. Buh-bye now, heh, buh-bye.Copy !req
1907. - Oh, I've sen this in Dementia 13.Copy !req
1908. - I see London, I see France—Copy !req
1909. - Hey, come on, she's dead.Copy !req
1910. - Huh?Copy !req
1911. - Hey, good job!Copy !req
1912. They found her.Copy !req
1913. - I'll just put her on the stringer.Copy !req
1914. - That can't be Liz.Copy !req
1915. - I don't remember Liz being deadCopy !req
1916. with giant hickeys on her cheeks.Copy !req
1917. - What could've done that?Copy !req
1918. - Steven Tyler?Copy !req
1919. - Look at her face.Copy !req
1920. - Maybe.Copy !req
1921. - The abyss.Copy !req
1922. - Owie, I just got
such a big blood blisterCopy !req
1923. and it's so nice and juicy
and I feel so naughty.Copy !req
1924. Oh, I sure hope a big
leech doesn't come around.Copy !req
1925. It would be just terrible.Copy !req
1926. - Sucker!Copy !req
1927. Wait a minute, that's me. (laughs)Copy !req
1928. - Now it looks like a sea turtle.Copy !req
1929. - Uh, think Liz will be
okay in that boat all alone?Copy !req
1930. - Steve was in
trouble, I had to act fast.Copy !req
1931. I had to get my sons in the series.Copy !req
1932. - Hey Ma, I'd like to
borrow your butcher knife, okay?Copy !req
1933. - Wait a minute,
are there two of them now?Copy !req
1934. I don't get what's going on.Copy !req
1935. - Oh, it's a mess.Copy !req
1936. - It's confusing.Copy !req
1937. Doesn't matter, huh?Copy !req
1938. Don't touch him, that's my pal!Copy !req
1939. - He's trying
to stab the camera man.Copy !req
1940. Did you see that?Copy !req
1941. - Not me, you idiot.Copy !req
1942. The leech, the leech!Copy !req
1943. - So there's two of you, huh?Copy !req
1944. Come on, come on, I've
sucked blood from guysCopy !req
1945. bigger than the both of you.Copy !req
1946. - Then it was back to the lodgeCopy !req
1947. for a smooth Canadian Club.Copy !req
1948. - Oh, it's a manatee.Copy !req
1949. - (groans)Copy !req
1950. - I've been around here for years.Copy !req
1951. I never saw nothing like that.Copy !req
1952. - I'm a professional skeptic.Copy !req
1953. - Tommy Bartlett invites
you to ride the wild leech.Copy !req
1954. - Come on, let's all ride him!Copy !req
1955. - David Jensen?Copy !req
1956. - Might wanna
measure her and weight her.Copy !req
1957. I think she's a keeper.Copy !req
1958. She's a record, alright.Copy !req
1959. - Whoop, there goes Liz.Copy !req
1960. - Hey, I'll have
to go diving more often.Copy !req
1961. I'll carry her.Copy !req
1962. - No, I'll carry her.Copy !req
1963. - I'll carry here.Copy !req
1964. - I'll get her.Copy !req
1965. - And what of Emily
and her love for Chad?Copy !req
1966. And what of the hair on Chuck's chest?Copy !req
1967. Stay tuned.Copy !req
1968. - Epilogue.Copy !req
1969. - Who's this guy,
a roadie from Sea Hunt?Copy !req
1970. - Wish I would've thought of that.Copy !req
1971. - Anytime now!Copy !req
1972. - They must be licking their wounds.Copy !req
1973. - Sure you used enough
stuff to do the job, Mike?Copy !req
1974. - I used 100 sticks of 40%.Copy !req
1975. - Enough to kill all of us.Copy !req
1976. - Alright, let her go.Copy !req
1977. - Oh, no, I've done
enough of your dirty work.Copy !req
1978. Help yourself.Copy !req
1979. - No, I'm not
falling for that old one.Copy !req
1980. - Let's see, how do
you work this old thing?Copy !req
1981. Let's see if my memory
serves me correctly.Copy !req
1982. - Blew my blanket clean off!Copy !req
1983. - One.Copy !req
1984. - Well I'll be
hogtied in the backroomCopy !req
1985. with a big old...Copy !req
1986. - Fish fry tonight.Copy !req
1987. - Two.Copy !req
1988. - I'd hoped that'd be more exciting.Copy !req
1989. Well let's go back to town...Copy !req
1990. Oh wait, there is no town.Copy !req
1991. - Now who's
hungry for blood sausage?Copy !req
1992. Just kidding! (laughs)Copy !req
1993. - Well I'm gonna miss him.Copy !req
1994. Now we gotta go hang out
at the grocery store again.Copy !req
1995. - (yawns)Copy !req
1996. - I feel empty.Copy !req
1997. Kind of a letdown, really.Copy !req
1998. - But for the lowly detonator...Copy !req
1999. - Oh, lost your head.Copy !req
2000. - My head! Grab it!Copy !req
2001. - Gotta figure out
how this is gonna end here.Copy !req
2002. - There we go.Copy !req
2003. - Joel, I can't help but feelCopy !req
2004. that that film was flawed in certain ways.Copy !req
2005. - What do you mean by that?Copy !req
2006. - I don't know.Copy !req
2007. I guess I just felt that Corman failedCopy !req
2008. to deliver on concepts and ideas promisedCopy !req
2009. as in films like Viking
Women and the Sea Serpent.Copy !req
2010. - You know, I had problems
with it, too, Joel.Copy !req
2011. I can't figure out if
those leech creaturesCopy !req
2012. were smart or just big dumb monsters.Copy !req
2013. - Well, they were smart
enough to take hostages.Copy !req
2014. - Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
2015. When that drunk poacher
fingered one of the leeches,Copy !req
2016. they sent a contract man out to kill him.Copy !req
2017. - Yeah, so maybe they kept
everybody busy at the swampCopy !req
2018. while they went into town and
stole everybody's antiques.Copy !req
2019. - I don't know if they were that smart.Copy !req
2020. I mean, let's remember
they did get caught.Copy !req
2021. I think they just went
on killing and killingCopy !req
2022. until it was all about killingCopy !req
2023. and it wasn't about fun anymore.Copy !req
2024. - Knowing what I know,Copy !req
2025. I guess that they're
smarter than a sea turtleCopy !req
2026. but dumber than Danish
physicist Niels Bohr.Copy !req
2027. - Yeah, like I can see them goingCopy !req
2028. to four of the Police Academy moviesCopy !req
2029. before they stopped shelling out the doughCopy !req
2030. and waiting for them to
come out on Showtime.Copy !req
2031. - They're the kind of
leeches that would probablyCopy !req
2032. think of Chili's as their
favorite restaurant,Copy !req
2033. and it would never really dawn on themCopy !req
2034. that it was a chain.Copy !req
2035. - Or they'd be the type
to watch paid programmingCopy !req
2036. and never figure out that it was an ad.Copy !req
2037. - Well this is a lot of fun, you guys,Copy !req
2038. but I think it's time to read a letter.Copy !req
2039. Let's put this up on still store, Cambot.Copy !req
2040. This one comes from a...Copy !req
2041. Jean A. Dawn, and she writes,Copy !req
2042. "Dear Joel, I am positively
crazy about your show.Copy !req
2043. "When I can find it on TV,
I tape it and play it overCopy !req
2044. "so I don't miss any of
your sarcastic remarks.Copy !req
2045. "I keep recommending your
show to everyone I can.Copy !req
2046. "Everyone who is lucky
to catch it loves it.Copy !req
2047. "PS: I'm 59 years old, and I've neverCopy !req
2048. "written a fan letter in my life."Copy !req
2049. Well thank you, Jean A. Dawn.Copy !req
2050. - Oh, bless you Jean.Copy !req
2051. - Jean A. Dawn.Copy !req
2052. - Nice life goal.Copy !req
2053. - Jeaninging.Copy !req
2054. What do you think, sirs?Copy !req
2055. - Oh, sorry, Frank.Copy !req
2056. I left the leech on too long.Copy !req
2057. (pop)Copy !req
2058. Well, Frank...Copy !req
2059. Frank?Copy !req
2060. Well, now that you've sucked
all the blood out of Frank,Copy !req
2061. what are you gonna do now?Copy !req
2062. - Oh, write, produce,
be as creative as I can.Copy !req
2063. - Have you thought about
the mad scientist game?Copy !req
2064. - Ha, don't get me started.Copy !req
2065. You know, I got some ideas.Copy !req
2066. Maybe we can do lunch?Copy !req
2067. - Sure!Copy !req
2068. - You think you could pick it up?Copy !req
2069. I'm, uh, flat busted.Copy !req
2070. - You know, I'd really
love to produce you.Copy !req
2071. I had this concept of
maybe we could go into...Copy !req