1. Cambot!
- Pan left!Copy !req
2. - Gypsy!
- Hi, girl!Copy !req
3. - Tom Servo!
- What a cool guy!Copy !req
4. - Cro-o-o-ow!
- What a wisecracker.Copy !req
5. - Hi, everybody.Copy !req
6. Welcome to the Satellite
of Love.Copy !req
7. My name is Joel Robinson.Copy !req
8. These are my robots,
Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo.Copy !req
9. What you guys doing?Copy !req
10. - Well, we were just trying
to rememberCopy !req
11. what it was
that Bunny Rabbit usedCopy !req
12. to always try to get
Captain Kangaroo to say.Copy !req
13. - Oh, ping-pong ball.
That's what he always —Copy !req
14. - Whoo, yeah! Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
15. Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
16. - Yeah! Whoo!
- Good one!Copy !req
17. - Whoo!
- All right!Copy !req
18. - Wow, those have been up
there for months.Copy !req
19. - Whoo-hoo-hoo.Copy !req
20. - Commercial sign-in in five,
four, three, two.Copy !req
21. Commercial sign-in.
- Ah.Copy !req
22. - Help me.
- I got Crow T. Robot eyes.Copy !req
23. Oh, say, hi, Crow.Copy !req
24. What you doing?
- Can't find my eyes.Copy !req
25. - Well, have you
looked over there?Copy !req
26. - Oh, thanks, I didn't think...Copy !req
27. Would you —
I don't have any eyes!Copy !req
28. Jeez!Copy !req
29. - Jeepers creepers, Tom,
you've got Crow's peepers.Copy !req
30. Now give them back.
- Tom, give me those.Copy !req
31. Can't you see
what I'm going through?Copy !req
32. - Why, yes, I can see,
as a matter of fact.Copy !req
33. I can see better than ever!Copy !req
34. - Oh! Grr!
- Quiet, you guys.Copy !req
35. Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee
are calling.Copy !req
36. - Quit clowning around up thereCopy !req
37. and get on with the invention
exchange, Crocodile Kangaroo.Copy !req
38. - Well, sirs, our invention
exchange this weekCopy !req
39. is based on the premise
that moreCopy !req
40. and more people
are becoming vegetarians.Copy !req
41. This means warehouses full of
gamey forced beef products.Copy !req
42. What are you going to do
with all that steak?Copy !req
43. Make a fun friend.Copy !req
44. - Like this little guy,
Mr. Meat-And-Potato Head.Copy !req
45. - Yeah, that's right.
- That's rare, isn't it?Copy !req
46. - We've taken
the Mr. Potato HeadCopy !req
47. concept and fleshed
it out literally.Copy !req
48. For example, here's beefCopy !req
49. spokesman James Garner
as Mr. Brisket Head,Copy !req
50. and he comes with his
own little Rockford Camaro.Copy !req
51. - And of course, there's
the suave and continentalCopy !req
52. Sir Beef Wellington Head.Copy !req
53. - Oh, is the great
Sir Beef Wellington HeadCopy !req
54. going to grace us
with his presence?Copy !req
55. - Yeah, and for all those
smart shoppersCopy !req
56. that have already
been vegetarians,Copy !req
57. there's Mr. Stuffing
Instead of Potato Head.Copy !req
58. What do you think, sirs?Copy !req
59. - Stuffing instead of potatoes?Copy !req
60. Honey, I love you.
- Meat is murder, Frank.Copy !req
61. Speaking of conserving waste,Copy !req
62. just because your British
pop sensation's careerCopy !req
63. has gone stale
doesn't mean that he has to.Copy !req
64. That's why we've invented
the Tupperware containerCopy !req
65. to lock in pop star freshness.Copy !req
66. Who's our stale singing
sensation, Frank?Copy !req
67. - Well, it's none other than
British pop star Morrissey.Copy !req
68. He's a little depressed.Copy !req
69. So Morrissey, uh, how you doing?Copy !req
70. - He hurt me with that remark.Copy !req
71. Did I mention that I cried?Copy !req
72. - Well, I mean, come on,
Morrissey,Copy !req
73. I mean, we're basically evil,
granted, but a lotCopy !req
74. of what we say around here
is just good-natured ribbing.Copy !req
75. - Well, it hurt me.Copy !req
76. Did I mention that I cried?Copy !req
77. Is it wrong
not to always be glad?Copy !req
78. - Well, we seem to have got you
at a bad time.Copy !req
79. Like Morrissey, Joel,
your experiment this weekCopy !req
80. comes from that shameful decade
known as the '80s.Copy !req
81. It's a film called
"City Limits,"Copy !req
82. and it stars James Earl Jones
at the low point in his careerCopy !req
83. and Kim Cattrall
at a high point.Copy !req
84. It also has Robby Benson
and Rae Dawn ChongCopy !req
85. doing things
they're not happy with either,Copy !req
86. and now, to prove that
our Tupperware coffinCopy !req
87. really locks
in pop star freshness,Copy !req
88. Morrissey is going to honor us
with a song.Copy !req
89. Aren't you, Morrissey?Copy !req
90. - This is a song
I wrote at a time in my lifeCopy !req
91. when I was very, very, very sad, breakfast actually.Copy !req
92. It's called
"Hairdresser in a Coma."Copy !req
93. - "City Limits" sounds like
a clothing storeCopy !req
94. for high school girls.Copy !req
95. - 15 years from now,Copy !req
96. Dick Clark
will still look the same.Copy !req
97. - Wow, this film moves fast.Copy !req
98. A minute ago we were
in the credits.Copy !req
99. Now we're 15 years
in the future.Copy !req
100. - Wow.Copy !req
101. - You know, 15 years from now
is really depressing.Copy !req
102. - Well, they still have
SuperAmericas.Copy !req
103. - Yeah.Copy !req
104. - Okay, we're at grandma's,
wake up, come on.Copy !req
105. - That's a lot of fabric to wear
on a cycle.Copy !req
106. - Someone has been digging
in the remnant pile big time.Copy !req
107. - Oh, "Austin City Limits."Copy !req
108. - I said, "It's prepay after 10."Copy !req
109. - Leeland!Copy !req
110. - This is CNN,Copy !req
111. "Get Off My Land."Copy !req
112. - Okay.Copy !req
113. It's okay.Copy !req
114. - Okay.Copy !req
115. - Oh, it's
the Doc Severinsen gang.Copy !req
116. - Hey, I found Ed Begley Jr.
Can I keep him?Copy !req
117. - Where are we?Copy !req
118. - We're home.Copy !req
119. - Oh, Mr. Potato Head.Copy !req
120. - I know, it's CNN, right?
Uh-huh.Copy !req
121. - Damn, boy, I told you
to find adventure.Copy !req
122. I didn't say drag it home.
- Ugh.Copy !req
123. - These are the Clippers.Copy !req
124. - Neat.Copy !req
125. - No, don't hit me, Mr. Jones!Copy !req
126. - If I knew what
he was getting into,Copy !req
127. I never would have let him go.
- He's throwing his voice.Copy !req
128. He's a ventriloquist!Copy !req
129. - I knew you were not the kind
to run without a fight...Copy !req
130. - Or fight —
- ... and by the looks of it,Copy !req
131. he and his friends
had taken a beating.Copy !req
132. - Jill Kinmont in "The Other
Side of the Movie."Copy !req
133. - I raised Leeland since
the plague took his parents.Copy !req
134. - Hey, turn the bass down.
Oh, that's his voice.Copy !req
135. - Most of the adults were killed
by the plagueCopy !req
136. and left a world of orphans
to die off from lack of care.Copy !req
137. - They were known
as "the bitter ones."Copy !req
138. - You know, just when you get
good at skiing, it's spring.Copy !req
139. Isn't that the way?Copy !req
140. Yeah.
- He had me to help him along.Copy !req
141. Together we came
through it okay.Copy !req
142. - Hey, it's becoming
a "Windham Hill" album cover.Copy !req
143. - We lived by ourselves away
from the troubles for years,Copy !req
144. but finally it was time for him
to make his own life...Copy !req
145. - What, here?Copy !req
146. - ... so I cut him loose
to find adventure.Copy !req
147. - Hi there!Copy !req
148. - That's not Rae Dawn Chong.Copy !req
149. - I don't think so.Copy !req
150. - Stop or the horse gets it,
I mean it!Copy !req
151. - Hi, I'm Max.Copy !req
152. - Kim Cattrall.Copy !req
153. - Oh.Copy !req
154. I can't get there,
they keep freeze framing me.Copy !req
155. - I know what you say,
a nice skull.Copy !req
156. - Don't be afraid.
I'm just big boned.Copy !req
157. - Ugh.Copy !req
158. - I like the skull better.Copy !req
159. - Could say he's out
of his skull now.Copy !req
160. - Ohh.
- Thank you.Copy !req
161. - I'm going to get me
a piece of bottom land.Copy !req
162. - Ah!
Va-voom.Copy !req
163. - Someday this will
all our be our—Copy !req
164. Oh, it is ours.
- Ohh.Copy !req
165. - "Petticoat Junction."Copy !req
166. - Yeah, this movie is moving
slower than Uncle Joe.Copy !req
167. - Would you guys mind
if I open my umbrella here?Copy !req
168. I just thought —
- Well, actually, we kind of do.Copy !req
169. - Hey.Copy !req
170. - You never know when
something...Copy !req
171. You know, you're always curious.Copy !req
172. - Hey!
- Oh, for crying out loud.Copy !req
173. - Is this impolite
to keep it —Copy !req
174. to keep the umbrella open
while we're...Copy !req
175. Hmm.
That's kind of weird.Copy !req
176. - Hey, we've got to drink
out of that water.Copy !req
177. - It's like Hot Tubs 2.
- Where are you going?Copy !req
178. - I'm going to the city.Copy !req
179. - Going to get you some clothes.
- What for?Copy !req
180. - I'm going to be a Clipper.Copy !req
181. - There's no such thing,
the Clippers.Copy !req
182. - He got dressed awful fast.
- Yeah, there is.Copy !req
183. - Well, I'm nude, so never mind.Copy !req
184. - Hey, wear your other skull.Copy !req
185. We need to rinse that one out.Copy !req
186. He's going to leave all of this?Copy !req
187. - Hey, my clothes!Copy !req
188. - I guess you could call
this cheesy rider.Copy !req
189. - Yeah. Hmm.Copy !req
190. They must have
a mandatory skull law.Copy !req
191. - Yeah, I think so.Copy !req
192. - Robby Benson.
- Oh.Copy !req
193. - Hey, we found the title.Copy !req
194. - He was heading for the city.
He had the idea in his head...Copy !req
195. - In his skull.Copy !req
196. - ... that there was
new life there,Copy !req
197. that kids had banded together
and survived by scavengingCopy !req
198. and foraging
in the deserted streets.Copy !req
199. - After the robot holocaust.Copy !req
200. - These kids
were called the Clippers,Copy !req
201. and Leeland was out
to find them.Copy !req
202. - And they're a real sharp
gang, real boosters.Copy !req
203. - Ooh.Copy !req
204. They used to be called
the Cost Cutters.Copy !req
205. - Aah!
- Aah!Copy !req
206. - Whoa! Shazam.Copy !req
207. - Looks like the sets were
designed by Edward Hopper.Copy !req
208. - Or Frank Gehry.Copy !req
209. - Look, apparently,
they're trying to pass this offCopy !req
210. as being written.Copy !req
211. - There's got to be a cash
machine around here somewhere.Copy !req
212. - Filmed on location
in Mazomanie, Wisconsin,Copy !req
213. over by the new high school.Copy !req
214. - Sounds like "Love Me Do."Copy !req
215. - He's giving himself a ticket.Copy !req
216. - I can't get this
through my thick skull.Copy !req
217. - Whoa.Copy !req
218. - Hey, you're really stupid
if you get hitCopy !req
219. by a car after the apocalypse.Copy !req
220. - Oh, I get it,
soundtrack by Gerry Rafferty.Copy !req
221. - Oh, darn.Copy !req
222. It's copyrighted.
- Oh, shoot.Copy !req
223. - Look, it's Louis XIV's
warehouse, the Sun King unit.Copy !req
224. - Oh.Copy !req
225. - But Leland had no ideaCopy !req
226. that there was a new sickness
in the city...Copy !req
227. - It's called apathy, man.Copy !req
228. - ... outsiders sent in
to take control.Copy !req
229. - Kim Cattrall.
- Hey, take it easy.Copy !req
230. - Hey, I'm not really
a skull, lady.Copy !req
231. - I'm not really an actress.Copy !req
232. - May we help you?
- Yeah, I would like her.Copy !req
233. - Move away from your vehicle.Copy !req
234. - Uh-oh.Copy !req
235. - It's the Orkin army.Copy !req
236. - Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop,
whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!Copy !req
237. And there will be lots more
exciting scenes like this.Copy !req
238. Anybody got a clue
what this is about?Copy !req
239. - Mnh-mnh.Copy !req
240. The cheese phone.Copy !req
241. - I wonder what
the red one means.Copy !req
242. - 1-900-Talk-to-Robby.Copy !req
243. This is Robby Benson.Copy !req
244. What are you wearing?
- Uh, yeah, your girlfriend,Copy !req
245. just threw
something off a bridge.Copy !req
246. - I'm sure it's nothing.
- Make sure it's taken care of.Copy !req
247. - Okay, yes, sir.Copy !req
248. - Ooh.Copy !req
249. - Boy, I like my after-school
paper route.Copy !req
250. Sell "Grit"
and get this cool helmet.Copy !req
251. It's great.Copy !req
252. - The three bikers
of the apocalypse!Copy !req
253. - Are you guys the Clippers?Copy !req
254. - No, we're color consultants.Copy !req
255. - Oh, there must be
a chain gang.Copy !req
256. - Aah!Copy !req
257. - Was that a yes?Copy !req
258. - Hey, Red Skeleton.Copy !req
259. - Yeah.Copy !req
260. - Ooh, action.Copy !req
261. - Courageous cat
and motor mouse.Copy !req
262. - They're trying to kill me.Copy !req
263. I guess I'll park.Copy !req
264. - You thought that was scary?Copy !req
265. What about this? Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
266. - Hey, bald head, come here!Copy !req
267. - Go there.Copy !req
268. - How are you?Copy !req
269. - Oh, I make a nice living.
You?Copy !req
270. - Hi, I'm —
- Out of line.Copy !req
271. - Hey, Ernie.Copy !req
272. - Yeah, Bert?
- Send him back.Copy !req
273. - Fish it, Bert.
- It is Bert and Ernie.Copy !req
274. - He's ours now.
- I've got to go, got to go.Copy !req
275. Got to go.Copy !req
276. - Jeez, he's being terrorized
by the cast of "Fame."Copy !req
277. - Something wrong?Copy !req
278. - Is this your engine?Copy !req
279. - The queen!Copy !req
280. - Roach coach.Copy !req
281. - Bring out your dead.Copy !req
282. - Uh-oh, it's the Leno gang.Copy !req
283. - Oh, damn, we overshot him.Copy !req
284. It's so fricking dark,
I couldn't see him.Copy !req
285. - Clippers.
- Leathers by Bob Mackie.Copy !req
286. - How you doing?Copy !req
287. - He's the one?
This is Superman?Copy !req
288. - Shaken, not stirred.
- It's little Bobby Hepburn.Copy !req
289. - He is.
- Whitey, Whitey, Whitey.Copy !req
290. - You'll want to wash that hand.
- He's wearing a sheep.Copy !req
291. How come you wear a sheep?Copy !req
292. - Sheep didn't need it no more.Copy !req
293. - Sheep didn't need it no more.
- Mapplethorpe?Copy !req
294. - Ooh.
- What do you want?Copy !req
295. - I don't want nothing.
- Hey, that's my...Copy !req
296. - I've got something
for you guys.Copy !req
297. - What?
- What's that?Copy !req
298. - Me.Copy !req
299. - We already have one of you.
- Where are you from?Copy !req
300. - I'm from the desert.
- On a horse with no name?Copy !req
301. - Go back.Copy !req
302. - What?
- Hmm?Copy !req
303. - What?
- Whoa, whoa, okay.Copy !req
304. - Hey, I come a lot of miles.
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
305. - For a lot of camels.
- Riding downCopy !req
306. a couple prey pigs
don't make you Clipper.Copy !req
307. - Hey, those were my parents.
- We ain't looking for nobody.Copy !req
308. - Yeah, the position is filled.
You would be bored.Copy !req
309. It's mostly dead entry.Copy !req
310. - Even if we was,
these kids was born here.Copy !req
311. - Oh, that's Michelle Shocked.
- What did you expect, balloons?Copy !req
312. - You need a concept wardrobe
like me.Copy !req
313. - Come on, Frankie,
off the bike.Copy !req
314. - Well, so what was
that whole hitting meCopy !req
315. with chains thing all about?Copy !req
316. - That's a super charger
on there.Copy !req
317. - Super super charger.Copy !req
318. - Cool.Copy !req
319. - Go on home, cowboy.Copy !req
320. - Oh, so you think, like,Copy !req
321. your dad could sign
my "Big Bambu" album?Copy !req
322. - Wow, look at what
he's missing out on.Copy !req
323. - All this.Copy !req
324. - It's the guys from "Kansas."Copy !req
325. - There's a big pile of Bob
right there.Copy !req
326. - Yup, he's looked better.Copy !req
327. - Okay, 5 minutes, everyone.Copy !req
328. - Oh, it's heavy.
Oh, oh, oh, it's heavy, oh.Copy !req
329. - Who?
- The cowboy.Copy !req
330. - Whitey, do ever see a rod
twisted like that?Copy !req
331. - Guy is a big "Who" fan.Copy !req
332. - Looks like
a "Bay City Roller" guy.Copy !req
333. - Hey, England wants
its flag back.Copy !req
334. - What mook?Copy !req
335. - Hey.Copy !req
336. Hey, you got a name?
- Yeah, I've got a name.Copy !req
337. - Harley Davidson
and The Marlboro Man.Copy !req
338. - I want it.
I want it.Copy !req
339. I want it. I want it. I want —
- I want it.Copy !req
340. - Don't try anything.Copy !req
341. - Uh-oh, mandatory bussing.
- Ohh.Copy !req
342. - Looks like you're
over the line, Bert.Copy !req
343. - Are we?
- One toke.Copy !req
344. - That mook killed Bob.
- What?Copy !req
345. - Shut up.
- Is he Clipper?Copy !req
346. - What about Bob?Copy !req
347. - Ohh.
- Aah.Copy !req
348. - Ow!Copy !req
349. - Oh, now he's
a Vienna Boys' Clipper.Copy !req
350. - Ouch.Copy !req
351. - You okay?
- I can walk.Copy !req
352. - It's the Candy Striper Gang.
- Physician, heal thyself.Copy !req
353. - Let's go! Whoo!
Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
354. - I can't get down.
I'm stuck up here, help me.Copy !req
355. - You meet the nicest people
on a Honda.Copy !req
356. - "CHiPs" 15 years from now.Copy !req
357. - Boxes! Hoo-hoo-hoo.Copy !req
358. - Sounds like
every Kenny Loggins song.Copy !req
359. - I'm tired of the running
and the hiding.Copy !req
360. - Footloose.Copy !req
361. - Cool.Copy !req
362. - Oh, jeez, I told you to floss.Copy !req
363. - Okay, you can puke now.Copy !req
364. - Ohh.Copy !req
365. - Look at that.Copy !req
366. - Gee, I'll lose an arm,
you'll really crack up.Copy !req
367. - What's so funny?
- You're bleeding on my...Copy !req
368. - This guy is just funny.
He can't explain it.Copy !req
369. He can't explain it.
He's just funny.Copy !req
370. - Jeez, he'll pass a stone
in a minute.Copy !req
371. That will make you howl.Copy !req
372. - What?
- My name, Yogi.Copy !req
373. - You know, picnic basket,
Boo-Boo, all that stuff.Copy !req
374. - I'm Lee.
- Say.Copy !req
375. - Where are we going?Copy !req
376. - Oh, going to hell
in a handbasket.Copy !req
377. - You know, if they were
to drive in better-lit areas,Copy !req
378. they wouldn't run
into such hoodlums.Copy !req
379. - Right.
- You're right.Copy !req
380. This is neat.Copy !req
381. - Oh, a prop shop.Copy !req
382. - Hey, Mick, these fit you?Copy !req
383. We found a whole bunch down
by the tunnel.Copy !req
384. - The clown shoes are in.
- Wow.Copy !req
385. - All you got to do
is cut the toe part off.Copy !req
386. - Hey, uh, talk to Scooter.
He's got big feet.Copy !req
387. - Scooter, he's funny.
- I don't need it.Copy !req
388. It's no good.Copy !req
389. - Horshack, they're your Girl Scout cookies.Copy !req
390. - Get out of here.
- No!Copy !req
391. - Yes!
- No means no!Copy !req
392. - Yes!
- No!Copy !req
393. - Hey, hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
394. What's this?Copy !req
395. - This is food.Copy !req
396. - It's pussy nibbles.Copy !req
397. - It's good.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
398. This is so offensive
on so many levels.Copy !req
399. - We don't eat cat food.
- Why not?Copy !req
400. - Because we ain't cats!
- Doh!Copy !req
401. - Womp womp womp waah.Copy !req
402. - See, the first thing is cats
have four feet,Copy !req
403. and they've got fur.Copy !req
404. - I thought I would give you
guys another chance.Copy !req
405. - What happened?
- We had a turn with the DA.Copy !req
406. - Yeah?Copy !req
407. - Oh, you should have
been there.Copy !req
408. - Where'd she get this
Liz Claiborne pantsuitCopy !req
409. in the apocalypse?
- He killed Dirty Bob.Copy !req
410. - What?
- He killed him.Copy !req
411. - Wait a minute.
That's not the way it happened.Copy !req
412. - Hold it, hold it.
- Let's go.Copy !req
413. - Let's take this out.Copy !req
414. - I miss Kim.Copy !req
415. - These guys were chasing me.Copy !req
416. - Mook, after you.Copy !req
417. - Hey!Copy !req
418. - Hello, good day.
Happy to see you.Copy !req
419. I, Crow T. Robot,
have penned a little diddyCopy !req
420. in honor of the star of today's
experiment, Kim Cattrall.Copy !req
421. It's called "Oh, Kim Cattrall"
by Crow T. Robot,Copy !req
422. sung by Crow T. Robot.Copy !req
423. It's marked allegro con brio,
Kochel listing 643.Copy !req
424. And now a short scene from
"Mannequin" by Crow T. Robot.Copy !req
425. Well, I didn't really write it.Copy !req
426. I wish I had.Copy !req
427. Anyway, okay.
You guys ready, huh?Copy !req
428. - Ready.
- Okay. All right. Hit it.Copy !req
429. - Switcher.
- Oh, Joel.Copy !req
430. - Switcher.
- Do the voice.Copy !req
431. You're ruining it for me.
- Okay.Copy !req
432. Uh, Switcher,
you are one sick puppy.Copy !req
433. After him, Rambo.Copy !req
434. - Woof!
Woof! Grr!Copy !req
435. - Okay, now quick, go get intoyour James Spader costume, yeah.Copy !req
436. - Switcher, I am going
to clean your clock.Copy !req
437. I kind of like that.Copy !req
438. It's pretty good, isn't it?
- Come on, play right.Copy !req
439. - I'll never leave you.
- Oh, Gypsy, not yet.Copy !req
440. - Switcher, you are
one sick puppy.Copy !req
441. Switcher!Copy !req
442. Switcher!Copy !req
443. - You guys just
don't understand.Copy !req
444. - Switcher.
- Those are the boundaries.Copy !req
445. Now, the truce has got rules.Copy !req
446. - Rules in a knife fight?
- No guns.Copy !req
447. We don't use them.
They don't use them.Copy !req
448. Yeah.
- Hey, look in the back.Copy !req
449. It's the audience
interest curve.Copy !req
450. - No more killing.Copy !req
451. - Hey, that guy was chasing me.Copy !req
452. - Yeah, but you were over
in his territory.Copy !req
453. - Ray is going to want him back.Copy !req
454. - What?
- Ray is the head of the DAs.Copy !req
455. - The Shaggy DAs?
- Well, I don't care who he is.Copy !req
456. You can tell him
he can't have me.Copy !req
457. - You just can't do that.Copy !req
458. You're not even a Clipper.
You're just a mook.Copy !req
459. - You're nothing.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
460. Well, you're a dumb head.Copy !req
461. - Back where you came from, you
may be something, but here...Copy !req
462. - No, not really,
pretty much squat there, too.Copy !req
463. - I don't see any other way
but to give you up to him.Copy !req
464. - Hey, Mick, you ever read
"Insect Man Number 47"?Copy !req
465. - Oh, yeah, it's a really good,
great graphic novel.Copy !req
466. - An eye for an eye?
- A tooth for a tooth.Copy !req
467. - Look, make money
selling "Grit."Copy !req
468. - Oh, maybe.Copy !req
469. - What?Copy !req
470. - Go get Ray.Copy !req
471. Tell him we got
the Cowboy for him.Copy !req
472. - Oh, the movie is going
to get confusing now.Copy !req
473. - Yeah.Copy !req
474. - Going to have to
make this look good.Copy !req
475. - It's Huggy Bear
and the Kabuki Kids.Copy !req
476. - Hello, I'm Antonio Fargas.Copy !req
477. I'll be your foppish foil
for the next hour.Copy !req
478. - Ray.
- Mick.Copy !req
479. - What did you call me?Copy !req
480. - Here he is.Copy !req
481. - Ladies and gentlemen,
David Copperfield.Copy !req
482. - He don't look like much.
- He ain't.Copy !req
483. - We wrapped him up for you
and everything, Ray.Copy !req
484. - That's nice.Copy !req
485. - Why don't you have
a seat, Ray?Copy !req
486. - No, we've got to go.
- We've got —Copy !req
487. We've got a wedding to go to.Copy !req
488. - Ray, you ever read
"Insect Man"?Copy !req
489. - Whitey, you don't take
your arm off of us,Copy !req
490. we're going to break it.
- Us?Copy !req
491. We feeling a
little cranky, Sybil?Copy !req
492. - Did you?
- Of course.Copy !req
493. We read them all.Copy !req
494. We've got the biggest collectionin the city.Copy !req
495. - How about 47?
- That's the one with Boomerang.Copy !req
496. - No, that's 42.
- Yeah, right.Copy !req
497. - Oh, no, that's where Jughead
eats a lot of hamburgers.Copy !req
498. - Uh, 47 is the one where
this alien guy goes to the cityCopy !req
499. and by accident
kills a guy, right?Copy !req
500. And they don't know
what to do with him,Copy !req
501. so they set up this, uh...Copy !req
502. - Contest.
- ... contest.Copy !req
503. - Contest.Copy !req
504. - Your best guy against the mook.-Forget your line?Copy !req
505. Here's the script.
- I can't read.Copy !req
506. I just like all
the bright colors.Copy !req
507. - Dirty Bob was a personal
friend of ours.Copy !req
508. - Hey,
it will be like the old days.Copy !req
509. - Yeah, back when
movies had plots.Copy !req
510. - All right.Copy !req
511. He wins, you keep him.Copy !req
512. He loses...
- You keep him.Copy !req
513. - ... we do what
we want with him.Copy !req
514. - Starting with the nasty.Copy !req
515. - But we get to keep this.
- No.Copy !req
516. - Mine is getting kind of old.
- Sorry to hear that.Copy !req
517. - Now that I'm removed
from this,Copy !req
518. it all seems so absurd.Copy !req
519. - Days Inn, where all our rooms
are do not disturb.Copy !req
520. - Hey, your Jheri curl's arrived.Copy !req
521. - Okay, people.
Places, everyone.Copy !req
522. Here we go.Copy !req
523. - Okay, let's see.
Your grammar stinks.Copy !req
524. Your punctuation is atrocious.
B-minus.Copy !req
525. - Have you been waiting
for a long time?Copy !req
526. - Where's Carver?Copy !req
527. - Mr. Carver is a very
busy man, Ray.Copy !req
528. - So am I.Copy !req
529. - It's a little late
for script revisions.Copy !req
530. - I know.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
531. - How are you doing
with the Clippers?Copy !req
532. - Great, no more nose hairs.Copy !req
533. - That's what I wanted to talk
to Carver about.Copy !req
534. - I'm handling that now.Copy !req
535. - See?
- Just tell Carver the ClippersCopy !req
536. are going to be
in our territory tomorrow.Copy !req
537. We're having a game.
- Husker Du in Norwegian means,Copy !req
538. "Do you remember?"
- Good.Copy !req
539. I'll have, uh, Wickings
talk to them.Copy !req
540. - I'm so angry,
I could just spit.Copy !req
541. - Uh, Ray?
- Uh, did you get your lollipop?Copy !req
542. There's a free one
for you right here.Copy !req
543. - How much does he know
about us?Copy !req
544. - I've been very discrete.Copy !req
545. - Mm-hmm.
- Nothing.Copy !req
546. - From what you say about him,
I didn't expect WickingsCopy !req
547. to have much success.Copy !req
548. - Mick will come around.Copy !req
549. He's not stupid.
- Stupid.Copy !req
550. - So you say and I hope
you're right.Copy !req
551. Our relationship depends on it.
- That and mutual content.Copy !req
552. - We're not interested
in half a city.Copy !req
553. Do you understand?
- Ah, okay.Copy !req
554. - They'll come around.
- Good.Copy !req
555. I'll see you tomorrow, then.Copy !req
556. - It's a date.Copy !req
557. - Oh, now that's
downright disrespectful.Copy !req
558. - Well, at least they're going
to the library.Copy !req
559. - Big polar bear
and the raiders.Copy !req
560. - So the future is ruled
by vicious fops.Copy !req
561. Is that what we're supposed
to believe here?Copy !req
562. - Yep, pretty much.
- Hello.Copy !req
563. I am Inigo Montoya.
- He is dreamy.Copy !req
564. - Don't pollute.Copy !req
565. - Mick.
- Ray.Copy !req
566. - How's the hat party going?
- How's it going?Copy !req
567. - I got a surprise
for you, Mick.Copy !req
568. - Gee, thanks.
And I didn't get you anything!Copy !req
569. - This is Wickings.
She's from —Copy !req
570. - Is this a pull?
- This is Mick.Copy !req
571. - Mick.
- Go ahead, pull her finger.Copy !req
572. It's fun.Copy !req
573. - I, uh, understand that
you're going to haveCopy !req
574. some kind of
a contest here, so, um...Copy !req
575. - Yep, did you bring
your T-shirt?Copy !req
576. - ... I won't take up
too much of your time.Copy !req
577. I represent
the Sunya corporation.Copy !req
578. - The who?Copy !req
579. - And we're hired by
the federal government...Copy !req
580. - Oh, this is a pull.Copy !req
581. - ... to restore essential
services in your area.Copy !req
582. - Mm-hmm.
- Now, what this means —Copy !req
583. - Lady, we ain't stupid.Copy !req
584. - Nobody is calling anybody
stupid, Mick.Copy !req
585. - Not on screen, anyway.
- Let's get out of here.Copy !req
586. - Now, wait — wait a second.
- Tell him about the lights.Copy !req
587. - I —
Look, after you're done here,Copy !req
588. why don't you ride over and see
what we're doing on Ray's site?Copy !req
589. There's going to be
medicine and food.Copy !req
590. - And party favors.
- Can you remember whatCopy !req
591. the city used to be like?Copy !req
592. We're going to
light it up again.Copy !req
593. - Like Broadway!
- Shh.Copy !req
594. Let her speak.
- I don't remember no lights.Copy !req
595. It was before my time,
before yours too, maybe.Copy !req
596. - You're being stupid, Mick.Copy !req
597. - "Indiana Jones
and the Temple of Goons"?Copy !req
598. - Lady, nobody gives
nothing for nothing.Copy !req
599. - Except Billy Preston.Copy !req
600. - Mm-hmm.
- What about the game?Copy !req
601. - Are we going to have
a game or not?Copy !req
602. - Yeah, we'll play.
- Scattergories!Copy !req
603. - What's the matter, Ray,
none of your guys want to play?Copy !req
604. - They're scared.
- Come on, where'sCopy !req
605. your school spirit?
- Can I say something?Copy !req
606. - No.
- Everybody shut up!Copy !req
607. Kim is going to say something.
Okay, go ahead, Kim.Copy !req
608. - Ray?
- Kim?Copy !req
609. - Ray.Copy !req
610. - Salieri.Copy !req
611. - No, it's one of those
Flowbee haircutters.Copy !req
612. - Wow.Copy !req
613. - For me?
All right!Copy !req
614. - This ain't fair.Copy !req
615. - You're right, it ain't.Copy !req
616. - She's wearing a set of LEGOs
on her head.Copy !req
617. - Hey, it's Beefeater.Copy !req
618. - I'll buy you a gin
tonic after this.Copy !req
619. - Looks kind of like Goofy.Copy !req
620. - Bonehead.
- Bonehead! Good one.Copy !req
621. Jeez, they should take better
care of their pets.Copy !req
622. - Mm.
Hey, that's not a museum.Copy !req
623. That's the cover
of "The Far Side Gallery"!Copy !req
624. - Wow.Copy !req
625. - You know, this sport is a lot
better when played outside.Copy !req
626. - I think.Copy !req
627. - I claim this planet
in the name of Mars.Copy !req
628. - You know, I should
take up modeling.Copy !req
629. I got great cheekbones.Copy !req
630. - I'm still here,
Happer, you crap hound.Copy !req
631. - Luke, I am your father.Copy !req
632. - Surely, you joust!
- Ooh!Copy !req
633. - Oh, and he picked up
a spare... rib!Copy !req
634. - Da-dum, tss.Copy !req
635. - That's coming out of your
allowance until you pay backCopy !req
636. Michael Jackson every last cent!Copy !req
637. - "Cycles with Wolves."Copy !req
638. - Oh, she'll never look
for me under here.Copy !req
639. - Comedy chattering teeth.Copy !req
640. - Mr. Henning's illusions
are accomplishedCopy !req
641. without the aid
of camera trickery.Copy !req
642. - Wow.
- What's he doing?Copy !req
643. - You don't want to know.
- Grooming.Copy !req
644. - Ooh!Copy !req
645. - Yep, have a nice trip.
See you next fall.Copy !req
646. - I have no lines here.Copy !req
647. Hey, those jazz dance classes
are really paying off!Copy !req
648. - Ooh, it's a pizza cutter.Copy !req
649. - Should I cut it Chicago-style?Copy !req
650. - Yeah.Copy !req
651. - Hail Dorothy,
the Wicked Witch is dead!Copy !req
652. - Hail Dorothy.Copy !req
653. - Here at Studio 14,
"The Munsters Today" is filmed.Copy !req
654. - Come back later.
The wizard is busy.Copy !req
655. - I feel like a happy king!Copy !req
656. - Thomas Hewitt Edward Cat.Copy !req
657. - These people are not animals.Copy !req
658. - They're not actors.
- What would you call them?Copy !req
659. - Well, I admit what we've seen
here is a certain element of...Copy !req
660. - What, barbarism?Copy !req
661. - Okay, barbarism, fine.Copy !req
662. - Fine?
It's great!Copy !req
663. - Mr. Carver, talk is useless
with these people.Copy !req
664. - These people were born here.Copy !req
665. - Sorry, um, Sizzler for lunch
again, everybody?Copy !req
666. - Thank you.
- Sizzler okay with you guys?Copy !req
667. - Ooh, great, only the fourth
time this week.Copy !req
668. - Disappointed, Ray.Copy !req
669. - Why must he always torture me?Copy !req
670. - We delivered gasoline,
you asked for spare parts.Copy !req
671. We delivered spare parts.Copy !req
672. - It's the
Bil Baird marionettes!Copy !req
673. - Wow!Copy !req
674. - Um, I can sympathize
with your feelings.Copy !req
675. - But you're contractually
obligated to finish this film.Copy !req
676. - Progress...
- That's what my career lacks.Copy !req
677. - ... is a train.Copy !req
678. You can climb aboard.Copy !req
679. You can get out of the way,
or you can be crushed.Copy !req
680. - What's it like being
a has-been?Copy !req
681. - This train isn't stopping.Copy !req
682. I also personally...
- What?Copy !req
683. Oh, these mischievous DAsCopy !req
684. ordered 1,000 pizzas
to their address.Copy !req
685. - ... Clippers.Copy !req
686. - We want it.Copy !req
687. - Things take time.Copy !req
688. - Things change.
- We're out of time, Ray.Copy !req
689. - Ah, not the foot!
Oh, foot!Copy !req
690. Ow, ow, ow!
- Hey, that's not Old Milwaukee.Copy !req
691. It's Colt 45.Copy !req
692. - The beer that made Detroit
famous.Copy !req
693. - Hey, I can't find the snow
for the next scene!Copy !req
694. Ah!Copy !req
695. Hmm? Oh.Copy !req
696. - Aah!Copy !req
697. - Huh?
- Go bring him down.Copy !req
698. - Wait.Copy !req
699. - Can you guys give me a hand?
Wow.Copy !req
700. - Oh, that's the thanks I get!Copy !req
701. It's Hayley Mills inCopy !req
702. "Where Cannon Workers Go,
Trouble Follows."Copy !req
703. - Whoa!
- Ooh.Copy !req
704. - "Robin Hood:
Prince of Feebs."Copy !req
705. - Oof!
- Ohh!Copy !req
706. Oh, that Super Dave OsborneCopy !req
707. really cracks me up.Copy !req
708. - Come on, Mr. Welland,
get back up there.Copy !req
709. - You're over the line, Whitey.Copy !req
710. - Guns are for scrolls, Ray.Copy !req
711. Besides, it's a waste
of good beer.Copy !req
712. - Are you alone?
- Well, I'm seeing someoneCopy !req
713. if that...
Ugh.Copy !req
714. - Be careful, these guys
are trained cable installers.Copy !req
715. - Yeah, Ray, I'm alone.Copy !req
716. I'm alone.Copy !req
717. - No wonder you're alone.
What a pig.Copy !req
718. - It's crude but funny.Copy !req
719. - I want to show you
something, Ray.Copy !req
720. We're done playing around.Copy !req
721. - Uh-oh,
the principal heard that.Copy !req
722. - What, what?
I was kidding!Copy !req
723. I was kidding!
I'll clean it up.Copy !req
724. What were you saying
about the train?Copy !req
725. I forget now.Copy !req
726. - Day one, day two,
day three.Copy !req
727. Day one.Copy !req
728. - Carver left his bike.Copy !req
729. Heh, bike.Copy !req
730. - Et tu, Brute?Copy !req
731. - Hey, they're taking his
training wheels off!Copy !req
732. - Oh, that proves the romance
of David Bowie and Mick Jagger.Copy !req
733. - Ooh.
- No!Copy !req
734. - Hey, it's Jay Schroeder.Copy !req
735. - Hmm.
- Jack be nimble.Copy !req
736. - All of a sudden,
De Niro shows up.Copy !req
737. Oh, I saw this in "JFK."
Oop.Copy !req
738. - Ooh.Copy !req
739. - Crickets?Copy !req
740. - He looks like Ed Begley Jr.,
all right.Copy !req
741. - Hmm.
- Huh?Copy !req
742. - You got ideas, Lee?Copy !req
743. - No, my puzzler hurts.
- Sure, I —Copy !req
744. I got lots of ideas.Copy !req
745. - I thought of fish sticks once.
- Good...Copy !req
746. - Keep them to yourself.
- ... because I'm all out.Copy !req
747. - Want to get some ice creams?Copy !req
748. Hey, great dialogue!Copy !req
749. - Hey.Copy !req
750. - LensCrafters, "Kim Cattrall
in about 1 hour."Copy !req
751. - Would you quit being evil
over my shoulder?Copy !req
752. It's really slow,
must be System 7.Copy !req
753. - Hey, watch it.
- Come on.Copy !req
754. - Oh, and there's your punch.
- Bingo.Copy !req
755. - We got to get Windows
for this thing.Copy !req
756. - Yeah.Copy !req
757. - Oh, get temps, it's easy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
758. - Hmm.Copy !req
759. - Satisfied?
- Ah!Copy !req
760. Hmm?Copy !req
761. - I've always had a great deal
of respect for you.Copy !req
762. - But now I have to kill you.Copy !req
763. - You do a hell of a job,
but, uh...Copy !req
764. - You look like a guy.
- ... now you let me do mine.Copy !req
765. You understand?
- No.Copy !req
766. No, I don't understand.Copy !req
767. - You know, she just has
those glasses so she canCopy !req
768. pull them off dramatically.Copy !req
769. - I like it.Copy !req
770. - Let me put it
to you this way...Copy !req
771. - ... you go to your room,
and you stay there.Copy !req
772. - Okay, let's go.
- Do you understand that?Copy !req
773. - But all I got is an alcove.Copy !req
774. - Then you go to your alcove,
and you stay there.Copy !req
775. - By tomorrow morning,
this will be history.Copy !req
776. - Okay, "Superman"?
- Uh, DC.Copy !req
777. - Of course, uh, "Mighty Thor"?
- Marvel!Copy !req
778. - Oh, yeah.
- "Little Audrey."Copy !req
779. - Oh, burn it.Copy !req
780. - Oh.
Uh, hey, say, shouldn't we beCopy !req
781. carefully placing these
comic books in plastic bags?Copy !req
782. - Mm, no. We have lives.
- Hey. What you doing?Copy !req
783. - Don't touch our comic books!
Just stay away.Copy !req
784. - Jeepers, sorry.Copy !req
785. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
786. Based on today's, uh, rampant
comic book cultureCopy !req
787. and today's experiment,Copy !req
788. you two have gone back
through your comic collectionCopy !req
789. to find the meaning of life.Copy !req
790. I get it.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
791. We found that.
That's that pile.Copy !req
792. It's the "Desert Erotic" comic,
Dell version.Copy !req
793. - Yeah, and it's packed
with action sequences!Copy !req
794. - Oh, yeah.Copy !req
795. - We want a child
of the universe.Copy !req
796. Now die!Copy !req
797. - Go placidly amid
the noise and haste?Copy !req
798. I don't think so!Copy !req
799. - Oh, I see.Copy !req
800. Since you can make a comic book
about just —Copy !req
801. - Uh, uh, graphic novel, Joel.
- Oh, I see.Copy !req
802. Since you can make a graphicnovel about just about anything,Copy !req
803. why don't we come up
with our own superheroes?Copy !req
804. - Oh!
Uh, I got one.Copy !req
805. Uh, uh, it's, uh,
called Man-Man.Copy !req
806. He's bestowed
with all the powers of a man,Copy !req
807. but he's a man.Copy !req
808. - I got an idea. How about —
- Oh, w-wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
809. Maybe Man-Man draws his
strength from Robert Bly.Copy !req
810. - Oh, yeah.
- Well, that could be good.Copy !req
811. How about Lumberman?Copy !req
812. He controls the forces
of lumber.Copy !req
813. - Oh!
- Able to route lumber suppliesCopy !req
814. to different parts
of the countryCopy !req
815. with his sidekick, Woody.Copy !req
816. - Yeah.
- He defends the rain forests.Copy !req
817. Yet even he finds Sting
annoying.Copy !req
818. - That's good.
Hey, I got an idea.Copy !req
819. Why don't we come up witha supergroup of all superheroes?Copy !req
820. - Oh, like the Fantastic Four?
- Bigger.Copy !req
821. - Uh, 12?Copy !req
822. - No, no, no.
- More!Copy !req
823. - I know, I know,
the Fantastic 85.Copy !req
824. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
825. - Starting with Elbowman!
- Yeah, how about Mr. Paper Cut?Copy !req
826. 47 different angles
of paper jut from his body.Copy !req
827. - Oh, the Punisher!
- There is a Punisher.Copy !req
828. - Y-Yeah.Copy !req
829. - Oh, well,
this is a new sort of Punisher.Copy !req
830. He's not overly strict.Copy !req
831. He just sends people
to their rooms.Copy !req
832. - I see.
- The Lint Attachment Man.Copy !req
833. - Jazz Trio Man, able to trade
fours with himself, yeah.Copy !req
834. - The Human Dog!Copy !req
835. - Professor Hitler
and His Invisible Knee Machine!Copy !req
836. - Really Deep Man —
he's really deep, man.Copy !req
837. - Ooh, or The Pheasant Plucker
and The Pheasant Plucker's Son.Copy !req
838. - Uh, the Black Nun, all black,
none of the white bits.Copy !req
839. - Wow.
- Always Smells Like Maple Man.Copy !req
840. - The awesome power
of Absorbing Senior!Copy !req
841. - Movie Sign Man!
- Yeah, Movie Sign Man!Copy !req
842. - Servo Croatian Boy.
- Moon Man!Copy !req
843. - Calamari Man.
- Or Butter Caps.Copy !req
844. - Mm, Foam Face.
- Mrs. Martian.Copy !req
845. - ... the chance to get in line.
They didn't take it.Copy !req
846. - You can't just
cut them down this!Copy !req
847. - The school needs the band!Copy !req
848. - Listen to me one more time.
I can get you want you want.Copy !req
849. I know it!
- Backstage passes?Copy !req
850. - Let me at least try.
- All right. Okay.Copy !req
851. - If not, you can take it back
and get what you want.Copy !req
852. - ... this Mick,Copy !req
853. that they either cooperate,
or they're dead.Copy !req
854. - Ooh!
- Nice nicotine patch.Copy !req
855. - Got that?
- Thanks, I needed that.Copy !req
856. Hi-ho!Copy !req
857. - Hi-ho!Copy !req
858. - The Macy's Parade
15 years from now.Copy !req
859. - That's next year.Copy !req
860. Get it?
- Oh, yeah, hey, current.Copy !req
861. - Shriner's Pass and Review.Copy !req
862. - Hey, it's the big municipal
bike roundup and safety check!Copy !req
863. - It's all wrong.Copy !req
864. - Yes, it needs some mauves
and some teals.Copy !req
865. - How come Kim gets such
a boring wardrobe?Copy !req
866. - Because Kim is so boring.
- No!Copy !req
867. - Hey, wait a minute.
Something is amiss.Copy !req
868. Where's my Robby Benson poster?Copy !req
869. - There's got to be a way
out of this film.Copy !req
870. - The seven Mercury astronauts!Copy !req
871. - It's Conrad Birdie!Copy !req
872. Hi, black guys.
- Hi, yellow guys.Copy !req
873. - You know that roll barCopy !req
874. is not going to be
much help in an accident.Copy !req
875. - Ah, those are all the guys
who missed outCopy !req
876. on the "Master Ninja."Copy !req
877. - Trust the Gorton's fishermen.Copy !req
878. - I am curious yellow.Copy !req
879. - That's quite a bobby
pin there, Kim.Copy !req
880. - Norton, out of there!Copy !req
881. - Oh, so it
all comes together now!Copy !req
882. - Yes.
- SW548.Copy !req
883. - It's so hard
getting around London.Copy !req
884. - Yep.
Oh, I get it.Copy !req
885. She's in the Chunnel.
- The Chunnel of Chile?Copy !req
886. - Chunnel of Tilly.Copy !req
887. - I'm not eating
the Tunnel of Chili.Copy !req
888. - Together: ♪ Born to be wildCopy !req
889. - "The Mild Ones."Copy !req
890. - Madea? M-Madea.
- Madeaman, that's it.Copy !req
891. - Oh, yeah.
- I resent that.Copy !req
892. - Still carrying that torch.Copy !req
893. You're fired, Scarecrow!Copy !req
894. - Super Scarecrow.Copy !req
895. Hey, you're supposed to emulate
someone, not immolate them.Copy !req
896. - Johnny Kingsford,
edges light quickly.Copy !req
897. - I am the god of hellfire,
and I bring you...Copy !req
898. - Hogan.
- You know, the kid will eatCopy !req
899. the middle
of a sewer cover first.Copy !req
900. - And leave Kim Cattrall
for Crow?Copy !req
901. - Kim's having my fantasy
about her.Copy !req
902. - Ooh!Copy !req
903. - Oh, wow.Copy !req
904. - Hey, it's an NBC
mystery movie!Copy !req
905. - Would you stop that?Copy !req
906. You guys, there —Every time you see a flashlight,Copy !req
907. it's
not "The NBC Mystery Movie."Copy !req
908. - You programmed us, wiener.
- Yeah.Copy !req
909. Kim Cattrall for First Alert.Copy !req
910. - Mr. Goodbar?
Mr. Goodbar!Copy !req
911. - Come on, Kim. Come on!
You got to want it!Copy !req
912. Come on, push!Copy !req
913. - Super Kim.
- You bet.Copy !req
914. - Fletch, no!Copy !req
915. - Listen to me.Copy !req
916. - I'm the Sunday night
mystery movie!Copy !req
917. - Stop.
- I've just come from Sunya.Copy !req
918. - Penny?Copy !req
919. - You picked a bad time
to come here.Copy !req
920. - Lucille.
- They're going to kill Mick.Copy !req
921. - "The Rat Patrol," in color.Copy !req
922. Uh-oh, Sonny Rollins
is at it again.Copy !req
923. Kill him.Copy !req
924. - The night belongs
to Old Milwaukee.Copy !req
925. - I think that guy has got
a Napoleon complex.Copy !req
926. - Hmm.
- Super Bonaparte.Copy !req
927. - We got to get more
themed costumes.Copy !req
928. These guys are
kicking our butts.Copy !req
929. - Crossfire.
- You got to come with us, Mick.Copy !req
930. - "Greensleeves," dudes.
- There's no pull.Copy !req
931. These scrolls are serious.Copy !req
932. I'm talking to you, Mick!Copy !req
933. - Sleep!Copy !req
934. - I know I'm foppish.Copy !req
935. - I got him to wait.
- Underweight?Copy !req
936. Try a sports shake.Copy !req
937. They have a whole stick
of butter in every can.Copy !req
938. - Mick, I couldn't do
nothing about Whitey.Copy !req
939. - Hey, that's a double negative!Copy !req
940. Get him.Copy !req
941. - Looks like Belushi.
- Ooh!Copy !req
942. - Shoot him down.
Shoot to kill.Copy !req
943. - Ah, a little like
a turkey shoot. Whee-hoo!Copy !req
944. - Rae Dawn, no!
- No!Copy !req
945. - Rae Dawn, I can't believe it!Copy !req
946. - Bay City Roller Man.Copy !req
947. - Ooh.
- It's Henry V.Copy !req
948. - Ooh!Copy !req
949. - Oh, no!
No!Copy !req
950. - You got my little pants dirty!
- Oh, no!Copy !req
951. Barb Lindsay has been hit!Copy !req
952. - Start seeing motorcycles.
- Ooh.Copy !req
953. - Hmm.
Saved by a jawbreaker helmet.Copy !req
954. - Ooh, I wish I had worn
my bulletproof codpiece!Copy !req
955. - Hey, Theresa Russell!Copy !req
956. - Now, ride, David, ride!Copy !req
957. - Ooh.Copy !req
958. - Fonzie, no!Copy !req
959. - You know, the carnage
is beautiful from up here.Copy !req
960. - I tire.
I'm going home.Copy !req
961. - Next week on "City Limits"...Copy !req
962. - You know, that
could've gone better.Copy !req
963. Mm.Copy !req
964. - Hey, our gondola
driver is dead.Copy !req
965. - Ooh.Copy !req
966. - Who's this?
- Bobby quit.Copy !req
967. - Whoa, Rogaine out of control.
- I don't see Mick.Copy !req
968. - He's a Q-tip.
- Mm.Copy !req
969. - Get away from him.
- He's lost a lot of blood.Copy !req
970. - Shut up!Copy !req
971. - I can stop the bleeding.
- Hey, cut that out.Copy !req
972. - Yogi.
- Yeah, Boo-Boo?Copy !req
973. - Your — Your Popsicle melted.Copy !req
974. - Who'd have thought the old man
to have so much blood?Copy !req
975. - It's going to be okay.
- Lady Macbeth.Copy !req
976. - It's going to be okay, Mick.Copy !req
977. - Somewhere, there's a clown
missing a sleeve.Copy !req
978. - Listen, Mick...Copy !req
979. - Tourniquet,
I could've done that.Copy !req
980. - I wish I were a fish.Copy !req
981. Carry on, folks.Copy !req
982. - Hmm?Copy !req
983. - Jim Henson's
Rae Dawn Chong Babies.Copy !req
984. - Oh, ohh,
wait, is this happening now,Copy !req
985. or 15 years ago,
which would be now?Copy !req
986. - The same thing happened
to me out there, funny.Copy !req
987. - Ah.Copy !req
988. - Should I reweave my hair?Copy !req
989. - I should pick up the place,
but I'm tired.Copy !req
990. - Oh.Copy !req
991. - Hi.Copy !req
992. What you doing?Copy !req
993. - Give me a hand.Copy !req
994. - What we're doing here, Bob,
is taking out the old plumbing.Copy !req
995. - Hey, it looks like someone
foundCopy !req
996. a Ronco rhinestone
and stud setter.Copy !req
997. - Ooh.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
998. - We need wheels.
- We got wheels.Copy !req
999. - We got two bikes, smart.
There's three of us.Copy !req
1000. - Four.
- I'm in.Copy !req
1001. - Yogi, I want you to go Pike's.
- Peak?Copy !req
1002. - Mick —
- Don't!Copy !req
1003. Just listen for a change.Copy !req
1004. I'll meet you later
at the station.Copy !req
1005. - At the Shining Time Station?Copy !req
1006. - Get over here.Copy !req
1007. Pull that wire out of there.Copy !req
1008. - Aah!Copy !req
1009. - Works every time.Copy !req
1010. - He can really deliver a line.Copy !req
1011. - Ooh.Copy !req
1012. - Oh.
- Like old times, huh, Sitch?Copy !req
1013. - Boom! Well, you didn't used
to hit me like that.Copy !req
1014. - Hey, can I do one?Copy !req
1015. - Ow.Copy !req
1016. - Hey, what did I miss?Copy !req
1017. - Come on!
Get their clothes.Copy !req
1018. - Hey, look, I'm really happy
with what I'm wearing now.Copy !req
1019. - No acting beyond this point,
not allowed.Copy !req
1020. - Ah, the illegal smugglingof mimes, nobody talks about it.Copy !req
1021. - Our "Soylent Green"
tour begins here.Copy !req
1022. - That's it.
- Hey, don't hassle me!Copy !req
1023. Oh, you.
- You got all the Clippers?Copy !req
1024. - Not all of them.
- Come on.Copy !req
1025. Let's go.
- Now what are you, Gallagher?Copy !req
1026. - Mm-hmm.
- It looks like cough syrup.Copy !req
1027. - Whoo!Copy !req
1028. - Oh, it looks like
a Vicks Formula 44 wipeout.Copy !req
1029. - Ick.
- They're going to spank him!Copy !req
1030. Oh, look!Copy !req
1031. - Oh, it's
"American Gladiators."Copy !req
1032. - Hmm.
- Sam.Copy !req
1033. Sammy!Copy !req
1034. - Wait, wait, it's me!
- Mick!Copy !req
1035. - "Annie Hall"?
- You was dead.Copy !req
1036. - Whose idea was this?
- I learned it from you, Mick.Copy !req
1037. - Where did I learn it?
- Ride with me.Copy !req
1038. - I got my own bike.
- Ooh.Copy !req
1039. - Uh, I'm guessing it's closed.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1040. Uh, we're not open yet!Copy !req
1041. - Kids, no bikes in the house.
- Mick,Copy !req
1042. there's something
I got to tell you.Copy !req
1043. - I said butter, not guns!
- Mick, there ain't no bullets!Copy !req
1044. - Aren't any, Rae, aren't any.
- See? Still works.Copy !req
1045. - Mick.
- Get out of my way.Copy !req
1046. - He is a master
of the universe,Copy !req
1047. no less than the trees.Copy !req
1048. - Mick, what is it?
- It's taffeta.Copy !req
1049. What do you think?
- Clippers is done.Copy !req
1050. - Hey!
- Clippers are done.Copy !req
1051. - Ernie.
- Hey, Bert.Copy !req
1052. - When is Robby Benson
coming back?Copy !req
1053. - Tell —
Tell Ray I want to see him.Copy !req
1054. - Well, you can call him Ray,
or you can call him Jerry,Copy !req
1055. or you can call him
Sonny, but you...Copy !req
1056. - What are you looking at?Copy !req
1057. - If I'm not back in an hour,
you're on your own.Copy !req
1058. - Order without me.Copy !req
1059. - Hey, you're Kim Cattrall.Copy !req
1060. - Minneapolis after
the Super Bowl.Copy !req
1061. - Mick,
Mick, you've got to quit.Copy !req
1062. - It's a dirty habit, man.
- Look, you leave.Copy !req
1063. You go somewhere.
- No deal, huh?Copy !req
1064. - We're doing good, Mick?
- Well, doing well.Copy !req
1065. - They need us.Copy !req
1066. They would've used you, too.
- Used is right.Copy !req
1067. - Oh, get off it, Mick.Copy !req
1068. Open your eyes.
Look at you.Copy !req
1069. - Yeah, junior achievement works!Copy !req
1070. - This is a Sunya town now.Copy !req
1071. - Yeah.Copy !req
1072. - Hey, it's the BART system.
- Mm.Copy !req
1073. - Go!
Mick, go!Copy !req
1074. - It's a Days Inn courtesy van.Copy !req
1075. - Hi, I'm your Monsanto
representative.Copy !req
1076. - Ray, did you say that Ernie
did something to you?Copy !req
1077. - And I'm the sailor
with a difference.Copy !req
1078. - Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
1079. - Boy, that helmet
has been everywhere.Copy !req
1080. - I'm filled with secrets.
Ohh!Copy !req
1081. - Uh, okay, thanks.Copy !req
1082. Uh, what do I owe you
for the ride?Copy !req
1083. - What a dope.
- Bitter.Copy !req
1084. - I'm dead now.
- I'm Dead Boy.Copy !req
1085. - Ooh, Dead Boy.
- Dead Boy.Copy !req
1086. - Ooh, that chair has got
a bad spring, huh?Copy !req
1087. - Let's not drag this out
any longer.Copy !req
1088. Ernie told us all about
the gas station,Copy !req
1089. but they aren't there anymore.Copy !req
1090. They left you, Mick.Copy !req
1091. - Bingo!Copy !req
1092. - All right.
All right.Copy !req
1093. - Wasn't a greeny.Copy !req
1094. - Aw.
- Okay.Copy !req
1095. - Let's go in and catch the end
of the Cubs game.Copy !req
1096. - Let's go get your friends.Copy !req
1097. - This is a nice location
for a beating, isn't it?Copy !req
1098. - Mm-hmm, scenic.Copy !req
1099. - Where is she?
Come on, Mick.Copy !req
1100. She killed Whitey.
- Yeah, what about Lumpy?Copy !req
1101. - You didn't know that.
- Where's Wickings?Copy !req
1102. - I'm right here.
- Huh?Copy !req
1103. How about a little fire,
Scarecrow?Copy !req
1104. - Super Dave, no!
- Super Dave!Copy !req
1105. Oh, it's dumb.Copy !req
1106. - Oh, no.Copy !req
1107. Look, can we all just stop
and look at our scripts?Copy !req
1108. Oh, I guess it does say
that Boy George drivesCopy !req
1109. in lobbing
Molotov cocktails, huh?Copy !req
1110. - He's a lasso rep.
- What a drag.Copy !req
1111. - Switcher!
- Switcher!Copy !req
1112. - Now you do it, Ray.
- You are one sick puppy.Copy !req
1113. - Hey, it's the Sunday night
mystery movie gang!Copy !req
1114. There's "Columbo,"
"The Snoop Sisters,"McCloud."Copy !req
1115. - Would you cut that out?
Alvin!Copy !req
1116. - Sorry, Dave.
- Aw, heck, Ramsey.Copy !req
1117. Start seeing motorcycle movies.Copy !req
1118. Ah.Copy !req
1119. - Great, they lapped the plot.
- Doh!Copy !req
1120. - They're back at the beginning!Copy !req
1121. - Oh, man.
We just went in a big circle.Copy !req
1122. Wake up.
We're at Grandma's.Copy !req
1123. - Fashions by Maude.Copy !req
1124. - God will get you
for that, Joel.Copy !req
1125. Take a shot at him.Copy !req
1126. - Oh, my kneecap exploded!Copy !req
1127. - Well, you think
he'd see that coming.Copy !req
1128. It happened already.Copy !req
1129. - Leeland!Copy !req
1130. - It was just a love shot,
my man.Copy !req
1131. - From the love gun?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1132. - All right?
- Yeah, it's okay.Copy !req
1133. - This is C— Oh, you know.Copy !req
1134. Where are we?Copy !req
1135. - Back at the beginning
of the movie.Copy !req
1136. - Leeland.
- Solar.Copy !req
1137. - How many dogs do you think
he killed to get that coat?Copy !req
1138. - Plenty.
- You okay?Copy !req
1139. - Hi. Come on in.
- Damn, boy.Copy !req
1140. I told you to find adventure.
I didn't say drag it home.Copy !req
1141. - Well, you implied it.
- These are the Clippers.Copy !req
1142. - Hey, you're Kim Cattrall.Copy !req
1143. - Hey, who invited
the stinky guy?Copy !req
1144. Smells like pussy nibbles.Copy !req
1145. - Looks like
"Raising Arizona" now.Copy !req
1146. - Morning on Yasgur's farm.Copy !req
1147. - What is this,
pantsless motorcycle repair?Copy !req
1148. - Strip motorcycle...
- Grape-Nuts, anybody?Copy !req
1149. - Oh, it's still too hot,
got to take off more clothes.Copy !req
1150. - Playing center,
Chong, Rae Dawn Chong.Copy !req
1151. - Do you want to take off
your pants and join me?Copy !req
1152. - Was that you?
Did you just caw?Copy !req
1153. - Next week on
"Gabriel's Fire"...Copy !req
1154. - There is no next week
on "Gabriel's Fire," Jim.Copy !req
1155. - I haven't even
thought about it.Copy !req
1156. - Well, you ought to.Copy !req
1157. The longer you wait...Copy !req
1158. - The better she looks.
- ... the easier it gets.Copy !req
1159. - This thing comes
in real clear.Copy !req
1160. - Man, she's got no pants,
and he's got no shirt.Copy !req
1161. They barely have one outfit
between them.Copy !req
1162. - Oh, it's a kick-start.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1163. - I'll never finish this.Copy !req
1164. - Want to do something
about her?Copy !req
1165. Ah, where was I?Copy !req
1166. - Hi.
I'm Martha Raye, the bigmouth.Copy !req
1167. Hi.
- Let a smile be your umbrella.Copy !req
1168. - There's a...
- Supertramp?Copy !req
1169. - ... hole in this casing.
- I know that.Copy !req
1170. - Dear Liza?
- Boy, it was windy last night.Copy !req
1171. The cows stuck right
to the barn.Copy !req
1172. - So? So what?Copy !req
1173. So I'm stuck here.
- Well, I was just going to say,Copy !req
1174. "Tina Turner wants
her dress back."Copy !req
1175. - You been in the barn?
- No.Copy !req
1176. - Well, come on.
- Oh.Copy !req
1177. - God, like, I'm so sure
it stinks in there...Copy !req
1178. - Come on.
- .. and stuff.Copy !req
1179. Super Rae Dawn Chong.Copy !req
1180. - Is there anything
living in here?Copy !req
1181. - That is just like "Witness."Copy !req
1182. - Well, there's probably
microorganismsCopy !req
1183. living in here and stuff
if you want to get technical.Copy !req
1184. - Come on.Copy !req
1185. - Oh.
- Oh.Copy !req
1186. - Gary Busey sold it to me.
- It's nice, huh?Copy !req
1187. It's a 1948
Indian Bonneville Chief.Copy !req
1188. - That's my mother dear.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1189. - Can I?
- Yeah, go ahead.Copy !req
1190. See, it's got the, um,
got the left-hand throttle.Copy !req
1191. - Oh.
- Oh, I've got the best sweaterCopy !req
1192. to go with this.Copy !req
1193. - But I think you'll be
more interestedCopy !req
1194. in something like this!Copy !req
1195. - Aah!
- Gah!Copy !req
1196. - Aah!
- Sammy!Copy !req
1197. - What are you...Copy !req
1198. - Uh, uh, I...
- No, no, no.Copy !req
1199. - Sing it.
It works for Mel Tillis.Copy !req
1200. - Do you like this one?Copy !req
1201. - Would you like this bike?
Sure, we all would.Copy !req
1202. - Yeah, go ahead.
- Eat it.Copy !req
1203. - Roll it out.
- Eat it, boy. Eat it.Copy !req
1204. Bacon.Copy !req
1205. - Ooh.Copy !req
1206. - It's the adventures
of Ultrageek.Copy !req
1207. - It's the wackiest motorcycle
in the Army!Copy !req
1208. Doh!Copy !req
1209. - Ding.Copy !req
1210. - Ha ha.Copy !req
1211. - That's the stupidest thing
I've done in a movie.Copy !req
1212. Yeah.Copy !req
1213. - Oh, we have so much funCopy !req
1214. laughing
at the misfortune of others.Copy !req
1215. - Huh?Copy !req
1216. - Mick, you ain't in no shape
to be going anyplace.Copy !req
1217. - Manage.
- Where we going?Copy !req
1218. - Crazy.
Want to come?Copy !req
1219. - Just me.Copy !req
1220. - Well, me and my swarthy
friend here.Copy !req
1221. - Was thinking about
heading north.Copy !req
1222. I got a right, don't I?
- I have my rights!Copy !req
1223. I have my rights!
I was Callahan!Copy !req
1224. - There is no us.Copy !req
1225. - What?
- Not anymore.Copy !req
1226. - Hey.
- Oh, that's kind of unfair!Copy !req
1227. - Hey.
- You're wrong.Copy !req
1228. - I'm going to go get a shirt.Copy !req
1229. - Oh, look.Copy !req
1230. It's Little Man Tate, how cute.Copy !req
1231. - Dad, can we eat in the car?Copy !req
1232. - Uh, can I get you another rootbeer, anything else, more rings?Copy !req
1233. - Um, uh, we're out
of toilet paper.Copy !req
1234. I'm going to go into town.Copy !req
1235. - Hey, anybody for Gnip Gnop,
Sorry!Copy !req
1236. Or something like that?
- Hey, uh, come on.Copy !req
1237. Let's go into Twin Lake
putt-putt.Copy !req
1238. - Anybody seem my
Sergeant Spike, uh, comics?Copy !req
1239. Uh, somebody want to watch
"Mannequin" with me again?Copy !req
1240. - "Super Mannequin."Copy !req
1241. Hey, don't play with
the remote-control dog.Copy !req
1242. - You want something?
- I can pick you off from here.Copy !req
1243. - No.Copy !req
1244. - Could you do a little scene
from Shakespeare for us?Copy !req
1245. It's getting kind of boring.Copy !req
1246. - Ooh, Sergeant Spike
and Leather Woman.Copy !req
1247. Whoa, Harry Connick's
girlfriend.Copy !req
1248. - Yeah.
- Ooh!Copy !req
1249. Super Harry Connick's
girlfriend.Copy !req
1250. - Yeah.Copy !req
1251. - I, um...Copy !req
1252. - Ran out of checkered shirts.Copy !req
1253. - ... thought I'd try and hitch
a ride back east.Copy !req
1254. - Um, like, I was wondering,
could —Copy !req
1255. could I play some
of your Bread records?Copy !req
1256. - Look, I, uh, really want
to get throughCopy !req
1257. this Richie Rich comic book
so, uh...Copy !req
1258. - There's probably some traffic
on the road.Copy !req
1259. - Traffic?
It's after the apocalypse.Copy !req
1260. - All right.Copy !req
1261. Get in, but don't mess up
the comic books.Copy !req
1262. - I could find work.
- It's after the apocalypse.Copy !req
1263. Nobody's hiring.Copy !req
1264. - Did I come at a bad time?Copy !req
1265. - Hold me closer, tiny dancer.Copy !req
1266. - I'll have a company.Copy !req
1267. I'll have a town.Copy !req
1268. - Roar of the grease paint,
smell of the crowd.Copy !req
1269. - Well, we can all see
he's toned, tan, and terrific.Copy !req
1270. - This is boring.
Let's get out of here.Copy !req
1271. Hey, how about I got a good one?Copy !req
1272. Super Dana Andrews
and Velvet Woman.Copy !req
1273. - Oh, that's not half bad.
- Super Sim Cattrall Woman.Copy !req
1274. - Super Sim Cattrall?Copy !req
1275. - Easy does it with 12-step Man!
- Yeah!Copy !req
1276. - The Middle-Aged Boy.Copy !req
1277. - And the incredible adventures
of Bobby Van LukeCopy !req
1278. and his radioactive
sweater-vest.Copy !req
1279. - Madame Bovary Man.Copy !req
1280. - Uh, are up to 85 yet?
- Oh, did I say, "Fantastic 85"?Copy !req
1281. - Yeah.
- I meant Fantastic 185!Copy !req
1282. - Yes!
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
1283. Perfect Paul and his magnetic
spleen, he has only one flaw.Copy !req
1284. - The Girl Who Smells
Like Soda Crackers.Copy !req
1285. - Uncle Roger,
the Airline Steward Man.Copy !req
1286. - Porter Wagner!Copy !req
1287. - Don't you mean
Super Porter Wagner?Copy !req
1288. - No!
- Wow.Copy !req
1289. - Super Fanny Brice.
- The Clam.Copy !req
1290. - Steak Face and Weasel Woman.
- Dr. DoorknobCopy !req
1291. and his incredible
electromagnetic thing.Copy !req
1292. - Yeah!
- Uh, we have commercial sign.Copy !req
1293. - Skinny Arbuckle.Copy !req
1294. - But you should run on ahead.
We'll be there. Ah.Copy !req
1295. - Burger Chef,
he's incrediburgible.Copy !req
1296. - Ah.
- Larry King.Copy !req
1297. - Just like Larry King?
- He'd need a really good guest.Copy !req
1298. - What are you doing?Copy !req
1299. - How about
Johnny Action Finger?Copy !req
1300. - Ooh, that's...
- That's a good one.Copy !req
1301. - Oh.
- I'm going back.Copy !req
1302. - He says he's going back.Copy !req
1303. Are you going to go alone?Copy !req
1304. - Maybe.
- If I have to.Copy !req
1305. - I'll go.
- From now on,Copy !req
1306. call me Loren Green.Copy !req
1307. - Richie?
- Come again?Copy !req
1308. - You got ideas, Lee?
- Nope.Copy !req
1309. - Yeah, I got lots
of ideas, Mick.Copy !req
1310. - He's got his goggles on.Copy !req
1311. - Hey, uh, let me, uh,
let me in on it.Copy !req
1312. What's going on?
- Well, let's do it.Copy !req
1313. - Neat, huh?
- "Eye of the Tiger,"Copy !req
1314. ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
1315. - Oh, suddenly
it's "Flashdance."Copy !req
1316. - Oh, no, no, it's more like
"Animal House,"Copy !req
1317. and it's going to say, "Eat me,"on the side of that thing,Copy !req
1318. on a cake.Copy !req
1319. - Oh, behave.
- Sorry.Copy !req
1320. - I'm putting streamers
on my handlebars.Copy !req
1321. Cool.Copy !req
1322. - I'm putting cards
in my spokes.Copy !req
1323. - Action figures sold
separately.Copy !req
1324. - Hurt the children.
- Oh, sorry,Copy !req
1325. I was gone too long.Copy !req
1326. - Got that nitrous for you, Mr. Earl Jones, coming right up.Copy !req
1327. - And this is me
with Anthony Zerbe.Copy !req
1328. It's a film.Copy !req
1329. Oh, it's like "MacGyver,"
isn't it? Hmm?Copy !req
1330. - Oh, I was just stalking her.
It's okay, really.Copy !req
1331. - Hey, look,
Archie Bunker's chair.Copy !req
1332. - Huh.Copy !req
1333. - Say, Lee...Copy !req
1334. - Yeah?
- I got to ask you a question.Copy !req
1335. - What's sand for?
- That car, is it yours?Copy !req
1336. - No, it's — it's Albert's.Copy !req
1337. - Uh, Lee, uh,
Billy was wondering...Copy !req
1338. - Why'd you take this role?Copy !req
1339. - ... how the hell
did he get it in here?Copy !req
1340. - The car was here first.
- Cadillac.Copy !req
1341. - Get it?
- Hmm?Copy !req
1342. - Doh!Copy !req
1343. - Hmm, hmm
- Oh, Rosey Grier.Copy !req
1344. - Oh, not every man who sews
is Rosey Grier.Copy !req
1345. - Oh, needlepoint.Copy !req
1346. - It's crazy.Copy !req
1347. - The New Power Generation!
- Whoo!Copy !req
1348. - Whoo!
- Hello, Cheryl!Copy !req
1349. And introducing
Gunther Gebel-Williams.Copy !req
1350. - It's "Jem"!
Ooh!Copy !req
1351. - Now, has everyone gone potty?Copy !req
1352. We're not stopping.Copy !req
1353. - Let's go!
- Come on!Copy !req
1354. Malcolm Forbes
is waiting for us!Copy !req
1355. Let's go!
- Whoo!Copy !req
1356. You know, if you've got kids
that ride hogs,Copy !req
1357. you're going to have stains.Copy !req
1358. - Hey, don't laugh.
It's paid for.Copy !req
1359. - Bulletproof Vespas...Copy !req
1360. - Yes.
- ... in color.Copy !req
1361. Moo. Get me down.Copy !req
1362. - Whoa!Copy !req
1363. - Hey, Suzanne Somers
was in that!Copy !req
1364. - Hey, they brought
a biffy with them.Copy !req
1365. - Smart.Copy !req
1366. - Yeah.
- Bruce Jenner!Copy !req
1367. - He's got a Picasso
boob platter on.Copy !req
1368. - Huh?
- Kind of does, doesn't he?Copy !req
1369. - These comic books
are getting kind of silly.Copy !req
1370. - Hey, do you hear something?Copy !req
1371. - Something
wacky this way comes.Copy !req
1372. - Oh.Copy !req
1373. - Hey, it's the...
- Shut up!Copy !req
1374. - ... Sunday night mystery —Copy !req
1375. - Stop it.
- Oh, look.Copy !req
1376. It's Sonny Corleone's
last destination.Copy !req
1377. - They broke my booth.Copy !req
1378. - That's the same scene
as before, rip-off!Copy !req
1379. - Yep.Copy !req
1380. - It's like he wants to order
a pizza but doesn't dare.Copy !req
1381. Oh, you never want to have fun.Copy !req
1382. - This is great.Copy !req
1383. This is my James Earl Jones
books on tape.Copy !req
1384. - Hey, there's a dumpster
following them.Copy !req
1385. - Hmm.
- Ooh.Copy !req
1386. - Hey, it's Steve Guttenberg
in "Don't Tell Her It's Me."Copy !req
1387. - Sounds like U2 is playing
on the roof.Copy !req
1388. - Still haven't found
what they're looking for.Copy !req
1389. - Mnh-mnh.Copy !req
1390. - Oh, you're coming up
for this scene, Norton.Copy !req
1391. - Oh, yikes. It smells like
a sewer down there.Copy !req
1392. - Then came boredom.
- Michael Parks.Copy !req
1393. - Oh, he should've thought
of that earlier.Copy !req
1394. - Still got that rash?Copy !req
1395. - Hey, they broke another gate!
- No.Copy !req
1396. - Steven Seagal is
"Out for Justice."Copy !req
1397. - Switcher!Copy !req
1398. - Uh, sorry.Copy !req
1399. I was looking for Soc 101.
- Taking over.Copy !req
1400. - You ain't doing nothing.Copy !req
1401. - Ooh.
- Ah, what a strict teacher.Copy !req
1402. - Yeah.Copy !req
1403. - Huh.Copy !req
1404. - Thank you, Albert.Copy !req
1405. - So sorry, Uncle Albert.Copy !req
1406. - Ha ha. Works every time.
- Ah, ah.Copy !req
1407. - I hope you enjoyed
the Don GallowayCopy !req
1408. exhibit here
at Universal Tour.Copy !req
1409. On your left is the studio
for the new "Adam-12."Copy !req
1410. - Let's go!
Get in the truck!Copy !req
1411. - Oh, no!
It's terrible!Copy !req
1412. They're picking off
Gorton's fisherman!Copy !req
1413. - Come on!Copy !req
1414. - Between classes
at inner-city schools.Copy !req
1415. - Let's go!
Got things to do!Copy !req
1416. - Uh, we've decided to move
the scene back inside.Copy !req
1417. Thanks. Your cooperation will
be appreciated.Copy !req
1418. - The cheese phone is back,
and it's red and angry.Copy !req
1419. - Ooh, looks like they had
to move the deskCopy !req
1420. to shampoo the rug.
- Hmm.Copy !req
1421. - Hello?
- Hello?Copy !req
1422. Why won't anyone do a scene
with me?Copy !req
1423. - Oh, now it's
"American Hot Wax."Copy !req
1424. - Boy, Days Inn really has
tight security these days.Copy !req
1425. - Hmm.Copy !req
1426. - Pardon me. Excuse me.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
1427. - Oh, got to go.
- Station five.Copy !req
1428. - Excuse me.
- I'll be right with you.Copy !req
1429. - Uh, hi there, black guy.
Hi, white. Hmm? Yellow.Copy !req
1430. - 12.
- Uh-oh, sneaky.Copy !req
1431. - Hey, they're having
an adventure like the Goonies.Copy !req
1432. - Well, looks like the milktruck doesn't stop here anymore.Copy !req
1433. - It's all right!
- Well, it says hereCopy !req
1434. we can earn $2 a day
picking apricots and peaches!Copy !req
1435. - Let me see that handbill.Copy !req
1436. - Yeah!Copy !req
1437. - This way,
out of the movie, this way!Copy !req
1438. - Yeah! Whoo!
- Go! Go!Copy !req
1439. - You know, I just can't
take them seriously anymore.Copy !req
1440. - No, not dressed like that.Copy !req
1441. - If God is in heaven,
he's driving a red Cadillac.Copy !req
1442. - Yeehee.Copy !req
1443. - Whoa, James Earl Jones
brought the cooler, everybody!Copy !req
1444. - Whoo! Whoo!
- Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
1445. - Look, I —
I look stupid.Copy !req
1446. I'm admitting that now.
- Take care of her.Copy !req
1447. - He looks like Santa Bear.Copy !req
1448. - James Earl Jones,
ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
1449. let's give him a big hand.Copy !req
1450. - Darn prop comics got to bring
their stuff everywhere.Copy !req
1451. He's opening for Carrot Top.Copy !req
1452. - I think Michelangelo designed
this scaffolding here.Copy !req
1453. - It's "Stalag 90210."Copy !req
1454. - Oh, I've seen this.Copy !req
1455. This is the end of "Planes,
Trains, and Automobiles."Copy !req
1456. - Oh.
- Hmm.Copy !req
1457. - Thank you for calling Days Inn.Copy !req
1458. - Look, Smithers.
I'm Davy Crockett.Copy !req
1459. - Hoo hoo hoo.Copy !req
1460. - Mr. Goodwrench, no!Copy !req
1461. - That's a bad wrench
right there.Copy !req
1462. - What's in the box?Copy !req
1463. - You needed that huge
trunk for that?Copy !req
1464. - Well, one good thing
about the apocalypse —Copy !req
1465. always plenty of parking.Copy !req
1466. - I still look great.Copy !req
1467. I do.Copy !req
1468. - Huh?Copy !req
1469. Hey, you want to let us in
on your little personal joke?Copy !req
1470. - Oh, they get to play
in the cistern.Copy !req
1471. - Hey, now everybody remember
where we parked.Copy !req
1472. - The geometric nucleus.Copy !req
1473. - Okay.Copy !req
1474. Everybody who's going
to ride with me, hop in.Copy !req
1475. - Okay.
We're at the last rest stopCopy !req
1476. before the end of our careers.Copy !req
1477. - Oh, that's dirty pool!
- Yeah.Copy !req
1478. - If I knew what was going on,
I'd really be indignant.Copy !req
1479. - Oh, we'll just
let ourselves in.Copy !req
1480. - Ow!
- Thank you!Copy !req
1481. - What's going on?Copy !req
1482. - Aah!
- Get the guns, get the guns!Copy !req
1483. - Whoo!
- Look out!Copy !req
1484. - Oh, I'm being beat up
by the castCopy !req
1485. of "Pirates of Penzance"!
- Rex Smith.Copy !req
1486. - Ugh!Copy !req
1487. - Once, I shot an elephant
in my pajamas.Copy !req
1488. - Ohh.Copy !req
1489. - Oh, now we're in "The Man from
U.N.C.L.E." all of a sudden.Copy !req
1490. - Open channel D.Copy !req
1491. - Ooh.Copy !req
1492. - Heimlich maneuver?
What good is that?Copy !req
1493. - And that's for not keeping
me up on script changes!Copy !req
1494. Sorry.
- Can it.Copy !req
1495. - Hello, Helen.
- Oh, hi.Copy !req
1496. I was just launching
1,000 ships.Copy !req
1497. - It's the villain
from "Jonny Quest"!Copy !req
1498. - Nice.Copy !req
1499. Bandit in you.Copy !req
1500. Right, Hadji.Copy !req
1501. - I'm sure.
That's so mean.Copy !req
1502. - Patew, patew, patew!Copy !req
1503. Badado!Copy !req
1504. Scott Baio, no, no!Copy !req
1505. - Kim, no!
That's it.Copy !req
1506. - Kilroy and Killjoy.Copy !req
1507. - Huh?
Incoming model.Copy !req
1508. - Ooh.
- Ooh.Copy !req
1509. Jim Henson's Flying
Leatherneck Babies.Copy !req
1510. - Hey, he's whistling
the Roger Ramjet song.Copy !req
1511. Shazam!Copy !req
1512. - Hmm.Copy !req
1513. - Hey, sounds like John Mayall
just arrived.Copy !req
1514. - Doh!
- Gilligan!Copy !req
1515. - There goes another one.
- Come on, you sons of bitches.Copy !req
1516. I'll shoot you down myself.Copy !req
1517. - Tick, tick,
tick, tick, tick, 182!Copy !req
1518. - Aah!
- Huh, death with dignity, huh?Copy !req
1519. Ugh, pieces of him.Copy !req
1520. - This is F-U-N.Copy !req
1521. - I'm a prince!
I'm a Grimault warrior!Copy !req
1522. - Uh...Copy !req
1523. See you next summer.Copy !req
1524. - Carver.Copy !req
1525. - Raymond Carver, if we don't
save him, minimalism is doomed!Copy !req
1526. - Don't I get a girl?
Geez.Copy !req
1527. They just shot one
of the movement-shots guys!Copy !req
1528. - No!Copy !req
1529. - Point break, 100 percent
pure adrenaline.Copy !req
1530. - Oh, look, great.Copy !req
1531. Now they're being attacked
by The Wooster Group.Copy !req
1532. - All right, Benson.Copy !req
1533. What the heck have you been
doing in this movie?Copy !req
1534. - If you eliminate me,Copy !req
1535. somebody just like me
or even worse will follow.Copy !req
1536. - One of the Carradine boys?
- Okay.Copy !req
1537. I was in "Ice Castles."
I admit it.Copy !req
1538. - I'm inevitable.Copy !req
1539. - Ugh.
- Oh! Oh, yes!Copy !req
1540. I'm going to want
that every night.Copy !req
1541. - No.Copy !req
1542. - Ooh, this desk jobs
will just kill you.Copy !req
1543. - Smucker's jelly.Copy !req
1544. If you could taste
Robby Benson...Copy !req
1545. - Mm, on toast.Copy !req
1546. - So the kids threw Sunya outCopy !req
1547. and took over the running
of things themselves.Copy !req
1548. - Our T-bills are okay! Yay!
- Yay!Copy !req
1549. - The Clippers and DAs
were joined,Copy !req
1550. and the city was
in the hands of its own,Copy !req
1551. and the kids born there
and grown up there...Copy !req
1552. - ... would make it work
for themselves.Copy !req
1553. - Hey, I hope your leather mug
stand works out for you.Copy !req
1554. Huzzah.Copy !req
1555. - Hey, even the band
is vomiting.Copy !req
1556. - Bleh, bleh.
- ♪ Bleh, bleh, blehCopy !req
1557. - "Darrell Larson is Mick."Copy !req
1558. Does that mean the movie isgoing to go on since he is Mick?Copy !req
1559. - I don't know.Copy !req
1560. John Stockwell is Lee.
- No, is Lame.Copy !req
1561. - Lame. Mm.Copy !req
1562. - Kim Cattrall is
all right with me.Copy !req
1563. - Rae Dawn Chong is wasted.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1564. - John Diehl is dangerous
to himself and others.Copy !req
1565. - Yeah, that's my name.
That's my name.Copy !req
1566. You see?
- Put it right there.Copy !req
1567. Put it right there.Copy !req
1568. - Don Opper is ashamed of
himself for writing the script.Copy !req
1569. - And Norbert Weisser pleaded
bolo contendereCopy !req
1570. for having participated
in this film.Copy !req
1571. - Frankie, my dear,
I don't give a damn.Copy !req
1572. - What you call hell
Ramos calls home.Copy !req
1573. - Dean Devlin is —
was Michelle Shocked.Copy !req
1574. - Mm-hmm.
- ♪ Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, owCopy !req
1575. - Oh, I don't know
how special this was.Copy !req
1576. - I don't think so.
No, no, no.Copy !req
1577. - I know I've done better.Copy !req
1578. Look, you can't pay the rent
doing August Wilson plays.Copy !req
1579. So can we leave now,
Joel, please?Copy !req
1580. - Uh, no, I think you realize
we haveCopy !req
1581. to stay through the closing —
- Is that a law or something?Copy !req
1582. - Well, it kind of is.
It's a mad-scientist thing.Copy !req
1583. - Oh.-Oh, no argument there, I guess.Copy !req
1584. Can't do much about that.Copy !req
1585. - Yeah, pretty much
just got to cope.Copy !req
1586. - Yep.
What are you going to do?Copy !req
1587. - No problem with that?
- Oh, I guess it's okay.Copy !req
1588. I guess we'll just kind of stickaround here.Copy !req
1589. Do we have to sit through these?-Oh, can we just please leave?Copy !req
1590. - Oh, I hate this.Copy !req
1591. - Word up, blood.
Hey, homie.Copy !req
1592. - See, I was right.
- ♪ This movie is lousyCopy !req
1593. - Hey, shut your mouth!Copy !req
1594. - I'm just talking about
"City Limits," Crow.Copy !req
1595. - Well, we can —Well, we can't dig it, actually.Copy !req
1596. - Ah. Okay.
- Luck, be a lady.Copy !req
1597. - Two.
- Uh, okay.Copy !req
1598. Um, uh...Copy !req
1599. - This way?
- Yeah, no, that way.Copy !req
1600. - Oh, okay.
- Uh, no, that way! Yeah.Copy !req
1601. - Oh, okay.
- No, the other way!Copy !req
1602. - Roll again. Roll again.
Okay.Copy !req
1603. - Daddy needs a new pair
of hydraulic talons.Copy !req
1604. - Okay. All right.
- Joel, is there a point to thisCopy !req
1605. little "City Limits"
trivia game here?Copy !req
1606. - Well, uh, the "City Limits"
trivia gameCopy !req
1607. was actually one of
the many promotional itemsCopy !req
1608. when the film
came out in theaters,Copy !req
1609. and, uh, they had lots of stuff.Copy !req
1610. They had this trivia game.Copy !req
1611. They had "City Limits"
beefy-Ts.Copy !req
1612. They had "City Limits" eyewear.Copy !req
1613. They even had a "City Limits"
32-ounceCopy !req
1614. promotional glass at Subway.
It was the whole everything.Copy !req
1615. - Come on, Joel!
Roll them bones!Copy !req
1616. - Okay!
All right.Copy !req
1617. - Well, you see, the problem
with a trivia game hereCopy !req
1618. is that I don't remember
anything from this experiment,Copy !req
1619. I mean, nothing, uh,
just didn't stick with me.Copy !req
1620. I — I mean, I even forget
what, uh,Copy !req
1621. we're talking about right now.
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
1622. Come on! Yes! roll again!
Roll again!Copy !req
1623. - Okay! Sure.
- Luck, be a lady tonight.Copy !req
1624. - You are in Clipper territory,
Crow,Copy !req
1625. and I draw
a James Earl Jones card.Copy !req
1626. - Uh...
- In the movie "City Limits,"Copy !req
1627. Crow, Rae Dawn Chong's
character's name was A, Yogi,Copy !req
1628. B, Yoda, C, Yo-yo?Copy !req
1629. - Uh... who?
- Huh?Copy !req
1630. - Rae Dawn Chong,
she was in the movie.Copy !req
1631. - Rae Dawn — Rae... hmm?
- No, no.Copy !req
1632. - No. Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, it's not ringing a bell.Copy !req
1633. Was she the black guy
with a beard?Copy !req
1634. - Yeah.
- Oh, come on, Tom.Copy !req
1635. You do the next one.
Okay. Here is one.Copy !req
1636. Okay.
It's your turn, Tom.Copy !req
1637. - All right.
- In the movie "City Limits"...Copy !req
1638. - Huh? Huh?
- ... Tom...Copy !req
1639. - Yeah.Copy !req
1640. - ... what was the name
of the movie?Copy !req
1641. - Oh.
- Aw, gee, seems likeCopy !req
1642. I ought to know this one.Copy !req
1643. Um, uh, "Swiss Family Robinson"?Copy !req
1644. - Mnh-mnh.
- "The Robe"?Copy !req
1645. - Uh, "Helter Skelter"?
"Switch"?Copy !req
1646. Jimmy Smits?Copy !req
1647. - No, no, no, no.
- Let's read a letter.Copy !req
1648. How about it, okay?
- That sounds...Copy !req
1649. - Let's put this up
on still store.Copy !req
1650. You got that there?
Okay.Copy !req
1651. This is from Joseph Jurich
of Chicago, Illinois.Copy !req
1652. He writes, "'MST 3000,'Copy !req
1653. I would like to join your
Information Club. Thank you."Copy !req
1654. - Uh-huh, terse, concise,
we like that.Copy !req
1655. - Okay. We got another one here.
- Keep it up.Copy !req
1656. - Sure.
- Put that up on still store.Copy !req
1657. And this one is from
Billy Jensen.Copy !req
1658. "Dear 'MTS'"...Copy !req
1659. - Wrong!
- Unh-unh.Copy !req
1660. - ..."I like your show
because I like to laugh and —Copy !req
1661. at lots of jokes.Copy !req
1662. I'm sort of a comedian
and a cartoonist."Copy !req
1663. - A raconteur.
- "Here's a joke."Copy !req
1664. - Say...
- "Point to your head"...Copy !req
1665. - That'd be you, Joel.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1666. - ..."and say the abbreviation
of mountain."Copy !req
1667. - Uh, MT.Copy !req
1668. - Yeah.
- Oh.Copy !req
1669. - Get it?
- That's very logical, Billy.Copy !req
1670. That's really cute.
- Okay.Copy !req
1671. "Here's another joke.Copy !req
1672. What would you say
to a two-headed monster?"Copy !req
1673. Crow?Copy !req
1674. - Um, puh, got me.Copy !req
1675. - Hi, hi.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
1676. - Okay. That's cute, Billy.
- Good, Billy.Copy !req
1677. Keep it up.Copy !req
1678. - Polish the end
of the act there.Copy !req
1679. - All right.
- Yes.Copy !req
1680. - Oh, do you want to say
the M —Copy !req
1681. - Oh, I'll say the address now.Copy !req
1682. It's, uh, send your lettersto the "MST3K" Information Club,Copy !req
1683. Post Office Box 5325,
Hopkins, Minnesota, 55343,Copy !req
1684. but be careful
when you send jokes, okay?Copy !req
1685. - Oh, I got it.
- What do you think, sirs?Copy !req
1686. - Well, Siegfried & Roy, uh...Copy !req
1687. What?
- Did I mention that I cried?Copy !req
1688. - Yes, you've mentioned
that you —Copy !req
1689. Frank, take him out!Copy !req
1690. - Come here, suedehead.Copy !req
1691. - Until next time, Joel.Copy !req
1692. - Aah!Copy !req