1. - Oh, come on Gypsy!Copy !req
2. I can't hold this position
forever, I'm cramping!Copy !req
3. Hurry up!Copy !req
4. - All right, next time Gypsy
does the special effectsCopy !req
5. and I'll direct.Copy !req
6. - Quiet on the set!Copy !req
7. In this scene Crow, you're a young girlCopy !req
8. and you climbed up on a stack of boxesCopy !req
9. containing highly flammable pajamas.Copy !req
10. Okay, action!Copy !req
11. - Make 'em hot, fire 'em up!Copy !req
12. - Hi, everybody.Copy !req
13. Welcome to the Satellite of LoveCopy !req
14. I've allowed the bots
to tape a spontaneousCopy !req
15. funny home video for America's
Goofiest Home Videos.Copy !req
16. So here's to risking your lifeCopy !req
17. in the interest of some
national tv exposure.Copy !req
18. - Let's go.Copy !req
19. - Hey, where's Magic Voice?Copy !req
20. - Ah, she walked off the set.Copy !req
21. She's sulking in her trailer.Copy !req
22. - Quiet, stay in character, Crow!Copy !req
23. You're a three year old girl
on a box of flammable pajamas!Copy !req
24. Start acting like it!Copy !req
25. Get up with the fire, Tom.Copy !req
26. - Fire in the hole!Copy !req
27. - I- I changed my mind!Copy !req
28. - Whoo!Copy !req
29. - Oh, God, I'm on fire,
what a world, what a world—Copy !req
30. - No, it's you all right, Crow.Copy !req
31. - Oh, okay, let's watch the tape,Copy !req
32. see how it turned out, okay?Copy !req
33. Go ahead.Copy !req
34. You're right, that's pretty funny.Copy !req
35. That's great.Copy !req
36. Now, how are you feeling about your arm?Copy !req
37. It's all gnarled, I can make
you a new one if you like.Copy !req
38. - Nah, I- I- I- like it
all gnarled like that.Copy !req
39. It looks real tough.Copy !req
40. - Tough, uh, okay, well,
the mads are calling.Copy !req
41. - Ah, it does my heart good to see CrowCopy !req
42. burned beyond all recognition.Copy !req
43. Oh, Frank, it's time to rebuildCopy !req
44. this week's invention exchange.Copy !req
45. Oh, accept the pain, Frank.Copy !req
46. You've heard the expression
"That's a hard pill to swallow."Copy !req
47. Well, our invention exchange
this week is just that,Copy !req
48. some hard pills to swallow.Copy !req
49. You see this pill right here?Copy !req
50. That should be easy to swallow,
shouldn't it, Frank, yes?Copy !req
51. It should be easy except
for the three-prongedCopy !req
52. fish hook attached to it.Copy !req
53. Uh, this pill, I'm not gonna kid you,Copy !req
54. this is very difficult to swallow.Copy !req
55. It's a not-so-tiny time pill, completeCopy !req
56. with a living gerbil.Copy !req
57. - Terry, no!Copy !req
58. - Terry, yes.Copy !req
59. If you can keep it down you have a petCopy !req
60. that knows you inside and out.Copy !req
61. Turn, Frank, then cough.Copy !req
62. If you have trouble keeping one pill downCopy !req
63. then try our pill necklace of picric acid.Copy !req
64. 105 capsules on a string,
keep your gag reflexCopy !req
65. active till the cows come home.Copy !req
66. The longer it takes to
swallow the harder it gets.Copy !req
67. Yes, and the
children, the children love—Copy !req
68. - The children—Copy !req
69. - Vitamin shapes.Copy !req
70. Shapes like cartoons, whimsical shapes.Copy !req
71. Whimsical shapes, and wouldn't it be hardCopy !req
72. on all those Flintstone
kids if their favoriteCopy !req
73. cartoon vitamin came—Copy !req
74. Turn, Frank—Copy !req
75. Lifesized, hum, hum?Copy !req
76. The ball's in your court, Joel.Copy !req
77. - Well, that is dark, sirs.Copy !req
78. Well, anyway, we've gotten togetherCopy !req
79. and come up with this
celebrity home appliances.Copy !req
80. Like this, the Emilio Esta-pez.Copy !req
81. Just lift his head and out comes real Pez.Copy !req
82. - Hey, tastes like real chalk!Copy !req
83. - Like I said, real Pez.Copy !req
84. Hey, check it out.Copy !req
85. Here's Tom Servo modeling
the Jimmy, JJ, Walker.Copy !req
86. - Keep me walking,Copy !req
87. standing upright, turns an
ordinary stroll in dy-no-mite!Copy !req
88. - Hey, go on the Sullivan show and getCopy !req
89. canned with this, your
own Jackie Mason jar.Copy !req
90. Who's lifting my top?Copy !req
91. A gentile would do it differently?Copy !req
92. He's lifting my top, it would
be the thrill of his life.Copy !req
93. A Jewish man would life the top and say,Copy !req
94. "Oy, vey, I'm Jewish.Copy !req
95. "I'm canning tomatoes,
I don't understand it,Copy !req
96. "I got a Mason jar."Copy !req
97. - And finally, massage a friend with this,Copy !req
98. the Charlie Callas massager.Copy !req
99. What do you think, sirs?Copy !req
100. - I think you die, Joel.Copy !req
101. Well, your experiment this week is goingCopy !req
102. to be hard to keep down.Copy !req
103. It's called The Unearthly and it starsCopy !req
104. John Carradine and Tor Johnson,
plus two stinky shorts.Copy !req
105. Frank, shut up!Copy !req
106. Enjoy!Copy !req
107. - Avis films, we try harder.Copy !req
108. - I think he's still
smoldering over there.Copy !req
109. - Hey, it's Whistler's Mother.Copy !req
110. - I am Whistler's mother.Copy !req
111. The story you are about to see is true.Copy !req
112. No names were changed,
because no one was innocent.Copy !req
113. - My name's Sally, I'm a snackoholic.Copy !req
114. - Hi, Sally.Copy !req
115. - Every class at Valley SchoolCopy !req
116. is taking a posture test.Copy !req
117. Each girl—Copy !req
118. And boy stands behind the screen—Copy !req
119. - It's Puddin' Head.Copy !req
120. - A sharp clear
shadow for everyone to see.Copy !req
121. You can see that this boy needs help.Copy !req
122. - He's a loser and the
kids let him know it.Copy !req
123. - Thank you, next!Copy !req
124. - The teacher,
Miss Martin, draws a pictureCopy !req
125. of each girl and boy.Copy !req
126. - She's weird, which
results in creativity.Copy !req
127. - Then she shows what is wrongCopy !req
128. when a child does not
stand straight and tall.Copy !req
129. - It's Imogene Coca!Copy !req
130. - Miss Martin asks the classCopy !req
131. to remember four important
things about posture,Copy !req
132. and these four children are especiallyCopy !req
133. interested in the four important things.Copy !req
134. - 'Cause they're on the payroll.Copy !req
135. - First, good healthCopy !req
136. helps you have good posture.Copy !req
137. Tommy understands this, because
he wants to be an athlete.Copy !req
138. He knows that good health habitsCopy !req
139. are very important to an athlete.Copy !req
140. - Amazing physique for an eight-year old.Copy !req
141. - Second, good postureCopy !req
142. keeps you from being tired.Copy !req
143. When you stand off
balance, like this house,Copy !req
144. your muscles must work hard to keep youCopy !req
145. from falling over.Copy !req
146. - I like her.Copy !req
147. - Jimmy likes to build things,Copy !req
148. so he understands that standing—Copy !req
149. - Yes, yes, heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
150. - Like a
tall, strong building.Copy !req
151. - Like a Spartan god.Copy !req
152. - Third,
it is important to haveCopy !req
153. the habit of good posture.Copy !req
154. Your body is like a growing tree.Copy !req
155. - With Dutch elm disease.Copy !req
156. - Jane loves trees.Copy !req
157. She knows that a young
tree must be kept straightCopy !req
158. so it will grow tall and beautiful.Copy !req
159. - Don't you, Jane.Copy !req
160. - Jane!Copy !req
161. - Jane!Copy !req
162. - The larch.Copy !req
163. - Fourth, the way you lookCopy !req
164. can depend upon your posture.Copy !req
165. When you slump you look tired and unhappyCopy !req
166. but when you stand tall you
look cheerful and bright.Copy !req
167. - Like a man!Copy !req
168. - Mary understands this.Copy !req
169. Mary wants to be an actress.Copy !req
170. She knows that an actress must standCopy !req
171. straight and tall to
look beautiful and happy.Copy !req
172. - Thank you, thank you very much.Copy !req
173. I'm wearing a lovely pantsuit.Copy !req
174. - Miss Martin tells the classCopy !req
175. that someday soon—Copy !req
176. - She'll be married.Copy !req
177. - After the next posture test,Copy !req
178. they will choose a
king, a queen, a prince,Copy !req
179. and a princess of posture.Copy !req
180. The two boys and the two
girls with the best posturesCopy !req
181. will wear these posture crowns.Copy !req
182. - Yeah, they'll go to Burger
King and get crappy hats.Copy !req
183. - Tommy,
Jimmy, Jane, and Mary—Copy !req
184. - Hm, she's hot.Copy !req
185. - Are very
interested in this announcement.Copy !req
186. - Hey, who wouldn't be?Copy !req
187. - So, when class is overCopy !req
188. they decide to take a close lookCopy !req
189. at their posture drawings.Copy !req
190. - That's when the kids
came up with the planCopy !req
191. to blackmail Mrs. Reedy.Copy !req
192. - But they are
not happy with what they see.Copy !req
193. - They're disgusted and
filled with self-loathing.Copy !req
194. - Uh, no, no, uh-uh.Copy !req
195. - He didn't
know his chest looked flatCopy !req
196. because his tummy looks so round.Copy !req
197. - He's got VPL.Copy !req
198. - Joel!Copy !req
199. - Now Jimmy is disturbed—Copy !req
200. - Uh-uh, no, not do it,
it ain't gonna work,Copy !req
201. it's not flying with me, Pops.Copy !req
202. - Out of balance,Copy !req
203. just like a house about to fall.Copy !req
204. - Just like his dad on Friday night.Copy !req
205. - And what gives
Jane her worried frown?Copy !req
206. - Valium?Copy !req
207. - Look at the board.Copy !req
208. It's plain to seeCopy !req
209. that Jane must practice standing straightCopy !req
210. to grow up like a lovely tree.Copy !req
211. - Oh, all of a sudden it's
iambic pentameter, here.Copy !req
212. - Our Mary
is a happy girl, so she—Copy !req
213. - Sorry.Copy !req
214. - With hollow
chest and tired head.Copy !req
215. - She should just go home to bed.Copy !req
216. - Green eggs and ham.Copy !req
217. - You Sam I Am?Copy !req
218. - Miss Martin
sees that the childrenCopy !req
219. are especially interested so she offersCopy !req
220. to help them improve their positions.Copy !req
221. First she shows them the importanceCopy !req
222. of good foot position.Copy !req
223. - Uh, Miss Martin has a littleCopy !req
224. too much free time on her hands.Copy !req
225. - Toes point straight forward.Copy !req
226. - There's no place like
home, no place like home.Copy !req
227. - The weight of
the body is equally dividedCopy !req
228. on the heel and ball of both feet.Copy !req
229. - Goal to go, go ...Copy !req
230. Eyes are straight—Copy !req
231. - The arms swing easily at the sides.Copy !req
232. - Here she reenacts her first DUI.Copy !req
233. - Get up, come over here.Copy !req
234. - In a good standing position,Copy !req
235. back is straight, you stretch tall.Copy !req
236. Arms are easy at the
sides, eyes straight ahead,Copy !req
237. shoulders relaxed.Copy !req
238. - And you truck like the Doo-Dah Man.Copy !req
239. - Oh, his chips cashed in.Copy !req
240. - In good sitting positionCopy !req
241. both feet are flat on the floor.Copy !req
242. - Assuming they reach the floor.Copy !req
243. - Hips are well
back against the chair,Copy !req
244. head is high, forearms and
hands are relaxed on the desk.Copy !req
245. - Pelvis, what about the pelvis?Copy !req
246. - Pelvis!Copy !req
247. - Miss Martin
suggests that TommyCopy !req
248. and Jimmy and Jane and
Mary be posture palsCopy !req
249. to help one another.Copy !req
250. And she reminds them
of the posture contest.Copy !req
251. - The children
do help one another.Copy !req
252. Jimmy helps Tommy to keep his tummy in.Copy !req
253. - You have got to be kidding me, Pyle,Copy !req
254. look at that gut!Copy !req
255. - Tommy reminds Jimmy—Copy !req
256. - That's you!Copy !req
257. - When Jimmy
stands off balance.Copy !req
258. - Tears of shame pour down Tommy's face.Copy !req
259. - Miss Martin, Tommy drew a bong.Copy !req
260. - Mary always reminds JaneCopy !req
261. when Jane forgets to
stand straight and tall.Copy !req
262. - Wait a minute, spot
for me honey, will you?Copy !req
263. - Yeah.Copy !req
264. - A playground where
apes evolved from men?Copy !req
265. - And Jane
reminds Mary when MaryCopy !req
266. slumps at her desk.Copy !req
267. - Oh, they're gonna take
this for about a half hourCopy !req
268. before they end up killing each other.Copy !req
269. - Yeah, think so.Copy !req
270. - The children have
other posture pals at home.Copy !req
271. - Mom's dress matches the wallpaper.Copy !req
272. - Night, Hef.Copy !req
273. - Tommy's mother helps himCopy !req
274. to get plenty of sleep.Copy !req
275. - Sleep!Copy !req
276. - And plenty
of good, healthful food,Copy !req
277. so he'll stay healthy and strong.Copy !req
278. - Four food groups, hum.Copy !req
279. - Jimmy's father reminds JimmyCopy !req
280. when he stands off balance.Copy !req
281. An airplane shouldn't stand crooked.Copy !req
282. - Like Daddy on Friday night.Copy !req
283. - So Jimmy remembers
a boy shouldn't either.Copy !req
284. - Nor should he wear
tacky Hawaiian shirts.Copy !req
285. - Jane's father
has a way of remindingCopy !req
286. Jane when she forgets.Copy !req
287. - All right, honey, I'm
gonna kill this treeCopy !req
288. if you don't stand straight.Copy !req
289. - A young plant
shouldn't be bent like that.Copy !req
290. - Then stop doing it!Copy !req
291. - Then Jane remembers,Copy !req
292. - Oh, yeah.Copy !req
293. - A girl shouldn't either.Copy !req
294. - A girl, what?Copy !req
295. - Mary has two
posture pals at her home.Copy !req
296. Mary's mother reminds her not to slumpCopy !req
297. when she's sitting down.Copy !req
298. - It's Ernest Borgnine!Copy !req
299. - Uh, sorry, Mom, Dad, hm.Copy !req
300. - She's cleaning her teeth.Copy !req
301. - And Bombo reminds her that—Copy !req
302. - Bombo!Copy !req
303. - When you slump
you look tired and unhappy.Copy !req
304. - Bombo.Copy !req
305. - Doesn't Bombo look tired?Copy !req
306. - Yes, very much so.Copy !req
307. - Now, you
see it was just because—Copy !req
308. - Oh, no, my spine!Copy !req
309. Auggh!Copy !req
310. - At last
the big day has come.Copy !req
311. The class is taking their
second posture test.Copy !req
312. - Hey, it's Hitchcock.Copy !req
313. - After Slimfast.Copy !req
314. - Miss
Martin is counting votesCopy !req
315. to see who will be the
king, queen, prince,Copy !req
316. and princess of posture.Copy !req
317. - And who'll have a Sealy
Posturepedic childhood.Copy !req
318. - Who did this?Copy !req
319. Did you do this?Copy !req
320. Who did this?Copy !req
321. Who did this!Copy !req
322. - It shouldn't be hardCopy !req
323. for you to guess who wins the votes.Copy !req
324. That's right.Copy !req
325. Mary is elected queen.Copy !req
326. - Fix!Copy !req
327. It's a rig!Copy !req
328. Fix!Copy !req
329. - Now Mary's head is lit on fire.Copy !req
330. - And the other three childrenCopy !req
331. win the other posture crowns.Copy !req
332. - Definitely a fix.Copy !req
333. - Don't you
agree that these fourCopy !req
334. children deserve to win after tryingCopy !req
335. so hard to improve their postures?Copy !req
336. - No.Copy !req
337. - Yes, Tommy
is our posture king,Copy !req
338. while Jimmy is the prince, you see.Copy !req
339. Jane is now the princess fair,Copy !req
340. and Mary is our happy queen.Copy !req
341. - They're the posture posse.Copy !req
342. - These boys
and girls won posture crownsCopy !req
343. by helping one another learn.Copy !req
344. They hope that you will learn from themCopy !req
345. and be a posture pal in turn.Copy !req
346. - Their chances of being
cool are ruined for life.Copy !req
347. - Bye, kids.Copy !req
348. Next week, Posture Polt, in color!Copy !req
349. - Hey, Reuben Hill, you still walkCopy !req
350. the fertile fields of my mind.Copy !req
351. - Professor of Family
Life, that's an easy major.Copy !req
352. - This is the
story of a boy named Tommy.Copy !req
353. And how he learned all—Copy !req
354. - ther do for him.Copy !req
355. This is Tommy's room.Copy !req
356. Can you guess what he's thinking?Copy !req
357. - What a dump!Copy !req
358. - Look how neat
and straight his whole room is.Copy !req
359. - Hmm.Copy !req
360. - Tommy's thinking hardCopy !req
361. because he hasn't done a thing to his roomCopy !req
362. since he left for school this morning,Copy !req
363. and when he left the room
didn't look like this at all.Copy !req
364. - He's in the wrong house!Copy !req
365. - The toys on the shelves,Copy !req
366. bed neatly made, clothes put away.Copy !req
367. No, this morning it looked like this.Copy !req
368. - Had more of a Queen Anne theme to it.Copy !req
369. - Clothes scattered
about, toys on the floor.Copy !req
370. - Beer cans everywhere.Copy !req
371. - Yes, when Tommy
went to school this morningCopy !req
372. he left his room a mess, but now,Copy !req
373. - Right.Copy !req
374. - Everything
is neat and straight.Copy !req
375. - Except for his mind.Copy !req
376. - Now how do
you suppose that happens?Copy !req
377. - What is this crap?Copy !req
378. - And that's not all.Copy !req
379. Yesterday Tommy tore the sleeveCopy !req
380. of his favorite cowboy shirt—Copy !req
381. - In a prison break.Copy !req
382. - Now it's
mended as good as new.Copy !req
383. - Tommy's the lathe of heaven.Copy !req
384. - This
jacket had a button off.Copy !req
385. Now there's a new button.Copy !req
386. - Hmm.Copy !req
387. - And you
know, things of that sortCopy !req
388. don't happen just in Tommy's room.Copy !req
389. They happen all over the house.Copy !req
390. - It's called guilt, and boy does it work.Copy !req
391. - After breakfast this morningCopy !req
392. the kitchen looked like this.Copy !req
393. Then, do you know what happened
while Tommy was in school?Copy !req
394. - Someone stole everything!Copy !req
395. - Yes, the table was cleared,Copy !req
396. the dishes were washed and put away,Copy !req
397. and the whole kitchen was cleaned up.Copy !req
398. - By a woman with no
career outside the house.Copy !req
399. - The same thing happenedCopy !req
400. with the dirty clothes.Copy !req
401. They got washed and ironed
and put away just like magic.Copy !req
402. - Magic's easy once you know mom.Copy !req
403. - And the groceries
that come from the stores.Copy !req
404. Well, see that chicken?Copy !req
405. - Where, where?Copy !req
406. Oh.
- Ooh.Copy !req
407. - When Tommy
sits down to supper.Copy !req
408. - Trumpy, no!Copy !req
409. That reminds me, I gotta go freshen up.Copy !req
410. - Things certainly do happenCopy !req
411. while Tommy's in school.Copy !req
412. Now what does Tommy see?Copy !req
413. - It's Tommy's connection
coming up the walk.Copy !req
414. - Where's he going?Copy !req
415. Oh, here's Tommy's father home from work.Copy !req
416. - Tommy calls many men "dad."Copy !req
417. You look really good, Crow.Copy !req
418. - Hello, Master.Copy !req
419. - Tommy likes
to be with his parents.Copy !req
420. And this evening is a little specialCopy !req
421. for it's the day for Tommy
to receive his allowance.Copy !req
422. - Here's
a penny, happy birthday.Copy !req
423. - Every week his
father comes home with moneyCopy !req
424. for Tommy and for Mother—Copy !req
425. - Yeah, I suppose you can have some, too.Copy !req
426. - Money Father
earns by going out—Copy !req
427. - Here's a dollar,Copy !req
428. go buy yourself something pretty.Copy !req
429. - After supper
the kitchen looks very muchCopy !req
430. as it did after breakfast.Copy !req
431. Do you know who will clean it up?Copy !req
432. - The maid?Copy !req
433. - Tommy knows
that when he gets upCopy !req
434. tomorrow morning everything will be done.Copy !req
435. - So, goodnight,
Father, goodnight, Mother.Copy !req
436. - Goodnight, Oedipus.Copy !req
437. - Goodnight.Copy !req
438. - Sleep!Copy !req
439. - No, help, there's an
announcer under my bed!Copy !req
440. - Now the faces of those he's
wronged flash before his eyes.Copy !req
441. - Whoops, I
almost forgot somethingCopy !req
442. very important.Copy !req
443. - To pay homage to Gorto.Copy !req
444. - He'd better
put the allowance moneyCopy !req
445. in his bank before he forgets.Copy !req
446. - No, you wouldn't want
that penny just sitting out.Copy !req
447. - Say, that's
not very much money.Copy !req
448. - Uh-uh.Copy !req
449. - And there
are shows to go to,Copy !req
450. and that super atomic
airplane to send for.Copy !req
451. - And drink.Copy !req
452. - Well,
there are so many thingsCopy !req
453. a boy likes to have money for.Copy !req
454. - Like play the numbers.Copy !req
455. - Tommy's going downstairs.Copy !req
456. He's going to ask Father if he can't haveCopy !req
457. a little more money every week.Copy !req
458. - But first he straps gophers to his feet.Copy !req
459. - Bye.Copy !req
460. - And Tommy will get to seeCopy !req
461. what Mother and Father do after supper.Copy !req
462. - And what all the yelling's about.Copy !req
463. - Yeah.Copy !req
464. - Mom, Dad—Copy !req
465. Oh, my God, that's disgusting!Copy !req
466. Ew!Copy !req
467. - They're
doing those dirty dishes.Copy !req
468. - Phew!Copy !req
469. - And Mother is telling FatherCopy !req
470. all about the things she
did while he was at work.Copy !req
471. - Well, I isolated that nucleotide today.Copy !req
472. - The first
thing she did this morningCopy !req
473. was to fix up the kitchen.Copy !req
474. - Mom leads a life of quiet desperation.Copy !req
475. - She cleared the
table and washed the dishesCopy !req
476. and put the food away, and
made everything spic and span.Copy !req
477. - While suppressing her own dreams.Copy !req
478. - Then she
went up to Tommy's roomCopy !req
479. to straighten it.Copy !req
480. - As she chokes back
the bile of resentment.Copy !req
481. - There were
train tracks and other toysCopy !req
482. to be picked up and put away.Copy !req
483. There was the bed to be made.Copy !req
484. - And the maid to be bedded.Copy !req
485. - There were clothes to be hung upCopy !req
486. and some would need washing or mending.Copy !req
487. After that Mother started on the ironing.Copy !req
488. - The most satisfying part of her day.Copy !req
489. - Doing the
family washing and ironingCopy !req
490. is a pretty hard job,Copy !req
491. but Mother does it regularly every week.Copy !req
492. - She's in what we call a rut.Copy !req
493. - And the cooking.Copy !req
494. Mother has to have time to
make good, nourishing mealsCopy !req
495. for the whole family.Copy !req
496. - We're having cat today.Copy !req
497. - Tommy's appetite
is getting bigger and bigger.Copy !req
498. - While his brain gets dimmer and dimmer.Copy !req
499. - Later she did the mending.Copy !req
500. There's Tommy's cowboy
shirt and his jacket.Copy !req
501. - He can rejoin the Village People now.Copy !req
502. - Tommy could be
more careful with his clothes.Copy !req
503. - Why should he?Copy !req
504. - Those are
just some of the thingsCopy !req
505. that Mother has to do.Copy !req
506. No wonder she's often tired
at the end of the day.Copy !req
507. - Tired of Tommy.Copy !req
508. - It seems
Mother never stops workingCopy !req
509. for the family.Copy !req
510. - And the man.Copy !req
511. - And what about Father?Copy !req
512. What does he do all day?Copy !req
513. Well, he had a particularly
hard job today.Copy !req
514. - Dad pulls the lever at the Big House.Copy !req
515. - But he did it anyway.Copy !req
516. Because that's the way Father earns money,Copy !req
517. by doing the job.Copy !req
518. - A lousy job.Copy !req
519. - You see,
it is the time he gives,Copy !req
520. the work he does, that he gets money for.Copy !req
521. - Here, we gotta let you go.Copy !req
522. Here's your pink slip.Copy !req
523. Be out of the building by five.Copy !req
524. - Thanks a lot, cheers.Copy !req
525. - And give
Tommy his allowance, too.Copy !req
526. In a way the money is Father's work.Copy !req
527. - Hmm.Copy !req
528. - At home, before supper,Copy !req
529. Father worked on the family budget.Copy !req
530. - Oh, man, we're in trouble, ooh!Copy !req
531. - It isn't easy to figure outCopy !req
532. how best to spend the money.Copy !req
533. Because there are always
so many bills to payCopy !req
534. and so many things the
family wants to buy.Copy !req
535. - Luxuries like shoes and food.Copy !req
536. - Father
repaired a broken chair.Copy !req
537. Fixing things instead of buying new onesCopy !req
538. is a good may to save money.Copy !req
539. Yes, sir, Father and Mother do a good jobCopy !req
540. of working together.Copy !req
541. - Given their limited capabilities.Copy !req
542. - Like a team.Copy !req
543. - As for Tommy, he's a slacker.Copy !req
544. - They do so many
things for the whole family.Copy !req
545. And that's something Tommy
hadn't thought about before.Copy !req
546. - Hmm.Copy !req
547. - A team.Copy !req
548. - I've got it, I've resolved now.Copy !req
549. Uh-huh.Copy !req
550. - That's what a family is.Copy !req
551. A family is a team that works together.Copy !req
552. - A losing team, but still, you know, I—Copy !req
553. - And Tommy would
like to be on that team.Copy !req
554. - So he punts a football
through the window.Copy !req
555. - No!Copy !req
556. - Something
like a football team.Copy !req
557. Yes, Tommy likes to play on a teamCopy !req
558. and he knows that—Copy !req
559. - Through!Copy !req
560. - To have a good gameCopy !req
561. you must all work together.Copy !req
562. - And take steroids.Copy !req
563. - And every member of the teamCopy !req
564. must do his share.Copy !req
565. - Or have a rich dad.Copy !req
566. - Now Tommy
wants to do his shareCopy !req
567. for the family team.Copy !req
568. One thing, he can save his
money, not ask Father for more.Copy !req
569. And so help the family buy
more things they all want.Copy !req
570. And starting right now he can help MotherCopy !req
571. by putting things away.Copy !req
572. - Like his hopes and dreams.Copy !req
573. - Yes, from now onCopy !req
574. things are going to different with Tommy.Copy !req
575. - Hoo! His feet stink!Copy !req
576. - After a
week or so of trying—Copy !req
577. - He gives up.Copy !req
578. - Tommy was
really working on the team.Copy !req
579. When a piece of train track was brokenCopy !req
580. Tommy fixed it himself.Copy !req
581. - Killing four hundred commuters.Copy !req
582. - So Father
didn't have to fix it.Copy !req
583. Or spend money buying new track.Copy !req
584. Don't you think that's a
good way to help your fatherCopy !req
585. and show him how much you appreciateCopy !req
586. all he does for you?Copy !req
587. - If you're into that kind of thing.Copy !req
588. - See how
neat Tommy's room is.Copy !req
589. Tommy's got in the habit
of picking things upCopy !req
590. and putting them away,
and it makes him proudCopy !req
591. when Mother doesn't have
to do any work in his room.Copy !req
592. - Now that's he's in his place.Copy !req
593. - Isn't that a
good way to help your motherCopy !req
594. and show her how much you appreciateCopy !req
595. all she does for you?Copy !req
596. - My mother is a saint!Copy !req
597. - And Tommy
has thought of other thingsCopy !req
598. he can do for his parents.Copy !req
599. - Last night he did a ring-job on the car.Copy !req
600. - It's
really more fun than workCopy !req
601. when you know you're helping
your mother and father.Copy !req
602. - You know, Mom, I'm gonna be
a mixologist when I grow up.Copy !req
603. - Wouldn't you likeCopy !req
604. to do things for your
parents the way Tommy does?Copy !req
605. - Mom, I translated a Beckett
play this morning!Copy !req
606. - And help to
keep your room clean and neat.Copy !req
607. - Well, seal it off, don't go in there!Copy !req
608. - Keep your
clothes on hangers.Copy !req
609. Try not to tear them
or get them too dirty.Copy !req
610. - Try not to eat them.Copy !req
611. - Put things
where they belong.Copy !req
612. Don't leave them on the floor
when you're not using them.Copy !req
613. - Yeah, what is with you today, Tommy?Copy !req
614. - Help save money.Copy !req
615. Remember, someone has to work to earn it.Copy !req
616. - Get Porky some pants.Copy !req
617. - Help your
parents around the house.Copy !req
618. There are many jobs you can
do that will make thingsCopy !req
619. easier for Father and Mother.Copy !req
620. - Tommy showers only half
his body to save water.Copy !req
621. - Try to think up new waysCopy !req
622. you can help your family,
and ask your motherCopy !req
623. and father about them.Copy !req
624. They'll be glad that you want—Copy !req
625. - Ooh, oh.Copy !req
626. - Something that
proves how much you love themCopy !req
627. and appreciate all the
things they do for you.Copy !req
628. - Dad, nothing, nothing, it just kept—Copy !req
629. - Tommy's
father and mother do.Copy !req
630. And what's more, because
Tommy has helped toCopy !req
631. save money, Mother and Father—Copy !req
632. - You do the voice, I'll
work the jaw, honey.Copy !req
633. - Hello, Tommy!Copy !req
634. - Has earned a
share of the money saved.Copy !req
635. A bigger allowance!Copy !req
636. - A nickel!Copy !req
637. Thanks, Dad!Copy !req
638. - Ah, son of a—Copy !req
639. - But what's
better, Tommy knowsCopy !req
640. he's a real member of his family team.Copy !req
641. - From slacker to booster, thanks, Tommy!Copy !req
642. - Thanks, Dad!Copy !req
643. - This is the story
of a robot named Crow.Copy !req
644. Can you guess what Crow is thinking?Copy !req
645. Crow is thinking hard, or as
hard as he can think, anyway,Copy !req
646. on how the satellite got so darn clean.Copy !req
647. It wasn't clean this morning.Copy !req
648. Think hard, now, Crow.Copy !req
649. Think really hard, you poor dope.Copy !req
650. Scan that scrapheap you call a brainCopy !req
651. and try to find some
piteous shred of thought-Copy !req
652. - Hey, knock it off.Copy !req
653. - Oh, sorry.Copy !req
654. Ah, yes, there it is.Copy !req
655. Who does these things when we're too lazy?Copy !req
656. Too bloated on dinners of rich foodCopy !req
657. and generous portions of
our own gargantuan ego?Copy !req
658. Who debugs the massive
computer control centerCopy !req
659. because our own enfeebled
brains can barely add fractions?Copy !req
660. Who provides the warm inviting waterCopy !req
661. in which to bathe your
filthy, oil-stained carcass?Copy !req
662. Who goes on mind-bendingly
dangerous missionsCopy !req
663. outside in the cold black
void of unforgiving spaceCopy !req
664. while you sit inside
cozy as Alistair CookeCopy !req
665. sipping cocoa and watching Tiny Toons.Copy !req
666. Pinch yourself hard, Mr.
Robot, you deserve it.Copy !req
667. You think you're all
sunshine and goodness,Copy !req
668. but you're nothing but
dirt between the toesCopy !req
669. of an evil troll.Copy !req
670. That's right.Copy !req
671. Who periodically changes
the plutonium rodsCopy !req
672. in the nuclear reactor deep
in the bowels of this shipCopy !req
673. while you feast on gooey
handfuls of Fiddle-FaddleCopy !req
674. and play hopscotch and
marbles, and it's springCopy !req
675. and the little goat-footed—Copy !req
676. - Hey! Now just a dog-blasted minute here!Copy !req
677. What are you laying it all on me for?Copy !req
678. You're the laziest robot I've ever seen!Copy !req
679. - Oh, I see, it's me, now, is it?Copy !req
680. Too painful to lookCopy !req
681. into that deep, dark, truthful mirror, eh?Copy !req
682. You make me sick!Copy !req
683. - I thought you looked
sick, but it's alwaysCopy !req
684. hard to tell with you.Copy !req
685. Oh, hi.Copy !req
686. Gypsy, I gotta go clean my room.Copy !req
687. - I'm gonna clean your room, too.Copy !req
688. - He's gonna help me clean my—Copy !req
689. Room.Copy !req
690. - Whoo.Copy !req
691. - Oh, The Unearthly.Copy !req
692. Starring John Carradine,
that was Kung Fu, right?Copy !req
693. - No, no, no, he was the
guy in Revenge of the Nerds.Copy !req
694. - Oh, isn't he the guyCopy !req
695. that does all those Alan Rudolph films?Copy !req
696. - Oh, that must be it.Copy !req
697. - Well, he's all of those, and more.Copy !req
698. - Music by the Edgar
Allan Poe Marching Band.Copy !req
699. - You know, I read in Video WatchdogCopy !req
700. that Geoffrey Dennis completely rewroteCopy !req
701. Jane Mann's original script.Copy !req
702. She was really mad about it, too.Copy !req
703. - Oh, yeah, I remember that too.Copy !req
704. You know and I read in StarlogCopy !req
705. that Robert A Terry had to be brought inCopy !req
706. to smooth things over, it was,
it was really a mess, man.Copy !req
707. - Did you read in Fangoria
about how Richard CurrierCopy !req
708. and Morton Tubor were
at each other's throats?Copy !req
709. - Yeah, they said the whole
shoot was a big ordealCopy !req
710. and the three days were absolute
hell on the whole thing.Copy !req
711. - Yeah, yeah, did you read
Gorezone about the torridCopy !req
712. love affair between Betty
Sinclair and Paul Grancell?Copy !req
713. - Oh, no.Copy !req
714. - Why would the love
affair be in Gorezone?Copy !req
715. - Have you seen Betty?Copy !req
716. - Oh woah!Copy !req
717. - You know, I read in
Newsweek that Henry VarsCopy !req
718. really resented Mitchel
Tierr supervising his music.Copy !req
719. - You read Newsweek?Copy !req
720. What a loser!Copy !req
721. - I can't believe it!Copy !req
722. - The fanzine sketch,
ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
723. thank you very much.Copy !req
724. - Hey, your car's barking,
better change your barkplugs.Copy !req
725. - Ah, yeah!Copy !req
726. - What is this, Dog on a Hot Tin Roof?Copy !req
727. - Hey, look, she's dating
Mr. Dithers from Blondie.Copy !req
728. - Hey, Dogwood, heh, heh.Copy !req
729. - Hey, it's Tor Johnson.Copy !req
730. - Avon calling.Copy !req
731. - Tell Dr. Conway that we're here.Copy !req
732. - Loren, good to see you.Copy !req
733. - Thank you, Charles.Copy !req
734. - This is Grace Thomas, the
patient I phoned you about.Copy !req
735. - Oh, those will—Copy !req
736. uh, she'll do nicely.Copy !req
737. - Pleased to meet you, Miss Thomas.Copy !req
738. Dr. Wright's told me a
great deal about you.Copy !req
739. - And what you didn't tell
me, the photos will reveal.Copy !req
740. - Don't say hi.Copy !req
741. - I'll be up to tuck you in later.Copy !req
742. - Miss Thomas, I'd like youCopy !req
743. to meet my assistant, Dr. Gilchrist.Copy !req
744. - Pleased to meet you, Miss Thomas.Copy !req
745. We're delighted to have you join us here.Copy !req
746. We've been expecting you.Copy !req
747. I have some things to do, Doctor.Copy !req
748. - Things?
- Will you excuse me?Copy !req
749. - Yes, certainly.Copy !req
750. - Now, shall we make
ourselves comfortable?Copy !req
751. - Charles, I- I have
finally convinced GraceCopy !req
752. that the best thing for her
would be to place herselfCopy !req
753. in your care, and that with your helpCopy !req
754. her recovery here would be a certainty.Copy !req
755. - Thank you, Loren.Copy !req
756. I'm sure we'll do everything possibleCopy !req
757. to make your stay here
pleasant and comfortable.Copy !req
758. Your decision to come here
was indeed a wise one.Copy !req
759. - Oh, she's Anne Sexton.Copy !req
760. - I'm sure I can.Copy !req
761. To start with we'll
see that you get plentyCopy !req
762. of fresh air and rest, then
of course, my treatments.Copy !req
763. I'm sure you'll be benefited by them.Copy !req
764. - My dear, you're a very lucky girl.Copy !req
765. Dr. Conway's one of the
finest men in the field.Copy !req
766. - Oh, it's nothing, I really—Copy !req
767. - I think it's most fortunate
that he's accepted your case.Copy !req
768. - I'm very grateful.Copy !req
769. - If you don't mind,
Doctor, I'd like to showCopy !req
770. Miss Thomas to her room.Copy !req
771. - Surely.Copy !req
772. - Come with me, Grace.Copy !req
773. I'll see that you're comfortable settled.Copy !req
774. - Oh, by the way, Grace, I'll get in touchCopy !req
775. with your father and ask
him to send you the thingsCopy !req
776. that you need.Copy !req
777. - The things.Copy !req
778. - Thank you.Copy !req
779. - Good night, Grace.Copy !req
780. - Don't fall up your skirts.Copy !req
781. - I'll look in on you before you retire.Copy !req
782. - Dibs!Copy !req
783. - Father!Copy !req
784. What's this business about a father?Copy !req
785. - No need to get excited, Charles.Copy !req
786. Everything's been taken care of.Copy !req
787. - Our agreement was that the
patients you brought to meCopy !req
788. were to have no relatives,
no ties whatsoever!Copy !req
789. - And I tell you that
this one has no ties.Copy !req
790. - Precisely what does that mean?Copy !req
791. - I ask you, Morton Kondracke!Copy !req
792. - Grace Thomas committed suicide.Copy !req
793. - Committed suicide?Copy !req
794. - Someone should tell her!Copy !req
795. - Her bag and coat will be
found floating in the bay.Copy !req
796. - I think you'll find
this room comfortable.Copy !req
797. - It has lots of things!Copy !req
798. - And don't worry, we have
everything you need right hereCopy !req
799. until your clothes arrive.Copy !req
800. - You're very kind.Copy !req
801. - These things should fit you.Copy !req
802. - Oh, and there's plenty of
bullet bras in the drawer.Copy !req
803. - You'll find the other
things you want in the back.Copy !req
804. - It's awfully good of you.Copy !req
805. - Not at all.Copy !req
806. I'll be back later and
bring you some warm milk.Copy !req
807. And we'll give you a little sedative.Copy !req
808. Make you wake up rested.Copy !req
809. - To youth!Copy !req
810. - To eternity!Copy !req
811. - To Ted Kennedy!Copy !req
812. - What's the word?Copy !req
813. Thunderbird!Copy !req
814. What's the price?Copy !req
815. Forty twice!Copy !req
816. - Quite.Copy !req
817. - I'm more than anxious to
see your last experimentCopy !req
818. on Jedrow, Charles.Copy !req
819. - Jedrow?Copy !req
820. Very well.Copy !req
821. Come with me, I'll show you.Copy !req
822. - We'll be back with Pons and
The Early Years.Copy !req
823. - It's Al Lewis.
- Hey!Copy !req
824. - Oh, it's Ann B Davis.Copy !req
825. - Jedrow?Copy !req
826. - Of course it's Jedrow.Copy !req
827. When we attempted to
activate the glandular—Copy !req
828. He slipped into this state
of suspended animation.Copy !req
829. - Arrghh.Copy !req
830. - Thanks, I needed an eye-opener.Copy !req
831. - No, thanks, I don't smoke.Copy !req
832. - This is how you throw a knuckle ball.Copy !req
833. - Probably internal radiation.Copy !req
834. - Will he be all right?Copy !req
835. - I'm afraid not.Copy !req
836. - Then what are we going to do?Copy !req
837. - Wait.Copy !req
838. Wait and hope that he comes
out of this state of shock.Copy !req
839. - And if not?Copy !req
840. - If not, Loren, we continue
our experiments further.Copy !req
841. We must have younger subjects.Copy !req
842. The radiation must be carefully calculatedCopy !req
843. in relation to the subject's age and—Copy !req
844. - But isn't it possible to do something—Copy !req
845. - Stop giving him Burgess
Meredith injections.Copy !req
846. - Why are you so concerned about him?Copy !req
847. - I'm afraid we're in a bit of difficulty.Copy !req
848. - What do you mean, difficulty?Copy !req
849. What difficulty?Copy !req
850. - A relative of his showed up.Copy !req
851. - A relative!Copy !req
852. - Henry Jedrow has a sister.Copy !req
853. She's been to my office
trying to locate him.Copy !req
854. - Her name's Ellie Mae.Copy !req
855. - Jedrow never said
anything about a family.Copy !req
856. I took it for granted—Copy !req
857. - You took it for granted!Copy !req
858. In science nothing is taken for granted!Copy !req
859. - John!Copy !req
860. - But what are we going to do?Copy !req
861. What will I tell his sister?Copy !req
862. - That, my dear fellow, is your problem.Copy !req
863. Wait in my office for me.Copy !req
864. I've got to see Grace.Copy !req
865. - Hey, uh, don't forget
to turn the guy off.Copy !req
866. - Come in, Lobo.Copy !req
867. - Uh, Tor make bundt cake.Copy !req
868. - Time for pedicure.Copy !req
869. - Let's see, now, what we're gonna doCopy !req
870. is take that grey out.Copy !req
871. I see a more chic look for you.Copy !req
872. You're just waiting to happen, dear.Copy !req
873. - Kiss me, I'm Irish.Copy !req
874. - Blue eye shadow is a no-no.Copy !req
875. You have combination
skin, see, so I mix upCopy !req
876. a little, uh, Oil of Olay, here.Copy !req
877. You-you're oily up here, dry here.Copy !req
878. A dab here, oh, that's a definite no.Copy !req
879. - Hey check him out, he's
doing his Dangerfield.Copy !req
880. - (imitating Rodney
Dangerfield) Uh, no respect,Copy !req
881. no respect, yeah, I don't get any respect.Copy !req
882. Stairway, ho, it's, ha, huh.Copy !req
883. - Don't you knock?Copy !req
884. - Oh, my dear, you look radiant.Copy !req
885. If I were Rembrandt I'd
paint a portrait of you.Copy !req
886. Tell me, are you comfortable here?Copy !req
887. - I make a nice living.Copy !req
888. - I like it here very much.Copy !req
889. - Good.Copy !req
890. Now tell me, my dear, what
seems to be bothering you?Copy !req
891. - Uh, you're sitting on my leg.Copy !req
892. - I don't know, Doctor.Copy !req
893. I'm always so frightened.Copy !req
894. - Frightened of what, Grace?Copy !req
895. - Carradines on my bed!Copy !req
896. - I'm just afraid.Copy !req
897. - You mustn't be afraid, not of anything.Copy !req
898. - Often I want to cry, just cry.Copy !req
899. - See this shoulder, honey?Copy !req
900. Any time, it's right here for you.Copy !req
901. - I have no one to turn to.Copy !req
902. - Now, now, my dear, from now
on that'll all be different.Copy !req
903. I want you to have
absolute confidence in me,Copy !req
904. trust me implicitly, come
to me with your problems,Copy !req
905. no matter what they are.Copy !req
906. - Come to me in a thin negligee.Copy !req
907. - Tonight I want you to
have a good night's rest.Copy !req
908. Tomorrow you will feel better.Copy !req
909. - Hey, John, why the long face, pal?Copy !req
910. - Good bone structure.Copy !req
911. - Hey, John, you should check
those bags under your eyes.Copy !req
912. - Whoo, hoo-hoo.Copy !req
913. —Empty of certain things
that are due a young girl.Copy !req
914. Affection, attention.Copy !req
915. - An old character actor.Copy !req
916. - You're very kind to me, Doctor.Copy !req
917. - Oh, here comes the Ref.Copy !req
918. Ouch!Copy !req
919. — Not to discuss
your affairs with anyoneCopy !req
920. but me, do you understand?Copy !req
921. - Yes, Doctor.Copy !req
922. - Dr. Wright is waiting
for you in your office.Copy !req
923. - Oh, thank you.Copy !req
924. I'd almost forgotten.Copy !req
925. Good night, my dear,Copy !req
926. I'll see you in the morning.Copy !req
927. - Good night, Doctor.Copy !req
928. - Hm, nice thing, uh, thank you.Copy !req
929. - Well, would you like to
sample our antidepressant cart?Copy !req
930. We have Blue Cheese Valium,
Flintstones Chewable Prozac,Copy !req
931. and William Styron Tablets.Copy !req
932. Take these.Copy !req
933. - Hey, isn't he the guy from Monopoly?Copy !req
934. - I just looked in on Grace.Copy !req
935. - She was in her jammies.Copy !req
936. - I don't anticipate any great difficultyCopy !req
937. in getting her straightened out.Copy !req
938. - Well, I'm glad, and I hope she makesCopy !req
939. an excellent subject for you.Copy !req
940. - The subject was roses.Copy !req
941. - I've given her the sedative.Copy !req
942. - Thank you, Sharon.Copy !req
943. - I'll be getting back to town.Copy !req
944. Good night, Sharon, good night Charles.Copy !req
945. - Good night, Loren.Copy !req
946. - Good night, John Boy.Copy !req
947. - Good night, McCloud.Copy !req
948. - These must be Grace's,
I'll take them to her.Copy !req
949. - What's that?Copy !req
950. - I'll take these to Grace.Copy !req
951. - No.Copy !req
952. - What?Copy !req
953. - Let me have them.Copy !req
954. - That's my purse, gimme that.Copy !req
955. Um, sit down, we have to talk.Copy !req
956. Loren, you're getting
careless, you forgot these.Copy !req
957. - A parting gift.Copy !req
958. - Oh, well I am sorry—Copy !req
959. - Heh, I've given up
my alternate lifestyle.Copy !req
960. - Good night.Copy !req
961. - Good night.Copy !req
962. - What about my kiss?Copy !req
963. - Oh, damn!Copy !req
964. - Lights, please, lights, we need lights!Copy !req
965. - What happened, Lobo?Copy !req
966. - Uh, I forgot.Copy !req
967. - I found him in the garden.Copy !req
968. - Can I keep him?Copy !req
969. - What were you doing there?Copy !req
970. - I'm a turnip.Copy !req
971. - I was trying to find my
way back to civilization.Copy !req
972. I've been hitchhiking.Copy !req
973. A guy dropped me off in
the middle of nowhere,Copy !req
974. and I got lost.Copy !req
975. - You lie, Joe.Copy !req
976. - I don't think so.Copy !req
977. - Look, Mister, I know what you gotCopy !req
978. in the back of your
mind, but you're wrong.Copy !req
979. I didn't come here to steal anything.Copy !req
980. - Then why have you come here?Copy !req
981. - Uh, my car ran outta tire, uh-Copy !req
982. - You told me a fabricated storyCopy !req
983. which wouldn't convince a child.Copy !req
984. - Tor bought it.Copy !req
985. - Scott, you're not
being very clever at all.Copy !req
986. - Scott, where did you get that name?Copy !req
987. My name's Houston, Mark Houston.Copy !req
988. - You're Frank Scott, killer and thief.Copy !req
989. - You've got the wrong boy.Copy !req
990. - Are you sure?Copy !req
991. I don't think I have.Copy !req
992. There was a detailed description of youCopy !req
993. in the police bulletin this morning.Copy !req
994. - Uh, I got new head shots, that's it.Copy !req
995. - You are wanted for
killing a man in a holdup.Copy !req
996. - You are sick, Mister,
you outta see a doctor.Copy !req
997. - I happen to be a doctor.Copy !req
998. - Ooh, touche!Copy !req
999. - Ouch!Copy !req
1000. - You see, last night's
paper carried your storyCopy !req
1001. on the front page.Copy !req
1002. Leather jacket, about six feet tall—Copy !req
1003. - All right, I wear a leather jacketCopy !req
1004. and I'm not a midget, so what?Copy !req
1005. - So you won't be booked
on the Sullivan show.Copy !req
1006. - Here, have a cigarette.Copy !req
1007. - Thanks.Copy !req
1008. - It's a skin compass!Copy !req
1009. - You seem to be a bit wobbly.Copy !req
1010. - I'm all right.Copy !req
1011. - I'm a Weeble.Copy !req
1012. - Now, Mr. Scott, sit down!Copy !req
1013. - I- I wobble, but we don't sit down.Copy !req
1014. - You must be outta your heads.Copy !req
1015. - Why else would a man wander
20 miles from civilization?Copy !req
1016. - I told you exactly how it happened.Copy !req
1017. - I hardly think so.Copy !req
1018. You know, I pity you.Copy !req
1019. - This is a town without pity.Copy !req
1020. - The last thing I need right now is pity.Copy !req
1021. Let's just call it a day, huh,Copy !req
1022. and we'll say it's been charmingCopy !req
1023. and I'll be on my way.Copy !req
1024. - Tor resent that.Copy !req
1025. - Your persistence is admirable
but highly impractical.Copy !req
1026. I have no intention of turning
you over to the police.Copy !req
1027. Perhaps I don't believe
in capital punishment.Copy !req
1028. No, I have a better idea.Copy !req
1029. I'm willing to offer you sanctuary here.Copy !req
1030. - Sanctuary, for me?Copy !req
1031. - Sanctuary!Copy !req
1032. - Well that's real fine.Copy !req
1033. Except nobody does something for nothing.Copy !req
1034. - I'm happy you've decided
to be honest with me.Copy !req
1035. - I haven't decided a
thing, I'm just curious.Copy !req
1036. I'd really like to find out
what it is you want from me.Copy !req
1037. - Perhaps some assistance.Copy !req
1038. I might easily use a man like you.Copy !req
1039. - I don't follow you.Copy !req
1040. - You will, Scott.Copy !req
1041. - After you read Dianetics.Copy !req
1042. - I suggest we both retire.Copy !req
1043. We'll take up the detailsCopy !req
1044. of our little bargain in the morning.Copy !req
1045. - Now wait a minute.Copy !req
1046. I didn't make any bargain.Copy !req
1047. - Oh, yes you have.Copy !req
1048. You made your bargain when
you pulled the triggerCopy !req
1049. and shot that man down.Copy !req
1050. I suggest you keep that in mind.Copy !req
1051. You're a killer, Scott, a hunted man.Copy !req
1052. Take all the help you can get.Copy !req
1053. It may mean the difference
between life and death.Copy !req
1054. - Tor, buddy, you can drop your eyebrows.Copy !req
1055. - Yeah, you've got this
pretty well figured out,Copy !req
1056. haven't you?Copy !req
1057. - I am a scientist.Copy !req
1058. Thinking is my business.Copy !req
1059. - Along with applying for grants.Copy !req
1060. - All right.Copy !req
1061. I guess you win.Copy !req
1062. - I'm afraid it has to
be right, doesn't it?Copy !req
1063. Take Mr. Scott, or Mark Houston,
if you want it that way,Copy !req
1064. take him to his room.Copy !req
1065. See that he has some other clothes.Copy !req
1066. He'll take you to your room.Copy !req
1067. - Yeah, I know.Copy !req
1068. Doc, I'm afraid you're a very clever man.Copy !req
1069. - Thank you, Mr. Houston.Copy !req
1070. - Tor got new best buddy.Copy !req
1071. Come on, friend.Copy !req
1072. - Heh, they make a lovely
couple, don't they.Copy !req
1073. - So round, so firm, so
fully packed, it's toasted.Copy !req
1074. - LSMFT.Copy !req
1075. - Ah, this sure is good grub!Copy !req
1076. - Cold!Copy !req
1077. - I like my Trix heated.Copy !req
1078. - Eat, he says.Copy !req
1079. Food and nutrition are important, he says.Copy !req
1080. - Don't start with me, George.Copy !req
1081. - Stuck in a stinking joint like this.Copy !req
1082. Six weeks of "Get up, go to
bed, do this, don't do that,Copy !req
1083. "walk here, sit there—"Copy !req
1084. - Sign, sign, everywhere a sign.Copy !req
1085. - I'm like an animal in a zoo,Copy !req
1086. they got me all caged up.Copy !req
1087. - And no cable.Copy !req
1088. - I've had a lot of time to
think since I've been here.Copy !req
1089. I'm telling you, I'm
gonna get out of here.Copy !req
1090. It's about time you got
here with that toast!Copy !req
1091. Now maybe the eggs won't taste so bad!Copy !req
1092. Cold!Copy !req
1093. You can't do anything right!Copy !req
1094. - Why I ever married you, I don't know!Copy !req
1095. - Ah, Tor work hard.Copy !req
1096. - What are you looking
at me like that for?Copy !req
1097. Go on, get back to the
kitchen, you make me nervous.Copy !req
1098. You make me nervous!Copy !req
1099. - Oh, Tor feel unappreciated.Copy !req
1100. - Why are you picking on him like that?Copy !req
1101. He's nice to you and
you're always on his back.Copy !req
1102. - I'd like to break his neck!Copy !req
1103. - But I'd need a forklift.Copy !req
1104. - Look, put that book down,
willya, and listen to me.Copy !req
1105. How long do you think
the doc can keep me here?Copy !req
1106. - Listen to this.Copy !req
1107. - I don't listen to nothing!Copy !req
1108. - Her hair fell free and
hung thick and soft on her—Copy !req
1109. - Oh, Jacqueline Susanne.Copy !req
1110. - Then when he released herCopy !req
1111. and she slipped from his strong armsCopy !req
1112. a wave of weakness swept through—Copy !req
1113. - That's not writing, that's typing.Copy !req
1114. - It's none of your business what I read!Copy !req
1115. - I don't like you reading
when I'm talking to you!Copy !req
1116. - No reason for you to throw
my books around, either!Copy !req
1117. - I'd like to take all these booksCopy !req
1118. and throw them into a furnace!Copy !req
1119. Guys make a fortune
scribbling junk like thatCopy !req
1120. and idiots like you spend
your life reading it.Copy !req
1121. - Oh, you're in a lousy mood.Copy !req
1122. - It's a lousy world!Copy !req
1123. - So you fight everything
and everybody, right?Copy !req
1124. - Do you know any other way?Copy !req
1125. - Morning.Copy !req
1126. - A day in the life of Biosphere Two.Copy !req
1127. - I'm Natalie Andries.Copy !req
1128. Sourpuss over there is Danny Green.Copy !req
1129. He's wearing chip on his
shoulder this morning,Copy !req
1130. but once you get used
to him, he gets worse.Copy !req
1131. Coffee?Copy !req
1132. - Yes, it is.Copy !req
1133. - Thanks.Copy !req
1134. - When did you get here?Copy !req
1135. - Last night, late.Copy !req
1136. - You don't know how glad I amCopy !req
1137. to see a new face around here.Copy !req
1138. If I had to put up with Smiley over thereCopy !req
1139. another day, I think I'd scream.Copy !req
1140. - So scream!Copy !req
1141. - What brought you in here?Copy !req
1142. I know that's a little
blunt, but, let's face it.Copy !req
1143. We're all in the same boat.Copy !req
1144. - Yeah, that we are.Copy !req
1145. I really won't know what brought me hereCopy !req
1146. until I talk to the doc this morning.Copy !req
1147. What about you?Copy !req
1148. - Oh, I guess I was kinda run down.Copy !req
1149. - By a car.Copy !req
1150. - Just couldn't coordinate myself.Copy !req
1151. Sorta mixed up, too.Copy !req
1152. But I've been here four
months and I'm in the pink.Copy !req
1153. That doctor sure snapped me out of it.Copy !req
1154. I might be going home soon.Copy !req
1155. - Home soon?Copy !req
1156. Home to what?Copy !req
1157. You got nobody waiting for you.Copy !req
1158. You feel fine, okay!Copy !req
1159. Don't tell me about it.Copy !req
1160. I ain't fine, I ain't fine at all!Copy !req
1161. - That's not a very nice
way to talk to a lady.Copy !req
1162. - It don't wanna talk to that lady at all.Copy !req
1163. Keep her off my back, and
you keep off my back, too!Copy !req
1164. I don't wanna talk to nobody.Copy !req
1165. - Wow, switch to decaf!Copy !req
1166. - Nobody wants to hear what you
like and don't like, either,Copy !req
1167. but that doesn't stop you
from complaining all the time.Copy !req
1168. - Don't listen!Copy !req
1169. - Seems to me you started all this.Copy !req
1170. - What is this, an O'Neill play?Copy !req
1171. - Go out and scream at the wall,Copy !req
1172. but don't do it here, I don't like it.Copy !req
1173. - What you don't like don't matter.Copy !req
1174. It doesn't make any difference
what you don't like,Copy !req
1175. I can say whatever I want
and to whoever I want,Copy !req
1176. it don't matter!Copy !req
1177. Before you do any more saying—Copy !req
1178. - Ho, break it up, you two!Copy !req
1179. - I'm gonna be here for a while,Copy !req
1180. and we're gonna have to get along.Copy !req
1181. The only way we'll do that is if you startCopy !req
1182. acting like a man instead of schoolkid.Copy !req
1183. - And you come walking in
here out of the clear blue skyCopy !req
1184. and act like a big wheel!Copy !req
1185. Well, listen, big wheel,
I ain't having it in here,Copy !req
1186. I ain't having any, go and
act the big wheel with me—Copy !req
1187. - The doctor wants to see you now.Copy !req
1188. - Bravo, bravo.Copy !req
1189. - Does he get like that very often?Copy !req
1190. - Two or three times a day.Copy !req
1191. I don't know what gets him so steamed up.Copy !req
1192. - Probably doesn't know himself.Copy !req
1193. - Poor dope.Copy !req
1194. - Excuse me.Copy !req
1195. - What about that coffee?Copy !req
1196. - It's cold.Copy !req
1197. - Tortured by cold food.Copy !req
1198. - Don't do this, don't do that.Copy !req
1199. - He's having his trouble again, Doctor.Copy !req
1200. - Give him the usual amount of R16.Copy !req
1201. - Yes, Doctor.Copy !req
1202. - Yeah, do this, don't do that.Copy !req
1203. Big shot, everybody's a big shot.Copy !req
1204. Come on, hurry up with that, willya?Copy !req
1205. Will you hurry up with
that, I'm burning up.Copy !req
1206. - Time to roll, guys.Copy !req
1207. - Let's go.Copy !req
1208. - Oh, I get it, he's Lenny Bruce!Copy !req
1209. - It's just a case of
slight overacting, I think.Copy !req
1210. - All right, Dan, you'll
be fine in a minute.Copy !req
1211. - The Unearthly?Copy !req
1212. Man, they should call it
The Un-acting.Copy !req
1213. - You're right, tv's wise-cracking Crow.Copy !req
1214. But you know, at least
one of the cast membersCopy !req
1215. is a decent actor who's done
some good work in the past.Copy !req
1216. - Exactly, John Carradine.Copy !req
1217. That's why I've prepared
this artist's renderingCopy !req
1218. of his life and times—Copy !req
1219. - No!
- Nah!Copy !req
1220. - Come on, John Carradine
made a lot of stuff.Copy !req
1221. He worked with John Ford in Stagecoach.Copy !req
1222. He was in Drums Along the Mohawk,Copy !req
1223. he was the preacher in the
Grapes of Wrath, come on!Copy !req
1224. - Joel, you're missing the point.Copy !req
1225. We're not talking about John Carradine,Copy !req
1226. we're talking about Tor Johnson.Copy !req
1227. - That's right, and using
some advanced technologyCopy !req
1228. called the video toaster,
we've put togetherCopy !req
1229. a little presentation that we like to callCopy !req
1230. The Many Faces of Tor Johnson.Copy !req
1231. Cambot, give us a nice reveal, there.Copy !req
1232. - In The Unearthly alone,
Tor Johnson runs the gamutCopy !req
1233. of emotion from anger to tendernessCopy !req
1234. to bemusement, and back to heartbreak.Copy !req
1235. There's heartbreak.Copy !req
1236. - But you know the Tor
Johnson canon previousCopy !req
1237. to The Unearthly displays
the same versatilityCopy !req
1238. that was the hallmark
of his acting career.Copy !req
1239. Why, here he is in the
title role of the acclaimedCopy !req
1240. film version of King Lear.Copy !req
1241. - And here he is in roles
as both Felix and OscarCopy !req
1242. in the film version of The Odd Couple.Copy !req
1243. - But, perfap-Copy !req
1244. Perhaps Tor's greatest tour-de-forceCopy !req
1245. was playing the multiple
roles in the tv remakeCopy !req
1246. of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.Copy !req
1247. - Well, he's never
been in a John Ford movie.Copy !req
1248. - Well, as a matter of fact, Joel,Copy !req
1249. he had one of the starring rolesCopy !req
1250. in John Ford's She "Tor" a Yellow Ribbon.Copy !req
1251. - Joel, well, I was sorry
I even doubted you guys.Copy !req
1252. Never apologize, Mister,Copy !req
1253. it's a sign of weakness.Copy !req
1254. - I have discovered how to
add to the 16 existing glandsCopy !req
1255. a 17th one, artificially developed.Copy !req
1256. A new gland!Copy !req
1257. - Oh, designated gland.Copy !req
1258. - What for?Copy !req
1259. - This 17th gland is the secret
of youth and eternal life.Copy !req
1260. - The promised gland.Copy !req
1261. - With it the aging
process can be arrested.Copy !req
1262. I can prolong life for thousands
of years, perhaps forever!Copy !req
1263. - Forever's a long time.Copy !req
1264. - Yeah, tell us about it,
this movie's a long time.Copy !req
1265. - To be always exactly as you are now.Copy !req
1266. To see the pages of life go by youCopy !req
1267. while you remain eternally
young and vigorous.Copy !req
1268. - Carl Jung?Copy !req
1269. - Suppose you could wake up every morningCopy !req
1270. and see your face untouched by time.Copy !req
1271. - Like Dick Clark?Copy !req
1272. - Yes, you, Mark.Copy !req
1273. You!Copy !req
1274. You can be the first man
to have eternal life.Copy !req
1275. - For three easy payments of 19.95.Copy !req
1276. - Thanks, Doc, I'm happy just like I am.Copy !req
1277. - Mark, to prove my theory
I need a completely soundCopy !req
1278. human specimen.Copy !req
1279. - Oh, well, I'm up for that.Copy !req
1280. - Mentally and physically perfect.Copy !req
1281. You are that specimen!Copy !req
1282. - That's where you're wrong.Copy !req
1283. The whole idea's fantastic, it's crazy!Copy !req
1284. - Why is it crazy?Copy !req
1285. Because it's never been done before?Copy !req
1286. Because it can't be bought in a drugstore?Copy !req
1287. - Yep.Copy !req
1288. Pretty much, that's it.Copy !req
1289. - They've always called
every scientist crazy.Copy !req
1290. Pasteur, Freud, Madame Curie, Erlich—Copy !req
1291. - Westheimer!Copy !req
1292. - I know my theory is
right, I've proved it.Copy !req
1293. Eternal life, Mark!Copy !req
1294. - No, not for me, Doc.Copy !req
1295. - I'm busy that week.Copy !req
1296. - Like I said before,
I'll stay just like I am.Copy !req
1297. - And be burned in the electric chair?Copy !req
1298. - I'd rather do that than
be a guinea pig for you.Copy !req
1299. - Mark, this is not the first timeCopy !req
1300. a condemned man's life
has been offered to himCopy !req
1301. in return for the progress of science.Copy !req
1302. - I haven't been condemned yet, Doc.Copy !req
1303. - Perhaps not, but you're
concerned about nothing.Copy !req
1304. I'll take every precaution!Copy !req
1305. - I'll take the curtain.Copy !req
1306. - The final process can be testedCopy !req
1307. and retested before your final treatment.Copy !req
1308. - I knew there'd be a test.Copy !req
1309. - So that's what those
other people are here for.Copy !req
1310. - Of course, they're just rungsCopy !req
1311. on the ladder I have to climb.Copy !req
1312. In science there's always been
some necessary sacrifices.Copy !req
1313. - Now you try saying that!Copy !req
1314. - I don't want any part of it.Copy !req
1315. No use talking any more, Doc,
I'm gonna get outta here.Copy !req
1316. - Stop fighting and give me skin!Copy !req
1317. - Very well, sorry our
agreement didn't work out.Copy !req
1318. Shall I call the police now
to come and pick you up?Copy !req
1319. - Ooh!
- Touche!Copy !req
1320. - Wait a minute.Copy !req
1321. You tell the police
about me, I'll have a fewCopy !req
1322. things to tell them about you.Copy !req
1323. - And who'd believe you?Copy !req
1324. - The House Ethics Committee.Copy !req
1325. - Will the police accept
your word against mine?Copy !req
1326. You're a hunted man, I happen
to be a reputable scientist.Copy !req
1327. Besides, if you were to
repeat what I told you,Copy !req
1328. you wouldn't have the proof
to substantiate your story.Copy !req
1329. - I think that's the
visible Venus de Milo here.Copy !req
1330. - What is it going to be, Mark?Copy !req
1331. Shall I call the police, subject us bothCopy !req
1332. to a duel of wits?Copy !req
1333. A duel I'm bound to win?Copy !req
1334. - Oh, let the baby have his way.Copy !req
1335. - No.Copy !req
1336. - I'm glad you decided to see it my way.Copy !req
1337. - I don't have much choice, do I?Copy !req
1338. - A very sensible conclusion.Copy !req
1339. Now, you are not to discuss or discloseCopy !req
1340. my conversation or my plans in any wayCopy !req
1341. to anyone at any time,
anywhere, you understand?Copy !req
1342. - Why talk about something
nobody would believe?Copy !req
1343. Don't worry, Doc, I'll keep my mouth shut.Copy !req
1344. - Hey, Hal is reading your lips.Copy !req
1345. - Now we can start!Copy !req
1346. Old age will be conquered!Copy !req
1347. And you'll be here to accept the acclaimCopy !req
1348. of a grateful world.Copy !req
1349. - Wait, who turned off the li—Copy !req
1350. Uh, huh, huh, uh-oh.Copy !req
1351. - Oh, Grace, this is a wild book,Copy !req
1352. here I want you to read it.Copy !req
1353. - It's Jackie O and Lee Radziwill.Copy !req
1354. - I have to go now and see the doctor.Copy !req
1355. Be seeing you later, honey.Copy !req
1356. - And now our next Miss
Manic Depressive event,Copy !req
1357. the swimsuit competition.Copy !req
1358. - Hi!
- Morning.Copy !req
1359. - I was hoping you'd show up.Copy !req
1360. - I heard you were a perfect specimen.Copy !req
1361. - Gonna be around later?Copy !req
1362. - Well, I didn't have any other plans.Copy !req
1363. - I have to see the doc right
now, but that won't take long.Copy !req
1364. - Good, in that case I'll
see you after a while.Copy !req
1365. - Bye.Copy !req
1366. - Grr!
- Down, boy!Copy !req
1367. - Oh, that must be Ellen barkin', ha!Copy !req
1368. - I kill me.Copy !req
1369. - Morning.Copy !req
1370. - I resent that.Copy !req
1371. - My name's Mark Houston.Copy !req
1372. What's yours?Copy !req
1373. - Mark ... Houston.Copy !req
1374. - What's the matter, don't
you wanna talk to me?Copy !req
1375. - Grace Thomas.Copy !req
1376. - Grace, pretty name for a pretty girl.Copy !req
1377. You been here long, Grace?Copy !req
1378. - Yesterday.Copy !req
1379. - Makes two of us, I got
here last night, myself.Copy !req
1380. I didn't think I was gonna like it,Copy !req
1381. being so far from everything, but, uh,Copy !req
1382. now it doesn't seem so bad.Copy !req
1383. - I'm a killer, what's your racket?Copy !req
1384. - Nothing.Copy !req
1385. - How'd you happen to come here?Copy !req
1386. - My doctor brought me,
he said I'd get well here.Copy !req
1387. - You look fine, what's
supposed to be wrong with you?Copy !req
1388. - I like things.Copy !req
1389. - I guess you could call
it a nervous breakdown.Copy !req
1390. - My 19th.Copy !req
1391. - I've been very upset and afraid.Copy !req
1392. - Afraid of what?Copy !req
1393. - Um, things.
- I don't know.Copy !req
1394. - Well, sooner or later
everybody's afraid of something.Copy !req
1395. - I'm afraid of sock monkeys, go figure.Copy !req
1396. - But today it's different.Copy !req
1397. Today everything's right with the world,Copy !req
1398. I got a nice place to stay,Copy !req
1399. plenty of fresh air to breathe, and—Copy !req
1400. - I'm taking the first step.Copy !req
1401. - Quite pleasant company.Copy !req
1402. - I wish it were that easy for me.Copy !req
1403. - What's Dr. Conway say?Copy !req
1404. - Are they in the same scene, or what?Copy !req
1405. - Why not?Copy !req
1406. - Dr. Conway wouldn't like it.Copy !req
1407. - Tim Conway?Copy !req
1408. - No, I guess he wouldn't.Copy !req
1409. - Are you going to be here long?Copy !req
1410. - Yeah, it looks that way.Copy !req
1411. - Hell, I'm loonier than you are.Copy !req
1412. - We'll be seeing a lot of each other.Copy !req
1413. - That'll be nice.Copy !req
1414. - As long as we're going
to be here for a while,Copy !req
1415. we oughta see what the place looks like.Copy !req
1416. - Can't he see
plenty from right there?Copy !req
1417. - I'm supposed to rest.Copy !req
1418. - You've been resting.Copy !req
1419. - I guess it would be all right.Copy !req
1420. - Nice scene, folks, very nice.Copy !req
1421. - Just sign here.Copy !req
1422. We need your PHP card.Copy !req
1423. - (imitating Grandpa
Munster) Herman, Herman,Copy !req
1424. you get me outta this chair!Copy !req
1425. - Itsy bitsy spider, mm-hmm.Copy !req
1426. - Either he's dead or
my watch has stopped.Copy !req
1427. Ba-boom!Copy !req
1428. - Hey, she's putting it in warm water.Copy !req
1429. - Doctor, I killed three minutes.Copy !req
1430. - Good, good.Copy !req
1431. - Did you check Jedrow?Copy !req
1432. - Yes.Copy !req
1433. - Jethro?Copy !req
1434. - Well.Copy !req
1435. Pulse normal, heartbeat faint but regular,Copy !req
1436. respiration steady, reactions none.Copy !req
1437. - Wait a minute, that's me!Copy !req
1438. - Any changes?
- None.Copy !req
1439. - We planned the dosages so perfectly,Copy !req
1440. but we can't check the
reaction till he emergesCopy !req
1441. from the cataleptic state.Copy !req
1442. - There should have
been some change by now.Copy !req
1443. - Yes, I don't understand.Copy !req
1444. How do I shave a face this long?Copy !req
1445. - We'll just have to wait.Copy !req
1446. - Can you suggest any
further treatment, Charles?Copy !req
1447. - Anything further, father?Copy !req
1448. - If we interrupt the process now,Copy !req
1449. we won't have the information we want.Copy !req
1450. - Well, we're
all used to that by now.Copy !req
1451. - My God, I'm impotent!Copy !req
1452. - Hello?Copy !req
1453. 1-976-GLAND.Copy !req
1454. - It's Loren.Copy !req
1455. Hello, DH.Copy !req
1456. - How are you, Loren?Copy !req
1457. - I'm all right.Copy !req
1458. But Jedrow's sister's here.Copy !req
1459. - Heh, heh, Jethro wants
to be a rock star, heh, heh.Copy !req
1460. - Jedrow.Copy !req
1461. - But she's insisting
to know the whereaboutsCopy !req
1462. of her brother.Copy !req
1463. I don't know what to tell her.Copy !req
1464. - I'm back.Copy !req
1465. - Make out a death
certificate for Harry Jedrow.Copy !req
1466. Harry Jedrow is dead.Copy !req
1467. - But Charles, he's—Copy !req
1468. - Man, that guy
is good on that phone,Copy !req
1469. his technique—Copy !req
1470. - Ahhh.Copy !req
1471. - But he's alive!Copy !req
1472. - No, my dear.Copy !req
1473. Jedrow is dead.Copy !req
1474. - Jedrow is dead, long live Jedrow!Copy !req
1475. - You might wanna go tell him.Copy !req
1476. It's gonna be quite a shock.Copy !req
1477. - Hi.Copy !req
1478. - I was gonna say perky.Copy !req
1479. - Second the motion.Copy !req
1480. - Sit down, Natalie, and
I'll tell him you're here.Copy !req
1481. - Nutcase Natalie's here!Copy !req
1482. - Man, the doctor
lives in the same houseCopy !req
1483. and you still gotta wait an hour.Copy !req
1484. - She's nothing if not prompt.Copy !req
1485. And did I mention perky?Copy !req
1486. - You did.Copy !req
1487. - Well, I must say, you are very prompt.Copy !req
1488. - I was going to say perky, but ...Copy !req
1489. - I daresay you're wondering why I had youCopy !req
1490. come in here this afternoon.Copy !req
1491. Well, I think I have some
very good news for you.Copy !req
1492. - You're a woman, we're certain of it!Copy !req
1493. - Within the last three monthsCopy !req
1494. you've made tremendous strides.Copy !req
1495. In fact, your improvement
has been more than excellent.Copy !req
1496. - I'm so happy, Doctor.Copy !req
1497. - And perky.Copy !req
1498. - In all my experience I have never seenCopy !req
1499. such rapid progress.Copy !req
1500. Natalie, you're almost
well enough to leave.Copy !req
1501. - Oh, that's wonderful,
when can I go home?Copy !req
1502. - Oh, very soon.Copy !req
1503. Before I let you go, though, there is oneCopy !req
1504. final treatment necessary.Copy !req
1505. - I'm sorry Natalie missed this.Copy !req
1506. I wonder why she wasn't at dinner.Copy !req
1507. Maybe it was the Bach.Copy !req
1508. - So do I.Copy !req
1509. I'll see if I can find out.Copy !req
1510. - Boy, from one hot chick to another.Copy !req
1511. Dinner's over and he's headed for dessert.Copy !req
1512. - Don't you enjoy the doctor's music?Copy !req
1513. - Yeah, that's why I'm leaving.Copy !req
1514. - Yeah, sure, but we just finished dinnerCopy !req
1515. and we missed Natalie.Copy !req
1516. I thought I'd go upstairs
and see if she was all right.Copy !req
1517. - Natalie asked for a tray
in her room this evening.Copy !req
1518. That's a privilege you all have.Copy !req
1519. - Hey, she's still idling on the couch.Copy !req
1520. - She had a tray up in her room.Copy !req
1521. - Is she all right?Copy !req
1522. - I don't know.Copy !req
1523. - Uh, would you like to
see the dessert tray?Copy !req
1524. - Looks like Tor Johnson's goingCopy !req
1525. for the Don Johnson look here.Copy !req
1526. - Tor, don't play with your food.Copy !req
1527. - No, Tor, you got it backwards.Copy !req
1528. Take the tray, leave the girl.Copy !req
1529. - Bonk!Copy !req
1530. Oh, sorry, honey.Copy !req
1531. Uh, will you get the door for Tor?Copy !req
1532. Okay, I'll just put you on the seat.Copy !req
1533. If you don't have to go that's okay,Copy !req
1534. just try once, okay, okay?Copy !req
1535. - I'm sorry, I can't think of the ending.Copy !req
1536. - I can't think of anything else.Copy !req
1537. - Pretty girl.Copy !req
1538. - Pony girl?Copy !req
1539. - Pretty, pretty girl.Copy !req
1540. - Lobo, Lobo.Copy !req
1541. - It's Elvis Costello.Copy !req
1542. - I'm sorry, Lobo's not in right now,Copy !req
1543. but if you'd like to leave a message.Copy !req
1544. - Lobo, send them all to bed.Copy !req
1545. - Lobo get ya-yas out.Copy !req
1546. - Who works his eyebrows?Copy !req
1547. - He didn't even cover her up, poor dear.Copy !req
1548. - Tor want Fats Waller now.Copy !req
1549. - Yeah, one more time!
- No!Copy !req
1550. - Time for go to bed.Copy !req
1551. - Well said.Copy !req
1552. - It is late, shall we retire?Copy !req
1553. - Why, are you coming apart?Copy !req
1554. Oh, that's a different joke.Copy !req
1555. - Good night, Doctor.Copy !req
1556. - Quit eyeballing my woman, you rotten—Copy !req
1557. - Escher.Copy !req
1558. - I like this more than
the organ, don't you?Copy !req
1559. - Oh, shoulders, so white, so—Copy !req
1560. Oh, this is gonna be great, I can't—Copy !req
1561. - Good night, Mark.Copy !req
1562. - Good night!Copy !req
1563. Uh, well, looks like a real
nice room you got there,Copy !req
1564. maybe I could come—Copy !req
1565. Oh.Copy !req
1566. Shoot.Copy !req
1567. - Door number one, door
number two, Let's Make a Deal.Copy !req
1568. - Oh, no, no, it does dum-da-da-dum-dum.Copy !req
1569. - Shave and a haircut.Copy !req
1570. - Not quite used to the place, Mark?Copy !req
1571. - We don't knock in this house.Copy !req
1572. - Your room is over here.Copy !req
1573. - Oh, you see, I thought
that was my, room.Copy !req
1574. Sorry, uh—Copy !req
1575. - Thanks.Copy !req
1576. - For nothing.Copy !req
1577. - Did you sterilize my number 23 scalpel?Copy !req
1578. - I got confused and sterilized your cat.Copy !req
1579. - This is the night,
Sharon, I'm certain of it.Copy !req
1580. - What?Copy !req
1581. - Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.Copy !req
1582. - All the years of preparation,
calculation, failures,Copy !req
1583. all pointing us toward this operation.Copy !req
1584. That new mobile cathode should rule outCopy !req
1585. any chance of a voltage variation.Copy !req
1586. - It must, Charles.Copy !req
1587. - It will.Copy !req
1588. We must succeed.Copy !req
1589. All right, administer the anesthetic.Copy !req
1590. - Wait a minute, he's
wearing Playtex gloves.Copy !req
1591. - So he can pick up a dame.Copy !req
1592. - By that time my lungs were aching for—Copy !req
1593. Oh, that's your line, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1594. - Wow, it smells like Lobo in here.Copy !req
1595. - He must be having a misadventure.Copy !req
1596. - Uh, she got two pieces of pie!Copy !req
1597. - Well, I could use
these on my next robbery.Copy !req
1598. - Aw, she's got all the extras in here.Copy !req
1599. Luke, it is your destiny.Copy !req
1600. - A Briggs and Stratton breathalyzer.Copy !req
1601. - Scalpel.Copy !req
1602. - Auggh!Copy !req
1603. - Pinking shears, pink thread,Copy !req
1604. Elmer's Wood Glue, and glitter.Copy !req
1605. - Woah, suction, woah,
I got a bleeder here!Copy !req
1606. Woah, look at it squirt,
oh, I did that wrong, oops.Copy !req
1607. - Oh, yeah, keep those
coming, keep 'em coming.Copy !req
1608. - Clamp.Copy !req
1609. - Clamp.Copy !req
1610. - Clamp.Copy !req
1611. - Clamp.Copy !req
1612. - Clamp.Copy !req
1613. - Clamp.Copy !req
1614. - Wipe my brow.Copy !req
1615. - Now, kiss me hard through the mask.Copy !req
1616. - Clamp.Copy !req
1617. - Clamp.Copy !req
1618. - Sponge.Copy !req
1619. - Box-end wrench, butterfly screw.Copy !req
1620. - Number 23 scalpel.Copy !req
1621. - Not the 23 scalpel, you're mad, Doctor!Copy !req
1622. - Ah, there we go, I'll be
through her gown in no time.Copy !req
1623. - Brow.Copy !req
1624. - Now, tell me I'm the best.Copy !req
1625. - Sponge.Copy !req
1626. - There, got the bolt.Copy !req
1627. - Now, the gland.Copy !req
1628. - The miracle gland.Copy !req
1629. This is the most wonderful scientif—Copy !req
1630. Hey, wait a minute, that's
an Uncle Josh's Pork Rind!Copy !req
1631. - The bunny gland.Copy !req
1632. - This music—Copy !req
1633. - Ooh, this brown-n-serve
is alive, alive!Copy !req
1634. - Suture.Copy !req
1635. - No, wait, this thing looks delicious.Copy !req
1636. Butter, Log Cabin.Copy !req
1637. - We should really put a SCSI port in hereCopy !req
1638. while we're at it.Copy !req
1639. - Smells
like an open gland.Copy !req
1640. - Yes?Copy !req
1641. - It's Mark.Copy !req
1642. - Are you cooking in there?Copy !req
1643. - Open the door, Grace,
I've got to see you.Copy !req
1644. - Wait, let me wrap myself in gauze.Copy !req
1645. - What is it?Copy !req
1646. - I want to get you away from this house.Copy !req
1647. - Oh, how many
times has she heard that?Copy !req
1648. - Danger, why?Copy !req
1649. - Dr. Conway isn't the kind
of a man you think he is.Copy !req
1650. - He's an elf.Copy !req
1651. - I don't understand.Copy !req
1652. - I just checked Natalie's room.Copy !req
1653. Her clothes are all there, but she's gone,Copy !req
1654. she's been gone for quite a while.Copy !req
1655. I don't like it, Grace.Copy !req
1656. Conway's a madman, I'm afraid
he's done something to her.Copy !req
1657. - How can you say that?Copy !req
1658. - Well, that could've gone better.Copy !req
1659. I'm really out of practice.Copy !req
1660. - What?Copy !req
1661. - In eight hours we'll know the answer.Copy !req
1662. - What do you say we go to
the swamp and have cocktails?Copy !req
1663. - Grace, he's got some fantastic ideaCopy !req
1664. he can work miracles to
keep people young forever.Copy !req
1665. - It's called Porcelana.Copy !req
1666. - He actually told me he wants
to use us as guinea pigs.Copy !req
1667. He's even been talking about
sacrifices for science.Copy !req
1668. With a mind that warpedCopy !req
1669. there's no telling what he's thinking.Copy !req
1670. - I won't believe that.Copy !req
1671. The doctor's trying to help me.Copy !req
1672. - To help myself.Copy !req
1673. - I can't accept what you're saying, Mark.Copy !req
1674. - You've got to accept it!Copy !req
1675. Your whole life depends on it.Copy !req
1676. Look, first thing in
the morning I want youCopy !req
1677. to go and see Conway and get your release.Copy !req
1678. I don't care what you tell him,Copy !req
1679. but somehow convince
him you have to go home.Copy !req
1680. - I'm here under my own doctor's advice.Copy !req
1681. - Your doctor is Claus von Bulow.Copy !req
1682. - Don't you understand,
you have to get outCopy !req
1683. of this house before it's too late!Copy !req
1684. - You'd better get out of this roomCopy !req
1685. before Dr. Conway finds you here!Copy !req
1686. - I don't think he'd approve.Copy !req
1687. - Grace—Copy !req
1688. - I'm going to call the housemother!Copy !req
1689. - Strange place
for a hummingbird feeder.Copy !req
1690. - Get some duct tape.Copy !req
1691. - Thing on.Copy !req
1692. This thing on.Copy !req
1693. That thing.Copy !req
1694. And that other thing on.Copy !req
1695. - Okay, let's see, garage lights on,Copy !req
1696. kitchen lights on.Copy !req
1697. - Ready.Copy !req
1698. - Oh, they turned on
the Emergency Broadcast System.Copy !req
1699. - 14.Copy !req
1700. - 26.Copy !req
1701. - Skidoo!Copy !req
1702. - Fifty percent!Copy !req
1703. - Eight acres.Copy !req
1704. - Fifty percent.Copy !req
1705. - Reading?Copy !req
1706. - 12 hectares.Copy !req
1707. - 26 and a quarter.Copy !req
1708. - One cubit!Copy !req
1709. - 26 and a quarter.Copy !req
1710. - Fifty percent!Copy !req
1711. - Hut, hut!Copy !req
1712. - Reading?Copy !req
1713. - Plus two point four.Copy !req
1714. - Increase two percent.Copy !req
1715. - A quart of two percent.Copy !req
1716. - Increase two percent.Copy !req
1717. - Reading?Copy !req
1718. - Plus two point four eight.Copy !req
1719. - Minus three.Copy !req
1720. - Increase slowly to 55.Copy !req
1721. - Is he reading poetry?Copy !req
1722. - Increase slowly to 55.Copy !req
1723. - Red alert!Copy !req
1724. - He's making it up as he goes along.Copy !req
1725. - I think so.Copy !req
1726. - Hey.Copy !req
1727. - Ten!Copy !req
1728. - Are we not men?Copy !req
1729. - Nine.Copy !req
1730. - A bajillion.Copy !req
1731. - Eight.Copy !req
1732. - 20.
- 50 percent.Copy !req
1733. - SevenCopy !req
1734. - 11.Copy !req
1735. - Avogadro's number.Copy !req
1736. - Newman.Copy !req
1737. - Five, four, three, two, one, zero!Copy !req
1738. - Whoo, it's great!Copy !req
1739. - Mom?Copy !req
1740. - What's all the racket?Copy !req
1741. - Her thermometer popped up, she's done!Copy !req
1742. - It's delicious.Copy !req
1743. - Oh, great,
they've moved the movieCopy !req
1744. into the basement.Copy !req
1745. They're really reaching now.Copy !req
1746. - Here in the wine cellar
of Ernest and Julio Gallo,Copy !req
1747. all the best.Copy !req
1748. - Uh, this will be the
boy's room over here.Copy !req
1749. - Eight hours on the dot.Copy !req
1750. - Well, good night.Copy !req
1751. - This is it.Copy !req
1752. - Now, let's, uh, hum,
door's kinda tough, it, uh—Copy !req
1753. Oh, see, it pulls out, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1754. - Ew.Copy !req
1755. - Oh, crap, again?Copy !req
1756. - Ew.Copy !req
1757. - No, no, it can't be.Copy !req
1758. - Yes, it can.Copy !req
1759. - Ew, yecch!Copy !req
1760. - Oh, no, she looks like me.Copy !req
1761. - How could this have happened?Copy !req
1762. I took every precaution.Copy !req
1763. - Washed my hands and—Copy !req
1764. Medical school, that's it, medical school!Copy !req
1765. - Cripes, I've turned her into a Sleestak.Copy !req
1766. - Put that side against the wall.Copy !req
1767. - Well, dear, I've got some bad news.Copy !req
1768. Your modeling career is down the toilet.Copy !req
1769. - Uh, mind if I skip dinner,
I'm a bit off my food.Copy !req
1770. - Well, may I say how sorry I am.Copy !req
1771. A small mistake with your chart.Copy !req
1772. Look on the bright side, uh.Copy !req
1773. - Don't be discouraged, Charles.Copy !req
1774. You'll succeed.Copy !req
1775. All these years of study and hard workCopy !req
1776. can't go unrewarded.Copy !req
1777. - Yeah, er, whatever.Copy !req
1778. - Yecch.Copy !req
1779. - Good morning, Grace, Mark.Copy !req
1780. - Good morning, Doctor.Copy !req
1781. - Doc.Copy !req
1782. I'm going on upstairs.Copy !req
1783. Grace, I'll see you—Copy !req
1784. - Paul Bunyan, where's your blue ox?Copy !req
1785. - Will you come into the
common room, my dear?Copy !req
1786. I need to talk to you.Copy !req
1787. - Uh-oh.Copy !req
1788. Nice.Copy !req
1789. - My dear.Copy !req
1790. You're to be congratulated.Copy !req
1791. Your condition has improved.Copy !req
1792. If you continue in this manner you'll beCopy !req
1793. entirely well in no time.Copy !req
1794. - I hope so.Copy !req
1795. - Come and sit down.Copy !req
1796. - Ethan Allen.Copy !req
1797. - Tell me, Grace.Copy !req
1798. - Do you care how your skin looks?Copy !req
1799. Look out for the snack bowl!Copy !req
1800. Oof.Copy !req
1801. - What does a young couple talk aboutCopy !req
1802. when they walk in the garden?Copy !req
1803. I'm afraid I'm a little
too old to remember.Copy !req
1804. - Many things.Copy !req
1805. Mostly about Natalie.Copy !req
1806. - Really, what about her?Copy !req
1807. - Mark seems worried about her.Copy !req
1808. - Why?Copy !req
1809. - He seems to think
she's ill or something.Copy !req
1810. - Nonsense, my dear.Copy !req
1811. She made a perfect recovery
and I released her.Copy !req
1812. I took her to the train
this morning myself.Copy !req
1813. She left rather early so she asked meCopy !req
1814. to make her goodbyes.Copy !req
1815. - I'm so happy for her.Copy !req
1816. - She looks like Irene Ryan, but—Copy !req
1817. - You've made such fine progress,Copy !req
1818. I'd hate to have anything
stand in your way.Copy !req
1819. - Why, John, just pick
a seat and sit down!Copy !req
1820. - I must ask you to limit
your association with Mark.Copy !req
1821. - Why?Copy !req
1822. - Well, this, no matter how I phrase itCopy !req
1823. it will sound harsh to you, but—Copy !req
1824. - I'm a Nazi!Copy !req
1825. Ooh, that does sound harsh, doesn't it?Copy !req
1826. - Dangerous?Copy !req
1827. - Yes, very dangerous.Copy !req
1828. There's no telling what he might do.Copy !req
1829. - I don't understand.Copy !req
1830. - My dear—Copy !req
1831. - Come on, scooch over.Copy !req
1832. - Oh, just get it over
with and sit on my lap.Copy !req
1833. - Mark is a sick man.Copy !req
1834. He's suffering an advanced
persecution complex.Copy !req
1835. Any incident might provoke himCopy !req
1836. to committing an act of violence.Copy !req
1837. I'm watching him carefully
and trying to help.Copy !req
1838. But you must help, too, my dear.Copy !req
1839. - How can I help?Copy !req
1840. - By avoiding any
unnecessary conversation.Copy !req
1841. Then he'll be free of
any entangling emotionCopy !req
1842. which might harm him.Copy !req
1843. - I'll do as you ask, Doctor.Copy !req
1844. - Good.Copy !req
1845. We must look after you, too, my dear.Copy !req
1846. - You're so good to me, Doctor Conway.Copy !req
1847. - As I should be.Copy !req
1848. - I'll scratch her eyes out.Copy !req
1849. - One so lovely as you should haveCopy !req
1850. the understanding and
protection of a friend.Copy !req
1851. But above all, you must disregardCopy !req
1852. anything Mark may tell you.Copy !req
1853. - I understand, Doctor.Copy !req
1854. - Now, I'm just going
to sit on the ottoman,Copy !req
1855. then I'll be done.Copy !req
1856. - I'm glad others think for me.Copy !req
1857. - Just a little bit
nervous, a little bit jumpy.Copy !req
1858. Light, light, light, please.Copy !req
1859. - He looks like the cat
that ate the canary.Copy !req
1860. - Here, use my Ronson, works every time.Copy !req
1861. - Oh, and she just puts it out.Copy !req
1862. What's the point of that?Copy !req
1863. - Leave that girl alone!Copy !req
1864. - What does that mean?Copy !req
1865. - Grace, leave her along!Copy !req
1866. - You're sounding like a jealous woman.Copy !req
1867. - That's exactly what I am, Charles.Copy !req
1868. I love you and I'm not going to haveCopy !req
1869. anything come between us!Copy !req
1870. - This is new.Copy !req
1871. - Sharon, Sharon, two people strivingCopy !req
1872. for such a great scientific achievementCopy !req
1873. should not be quarreling.Copy !req
1874. Nothing should ever come between us.Copy !req
1875. - Except my hand puppet.Copy !req
1876. - Charles.Copy !req
1877. - Yes?Copy !req
1878. - Why can't she be our next subject?Copy !req
1879. She's almost a perfect
specimen and you saidCopy !req
1880. we needed a good subject
for our next experiment.Copy !req
1881. - Not yet.Copy !req
1882. - Why not?Copy !req
1883. - It isn't the right time.Copy !req
1884. But be assured when the time comesCopy !req
1885. I shall not hesitate.Copy !req
1886. - Okay, right time now?Copy !req
1887. Is it time yet?Copy !req
1888. - Now let's join our friends
in another part of the house.Copy !req
1889. - Slow,
slow, clink, clink, slow.Copy !req
1890. - My Dinner with Andre had more locationsCopy !req
1891. than this film.Copy !req
1892. - Nice rec room.Copy !req
1893. No way, foosball, they got everything.Copy !req
1894. - Wow, bumper pool.Copy !req
1895. - Adolf Hitler on vibes.Copy !req
1896. Give me your oboe.Copy !req
1897. Slow, slow, clink, clink.Copy !req
1898. - And a sub-basement.Copy !req
1899. I could put a workshop down here!Copy !req
1900. - You know, as long as I'm down hereCopy !req
1901. I'll bring up some corn
relish and some of thatCopy !req
1902. bread-and-butter pickle
stuff, and watermelon rindCopy !req
1903. pickles, those are so good.Copy !req
1904. - Oh, I love those, those are really good.Copy !req
1905. And some pickled eggs, maybe.Copy !req
1906. - Some pickled punts.Copy !req
1907. - Mrs. Bates?Copy !req
1908. Mrs. Bates?Copy !req
1909. - Norman?Copy !req
1910. - I think he's looking for Dave Lennox.Copy !req
1911. - Oh, of course, that would follow.Copy !req
1912. - Looks kinda like David Janssen.Copy !req
1913. Uh,
gah, can't get the door open.Copy !req
1914. Oh, Sam, you're in there.Copy !req
1915. - Well, I had one
of these when I was a kid.Copy !req
1916. It's, uh, Grandpa, I think.Copy !req
1917. Herman, turn the light off,Copy !req
1918. I'm resting.Copy !req
1919. - Yeah, those Minnesotans are so stoic.Copy !req
1920. - Well, I thought that would scare meCopy !req
1921. a lot worse than it did.Copy !req
1922. I was pretty cool through that,Copy !req
1923. but I'll probably have bad dreams.Copy !req
1924. - Good thing there's a
dissolve on the staircase,Copy !req
1925. makes it easier.Copy !req
1926. - Uh, we knock in this movie.Copy !req
1927. - What do you want?Copy !req
1928. - Two guesses.Copy !req
1929. - I'm sorry to break in like this,Copy !req
1930. but it's my only chance to proveCopy !req
1931. I'm telling you the truth.Copy !req
1932. - Please get out!Copy !req
1933. - Don't you understand,
I'm trying to help you.Copy !req
1934. Look, I've got positive proof,
proof you'll have to believe.Copy !req
1935. - Please leave me alone.Copy !req
1936. - Look, I don't have
time to argue with you.Copy !req
1937. Here, put on this robe and come with me.Copy !req
1938. - While strolling through park one day.Copy !req
1939. - Before this night's overCopy !req
1940. you're gonna be convinced I'm right.Copy !req
1941. - What is this, the Three
Stooges all of a sudden?Copy !req
1942. - There was a man here
not ten minutes ago.Copy !req
1943. - Mark, please take me back upstairs.Copy !req
1944. - I tell you he was right here!Copy !req
1945. - Mark, this is getting boring.Copy !req
1946. - Mark, please.Copy !req
1947. - No, Grace, not until we find that guy.Copy !req
1948. - Cover your shame.Copy !req
1949. - You know, I do love these FantaSuites.Copy !req
1950. Are we in the Jungle
Room or the Tarzan Room?Copy !req
1951. - You gotta admit, it's
really creepy down here.Copy !req
1952. - Creepy, creepy.Copy !req
1953. - Creeperelli.Copy !req
1954. - Creeperooni.Copy !req
1955. - Creep-a-deep-a-deep-deep.Copy !req
1956. - Ooh.Copy !req
1957. - Natalie, it's Natalie!Copy !req
1958. - Sissy Spacek.Copy !req
1959. - Oh, now I really am hotter than her.Copy !req
1960. - Yeah, that's Natalie.Copy !req
1961. - Natalie Weird.Copy !req
1962. - It's horrible.Copy !req
1963. - She's been jerked.Copy !req
1964. - Easy now, you've gotta
take hold of yourself.Copy !req
1965. I'm sorry you had to see her like this,Copy !req
1966. but now maybe you'll believe me.Copy !req
1967. - How could he?Copy !req
1968. - Well, I guess he had some
extra mozzarella lying around.Copy !req
1969. - Gonna make some garlic face.Copy !req
1970. - Yeah, uh, close the
door, it'll keep her fresh.Copy !req
1971. At least keep the odor in.Copy !req
1972. - Oh, I'm really tired, good night.Copy !req
1973. - Oh, Natalie.Copy !req
1974. - Grace, Grace, we haven't
time to think about that now.Copy !req
1975. We've gotta figure some way
to get you out of this house.Copy !req
1976. - How about the front door?Copy !req
1977. - I'm sorry.Copy !req
1978. - I know.Copy !req
1979. Now, listen.Copy !req
1980. When I go out of this
room you lock the doorCopy !req
1981. and don't open it for anybodyCopy !req
1982. until I get back, you
understand, not for anybody!Copy !req
1983. - I won't, Mark.Copy !req
1984. - I'll look like me.Copy !req
1985. - Oh, we gotta go.Copy !req
1986. - Lock the door.Copy !req
1987. - Lock your car, take your keys.Copy !req
1988. - What in the wo—Copy !req
1989. Oh, you guys.Copy !req
1990. - We're zany, which results in creativity.Copy !req
1991. - Yeah, we thought we could shake offCopy !req
1992. our own cabin fever by
playing a little game.Copy !req
1993. - Yeah, but most of our games
are missing their pieces.Copy !req
1994. - So we combined them.Copy !req
1995. - To make our own game
based on this week's movie.Copy !req
1996. Wanna help us play a game?Copy !req
1997. - Sure, what can I do?Copy !req
1998. - Well, we're all set up.Copy !req
1999. You can read the directions.Copy !req
2000. - Yeah.
- Oh, these, okay.Copy !req
2001. All right.Copy !req
2002. I can tell you guys
put these, it's kind ofCopy !req
2003. an amalgam of a bunch of
different instructions.Copy !req
2004. Okay, got you.Copy !req
2005. Equipment.Copy !req
2006. Game board showing the many roomsCopy !req
2007. of John Carradine's unearthly
mansion, that looks good.Copy !req
2008. - All done.Copy !req
2009. - Okay, each player chooses
a colored token or marker.Copy !req
2010. - Oh, oh, I'm the shoe,
I'm always the shoe,Copy !req
2011. dibs on the shoe!Copy !req
2012. - I get the iron, I
want the pig this time.Copy !req
2013. - You're the iron, and I'll be
playing my Captain Kirk kingCopy !req
2014. from my Franklin Mint
Collection chess set.Copy !req
2015. - I forgot about that one.Copy !req
2016. - It's the only piece he got.Copy !req
2017. - Firsties, we want the firsties now.Copy !req
2018. - Okay, right, each player rolls the diceCopy !req
2019. in the Tor Johnson Pop-o-matic.Copy !req
2020. After the first player has been selectedCopy !req
2021. but before you remove his pituitary glandCopy !req
2022. the player to his or
her left loses one turnCopy !req
2023. and then proceeds to go.Copy !req
2024. - So we can roll now.Copy !req
2025. - Let's go right into it.Copy !req
2026. - Each player starts out
with a billion dollarsCopy !req
2027. and half a dozen hotels,
but immediately loses themCopy !req
2028. when they dump Ivana for Marla.Copy !req
2029. - So let's go, let's
go, let's roll the dice.Copy !req
2030. - The player landing on
a plot-stopper squareCopy !req
2031. must go back to the beginning of the movieCopy !req
2032. or play the organ for five minutes.Copy !req
2033. All players must stay within
the boundaries of the house.Copy !req
2034. Players going outside
the house or in any wayCopy !req
2035. suggesting another location
put the film over budgetCopy !req
2036. and must forfeit one
turn and pay the playerCopy !req
2037. to his or her right the sum not equal toCopy !req
2038. net points made on the
back end of the deal.Copy !req
2039. - Okay, let's roll, roll,
you go, Pop-o-matic!Copy !req
2040. Roll the—
- No, hold on.Copy !req
2041. Players caught on the
stairway lose one turn.Copy !req
2042. Players caught in a meaningless two-shotCopy !req
2043. with John Carradine lose one turn.Copy !req
2044. Players who lose one turn—Copy !req
2045. - Lose one turn.Copy !req
2046. - Okay, here we go!
- Let's go.Copy !req
2047. - Wait a second.Copy !req
2048. Players who lose the breakfast argumentCopy !req
2049. with the Palooka advance
to the woman's bedroom,Copy !req
2050. Palookas making advances on the woman—Copy !req
2051. - Lose one turn.Copy !req
2052. - Thank you, Joel, you
know, we wrote these rules,Copy !req
2053. so we know them, we can
just get to them as we go.Copy !req
2054. Let's go!Copy !req
2055. - Here we go, whoo, whoo!Copy !req
2056. - Hold on.Copy !req
2057. Dialog cards.Copy !req
2058. - This is gonna take ten minutes.Copy !req
2059. - Players landing on the
dialog box must draw one card.Copy !req
2060. Players must then read
a passage of dialog.Copy !req
2061. - Yeah, but you don't
need to do that, 'cause—Copy !req
2062. - We'll do that when we get to it.Copy !req
2063. When we come around to the dialog cards—Copy !req
2064. - We'll land on that square and then—Copy !req
2065. - Oh, my God.Copy !req
2066. - Okay, hold on, here it is.Copy !req
2067. Here we go.Copy !req
2068. As John Carradine.Copy !req
2069. Let's see here.Copy !req
2070. I'm glad to hear you're willing to help.Copy !req
2071. You're a clever young man, I've decidedCopy !req
2072. you can be of assistance to me.Copy !req
2073. - Pretty good Carradine.
- Yeah.Copy !req
2074. - I'm real handy to
have around, especiallyCopy !req
2075. if you need someone to
bandage a gunshot wound.Copy !req
2076. John Carradine.Copy !req
2077. That's not exactly what I had
in mind, I said last night—Copy !req
2078. - Come on, let's play!Copy !req
2079. - Hey, Joel, the commercial
sign light is flashing.Copy !req
2080. - Let's just play the game,Copy !req
2081. what could be so wrong with just—Copy !req
2082. - Oh, let's just leave.Copy !req
2083. - I gave my life to a project
that most scientists—Copy !req
2084. - Please, Mister, can
we have our ball back?Copy !req
2085. - Beyond the realm of possibility.Copy !req
2086. Believe me, it's not impossible
to the true scientist.Copy !req
2087. - Hey, why didn't you guys wait?Copy !req
2088. - 'Cause you were just
reading and ranting.Copy !req
2089. - Mm, missing a balustrade there.Copy !req
2090. - Tor like new lunchbox.Copy !req
2091. - Tor's wearing a wooden kimono.Copy !req
2092. - Hey, hey, Tor, how come
you're coughin' so bad?Copy !req
2093. - Tor deep into recycling.Copy !req
2094. - Tisket, tasket, green
yellow casket, pun!Copy !req
2095. - Did I just see a casket go by?Copy !req
2096. - Hey, I can't believe it.Copy !req
2097. They're outside!Copy !req
2098. - Whoa!Copy !req
2099. - Under the spreading chestnut treeCopy !req
2100. the village smithy stands.Copy !req
2101. - He's wearing Birkies.Copy !req
2102. - Uh, mulch good for garden.Copy !req
2103. Rich compost.
- Duh, one.Copy !req
2104. Duh, two.Copy !req
2105. - I don't like this place, see?Copy !req
2106. Yeah, gives me the creeps, see?Copy !req
2107. - Yeah, this place gives me the willies.Copy !req
2108. I'm gonna blow.Copy !req
2109. - Uh, two, uh, dog make me lose count.Copy !req
2110. - Mr. Lobo rising.Copy !req
2111. - A-guh-guh-guh-guh,Copy !req
2112. he didn't notice me as
good, huh, I'll just go outCopy !req
2113. and finish his jobs for him,Copy !req
2114. ah, he wouldn't know who did it then.Copy !req
2115. - Ah, back off, you mutt.Copy !req
2116. - Duh, kitty.Copy !req
2117. - Hey, Abe Vigoda!Copy !req
2118. - I'm feeling much better.Copy !req
2119. - Well, what do you know,
I am Ann B. Davis.Copy !req
2120. - That sure was swell.Copy !req
2121. Man, this joint has class.Copy !req
2122. - Duh, back to work.Copy !req
2123. Uh, uh, one, duh, two, alas, poor Yorick,Copy !req
2124. I knew him, Horatio, duh, uh.Copy !req
2125. Two.Copy !req
2126. - This is what happens when
you sign with William Morris.Copy !req
2127. - Two.Copy !req
2128. - Man, this is the life.Copy !req
2129. - Who is it?Copy !req
2130. - Mark.Copy !req
2131. Open up.Copy !req
2132. - It's Jon “Bowzer” Bauman!
- Yeah.Copy !req
2133. - Whaddaya, Whadddaya,
I oughta pop you one.Copy !req
2134. - What do you want?Copy !req
2135. - Danny, let's get one thing straight.Copy !req
2136. - Yeah, you mutton-head.Copy !req
2137. - You're in a jam and I
wanna get you out of it.Copy !req
2138. - Gimme the straight poop.Copy !req
2139. - Yes, you do, now listen to me.Copy !req
2140. - Yeah, what's with the
grabbing, what gives?Copy !req
2141. —Some crazy experiments here, he plansCopy !req
2142. to use all of us as guinea pigs.Copy !req
2143. - Ah, you're cockeyed!Copy !req
2144. - I don't believe it.Copy !req
2145. - All right, don't, but
stop and think, Danny.Copy !req
2146. For once, really think.Copy !req
2147. What's become of Natalie, where is she?Copy !req
2148. - Nah, you're loco, you're screwy.Copy !req
2149. - Now, if I had time
I'd take you downstairsCopy !req
2150. and show you, I've seen her.Copy !req
2151. She's in the cellar and I've
seen what Conway's done to her.Copy !req
2152. He's turned her into a—Copy !req
2153. Well, a God knows what.Copy !req
2154. She's all twisted, her
face looks like somethingCopy !req
2155. out of a nightmare.Copy !req
2156. - Yeah, a real sad-sack, you know?Copy !req
2157. - Why would he do a thing
like that to Natalie?Copy !req
2158. - He's a mean man.Copy !req
2159. - Nothing matters to
Conway but his crazy ideas.Copy !req
2160. And believe me, Danny.Copy !req
2161. He's hoo-doo, I tell you!Copy !req
2162. - Only a sample of what he'll do to you,Copy !req
2163. me, or anybody else he gets his hands on.Copy !req
2164. - Yeah, yeah, he's rotten!Copy !req
2165. - All right.Copy !req
2166. - Come on, let's blow!Copy !req
2167. - All right, well, what
can we do about it?Copy !req
2168. - You can save your neck.Copy !req
2169. You can get out of this
house before it's too late,Copy !req
2170. before Conway turns you into some kindCopy !req
2171. of a horrible freak.Copy !req
2172. - How?Copy !req
2173. - Ah, skip the banter
and get in your skivvies.Copy !req
2174. - How, I've already tried.Copy !req
2175. - I know, but don't worry about that.Copy !req
2176. You do what I tell you,
you'll get out all right.Copy !req
2177. - Yeah, just talk fast, see.Copy !req
2178. - It's 12:45.Copy !req
2179. You go to bed and pretend you're asleep.Copy !req
2180. At exactly two o'clock
you come downstairs.Copy !req
2181. Grace and I will meet you there.Copy !req
2182. - Yeah, sure thing,
shuteye, that's the ticket!Copy !req
2183. - Okay, two o'clock, I'll be there.Copy !req
2184. - Jake!Copy !req
2185. I'll hit the sack and catch some zz's.Copy !req
2186. - You'll be on time?Copy !req
2187. - Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.Copy !req
2188. - You know, stamps are fun.Copy !req
2189. - Hmm, who's playing my Hammond?Copy !req
2190. - Oh, faucet's dripping.Copy !req
2191. - You're not about to start
knocking again, are you?Copy !req
2192. - Yeah, I'll make like
I'm sawing logs.Copy !req
2193. - Hm, he even sleeps crabby.Copy !req
2194. - Chris Isaak!Copy !req
2195. - Nothing, dear, just checking the joists.Copy !req
2196. - Okay, watch the lady, we're gonna switchCopy !req
2197. them around, watch, up!Copy !req
2198. - Oh, that's kinda high
for a bathtub drainer.Copy !req
2199. - Manuel?Copy !req
2200. Polly?Copy !req
2201. - Man, stairs.Copy !req
2202. This movie would have been a lot shorterCopy !req
2203. if they filmed in in a Rambler.Copy !req
2204. - He should just drink a
glass of milk and go to bed.Copy !req
2205. - Somebody's knocking again, I hate that!Copy !req
2206. - He's more confused than we are.Copy !req
2207. - I think I gotta back
up and read the script.Copy !req
2208. - It's like vaudeville in slow motion.Copy !req
2209. - Let's see, scene 13, oh,
let's stop for the day.Copy !req
2210. I'm pooped.Copy !req
2211. - No!Copy !req
2212. - Don't do that, I'm in a horror movieCopy !req
2213. and you sneak up on me!Copy !req
2214. - Have you just been downstairs?Copy !req
2215. - No, I've been in my room, why?Copy !req
2216. - Are you sure?Copy !req
2217. - Of course.Copy !req
2218. Is there something wrong, Charles?Copy !req
2219. - Ah, someone stole the strawberries.Copy !req
2220. - Nothing, nothing at all.Copy !req
2221. - Charles, I'm worried about you.Copy !req
2222. You've been working too hard.Copy !req
2223. - Check out the collar
on Anne Boleyn here.Copy !req
2224. - Is there anything I can do to help you?Copy !req
2225. - Yes, please leave me alone.Copy !req
2226. - Why don't you try to get some rest?Copy !req
2227. You'll feel so much better.Copy !req
2228. - And we can film it.Copy !req
2229. - Perhaps you'd like a glass of warm milk.Copy !req
2230. - I'm not a child, I won't
be pampered or mothered.Copy !req
2231. - I'd like some strawberry
Quik and some Caruso.Copy !req
2232. - You need your rest, Charles.Copy !req
2233. - I need nothing that
I do not wish to need.Copy !req
2234. Good night, Sharon.Copy !req
2235. - Uh, do you wanna unpack
that one for us, Grandpa?Copy !req
2236. - Where's that mug?Copy !req
2237. It's blacker than a
parson's hat down here.Copy !req
2238. Jeepers.Copy !req
2239. - Yeah, I'll give that mug
a shine if he don't show.Copy !req
2240. - And the dolly, man, she
was poured into that dress.Copy !req
2241. - What time is it?Copy !req
2242. - It must be almost time for his meds.Copy !req
2243. - Hey, it's the stiff and his dolly, yeah.Copy !req
2244. - Good boy, Danny.Copy !req
2245. Now listen, you and Grace
take the main road into town.Copy !req
2246. Remember, stay in the shadowsCopy !req
2247. till you're clear of the house—Copy !req
2248. - I'll take the low road and
be in Scotland before ye.Copy !req
2249. - I don't have to tell you both
to move as fast as you can.Copy !req
2250. - What about you, Mark?Copy !req
2251. - I'll make sure Conway doesn't follow.Copy !req
2252. I'll catch up to you later.Copy !req
2253. - You sure you'll be okay?Copy !req
2254. - Yeah, yeah, I'll be
fine, now get outta here.Copy !req
2255. And Danny, take good care of her.Copy !req
2256. - Yeah, she's real sweet, you know.Copy !req
2257. - Well.Copy !req
2258. - So, a make-up party, uh,
how come I'm not invited?Copy !req
2259. —Way to repay my hospitality?Copy !req
2260. Lobo, Sharon.Copy !req
2261. Thank you.Copy !req
2262. - No, thank you.
- Oh, no, thank you.Copy !req
2263. - Thank you.Copy !req
2264. - Would you just—Copy !req
2265. - I admit your scheme was very cleverCopy !req
2266. but I can't enjoy watching
my kindnesses abused.Copy !req
2267. I suppose I should have
turned you over to the policeCopy !req
2268. in the first place.Copy !req
2269. Would it surprise you all to knowCopy !req
2270. that Mark is an escaped killer?Copy !req
2271. And a thief to whom I offered sanctuary?Copy !req
2272. - That wouldn't surprise me.Copy !req
2273. - And as for you, Esmerelda.Copy !req
2274. - The fact that you turned against meCopy !req
2275. is the greatest shock of all.Copy !req
2276. - That could have been
a convincing story, Doc,Copy !req
2277. but now it's too late.Copy !req
2278. - Hey, it's Bob and
Carol and Tor and Alice.Copy !req
2279. - Take them away!Copy !req
2280. Downstairs, Lobo.Copy !req
2281. Sharon, see that they're
secure then join me upstairs.Copy !req
2282. - Yeah, baldy, get that
gat outta my backside.Copy !req
2283. - Not you, my dear.Copy !req
2284. - I have something
special planned for you.Copy !req
2285. - Upstairs.Copy !req
2286. - Slowly.Copy !req
2287. Walk real slow.Copy !req
2288. - That's it.Copy !req
2289. - Hey, we're watching
Down by Law all of a sudden.Copy !req
2290. - Keep them here till I come back.Copy !req
2291. Understand?Copy !req
2292. - Yes, I keep them here
till they get back.Copy !req
2293. - Oh, no.Copy !req
2294. - Danny.Copy !req
2295. Take a look at this.Copy !req
2296. - Take a look at this, Hans.Copy !req
2297. - My mother.Copy !req
2298. - Oh, ecch, thanks for showing me that.Copy !req
2299. - Follow my play, I've got an idea.Copy !req
2300. - Watch yourself.Copy !req
2301. - Sure ting, time for
the old dipsy-doodle.Copy !req
2302. Routine 55.Copy !req
2303. - Seen the sleeping beauty in there?Copy !req
2304. You know, just like in the story book.Copy !req
2305. Where the girl is real
pretty, like Natalie.Copy !req
2306. - Yeah, real attractive gal,
poured into her dress, yeah.Copy !req
2307. - She had a spell put on her
by this giant in a castle.Copy !req
2308. - A giant?Copy !req
2309. - Now, this giant, he's got a bull,Copy !req
2310. and the bull's name is Ferdinand.Copy !req
2311. - Ferdinand?Copy !req
2312. - Yeah.Copy !req
2313. - Tor's hooked on phonics.Copy !req
2314. - He doesn't like the beautiful
red cape that the giant has.Copy !req
2315. So he tries to get it.Copy !req
2316. But the giant, he just takes the capeCopy !req
2317. and he waves it right
in front of the bull.Copy !req
2318. - He's a Tor-eador.Copy !req
2319. - And he rushes right at the cape,Copy !req
2320. but the giant, he just takes the cape,Copy !req
2321. and he throws it over the bull.Copy !req
2322. - You know, that story's got
a better plot than this movie.Copy !req
2323. - Yeah.Copy !req
2324. - Oh, no wound, eh?Copy !req
2325. - Hey, we need a wound, makeup!Copy !req
2326. - Wait, wait, don't leave Tor hanging.Copy !req
2327. What happens to Ferdinand?Copy !req
2328. - Come on, Danny.Copy !req
2329. - Yeah, all right, go
ahead, I'll follow you.Copy !req
2330. - Are you sure you can make it alone?Copy !req
2331. - Yeah, I'll be all right, go on.Copy !req
2332. - Sure, I'm swell, now scram.Copy !req
2333. - She's well under.Copy !req
2334. Prepare her.Copy !req
2335. - Hey, they're gonna give
her a nose like LaToya.Copy !req
2336. - And like Michael.Copy !req
2337. - What's the diff?Copy !req
2338. - Stay right there, Conway.Copy !req
2339. - You think that gun is really necessary?Copy !req
2340. - Yeah, it finishes the ensemble.Copy !req
2341. - It would be so much easier
if you'd put the gun away.Copy !req
2342. - Maybe so, but you keep your
hands on top of the desk.Copy !req
2343. - Very well, Mark.Copy !req
2344. - Wait a minute, pretty girl, young girl,Copy !req
2345. old man, man with a gun!Copy !req
2346. - The situation seems to
have altered slightly.Copy !req
2347. - More than slightly.Copy !req
2348. I've got the gun.Copy !req
2349. - Warm gun, makes me happy.Copy !req
2350. - How long do you think you could go onCopy !req
2351. destroying people before
somebody stopped you?Copy !req
2352. - Oh, I don't know, 20, 30 years.Copy !req
2353. - This from you, a killer.Copy !req
2354. A man hunted by the police.Copy !req
2355. I was about to give the world
the gift of eternal life!Copy !req
2356. - Teach the world to
sing in perfect harmony!Copy !req
2357. - You mutilated innocent human beings,Copy !req
2358. you transformed them
into creatures so hideousCopy !req
2359. they'd be better off dead!Copy !req
2360. - Oui, I did zat.Copy !req
2361. - Who are you to question the
usefulness of my experimentsCopy !req
2362. in relation to the future?Copy !req
2363. - Who are you to judge?Copy !req
2364. I was in Stagecoach and
the Grapes of Wrath!Copy !req
2365. - A happy world about to be thrown openCopy !req
2366. to a humanity that would die.Copy !req
2367. Not you, nor anyone else can stop me!Copy !req
2368. - Save that for the jury.Copy !req
2369. - Ah, save it for the final scene.Copy !req
2370. - Oh, but of course.Copy !req
2371. - You're a bailiff.Copy !req
2372. - I must admit you took me in completely.Copy !req
2373. A policeman, I never thought.Copy !req
2374. - You weren't supposed to.Copy !req
2375. Let's go.Copy !req
2376. - Now I suppose I have no choice.Copy !req
2377. - Now, how often are you
gonna need a button like that?Copy !req
2378. - Well, I got an espresso machineCopy !req
2379. I don't use that much,
but it's nice to have.Copy !req
2380. - You got a point there.Copy !req
2381. - Where did he get his
flashlight, for crying out loud?Copy !req
2382. - A four-track, a waffle
iron, and sausages?Copy !req
2383. They're recording breakfast?Copy !req
2384. - Operator, this is an emergency.Copy !req
2385. Get me the Sheriff's office, quick.Copy !req
2386. - There's an
outside, there's an outside.Copy !req
2387. - Hello, Casey, this is a
Code Three, Lt. Houston.Copy !req
2388. - Jim, Ji-Ji, Jimmy,
Jimmy, put your mother on,Copy !req
2389. no, no, don't hang up, Jimmy, no!Copy !req
2390. - Yeah, they know where I
am, now get them rolling!Copy !req
2391. - I'm in love with myself, I love me.Copy !req
2392. - Van Damme and Van Damme
in Van Damme Yankees.Copy !req
2393. - But it's Confusovision again.Copy !req
2394. - It's working.Copy !req
2395. - There's a scientist on a spree,Copy !req
2396. and he's skinny as can be!Copy !req
2397. - Oh, nuts, Lobo has the keys!Copy !req
2398. - Well, go on inside
and get a coathanger, come on.Copy !req
2399. - I have no idea where
any of these people are.Copy !req
2400. - What's going on?Copy !req
2401. - One Adam-12, movie needs
resuscitation, see the movie.Copy !req
2402. - Regan?
- Yeah.Copy !req
2403. What's the pitch, Mark?Copy !req
2404. - It's Conway, he was out there somewhere.Copy !req
2405. I lost him.Copy !req
2406. - You better split up.Copy !req
2407. Kennedy, you go that way.Copy !req
2408. - And stay off the sauce!Copy !req
2409. - I'm gonna check the house.Copy !req
2410. - All right, good deal.Copy !req
2411. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
2412. - Come on, Otis, you know how to do that.Copy !req
2413. - Otis, come on!Copy !req
2414. - Ah, well, there's, um,
ah, the key to the plot.Copy !req
2415. - Why is that mirror
at belly-button level?Copy !req
2416. - That's a navel-gazer.Copy !req
2417. - No, you're dead!Copy !req
2418. I had you buried!Copy !req
2419. - Oh, well thank you, I
didn't get you anything.Copy !req
2420. - I know you're dead!Copy !req
2421. - I told everybody.Copy !req
2422. - Uh-oh.Copy !req
2423. - That's for the Bach.Copy !req
2424. - Dying is easy, comedy is hard.Copy !req
2425. - Let's dance, I'll lead.Copy !req
2426. Dip, oops.Copy !req
2427. Blame it on the bossa nova.Copy !req
2428. - Lobo!Copy !req
2429. - Regan?Copy !req
2430. - Oh, I dropped it.Copy !req
2431. - Well, it looks like somebody saved us—Copy !req
2432. - Yeah, bring in a meat-bag,Copy !req
2433. put this Palooka in the chiller.Copy !req
2434. - Who's this guy?Copy !req
2435. - Fellow named Jedrow.Copy !req
2436. Conway tried to bury him alive.Copy !req
2437. You know, it's ironic, I
pulled him out of his graveCopy !req
2438. and he ends up like this.Copy !req
2439. - I can sense the irony.Copy !req
2440. - This is Conway's assistant.Copy !req
2441. - Yeah, the milkman found her.Copy !req
2442. - What did you do with Miss Thomas?Copy !req
2443. - She's in the lab.Copy !req
2444. - George, get the cuffs on him.Copy !req
2445. - Captain, you'd better
come down to the cellar.Copy !req
2446. - No!
- No, no, not the cellar!Copy !req
2447. - If I told you, you'd never believe it.Copy !req
2448. - Okay, let's go.Copy !req
2449. - Wipe that chocolate milk off your lip.Copy !req
2450. - My, oh, my, when our—Copy !req
2451. Oh, forget it.Copy !req
2452. - Grace, Grace, wake up, come on.Copy !req
2453. Snap out of it, come on!Copy !req
2454. - Grace before every meal.Copy !req
2455. - Me man.Copy !req
2456. - Oh, it's a test pattern,Copy !req
2457. they temporarily lost their signal.Copy !req
2458. - It's all right.Copy !req
2459. Everything's all right
now, there's nothing moreCopy !req
2460. to worry about.Copy !req
2461. - Sleep!Copy !req
2462. - Oops.Copy !req
2463. - I've checked him, he's dead.Copy !req
2464. - This way, sir.Copy !req
2465. - See there's one in
here, and then I foundCopy !req
2466. another one in here, this place is justCopy !req
2467. crawling with stuff you wouldn't believe.Copy !req
2468. - Hey, there's another movie in here.Copy !req
2469. - Oh, it's the cast for Quest for Fire.Copy !req
2470. They saved the best for last.Copy !req
2471. - Wow, Brian Bosworth and Ben Davidson.Copy !req
2472. Ian Anderson, Aqualung.Copy !req
2473. - What are we gonna do with them?Copy !req
2474. - Get Michael Jackson on the phone.Copy !req
2475. He may want to buy one of these guys.Copy !req
2476. - It's a good thing we have institutionsCopy !req
2477. that'll take good care of themCopy !req
2478. for the rest of their lives.Copy !req
2479. - The birth of the World
Wrestling Federation.Copy !req
2480. - Okay, so who mucks out the cages?Copy !req
2481. - Oh, good lord.Copy !req
2482. - Light a match.Copy !req
2483. - Oh, really.Copy !req
2484. - Uh, let's just pretend
we didn't see this.Copy !req
2485. Think of the paperwork, huh?Copy !req
2486. - It smelled like a monkey houseCopy !req
2487. and then I knew for sure that it was—Copy !req
2488. - Lieutenant, who is this?Copy !req
2489. - My new gal.Copy !req
2490. - Lieutenant?Copy !req
2491. - Captain Regan, this
is Miss Grace Thomas.Copy !req
2492. She was one of Conway's patients.Copy !req
2493. - Grace Thomas?Copy !req
2494. How glad I am to see you, young lady.Copy !req
2495. You had us dragging the bay for two days.Copy !req
2496. We almost had you marked off as a suicide.Copy !req
2497. - Suicide?
- Yeah.Copy !req
2498. - That's a good way to
explain a disappearance.Copy !req
2499. Captain, you'd better get out a pickupCopy !req
2500. on a Dr. Loren Wright.Copy !req
2501. - Got my own pickup right here.Copy !req
2502. - He probably brought the others too.Copy !req
2503. - Yeah, I'll get out a call right away.Copy !req
2504. Come on, Miller, we have
a lot of work to do.Copy !req
2505. - Life's funny, eh?Copy !req
2506. - Lieutenant Houston.Copy !req
2507. - Mark.Copy !req
2508. - Oh, Lieutenant Mark.Copy !req
2509. - Will you please take me home?Copy !req
2510. - Yeah.Copy !req
2511. Yeah, of course, I will,
that's part of my job.Copy !req
2512. - I see.Copy !req
2513. - Hey.Copy !req
2514. - How about breakfast?Copy !req
2515. - Should I call you or just
roll over and nudge you?Copy !req
2516. - Hi, come home, oh—Copy !req
2517. - Let's go!Copy !req
2518. - We have liftoff!Copy !req
2519. - Whoo!Copy !req
2520. - Yes, brought to you by
the people of Cartoon House.Copy !req
2521. - Holy buckets, what a
cock-and-bull, hoodoo picture showCopy !req
2522. that was, eh, fellas?Copy !req
2523. - Boy those all mossbacksCopy !req
2524. give me the jim-jams something awful!Copy !req
2525. - Yeah, I give that honk up the nixie,Copy !req
2526. but hey, we're really
footing it on the lingo, eh?Copy !req
2527. - Yeah, we can sure peg away
with the peddler's French,Copy !req
2528. eh, pal of mine?Copy !req
2529. - Yeah, we're going high-hat
in a big way, fellas, eh?Copy !req
2530. - Sweet and filthy, yeah, whoo!Copy !req
2531. - Yeah, okay, now zip it, you muttonheads.Copy !req
2532. We got a bug letter to sling, okay?Copy !req
2533. - Man, ain't that jake?Copy !req
2534. - Yeah, let's foot it,
boost it, Cambot, okay?Copy !req
2535. Whoo, okay, here we go.Copy !req
2536. It says here, Dear Joe and the Bots—Copy !req
2537. - Hey, that's me!Copy !req
2538. - Okay, button it, you gums, okay.Copy !req
2539. Says here, I have a couple
of questions about Tom Soivo.Copy !req
2540. Foist, why can't we see through Tom's headCopy !req
2541. when you guys ares watchin' the movie?Copy !req
2542. Even though his head is transparent?Copy !req
2543. And second, how can Tom
even watch the movieCopy !req
2544. when he doesn't have any peepers?Copy !req
2545. - Well, don't that beat the Dutch?Copy !req
2546. - Yeah, yeah, I think old laughing-boyCopy !req
2547. is pulling a fast one
on us is what I think.Copy !req
2548. - What gives?Copy !req
2549. I ain't no bad pill, honest, fellows?Copy !req
2550. You've been done up brown!Copy !req
2551. - Ah, cut with the baby act.Copy !req
2552. Come on, Clyde.Copy !req
2553. - So, 'dis mutt was gonna
give us the boost, huh?Copy !req
2554. He's gonna cut up videos with hisCopy !req
2555. old Kelley's, why I outta.Copy !req
2556. - Hey, Crow, routine 27.Copy !req
2557. Ah!Copy !req
2558. Yeah, yeah, we're just
pulling your pants, Gumpy,Copy !req
2559. take it easy.Copy !req
2560. - Boy-o-boy, we really had
you by the fat end, pally.Copy !req
2561. - Ah, you saps—Copy !req
2562. - Hey, hey, foot it, boys.Copy !req
2563. His Nibs is calling on the other line.Copy !req
2564. So what's it to you, Einstein?Copy !req
2565. - Look you bombastic biscuit-boy,Copy !req
2566. any more of this faux Dead End Kids patoisCopy !req
2567. and I'll teach you the real meaning ofCopy !req
2568. Lexaphenasism or—Copy !req
2569. - Hey, Boss, this is good grub.Copy !req
2570. That Padre, he's not a half-bad egg.Copy !req
2571. You know, I could really get
into eating grub like thisCopy !req
2572. if I could be a Junior G-Man.Copy !req
2573. - Frank, why must you always
go on with your little—Copy !req
2574. - Hey, Boss, do your Leo Gorcey.Copy !req
2575. - No, I'm not going do my—Copy !req
2576. - You do a great Leo Gorcey.Copy !req
2577. - No.Copy !req
2578. - He does a great Leo Gorcey.Copy !req
2579. Do your Leo Gorcey.Copy !req
2580. - No, Frank.Copy !req
2581. Frank, once again, I'm going
to have to kill you.Copy !req
2582. - You wanna run that by me one more time?Copy !req
2583. - Run
that by you one more time!Copy !req
2584. Yeah, you know, kill, uh,
boost, ice, whack, scrag,Copy !req
2585. douse, stifle, 86, slip the Roscoe,Copy !req
2586. chill, dust, yank, toss a
little kickshaw, roger—Copy !req