Mystery Science Theater 3000 4x17

1. Hey, hi, welcome to the Satellite of Love.

2. I'm Joel Robinson. These are my robots.

3. I want you to consider the lowly waffle.

4. Joel, it's lunch time, buddy.

5. I'd rather have a Manwich or a baloney sandwich.

6. Oh, nonsense, Tom.

7. Anytime is the right time for waffles.

8. Joel, I think the butter slipped

9. off your stack of waffles, buddy.

10. - Are you feeling okay? - Sure.

11. Commercial sign in 15 seconds.

12. What are you making there, partner?

13. I'm making waffles and save room, magic voice.

14. - I made plenty. - I'll say.

15. Consider the waffle as a fine and suitable

16. alternative to stuffing or potatoes.

17. Because after all, what are waffles but batter?

18. And what's batter but chopped up grain.

19. You know there's tons of stuff you can do with waffles.

20. You can take some peanut butter and syrup,

21. and make a waffle sandwich.

22. Or wrap the hot dog in a waffle

23. - and garnish with ketchup. - Ugh!

24. There's tons you can do.

25. Or maybe some Swiss cheese...

26. Five, four, three, two, commercial sign out.

27. Beans are always good...

28. Well, I like to put chili on mine,

29. for a real south of the border treat.

30. - And if you're really into it, - No...

31. Take some waffle batter and mix it with milk,

32. and you've got a waffle shake.

33. But don't tell the kids it's good for them.

34. Or a delicious spinach waffle

35. with tangy ricotta cheese.

36. Joel, the mad scientists are calling.

37. I've got plenty for them too.

38. I'll get it.

39. Well, Aunt Jemima,

40. this time you've really stepped off the deep end.

41. Frank?

42. Do you shred the Swiss cheese,

43. or just slice it really thin?

44. Frank, this time I'm really going to hurt you.

45. I understand.

46. Why don't you go and get

47. this weeks invention exchange, alright?

48. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

49. You've been very kind to me.

50. Frank, you have no clue.

51. Well, Aunt Jemima,

52. our invention exchange this week,

53. has to do with meat. Frank?

54. Well, you know recently, I've become a vegetarian.

55. And it's worked out great, really.

56. You know, the other day my colon

57. looked up at me and said, Frank, thank you.

58. I said, no thank you.

59. But now what am I gonna do with

60. all the meat I have stored in freezers?

61. I figured, hey, why not bring the meat back to life?

62. That's right, that's why we've

63. invented the meat re-animator.

64. Hook it up Frank.

65. Clear!

66. It's alive! Alive!

67. My corn-fed, Minnesota chicken is alive!

68. You know, I thought this was a good idea.

69. But this is one weird mama-jama.

70. What do you think, Garrick Utley?

71. Chicken waffles?

72. Oh, you're weird.

73. Which results in creativity.

74. Which results in my latest invention exchange.

75. It's a very literal interpretation of the old waffle iron.

76. Let's say you love traditional waffles,

77. but you like the classic simplistic

78. styling of the old pancake.

79. No problem.

80. Just douse it with a little Mrs. Butterworth spray starch.

81. - Like that.

82. Okay, cover with a cloth to avoid burns.

83. - Mm-hmm. - And iron.

84. - Say... - Hey...

85. And?

86. Gee, it turns an ordinary waffle into a flat waffle.

87. And clean-up's a breeze.

88. What do you think, sirs?

89. Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

90. Dear god, what have I done?

91. What the heck is going on up there?

92. Hey, Frank, will these work on waffles?

93. Yeah, I think so.

94. Well, Joel, today's experiment

95. is a little piece of slime from Roger Corman,

96. called Viking Women and the Sea Serpent.

97. But first, a little lesson in home economics.

98. Here's a waffle for you, scarecrow.

99. I just like waffles, that's all.

100. Carried away, I'd say.

101. Titles by Frederick's of Hollywood.

102. Iowa State College, the high school after high school.

103. Psst! Carol, got any shovies?

104. I was boring until I got my toning perm.

105. If I had joined the FFA my life would be complete.

106. I'd till the soil, I'd bail some hay,

107. - and make some— - Wow, quite a hair-do

108. on that gal in the middle.

109. Kay probably can't remember the day or the date.

110. All she remembers is that she was sitting in the study hall.

111. With a loaded gun.

112. Alice was going to town on her physics assignment.

113. Go Alice, go!

114. And Frank...

115. Well, he was busy with his regular routine.

116. Mm-hmm.

117. It was just the usual sort of day.

118. I think I'll get a tattoo.

119. Or was it?

120. She was eating cubes of mescaline Jello.

121. There's the bell for an assembly.

122. Like Pavlov's dogs they salivate at the sound of a bell.

123. This one was for the girls only.

124. - Ohh... - Oh!

125. Nothing too unusual about that.

126. The Chippendales were in town.

127. Kay found a seat.

128. Her favorite, right next to the aisle.

129. In case she barfs. She's got a tender tummy.

130. Whoa, that one.

131. Your period and mine, a lecture.

132. Hmm?

133. Hmm?

134. Hello, am I on? Is this thing on?

135. You wanna look at that, Helen?

136. Today, I'd like to tell you

137. about several girls I know very well.

138. And why I'm being fired.

139. I took several heavy blows to the cheeks with a lead pipe.

140. Were wondering, just as you are,

141. what they would do after completing high school.

142. Let's start with Eveline,

143. who went on to college,

144. where she took a course in home economics.

145. Now she's a tea room manager—

146. Hey her voice changed.

147. Thousands of people who eat out,

148. are her daily customers.

149. You might see her talking to the hostess

150. and never guess she's really the boss.

151. Shut up, Grandma, you're lucky to have a job.

152. Behind the scene,

153. she's the one who makes the final check.

154. And adds that extra touch.

155. Of Salmonella.

156. Ooh, waffles.

157. Kay thought she would like that sort of work.

158. Kay was wrong.

159. She could see herself at the center of a world,

160. made up of large ovens and mixers—

161. And large white-haired ladies.

162. Manned by professional cooks.

163. Gee, what would Mom think of a grocery list like this?

164. She'd laugh.

165. For any woman training in institution management though,

166. it's just like planning the family dinner.

167. That's right I said a full case of vodka.

168. Then one day Kay fiddled with accounts payable,

169. took a long drive into the country

170. and got cabin A, at the Bates Motel.

171. And this is Joanne.

172. In high school, she always helped decorate for the parties.

173. She liked it.

174. - She still decorates. - For Bozo.

175. Gets good pay now for doing it.

176. An applied art major in home economics

177. helped her develop this ability.

178. Kay couldn't resist daydreaming

179. herself into this kind of job.

180. Folks would look to her to help them make a wise choice.

181. She would be asked to go out on appointments,

182. to help people plan lovelier homes.

183. Ah, the swatches for the ponchos I ordered.

184. The speaker told of other girls she knew.

185. - I'm huge. - Real girls, in real jobs.

186. Good jobs. Interesting jobs.

187. Well paid, too.

188. And every one had taken her training in home economics.

189. Including Chad.

190. Some had specialized in foods and nutrition.

191. Others in education, and clothing, also—

192. - Gee, slow down! - Child development—

193. - God! - Rock our film...

194. Applied art, institution management,

195. - Save us. - Journalism.

196. Home economics is all of this and more, too.

197. Damn.

198. For instance...

199. Carol, who is now Mrs. Bill Johnson,

200. took a general home economics course.

201. I don't want my wife working. Get me a beer.

202. Professional employment but, one which fitted her,

203. for that very important career of being Mrs. Johnson.

204. Kay's home would be like this.

205. A dungeon.

206. Mmm.

207. Now what the hell is that?

208. She was glad that her college training

209. had prepared her so well for home life.

210. How much did that cost? Well, bring it back.

211. You must let me dress you.

212. Can I have a feel too?

213. Many times, she didn't even realize

214. that she was using some of the knowledge that she'd gained.

215. And that her knowledge meant so much to her family.

216. That's her husband Jerry, with his new car.

217. Escape. Escape.

218. It wasn't hard for Alice to return to reality.

219. - She just went cold-turkey. - But, as for Kay,

220. - Kay, psst! - Well...

221. Making a dream come true,

222. often depends on a very little thing.

223. Window pane.

224. Hmm, let's see.

225. Day after day she had—

226. Hmm, Our Bodies Ourselves,

227. The Bell Jar, oh here it is.

228. Ghetto Freaks, there it is.

229. Of course, there were things she would have to do.

230. Apply for admission, study the courses and...

231. - Drinking. - Oh, yes.

232. What would Mom and Dad say?

233. Who knows, they only speak German.

234. There was only one way to find out, ask them.

235. This was important.

236. She realized that now, even before they said anything.

237. - She's loaded. - You could tell that Mom

238. and Dad knew it was important too.

239. College for Kay would mean sacrifices

240. - for Mom and Dad. - Human sacrifices.

241. Would it be worth the sacrifice?

242. She consulted Robert McNamara.

243. And Ayn Rand.

244. Do it, sis!

245. Dear Dean Johnson, I couldn't really begin to—

246. So, this was the important day in Kay's life.

247. And it was late at night,

248. when she finally recopied the letter, for the last time.

249. I quiver at the touch of your—

250. She got a real thrill out of dropping that letter in the box.

251. Be cool. Be cool.

252. Come on, be cool, just...

253. Oh, that's good. Now let's get out of here.

254. It's here already!

255. Oh, shoot! I mailed it to myself.

256. Waiting for a reply was harder.

257. It's from Ed McMahon.

258. It says I already may be a winner!

259. Yay!

260. She had months to go, but she just couldn't wait

261. to get out of that stifling home-life.

262. Dear, why are you packing your father's things?

263. So, this is college.

264. So, this is Pod City Vo-Tech.

265. Will have a homey look.

266. Now it was a bit bewildering.

267. Wonder where the tennis courts are.

268. Where would her room be?

269. Who would be her friends?

270. Who would be her blood-enemies?

271. Wonder if she'd ever know her way around here.

272. What secret societies would she join?

273. Would she smoke thin black cigarettes

274. and reject The Triune God?

275. Well, here's the dorm-mother,

276. affectionately known as Horse Face.

277. You lost the draw.

278. You'll be rooming with the Ice Queen.

279. At first it looks bare and not very friendly.

280. Who? Her roommate?

281. Hmm, smells like high-grade weed in here.

282. We'll make a loft out of some railroad ties, under the bed,

283. a Special Export light in the window, and—

284. But with new curtains and bedspread,

285. it doesn't take long to give it a homey feeling,

286. and a bit of college atmosphere.

287. I've got a feeling Mom majored in

288. home economics at Iowa State.

289. Before you know it, it's time for the folks to leave.

290. In all her dreams about college,

291. Kay had never included the moment

292. when Dad and Mom said goodbye,

293. when she would be on her own.

294. See you in four years. Don't call.

295. A friend always, love Dad.

296. Thank god there was no physical contact.

297. Mm-hmm.

298. Mom, Dad, no, no.

299. Well, just leave then!

300. Forget you! I never loved you!

301. Poor kid.

302. Now she'll race down to the

303. Jean-Luc Godard festival at the campus theater.

304. I'm so alone, I don't know what to do.

305. I look at you and I go out of focus.

306. Why does she have a picture of

307. John Carradine on her nightstand?

308. That's Mom. That's Mom.

309. Oh, will you ever accept my Marxist ways?

310. Arrived just when she did.

311. Oh, hi, how you doing?

312. We're gonna have a great time.

313. We're gonna be pals!

314. The usual things.

315. And while they were talking...

316. Two of the ripest tomatoes in town strolled in.

317. Hi, you got a bong?

318. Four girls, Kay and Jean, Helen and Louise.

319. - The group. - For the next four years,

320. they will see a lot of each other.

321. Come on, they just met.

322. Most of their experiences will be shared with each other.

323. Kegs will be tapped. Men will be used.

324. They're strangely drawn to this mystic fountain.

325. The first stroll, with its first impressions.

326. Thank goodness for Head and Shoulders.

327. They stopped at the same places.

328. Three coins in a fountain.

329. They looked at the same scenes.

330. They did the same things that many had done before.

331. There was sameness.

332. College, with its new friendships, its old traditions.

333. - By the end of freshman week,

334. they had begun to feel that this college was their very own.

335. They started by taking over the administration building.

336. Off the pigs. Off the pigs.

337. How do you solve a problem like a college girl.

338. Early October,

339. headed for an eight o'clock class in home-ec hall.

340. Tragedy struck.

341. A lone gunman...

342. Here's the young Judy Chicago.

343. It helped to build up a knowledge of the beauty—

344. Don't sit down!

345. Surprising, how everyone can make such

346. interesting, original designs.

347. While Kay struggles with basic motor-skills.

348. Ooh.

349. And this study of design and color, wasn't all theory.

350. Jean and Helen learned to apply it in their class,

351. on costume design and selection.

352. Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?

353. Watch those Huskies.

354. All the classes seemed to fit together.

355. I love this one, watch this.

356. Even the physics class was what a girl would like.

357. Would you come in here, I need you.

358. It was about physics in the home.

359. This course helps you to understand

360. just what makes things run.

361. Then in household equipment,

362. you could study the practical side.

363. The use of an appliance...

364. Being treated like an appliance.

365. In turn there were courses in foods and nutrition,

366. where you also learn the why...

367. - This is phlegm. - As well as the how.

368. This is mucus.

369. Hey, it's the Woodstock of the 50's.

370. Vic Damone's on next.

371. Play Whipping Post! Woo!

372. Saturday afternoon, football time.

373. I'm a Q-tip. What are you?

374. You were there with all the spirit you had,

375. for your high school team and maybe a little more.

376. Look! Look! Look at my crotch!

377. Look at my crotch! Look at my crotch!

378. Look! Look! Look at my crotch!

379. Looooooook! Look at my crotch!

380. Yay!

381. And afterwards, you met the gang.

382. And you really got slammed, then apologized all day Monday.

383. Hey there's Neal Cassady.

384. I didn't know he went to college.

385. - Only for chicks. - Oh.

386. Hiya, Tank.

387. Hats off to Ray, the whimsical lampshade.

388. After such an occasion,

389. the girls got together for their usual gab session.

390. For a time, they talked of the events of the day.

391. But then, Kay came up with that all-important question.

392. How do Pop-Tarts work?

393. What are you going to major in, Helen?

394. Oh, you know me.

395. Best cook to come out of Foods 204.

396. I'm going to take Foods and Nutrition.

397. Really, I am.

398. I'm gonna marry a lighthouse keeper.

399. I want to be a dietitian.

400. Right, you're gonna be a short-order

401. cook for truckers in two years.

402. Wish I could make up my mind that easy.

403. What are you gonna take, Jean?

404. I'm gonna take Bob for everything he's got.

405. I like to work with fabrics, beautiful clothes—

406. Hey look, it's Lou Costello in drag.

407. Department stores...

408. I'd like to go along with you.

409. But I don't know yet whether I want to

410. work for a household appliance company,

411. or whether to go on with my artwork.

412. Oh, these are the kind of problems you want to have.

413. Do you know what I'm going to do?

414. I'm going to teach.

415. Cause I can't do.

416. Kay went to chat with her adviser.

417. - She learned about— - You wanna what?

418. Opportunities, things she'd never thought of before.

419. Listen to the flowers.

420. They will tell you sweet secrets.

421. High school teaching,

422. nursery school work, for those who like very small children.

423. And for medium sized kids, go to a middle school.

424. And teaching farm families.

425. Would teaching be her career?

426. Or would it be the business world,

427. with its glamorous commercial jobs?

428. And low-paying temp jobs.

429. Would it be public service field?

430. Perhaps a hospital dietitian?

431. Or research, with its look to the future?

432. Yes, there would be all sorts of interesting careers,

433. - and best of all— - Hey look, it's Prince!

434. That's his royal badness,

435. when he was still a chubby little white kid.

436. See him up there, in purple?

437. - Oh, mm-hmm that's a reach. - I'm sorry.

438. College is a timeless period.

439. One year passes into another, very quickly.

440. - Soon you die. - It's good to be back.

441. At the beginning of your junior year,

442. things seem pretty much the same.

443. But this is the year—

444. The National Guardsman were on campus.

445. In your chosen field.

446. Helen, learning to be a hospital dietitian,

447. must be able to plan and serve inviting meals.

448. Plenty of butter, pile it on, good hospital food.

449. Plan well enough to fit a doctors orders,

450. and serve them attractively—

451. Oh, please don't eat the daisies.

452. Mmm, square eggs.

453. She'll also have the problem

454. of feeding large numbers of people.

455. And her fat brother-in-law.

456. That calls for quantity cookery,

457. so you'll find her in classes in institution management.

458. For quality cookery, use the Makery Bakery.

459. Louise, who has her eye on a commercial

460. career in household equipment,

461. is rapidly becoming a technician in her own field.

462. Wiring bombs.

463. The technical comparisons she is making now—

464. Are completely off-base.

465. Firsthand advice on the selection of home appliances.

466. Her knowledge of efficient operation will be passed along—

467. She could never be an engineer.

468. Don't make me laugh. Ha!

469. Now cough.

470. Jean was just as busy in textiles and clothing.

471. Ah, very attractive awning.

472. The world of fabrics and of fashions will be hers.

473. Here, she designs pants for Chuckles the clown.

474. Perhaps she'll be designing the clothing

475. you see pictured in fashion magazines.

476. Oh, I don't know.

477. Perhaps she'll be the person who

478. thought up the patterns you will buy at the store.

479. It's possible.

480. Perhaps she will show you how you can

481. create beautiful clothes for yourself.

482. Or help you chose them at the store.

483. Oh, hi Opal.

484. Jean may even find another use for her talents.

485. By combining her knowledge of art and textiles—

486. She makes tar-heroin.

487. She may follow a career in textile designing.

488. Let's face it, Jean would do anything for a buck.

489. Mm-hmm.

490. The days are filled with other interesting classes too.

491. You would expect to find Kay,

492. with her interest in teaching—

493. - I'm getting light-headed. - Keep going!

494. But Jean is there too.

495. To study children's clothing requirements?

496. Well, yes, but more than that.

497. Home economics means much more than—

498. What? We have to be subjugated to men?

499. The study of everything that makes up a home,

500. including those who live there.

501. The girls learn a lot from the children—

502. Are the kids learning anything?

503. All habits and attitudes learned at this age,

504. are so important in later life.

505. It's too tight! It's too tight!

506. It's calamari, mmm.

507. After all, we live in a world where

508. people are more important than things.

509. Oh, I don't know.

510. Yes, college is a rich—

511. It says piggy on the wall.

512. - Where? - Over there.

513. You tell Mom and Dad about the little events.

514. One little boy was just darling.

515. I really like that class.

516. And keep the important stuff to yourself.

517. - And the big ones, too. - Oh.

518. Tonight is the big prom.

519. - I'm wearing my new— - Everyone will die.

520. I will dump pig's blood on Carrie.

521. You know, she's gonna look like

522. an unmade bed, in that dress.

523. Each good time that you had,

524. mingled with the memories of other good times.

525. And makes a delicous gravy.

526. You'll never forget them.

527. They were the glittering threads,

528. woven through the very pattern of college life.

529. Here, a little sample of each of her victims.

530. That's Bob, and Carl, and Steve.

531. Being a senior wasn't much different from being a junior.

532. Student teaching was in line for Kay.

533. But Kay was out of line with student teaching.

534. And Jean was busier than ever,

535. in her advanced courses in textils and clothing.

536. She hasn't left this room in years.

537. Helen was deep in studies on food buymanship, getting her

538. - money's worth, that is. - Grocery shopping.

539. One of the many things she'll be doing next year—

540. Let's see 30 grams to an ounce.

541. Hey, is this raw or refined?

542. - Sugar. - And Louise...

543. Wouldn't you know she'd be in

544. a household equipment laboratory.

545. No, don't give up!

546. Home economics, starring Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

547. What is home economics?

548. Boy, you'd think they would've told us by now.

549. Is it the technical knowledge of the equipment in a home?

550. I don't think so.

551. Or the understanding of how to create beautiful clothes—

552. Mmm, no, no, that's not it.

553. Is it the skill to prepare an attractive nourishing meal?

554. - Maybe. - Or the ability

555. to teach others these many things?

556. Is it for all time, this feeling of joy?

557. Home economics is all these and more too.

558. To put it another way, each girl—

559. - Hey it's Abbey Road. - Two careers.

560. Boy, you're gonna carry that wieght.

561. One, her chosen specialty.

562. The other is a career in homemaking.

563. Here we come,

564. walking down the street.

565. And so, as a special part of their training,

566. the senior girls actually share—

567. There are only six seniors?

568. First of all, the girls met their adviser,

569. and decided how they were going to take turns

570. at managing all the household tasks.

571. Here Carol Bly explains her principles.

572. This was no make-believe situation.

573. With eight hungry persons to feed,

574. Jean would have to draw on the knowledge

575. she'd gained in basic courses in foods and in equipment.

576. She had to steal from every grocery store in town,

577. as part of her hazing.

578. As for planning an attractive meal—

579. Forget it.

580. That should be easy for a girl,

581. with special talent in color and design.

582. But no, not for this woman.

583. Kay too would draw on her knowledge of

584. household equipment and textiles—

585. K2, the mountain?

586. To take care of her turn in the laundry.

587. Oh no! You put the laundry in the composting toilet!

588. Louise, for a few days,

589. would have the most envied task in the house.

590. Sooner or later, everything and anything you would

591. learn in your home economics courses, would prove useful.

592. That's a good one.

593. And then she said you're soaking in it.

594. Let me call you sweetheart.

595. Life in the home management house is very homey.

596. Somehow you wish it would never end.

597. And some of the happenings, you will never forget.

598. Don't open the box.

599. The five pound party that Beth had—

600. Five pound potty?

601. She had a big breakfast, didn't she?

602. - I guess so. - My goodness.

603. It's a wonderful world when you're married.

604. When you have a family.

605. The days roll by.

606. And even before school is out,

607. you have a new topic of conversation,

608. getting your first job, through the placement office.

609. Meeting with Helen Gurley Brown.

610. Yes, Kay, the teacher placement office

611. tells me they're getting requests every day.

612. Jean, I think this job—

613. Oh, she's a quick-change artist.

614. This will be very interesting to you.

615. - Huzzah! - This letter has just come in,

616. telling us that you've been accepted

617. for your hosipital internship.

618. You'll be emptying bed-pans soon.

619. Yes, Louise would be happy to accept the position.

620. - Akiba. - Hmm?

621. Graduation...

622. Hot and saucy, Texas style.

623. Mom and Dad were there, of course.

624. They didn't say much,

625. but you knew they were pleased—

626. Estes Kefauver!

627. They left early.

628. Some remark about he sure had earned his diploma.

629. Dad just doesn't get it.

630. Jean and Louise were leaving at once,

631. for their jobs in the city.

632. So you all drove down to the train to see them off.

633. And to reenact the last scene from Anna Karenina.

634. As you stood there on the platform,

635. wishing each other the very best of good fortune...

636. You know you didn't mean it.

637. Somehow the talk got around to that very—

638. Speaking of wishing farewell, let's roll.

639. And then you could sense that this was

640. the end of one chapter in your life—

641. Chapters the editor just spiced up a bit.

642. - I'm coming. I'm coming. - Better those than waffles.

643. You wouldn't have missed.

644. Okay, now take it easy.

645. Whoa, whoa, hold it up.

646. What I've done was reprogram the robots

647. to love waffles as much as I do.

648. Can you see?

649. And what we're gonna do

650. is name some important new uses

651. for waffles during this segment.

652. Okay, who's got one?

653. Easy to read waffles within large squares,

654. for the flavor impaired.

655. That's good, take it easy.

656. Can I eat them now?

657. Buckwheat waffles make an excellent

658. shammy for cleaning your car.

659. Dr. Shoals waffle pad?

660. Yeah, oh yeah.

661. Oh, okay. Well, anyway, now careful.

662. These are just for demonstration.

663. It would be too bad if the robots got too into it.

664. I've always been a breakfast man, myself.

665. You know me.

666. Crow, we should really be working on the assignment.

667. - Yes. - But these look so good.

668. What a taste teaser.

669. What does this mean Aunt Jemima's

670. gonna come put a waffle in Gypsy's hand?

671. Take it easy.

672. It would be too bad if you robots

673. were unable to complete your task

674. because you were too in love

675. with this big, juicy stack of yummy nummies.

676. Crow, Crow, get a grip.

677. Gypsy, don't you see what he's trying to do?

678. Snap out of it, come on!

679. Remember the waffle ideas.

680. Waffle dress shield.

681. Waffle desk organizer.

682. Come on, work the steps with me!

683. Hollywood Squares waffle

684. Wally Cox in the secret square waffle like sweet—

685. Joel, I tried buddy.

686. That's okay, Tom.

687. Can you just give me one?

688. Okay, acoustic tiles.

689. - Go ahead, Tom. - Here comes Tom Servo!

690. How about a Greek waffle called the falafel.

691. Put me down.

692. I was just trying to get the syrup off you.

693. Hey look, All My Vikings.

694. Hey, that's my old high school yearbook.

695. Eric's small cigars.

696. You know what?

697. People who have leather-bound books,

698. they never read them.

699. The Saga of the Viking Women

700. and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent

701. is brought to you by a grant from the Mobile corporation.

702. And Dalton Trumbo as Eric the red.

703. Dalton? Oh.

704. With the June Kenney dancers.

705. Plus Wilfrid Hyde-White,

706. as the uncredited cameo appearance.

707. Oh, bravo.

708. Wilda Taylor, wasn't she in Sweet Mud Honey?

709. Oh, and here's a couple of guys

710. from a hearty Norwegian stock.

711. From a story by the writer's block.

712. Oh look, the great Monroe P. Askins.

713. All the snooties are on this page.

714. Kinda sounds like a Mazola corn oil commercial.

715. Corn good, yes.

716. A Japanese art director? No!

717. It's okay.

718. Albert Glasser! Bravo!

719. Yay!

720. Albert Glasser, paging Albert Glasser.

721. Jack Rabin, foams at the mouth a lot.

722. Aww.

723. I like him.

724. Corman the barbarian.

725. Corman the employer.

726. Mm-hmm

727. In the days when the world was young,

728. Frodo...

729. And the gods had not yet abandonded the race of men...

730. Gildor and Stryder took Frodo to Rivendell.

731. The great and stalwart people.

732. I'm ashamed to know that.

733. Smoking rich, robust pipe tobacco.

734. Forbidding mountains could

735. no longer yeild them a livelyhood.

736. They bade farewell to their women.

737. Bad?

738. And ventured fearlessly into the unknown.

739. But like most men, they got lost

740. and refused to ask for directions.

741. Three years...

742. A band of brave women gather,

743. to decide whether they should

744. embark on a search for their men.

745. - Ah, screw it. - They cast their votes,

746. in typical Viking fashion.

747. I vote we go.

748. We stay.

749. - I'll stay, I'm in. - No.

750. Yes.

751. Ooh, I hope they start wrestling.

752. Here's Martina, watch out for that forehand.

753. Oh, be careful with that rotator cuff.

754. The gods have been offended.

755. It's an omen of disaster.

756. It's a calamity!

757. That's enough.

758. I'm ashamed of the women of Stonyold.

759. This was your proposal, Desir, not ours.

760. Oh, I think I found my favorite.

761. Do you wish to die unloved?

762. Connie Sellecca?

763. We cannot go against our fate.

764. The gods are angry.

765. The gods are angry only at those who cower in fear.

766. Vikings make their own fate.

767. And their own apple sauce.

768. Oh, Vikings always fade in the second half.

769. How long has it been since our men sailed across the sea?

770. - Two perms ago. - How long have you

771. waited on the cold cliffs,

772. for a sight of their returning sail?

773. In vain.

774. Let's put it this way,

775. you're starting to look pretty good to me.

776. Is it too much to ask the maidens of Stonyold

777. to help their people?

778. Is that so wrong?

779. if you need an omen...

780. Let's see, omen, omen, where'd I put it?

781. - Look! - Oh, yeah.

782. It is balloon!

783. It's a cloud.

784. Looks like a bunny.

785. They need us, as we need them.

786. Like a fish needs a bicycle.

787. Now we do lawn darts.

788. Thyra, you vote to go?

789. Yet you have no lover over seas.

790. Am I likely to find one here?

791. Can I vote again? I wanna vote again.

792. Wouldn't a show of hands be easier?

793. You must decide for yourself, little sister.

794. Little sister, don't you do what your big sister done.

795. The windup, the pitch...

796. Triple 19, that's the game.

797. Wow.

798. To please her sister, Asmild will destroy us all.

799. Her sister's kinda spooky, isn't she?

800. Maybe not.

801. See who's casting the deciding spear.

802. It's Kate Bush.

803. Hounds of love.

804. How do you think our dark priestess will vote?

805. How do you handle a hungry man?

806. She hates Desir and wants her man.

807. Oh, a southpaw. Never trust a lefty.

808. It's a lady of the javelin.

809. You vote to go?

810. Well, she's not coming in my car.

811. Did you try to do that?

812. Thank you, Enger.

813. For making us laugh again.

814. I want no thanks.

815. The decision is made.

816. Come, there's work to be done.

817. Geepers, I guess we know who turns the screws, yipes.

818. Hey, Todd, nice button collection.

819. Aren't you glad she voted to go?

820. Yes, but why did she do it?

821. Oh, Ottar, you're always so suspicious.

822. He must be 4-F.

823. I'm glad she's with us.

824. Looks like a waffle.

825. Desir, I'm going with you.

826. No, Ottar.

827. There's no need for you to take the risk.

828. Anyway, you'd never pass the physical.

829. I spoke brave words.

830. But I know we face great danger.

831. Great Danes?

832. Well, it's a strange day

833. when Enger the dark gave the cause of Desir.

834. What's that supposed to mean?

835. She had a good idea.

836. On paper, anyway.

837. Oh, come my dear.

838. Don't tell me you'd do anything to help Desir.

839. I think I understand.

840. If at the end of the voyage,

841. Vedric holds out his arms,

842. and his flaxen haired beauty is not there to unfold in them,

843. perhaps the chief will look elesewhere for comfort.

844. Was that an alegory or an extended metaphor?

845. Those may be your thoughts, Dagda,

846. - but I say nothing. - She's wearing a lady Timex.

847. So the Vikings gave us the under-wire bra.

848. Gonna see Ms. Liza.

849. Hey, I just had this dream.

850. Hmm?

851. You know, these new prefab Viking ships are great.

852. After having won the spirit jug,

853. the bulletin board competition and the skip night,

854. the plucky girls now will dip into the float competition.

855. Just like Iwo Jima.

856. Oh, wow, man.

857. And they named the ship the Andrea what?

858. Doria, Doria.

859. Break out the hot dish, I got bars.

860. What about the christening?

861. If this were reality, they'd still be

862. waiting for each other to get ready.

863. Uh-oh.

864. This is going well, so far.

865. Run! Run!

866. Quick, get that oar in the water!

867. You don't have an oar in the water,

868. if you know what I mean.

869. I'm getting it now!

870. Come on. Come on.

871. Come here. Come here.

872. Come on, get in dummy.

873. You alright?

874. Desir, this is hopeless.

875. We can't handle this boat with just an oar.

876. We've go to.

877. Well, no sense swimming 20 feet back to get it.

878. Hey, I've got a wild idea. Let's put on a show.

879. Oh, they got that dragon in Tijuana.

880. Albert Glasser at his best.

881. Say, look at the prow on that steamer.

882. Hey, let's climb aboard.

883. It's not the size of the boat.

884. It's the motion of the ocean.

885. - Oh. - Mm-hmm.

886. Now you'll be warm, little sister.

887. What would I do without you?

888. Well, you could wear a coat.

889. Go to sleep.

890. Do you really think we'll ever find the men?

891. Of course we will, Asmild.

892. That's what these cruises are for, dear.

893. Then Vedric will ask you to marry him.

894. Yes, he will.

895. What is it like to love a man as you love Vedric?

896. Know what I mean? Nudge Nudge. Wink. Wink.

897. What it really means.

898. Some day you'll know.

899. He'll give me a ring of betrothal.

900. And claim me forever as his own.

901. As a tax deduction.

902. I'm a bear. I'm a bog old bear.

903. Yeah, this is getting weird, you guys.

904. There's a silouette of theater seats in front of that movie.

905. Ottar, what are you doing here?

906. And you're wearing my things!

907. What are you doing here?

908. Starving. Have you got any extra food?

909. Yes.

910. Don't tell the others I'm here, please.

911. We're still too close to shore.

912. They might decide to take me back.

913. Todd! Hey, he's looking up her dress.

914. Hi, how you doing?

915. You, know I hate men, don't you?

916. Isn't Todd just a jerk?

917. Something bothering you Thyra?

918. Oh, I was just fixing these ropes.

919. Oh, I thought I heard you talking to yourself.

920. I guess I do that sometimes.

921. Well, see that it stops.

922. I just wanted another fur.

923. Well, why don't you take this one?

924. These are still wet from the spray.

925. I told you to hang off further.

926. How long have you been a Viking?

927. All clear.

928. Hey, got any rye crisps? I'm starved.

929. She gives me the creeps.

930. You and me both.

931. Where's the food?

932. Oh, can I get you a beer too?

933. Is that all you men think about?

934. Help yourself.

935. It's Todd Knotts, as the reluctant Viking.

936. Ottar, why did you stow away?

937. Somebody has to protect you women.

938. It's ridiculous not to have a man

939. along on a dangerous voyage.

940. Or at least a patron of the arts, anyhow.

941. Ridiculous not to have a man.

942. - Thyra? - Hmm?

943. This kipper stinks.

944. When I saw you, I thought it was over for me.

945. Lucky I recognized you in time.

946. I'd have my dagger in your throat.

947. Ooh!

948. I didn't mean that.

949. It's just that I didn't think you'd

950. protect me from Enger the way that you did.

951. You've always seemed so forbidding,

952. that I've always been afraid to talk to you.

953. Kinda like Mom.

954. There's nothing to be afraid of.

955. Come on.

956. - Get in. - Get some sleep.

957. - Good night. - Tuck me in,

958. and call me a bad boy, please?

959. Oh, I can't breathe.

960. How do bears live in these things? Gee!

961. Go to sleep, my sweet Todd.

962. Hey, wait a minute.

963. The women of Green Peace.

964. Look, it's a monster!

965. It's a sea serpent!

966. No, we're whales! Save us! Save us!

967. Women, you'd think they never saw a whale before.

968. Who let you out of your skin?

969. They haven't, Ottar.

970. Not everyone is as well-traveled as you.

971. Or as... Oh, never mind.

972. Get these swords polished.

973. Stow aways must work for their passage.

974. Nevertheless, some day you'll be glad I came along.

975. Why must they laugh at my mighty sword?

976. Two years before them mast.

977. I'm voguing.

978. Hmm, it's a big ship.

979. Nobody will see me doing this.

980. We think the joke will be on Sanda.

981. Oh!

982. Are you hurt?

983. The yard. The line must've slipped.

984. This couldn't have slipped.

985. I made it fast, myself.

986. That's why it did slip.

987. You alright?

988. Never mind, let's just get the sail back up.

989. Look there's a sale at Penny's.

990. - Get it? - Yeah.

991. I am hot. I turn myself on.

992. This looks like a job for Superman.

993. Wait, she takes the belt off, but leaves those heavy chains.

994. That'll sink her to the bottom, for sure.

995. Head first.

996. Person overboard!

997. Diana Nyad is attempting to swim the channel again.

998. Oh, look, it says S.S. Minnow on it.

999. Flipper, no!

1000. It's okay, just do what Harvey Mackay says!

1001. Swim with the sharks!

1002. That's a book reference, isn't it?

1003. Right.

1004. That's not a shark, it's a rock lobster!

1005. That's a rock reference, isn't it?

1006. Mm-hmm.

1007. We're gonna get a bigger bait, right?

1008. - You alright? - That's a movie reference.

1009. Yeah.

1010. Look there!

1011. Oh, no! It's the rinse cycle!

1012. It can't be.

1013. I always thought it was just a sailor's tale.

1014. But it's true.

1015. Let's get out of here!

1016. Man the oars!

1017. Or woman the oars, as the case may be.

1018. We're drifting into it!

1019. Huh?

1020. Make a dam, Shawn!

1021. That's what I thought he said.

1022. And that brochure said old-world charm, pooey!

1023. Her job was to look ravished.

1024. Call me Ishmael.

1025. Todd Ishmael.

1026. This is actually pretty extravegant for Corman.

1027. Yeah, sure is.

1028. I'm your boyfriend now.

1029. Oh, look at their hair.

1030. You can tell the wind's really blowing.

1031. - Oh, no! - No!

1032. I'm coming bitty boy!

1033. It can sense fear, so stay calm.

1034. Oh, it must've hit the gas tank.

1035. Oh, no.

1036. Ah criminy, what a crappy day.

1037. Well, at least it's not raining, eh?

1038. Light the shoe box and throw it in the toilet.

1039. At 11:15, the old cook came on deck

1040. and said women it's been good to know you.

1041. Don't flush!

1042. By the shores of Gitche Gumee,

1043. by the shining big sea waters...

1044. Meanwhile in From Here to Eternity...

1045. I feel gritty.

1046. I'll never drink vodka from a watermelon again.

1047. I don't know where we are,

1048. but I've got a feeling we're near the Kennedy compound.

1049. Oh great, it's a private beach.

1050. Faced again.

1051. Tough surfers.

1052. Mind if we dance with your dates?

1053. Thanks Todd, good effort.

1054. Pathetic.

1055. Oh, I think he means to follow him.

1056. I guess so.

1057. Who is he whipping?

1058. That Foley guy is just like way off script, isn't he?

1059. Oh, good. They've washed up in Monument Valley.

1060. Todd, now get back in line. Quit clowning.

1061. You little scamp.

1062. This story is right out of Homer.

1063. And Jethro?

1064. I hate these dude ranchers, you?

1065. Are you afraid?

1066. I'm too numb to be afraid.

1067. Get captured often? Live around here?

1068. Of me?

1069. Yes, all they can do is kill me or make a slave of me.

1070. Either one's fine by me.

1071. I'd like to see them try.

1072. Kirk Douglas and the Viking.

1073. Get up!

1074. Which one of us?

1075. Like I'm almost sure, this place bites.

1076. These are the guys that gave us Mongolian stir-fry.

1077. Scum.

1078. They can be handled.

1079. They're only men.

1080. Oh, Gloria Steinem.

1081. Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker.

1082. Yonder lies the castle of my father.

1083. Okay, well, yonder lies the matte painting

1084. of the castle of my father.

1085. Ow!

1086. Those were just for fun.

1087. Those were for me.

1088. That was way off script, on those.

1089. I love these walking scenes.

1090. And speaking of walking, gang...

1091. Yeah.

1092. Forget that guy. He's not in that movie.

1093. Ooh!

1094. They can do such good things with walking scenes though.

1095. Waffles.

1096. - Oh, hi. - You okay?

1097. I just did a really nutty thing,

1098. with Cambot, about waffles.

1099. Are they meeting their mothers already?

1100. He's got a sweaty back.

1101. Well, he's been sitting in the saddle all day.

1102. Hey!

1103. You're gonna stay at the Red Roof Inn,

1104. whether you like it or not!

1105. Oh, no, they're being forced

1106. to attend the renaissance festival.

1107. Would you look at the prices in here,

1108. just for a continental breakfast.

1109. This is a very impressive buidling,

1110. for these heathens to have built.

1111. Maybe they didn't.

1112. - What do you mean? - They're renting.

1113. Vikings built this, not those savages.

1114. Vikings have never been in this land.

1115. We'd have heard it sung in the sagas.

1116. Only if they came back.

1117. To Brylcreem.

1118. Hello, I'm the concierge.

1119. Oh, sorry about the costume.

1120. Corman's poodle died and he doesn't like to waste anything.

1121. I am Inspector Clouseau, I want to see Todd.

1122. I could never quite get over that

1123. breakup of Sonny and Cher.

1124. Hello, girls!

1125. No.

1126. Yes.

1127. You! What's the fifth general order?

1128. Mmm, Oil of Olay.

1129. Oh, dear, dear, split ends.

1130. Clip those and try a hot oil treatment, dear.

1131. You, well, never mind.

1132. - Whoa. - Keep your filthy hands

1133. off of her, you big slobbering dog.

1134. Ottar, be careful of these animals.

1135. If you only understood a civilized tongue,

1136. I'd tell you some things, you big slob.

1137. And what would you tell me?

1138. I would say that you're actually a nice slob.

1139. You speak our language.

1140. A few words I learned from some of your countrymen.

1141. Were they men of Stonyold?

1142. Did their craft bear the dragon shield?

1143. I really don't know.

1144. And I don't really care.

1145. This happens to all craft that enter our waters.

1146. They're swalloed by the vortex.

1147. Destroyed by the great beast.

1148. Oh, god, your hair smells good.

1149. - Some were saved? - A handful.

1150. Who? Who was saved?

1151. What were their names?

1152. Well, let's see, a guy named Jeff, and Murry,

1153. oh, and a really fun guy named Chopper.

1154. Ah, Senya, my son.

1155. Freddie Mercury?

1156. Father, the horns have sounded

1157. the boar hunt, twice already.

1158. When are you coming?

1159. Soon. Soon, Senya.

1160. Soon, Senya.

1161. Gee, you're a queer old duck.

1162. As you see, we have visitors.

1163. Are these the new slaves?

1164. Guests, guests, my boy.

1165. They'll ride with us on the boar hunt.

1166. But they're women!

1167. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

1168. Women...

1169. I know someone who could use

1170. a little hostility counseling.

1171. Viking women, my boy.

1172. They're not like other women.

1173. They make great waffles.

1174. - We'll have great sport. - For breakfast.

1175. Mm-hmm.

1176. Ottar, look at his arm.

1177. That's Vedric's bracelet.

1178. Visitors don't come to our shores very often.

1179. In the off-season.

1180. We'd be happy to have your company,

1181. on our boar hunt.

1182. But perhaps you're too tired, from your long journey.

1183. Vikings are never tired.

1184. We rule!

1185. When do we start?

1186. - Immediately. - If not sooner.

1187. We accept with pleasure.

1188. Do I bring you pleasure?

1189. I'll order the horses.

1190. - Of courses. - Zarko...

1191. Nice going, Todd over there. I like that.

1192. Ottar, why in the name of...

1193. It'll be much easier to find out

1194. what's going on inside that cave,

1195. with them busy at the hunt.

1196. Unleash the dogs!

1197. Both of them!

1198. Bring the pooper-scooper.

1199. And coming around the clubhouse turn,

1200. it's Apartment-house with plenty of room.

1201. And Girdle in the stretch.

1202. Bird poop on the track.

1203. And coming up the rear is Beetle-bomb.

1204. Hey, it's the dogs from Teenage Caveman.

1205. It's bronco Todd, to the rescue!

1206. Yee-hoo!

1207. Hyo!

1208. Oh, how appropriate, a boar in a Corman film.

1209. It's Arnold. Run Arnold!

1210. Looks like Mr. Ziffle got drunk, and painted Arnold.

1211. Ow!

1212. Oh, my back.

1213. Oh, Daddy, I don't wanna hunt.

1214. I wanna be a poet, a singer, a dancer, an actor.

1215. Ow, it's on my butt.

1216. You want fame?

1217. Well, fame costs. And here's where you start paying.

1218. I thought that little piggy went to market.

1219. He stayed home, obviously.

1220. Oh, I tore my shirts.

1221. Help me, please!

1222. I'm being attacked by a ham sandwich!

1223. Come on, squeal like Ned Beatty.

1224. Oh, look at this.

1225. Corman got his shot, catered the crew,

1226. and got costume for Teenage Caveman, all in one bit.

1227. - A girl! - Ooh!

1228. A girl had to save a Grimolt warrior?

1229. My father will never forgive me.

1230. Would you rather have been killed by the boar?

1231. Besides, what's so terrible about

1232. a girl being a good hunter?

1233. But you don't understand.

1234. I'm a prince!

1235. A live prince.

1236. No, according to Grimolt law,

1237. I'll be banished from my country,

1238. in complete disgrace!

1239. Why didn't you mind your own business!

1240. It's Carol Channing.

1241. Oh that's a lovely pantsuit you're wearing.

1242. Alright.

1243. Here, you killed the boar with that spear.

1244. Oh, wait, what about the spear that's in the boar?

1245. Continuity.

1246. Senya, where did you get this bracelet?

1247. From a yellow-haired captive—

1248. - Ramfest. - Why?

1249. Where is he? Is he alive?

1250. Are there more than one?

1251. Someone's coming. Leave me alone.

1252. I'll harm you.

1253. Is this how a prince repays his gratitude?

1254. Alright, come to my room later,

1255. and I'll tell you as much as I can.

1256. But don't get caught, or we'll both be in trouble.

1257. My father forbids me to talk to people.

1258. Thanks, Pam, you're a real pip.

1259. Give it up for my posse! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

1260. Senya, are you alright?

1261. - I'm fine, Father. - I'm fabulous.

1262. What did you expect?

1263. Oh, sorry.

1264. Senya, you killed a boar!

1265. Oui, I did do that thing.

1266. My son is a mighty hunter!

1267. To the victor!

1268. Three cheers for captain Spalding.

1269. Oh, it's a Theta Chi party.

1270. Groovy tunes.

1271. Hey, look, where's Tony Martin?

1272. He's gotta be around here somewhere.

1273. Hmm.

1274. Isadora Duncan, tonight at the Viking lodge.

1275. Sounds like the Rocky Show music.

1276. Senator, no!

1277. You know, I really envy women,

1278. how they can dance my themselves,

1279. or with each other at a party,

1280. and no one gives it a second thought, you know.

1281. I have to spend half the night

1282. working up the courage to ask a girl to dance,

1283. and then if she rejects me,

1284. I have to make that shameful walk,

1285. back across the room.

1286. Then I get so depressed I just—

1287. Joel. Joel. Joel. Get a grip.

1288. Have a waffle or something, for crying out loud.

1289. Could I get that extra dressing I ordered?

1290. Hey, my food! Hey, I'm trying to eat over here!

1291. Your feet smell like Fritos.

1292. She's got a great act, really knows how to work a table.

1293. Now dessert.

1294. Thanks. Good night.

1295. Enjoy the buffet.

1296. Carry-out.

1297. Hey, come on over here.

1298. Try a little of my big tankard of beer.

1299. Ah, come on.

1300. Come on, try a potato skin. They're great!

1301. You have decaf, right?

1302. You know what this scene's making me hungry for?

1303. - Me too. - Waffles. Waffles.

1304. Mmm.

1305. I gotta go. Excuse me.

1306. I would like to test the strength

1307. of the great Viking women.

1308. Me too.

1309. I think it is a fraud.

1310. Here, girl. Set this down.

1311. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?

1312. You cad...

1313. We're even now. You're on your own.

1314. I am Sprite of the forest, friend to Oberon.

1315. Merl Oberon, actually.

1316. It's Blaze versus Weeny-man, on American Gladiators.

1317. It's actually Over the Top, with Sly Stallone.

1318. Okay, this one's for waffles.

1319. Aren't you glad you used Dial?

1320. Don't you wish everybody did?

1321. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! You're harming me!

1322. I don't believe it.

1323. Enough!

1324. You were adopted.

1325. There is no need for any contest with these women.

1326. They are our slaves,

1327. to do with as we please.

1328. Oh, can we discuss art and literature with them?

1329. You, young man, are going on a Robert Bly weekend.

1330. Oh, it must be Thanksgiving.

1331. - Oh, no, Jehovah's Witnesses. - Hey, the floor-show started.

1332. Great choreography.

1333. He likes to hop.

1334. Weee!

1335. How about a little fire, Scarecrow?

1336. This is Todd, recreating the role of Biff,

1337. from West Side Story, thank you very much.

1338. Escape to the fitting room!

1339. I fooled them.

1340. Ah!

1341. Joel?

1342. What does this have anything to do with waffles?

1343. - I don't get it. - Beats me.

1344. L'Eggo my Eggo!

1345. Oh, that's what has to do with waffles.

1346. Gob on him!

1347. Dribble spit in his face!

1348. Here's dessert, Krumkake.

1349. Well, little man,

1350. you seem to have a taste for fighting.

1351. I'll show you some Vikings who have lost that desire.

1352. Like Tarkenton, he's kinda old.

1353. And Rashad, he's got a broadcasting career now.

1354. Looks like they're on a class field trip.

1355. I used to love class field trips, you know.

1356. When I was a kid, you know,

1357. one time I got sick and I couldn't go.

1358. The biggest day of school of the year,

1359. and I couldn't go.

1360. They went up to the Gardner's Soft-Twist bread factory.

1361. And they they toured—

1362. Joel, have a waffle, will you?

1363. - Shape up. - Something chewy.

1364. Jiminy. You okay?

1365. Ah, that's just because I can.

1366. Nice guard. Real young guy there.

1367. I love these walking scenes.

1368. Oh, we missed the Dead concert.

1369. We try to amuse our guests.

1370. But they're not always grateful for our efforts.

1371. Fortunately, that was not one of your people.

1372. He was with the Donner party.

1373. The Richard Donner party.

1374. Threw a bash for the Lethal Weapon cast.

1375. Oh, it's sculpture class, look.

1376. And they're doing life studies there.

1377. Studio arts.

1378. Oh, Vedric.

1379. Desir, are you real?

1380. Brassiere?

1381. Are you a dream?

1382. Mary, Mary, don't you know me?

1383. They're slaves but they do have to shave, look.

1384. My love.

1385. Yoman.

1386. Yeoman?

1387. Swaive!

1388. Suede?

1389. Oh, great! It's an Abba reunion.

1390. I was wondering.

1391. Hey, how about a little sugar for the Todd monster, hmm?

1392. Come on.

1393. I'm raven-haired and bitter.

1394. My darling, what have they done to you?

1395. It doesn't matter. You're here now.

1396. Oh, jeez, he's a nice well-groomed young man.

1397. Quite touching, isn't it?

1398. Separate them!

1399. Colors in one pile and whites in the other!

1400. Cold water wash.

1401. Alright, come on.

1402. Conjugal visit is over. Come with me.

1403. Hey, wait!

1404. She's just a friend.

1405. We talk on the phone and stuff.

1406. I smell a rat, a big Viking rat.

1407. So you scorn me.

1408. Yet you're in the arms of a slave.

1409. - He's not a slave. - He's a really nice guy.

1410. Vedric is a warrior, leader of the Stonyold.

1411. The lives given to me by the

1412. great serpent of the vortex are mine.

1413. Remember that. Mine!

1414. Take your hands off her!

1415. You damned dirty ape.

1416. It's a pity many do not live long.

1417. Then men, that is.

1418. But the women, now they're quite different.

1419. They live as long as their beauty pleases me.

1420. Enough time wasted.

1421. Separate them.

1422. Back to work!

1423. Come on, people, break's over.

1424. You're on the clock.

1425. No! No!

1426. No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

1427. I belong with the men too.

1428. The living room, you see.

1429. It's only $450 a month, plus damage deposit.

1430. It's uncommon Viking and others.

1431. Hmm?

1432. Tomorrow we'll talk further.

1433. But don't feel neglected.

1434. Already, my men are fighting

1435. amongst themselves for the prizes.

1436. We'll never submit to savages.

1437. Never.

1438. Once you've known a Grimolt warrior...

1439. You'll never go back to the other kind.

1440. You'll soon forget the pale Viking slave.

1441. But for tonight,

1442. we're going to let you rest.

1443. So you'll be worthy mates for my men.

1444. Oh, and there's some cold chicken

1445. and Colby in the fridge.

1446. Oh, and some seafood salad from By-o-peas.

1447. Eat that up. It's going to spoil.

1448. I like the tall, gangly one, myself.

1449. If our men were forced to yield,

1450. what can we do?

1451. We'd better think of something.

1452. I'd rather die than let one of those men touch me.

1453. Speak for yourself.

1454. Poor Ottar.

1455. - Shelley Fabares? - He went to such lengths

1456. to prove himself a man.

1457. We're not beaten yet.

1458. We know that our men are alive.

1459. And somehow we'll be together again.

1460. Don't know where. Don't know when.

1461. We must find a way to get to them and help free them.

1462. But how?

1463. I don't know.

1464. But we've got to find a way.

1465. Let's put on a show!

1466. That window.

1467. Hey.

1468. Oh, Desir, nobody can get through there.

1469. I can get through.

1470. Let me try.

1471. Okay, Mary Anne.

1472. Oh, come on. Delta Burke could fit through that window.

1473. Got it.

1474. Oh, my pelvis. It's locked.

1475. And since that day they saved us from the vortex,

1476. we haven't even seen the light of the sun.

1477. Have you tried to escape?

1478. No, the Grimolts captured us when we were

1479. exhausted from the battle with the great serpent.

1480. When we regained our strength,

1481. we tried to escape but—

1482. The sun was in our eyes.

1483. For every attempt,

1484. Stark put two of our number to the sword.

1485. And he mercilessly shaved them.

1486. Two chosen by lot.

1487. A man won't risk the life of his companion,

1488. just to save his own.

1489. We must try again.

1490. We can't leave our women in the hands of those beasts.

1491. We must escape somehow.

1492. Gilligan! Gilligan!

1493. Shh! Whisper.

1494. Do you think she'll make it?

1495. - She will. - Doubtful.

1496. Oh! Nothing...

1497. We weren't doing anything.

1498. Oh, it's the three witches from Macbeth.

1499. Hey, give me a little of that.

1500. Troma presents Reform School Viking Girls.

1501. It's Buddy Ebsen!

1502. Hey.

1503. What's going on in here?

1504. Forget this action.

1505. I'm going outside and check on the Teenage Caveman set.

1506. Well, you swing your partner, swing your fists,

1507. pull her hair and break her wrists. Promenade.

1508. Well, did anybody get the key in any of that?

1509. You alright?

1510. I'm alright.

1511. Man, what do we have to do to get fed around here?

1512. Wrestle a fat hag?

1513. Hmm?

1514. Could you make a little bit more noise?

1515. Were there any other guards?

1516. I didn't see any.

1517. Later. Later.

1518. Oh, look, they're gonna play croquette.

1519. Let's go.

1520. Take these clown hammers and follow me.

1521. I'll take your spear.

1522. You don't mind do you? Thank you.

1523. Not a chest hair among them.

1524. - Except on her. - Hello Cleveland!

1525. Rock and roll!

1526. Hey, let's stop by Janet Johnson's.

1527. See if she wants to go out, okay?

1528. Hmm?

1529. And it's another great Roger Corman walking scene.

1530. Let me scout ahead.

1531. Yeah, I'm trying to impress my girl.

1532. Go ahead, see if you can hit the bell.

1533. Hey, does anybody got a shirt?

1534. Boys in the hood.

1535. Come on girls!

1536. You know what these exciting

1537. Roger Corman action scenes make me hungry for?

1538. Let me guess. Belgian—

1539. No, let me say it, Crow.

1540. Waffles!

1541. Aw, Joel, he ruined it for me.

1542. - I wanted to say waffles. - Waffles. Waffles.

1543. Waffles. Waffles. Waffles. Waffles.

1544. Come on, knock it off, you two.

1545. Stop it, hey, hey.

1546. If you don't be quiet, nobody's getting a waffle.

1547. Actually, I'm more in the mood for some French toast.

1548. Oh, Crow, what the heck does this

1549. have to do with French toast?

1550. Jiminy.

1551. What does it have to do with waffles?

1552. What does it have to do with anything?

1553. Waffle?

1554. Oh, Dad he knocked me down and it hurt and stuff.

1555. Ha! Eat it boy, eat it!

1556. Oh boy, they're getting their butts kicked.

1557. Boy, the Vikings really stink this year, huh?

1558. Yeah, every time they make it to the Bowl, they choke.

1559. Yep, yep, yep.

1560. So...

1561. Well, what do you think of your noble Vikings now?

1562. Well, we're in denial.

1563. We think they're great.

1564. Oh, Desir, what have I done?

1565. It's not your fault. You did your best.

1566. But I guess your best just wasn't good enough.

1567. We are betrothed to these men.

1568. We've come across the sea for love of them.

1569. Such courage speaks of great love, indeed.

1570. I wonder how great it really is?

1571. Oh, how would you know?

1572. You're dressed like Snoopy.

1573. What would you actually do for love?

1574. Beware of him, Desir.

1575. Anything he says will be a trick.

1576. I'm not afraid of him.

1577. My love for you is equal to any test.

1578. - Even an S.A.T? - Is it?

1579. I wonder.

1580. Tomorrow we'll see.

1581. Idiots, they thought they could escape.

1582. Why are you wearing a tiara, my son?

1583. Don't you know that all Grimolts are under

1584. the protection of the great serpent, god of the vortex?

1585. Devourer of our enemies!

1586. Wow, look at that. Huh?

1587. - Oh, it's a puppet? - A sock puppet.

1588. - Oh. - Yeah.

1589. Well, I guess we'll just have to take your word for it.

1590. Enough!

1591. Return them to the caves.

1592. But for Fran Tarkenton and the Minnesota Vikings,

1593. there would come another day.

1594. Oh, what a day, am I beat.

1595. I'm flat-out tired.

1596. I still have to stay up and work on my novel.

1597. So this is my reward for warning you of their plans?

1598. No, but we do have some lovely parting gifts.

1599. Tell her about it, Johnny!

1600. You're not keeping your promise.

1601. You said I could stay up and watch Love American Style.

1602. You really want her killed?

1603. No, I really wanna direct, actually.

1604. She's very desirable.

1605. No more than I, surely.

1606. She finds herself more desirable? What gives?

1607. You are indeed beautiful.

1608. And you're really hairy.

1609. - Take that thing off. - But you don't deceive me.

1610. It's the pale-skinned giant you want.

1611. - Mr. Clean? - Larry Bird?

1612. True. I want him.

1613. But...

1614. Any port in a storm.

1615. Only for a whim.

1616. A crazy, madcap, whirlwind spree.

1617. But he won't have you.

1618. He loves Desir.

1619. I like to pan-fry.

1620. When she's gone, he'll forget.

1621. Time for the Jerry Lucas, Harry Lorayne memory system.

1622. You're a strange woman, dark one.

1623. Oh, you're wearing a shag rug,

1624. and you think she's strange?

1625. I'm useful to you, great Stark.

1626. I can be useful again.

1627. - Coochie coo! - Let me go to him.

1628. Check me for nits.

1629. It would be great sport,

1630. to see him tempted.

1631. By the fruit of another.

1632. Tell you what, let's go get a rug doctor,

1633. and a couple of bottle of wine, what do you say?

1634. Class ring? Does this mean we're going steady?

1635. I'm gonna go tell the pep squad.

1636. Senior girls are gonna be cheesed.

1637. Roger, this is God. Pick up the pace.

1638. Why don't they just fire this guy?

1639. For crying out loud.

1640. Looks okay. Backstage pass, access to all areas, okay.

1641. She's with the band.

1642. You know I think she way over-accessorizes.

1643. Mm-hmm.

1644. Now here's another great walking scene.

1645. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

1646. Yep, pretty much.

1647. Oh, it's raining men.

1648. He looks okay. This one's kinda small.

1649. Oh, look at this one.

1650. He's perfect.

1651. Football practice!

1652. Shh.

1653. It's dangerous for you to be here.

1654. Perhaps, but it doesn't matter.

1655. I would dare more for you.

1656. What? Huh?

1657. Vedric, I can help you.

1658. We can go back home.

1659. - James Arness. - No, no. Peter Graves.

1660. Oh, yeah.

1661. And the others?

1662. It would be too difficult.

1663. Best to forget them.

1664. He's kinda stoic for a Swede, isn't he?

1665. They're my people.

1666. I couldn't leave without them.

1667. Vedric, you're chief of the Stonyold.

1668. - I know. - But you can't help

1669. your people unless you escape.

1670. We can start a new life.

1671. In Argentina.

1672. We? Together?

1673. Come with me, Vedric.

1674. By dawn we'll be far, far away and safe.

1675. Enger, I remember you as a child.

1676. I liked you better then.

1677. Always you were head-strong and impatient.

1678. Unless you had your own way.

1679. Especially if you drank Coke in the morning.

1680. True.

1681. But I've grown in many ways.

1682. Insert comment here.

1683. I'm a woman now, Vedric.

1684. - I know. - I know.

1685. A beautiful woman.

1686. I've much to offer a man.

1687. Hey, you're preaching to the converted, honey.

1688. That's true.

1689. And some day I hope you will chose a worthy warrior—

1690. Or a happy warrior.

1691. I've already chosen one.

1692. My love belongs to another.

1693. You know that.

1694. Vedric, I'm offering you your life.

1695. My name is Hershel.

1696. Without Desir, there is no life for me.

1697. Without a brassiere?

1698. No, no, no.

1699. Fool!

1700. Smart Vikings, foolish choices, today on Geraldo.

1701. - Brave words... - I'll say.

1702. are easy to say now.

1703. We'll see what they will be tomorrow.

1704. Well, I gotta get back to the dorm before curfew.

1705. Come on, guys.

1706. Waffles?

1707. Boy, am I full.

1708. I ate too much.

1709. I'm beginning to think the world

1710. would be a better place without waffles.

1711. No waffles?

1712. Who are you?

1713. Why I'm Willy the Waffle,

1714. the wonderful, whimsical, wisecracking waffle.

1715. Can I ask you one question?

1716. Sure.

1717. Who the hell are you to decide

1718. who lives and who dies?

1719. Did you know that the nation's brunch industry

1720. employs over 500.000 people?

1721. Most of them name Chad.

1722. Hi, welcome to Joe Joe Waffle Berries.

1723. Our waffle special today is gaming force waffle,

1724. with Jack sauce, we also have.

1725. Sorry, Chad, we have to lay you off.

1726. No waffles!

1727. Little league baseball would also

1728. be impossible without waffles.

1729. Mom, little league practice in is an hour.

1730. Can I have some waffles?

1731. Sorry, son, no waffles.

1732. Nice read there, Joel, that was really nice.

1733. Most importantly, do you think communism

1734. and the Soviet Union would have ever been dismantled

1735. if it weren't for waffles?

1736. Come on, what a...

1737. Hey, hey, the coup is a success.

1738. All we do now is honor Boris Yeltsin,

1739. and the crowd in Red Square are eating waffles.

1740. We'll never crush them now.

1741. That's right, the Russian people,

1742. maple syrup stain on Gorbachev's forehead,

1743. spells one thing. Freedom.

1744. Oh come one, you guys, please.

1745. I was just being ironic.

1746. You guys waffles so much,

1747. here have some of mine, I've got plenty.

1748. Oh, that's okay. I'm kinda full.

1749. I'm not really into waffles.

1750. Da Da Dat Da Dum-Dum Boing!

1751. Come on, Tom, we've got a party to go to.

1752. Woo!

1753. No waffles.

1754. You're such a spaz, Crow.

1755. No place to sit, no movie.

1756. Cut it out.

1757. - Hey. - Sorry.

1758. Do you mind turning down those torches?

1759. My electric bill is sky high.

1760. Kill them.

1761. - Kill them both. - Didn't go well did it?

1762. I want to see them die.

1763. You are one freaky chick.

1764. Grant me this, great Stark.

1765. You'll never regret it.

1766. It's like buying a good wool coat.

1767. How about a little hair of the dog that bit you? Ruff!

1768. He does know how to put on the dog, doesn't he.

1769. And afterwards, I'll let you prove your gratitude.

1770. You can send me one of those cute little Hallmark cards.

1771. Picnic.

1772. Looks like they're about to become a Swedish casserole.

1773. A hot dish, alright.

1774. Oh, and it's festival seating. I hate that.

1775. I'm curious to test the strength of this noble love.

1776. I'm curious as to why you dressed like Scooby Doo.

1777. You shall have the honor of lighting

1778. the holy sacrificial fire, to appease the storm god.

1779. As for the lovers themselves,

1780. our Grimolt gods are compassionate.

1781. They demand no more than one sacrifice.

1782. Which of you will it be?

1783. Let it be me.

1784. No! No, take me!

1785. One of you will come out of the fiery choice alive.

1786. Whoever begs for life first will go unharmed.

1787. - Sounds fair. - The other one dies.

1788. Mm-hmm, pretty much.

1789. Senya, light the fire.

1790. Senior?

1791. Dad, I'm so hot I don't need a match.

1792. Nice dance pelvis.

1793. Thanks, Bernice.

1794. I'm the god of hell fire.

1795. I'll never confide in you again.

1796. As long as you're gonna die, can I have your earrings?

1797. Senya!

1798. Well, she did pull a thorn from my paw.

1799. Oh, what the heck.

1800. Oh, it's the opening from Mission Impossible.

1801. Shh.

1802. Hey, let's see how long.

1803. There's still time.

1804. The first to plead for life will go unharmed.

1805. Okay!

1806. No, take me.

1807. Release her.

1808. No! No!

1809. My life will only be meaningless!

1810. - More meaningless. - Free him. I will stay.

1811. Hmm, perhaps I should shave.

1812. Desir, I beg you, speak to him.

1813. Save yourself.

1814. Without you, death is welcome, my beloved.

1815. What did she say?

1816. - Speak! - I didn't catch that.

1817. Gain your freedom!

1818. I'll understand! I swear it!

1819. I couldn't.

1820. He's all choked up.

1821. Even though my tongue be torn from its roots.

1822. - Oh, gross! - Yuck!

1823. Couple of Swedish meatballs, coming right up.

1824. Oh, an Imogene Coca reunion.

1825. Oh, it's horrible.

1826. Todd makes his move.

1827. Ooh. Ooh.

1828. If you love me, speak Vedric, please!

1829. Now sit.

1830. Ah, Gamera!

1831. Oh, well you know, cripes, we need the rain, you know.

1832. - Good for the crops. - Goodbye, my love.

1833. Not goodbye.

1834. Auf wiedersehen.

1835. We'll be together forever, in Valhala.

1836. Yeah, whatever.

1837. I'm Spunky the warrior boy!

1838. - Woo! - Ha!

1839. Man, the Todd monster is one hyper kid.

1840. - He hurts others. - Mm-hmm.

1841. Too much sugar.

1842. Ouch, ouch.

1843. Todd gets his butt whipped every time.

1844. You'd think he'd learn.

1845. Okay, class, let's review Corman's technique once again.

1846. Okay, here's a shot of the two kids.

1847. A shot of the creepy girl.

1848. Mm-hmm.

1849. There's a shot of Hershel.

1850. I'm with you.

1851. A shot of Abby Dalton.

1852. Hi, Abby.

1853. And another shot of the creepy girl.

1854. And there's a shot with the kid and the creepy girl.

1855. The creepy girl. Oh, creepy girl!

1856. Shh.

1857. It's a sin to let them die.

1858. You change rapidly, dark one.

1859. Well, that's my prerogative.

1860. Once the sacrificial fires have been lighted,

1861. the gods demand their victim.

1862. You see?

1863. Already, the storm god licks his lips at the coming feast.

1864. The storm god sits quietly with his napkin in his lap.

1865. Num num num.

1866. Your gods are false!

1867. Well, your eyelashes are false.

1868. I want a closeup, damn it.

1869. You're no god to me, mister.

1870. Hey, is it's the Land O'Lakes girl.

1871. You know if you fold—

1872. - Shh! - Oh...

1873. Thunderbolt, listen to thy priestess,

1874. who has been led astray by the spirit of the flesh.

1875. Grant me the serenity to accept—

1876. Show these infidels thy power.

1877. Whoa!

1878. Hey, she's got a real knack for this kind of thing.

1879. Gods of the Vikings, protect your children,

1880. in their hour of need.

1881. Is that us?

1882. Yeah, pretty much.

1883. Unleash thy thunder bolt...

1884. - Connie Edison. - Great Thor.

1885. You know, isn't that just it?

1886. Every time you try to have a barbecue,

1887. it's either raining or your neighbor's mowing the lawn.

1888. Yeah, yeah.

1889. And here it comes.

1890. Cast upon these savage unbelievers

1891. the curse of the Stonyold.

1892. Make them have bad haircuts too.

1893. Let's call is a day, Carl.

1894. The tournament official is coming out.

1895. He's checking the court conditions.

1896. And the match is called.

1897. Good thing I re-shingled my hat.

1898. Come here, you nasty old god!

1899. I'll harm you!

1900. Ooh!

1901. Oh, the pain, the pain.

1902. Ah, cripes, I'm gonna need a new son now.

1903. Senya?

1904. Smell me?

1905. My son?

1906. Hail Dorothy. The wicked witch is dead. Hail Dorothy.

1907. Hey, could you guys be pallbearers?

1908. Kill them!

1909. Kill all of them!

1910. Their lives for the life of my son!

1911. She really got under your skin,

1912. didn't she, Mr. Kaplan?

1913. - Come on, hurry. - A movie reference, hmm.

1914. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

1915. No waffles though.

1916. Ow.

1917. - Ow. - That stings.

1918. Ooh, good move.

1919. Okay, give me those moon boots.

1920. They're mine. Give them back.

1921. Ah, Aikiba.

1922. Wow, the classic Mannix disarm.

1923. With a solo Karate chop.

1924. Quickly, kill me and be done with it.

1925. - I hate the smell of wet wool. - Yeah.

1926. I have no desire to kill you, Stark.

1927. That would require emotion.

1928. We only wish to leave in peace.

1929. Or peas.

1930. Okay.

1931. Oh, gee, he's dressed like Cher again.

1932. They killed H.R. Pufnstuf!

1933. No!

1934. Another classic walking scene.

1935. This time, up hill.

1936. My son.

1937. I love my dead gay son.

1938. You'll not enter the fire-land alone.

1939. It's Doug Henning's world of illusion.

1940. The sword.

1941. Would someone like to examine this sword?

1942. It's an ordinary sword, perfectly normal in every way.

1943. Remember to poke a few holes in him,

1944. so he doesn't explode.

1945. The woman.

1946. I thought you brought the woman.

1947. I thought you brought her.

1948. Oh, here she is.

1949. Hey, wait a minute, who's that?

1950. - No! - I don't remember her.

1951. Oh, no. Oh, wait

1952. - Hey! - Oh, that's it.

1953. I want you to take back the night, Desir.

1954. Hey, you put the wrong one in the fire.

1955. You're supposed to put the dead one in there.

1956. Well, son, you've got a hot chick

1957. waiting for you in the afterlife.

1958. Hot chick...

1959. I'd say that was pretty lame.

1960. No, I meant a hot chick.

1961. Your death will be avenged.

1962. On your tomb, I swear.

1963. Tomb? He was just cremated.

1964. There are bars and punch in the fellowship hall.

1965. Come on teen gang.

1966. Woo.

1967. Oh, no, Dog-man is gonna pull a Pharaoh on them.

1968. Let's go form the new Christy Minstrels.

1969. Yep, Teenage Caveman set, for sure.

1970. I think this is the way to the sea.

1971. But I'm not sure.

1972. The word is the law.

1973. And the law is the word.

1974. Thank you Frank DiColo.

1975. Maybe I can see it again, wait here for me.

1976. You're gonna trust whipping boy?

1977. Laughing boy.

1978. Why are they barking like dogs?

1979. I don't know.

1980. Climb every mountain.

1981. Oh, come on, that's the exact tree from Teenage Caveman.

1982. The law is the word and the word—

1983. Oh, shut up!

1984. Oh, there are dogs, look.

1985. Mighty Jack is the beast.

1986. He's springy.

1987. That's the way to the sea.

1988. They're following our trail with dogs.

1989. Quickly!

1990. Not too quickly though.

1991. Corman still needs to pad the film out.

1992. It's the Doberman gang.

1993. The doggonest gang...

1994. They're barking. Everybody's barking.

1995. They are barking, for crying out loud.

1996. Jeez.

1997. Oh, he's got dog tags on, great.

1998. They really know how to put on the dog, don't they.

1999. I just don't understand cross country.

2000. She's lagging behind.

2001. What's Serina got up her sleeve?

2002. Come on, Rosie Ruiz.

2003. Well, she's leaving a trail of jewelry.

2004. Dogs can't smell jewelry.

2005. Unless their Sammy Davis' dogs.

2006. Oh...

2007. Scat.

2008. Oh, Wilbur.

2009. Which way, boss?

2010. Rooby Roo!

2011. Now to change into my Batgirl costume.

2012. See all the nipples on that dog?

2013. Mm-hmm, count them.

2014. Longer boats are coming to win us.

2015. If we're strong enough to man it.

2016. Or woman it.

2017. We'll have to use Todd as a sea anchor.

2018. It's Where's Enger,

2019. the wacky new comedy this fall, on ABC.

2020. Roo! You dropped your bracelet, lady. Roo!

2021. Bad dog! Bad! No!

2022. Fluffy! Puff! No, bad dogs!

2023. Oh, they licked her to death.

2024. - Mmm. - I know.

2025. She gave her life to save us.

2026. All the evil things I said about her...

2027. - Take them back. - What do you say

2028. about a 21 year old girl who died?

2029. - She loved Mozart. - So shall they all.

2030. All the Vikings pay for the life of my son.

2031. Dee Snider.

2032. Grimolt!

2033. Quickly, there's no time to lose.

2034. And no time to figure out how we saw all that.

2035. Hey, gang, let's hit the beach and rent some canoes!

2036. Oh, I knew this would end up

2037. looking like a beach party movie.

2038. Tonight on music through the night,

2039. the Ride-em Cowboy suite, by Albert Glasser.

2040. Now this time don't lose the rudder.

2041. Todd, you spoil everything!

2042. You're the Gilligan of this trip.

2043. Whoa, look at him. He's fast.

2044. Good one, Todd.

2045. Oh, it's just Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster.

2046. Hold me.

2047. Hug me.

2048. Hold on.

2049. Hey, quit splashing!

2050. Hey! Ow!

2051. I'm Todd the Baptist.

2052. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

2053. Oh, sorry about your boss.

2054. Was he important to you?

2055. Wait, we can't go in the water yet.

2056. We ate less than an hour ago.

2057. Who knows the Hawaii Five-0 song?

2058. Heya. Heya.

2059. They'll never catch up!

2060. They're two sound-stages away!

2061. Come on, get in, Dummy.

2062. You're the bravest of all the Vikings.

2063. Todd's the littlest Viking.

2064. Lay your weight into it!

2065. We'll never escape them!

2066. I swear they won't harm you, Asmild.

2067. End, end, end the film.

2068. Get it off the screen.

2069. Hurry, hurry, hurry, we're all about to scream.

2070. The vortex!

2071. Voltech?

2072. Valve-tech?

2073. Do you wanna make more money?

2074. Sure, we all do.

2075. Thank you, Sally.

2076. There's no time to avoid it!

2077. Rock the boat.

2078. Don't rock the boat.

2079. Don't tip the boat over.

2080. Take his men to hell with us.

2081. Vedric's right!

2082. Hey, Culligan man.

2083. Quick! Throw it in reverse!

2084. - Yuck. - Ugh.

2085. The wet head is dead.

2086. Ah, forget it, I don't like white meat.

2087. Too white. Too bland.

2088. Palmolive, you're swimming in it.

2089. Ooh.

2090. May Thor look kindly on our souls.

2091. What are you Gregory Peck all of a sudden?

2092. Well, I'm glad we're not headed back towards work.

2093. Look at all the traffic going the other way.

2094. The Bob Clampett Cartoon.

2095. I believe the term is up a creek without a paddle.

2096. Uh-oh.

2097. Weeeee! Weeeee!

2098. Cool climb, not again!

2099. Ooh!

2100. You kids quit splashing in the tub.

2101. - Boy is that fakie. - Yeah.

2102. Neat.

2103. I've had it with you kids!

2104. I'm dead. Good night. May God bless.

2105. Mm-hmm.

2106. I cannot stay I must be going.

2107. Hate to eat and run.

2108. Oh, it's the Princeton scouting team.

2109. You know, this home economics film

2110. really took a weird turn somewhere along the line.

2111. It sure did.

2112. Kiss me by the matte painting.

2113. Num num num num.

2114. He's got hair now.

2115. Hmm?

2116. Time to breed the master race.

2117. We'll make some great tennis players some day.

2118. The end.

2119. - Now waffles? - No more movie.

2120. Oh, waffles.

2121. I love waffles. Yay!

2122. Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles!

2123. Join us, everybody.

2124. Come on Cambot, gimme triple berry.

2125. Serve me up another, please.

2126. Top mine off with runny cheese!

2127. Chili waffles suit me fine!

2128. Wash me down with Aunt Jemima?

2129. What do you think, sirs?

2130. Let's face it, sticky fingers.

2131. Waffles are nothing more than a vehicle for butter and syrup.

2132. What?

2133. - They are not! - Just shut up!

2134. Hey, you watch your mouth about waffles!

2135. I got you!

2136. Now, Frank, I want you to set this up

2137. so they get a high-voltage shock,

2138. every time someone says waffle.

2139. Why? Has someone been saying waffles a lot?

2140. But you don't understand!

2141. I'm a prince!