1. Hey girl.Copy !req
2. What a cool guy.Copy !req
3. Thousand one, thousand two,
thousand three.Copy !req
4. - Thousand... - Hm.Copy !req
5. - Must be about two miles.
- Yep, yep, yep.Copy !req
6. Right over Centerville.Copy !req
7. I am so utterly bored
out of my dome.Copy !req
8. Yep.Copy !req
9. Yep, there is nothing to do.Copy !req
10. Pretty much.Copy !req
11. Yep, yep, yepper
pepper doodly doo.Copy !req
12. Rainy rainer rain, it's
a-rainin' on Jane,Copy !req
13. it's a plain bane Citizen Kane,Copy !req
14. lum dee dum bang bang bang
bang bang bang.Copy !req
15. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
16. 30 seconds to
commercial sign.Copy !req
17. Why don't you boys play
Hungry Hungry Hippos?Copy !req
18. You like that.Copy !req
19. Oh, we lost all the marbles.Copy !req
20. Hey Magic Voice, I don't
suppose you knowCopy !req
21. where our Mouse Trap game is,
do you?Copy !req
22. I didn't play with it last.Copy !req
23. The pieces are missing anyway.Copy !req
24. Why don't you play a nice
game of Monopoly?Copy !req
25. Too long.Copy !req
26. How about your Hot Wheels set?Copy !req
27. Busted.Copy !req
28. Play a nice game of Rack-o.Copy !req
29. Boring.Copy !req
30. Well then, why don't
you read a book?Copy !req
31. Oh, no way.Copy !req
32. Well, I don't know what you're
going to do then.Copy !req
33. It's commercial sign in
five seconds.Copy !req
34. Damn, maybe we could
play some poker?Copy !req
35. Yeah, I suppose.Copy !req
36. Poker, what's poker?Copy !req
37. Poker, yeah!Copy !req
38. Okay, the game is grey lady up
and down the river,Copy !req
39. spit in the ocean,Copy !req
40. bullets, deuces and
one-eyed jacks are wild.Copy !req
41. It's to you, Tommy.Copy !req
42. You know I love the way Felix
makes these sandwichesCopy !req
43. with the crusts off, they're
really delicious!Copy !req
44. What is with the sandwiches?Copy !req
45. Are you in or out?Copy !req
46. Okay, I'm in, I'm in!Copy !req
47. Gypsy?Copy !req
48. Gypsy, just tell him
what you wanna doCopy !req
49. and keep your poker face.Copy !req
50. Okay, let's see, what to do,
what to do?Copy !req
51. Oh, I fold!Copy !req
52. I fold too.Copy !req
53. Oh, Gypsy, you wrecked it, you
had a great hand.Copy !req
54. Oh, now the unholy
oppressors are calling.Copy !req
55. I think you'd better fold your
little card party,Copy !req
56. Murray the cop,Copy !req
57. and make with this week's
Invention Exchange!Copy !req
58. Right away, Il Duce.Copy !req
59. Anyway, our invention this week
is something we all came up withCopy !req
60. together and Crow's gonna
set the stage.Copy !req
61. Okay, so you're sittin' around
on, say, Tuesday night,Copy !req
62. and you suddenly realize that
the quart of apple juiceCopy !req
63. you just downed was
actually a bottleCopy !req
64. of janitor-in-a-drawer!Copy !req
65. And you're going to need to
induce vomiting right now.Copy !req
66. Right.Copy !req
67. But you've had it up to here
with the same oldCopy !req
68. warm saltwater ipecac.Copy !req
69. Right, so we all got together
and wrote this book.Copy !req
70. The Children's Wonderer book of
Rainy Day Ipecacs.Copy !req
71. Yeah, okay, here's mine.Copy !req
72. - Okay. - Chocolate milk.Copy !req
73. All right, I'm pouring.Copy !req
74. And then pour that over
into pickle juice!Copy !req
75. Okay, and then pickle juice goes
in there like that.Copy !req
76. That'll do it, that's strong.Copy !req
77. Okay, mine, you take those
circus peanuts there,Copy !req
78. add a quart of warm
strawberry Quik,Copy !req
79. and a punch in the stomach,
that'll do the trick!Copy !req
80. Okay, well here's mine.Copy !req
81. Lucky Charms covered with
cherry Nyquil.Copy !req
82. Oh, that's good ipecac!Copy !req
83. How about blue
cheese on a steak?Copy !req
84. With a steak garnish.Copy !req
85. Like that, see?Copy !req
86. Well here's something I
came up with.Copy !req
87. How about a Snickers bar
with honey mustard?Copy !req
88. That tears it.Copy !req
89. Oh, wow.Copy !req
90. What do you think, sirs?Copy !req
91. Well hey, I'm having the blue
cheese coke slurpee.Copy !req
92. Frank, no!Copy !req
93. Well what's an ipecac, anyway?Copy !req
94. Just get this week's
Invention Exchange, Frank!Copy !req
95. Okay, Steve.Copy !req
96. This week's Invention
Exchange is goingCopy !req
97. to blow your little mind,
warthog.Copy !req
98. It's the culmination of
my life's work.Copy !req
99. It's the essence of evil, and
it's a good friend.Copy !req
100. Out, out, out, out!Copy !req
101. I'm doing the Invention
Exchange this week.Copy !req
102. I don't think so, Roy.Copy !req
103. It's my idea, I do the
Invention Exchange.Copy !req
104. I spent all night working
on that bad boy.Copy !req
105. I'm doing the Invention
Exchange this week.Copy !req
106. Take the train.Copy !req
107. Just about had it, smart boy.Copy !req
108. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
109. I'm gonna cut you, man.Copy !req
110. I'm gonna cut you, that's right.Copy !req
111. Yeah?Copy !req
112. 'Cause you're bad, man.Copy !req
113. Yeah, you want a piece of me?Copy !req
114. - Yeah, I do! - Come on!Copy !req
115. I'm gonna cut you a second
smile, daddy-o!Copy !req
116. Come on!Copy !req
117. I don't think so.Copy !req
118. Come on Jackson, come on sweet
cakes, bring it on!Copy !req
119. You're gonna cut me?Copy !req
120. - No, you're not gonna cut me! -
I'm gonna cut you bad!Copy !req
121. What in the sam scratch is
going on down there?Copy !req
122. I don't know but I
don't like it.Copy !req
123. Not one bit.Copy !req
124. Send him the movie, Frank!Copy !req
125. No way, no way!Copy !req
126. I'm looking at a dead man,
a dead man!Copy !req
127. Send him the movie!Copy !req
128. I'm not gonna send
him the movie!Copy !req
129. Send him the movie!Copy !req
130. I'm not sending him the movie!Copy !req
131. Your movie this week, Joel,
is Teenage Caveman.Copy !req
132. Send him the movie!Copy !req
133. I'm not gonna send
him the movie!Copy !req
134. I'm not sending it!Copy !req
135. Oh, we got movie sign!Copy !req
136. Amniotic lizards, what?Copy !req
137. Oh, Aquatic Lizards.Copy !req
138. Hey, it's the go-gos!Copy !req
139. Pretty girls like a
pretty picture.Copy !req
140. Skiing ostriches.Copy !req
141. But where sky and water meet,Copy !req
142. you'll find water tournaments.Copy !req
143. All right, keep 'em up,
gimme your money.Copy !req
144. Together, these spell
aquatic wizardry.Copy !req
145. That would never work
in Scrabble.Copy !req
146. And here at Cypress Garden,
Florida.Copy !req
147. Young Nazis are led.Copy !req
148. The only requirement is
ability to swim.Copy !req
149. In four-inch heels.Copy !req
150. This part of the curriculumCopy !req
151. is called the ground school.Copy !req
152. Oh, sign me up for that.Copy !req
153. Learn proper posture
and balance.Copy !req
154. Good, you
know it's good.Copy !req
155. All this and school, too?Copy !req
156. But don't get me wrong.Copy !req
157. These ski schoolmarms not only
teach waterskiing,Copy !req
158. but are proficient in swimming,
modeling and acting.Copy !req
159. And they really wanna direct.Copy !req
160. The first water dance is
always exciting.Copy !req
161. There are no ringers here.Copy !req
162. This is positively the first
trial in water for this bunch.Copy !req
163. So you know they're
bound to fail!Copy !req
164. Wait, wait, I lost my trunks,
oh!Copy !req
165. Mass instruction works best,Copy !req
166. because the kids have
less tendencyCopy !req
167. to allow their feet to spread.Copy !req
168. Huh?Copy !req
169. Here's the teacher,
Chad Slab-body.Copy !req
170. Hello, Chad.Copy !req
171. Once the faces take
on confidenceCopy !req
172. as the kids gain experience.Copy !req
173. And the boat gains speed.Copy !req
174. Almost anyone from six
to 60 can learnCopy !req
175. to do this well after a
one-hour lesson.Copy !req
176. Happy landings are easy too.Copy !req
177. You simply drop the rope and
glide for shallow waterCopy !req
178. until your momentum runs out.Copy !req
179. What's molentum?Copy !req
180. A rough-house is good for
young water skiers.Copy !req
181. It inspires relaxation.Copy !req
182. Uh, that's a bad touch, Chad.Copy !req
183. Forget about lifejackets,
this is the '50s.Copy !req
184. The girls do equally as
well as the boys.Copy !req
185. All right.Copy !req
186. And here's Chad's girlfriend,
Connie Slab-body.Copy !req
187. They'll be wed someday.Copy !req
188. Hey, that's my mom!Copy !req
189. Now let's watch a
senior girls' classCopy !req
190. make a practice run.Copy !req
191. What well-rounded lives
these girls must lead!Copy !req
192. It's the waterskiing versionCopy !req
193. of Seven Brides For
Seven Brothers.Copy !req
194. Our cameraman
insists it's easierCopy !req
195. to ski downhill, but we
straightened him out.Copy !req
196. Yeah, he's got a new career now.Copy !req
197. Plopping sour cream on 39
cent choritos!Copy !req
198. Hey, it's red bottoms.Copy !req
199. Nice pins on them.Copy !req
200. See you later, girls!Copy !req
201. Miles from the dock and
they can't swim!Copy !req
202. When do they start
skiing on their own?Copy !req
203. That's hard to say.Copy !req
204. But here's a nine year old
off board skipperCopy !req
205. towing a seven year old skier.Copy !req
206. He's just a beginner.Copy !req
207. But with this kind of
concentration,Copy !req
208. he'll develop surprising skill.Copy !req
209. This has got litigation
written all over it.Copy !req
210. And the incentive to stay up is,
crocodiles!Copy !req
211. As soon as they learn to
stay on the board,Copy !req
212. the next step is tricks.Copy !req
213. The pyramid makes a good starter
in this department.Copy !req
214. That would be the departmentCopy !req
215. of putting things on top
of other things.Copy !req
216. Aw thanks, feel free to dig your
heel into my groin.Copy !req
217. Jimmy gets ahead by
stepping on his friends!Copy !req
218. Is this okay?Copy !req
219. Aw shut up Jimmy,
follow the boat.Copy !req
220. Ten feet underwater, this star
will demonstrate...Copy !req
221. It looks easy, but
actually they are proneCopy !req
222. to catching edges, which
would cause a spill.Copy !req
223. Greater speed is needed
for this stunt.Copy !req
224. Man, imagine what he could
do with a full set,Copy !req
225. a full size, huh?Copy !req
226. Here's Alfredo Mendoza,Copy !req
227. one of the greats in
water skiing.Copy !req
228. I know his skis.Copy !req
229. I'm gonna sniff myself!Copy !req
230. He doesn't need skis.Copy !req
231. His bare feet will do nicely.Copy !req
232. Oh, he's got webbed toes.Copy !req
233. He says it's easyCopy !req
234. if you don't wiggle your toes.Copy !req
235. Am I a clown?Copy !req
236. Do you find me amusing?Copy !req
237. There's only one way to stop:
just let go.Copy !req
238. Of your sensibility and
dress like a girl!Copy !req
239. You know you want to.Copy !req
240. This young lady is
showing us the typeCopy !req
241. of ski used for the
single ski technique.Copy !req
242. That's Alfredo, campin' it up!Copy !req
243. Next is the regulation
or two ski type.Copy !req
244. It has less depth to the
fin on the bottom.Copy !req
245. And she has less depth as well.Copy !req
246. Hey, hey.Copy !req
247. Oops.Copy !req
248. And the third is
wider with no fin.Copy !req
249. She looks fine to me.Copy !req
250. It is used for
turning and jumping.Copy !req
251. Hey fellas, are you listening?Copy !req
252. It's the way she touches
that board, it's...Copy !req
253. Single ski technique,
while different,Copy !req
254. is just as easy to perform.Copy !req
255. It has more grace and style.Copy !req
256. I can see that.Copy !req
257. Allows the skier to operate
at a wider range.Copy !req
258. It's just a whole lot better,
okay?Copy !req
259. Trust me!Copy !req
260. We're sold.Copy !req
261. Let's watch Willa McGuire.Copy !req
262. Let's watch Willa CatherCopy !req
263. doing her baby
schnooks impression.Copy !req
264. Her artistry and
skill has no equalCopy !req
265. on the aquatic hickory.Copy !req
266. Hickory?Copy !req
267. Oh, it's Leona Helmsley!Copy !req
268. Taxes are for the little people.Copy !req
269. Harry, Harry, come get me up.Copy !req
270. I'm building the master race.Copy !req
271. Willa tries the impossible.Copy !req
272. A ski ballet with no
hand or foot hold.Copy !req
273. She should be home caring
for her family,Copy !req
274. but no, I'll do everything.Copy !req
275. You just keep up your
little ski balletCopy !req
276. or whatever the heck
it is you do.Copy !req
277. Nice.Copy !req
278. A popular form of
modern water skiingCopy !req
279. is sometimes called the
romantic double.Copy !req
280. Hey, you come here often?Copy !req
281. Hey, kick those skis off,
gimme your foot.Copy !req
282. There you go.Copy !req
283. Plenty of room on top,
here you go.Copy !req
284. You are friendly, aren't you.Copy !req
285. Well, just throw that
stuff in the back,Copy !req
286. I kind of live off my shoulders.Copy !req
287. Wee!Copy !req
288. Hey hey hey, get a boat.Copy !req
289. I mean, get a room.Copy !req
290. Now the two young lovers bask
in the afterglow.Copy !req
291. How about a kiss?Copy !req
292. No?Copy !req
293. No?Copy !req
294. Goodbye.Copy !req
295. Hah, you're shark food now,
baby!Copy !req
296. Oh that's nice.Copy !req
297. Here's hoping this romantic pairCopy !req
298. have a happier ending.Copy !req
299. See, she's doing it!Copy !req
300. Yeah!Copy !req
301. They gotta watch out, this
could lead to dancing.Copy !req
302. Bob and Connie
really enjoy life.Copy !req
303. Hey, victory at sea, Bob.Copy !req
304. Woo woo!Copy !req
305. Alfredo is warming up again.Copy !req
306. This time, it's for the jump.Copy !req
307. He holds the world's record of
well over a hundred feetCopy !req
308. in board jumping.Copy !req
309. I'm bored jumping.Copy !req
310. Let's watch him again
in slow motion.Copy !req
311. Notice the arms do not rotateCopy !req
312. like on snow ski jumping.Copy !req
313. They just snap clean away!Copy !req
314. Oh, all of a sudden it's Sergia
Prokofiev playing.Copy !req
315. Thought it was Handel's Water
Music.Copy !req
316. Alfredo's next is called the
helicopter spin.Copy !req
317. He'll try to do a double spin.Copy !req
318. It's never been done beforeCopy !req
319. and it takes nerve to try.Copy !req
320. Oh, I can do that.Copy !req
321. Whoa.Copy !req
322. Almost, but not quite.Copy !req
323. Remember that agony of
defeat guy on ABC?Copy !req
324. That was him in the
summer months.Copy !req
325. Oh, he's summering.Copy !req
326. This time the Mexican
jumping beanCopy !req
327. will do a one and a half
spin on the ramp,Copy !req
328. landing backwards and completing
the other half on water.Copy !req
329. Now this time, the white
fascist narratorCopy !req
330. will make a racial slur!Copy !req
331. Oh, but what do I know?Copy !req
332. I'm only a fat pink announcerCopy !req
333. mowing down pretzels and
pinwheel cookiesCopy !req
334. and trying to come to grips
with the tattered endsCopy !req
335. of a once promising life
gone horribly wrong.Copy !req
336. God, god, why?Copy !req
337. It's just a movie.Copy !req
338. Alfredo doesn't like to
get his feet wetCopy !req
339. coming ashore.Copy !req
340. The triple straight jump
has crowd appeal.Copy !req
341. Once more for the cameraman.Copy !req
342. One for my baby and one more,
for the cameraman.Copy !req
343. This is the shot he was after.Copy !req
344. Where's the third fellow?Copy !req
345. He's chicken, never
jumped at all.Copy !req
346. What's this?Copy !req
347. He's forced his way into the
announcer's booth!Copy !req
348. What's that in his hand?Copy !req
349. Oh no, ah!Copy !req
350. Believe it or not, even
water skiers get downCopy !req
351. with that old bugaboo monotony.Copy !req
352. So they choke each other
with their tow ropes.Copy !req
353. When that happens,Copy !req
354. the boys play a little game.Copy !req
355. They call it the
Cypress Garden weave.Copy !req
356. They call it
the sure death.Copy !req
357. Well I hope they're
all pepped up,Copy !req
358. because I'm exhausted.Copy !req
359. Yes, waterskiing today
is a big sport,Copy !req
360. and here is the big sendoff
from the whole gang.Copy !req
361. V is for Victory!Copy !req
362. Buy war bonds where you
work or bank!Copy !req
363. Aw.Copy !req
364. Catching Trouble?Copy !req
365. Hello everybody, this
is Ted Husing,Copy !req
366. and I'm very happy to again
present Sport Light'sCopy !req
367. good friend Ross AllenCopy !req
368. Hi, Ross!Copy !req
369. A modern Tarzan.Copy !req
370. Oh, he's going golfing.Copy !req
371. Leaving his headquarters,Copy !req
372. headed for the mysterious and
fascinating Everglades,Copy !req
373. where he will pick up his
faithful Seminole Indian guideCopy !req
374. to aid him in catching a
bag of trouble.Copy !req
375. Ross also plays the part of Lil'
Abner in summer theatre.Copy !req
376. Well he's a foley artist in
the off season.Copy !req
377. In a log dugout canoe,Copy !req
378. they head into the
swamp country.Copy !req
379. Do not bring your evil here.Copy !req
380. His daily job is
catching live animalsCopy !req
381. and reptiles for the zoos.Copy !req
382. But at night he does StreisandCopy !req
383. at the Bubble Room on Captiva.Copy !req
384. Well, this is a
different assignment.Copy !req
385. And a true depiction of
actually filling an orderCopy !req
386. he recently received.Copy !req
387. - It said... - Kill
Colonel Kurtz.Copy !req
388. Catch immediately one
live bobcat,Copy !req
389. two cub black bears,Copy !req
390. and three six-foot
diamondback rattlers.Copy !req
391. And two hard-boiled eggs.Copy !req
392. Make that three
hard-boiled eggs.Copy !req
393. They leave the dugoutCopy !req
394. and go into the Glades afoot.Copy !req
395. With Emo Phillips in a dress!Copy !req
396. I was wondering if maybe I could
follow you into the woodsCopy !req
397. and maybe we could see
some animals.Copy !req
398. Now folks, this has
all been leveledCopy !req
399. and turned into a golf course.Copy !req
400. Wild cat, let's go that way!Copy !req
401. Wild cat, I think I love you,Copy !req
402. but I wanna know for sure.Copy !req
403. While the cat's away...Copy !req
404. Whoa.Copy !req
405. Lens problem there.Copy !req
406. High and dry but not as safe
as an alley cat.Copy !req
407. That's a little joke
from me, Ted Husing,Copy !req
408. in the booth.Copy !req
409. Stay there, wild cat!Copy !req
410. You'll soon be coming down.Copy !req
411. Ross is no actor, as
you can see.Copy !req
412. Talk him down, Emo.Copy !req
413. Oops.Copy !req
414. That's one tree he
won't climb again.Copy !req
415. He lands on all four feet
and goes to town,Copy !req
416. but Ross keeps his eye on himCopy !req
417. and he's right on his heels.Copy !req
418. You know Ross is no stranger
to raping the land.Copy !req
419. Hey Mr. Cat, you can't do that.Copy !req
420. Don't you know you're
wanted in Chicago?Copy !req
421. For voting twice?Copy !req
422. Up he goes, and so goes Ross.Copy !req
423. That's a bad limb, hop to
the next one, pussy.Copy !req
424. Hey!Copy !req
425. He's talking about the cat.Copy !req
426. This is where my boyfriend
knows his stuff.Copy !req
427. Hey Ted, you don't have to say
anything more, Ted.Copy !req
428. If you think trying to smuggleCopy !req
429. a fighting 35-pound wild cat
into a flour bagCopy !req
430. as you balance yourself on a
limb is child's play,Copy !req
431. oh ho, you've got
another guess coming.Copy !req
432. Oh boy, yeah yowza, yes sir,
whatamatoo.Copy !req
433. Ho ho, 23 skidoo.Copy !req
434. Oh.Copy !req
435. Well, he's in the bag!Copy !req
436. And so am I, Ted Husing.Copy !req
437. Yes, go for it!Copy !req
438. Yay, the cat got away!Copy !req
439. The cat escapes north through
the Underground Railroad!Copy !req
440. And he just ripped a hunk of
skin off his inner thigh.Copy !req
441. Say, you made a mistake
picking that tree.Copy !req
442. I'm afraid you're out of
luck this time.Copy !req
443. Bite me, I will prevail!Copy !req
444. Mine is a noble race!Copy !req
445. Put some salt on his tail Mr.
Allen,Copy !req
446. and don't take any more
feline back talk!Copy !req
447. Well that's nice.Copy !req
448. Gee.Copy !req
449. Well it's in the bag,
and so Ross AllenCopy !req
450. fills one third of his
day's orders.Copy !req
451. What's next?Copy !req
452. Hurting the people you
know and love?Copy !req
453. Chasing rabbits on a minibike
until their hearts explode?Copy !req
454. Order number two was
soon at hand,Copy !req
455. and he was ready.Copy !req
456. Sh, wait!Copy !req
457. I hear something living.Copy !req
458. It's a teddy bear, oh.Copy !req
459. Bear cubs can't mess
you up much,Copy !req
460. but they can scratch
with feelingCopy !req
461. or take off a couple fingers if
you're not careful.Copy !req
462. So beat him savagely!Copy !req
463. And while Ross approaches
the young bruin,Copy !req
464. old sour puss keeps his eyes
peeled for trouble.Copy !req
465. Now if he can catch him by the
loose skin on his back,Copy !req
466. he's okay.Copy !req
467. Run!Copy !req
468. Get away!Copy !req
469. He gets away!Copy !req
470. And a flying tackle
blocks the touchdown,Copy !req
471. but he's up and off again.Copy !req
472. He's away!Copy !req
473. Catch him, Ross,Copy !req
474. don't let that little
fella get away.Copy !req
475. Come on, step on it.Copy !req
476. Man, would I love to see
that cub's mom comeCopy !req
477. through the woods right now.Copy !req
478. Mhm.Copy !req
479. About six months old.Copy !req
480. I might as well get that runt of
yours up the street.Copy !req
481. So it's Ross two,
Everglades nothing.Copy !req
482. Throw him down a few times,
Ross.Copy !req
483. What are you, scared?Copy !req
484. Come on, beat him up.Copy !req
485. I got him.Copy !req
486. And look, it's Alice B. Toklas.Copy !req
487. There's another one back there.Copy !req
488. Better go get him.Copy !req
489. Take him on in.Copy !req
490. Hey, and crack a window in
the canoe, Emo!Copy !req
491. Now, my advice as a
big game hunterCopy !req
492. is for one of you to get
out of that tree.Copy !req
493. I know he's a little bear,Copy !req
494. but unless you do not
choose to run, Ross,Copy !req
495. you better get aground
and make him jump.Copy !req
496. Though it's a cinch for me
to give advice.Copy !req
497. Is that a bear or a monkey?Copy !req
498. Who are you talking about?Copy !req
499. Joel, do they do this on Earth?Copy !req
500. Isn't this wrong?Copy !req
501. Yeah guys, I'm deeply ashamed of
my race right now, okay?Copy !req
502. - Bear down, bear down. -
Deservedly so.Copy !req
503. There's nothing like
exerting your powerCopy !req
504. over helpless creatures,
is there, Ross?Copy !req
505. This is what you get for not
being a white male.Copy !req
506. The black twins are
tied in camp.Copy !req
507. Ross tries to towel away the
evil, but nothing doing.Copy !req
508. Next he's going on a panda raid.Copy !req
509. We've got time to get
those rattlesnakes.Copy !req
510. Bears seem to be all right.Copy !req
511. Take this sack. Let's go.Copy !req
512. Yeah whatever, just
give me the bag.Copy !req
513. That's a cute guy.Copy !req
514. Yeah.Copy !req
515. Mischievous youngsters,
these twins.Copy !req
516. Oh, they'd be swell playmates
for your youngster.Copy !req
517. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
518. If you like mauled kids.Copy !req
519. Oh, they upset Grizzly Adams'
stash there, look.Copy !req
520. Wait a minute Greg, hold it.Copy !req
521. They want us to do this!Copy !req
522. Ross locates reptilesCopy !req
523. by finding their
tracks in the sand.Copy !req
524. This means business.Copy !req
525. Slash and burn is the best wayCopy !req
526. to catch these little critters.Copy !req
527. Hey, here's his sheds!Copy !req
528. Two sheds?Copy !req
529. He must be in here!Copy !req
530. I'm going around here
to build a fireCopy !req
531. and make it smoke to
scare him out.Copy !req
532. You stay here.Copy !req
533. Oh, really good read, Ross.Copy !req
534. Rattlers seek the dark coolnessCopy !req
535. of the palmetto bushes.Copy !req
536. Oh, don't we all.Copy !req
537. Smoke drives them out
into the open.Copy !req
538. Sure, the fire kills others,Copy !req
539. but they're acceptable losses.Copy !req
540. Six feet of deadly diamondback.Copy !req
541. Enough to scare you out
of your skin.Copy !req
542. Well let's not forget who the
real evil serpent is.Copy !req
543. This is Ross' profession,Copy !req
544. and I know he didn't learn
that in college.Copy !req
545. No, he didn't even get out
of the fifth grade!Copy !req
546. But I kid, Ross.Copy !req
547. A shivering thrill with
the slow motionCopy !req
548. of his strike.Copy !req
549. But my boyfriend knows
when to side step.Copy !req
550. Hey, he says he likes
you as a friendCopy !req
551. but he's not your boyfriend,
okay?Copy !req
552. Come on Ross, get a life.Copy !req
553. Put him away, Ross, before
he changes his mindCopy !req
554. and crawls into our camera case.Copy !req
555. Do you hear those
rattlers rattling?Copy !req
556. Now it's off to Neiman MarcusCopy !req
557. to become a Paloma
Picasso handbag.Copy !req
558. Old sour puss certainly has
a sense of humor,Copy !req
559. eh, what?Copy !req
560. Eh what?Copy !req
561. You Terry Thomas all
of a sudden?Copy !req
562. And some more rattling good fun.Copy !req
563. Must we go on?Copy !req
564. No!Copy !req
565. Sorry to annoy you folks,Copy !req
566. but we need this cute
little fellow.Copy !req
567. Get him, snake, get him!Copy !req
568. Snake, snake, snake, snake!Copy !req
569. Go, snake!Copy !req
570. Tell me when he's in the bag,
Ross.Copy !req
571. I can't look.Copy !req
572. I'm in the bag, Ross.Copy !req
573. Now you've got a boat
load of live cargo.Copy !req
574. A wild cat, three
six-foot rattlers,Copy !req
575. and a couple of
little teddy bears.Copy !req
576. It seems to me I'd
call it a day,Copy !req
577. or call a taxi or something.Copy !req
578. Or call PETA.Copy !req
579. Well that's a day's work
for any of us,Copy !req
580. and I think you deserve a rest.Copy !req
581. And let's leave Emo behind.Copy !req
582. Get out of there.Copy !req
583. Hey look out, he's
going to jump!Copy !req
584. Swim papillon, swim!Copy !req
585. Fly away!Copy !req
586. Go!Copy !req
587. Sorry I spoke,Copy !req
588. I thought you were all finished.Copy !req
589. Huh?Copy !req
590. Well it's easy to pickCopy !req
591. catching a bear underwater.Copy !req
592. Oh there just happened to be a
camera under the water.Copy !req
593. Whets your appetite.Copy !req
594. Come on Ross, drown him!Copy !req
595. He won't try it again.Copy !req
596. That little rascal is a
swimming fool.Copy !req
597. Aw.Copy !req
598. That about winds up things,Copy !req
599. and with a break of luck,Copy !req
600. he and his Seminole were
back at headquartersCopy !req
601. to make ready their
order for shipping,Copy !req
602. little caring what tomorrow's
mail would ask for.Copy !req
603. Welcome to the penal colony
of French Guinea.Copy !req
604. Take these cubsCopy !req
605. and give 'em some milk.Copy !req
606. Be careful, they've been a
lot of trouble.Copy !req
607. We'd just like to
apologize to everyoneCopy !req
608. everywhere for this.Copy !req
609. Yeah.Copy !req
610. Be it ever so humble,Copy !req
611. there's no place like home.Copy !req
612. Any animal caught in the wild
spends a night in the box.Copy !req
613. Oh, here we watch Ross put a
jimmy stick under its nails.Copy !req
614. What's he doing there?Copy !req
615. Why couldn't he have just thrown
the bag of snakes in?Copy !req
616. Oh hurry up Ross.Copy !req
617. I'll be dreaming of those cute,
darling,Copy !req
618. coy, lovable little playmates
of yours all night.Copy !req
619. And the snakes, too.Copy !req
620. Please feed us!Copy !req
621. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
622. Hey, I hear you, friends.Copy !req
623. Well Ross, you can
catch more troubleCopy !req
624. than any man I know.Copy !req
625. Well Ross, we're outta here,
personally.Copy !req
626. We're disgusted.Copy !req
627. I am offended deeply.Copy !req
628. I know.Copy !req
629. And hello again, folks.Copy !req
630. This is your announcer,
Tom Ted Husing.Copy !req
631. Today we bring you
another adventureCopy !req
632. from the Satellite of Love's
Reptile Institute.Copy !req
633. Wait, here comes Joel Robinson,Copy !req
634. the Satellite of Love's
resident Tarzan,Copy !req
635. defender of animal justice,Copy !req
636. followed by his faithful
Seminole stand-up guide,Copy !req
637. Emo Crow.Copy !req
638. I was just wondering if.Copy !req
639. It's a pretty good
impersonation, but too badCopy !req
640. this Seminole guy doesn't
have any lines,Copy !req
641. as this is pretty
much a voiceover.Copy !req
642. The morning mail brings a
letter from PETA.Copy !req
643. Go out and catch the slimiest
of all creatures,Copy !req
644. the great white Ross.Copy !req
645. Here's the shed over here.Copy !req
646. You go that way, I'll
go this way.Copy !req
647. And there he is.Copy !req
648. Whoa, watch out Joel, that
little guy's as helplessCopy !req
649. as a baby bear cub, but he can
take a few fingers offCopy !req
650. or give you a nasty bruise.Copy !req
651. Well, it doesn't hurt
the little fella,Copy !req
652. but boy is it fun.Copy !req
653. Uh oh, here comes Emo,Copy !req
654. and he's got the right idea.Copy !req
655. And sometimes you have to be
prepared to smoke 'em out.Copy !req
656. My boyfriend always
comes prepared.Copy !req
657. How 'bout a little fire,
scarecrow?Copy !req
658. Ah, no, you never said anything
about using an open flameCopy !req
659. in this sketch!Copy !req
660. And into the bag he goes.Copy !req
661. No, not the bag!Copy !req
662. You know I hate the bag!Copy !req
663. Once Ross is in the bag,
it's hammer time.Copy !req
664. This isn't really important,Copy !req
665. but after a long day
in the woods,Copy !req
666. it's quite a rush!Copy !req
667. Oh, no!Copy !req
668. Hello, Mr. Rattler's here to
keep Ross company!Copy !req
669. It's a long ride home in the
bottom of a canoeCopy !req
670. and we don't want Ross
to get lonely.Copy !req
671. Not the giant rattler!Copy !req
672. I can't do that, he hates me!Copy !req
673. We went to camp together!Copy !req
674. Once back in camp, Ross'
quarters are readied.Copy !req
675. We can't take it there.Copy !req
676. Oh no, with the rattler!Copy !req
677. Now Ross can relax in
relative comfortCopy !req
678. in the safety of captivity.Copy !req
679. We leave you with this question.Copy !req
680. If you enjoyed Catching
Trouble in any way,Copy !req
681. there's something
wrong with you.Copy !req
682. Any questions?Copy !req
683. Yeah, we stuck it to the man!Copy !req
684. In the beginning,
there was chaos.Copy !req
685. Run by Bernie Kopell.Copy !req
686. Chaos.Copy !req
687. Oh, and then God showed up.Copy !req
688. And a voice said, let
there be light.Copy !req
689. Oh, this is a Biblical chalk
talk, I've seen these.Copy !req
690. And the dark was separated
from the light.Copy !req
691. And permanent press was
separated from cottons.Copy !req
692. There was created the waters,
and the land.Copy !req
693. And Charleton Heston.Copy !req
694. And there were made the sun
to rule the dayCopy !req
695. and the moon to rule the night.Copy !req
696. And jugglers got the rest.Copy !req
697. Woo, good job.Copy !req
698. You've been at the Renn Fest.Copy !req
699. The Earth was made to bearCopy !req
700. growing green things, and fruit.Copy !req
701. Frogs.Copy !req
702. Oh, this is Fantasia before
they colorized it.Copy !req
703. The animals were created,Copy !req
704. and they were fruitful,
and multiplied.Copy !req
705. They all look like orphan Annie!Copy !req
706. And then there came... man.Copy !req
707. To screw the whole thing up!Copy !req
708. Yay!Copy !req
709. Well, what about Ross?Copy !req
710. Oh, this is Bonanza, they're
showing us the Bonanza.Copy !req
711. Teenage caveman?Copy !req
712. We're all cavemen!Copy !req
713. But do you recall the most
famous reindeer of all?Copy !req
714. Robert Vaughn for the
Helsinki formula.Copy !req
715. Frank De Kova of F Troop, wow!Copy !req
716. And Jonathan Haze,
all in my brain.Copy !req
717. Robert Shayne, come back,
Shayne!Copy !req
718. To our children's
children's children.Copy !req
719. Based on the stage play by
Lillian Hellman.Copy !req
720. Oh, The Caveman's Hour.Copy !req
721. Oh, Floyd Crosby, oh yes.Copy !req
722. Whoa!Copy !req
723. Going down?Copy !req
724. That was quick.Copy !req
725. Oh, Al!Copy !req
726. Bravo Al, bravo.Copy !req
727. You are enjoyed, my friend.Copy !req
728. Roger Corman.Copy !req
729. Well, this must have been
filmed painstakinglyCopy !req
730. over the course of three days.Copy !req
731. Are you cooking in your room?Copy !req
732. No cooking in the rooms!Copy !req
733. Yeah, trogs like us, baby we
were born to run.Copy !req
734. Oh, they're making reindeer
upside-down cake.Copy !req
735. Ooh, festive.Copy !req
736. What?Copy !req
737. Oh, it's an Escher mountain.Copy !req
738. Oh, to live on Escher Mountain.Copy !req
739. Another pleasant valley Sunday.Copy !req
740. Doc Severinsen's on
the horn here.Copy !req
741. How green was my valley?Copy !req
742. Not very.Copy !req
743. You know, I'm just
guessing guys,Copy !req
744. but since this is a Corman film,Copy !req
745. we better get used to
this scenery.Copy !req
746. Yep.Copy !req
747. One location wonder.Copy !req
748. Can we keep it Daddy,
can we keep it?Copy !req
749. Hey, that woman's in
a skunk pelt.Copy !req
750. Where's the boy?Copy !req
751. Ugg.Copy !req
752. Beyond the river?Copy !req
753. Oog.Copy !req
754. That guy's wearing a seat cover.Copy !req
755. Hm, sheepskin.Copy !req
756. Open channel D, please.Copy !req
757. Oh, good thing I had
the safety on,Copy !req
758. I could have blown
your head off.Copy !req
759. You know the law.Copy !req
760. Sure, US Code 10413A, the
spear and lance policy.Copy !req
761. But you went beyond the river!Copy !req
762. Only a little ways.Copy !req
763. Things are there!Copy !req
764. Get off my back, man.Copy !req
765. Animals with their shoulders
as high as my head.Copy !req
766. Oh wow, five feet.Copy !req
767. Small creatures all around.Copy !req
768. It's forbidden.Copy !req
769. Why?Copy !req
770. The law.Copy !req
771. The law holds us from the
mountain beyond the plains.Copy !req
772. The law hold us from the things
that swim in the river,Copy !req
773. the creatures that
fill the forest,Copy !req
774. the fruits of the growing trees.Copy !req
775. Oh, leave Phil out of this!Copy !req
776. What kind of law?Copy !req
777. The law that's given and good.Copy !req
778. In the plain we sit and die,
red and dried out.Copy !req
779. And there.Copy !req
780. Why do we hunt in a place where
there are dead treesCopy !req
781. and only a few animals to
give to the fire,Copy !req
782. when there's plenty there?Copy !req
783. Why am I thinking about
gas stations?Copy !req
784. I don't know, hm.Copy !req
785. Promises a lot but gives
only a place to die.Copy !req
786. Oh, like Hollywood.Copy !req
787. There are shadows there
deep and coldCopy !req
788. and dirt that eats men.Copy !req
789. And kids that eat paste!Copy !req
790. Animals far more terrible
than you've seen,Copy !req
791. and other things!Copy !req
792. Cheap models, bad
special effects.Copy !req
793. And you were there,
beyond the river.Copy !req
794. Aye, once, only once.Copy !req
795. Okay, twice!Copy !req
796. I wondered as you do.Copy !req
797. Because I did, I tell you to
listen to the lawCopy !req
798. and hold to it.Copy !req
799. This other thing.Copy !req
800. It is called by a name.Copy !req
801. The name is, Thingy.Copy !req
802. The god that gives death
with its touch.Copy !req
803. What is it like?Copy !req
804. Well, it was kind of round on
one side, oh, just come on!Copy !req
805. Caveman without a cause.Copy !req
806. All right, I'm coming,
I'm coming!Copy !req
807. Hey, he's got a clean spear now.Copy !req
808. He must have stopped at L.L.
Bean on the way.Copy !req
809. When it's dark, we'll make the
symbols for the hunt.Copy !req
810. Uh Dad, can I borrow
your sport coat?Copy !req
811. Move aside Pops, I'll go first.Copy !req
812. He will never reach the
rites of manhood.Copy !req
813. Hey, we're talking here.Copy !req
814. Aw...Copy !req
815. Say, I can't decide,
blonde or brunette?Copy !req
816. How about dinner, movie, and a
drag by the hair?Copy !req
817. Morning Kyle, hi Trevor.Copy !req
818. Why do you do what you do?Copy !req
819. So that I'm free for auditions.Copy !req
820. Hey, Willie Nelson!Copy !req
821. Why do you keep such
a small fire?Copy !req
822. To roast mini marshmallows?Copy !req
823. It's the first of the three
great gifts of man.Copy !req
824. The first in a series offered by
the Franklin Mint.Copy !req
825. Why should you sit
here and tend it,Copy !req
826. when it is all around, at
every cook fire?Copy !req
827. When it can be made from
the fire rock.Copy !req
828. Or from flicking your Bic.Copy !req
829. It's the first of the three
great gifts of man.Copy !req
830. Along with retson and
martinizing.Copy !req
831. Oh, and here's George
Bernard Shaw.Copy !req
832. What good is it to worship a
thing that turns?Copy !req
833. It is the second of the
great gifts of man.Copy !req
834. And it's better than the leather
mug stand I used to have.Copy !req
835. Have you seen my training bra?Copy !req
836. Do you question the keepers
of the gifts often?Copy !req
837. Just when I get a wild hair.Copy !req
838. Four guys got a shaggy
diaper that leaks.Copy !req
839. I know. I did once myself.Copy !req
840. These diapers are my punishment.Copy !req
841. Why tend a small fire?Copy !req
842. Why spin a wheel that
has little use?Copy !req
843. Why ask why?Copy !req
844. And more than that, why build
in order to break?Copy !req
845. Yes, why does he?Copy !req
846. Why do you build, and break?Copy !req
847. It's the third gift to man.Copy !req
848. Vandalism!Copy !req
849. And the first great lesson.Copy !req
850. Audition for every part you can.Copy !req
851. He always says the same.Copy !req
852. They all do.Copy !req
853. Looks like the fourth gift
is Vitalis, Robert.Copy !req
854. It is the word of the law.Copy !req
855. But what does it mean?Copy !req
856. It would take a brave, strong
man to know that.Copy !req
857. So let's go get one!Copy !req
858. Nothing can be learned
in this place.Copy !req
859. It's like high school!Copy !req
860. There is nothing here
to teach you!Copy !req
861. Just stay away from my chick,
man.Copy !req
862. I gotta get out of this picture,Copy !req
863. I'm calling my agent back.Copy !req
864. Before the hunt, two makers of
symbols there will be.Copy !req
865. Siljen and Pasty.Copy !req
866. Symbol makers are the
dreams of the people,Copy !req
867. are the tellers to God
of the people.Copy !req
868. Hey, it's Grady from
Sanford and Son!Copy !req
869. Yeah, yeah, are we not men.Copy !req
870. Are you wearing eyeshadow?Copy !req
871. And the darkness, and the
masters of fire.Copy !req
872. He should open with a
joke next time.Copy !req
873. Hello, I just invented
another torch.Copy !req
874. Symbol makers are the
light of the people.Copy !req
875. And the light of the party!Copy !req
876. And the glory and the light.Copy !req
877. Let the symbols be made.Copy !req
878. I now pronounce, oh I did
the wrong ceremony.Copy !req
879. Boy, he looks great.Copy !req
880. You think he's doing
Jenny Craig?Copy !req
881. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
882. Trim.Copy !req
883. How long have we been
symbol makers?Copy !req
884. We have placed five
times our own lifeCopy !req
885. in the varial appearance.Copy !req
886. Hm?Copy !req
887. Why are we the symbol makers,Copy !req
888. out of all the clan?Copy !req
889. We have the gift to see visions,Copy !req
890. and the skill with which
to preach them.Copy !req
891. It is best that such
skills serve the law.Copy !req
892. And we have all the markers.Copy !req
893. Can the symbols really bring the
animals into our handsCopy !req
894. so that we can kill them?Copy !req
895. You ask many things lately.Copy !req
896. Well, he's at that awkward age.Copy !req
897. I wonder.Copy !req
898. Do you ask them of any of
the clan but me?Copy !req
899. They tell me nothing.Copy !req
900. I tell you this.Copy !req
901. It is forbidden by the law to
question the signsCopy !req
902. and gifts and
mysteries of the gods.Copy !req
903. Sign, sign, everywhere a sign.Copy !req
904. Now come on, grab a spray can,
let's get started.Copy !req
905. Could you invent a scaffold?Copy !req
906. One thing.Copy !req
907. This thing that gives death
with its touch.Copy !req
908. Penny Marshall?Copy !req
909. You saw it?Copy !req
910. No.Copy !req
911. Then how do you know
it's so terrible?Copy !req
912. I was shown its look by the
symbol maker before me.Copy !req
913. Oh, and if he jumped off a
bridge would you?Copy !req
914. Show me.Copy !req
915. Must be from Missouri.Copy !req
916. Okay, now Charlie
Brown's easy to drawCopy !req
917. 'cause his head's basically a
circle, like this, see.Copy !req
918. It is bigger than a man,
but not so bigCopy !req
919. as the great animals.Copy !req
920. And Linus has a bent skull,
he's a bit hard.Copy !req
921. Its claws are like those of the
great swamp creatures.Copy !req
922. They hold and move like a man's.Copy !req
923. But they're made for a woman's.Copy !req
924. Out there beyond the river,Copy !req
925. it rules all things, all
things period.Copy !req
926. Uh huh.Copy !req
927. Nice painting, Dad.Copy !req
928. The law was given to us
to keep us safe.Copy !req
929. I think that's gonna
need two coats.Copy !req
930. It is hard not to question,Copy !req
931. but unless we live by the
word and the law,Copy !req
932. death will come to us.Copy !req
933. I gotta find my clothes and get
the heck outta here.Copy !req
934. Wonder no more.Copy !req
935. I wonder still.Copy !req
936. I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonder.Copy !req
937. All done in there, you two?Copy !req
938. Yeah, but light a torch
before you go in, whew!Copy !req
939. Symbols are made!Copy !req
940. I think.Copy !req
941. When the fire comes
back to the sky.Copy !req
942. You mean morning?Copy !req
943. The clan will make
the first hunt.Copy !req
944. We'll split for, say,
seven days.Copy !req
945. Oh wait, that one burned, ow,
stings.Copy !req
946. Who's gonna invent a thong?Copy !req
947. Owie.Copy !req
948. Oh, look!Copy !req
949. We are all Neanderthal.Copy !req
950. We are all Neanderthal.Copy !req
951. We are gonna have a ball.Copy !req
952. We are gonna have a ball.Copy !req
953. What are they, hunting babies?Copy !req
954. Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man,
play a song for me!Copy !req
955. What is this?Copy !req
956. I'm not sleepy, oh, never mind.Copy !req
957. Boom chaka laka laka.Copy !req
958. Oh look, it's a bathroom rug
crawling towards us.Copy !req
959. Warriors, come out and play!Copy !req
960. His spear didn't go off!Copy !req
961. And look, it's a real bear.Copy !req
962. Nah, bears don't get up on
their knees like that.Copy !req
963. He just killed Henry De Silva!Copy !req
964. Well, there they are.Copy !req
965. Patty, Maxine and Laverne.Copy !req
966. I hope they emptied
that bear first.Copy !req
967. The hunters return!Copy !req
968. But the charcoal's not ready!Copy !req
969. It's not white enough yet.Copy !req
970. Oh, we're gonna take him to the
intensive care cave.Copy !req
971. A man mauled by a bear,Copy !req
972. on Emergency Oog Ugg Ung.Copy !req
973. Okay, give me the three silk.Copy !req
974. Now the metson balms.Copy !req
975. Boy, this bullet is buried deep,
close to his heart.Copy !req
976. He was killed by a bear.Copy !req
977. Oh, the bear claws.Copy !req
978. Hey, I just invented
malpractice!Copy !req
979. Colleen Dewhurst?Copy !req
980. Wait a minute, this
man's not insured.Copy !req
981. Get him out of here!Copy !req
982. Quick, somebody invent the
machine that goes ping.Copy !req
983. Let's see, it's a ladder stitch,Copy !req
984. so knit one, knit pearl two,
knit one, pearl two.Copy !req
985. Looks like he's stitching him up
with a tongue depressor.Copy !req
986. This is bogus man, I'm
getting some air.Copy !req
987. Any mail for me?Copy !req
988. Another hurt in the hunt.Copy !req
989. This time your own blood.Copy !req
990. One brave man could
get meat enoughCopy !req
991. to keep the fires hot for
many days of the sun.Copy !req
992. You use meat to keep
your fires hot?Copy !req
993. The law is strange.Copy !req
994. When you're a stranger.Copy !req
995. It is the word that
death will be givenCopy !req
996. to the one who goes there.Copy !req
997. What are you, chicken?Copy !req
998. Come on, bawk bawk bawk bawk.Copy !req
999. Have you ever wondered what is
beyond the burning plain?Copy !req
1000. Have you never been mellow?Copy !req
1001. Beyond the river?Copy !req
1002. Farther.Copy !req
1003. Mother.Copy !req
1004. Perhaps beyond the
great green forest.Copy !req
1005. Uh, nope.Copy !req
1006. If my legs could bear me.Copy !req
1007. What a tale they'd tell.Copy !req
1008. I'd find out.Copy !req
1009. About the digger and the dealer
and the dog as well.Copy !req
1010. Oh, put some clothes on.Copy !req
1011. Why, it's funny man Ray
Stevens as Guitarzan!Copy !req
1012. Matthew, Mr. Dylan, there's
trouble up at the long branch!Copy !req
1013. Psst, Willie!Copy !req
1014. You holding?Copy !req
1015. What does the law say of he who
would question the law?Copy !req
1016. He must be punished.Copy !req
1017. How?Copy !req
1018. Spankings, lot of 'em.Copy !req
1019. Ooh.Copy !req
1020. All will keep their voices
from him for a time,Copy !req
1021. according to the years.Copy !req
1022. And if the law is broken so that
evil comes to the clan?Copy !req
1023. So much the better.Copy !req
1024. Death.Copy !req
1025. By chocolate.Copy !req
1026. Aye.Copy !req
1027. Come on, down him, down him!Copy !req
1028. Come on, finish it!Copy !req
1029. Hey, Tony Bennett!Copy !req
1030. All the teens are meeting at the
drive-in cave painting.Copy !req
1031. Meat of the furred beast
won't last long.Copy !req
1032. A new hunt will go into the
forest and bare trees,Copy !req
1033. where only killing things roam.Copy !req
1034. What the heck are you
talking about?Copy !req
1035. Only a few steps
beyond the river,Copy !req
1036. there is meat in plenty,
waiting to be killed.Copy !req
1037. Wait, there's a good deli
over there too!Copy !req
1038. Sinking Earth is out there.Copy !req
1039. Well then we will test the step
ahead with a spear.Copy !req
1040. Ow!Copy !req
1041. The place smokes, and fire
bursts from the rocks.Copy !req
1042. Animals as big as caves rule
beyond the river.Copy !req
1043. Oh you, wood tick, yeah.
They are so bigCopy !req
1044. and we are so small.Copy !req
1045. They won't see us.Copy !req
1046. The god that gives death with
a touch is there.Copy !req
1047. Have you seen?Copy !req
1048. Uh, nope.Copy !req
1049. Ain't seem him.Copy !req
1050. Has anyone of the clan seen it?Copy !req
1051. Uh, I heard about it.Copy !req
1052. The grey beard tells of the god.Copy !req
1053. Long ago, when he could reach no
higher than my knee.Copy !req
1054. I could whip his butt
in basketball.Copy !req
1055. The law is old!Copy !req
1056. And the night is young!Copy !req
1057. Age is not always truth.Copy !req
1058. And truth is not always beauty.Copy !req
1059. How many will go with me?Copy !req
1060. Well let's see, I'll total.Copy !req
1061. Dave's out, uh, well,Copy !req
1062. zero.Copy !req
1063. Yeah, I gotta go
discover bronze, man.Copy !req
1064. Later for you.Copy !req
1065. Not even the hunters of years
will go after the dark.Copy !req
1066. At the first light, then.Copy !req
1067. At the first light take a left
by the Sinclair station.Copy !req
1068. Uh, Ron, don't touch me, please.Copy !req
1069. Are all the men gathered?Copy !req
1070. Ron, let go!Copy !req
1071. I will be here to place your
bodies in the kilnsCopy !req
1072. if the clan can find
what's left of you.Copy !req
1073. Ooh, so the great Raymond
finally speaks.Copy !req
1074. Uh, Ron, I'm gonna count to 10Copy !req
1075. for you to get your hand off me.Copy !req
1076. Cut it out, Ron.Copy !req
1077. When you're a Jet, you're a
Jet all the way.Copy !req
1078. The cool ones.Copy !req
1079. Hey you know, that log kind of
looks like a dinosaurCopy !req
1080. if you squint.Copy !req
1081. Little bit, yeah.Copy !req
1082. We gotta go.Copy !req
1083. Wanna get outta here?Copy !req
1084. Hey, do you guys
love having fun?Copy !req
1085. Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
1086. Do you guys like
being with others?Copy !req
1087. Yeah, sure, sure.Copy !req
1088. Well, do you like technology?Copy !req
1089. Is somebody talking in here?Copy !req
1090. Well, I've invented this
artist's renderingCopy !req
1091. to teach you the history
of technology.Copy !req
1092. Oh, no!Copy !req
1093. Joel, you have got to be-Copy !req
1094. Wait a minute, something's
happening in Deep 13!Copy !req
1095. I'm gong to kill you!Copy !req
1096. Well you're going to have
to kill me first!Copy !req
1097. I mean, let go.Copy !req
1098. You want it?Copy !req
1099. Here it is!Copy !req
1100. Well come and get it.Copy !req
1101. You're gonna die.Copy !req
1102. I'm taking hair, Frank.Copy !req
1103. Hey, how 'bout them Twins, huh?Copy !req
1104. I think they're doing
rather well.Copy !req
1105. Yeah, if you're counting
good pitching.Copy !req
1106. Well, the pitching's
kinda tough,Copy !req
1107. but I think they're gonna have
to try to get high.Copy !req
1108. Lookit, it's funny,
Beetle Bailey.Copy !req
1109. Look, Garfield's got a red butt.Copy !req
1110. Oh, hello bubbie.Copy !req
1111. Just a little management labor
dispute, nothing to.Copy !req
1112. And it all finally culminatedCopy !req
1113. in technology's
greatest achievement:Copy !req
1114. the Flying Nun.Copy !req
1115. Ooh, we got movie sign!Copy !req
1116. Well that was exciting Joel,
very informative.Copy !req
1117. Riveting.Copy !req
1118. What's with those scientists?Copy !req
1119. Hey wait, where'd everybody go?Copy !req
1120. Oh oh, there they are.Copy !req
1121. Huh, what do you know.Copy !req
1122. I know I left clothes
around here somewhere.Copy !req
1123. This is a great salad bar.Copy !req
1124. No shoes, no spears, no safari.Copy !req
1125. You know, right now I could go
for a char-grilledCopy !req
1126. hamburger sandwich and some
french fried potatoes.Copy !req
1127. Stop.Copy !req
1128. Hey, somebody built a real
nice atrium here.Copy !req
1129. It's really roomy.Copy !req
1130. There's meat here.Copy !req
1131. Kill and go back.Copy !req
1132. Would you get your hand off me,
Ron?Copy !req
1133. I came to find the truth or lie
of the old stories.Copy !req
1134. I'm not your new best friend.Copy !req
1135. We came to hunt, not to
destroy the word.Copy !req
1136. To drink some brewskis,
you know.Copy !req
1137. I came to give this
earth to the clan.Copy !req
1138. Oh, David Duke?Copy !req
1139. The great animals!Copy !req
1140. Or the god.Copy !req
1141. Yeah, god, it's
a tiger you dope.Copy !req
1142. He thinks it's a god.Copy !req
1143. Look at the boil on his neck,
should I tell him?Copy !req
1144. No, maybe I should.Copy !req
1145. It's a tree, walk around it!Copy !req
1146. No it says, Daniel Boone, killed
a bear in this spot.Copy !req
1147. Open channel D, please.Copy !req
1148. Hey look, it's James Galway.Copy !req
1149. I just invented the pan flute!Copy !req
1150. I hate Zamfir music!Copy !req
1151. Oh here he is, your
komodo dragon.Copy !req
1152. Oh, here comes Wally Gator.Copy !req
1153. What's he got on his back?Copy !req
1154. These two remember to use plenty
of lip and tongue action.Copy !req
1155. See you later, walligator.Copy !req
1156. Throw your spears at the
monster stock footage!Copy !req
1157. This is the last time we go
down to gator country,Copy !req
1158. where the wine and
women are free.Copy !req
1159. Note to myself, bring more
spears next time.Copy !req
1160. Haven't we seen this?Copy !req
1161. Ron.Copy !req
1162. I know we've seen this before.Copy !req
1163. Quit touching me!Copy !req
1164. All right folks, the show's
over, nothing to see here.Copy !req
1165. Move along now, folks.Copy !req
1166. Hey look, they put a branch
office in!Copy !req
1167. Uh uh.Copy !req
1168. Even I didn't like that.Copy !req
1169. Take an arm.Copy !req
1170. I'm footloose and fancy free for
anything that's fancy.Copy !req
1171. Olly olly oxen free!Copy !req
1172. Guess it's a branch.Copy !req
1173. The sinking earth!Copy !req
1174. Help me!Copy !req
1175. Here, grab this razor
sharp spear head.Copy !req
1176. How 'bout some barbed wire,
there!Copy !req
1177. Hey, he's inventing swimming.Copy !req
1178. No, looks like he's
inventing drowning.Copy !req
1179. Fight, come on, you've
never give upCopy !req
1180. on anything in your life before,
fight.Copy !req
1181. Stop, wait, come back.Copy !req
1182. Hey, he cut bait.Copy !req
1183. Yeah, too big.Copy !req
1184. Catch and release, you know.Copy !req
1185. Oh, now we're in trouble.Copy !req
1186. Todd monster bought it.Copy !req
1187. That is one messed up
little dude.Copy !req
1188. You've given one of the
clan to the earth.Copy !req
1189. Hey, I thought he just drowned.Copy !req
1190. Everything's so heavy
around here.Copy !req
1191. What are you waiting for,
a receipt?Copy !req
1192. Beat it!Copy !req
1193. They've returned!Copy !req
1194. They're back!Copy !req
1195. And bigger and better than ever!Copy !req
1196. Oh man, shoot, what
am I gonna say?Copy !req
1197. Oh, he made me go there,Copy !req
1198. yeah that's it, he made me go.Copy !req
1199. This is like the plot of A
Separate Peace.Copy !req
1200. Hey Rocky, how you doing?Copy !req
1201. You can't hit me, you
can't hit anything.Copy !req
1202. Go ahead, give it
your best shot.Copy !req
1203. Come on, try.Copy !req
1204. Ah, you see.Copy !req
1205. You're gonna be on paid
programming, jerk.Copy !req
1206. I still like to hop and
jump and stuff.Copy !req
1207. I'm a man child, you know.Copy !req
1208. I'm your worst nightmare.Copy !req
1209. Got it, hit 'em, trust me,Copy !req
1210. I got him right
between the eyes.Copy !req
1211. You can't see it, but I did.Copy !req
1212. Ah no, I'm still alive!Copy !req
1213. No, you're gonna make a
codpiece out of me.Copy !req
1214. I said in the head,
not the face.Copy !req
1215. I'm hungry, what you
got over there?Copy !req
1216. What's for dinner?Copy !req
1217. Hey, hey!Copy !req
1218. Cross your legs, Robert, you
can see the squirrel.Copy !req
1219. I wanna go home with
that armadillo.Copy !req
1220. Hey buddy, you want an apple?Copy !req
1221. I kid.Copy !req
1222. Say, you got a match, Robert?Copy !req
1223. Yeah.Copy !req
1224. William Shatner and
Robert Vaughan.Copy !req
1225. Lookit, he does got-
He has matches.Copy !req
1226. Unbelievable.Copy !req
1227. I hope they don't see me.Copy !req
1228. I could get in big trouble, this
is a national park.Copy !req
1229. I am powerless over pyromaniaCopy !req
1230. and my life has become
unmanageable.Copy !req
1231. I ate it with Fava beans and a
nice Chianti.Copy !req
1232. Wait a minute, don't eat it,Copy !req
1233. Corman wants to use that for a
monster in his next movie.Copy !req
1234. Hey, you think that fire's
big enough, Bob?Copy !req
1235. Whoa.Copy !req
1236. He looks like H.R. Pufnstuf
after a fiery car wreck.Copy !req
1237. Something goofy this way comes.Copy !req
1238. It's me!Copy !req
1239. I'm Trumpy!Copy !req
1240. Oh yeah.Copy !req
1241. Oh that's okay, don't say hi.Copy !req
1242. I hate to eat and run, but
goodbye.Copy !req
1243. Bob, Bob, Bob of the Jungle,Copy !req
1244. friend to you and me.Copy !req
1245. Watch out for that tree.Copy !req
1246. I guess so.Copy !req
1247. The blood is clean.Copy !req
1248. Hyman Roth?Copy !req
1249. What the heck is he
talking about?Copy !req
1250. No clue.Copy !req
1251. He asks after his son.Copy !req
1252. Oh, he just had a Sealy
Posturpedic morning.Copy !req
1253. Yeah!Copy !req
1254. The boy.Copy !req
1255. I'm mad about the boy.Copy !req
1256. Bring him.Copy !req
1257. He is not here.Copy !req
1258. Where then?Copy !req
1259. Beyond the river.Copy !req
1260. And through the woods, to
grandmother's house he went.Copy !req
1261. A time ago.Copy !req
1262. How long is he gone?Copy !req
1263. Uh, a fireball and
two stones ago.Copy !req
1264. Two risings of the sun.Copy !req
1265. A couple of days, then.Copy !req
1266. Who knows of this?Copy !req
1267. All the clan.Copy !req
1268. He took others with him.Copy !req
1269. They're all talking about it.Copy !req
1270. Aw, if it's not one
thing it's anotherCopy !req
1271. around this crazy tribe.Copy !req
1272. Oh boy, chili
peppers burn my gut.Copy !req
1273. Gotta go see a man about a dog.Copy !req
1274. Your son has broken the law.Copy !req
1275. He is beyond the river.Copy !req
1276. And he's totally off script!Copy !req
1277. Your blood will bring the
death to visit us!Copy !req
1278. As it was told in times past.Copy !req
1279. In the People column.Copy !req
1280. Boy.Copy !req
1281. Boy, crazy boy!Copy !req
1282. Tell me.Copy !req
1283. Your son led us to go
beyond the river.Copy !req
1284. We saw terrible things.Copy !req
1285. Great beasts fighting.Copy !req
1286. F Troop reruns.Copy !req
1287. One of us was taken
by the earth.Copy !req
1288. Which one?Copy !req
1289. - Lumpy, Mr. Cleaver. - A
fair-haired boy.Copy !req
1290. And my son?Copy !req
1291. We left him there.Copy !req
1292. Left him?Copy !req
1293. He didn't follow us back.Copy !req
1294. He's dead.Copy !req
1295. But the evil will come
all the same.Copy !req
1296. He's brought it down upon us.Copy !req
1297. No!Copy !req
1298. I will find him, bring him back!Copy !req
1299. I will leave no stone unturned,Copy !req
1300. starting with this one, yeah.Copy !req
1301. Wait, this is no time to
make flapjacks!Copy !req
1302. Okay, I want you to go deep.Copy !req
1303. Hm?Copy !req
1304. Run around in a circle.Copy !req
1305. At the sun's third rising.Copy !req
1306. We'll call it Wednesday,
about noon.Copy !req
1307. Nice.Copy !req
1308. Elias, Mr. Waverly!Copy !req
1309. Thrush.Copy !req
1310. Hey, he invented the hangover.Copy !req
1311. I think that I will never see a
poem as lovely as, ow!Copy !req
1312. Branch is funny.Copy !req
1313. I'm just a morning person,
what can I say?Copy !req
1314. Oh, he's inventing the violin.Copy !req
1315. Or the loom.Copy !req
1316. Gotta figure a way to pluck
these eyebrows.Copy !req
1317. Oh, come on.Copy !req
1318. Oh, wait, no, come on, let me
get this straight.Copy !req
1319. He got hit on the tree, and he
got smart, right?Copy !req
1320. Yep.Copy !req
1321. Uh huh.Copy !req
1322. Hm.Copy !req
1323. And it's a good thing for me, I
have my trusty dental floss!Copy !req
1324. Why I'm not sure, but I think
I've found the beginningsCopy !req
1325. of an Olympic event!Copy !req
1326. Oh, petting zoo.Copy !req
1327. That seems nice.Copy !req
1328. Yeah, sweet.Copy !req
1329. You will die, doe.Copy !req
1330. Ross all over again.Copy !req
1331. So anyways, as I was saying,
there are three...Copy !req
1332. Honey, that was swell.Copy !req
1333. Well, see you later, dear.Copy !req
1334. I'm gonna go play Mahjong with
Betty and Frieda.Copy !req
1335. Don't you guys ever sleep?Copy !req
1336. Hey, he invented the mink stole!Copy !req
1337. That's a stiff deer.Copy !req
1338. Deerskin jacket.Copy !req
1339. Uh oh, Rob, your dad
found your stash!Copy !req
1340. Look at all of it!Copy !req
1341. Uh oh, they're on a collision
course for wackiness,Copy !req
1342. when Junior meets dad it's all
mixed up!Copy !req
1343. Marmaduke, no!Copy !req
1344. Wait, how can there
be Great DanesCopy !req
1345. when there isn't even
a Denmark yet?Copy !req
1346. That's a nice Chicago Cutlery
knife he's sporting there.Copy !req
1347. Bingo, Benji, Tramp, and Toto.Copy !req
1348. Toto too?Copy !req
1349. Uh huh.Copy !req
1350. Did he steal that from
an elk's lodge?Copy !req
1351. Oh here, take the deer, I gotta
see a man about a...Copy !req
1352. Wait a minute, this is fake,
the deer's fake!Copy !req
1353. Get that guy, after him!Copy !req
1354. Ah, man bites dog.Copy !req
1355. I read about this in the paper.Copy !req
1356. Ooh!Copy !req
1357. All dogs go to heaven.Copy !req
1358. Bowser, no!Copy !req
1359. Come here, you, your
mother is furious.Copy !req
1360. But I was evolving, Dad!Copy !req
1361. Shut up, shut up,
we're going home.Copy !req
1362. Wait until your ancestors get.Copy !req
1363. We live by the word.Copy !req
1364. Grease is the word.Copy !req
1365. We die without it.Copy !req
1366. Oh, he's a
Precambrian evangelist.Copy !req
1367. Mhm.Copy !req
1368. It is told that the
breaker of the lawCopy !req
1369. must be put to death.Copy !req
1370. Doodly doodly doo!Copy !req
1371. Wow, a swish pan!Copy !req
1372. They can use that later in
Man From Uncle!Copy !req
1373. Evil gods will come
down to kill!Copy !req
1374. As in times past.Copy !req
1375. Notice how I punched up the
word kill there?Copy !req
1376. That was my idea.Copy !req
1377. The keeper of the law
knows this is truth.Copy !req
1378. Wake up.Copy !req
1379. The son of the symbol
maker must die.Copy !req
1380. Hey, couldn't he just do some
community service instead?Copy !req
1381. Hey!Copy !req
1382. Hey I don't know, it's new, I
just thought of it.Copy !req
1383. Hey?Copy !req
1384. Each of us have wandered
after the truth.Copy !req
1385. The word tells us that
the law is truth.Copy !req
1386. Mhm.Copy !req
1387. - This one has broken the law. -
The word or the law?Copy !req
1388. But still the gods have not comeCopy !req
1389. as it's told they will come.Copy !req
1390. Door number one! Take
the curtain!Copy !req
1391. Evil's near us.Copy !req
1392. The clan will be no more.Copy !req
1393. I say only to wait
until it does come.Copy !req
1394. And I say it must be kept
from the peopleCopy !req
1395. by another death!Copy !req
1396. Ooh.Copy !req
1397. The word of the law is truth.Copy !req
1398. Let the guilty one be as
dead until manhood.Copy !req
1399. Gee, it's kind of like
Inherit the Wind.Copy !req
1400. Only backwards.Copy !req
1401. No, no!Copy !req
1402. It shall be as the
symbol maker says!Copy !req
1403. Hey, don't I get an appeal?Copy !req
1404. An amateur
photographer caught this footageCopy !req
1405. of early policeman.Copy !req
1406. Stop it, Dad, uncle Bob is
picking on me again!Copy !req
1407. Oh, this must beCopy !req
1408. where professional
wrestling got its start.Copy !req
1409. Ah right, like you had good luck
with that thing before.Copy !req
1410. Why couldn't I just get
cast in Daddy-O?Copy !req
1411. Enough!Copy !req
1412. Hm?Copy !req
1413. Oh, sorry everybody, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1414. What?Copy !req
1415. What did I do? He started it!Copy !req
1416. All right folks, show's over,Copy !req
1417. nothing to see here,
everybody go home.Copy !req
1418. We should have left early.Copy !req
1419. Now there's gonna be
a traffic jam.Copy !req
1420. Oh, suddenly I'm the jerk.Copy !req
1421. Poor sap.Copy !req
1422. Oh, hey.Copy !req
1423. Esther Williams.Copy !req
1424. Now wait a minute,
she's got buttons?Copy !req
1425. No word for day, but
she's got buttons.Copy !req
1426. Terrific.Copy !req
1427. Say.Copy !req
1428. Hey, he's playing a Fudgicle!Copy !req
1429. Fudgsicle.Copy !req
1430. I always called it Fudgicle.Copy !req
1431. Sounds like the theme songCopy !req
1432. from Please Don't Eat
the Daisies.Copy !req
1433. He's gonna eat it later,
it's made of wax.Copy !req
1434. You dropped your soap!Copy !req
1435. Just kidding.Copy !req
1436. Say.Copy !req
1437. I know you're not to give voice
to me or I to you.Copy !req
1438. But I can stand here and
watch you, right?Copy !req
1439. Listen to this voice, then.Copy !req
1440. Oh, I Talked To the Wind
by King Crimson!Copy !req
1441. Actually, I call this one
Opus One, Number One.Copy !req
1442. Um, like, do you know any Tull?Copy !req
1443. That voice I've heard at night.Copy !req
1444. In the life of dreams.Copy !req
1445. His skirt's shorter than hers.Copy !req
1446. I came to find it
beyond the river.Copy !req
1447. It is not a bad place that gives
the voice of dreams.Copy !req
1448. What are you, Carl Jung
all of a sudden?Copy !req
1449. There are strange things.Copy !req
1450. So I wonder how many strange
things there are,Copy !req
1451. beyond the river.Copy !req
1452. He's been to paradise, but
he's never been to me.Copy !req
1453. No.Copy !req
1454. If you break the law again, the
people will give you death.Copy !req
1455. I prefer liberty.Copy !req
1456. I shouldn't give you my voice
until you've been born againCopy !req
1457. after the rites of manhood.Copy !req
1458. Oh, she must be Baptist.Copy !req
1459. Wonder no more.Copy !req
1460. I will always wonder.Copy !req
1461. Look, it's coming
from the plain!Copy !req
1462. What, he wandered in from a
different movie!Copy !req
1463. Get the women in the cave!Copy !req
1464. Bring the weapons!Copy !req
1465. Circle the wagons!Copy !req
1466. You know.Copy !req
1467. What is it?Copy !req
1468. Some thing.Copy !req
1469. Is wrong on Saturn Three.Copy !req
1470. Some beast from beyond
the burning plain.Copy !req
1471. Oh, him again.Copy !req
1472. And the word says nothing
can live there.Copy !req
1473. But beyond.Copy !req
1474. Oh, you mean Detroit?Copy !req
1475. What is it?Copy !req
1476. It is Baloo!Copy !req
1477. What kind of beast is this?Copy !req
1478. Strange, it's evil.Copy !req
1479. Oh, everything's evil with you,Copy !req
1480. can't you just give it a chance?Copy !req
1481. But not from the
place I have been.Copy !req
1482. What is this thing then?Copy !req
1483. The ancient tales tell us
of such things.Copy !req
1484. What things?Copy !req
1485. You know, things!Copy !req
1486. A beast with such a shape,
man and creature.Copy !req
1487. It has hide all over, except
arms and legs in the middle.Copy !req
1488. I say it is evil.Copy !req
1489. Kill it!Copy !req
1490. It moves!Copy !req
1491. It is no one beast, but a
man atop an animal!Copy !req
1492. There is no such thing!Copy !req
1493. No man can stay a beast!Copy !req
1494. It is there before you!Copy !req
1495. I say kill it before it brings
sickness and death!Copy !req
1496. Right right, killing itCopy !req
1497. before it brings sickness
and death, sir.Copy !req
1498. There are men like the
men of the clan,Copy !req
1499. beyond the burning plain!Copy !req
1500. It is not like us!Copy !req
1501. It is some animal!Copy !req
1502. Manimal, or animal?Copy !req
1503. Speak with this man,
don't kill him!Copy !req
1504. Kill him!Copy !req
1505. It came to kill the clan!Copy !req
1506. To bring pestilence and death!Copy !req
1507. Pestilence and death?Copy !req
1508. Come on, you are such
a wet blanket!Copy !req
1509. Kill the beast!Copy !req
1510. Kill, kill, kill!Copy !req
1511. Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill!Copy !req
1512. We have bowling and
miniature golf,Copy !req
1513. we get drunk and make
fun of you guysCopy !req
1514. 'cause we're so stupid.Copy !req
1515. Stand away!Copy !req
1516. There is much to learn
from this man!Copy !req
1517. Hear him, learn!Copy !req
1518. Oh, it's Robert Vaughn.Copy !req
1519. How long will we keep our eyes
turned from the truth?Copy !req
1520. The mark is on you deep!Copy !req
1521. Evil seeks evil.Copy !req
1522. Evil protects evil.Copy !req
1523. There isn't anything against the
law or the word here!Copy !req
1524. This is a brave manCopy !req
1525. who has dared to seek out
others of his kind!Copy !req
1526. - It's Captain Kirk. - Stand
out of the way, boy.Copy !req
1527. I will not.Copy !req
1528. Take him, kill him.Copy !req
1529. Let me guess, he's evil?Copy !req
1530. Wussy.Copy !req
1531. Dickweed.Copy !req
1532. I'm Charleton Heston, if
you can't tell.Copy !req
1533. Here, gimme that.Copy !req
1534. Peace.Copy !req
1535. Pieces.Copy !req
1536. Are you proud?Copy !req
1537. You just killed Sonny Bono.Copy !req
1538. He just killed his only rival
for the role on F Troop.Copy !req
1539. Dad, this bites.Copy !req
1540. Let's book.Copy !req
1541. Aw.Copy !req
1542. You closed your eyes
to the truth.Copy !req
1543. He cried peace.Copy !req
1544. My eyes were opened.Copy !req
1545. No, I never laid a hand on you.Copy !req
1546. Your death would have
done no good.Copy !req
1547. He may have had answers.Copy !req
1548. Perhaps the truth of the law.Copy !req
1549. A law is truth to itself.Copy !req
1550. We must find a new law.Copy !req
1551. What are you, Aristotle
all of a sudden?Copy !req
1552. Will we?Copy !req
1553. We'll try.Copy !req
1554. The word has guided us
for a long time.Copy !req
1555. Only time can change it.Copy !req
1556. And time moves pretty slow
around here, Pops.Copy !req
1557. Well, let's us get moving now,
huh?Copy !req
1558. Yeah, this is bogus, let's book.Copy !req
1559. - A cairn for an evil thing?
- Make a cairn.Copy !req
1560. Hey you know what was really a
downer in this movie, guys?Copy !req
1561. It's that clown in the
mid-calf fur shiftCopy !req
1562. and the Smith brothers
beard carrying onCopy !req
1563. about how everything is so evil,
ooh.Copy !req
1564. Yeah, boy, if I was a
teenage caveman,Copy !req
1565. I'd find an accident to happen
to that guy, and pronto.Copy !req
1566. Well, judging by the
shape of his skull,Copy !req
1567. I'd imagine he's a veteran at
quite a few accidents!Copy !req
1568. That's right, good one.Copy !req
1569. You know that character
is a good exampleCopy !req
1570. that arch conservatism existed
even in pre history.Copy !req
1571. What was that
character's name again?Copy !req
1572. Allen, I think.Copy !req
1573. Right, Allen.Copy !req
1574. He represented people's need to
accept what they have,Copy !req
1575. and fear things that
they didn't have.Copy !req
1576. Whereas the Robert
Vaughn character,Copy !req
1577. do you remember his name?Copy !req
1578. I'm pretty sure it was Travis.Copy !req
1579. Travis.Copy !req
1580. Travis represented people's
needs to take risksCopy !req
1581. to make their worlds better.Copy !req
1582. This position's getting a little
claustrophobic for me.Copy !req
1583. Do you mind if I stretch
out over here?Copy !req
1584. No problem.Copy !req
1585. Anyway, the pendulum of
human developmentCopy !req
1586. has swung back and forthCopy !req
1587. between safety and risk
since time immemorial.Copy !req
1588. You know what, you can look at
any invention or ideaCopy !req
1589. in our reality and there was
some brave soul behind it,Copy !req
1590. pushing for people to accept it.Copy !req
1591. - Everything? - Anything?Copy !req
1592. Sure, give me an example of
anything in our reality,Copy !req
1593. and I'll give you an argument
people gave against it.Copy !req
1594. Well, what about books?Copy !req
1595. Everybody knows books
are good for you.Copy !req
1596. Well, you might think that,Copy !req
1597. but when the printing press was
invented in the 1500s,Copy !req
1598. a lot of rich people and
people in governmentCopy !req
1599. were afraid that
revolution would comeCopy !req
1600. when the poor learned
how to read.Copy !req
1601. Well they were right about that.Copy !req
1602. But how about when Dylan
went electric?Copy !req
1603. Well, a lot of hippies feltCopy !req
1604. that it was the end
of folk music.Copy !req
1605. Heavy.Copy !req
1606. What about when they invented
pizza with pineapple,Copy !req
1607. olives, Canadian bacon
and anchovies?Copy !req
1608. Oh, well that's evil.Copy !req
1609. And it's a great ipecac.Copy !req
1610. And we've got commercial sign.Copy !req
1611. They want to be safe.Copy !req
1612. Hey, who doesn't?Copy !req
1613. Safe?Copy !req
1614. Safe to live and die in
a single place?Copy !req
1615. New Jersey.Copy !req
1616. You?Copy !req
1617. I fought.Copy !req
1618. The law and the law won!Copy !req
1619. I am no more the symbol maker.Copy !req
1620. But I'll stay to the law.Copy !req
1621. And you must too!Copy !req
1622. It's the only way the
clan can be kept.Copy !req
1623. Clam?Copy !req
1624. Soon the night glow will setCopy !req
1625. in the right place in the sky.Copy !req
1626. And you will come to manhood.Copy !req
1627. Look at me when I'm
talking to you!Copy !req
1628. Come on, hey!Copy !req
1629. You are giving me your voice.Copy !req
1630. And a headache.Copy !req
1631. This once, a greater evil than
yours was done this day.Copy !req
1632. I know, did you get a
smell of Ogg's robe?Copy !req
1633. Whew!Copy !req
1634. Hey look, it's Paul Simon's
new backup band.Copy !req
1635. Sun has passed through the sky
to mark the time of years.Copy !req
1636. Oh, I hate these folk masses.Copy !req
1637. Ooh, I think they're
kinda cheery.Copy !req
1638. Hey, would you knock it
off up there?Copy !req
1639. One of the clan has
come to manhood!Copy !req
1640. Turn your head and cough!Copy !req
1641. Will you hold to the word?Copy !req
1642. Hm?Copy !req
1643. Geez, bar mitzvahs were
different then, weren't they?Copy !req
1644. Will you hold to the word?Copy !req
1645. Aye.Copy !req
1646. Don't think so.Copy !req
1647. Will you hold to the law?Copy !req
1648. Aye.Copy !req
1649. Don't think so.Copy !req
1650. One of the clan has
come to manhood!Copy !req
1651. At the tender age of 37!Copy !req
1652. Forgot about me, didn't you?Copy !req
1653. I promised your Aunt Syl
I'd come.Copy !req
1654. See the symbols left
by the gods.Copy !req
1655. It's God's way of saying,Copy !req
1656. "Get on with the movie!"Copy !req
1657. This was a message from God.Copy !req
1658. It came in fire, and made a
great wound upon the earth.Copy !req
1659. We like to call it Missy.Copy !req
1660. To touch the things of the gods
can give you death.Copy !req
1661. Touch this, I'd have
to kill you.Copy !req
1662. It's the word of the law.Copy !req
1663. You've seen the god symbols.Copy !req
1664. Go and take your place as a man
of years in the clan.Copy !req
1665. Oh man, this is totally bogus.Copy !req
1666. I'm hoofin' it over to
Dave's house.Copy !req
1667. You gave the proper
answers to the ritual.Copy !req
1668. But I felt you weren't
speaking true.Copy !req
1669. Look, you've been on my
back all day!Copy !req
1670. You won't give up your dreams,
will you?Copy !req
1671. You took the place of my father.Copy !req
1672. Cool.Copy !req
1673. You want me away too?Copy !req
1674. I hope you hold to the law.Copy !req
1675. Oh, nice shot.Copy !req
1676. Good framing.Copy !req
1677. A brave man's dreams are
hard things to fight.Copy !req
1678. Whenever we go into the cave of
symbols to make ritual.Copy !req
1679. I have to go.Copy !req
1680. Stay before my eyes.Copy !req
1681. Why?Copy !req
1682. Do you find me pleasing?Copy !req
1683. Because you are a man who
would be happyCopy !req
1684. to be the leader of
a small clan.Copy !req
1685. So?Copy !req
1686. I want to lead no one.Copy !req
1687. I want to go on to
broader places.Copy !req
1688. To Broadway!Copy !req
1689. Two such men will come to
fight one day.Copy !req
1690. One tin soldier rides away.Copy !req
1691. And one of us will be dead by
the other's hand.Copy !req
1692. That guy's funny.Copy !req
1693. Situational humor.Copy !req
1694. Brought you some dinner.Copy !req
1695. Hope you like sticks.Copy !req
1696. I was gonna weave you a basket,
but I don't know how.Copy !req
1697. It came to me that we might make
a place of our own.Copy !req
1698. Higher on the cave rock, you
could dig out a space.Copy !req
1699. I thought we'd live
near the city.Copy !req
1700. All done?Copy !req
1701. It would be a good thing.Copy !req
1702. Aye.Copy !req
1703. Don't think so.Copy !req
1704. We could make a place
to lie down on.Copy !req
1705. Oh, wow.Copy !req
1706. So the cold couldn't reach
us as we slept.Copy !req
1707. We'll be a modern
Stone Age family.Copy !req
1708. Aye.Copy !req
1709. When will you start?Copy !req
1710. Next semester.Copy !req
1711. No.Copy !req
1712. Beyond the river, there
are warm skinsCopy !req
1713. of so many animals.Copy !req
1714. And we can stuff the skin with
cheese and bacon bits.Copy !req
1715. And there are growing
things thereCopy !req
1716. that are softer to lie on.Copy !req
1717. And the place smells of wind
and fresh things.Copy !req
1718. Like donuts?Copy !req
1719. You must stay here.Copy !req
1720. So make a sleeping place for
us on the high path.Copy !req
1721. I think you're wonderful,
you know that?Copy !req
1722. Fore!Copy !req
1723. What does he do?Copy !req
1724. He's a consultant!Copy !req
1725. He makes a sleeping place for
him and his woman!Copy !req
1726. Why?Copy !req
1727. Have you seen the woman?Copy !req
1728. Ooh!Copy !req
1729. There is no word of
law against it.Copy !req
1730. Fool.Copy !req
1731. Fool on the hill.Copy !req
1732. Hey, he's doing a
centerfold for GQ.Copy !req
1733. Grog Quarterly.Copy !req
1734. So, how many
toasters did we get?Copy !req
1735. Aye.Copy !req
1736. Whoa.Copy !req
1737. You kept me at this sleeping
place a long, long time.Copy !req
1738. Aye.Copy !req
1739. Aye.Copy !req
1740. But I wonder still.Copy !req
1741. Someone must break the law.Copy !req
1742. Oh, shut up!Copy !req
1743. Must find the truth.Copy !req
1744. For all and forever.Copy !req
1745. Always and forever?Copy !req
1746. Of all things, the clan
fears the godCopy !req
1747. that brings death with its
touch the most.Copy !req
1748. Hm.Copy !req
1749. I'll find it, and kill it.Copy !req
1750. For 10.Copy !req
1751. Get me some food.Copy !req
1752. Now.Copy !req
1753. And a beer, now.Copy !req
1754. Do as I say.Copy !req
1755. Not as I do.Copy !req
1756. I hear you in all things,
but not in this.Copy !req
1757. Why should you be the one
to break the law?Copy !req
1758. Every man holds to the old
laws the safe way.Copy !req
1759. This script's like a
telephone directory!Copy !req
1760. Only not as interesting.Copy !req
1761. No one wants to take the risks
that a better life demands.Copy !req
1762. And the law is the word and
the word is the law,Copy !req
1763. we know!Copy !req
1764. So the ages pass and the
clan remains huddledCopy !req
1765. in the same place.Copy !req
1766. In spite of rent control!Copy !req
1767. There's no more to say.Copy !req
1768. It is time to act.Copy !req
1769. This is why the
dinosaurs died out.Copy !req
1770. You bored them to death!Copy !req
1771. I'll go towel off.Copy !req
1772. Oh neat, he invented the quiver.Copy !req
1773. Ooh, so did she!Copy !req
1774. Ooh!Copy !req
1775. Sorry.Copy !req
1776. Hold me, you big galoot!Copy !req
1777. Wanna be alone?Copy !req
1778. Not here, no.Copy !req
1779. Remember to assert yourself at
work, you're the best!Copy !req
1780. I love you!Copy !req
1781. Come on, you can say it!Copy !req
1782. Come on.Copy !req
1783. Oh, I love you too.Copy !req
1784. Wait come back, you're
wearing my dress.Copy !req
1785. You ever have a dream like that?Copy !req
1786. You go to work without your
pants on, kinda like him.Copy !req
1787. Oh yeah, he does it every day.Copy !req
1788. How'd it go last night, huh?Copy !req
1789. Where did he go?Copy !req
1790. Beyond the river?Copy !req
1791. Uh, you can call me
Dad if you want,Copy !req
1792. Earl or Dad, whatever feels
comfortable.Copy !req
1793. Thong, the fish are ready.Copy !req
1794. Anybody see my extra spear?Copy !req
1795. - Jailbreak, tonight, six. -
Our son is gone.Copy !req
1796. No.Copy !req
1797. I must bring him back.Copy !req
1798. It means death surely to
break the law twice.Copy !req
1799. And you'll be given death.Copy !req
1800. Sh, don't talk so loud.Copy !req
1801. Everyone will want death now.Copy !req
1802. Put aside some food.Copy !req
1803. I'll leave after a time.Copy !req
1804. Suddenly it's a John Ford film.Copy !req
1805. It's like She Wore a
Yellow Loincloth.Copy !req
1806. What is this,
Grand Central Station?Copy !req
1807. Neat, curios.Copy !req
1808. Punch out for me, did you
get the cash card?Copy !req
1809. This is a job for Mighty Jack.Copy !req
1810. It is Baloo.Copy !req
1811. Go to the girl.Copy !req
1812. Go to the what?Copy !req
1813. Go to the dogs?Copy !req
1814. Go to the moon?Copy !req
1815. What a dope.Copy !req
1816. This guy needs a hobby.Copy !req
1817. Don't sit here so.Copy !req
1818. The clan will wonder.Copy !req
1819. Stop!Copy !req
1820. In the name of Grog.Copy !req
1821. Girl.Copy !req
1822. You know it's true.Copy !req
1823. Why do you stay in
the one place,Copy !req
1824. looking to the river.Copy !req
1825. Is there a word against it?Copy !req
1826. I only ask.Copy !req
1827. Just trying to make some
conversation is all.Copy !req
1828. I can't stop this feeling.Copy !req
1829. What?Copy !req
1830. Is he in Florida now?
Busch Gardens?Copy !req
1831. Busch Gardens.Copy !req
1832. Elias?Copy !req
1833. Mr. Waverly?Copy !req
1834. Kinda looks like a Holiday Inn
lobby, doesn't it?Copy !req
1835. I can't believe this guy's
supposed to be a teenager!Copy !req
1836. Well he was a teenager when
this film started!Copy !req
1837. Huh, wha?Copy !req
1838. Go on.Copy !req
1839. Go on!Copy !req
1840. Go on.Copy !req
1841. Across the river,
into the forest!Copy !req
1842. How can the word be served if we
too break the law?Copy !req
1843. Ed Nelson?Copy !req
1844. Yeah.Copy !req
1845. We seek to aid it,
and to keep it.Copy !req
1846. There can be no wrong in that.Copy !req
1847. Who'll care for the women
and the young?Copy !req
1848. I'll do it, I will.Copy !req
1849. The evil will come to all of us!Copy !req
1850. Unless we find the young symbol
maker and his fatherCopy !req
1851. - and kill them! - Hey, say it,
don't spray it!Copy !req
1852. Do you serve towels
with your showers?Copy !req
1853. Come on!Copy !req
1854. He who moves for the word...Copy !req
1855. Shut up!Copy !req
1856. will come to no harm
in that place.Copy !req
1857. Hey, the water's getting
warmer back here!Copy !req
1858. Wish this shirt had
another sleeve.Copy !req
1859. Hm, more holes in the plot.Copy !req
1860. Let's follow them.Copy !req
1861. Oh come on, he's been nice.Copy !req
1862. I don't think he deserves this
kind of soundtrack.Copy !req
1863. This music is all wrong.Copy !req
1864. Hey quit pushing!Copy !req
1865. Watch that spear!Copy !req
1866. Keep your hands off my trunk!Copy !req
1867. But for Richard Kimball,
hunted man,Copy !req
1868. there is no rest.Copy !req
1869. If I were a Flintstone,
yabba dabba dabba.Copy !req
1870. It's about time, it's
about space,Copy !req
1871. it's about time I
slapped your face.Copy !req
1872. Yuck, watch out for that.Copy !req
1873. There should be a toga party
around here somewhere.Copy !req
1874. His little toothpick legs won't
hold him up much longer!Copy !req
1875. If a tree fell in the forest,Copy !req
1876. would Roger Corman go
over budget?Copy !req
1877. I wonder if he's got a seven
day waiting periodCopy !req
1878. on that bow and arrow.Copy !req
1879. Eh, I don't know.Copy !req
1880. Huh?Copy !req
1881. What?Copy !req
1882. Hey, it's Louie Nye!Copy !req
1883. Hi ho, Steverino!Copy !req
1884. Great.Copy !req
1885. It's an anteater pinata.Copy !req
1886. Yeah.Copy !req
1887. Come on, you want a piece of me?Copy !req
1888. Hold it, hold it, we need the
shot for the poster.Copy !req
1889. Move back slowly.Copy !req
1890. You came to take me back.Copy !req
1891. Aye.Copy !req
1892. At first.Copy !req
1893. Now I stay to help in
your purpose.Copy !req
1894. Neat.Copy !req
1895. Hold back.Copy !req
1896. No.Copy !req
1897. This is the god they fear.Copy !req
1898. Mr. Snuffleupagus?Copy !req
1899. The law will be gone and a
new way open to us.Copy !req
1900. Back up, wait, what's
gonna happen here?Copy !req
1901. It motions as the man from
the burning place.Copy !req
1902. Anarchy in the BC.Copy !req
1903. It rises to attack,
cast your arrow!Copy !req
1904. Kill them now.Copy !req
1905. Look!Copy !req
1906. It is wild.Copy !req
1907. Oh, forget it.Copy !req
1908. Kill him in the sight of the
god that gives deathCopy !req
1909. with its touch and it will
know our desire.Copy !req
1910. So, you're saying it's evil?Copy !req
1911. Wait wait, I have another
speech to makeCopy !req
1912. about word and law and
evil and stuff.Copy !req
1913. Hey, he likes you!Copy !req
1914. He doesn't do that to everybody.Copy !req
1915. Just push him down.Copy !req
1916. Down, boy.Copy !req
1917. See what happens when you don't
give them Science Diet?Copy !req
1918. Yep.Copy !req
1919. Skipper, I love you!Copy !req
1920. Oh that one, he hates the vet.Copy !req
1921. What do you do?Copy !req
1922. I make a nice living.Copy !req
1923. Okay, we're gonna do
some improv now.Copy !req
1924. This structure's called tree.Copy !req
1925. This is no evil thing.Copy !req
1926. It's my wife.Copy !req
1927. You stupid jerk, you
killed my monster.Copy !req
1928. Aw, right in the towel.Copy !req
1929. That hurts.Copy !req
1930. Napoleon's solo has foiled
Thrush, once again.Copy !req
1931. It's an onion.Copy !req
1932. This was no evil thing.Copy !req
1933. Just John Q. Public trying
to earn a buck.Copy !req
1934. Sad really.Copy !req
1935. The word tells it could not
be given death.Copy !req
1936. It lies so still.Copy !req
1937. The beasts are dead.Copy !req
1938. Now you too must die.Copy !req
1939. Oh, don't you start.Copy !req
1940. The law is dead.Copy !req
1941. The god that gives death
with its touchCopy !req
1942. is dead as well.Copy !req
1943. He's dead, word's dead, law's
dead, I'm outta here!Copy !req
1944. Goodnight everybody!Copy !req
1945. He's looked better.Copy !req
1946. Beach Dickerson.Copy !req
1947. A man.Copy !req
1948. Another kind of man.Copy !req
1949. One came from the mountains
and some were here.Copy !req
1950. He's been in the
mountains too long,Copy !req
1951. dressed up in a goofy costume.Copy !req
1952. Wait, what's this?Copy !req
1953. It's a vintage contemporary!Copy !req
1954. It bears a symbol.Copy !req
1955. Bright lights, big cave.Copy !req
1956. This must be the way man
should greet man.Copy !req
1957. Formal and rigid.Copy !req
1958. - His hands without a weapon.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
1959. Hm.Copy !req
1960. What symbols are these?Copy !req
1961. That's right, by Uncle
headquarters!Copy !req
1962. I have none like
these in my mind.Copy !req
1963. And these were made in a
way unknown to me.Copy !req
1964. Yeah, at the Photomat.Copy !req
1965. All of this.Copy !req
1966. Are these symbols too?Copy !req
1967. Perhaps.Copy !req
1968. Maybe.Copy !req
1969. Someday they must be known.Copy !req
1970. It is a thing of wonder.Copy !req
1971. Yeah, I wonder when the
film's gonna end.Copy !req
1972. Shall we take him to the cave
and make a cairn for him?Copy !req
1973. Nah, let's eat 'em here.Copy !req
1974. Leave them in this
place that was his.Copy !req
1975. The people have seen, a
new law is made.Copy !req
1976. Food will be gathered,
wheel things made,Copy !req
1977. and the clan will seek out other
men in other places.Copy !req
1978. Other voices, other rooms.Copy !req
1979. We'll take this thing of wonder.Copy !req
1980. Somewhere a man may be able to
tell us the words.Copy !req
1981. Hey, Bob!Copy !req
1982. Bob, wake up, Bob.Copy !req
1983. There.Copy !req
1984. Or one of us may find
a way to know.Copy !req
1985. I bet his initials are
Robert Vaughn.Copy !req
1986. Aye.Copy !req
1987. So let this man stay.Copy !req
1988. He will not be alone.Copy !req
1989. Well, this guy's getting ripe,
let's get out of here.Copy !req
1990. So, bye.Copy !req
1991. Hey I just thought of something.Copy !req
1992. Who's gonna play the
Indian on F Troop?Copy !req
1993. I and a party
of 23 others...Copy !req
1994. What?Copy !req
1995. were on a
scientific expeditionCopy !req
1996. when the bombs began to fall.Copy !req
1997. - Oh. - Oh, message!Copy !req
1998. Message coming in, people.Copy !req
1999. I think it's from
Beach Dickerson.Copy !req
2000. was unleashed all
over the world.Copy !req
2001. Retaliation added to
retaliation.Copy !req
2002. Oh, I see a president's face.Copy !req
2003. Until all traces of man's
works had been wipedCopy !req
2004. from the face of the Earth.Copy !req
2005. Sorry everyone, sorry.Copy !req
2006. I'm hot, I'm on fire.Copy !req
2007. Some grew huge
beyond all reasonCopy !req
2008. and formed as the
dinosaurs of prehistory,Copy !req
2009. or took on new
shapes altogether,Copy !req
2010. mad in shape and purpose.Copy !req
2011. They became stock footage.Copy !req
2012. My comrades and I,
half-protectedCopy !req
2013. by our radiation suits, found
ourselves given an ageCopy !req
2014. far beyond the span allowed.Copy !req
2015. Hm.Copy !req
2016. Out of all the
sprawling millionsCopy !req
2017. of the Earth a handful
escaped all harmCopy !req
2018. through fortune or design.Copy !req
2019. Oh, kinda like Neil Bush.Copy !req
2020. After the holocaust, the
wisest of themCopy !req
2021. set down a long list of taboos.Copy !req
2022. Am I the wisest?Copy !req
2023. Yeah, I'm the wisest.Copy !req
2024. Pretty much.Copy !req
2025. The laws are in the form of
a religion now.Copy !req
2026. It's strange to see them living
the life of Cro-Magnon man.Copy !req
2027. Cro-Magnon, P.I.Copy !req
2028. On occasion we tried to
contact them,Copy !req
2029. but they feared us.Copy !req
2030. Wonder why.Copy !req
2031. And our radiation killed thoseCopy !req
2032. who came too close.Copy !req
2033. Now, only I'm left,Copy !req
2034. and the radiation has worn away
these long, long years.Copy !req
2035. So you know it's okay.Copy !req
2036. Now a new one
thinks and wondersCopy !req
2037. about the truth of the law.Copy !req
2038. He's a real goosester!Copy !req
2039. Perhaps man will dare
to try again.Copy !req
2040. I am very lonely.Copy !req
2041. In fact, I'm dead.Copy !req
2042. Very, very tired.Copy !req
2043. Dead tired.Copy !req
2044. This happened a long time ago.Copy !req
2045. And as you know, men did
meet other men.Copy !req
2046. And fire smelted metal,
made explosives.Copy !req
2047. The wheel turned machines and
made gun barrels.Copy !req
2048. The towers were built
and flattened.Copy !req
2049. How many times?Copy !req
2050. Will it happen again?Copy !req
2051. And if it does, will any at all
survive the next time?Copy !req
2052. Doubtful, let's go.Copy !req
2053. Or will it be the end?Copy !req
2054. Heavy.Copy !req
2055. Robert Vaughn will be backCopy !req
2056. in the Sweet Sweetback Affair!Copy !req
2057. Aye, I am the last survivorCopy !req
2058. of a movie-watching experiment!Copy !req
2059. Me too!Copy !req
2060. Oh yeah, him too!Copy !req
2061. Sh, character.Copy !req
2062. Whether through
fortune or design,Copy !req
2063. we are the only survivors.Copy !req
2064. The awesome power of Roger
Corman was unleashedCopy !req
2065. upon the satellite and
scared everybody!Copy !req
2066. it was brought upon us
by scientistsCopy !req
2067. mad in shape and purpose.Copy !req
2068. Aye, aye.Copy !req
2069. And the fact that I am dead
does not prevent meCopy !req
2070. from tying up a few loose ends.Copy !req
2071. Me too, you keep
forgetting about me!Copy !req
2072. Oh yeah, him too.Copy !req
2073. Sh, character.Copy !req
2074. Aye!Copy !req
2075. I have, protected by our
Trumpy radiation suits,Copy !req
2076. wait for contact.Copy !req
2077. Hey, hi guys, what's up?Copy !req
2078. Human!Copy !req
2079. Oh, you guys, come on.Copy !req
2080. Aye, he was the young one
who began to wonder.Copy !req
2081. I'm starting to wonder
about these two.Copy !req
2082. He was unfettered by a long
list of taboos,Copy !req
2083. except that he refused to
wear silly hats.Copy !req
2084. Listen, are you guys
supposed to be dead?Copy !req
2085. You know, I can see
your lips move.Copy !req
2086. Aye, we refuse to ad lib and
give in to his demandsCopy !req
2087. and smell his feet, which were
like bad meat or good cheese!Copy !req
2088. Oh come on you guys, quit
your clowning.Copy !req
2089. I'm supposed to read the letter,
okay?Copy !req
2090. One took great pleasure in
reading letters.Copy !req
2091. Aye.Copy !req
2092. Where is it?Copy !req
2093. It's supposed to be here.Copy !req
2094. Letter, letter! It's the the
radiation suits!Copy !req
2095. Letter, letter!Copy !req
2096. Oh, geez, come on!Copy !req
2097. Tickle the old ones.Copy !req
2098. Sorry about the slime,
young one.Copy !req
2099. It's covered in slime and this
matted monkey hair,Copy !req
2100. fake monkey hair that you made
these suits out of.Copy !req
2101. It comes with the territory,
young one.Copy !req
2102. Okay, well, let's put this
on still, Cambot.Copy !req
2103. You got that?Copy !req
2104. Well this is a pretty neat one,Copy !req
2105. before it got slimed.Copy !req
2106. It's from Bruce Barber,
and it says,Copy !req
2107. "Verify ye hence and
testify furthermore,Copy !req
2108. "that your show has a large
and loyal followingCopy !req
2109. "among the professional
stuntmen here in L.A.Copy !req
2110. "Nothing brings home
to us exactlyCopy !req
2111. "how far the stunt
business has come,Copy !req
2112. "as watching the actionCopy !req
2113. "on some of the turkeys you
have graced us with.Copy !req
2114. "I try never to miss a show.Copy !req
2115. "The wife, who thinks
I'm sick..."Copy !req
2116. The wife?Copy !req
2117. - The wife? -
"... tapes them for meCopy !req
2118. "when I'm on location.Copy !req
2119. "Please keep up the good,
bad work."Copy !req
2120. Bruce Barber.Copy !req
2121. Pretty neat, huh?Copy !req
2122. Aye.Copy !req
2123. You guys are gonna have to clean
all this up, you know.Copy !req
2124. Again with the taboo.Copy !req
2125. Nay, nay!Copy !req
2126. Just be quiet, we gotta
get outta here.Copy !req
2127. What do you think, sirs?Copy !req
2128. Mm, that is good.Copy !req
2129. I'm glad I brought the
orange cappuccino.Copy !req
2130. Wait a minute, I brought the
orange cappuccino.Copy !req
2131. Oh, hello bubbie, Frank and I
are just patching things upCopy !req
2132. with a little cup of kindness.Copy !req
2133. You know, it's the quiet momentsCopy !req
2134. that are the most
precious moments.Copy !req
2135. Mm.Copy !req
2136. Why don't you push the button,
Frank?Copy !req
2137. I'm going to slip this tape of
Dad in with Jack Lemmon.Copy !req
2138. I think we could both use a
good cry, don't you?Copy !req
2139. I'll make some popcorn.Copy !req