My Life as a Teenage Robot 1x8

Directed by Rob Renzetti

Brad is disappointed by his lack of a driver's license, and Jenny's attempts to help him. Soon, he takes up joyriding in abandoned UFOs as a new hobby.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hey, everyone, I did it. I finally did it.

2. I got my ears pierced.

3. Charming, if a bit pedestrian.

4. Mine are pierced too. See? Real garnets.

5. You do like shiny things, don't you, jantrice?

6. I just got new hoops. What do you think, Tiff?

7. They a-ight.

8. Tiff, you're looking even more Betty than usual.

9. What's your secret?

10. Just got my ears pierced...

11. for the third time.

12. Wow, just like ours,

13. only better.

14. Hi, gals.

15. Jewelry: What a super teenage subject.

16. Me? I just got some new copper lugs for my belly bolt.

17. Spiffy, huh?

18. Yes, very spiffy, Frankenstein.

19. But I believe we were talking about earrings.

20. Oh, gee.

21. If I had ears, I bet i'd really like wearing earrings.

22. But you don't.

23. So go away.

24. Okay, we'll chat later, gal pals.

25. Knowledge beckons.

26. Hi, mom.

27. Hello, XJ-9.

28. So, mom, picture me... with ears!

29. What do you think? When can you build them?

30. XJ-9, you need ears like Oppenheimer needs gunpowder.

31. You were designed with an auditory system decades ahead of its time.

32. Oh, you were so precious when you were a prototype.

33. But, mom, without ears, I can't wear earrings.

34. And without earrings, I'm just a-a-a freak.

35. Earrings?

36. I designed a state-of-the-art, aerodynamic, streamlined, crime-fighting robot.

37. Not some simple mannequin to hang with googols and gimcrackery.

38. Earrings, ooh, the very notion.

39. Fine! I'll build them myself.

40. Uh, closet.

41. There you go, Gomoga. Good as new.

42. Oo, Jenny?

43. I'll build ears myself.

44. But I don't know how.

45. Don't need mom's help.

46. Hey, Jenny.

47. Oh, hi, Sheldon. I didn't see you.

48. I guess I'm too preoccupied trying to figure out how to build...

49. Sheldon, you build all sorts of gadgets and stuff, right?

50. Smart guy like you.

51. So good with his hands.

52. Building a set of robot ears would be a cinch for you.

53. Robot ears? Sure.

54. Got everything I need right here in my garage...

55. er, workshop.

56. Oh, Sheldon, let's go.

57. So as you can see, it's a relatively simple procedure.

58. We choose the look that's right for your particular features.

59. Uh, for instance, "the debutante,"

60. "the forest sprite,"

61. "the modern primitive,"

62. "the Van gogh"...

63. this one's half-price.

64. Because it's, you know... there's just one.

65. I'm going to let you choose, Sheldon. When can we start?

66. Right...

67. Now.

68. Hi, girls. Just got my ears pierced.

69. Well, I'm off to class. See ya.

70. Hey!

71. I'll get it.

72. Here you go.

73. Uh, Jenny, what in the...

74. impressive, aren't they?

75. Hugely impressive.

76. Turn around, Ms. XJ-9. Class has started.

77. Gee, are you okay, Mr. Smelhaus?

78. Mm-hmm. Just a cold.

79. Gesundheit.

80. Hear ye, hear ye.

81. From this day forward,

82. all thine earthly treasures shall be given as tribute unto me,

83. the great and powerful lancer.

84. Yeah? And what if we don't wanna?

85. Then ye shall feel the wrath of my mighty Lance!

86. Hi, Brad.

87. Uh, Jenny, I...

88. Hi, Stephanie.

89. Looking fine, Jenny.

90. Hi, Jantrice.

91. Phat ear wear, Jenny.

92. Hi, Pa-teresa.

93. It's pronounced "Tuh-resa".

94. As in pterodactyl, the "p" in pteresa is silent.

95. Although if anyone could hear it, I suppose it would be you.

96. Come again?

97. Oh, nothing, really.

98. Why, you can tell me. I'm all ears.

99. Are you guys okay?

100. Hi, mom.

101. XJ-9, I need you to... ooh!

102. XJ-9, you're needed... Downtown... I-Immediately.

103. You feeling okay, Mom?

104. Just some sniffle.

105. Now get downtown... On the double.

106. There's crime afoot. Go, go, go.

107. Poor mom. Must be a bug going around.

108. Well, before I go,

109. I think there's someone I need to give a little credit for the new me.

110. It was really nothing, Jenny.

111. I mean, any brilliant, misunderstood guy

112. with unbelievable technical know-how would've done the same.

113. I hear ya, Sheldon.

114. You've got a gift for finding the art in technology.

115. Well, I better fly.

116. Nice prank, Sheldon.

117. Prank?

118. Sure, attaching those oars to the robot girl's hull.

119. Even I couldn't have guessed she could lookmore absurd.

120. What? You're just jealous.

121. You can't stand that she's a hero and beautiful.

122. I thought she looked great even before the ears.

123. But she wanted a little extra, I guess.

124. After all, who could deny the majestic elephant its enticing tusks?

125. Or the gambling ibex its graceful horns?

126. Please, Mr. Lancer, sir,

127. this is the gold watch I got for my retirement.

128. It's all I have left.

129. This cereal box prize? How sad.

130. Just wait, you bully.

131. When that robot girl shows up, you'll be sorry.

132. Silence!

133. Being the lancer means never having to say you're sorry.

134. Okay, lancer. It's time to turn yourself over.

135. I've seen a peanut stand. I've heard a rubber band.

136. I've even seen a needle wink its eye.

137. But I've seen just about everything when I see an elephant-eared robot girl.

138. What do you mean? But everyone at school...

139. Nice earrings, Jenny.

140. Looking good, Jenny.

141. Uh...

142. So you want to play rough, eh?

143. Foolish whelp, did you really think

144. a large-eared bucket of bolts could stop the lancer?

145. Uh, hi, Sheldon.

146. Sorry about the ears.

147. They were great while they lasted.

148. And they make wicked crime-fighting weapons.

149. Jenny?

150. I hope you didn't take any of that stuff Brit and Tiff said seriously.

151. Y-You looked beautiful in those ears.

152. I know, Sheldon.

153. Too bad they were destroyed in battle.

154. I guess I'll have to go back to looking like my freaky old self.

155. Okay, so we're all agreed.

156. We broach the ear subject slowly.

157. We don't want to upset her.

158. Uh-huh.

159. So, Jenny, I hear you got some new ears the size of Mount Rushmore.

160. No, Tuck. I returned the ears to Sheldon.

161. Uh, you okay, Jenny?

162. Yeah, I'm fine.

163. Sheldon took it kind of hard, though.

164. He insisted he make it up to me.

165. He says nose rings are all the rage.

166. It's Johnny zoom gaining fast, heading into the home stretch.

167. Johnny zoom moves into first place.

168. But wait!

169. There's a wet blanket on the track.

170. Johnny zoom avoids disaster.

171. The final lap. It's down to the wire. It's...

172. Oh, hi, Jenny.

173. Hi, Tuck. I like your toy bike.

174. Toy? I've won the playground 500 two years in a row with this baby.

175. Playground 500.

176. Yeah? And what have you been driving lately, hotshot?

177. What's wrong with Brad?

178. He's just sore 'cause dad won't let him drive the new turbo wagon.

179. Why not?

180. 'Cause he doesn't have his license.

181. What about my learner's permit?

182. How am I supposed to learn if I'm never permitted to drive?

183. But trying explaining that to my dad.

184. I know. My mom, I wanted to fly down to the mall, but she...

185. Sure.

186. The girl with the rocket-powered toes knows what I'm going through.

187. C'mon, Jenny. You can zoom to the moon and back if you feel like it.

188. I spend my whole life going two miles an hour on my stupid skateboard.

189. You want to try my toy bike?

190. I think I may have something a little speedier.

191. Pack up your toy bikes and skateboards, boys.

192. We have... Jet packs.

193. No way.

194. Jet packs!

195. I can't believe it.

196. You're the coolest robot girl I've ever known,

197. not that I've ever known another robot girl,

198. but still, you're the coolest!

199. Uh, thanks.

200. So you guys want to try 'em out?

201. XJ-9.

202. Mom.

203. I was, uh, just heading home and--

204. Stall your excuses, XJ-9.

205. I need you to check out a spaceship sighting in sector 38 G.

206. No, say "good-bye" to your little friends and...

207. XJ-9!

208. Are those my jet packs?

209. Okay, Mom, I'll check out that U.F.O. then, bye!

210. What a drag.

211. I got to go find some stupid old spaceship.

212. See you guys later.

213. It's got to be around here somewhere.

214. How about by that gas station?

215. No, that's a tra...

216. Huh?

217. Brad, what are you doing?

218. Duh.

219. Trying out my new jet pack.

220. I meant what are you doing here?

221. Helping you find the U.F.O.

222. You can't do that. This is a very delicate intergalactic situation.

223. Turn around and go home right now.

224. Your lips say, "go home," but your eyes say...

225. Leave.

226. Look, Brad. This could be dangerous. I can't watch out for you.

227. You don't have to. I can take care of myself.

228. Okay.

229. I'm sorry if I...

230. Help!

231. Huh, the nerve of that kid bustin' in on your galactic situation.

232. Boys.

233. Hey, there, Johnny Zoom.

234. Whoa.

235. We did it, Tuck! We found it, we found the U.F.O.!

236. Hold it. That's far enough.

237. Now, don't move while I check the surrounding area.

238. And keep an eye on those jet packs.

239. Oopsy.

240. Gotta keep an eye on that jet pack.

241. What are you doing?

242. Locked.

243. Key... key. What we need is a key.

244. Aha.

245. Tuck, this is the adventure of a lifetime.

246. Don't let it pass you by.

247. What if it's full of salivating space parasites?

248. That's cool. You wait out here with all the lions and tigers and bears.

249. Pfft! Lions and tigers and bears.

250. Oh, my.

251. Brad?

252. Where are you?

253. Oh.

254. Brad?

255. Brad, what're you doing?

256. You're going to blow us up or vaporize us or get us grounded.

257. Or get us ungrounded.

258. Get us down! Get us down! Get us down!

259. I'm trying! I'm trying! I'm trying!

260. Did that stop it?

261. No.

262. That did.

263. I thought I told you to stay put.

264. Well, we tried, but then you--

265. Put the ship down.

266. That's what I--

267. Down!

268. But...

269. Down.

270. O-Kay.

271. Okay, that was painful.

272. So if that one is up,

273. then this one must be forward!

274. Brad, slow down.

275. Slow down, Brad!

276. I said...

277. "Slow it... down!"

278. In case you didn't catch that...

279. Yeah, yeah. I heard, I heard.

280. Wow. This thing stops on a dime.

281. Too bad our baby-sitter can't.

282. What do you say we go find her?

283. Oh, no.

284. Brad, bear in the air, six o'clock.

285. Skyway patrol? Nothing a little sweet talk can't handle.

286. I'll just open the hailing frequency.

287. Whoops.

288. Uh...

289. Calling all units. Calling all units.

290. In high-speed pursuit of unidentified flying object.

291. Be advised; Bogey is hostile. Repeat: Bogey is hostile.

292. Uh, Brad? They're sweet-talking us right back.

293. Ah! There you are.

294. Uh-oh.

295. Bogey has deployed some sort of perimeter droid.

296. Fire at will.

297. Open up!

298. Tuck, it's me. Open up.

299. Phew.

300. XJ-9!

301. Where have you been?

302. The U.F.O. You were supposed to take care of

303. has gotten into a dogfight with skyway patrol and...

304. XJ-9...

305. Are you onboard the u.F.O.?

306. You are!

307. Oh, of all the irresponsible, immature...

308. Mom, I really got to go.

309. Brad.

310. Brad?

311. Brad!

312. What? W-What's going on?

313. You're done driving.

314. That's what's going on.

315. Hey, who put you in charge of me?

316. - You break into... - You've been bossing me...

317. I tell ya, Karl.

318. I can't remember when I've had a better time, don't ya know?

319. The weather's been divine. And that day spa... ooh, straight to cloud nine.

320. Yeah, well, personally, I can't wait to get off this hick planet.

321. Bunch of rip-off artists, these earthlings. Five bucks for a cup of coffee.

322. No extraterrestrial discount at the hotel.

323. And I know that bellboy stole my tricorder.

324. I think earth is simply adorable.

325. The natives are so clever. They seem almost venusian.

326. Yeah, well, they have good schnitzel. I'll give them that much.

327. Karl?

328. Isn't this where we parked?

329. Humans.

330. They're crooks, every last one of 'em.

331. Wait here; I'll take care of these hairless apes.

332. Alright, I know you're in here.

333. Come on out, and I'll go easy on ya.

334. So you want to do this the hard way?

335. Guess it's time to break out the attitude adjuster.

336. A fly swatter?

337. Freeze, monkey. I got ya covered.

338. Yeah? What're you gonna do? SWAT us to death?

339. Huh?

340. Oh, yeah, well.

341. There we go.

342. Guess you can't barbeque anyone's brain when it's turned off now, can ya?

343. Yeah, well.

344. Say "good-bye" to your frontal lobes.

345. Karl, put that thing away.

346. Honestly, you and that fly swatter of death.

347. First bit of fun I've had all vacation, and she's got to ruin it.

348. Let's go!

349. I want to be in romulet by 5:00 to catch my stories.

350. Coming, dear.

351. Well, I think we've both learned something here today.

352. You learned to never interfere with a driver at the wheel,

353. and I learned to forgive.

354. Tell you what, let me keep the jet pack and we'll call it even.

355. How about this?

356. Hand over that jet pack, and I won't kick your butt.

357. XJ-9!

358. You've got a lot of explaining to do.

359. Stolen jet packs, hijacked U.F.O.S,

360. police pursuits, interplanetary incidents,

361. When we get home...

362. Don't blame Jenny, Dr. Wakeman.

363. I'm the one who caused all the trouble.

364. If it weren't for Jenny, Tuck and I would be halfway to Jupiter by now.

365. But I've learned my lesson.

366. No more joyriding for me.

367. Yes, well...

368. Come along, XJ-9,

369. and bring that other jet pack with you.

370. Oh, here. Let me--

371. XJ-9!

372. Don't worry, doc.

373. We'll catch 'em. Just leave the driving to me.