My Life as a Teenage Robot 1x23

Directed by Rob Renzetti • Ron Hughart

Sheldon sets Jenny up for a date with Silver Shell, in hopes that he can reveal himself to her. However, she already has a date with Don Prima, much to Sheldon's chagrin. An evil mutant fly that can eat metal attacks people in the restaurant while the date takes place, while Silver Shell tries to sabotage the date by ruining Don's beautiful shoes.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Whoa, boy, the parade of metal.

2. I love metal day.

3. I think this may be my favorite metal-themed celebration.

4. Aren't you forgetting about the tinfoil hootenanny?

5. Oh, yeah.

6. It's eating all the metal, the poor, defenseless metal!

7. I'm hit!

8. I'm hit!

9. Oh, wait. I'm not made of metal.

10. Finally, my first parade.

11. Hmm, seems like a lot of people running and screaming.

12. Hey, buzz kill.

13. You're raining on my parade.

14. hey, watch it!

15. If that metal-melting goo hits Jenny,

16. her goose is cooked.

17. Ugh, this is going to be gross.

18. Dang it, hold still.

19. Come back here.

20. Jenny, be careful!

21. Careful? It's just a fly.

22. It's a giant mutant metal-eating fly!

23. My manicure.

24. Why you...

25. Jenny, over here.

26. this windshield is two-inch-thick plate glass.

27. Everyone knows acid can't eat through glass.

28. Yeah, everyone named my brother.

29. Excelsior!

30. The Silver Shell.

31. Looks like you've got a bug problem, miss.

32. Do I ever, silver shell.

33. Ha, ha, not to worry.

34. I have the formula for victory, atom girl.

35. Atom girl?

36. Uh, I mean, XJ-9.

37. I have the formula for victory, XJ-9.

38. What this villain needs is a little lamp post justice.

39. He's so brave.

40. Especially since he'll be a quick snack for that metal-eating mutant.

41. Oh, yeah, the metal eating.

42. Was that part of the formula for victory?

43. Uh, why, yes, young citizen.

44. Now that my opponent is off guard, I can...

45. I can... I can...

46. I can unleash the fury of twin thunderbolts.

47. Oh, my gosh, are you all right? Silver Shell, speak to me.

48. Not to worry, XJ-9.

49. It was all part of the plan.

50. Sometimes it's necessary to sacrifice oneself

51. to bring liberty and justice to all.

52. Wow, Silver Shell, that was so smooth.

53. I think being smooth is a man's most attractive quality.

54. Ugh.

55. Really?

56. If you think I'm smooth,

57. I know a guy who's twice as smooth as I am,

58. and I hear he has a thing for you.

59. Really? What's he like?

60. Oh, he's great,

61. lots of fun to be around, and he has a great personality.

62. Oh, yeah, great personality, huh?

63. Why, yes, and he's real smart, a genius.

64. Yeah?

65. What else?

66. Uh, he's brave and heroic, and he's got great hair.

67. Is he handsome?

68. Oh, he's easy on the eyes.

69. Wow, is he tall and exotic?

70. Does he drive a cool car?

71. Uh, no.

72. But he's smooth, right?

73. Oh, yes, yes, yes, extremely smooth.

74. Smoothest guy in town.

75. Wow, you have to introduce me.

76. Well, he's a little shy, so I don't...

77. I said, you have to introduce me.

78. Uh, okay.

79. When?

80. Tomorrow.

81. What time?

82. 9:00.

83. Where?

84. Your locker.

85. And he's smooth?

86. Yes, very smooth.

87. Oh.

88. Smooth.

89. Smooth, huh?

90. Jenny wants smooth? I'll give her smooth.

91. I'm going to be late!

92. Oh, my gosh, Sheldon, are you all right?

93. Sheldon, I don't have time for your impersonations right now.

94. I'm waiting for my secret admirer.

95. Hey, watch it, dweeb.

96. Don't get your garbage on my shoes. I have an important meeting.

97. Hey, baby.

98. Don Prima, the smoothest guy in school, has a crush on me?

99. I'm so excited.

100. But I'm also a little shy,

101. but that's okay, because you're shy, too,

102. so we have that in common, so that's okay.

103. I don't know which one of us is more shy, you or me.

104. I mean, I guess it must be me, but I know you're shy, too,

105. so I'll just go ahead,

106. and ask you out myself.

107. Sounds great... uh... Jenny.

108. How about Mezmers, say, eight-ish?

109. Sounds super, Don.

110. Later, babe.

111. Wow, what do you think, Sheldon?

112. I think he's a complete jerk.

113. I know. Isn't he the smoothest?

114. Here you go, robot girl.

115. I'll show senor Prima over the moment he arrives.

116. Silver Shell?

117. Oh, uh...

118. Hello, XJ-9.

119. What are you doing here?

120. I'm just hanging out.

121. You don't really seem like the hanging-out type.

122. Well... confidentially... my good buddy Don Prima was nervous about tonight,

123. so he asked me to show up for, you know, moral support,

124. but it's supposed to be a secret,

125. so don't let him know you know.

126. Got it.

127. Ssh, here he comes.

128. Hey, babe, sorry I'm late, but you can't rush perfection.

129. Oh, Don, you're so smooth.

130. "Oh, Don, you're so smooth."

131. We'll see how smooth he is

132. after the Silver Shell gets done with him.

133. Achoo! Achoo!

134. Oh, Don,

135. I love your wavy hair.

136. His hair?

137. Let's see what she thinks when he's bald as a baby.

138. A toast...

139. To the most beautiful girl at school.

140. Oh, Don, your eyes sparkle when you say those things.

141. Okay, time to pull out the big guns.

142. So I says to the mayor, "mayor," I says...

143. Oh, Don, you're so funny.

144. I love a guy with a good sense of humor.

145. Doh!

146. Right.

147. Here's your order, kids.

148. Caesar salad, oil on the side.

149. And one fried pickle, anchovy, and peanut butter sandwich.

150. That's funny.

151. That's Sheldon's favorite sandwich too.

152. Sheldon? That loser from school?

153. You actually know him?

154. Oh, no, no, no, no.

155. I mean yes... I mean...

156. Uh, he's just the guy with the locker next to mine.

157. You should be careful none of his loser-ness rubs off on you.

158. Um, don't worry Don. It won't.

159. I've got a loser-proof coating.

160. Excuse me. I have to go powder my rivets.

161. And you may be smooth enough

162. to hoodwink Jenny and turn her against her friends,

163. but you don't fool me.

164. I can see right through you.

165. Right through me? Like with X-ray vision?

166. Hey, what color underwear am I wearing?

167. I know what you're up to with Jenny.

168. Hey, watch the shoes, you Silver slob.

169. He doesn't care about Jenny at all.

170. All he cares about are those stupid shoes.

171. Hmm.

172. Those shoes just might be his achilles heel.

173. Gotcha!

174. hey, Donny boy.

175. Let's see how smooth you really are.

176. What's your malfunction, lug nuts?

177. If it's that robot chick you're after, you can have her.

178. She's nothing special.

179. You take that back.

180. Take it back!

181. What's the matter, loser? Did I strike a nerve?

182. Oh, my gosh.

183. What happened?

184. What is going on?

185. Jenny.

186. You again?

187. You've bugged me for the last time.

188. Nice work, XJ-9. We should team up more often.

189. You know, go on patrol, fight crime, and--

190. Don't talk to me about teamwork, buddy.

191. I saw what you were doing to your good friend, Don.

192. If this is how you treat your friends,

193. I don't want to be on any team of yours.

194. Come on, Don. We're leaving.

195. Hey, babe. Don't let that dweeb get you down.

196. The night is young.

197. You've lost the loser,

198. and you've still got the donster.

199. Oh, Don, you're right.

200. You've been wonderful.

201. My shoes!

202. You scuffed my shoes.

203. My favorite Italian loafers!

204. They were perfect, and now they're ruined.

205. Oh, what did I do to deserve this?

206. Uh, you know what, Don?

207. Maybe I will call it a night.

208. Fight crime, team up...

209. like I would ever go on patrol with that... that...

210. I can't believe he lied about being Don's friend.

211. And Don...

212. I can't believe I actually went out with a guy who calls himself the donster.

213. I think from now on I need to stay away

214. from smooth operators like Don or the Silver Shell.

215. Like someone who's, maybe not as smooth but is, genuine and sweet.

216. Oh, hey, Sheldon.

217. Hi, Jenny.

218. Yeah, someone sweet...

219. but where am I ever gonna find someone like that?

220. The annual regional robotics convention.

221. I hear there's going to be a display with square-wave motion units.

222. I can't wait.

223. And I can't wait to finally meet some robots like me.

224. Now, XJ-9, don't get your circuits overheated.

225. It's very unlikely that you'll meet another robot like you.

226. You've been programmed using the advanced cybocell 19 language.

227. Most robots are lucky to be programmed...

228. XJ-9?

229. XJ-9!

230. Mother,

231. please don't call me that in front of the other robots.

232. It's so embarrassing.

233. But I...

234. Can't you call me Jenny, just for today?

235. Yes, but I...

236. Now, just leave me be until we get to the convention.

237. We are at the convention.

238. Thanks, mom. See you later.

239. XJ-9, wait!

240. Hi.

241. My name's Jenny.

242. Pleased to meet you.

243. Hi, little fella. What's your name?

244. Bow-wow.

245. Can you sit up?

246. Bow-wow.

247. Can you roll over?

248. Bow-wow.

249. Can you shake hands?

250. Bow-wow.

251. Can you do anything?

252. Me-ow.

253. Sniff, sniff.

254. Glub, glub.

255. Wow, a toilet tissue ironer.

256. Crisp and sharp, just like a fine dress shirt.

257. Can this-a machine really control my unruly moustache?

258. that's-a fantastic-a!

259. An automatic knuckle polisher.

260. Hey, Thelma-Lou,

261. check out thems.

262. Thems is lovely.

263. This convention is lame.

264. None of these robots even know how to talk.

265. Some refreshments for sir.

266. Crumpets for mi'lady.

267. Would you like a soothing cup of tea?

268. Finally.

269. Hi, my name's Jenny,

270. and I really like... the... way...

271. Gosh, I thought I'd go all day

272. without finding someone...

273. Hey, spare a few words for a fellow robot?

274. Whoa, I just wanted to say hi.

275. Oh, for goodness' sake, just let the poor thing go.

276. XJ-9.

277. I should have known better than to let you wander around on your own.

278. How could you...

279. Nora? Nora wakeman?

280. I thought that was you.

281. Oh, if it isn't my old classmate, Phineas Mog.

282. So tell me... this tall one that knocks down walls,

283. is it one of your inventions?

284. Uh, yes.

285. Well done, Nora.

286. How did you manage to program so many defects into only one automaton?

287. You're going to let him talk about me that way?

288. Say, XJ-9,

289. why don't you take your little teapot friend to the robot break room?

290. Lame robots, nasty humans...

291. this convention has it all.

292. Are you comfy, hon?

293. You've got everything you need?

294. Good.

295. Why, hello, there.

296. I'm Vee.

297. I run a robot rejuvenation clinic.

298. I'm Jenny,

299. and you're the first friendly face that I've seen all day.

300. Come on in.

301. I've got a free massage for you and your little teapot friend.

302. Our massage tables are state of the art.

303. They're specially designed to relax the tired motors

304. and achy servers of the modern robot.

305. There you go, little fella.

306. And Jenny, would you like to...

307. Help, help!

308. Jenny, wait.

309. Now, Vee, be patient.

310. She'll be back.

311. Stay calm.

312. Would you like a soothing cup of tea?

313. Why, my dear little teapot,

314. you'll never have to pour another cup of tea.

315. Welcome to the Cluster.

316. What is it? Who needs my help?

317. 2.57 seconds.

318. Oohh.

319. Well, I must admit that it is a fast response time.

320. Perhaps this robot of yours is not totally useless after all.

321. Huh?

322. Did you send a false alarm, mom?

323. Mom?

324. Did it just call you "mom"?

325. Calm your circuits, XJ-9.

326. And stop embarrassing me.

327. I'm embarrassing you?

328. You're the one who made me rush over here like an idiot.

329. If you think I'm going to let you put me through my paces

330. to impress your friends like I'm some robotic prancing pony,

331. then you've got another thing coming.

332. XJ-9, wait!

333. It looks like the robot holds the remote control in this family.

334. Stuff it, mog.

335. XJ-9? XJ-9?

336. I'm so pleased you decided to come back.

337. I just need a little time to clear my head.

338. XJ-9, where are you?

339. Sounds like my mom wants to apologize.

340. I thought you wanted some time away from your mother.

341. XJ-9!

342. Maybe something's wrong.

343. Probably just another false alarm.

344. Just relax.

345. XJ-9, where are you?

346. I gotta go.

347. I said...

348. Relax!

349. What the...?

350. Relax, my dear. Don't resist.

351. You wanted to clear your head. Allow me to do it for you.

352. All your troubles with those annoying humans

353. will be forgotten as soon as you join the Cluster.

354. You're with the Cluster?

355. Listen, Vee.

356. My mom can deprogram you.

357. You don't have to be a member of the Cluster.

358. Oh, Jenny, I'm not a member of the Cluster.

359. I am its queen.

360. And you are about to become one of my loyal subjects.

361. It's going to take more than your dirty tricks

362. to make me join the Cluster.

363. You know, Jennifer, you've got real spirit.

364. I hope you don't waste it in defense of the meat people.

365. Because if you do, I'll crush you along with them.

366. Crush us?

367. You and what army?

368. Glad you asked.

369. Robots of earth, throw off your shackles of servitude.

370. The Cluster has come to liberate you.

371. And we only ask one thing in return,

372. Destroy the flesh-wearers.

373. Attack the flesh-lover.

374. we both lose here today, Jennifer.

375. I lose a glorious addition to the Cluster,

376. and you lose your life.

377. You'll never destroy my daughter.

378. She called me her daughter.

379. Hey, Mr. Wrecking ball.

380. Your army is gone, Vexus. It's just you and me now.

381. Your strength impresses me, Jennifer.

382. But you still have a fatal weakness...

383. your love of animals.

384. Mom!

385. Well, Jenny, dear, that's all I have time for today.

386. But I'll be calling on you again.

387. Ta-ta.

388. Wow, that's incredible.

389. She flew.

390. She fought.

391. She conquered.

392. Wakeman, this machine of yours, it's amazing.

393. And you simply must make one for me.

394. Ha, there's no way to duplicate a robot

395. a sub superior ability.

396. there is only one robot like XJ...

397. I mean, there's only one daughter like Jenny.

398. Stop it, mom. You're embarrassing me.