My Life as a Teenage Robot 1x22

Directed by Rob Renzetti • Robert Alvarez

Jenny's desire to know the feeling of physical contact leads her to steal a set of artificial nerves from Dr. Wakeman. The nerves, however, have only two settings: tickle and pain. Jenny must manage these while fighting Himcules, a villain whose strength increases when he sees others in pain and diminishes at the sound of laughter.

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1. Another eight hours of uneventful sleep mode successfully completed.

2. M-monster!

3. Um, Jen, you might want to try the door next time.

4. What's all the racket?

5. Tuck was screaming about a monster,

6. but it seems to have run off.

7. There's no monster, you silly robot.

8. I was just having a dream.

9. A dream?

10. You don't know what dreams are?

11. Dreams are images that enter your subconscious mind when you sleep.

12. But they're not all nightmares.

13. People have awesome dreams where impossible things happen.

14. Well, I guess you can't really understand dreams

15. unless you've had one.

16. Well, I guess you can't really understand dreams

17. unless you've had one...

18. Had one... Have had one... Have had one...

19. Can I have one?

20. One what, dear?

21. A dream.

22. A dream?

23. What do androids dream of?

24. Electric sheep?

25. An interesting project. I'll put it on my list of things to do.

26. My long, long, incredibly long list of things to do.

27. Great, another night of dreamless sleep function.

28. Are you still awake?

29. I've come up with a new dream program.

30. I don't believe it.

31. What about your long list of things to do?

32. I put this on the top of the list.

33. Now, open up.

34. The chip will automatically kick in when you enter sleep mode

35. and send you into dream mode.

36. Dream mode!

37. Sweet dreams.

38. That banana is larger than soup.

39. Oh, my gosh,

40. and then I enjoyed a glass of juice for the first time...

41. orange juice!

42. It tasted like apple.

43. Then Don and I sat in a hot tub,

44. and I didn't electrocute him!

45. You know, Jen,

46. dreams are more fun to have than to hear about.

47. I know exactly what you mean.

48. You can't really understand dreams until you've had one,

49. and boy, did I have one.

50. Did I tell you about the hot tub?

51. Good morning, class.

52. Today we are going to discuss the kraken

53. and its fight with the hero perseus.

54. Bo-ring.

55. I've already downloaded that lesson into my memory bank.

56. I wish it was time to sleep so I could dream.

57. Hey, I wonder if I can activate the dream chip now.

58. ...but perseus bravely set sail to conquer the beast.

59. And the kraken and perseus were locked in fierce combat.

60. Release them, kraken!

61. Hold on!

62. I've got the answer.

63. Onion doughnuts!

64. Is there something you wish to share with the class, Ms. XJ-9?

65. 'Sup, Bonnie?

66. Hi, Brad.

67. 'Sup, Jarvis?

68. Hey, big "B."

69. 'Sup, Jenny?

70. Howdy, partner.

71. That's a swell ten-gallon hat you got thar.

72. Uh, Jen?

73. Yahoo!

74. Yow!

75. Jenny, why weren't you listening to me?

76. Why listen to boring old you

77. when I can activate my dream chip while I'm awake?

78. School has never been so entertaining.

79. I don't know, Jen.

80. You seem to lose touch with reality pretty quick when you turn that on.

81. Maybe you should give it a break.

82. I can turn my dream off any time I want to.

83. I'm in total control.

84. Is that why you've been jumping on desks and riding drinking fountains?

85. You're just jealous of my superior dreaming ability.

86. You can't really understand a superior dream

87. unless you've had a superior dream.

88. Ta-ta.

89. Oh, that Brad.

90. Dreaming is perfectly healthy and normal.

91. In fact, this walk home would be a lot more pleasant in dream mode.

92. I just set a personal record.

93. I've driven across six states straight on only one cup of coffee.

94. Hi, Mr. Elephant.

95. Give me a hug.

96. What it hit me?

97. By the gods!

98. The Kraken!

99. Surrender, foul beast.

100. Do not worry.

101. I have slain the monster.

102. It still lives.

103. I think she's crazy!

104. What's going on in there?

105. Hello?

106. Uh, Jen,

107. I like to play with my food as much as the next guy,

108. but this is undignified.

109. You? So you're behind this!

110. Behind what?

111. Don't play coy with me, goat boy.

112. What?

113. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.

114. Halt, you horned hooligan!

115. Where'd the little trickster go?

116. More minions from Hades.

117. Whoa, what's the rush, Tuck?

118. So Jenny thinks you're a goat boy

119. because she's stuck in dream mode due to an electical accident

120. that neither of us should know about because we weren't there?

121. Yuh-huh!

122. Doh, what's holding things up?

123. Some of us have petrie dishes percolating, you know.

124. Wicked monsters!

125. Vile creatures!

126. XJ-9, just what do you think you're doing?

127. How dare you cause all these insurance claims.

128. Gee, I don't know what came over me.

129. I'm so sorry...

130. Medusa!

131. So you are behind all this madness.

132. Uh, um, Medusa?

133. If you've come to defeat me yourself, you're out of luck.

134. My metal body cannot be turned to stone by your evil gaze.

135. Prepare to meet Zeus.

136. Oh, young lady, you are so grounded!

137. Dr. Wakeman, Jenny's gone crazy!

138. I know! I know!

139. So your goat boy horde has joined the battle.

140. Any last words, evil ones?

141. Jumping into the mouth of a Griffin won't save you!

142. Cough 'em up, you overgrown Turkey!

143. Oh, we're doomed.

144. As long as XJ-9 is stuck in dream mode, we can't reason with her!

145. I know a way to shock her out of it.

146. But I need someone to distract her.

147. But how?

148. In her twisted reality, XJ-9 sees us all as monsters.

149. Yeah, it's almost like one of us has to look really weird in the real world

150. so we'd look normal in her dream world.

151. Hmm.

152. Uh, hello, Jenny.

153. Tuck!

154. Oh, it's so good to see a friendly, normal face.

155. Uh, yep, that's right, It's me.

156. Normal Tuck... just as normal as you are.

157. You're acting kind of weird, Tuck.

158. What are you up to?

159. I'm acting weird?

160. Look, Jenny, don't take this the wrong way,

161. but you're totally hallucinating and have gone completely nuts!

162. You've been talking to Brad, haven't you?

163. Look, I'm in complete control of my dream chip.

164. Hey, did you hear something?

165. Huh? Nope! Uh-uh!

166. No one here but us normal people.

167. Say...

168. What's going on here?

169. Goat boy Jr.! This has all been a trick!

170. Put him down, Jenny.

171. Pick on someone your own size.

172. With pleasure.

173. Oh, candy!

174. Hey...

175. what's going on here?

176. Wow, I guess I really am stuck in dream mode.

177. Boy, you won't believe the day I've had.

178. I'm sorry about my behavior earlier.

179. I have to admit that I did abuse the chip,

180. despite Brad's warnings.

181. Now, hold still, XJ-9.

182. I'll have the dream chip switched off in a jiffy.

183. Uh, can you hurry it up a little, Mom?

184. We just missed the t-bone steak,

185. and the next one's not due for another hour.

186. Tickle fight!

187. Tickle, tickle, tickle.

188. That's it.

189. You're going down!

190. Tickle, tickle, tickle!

191. What are you guys doing?

192. Tickle fight!

193. I don't understand.

194. What's tickle?

195. What's tickle?

196. This is tickle! This is tickle!

197. This is tickle!

198. Wait a second, Tuck.

199. I really don't think Jenny knows what being ticklish is.

200. Oh.

201. Well, it's simple.

202. It's that funny feeling you get inside when someone pinches you a lot.

203. Feeling?

204. Uh, it's like the feeling

205. of taking a bushel of dandelions and jamming them in your mouth.

206. It's that funny feeling you get inside.

207. Like this?

208. No, spit that out!

209. Let me try to explain this.

210. You see, we humans have a sense of "touch,"

211. which is caused by nerve endings

212. found riiiight under the skin.

213. These nerves transmit a rainbow of different sensations

214. that range from the sharpness of a pinch

215. to the gentle caress of the wind on your face.

216. Wow, well, I guess it isn't so great being a teenage robot if you can't feel.

217. You've got no feelings! You've got no feelings!

218. Doh!

219. Hi?

220. See, that's the downside to feeling,

221. Pain.

222. So I guess it isn't so great to feel.

223. Eh, whatever.

224. - Tickle fight! - Tickle fight!

225. Tickle, tickle.

226. Tickle, tickle, tickle!

227. Ooh!

228. Fascinating.

229. Mom, why don't I have nerve endings?

230. I did start to develop some,

231. but they only worked on two settings:

232. Ticklish

233. and pain.

234. Not very helpful for a crime-fighting robot, so I shelved them.

235. In fact, they're on the shelf right behind you.

236. They're beautiful.

237. Can I put them on?

238. Don't be ridiculous, XJ-9.

239. But it would help me better understand the...

240. uh... human condition.

241. I said no, young lady.

242. So I'll just be putting them back, then.

243. That's fine, dear.

244. Say, would you mind turning my dial to "tickle?"

245. Now give me a pinch.

246. Ew, no!

247. Brad, check it out.

248. I've got my new robotic nerve endings.

249. I can feel.

250. Here, give me a tickle.

251. Again.

252. Another.

253. One more, one more.

254. All right, this is getting weird.

255. I'm out of here.

256. Only a geek would have that much fun in school.

257. Students, uh, today's scores count for most of your, uh, grade this semester.

258. So no talking!

259. And begin!

260. Sorry.

261. I'd better switch off the giggles.

262. Sheldon.

263. Oh, hey, there, Jenny.

264. Would you turn the knob on my back?

265. Boy, would I?

266. Shh!

267. Hurry up and just turn it.

268. Thanks, Sheldon.

269. Ow!

270. Jennifer, one more peep, and I will fail you!

271. I'll be good.

272. See that you are.

273. Man, pain really hurts.

274. Oh, man.

275. Hey, Jenny, would you have an extra...

276. Jeez, sorry, I'll get my own pencil.

277. I can get through this. I just need to find my center.

278. "B, c, a, d, a, b, b.

279. "A, a, d, c, a, d.

280. B, a, d, c, a, b, d."

281. Hey, slow down, brainiac. I can't copy that fast.

282. "D, b, a, b, d, b."

283. "Ahh-ah?"

284. Oh, she must mean "a, a, a, a, a."

285. Uh-oh.

286. Ow!

287. See you tomorrow...

288. Jenny.

289. Thou calleth yourselves men,

290. playing with those tinkertoys?

291. And who are you to scoff at us while wearing a dress?

292. It's a Toga.

293. I'll show you whoeth you're dealing with.

294. Himcules?

295. That's right, Himcules.

296. Ten times the man Hercules was.

297. I am, how you say, "muy macho".

298. Now, form a sewing circle.

299. Yes, the pain of your humiliation gives me much pleasure

300. and increases my already prodigious power.

301. Now, to profit from your pain.

302. Hear me, scrawny but wealthy businessmen!

303. I, Himcules, command you!

304. Giveth me all your loot!

305. Now, I will haveth the richest muscles in all of Olympus.

306. The only place those muscles will be seen is in the prison yard.

307. Huh?

308. You make me laugh, little lady.

309. Now get back to washing the dishes and scrubbing the potatoes.

310. How 'bout I scrub that smirk off your face instead?

311. Ow!

312. Your screams of pain only give Himcules more strength.

313. See?

314. In fact, it's time for me to juice up.

315. Hey!

316. I was using that bus.

317. Feel my pain.

318. Uh-oh.

319. Ow, cut it out!

320. Ow, please stop!

321. Ow, ow, oww!

322. Yes, yes, that's it!

323. Your pain is bringing Himcules much strength!

324. If I could just reach that switch,

325. I'd show you some real pain.

326. You showeth a lot of spunk for a little lady.

327. Just to show you I'm a good sport,

328. I'll let you bust me in the chops once.

329. Go 'head. Right here.

330. This is gonna hurt you more than it hurts me...

331. I hope.

332. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

333. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

334. Now it's my turn.

335. Batter upeth.

336. Ow.

337. Now, where was I?

338. Oh, yeah!

339. As I was saying before, give me all your loot!

340. You gotta help me.

341. I was created without the ability to feel,

342. so I stole sensors and put them on without my Mom knowing,

343. but they only work on two settings,

344. and that jerk, Himcules keeps beating me up.

345. So could you please set me back to tickle?

346. Thanks, kid.

347. Whatever, freak.

348. Hey, Himcules!

349. With all that cash, you can buy yourself a new dress.

350. It's a Toga!

351. Now you're laughing?

352. Laugh at this.

353. Stop...

354. Laughing...

355. At...

356. Me!

357. Hey,

358. macho man, Himcules is getting beat by a girl.

359. Hey, cut it out.

360. I guess he isn't so tough.

361. Ooh, I dropped a stitch.

362. Stop laughing at me!

363. My powers!

364. Oh, no!

365. Ah, great, reduced to a 90-pound weakling.

366. Oh, Himcules, it's not the size of your muscles that matters;

367. it's the size of your heart.

368. Ah, gee, thanks.

369. You know, you're pretty cool...

370. I mean, for a girl.

371. That's it.

372. Batter up!

373. That tickles!

374. Hey, Jenny, what happened to your new nerve endings?

375. Mom busted me and took them off.

376. Well, they were a little primitive.

377. You'll probably feel better without them.

378. Yeah, you're right.