My Life as a Teenage Robot 1x16

Directed by Rob Renzetti • Randy Myers

Having been found to have only been activated for five years, the school system declares that Jenny has to be moved into a grade level that corresponds to her "age." Jenny finds herself being forced to adapt to kindergarten.

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1. Hmm. Baked ham?

2. Check.

3. Coleslaw?

4. Check.

5. Cheese wheel?

6. Check.

7. Ant repellant?

8. Uh...

9. Must be in the pantry.

10. You stay here, I'll be right back.

11. Medicine ball, check.

12. Hi, tuck.

13. Sled, check.

14. Just vanquished the giant mechanical spider that was terrorizing the town.

15. Snow skies, check.

16. Wanna see the head?

17. So, Johnny, how do you like school?

18. Closed.

19. Croquet set.

20. Hey, Jenny.

21. Hey, Brad. What's up with Tuck?

22. The annual brother/sister picnic is this afternoon.

23. Every year, it's the same thing.

24. We spend two days packing a picnic basket.

25. then Tuck stuffs himself with free corndogs till he passes out.

26. Oh, I'd rather have my teeth drilled

27. than slog through another big bro-little bro event.

28. You can't mean that.

29. You should be grateful to have a brother.

30. You'll never know how lonely it is being an only.

31. Vat of pickled monkfish.

32. I could handle lonely.

33. "Gone to town for supplies.

34. "Please move quantum gigulator to the basement.

35. "Love, mom.

36. P.s. I left some motor oil out in case you get thirsty."

37. Cheers.

38. A door?

39. I never noticed that before.

40. Get ready to see the dude that put the "bad" in "badminton."

41. More like "lame-minton," my lad.

42. Yipe!

43. Sporting mishap averted. Please return to your carefree frolic.

44. Jenny?

45. Hey, guys.

46. I'd like you to meet my sisters.

47. But we thought you were an only child.

48. Me too.

49. Guess mom was holding out on me.

50. This little sweetie is XJ-1.

51. Somebody needs her oil changed.

52. And here's XJ-2.

53. We have to find a cure for those hiccups.

54. You might want to make that a priority.

55. Come here, XJ-3. Don't be shy.

56. She's a little clumsy.

57. There's no excuse for untidiness.

58. Uh, thanks, XJ-4.

59. Hi, I'm XJ-5. Nice to meet ya.

60. Whoa, you smell kinda funny.

61. But then again, all you humans do.

62. Oh, hey, lookie! A munchkin!

63. You smell a little funny.

64. Ha! I understand you organic beings enjoy a good joke.

65. Uh, hi.

66. You must be XJ-6.

67. Don't patronize me.

68. You think XJ-9 is cuter than me, don't you?

69. Don't bother answering. It's written all over your face.

70. Where?

71. I guess no one's going to introduce me.

72. I'm worthless.

73. You're not worthless, XJ-7.

74. Why, melted down, you'd easily fetch $20 at the recycling plant.

75. And this is XJ-8.

76. She's the closest to me in age,

77. but she's still my little sister.

78. It would appear that I am larger than you.

79. Therefore, I am the bigger sister,

80. and you are the little sister,

81. the puny, scrawny, inferior...

82. Yeah, okay.

83. Really, she looks up to me.

84. Actually, since I am taller than you...

85. Attention, picnickers.

86. The games are about to begin.

87. Come on, girls! Let's have some fun

88. Sibling style!

89. Okay, XJ-3.

90. This is the three-legged race, we can win this.

91. You've got to be quick on your feet.

92. On your marks.

93. Get set.

94. Go!

95. We won!

96. We did it, XJ-3.

97. XJ-3?

98. This is gonna be great.

99. You girls ready?

100. On your marks.

101. Get set.

102. Go.

103. You people are filthy.

104. Have some self-respect. Tidy yourselves up.

105. So you're pretty darn old for a human. And those nose hairs...

106. Uh, XJ-5?

107. You should leave that man--

108. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, chatterbox, wait your turn.

109. Can't you see I'm having a conversation with this gentleman?

110. Great. Now you scared him off.

111. Hey, pops, wait up!

112. So how old are you in, say, dog years?

113. Hey, XJ-7.

114. What's got you down?

115. Oh, life, the universe, everything.

116. What we both need is a good square dance.

117. Great, a crowd of humans laughing at my awkward shuffling.

118. That'll cheer me up.

119. Say, this isn't so bad.

120. You see?

121. You gotta learn to look on the bright side.

122. So what's the bright side of this?

123. Well, at least we're still clean.

124. What now?

125. XJ-8, what are you doing?

126. This human was blindfolded and was using a stick-type weapon

127. to vandalize a colorful paper pig.

128. It's a game, XJ-8.

129. It's a pinata.

130. It's filled with candy, and the kids try to break it open.

131. Candy?

132. What is this candy of which you speak?

133. Okay, let me show you.

134. We blindfold you.

135. Then we give you a stick.

136. Now see if you can break the pinata.

137. What's the matter with you?

138. Ugh!

139. What's wrong, sis?

140. What's wrong?

141. I thought it would be great to have sisters.

142. But you guys are terrible.

143. You're a thug.

144. And you're a neat freak.

145. You're a mope. You're just destructive.

146. You never shut up.

147. And you...

148. Forget it.

149. You're on your own.

150. I'm back to being an only robot.

151. Jenny, I hate to break this to you,

152. but brothers and sisters are supposed to embarrass you and drive you crazy.

153. It's like their job.

154. See what I mean?

155. I hear what you're saying, but--

156. Hey, who's that on the dam?

157. It can't be.

158. It is.

159. The Mad Hammer brothers.

160. I still don't see why we can't blow up the roller rink.

161. 'Cause everyone's here, spaz.

162. You're the spaz.

163. No, you are.

164. You stink like a monkey butt.

165. You stink like a elephant butt.

166. You stink like a spaz butt.

167. I hate to butt in,

168. but I think it's time for this to end.

169. Not yet, robot girl.

170. Yeah, spaz.

171. Oh, no! They're going to split the dam.

172. Okay, you two, let's simmer down and make nice.

173. You're too late, spazbot.

174. Too late?

175. Oh, no!

176. Water pressure...

177. Too strong.

178. Can't hold it back alone.

179. You're not alone!

180. Your sisters are here to help.

181. XJ-1, grease the slice.

182. XJ-8, use some muscle.

183. XJ-2, do your stuff.

184. Tidy up, XJ-4.

185. Okay, XJ-3, check for workmanship.

186. Wow, we did it. You guys saved me.

187. And after all the rotten stuff I said.

188. That's what sisters are for.

189. Oil is thicker than water.

190. But so much harder to clean out of a carpet.

191. A few harsh words aren't going to break up the XJs.

192. That's right.

193. Ain't nothing going to tear us apart.

194. Aw!

195. We hate to blow this precious moment.

196. But we got two tons of T.N.T.

197. That'll tear you apart quite nicely, spazzes.

198. Hey, the dam's leaking.

199. Come on, folks.

200. Let's not let a little water ruin our picnic.

201. This is a great chance for some mud wrestling.

202. Oh, no. What can we do?

203. Nothing. We're doomed.

204. Everyone, robo wall!

205. Come on, Jenny.

206. Can't do it without you.

207. For heaven's sake.

208. Can't I even run to radio shed without pandemonium breaking loose?

209. You should never have reactivated them, XJ-9.

210. XJ-1 through 8 are failed experiments.

211. They're unfinished prototypes.

212. They're--

213. They're heroes.

214. And more importantly, they're my sisters.

215. Well, you and your sisters have had your fun.

216. Now they need to go back to sleep.

217. Great! They can bunk in with me.

218. That's not what I meant.

219. Please, mom?

220. Please, please, please, please, please?

221. Oh, all right.

222. But just tonight.

223. You hear that, girls?

224. Slumber party!

225. Good night, XJ-4.

226. Good night, Jenny.

227. Good night, XJ-8.

228. Good night, Jenny.

229. Good night, XJ-5.

230. Good night, Jenny.

231. Good night, XJ-5.

232. Good night, XJ-6.

233. Good night, XJ-8.

234. Good night, XJ-2.

235. Achoo!

236. Good night, XJ-7.

237. Good night, Jenny.

238. Good night, XJ-1.

239. Good night, X... J...

240. Good night,

241. XJs 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

242. And good night, XJ-10.

243. What?

244. Kidding. Just kidding.

245. Minky, minky, minky, minky, minky, minky, minky momo!

246. The minky momo is an attitude.

247. The minky momo is a mellow mood.

248. You're momo when you're drinking lemonade.

249. You're momo soaking in a marinade.

250. I know you're minky, 'cause I'm momo too.

251. So I know what you're going through.

252. But there's no mo' momo

253. whenever I get close

254. to you.

255. Man, I hate that song.

256. What's that noise coming out of your throat?

257. Are you sick or something?

258. No, it's that minky momo song.

259. I heard it on the radio and I can't get it out of my head.

260. Don't you remember that one-hit wonder from six years ago?

261. Hardly.

262. I was only built five years ago.

263. That's right.

264. I forgot you're only five years old.

265. Wow.

266. So you don't remember the Blizzard of '24.

267. Nope.

268. Or the Alpha Centauri landing?

269. Nope.

270. A five-year-old?

271. A five-year-old in high school?

272. Anaconda to H.Q. Anaconda to H.Q.

273. We have a code omega.

274. Repeat, code omega!

275. Super Bowl 100?

276. Nope.

277. Neptune Olympics.

278. Nope.

279. Remain where you are!

280. Do not make any sudden movements!

281. Step away from the toddler, sir.

282. Toddler? What Todd--

283. Try to remain calm.

284. We'll have you in the proper school in a matter of minutes.

285. But this is my school.

286. Ah!

287. Don't you worry about nothing, little girl.

288. We're taking you to a place that's all cotton candy.

289. Yeah, nothing but cotton candy clouds and all the cookies yous can eat.

290. But I don't eat.

291. Where are they taking her?

292. Where her kind belong...

293. Kindergarten!

294. Kindergarten?

295. Jenny, don't worry!

296. I'll call Wakeman! We'll get this straightened out!

297. Uh, I was told to give you this,

298. but I think there's been some mistake.

299. They said you were going to be my new teacher,

300. but that can't be right.

301. I mean, what is this, kindergarten?

302. I'm a teenager. I belong in high school.

303. But high school is for much older children, dear.

304. According to this, you're only five years old.

305. Yes, I was "made" five years ago.

306. But I was designed as a teenager.

307. I belong with other teenagers in high school.

308. Oh.

309. I've seen your kind before.

310. In such a hurry to be all growed up.

311. But you have to learn to crawl before you can walk, sweetie.

312. But that's just it.

313. I don't.

314. Look.

315. Never crawled.

316. Walking just fine.

317. Obviously, I don't belong here.

318. Perhaps.

319. But only very special achievers are promoted to higher grade levels.

320. Well, how special are we talking about?

321. As special as this?

322. Or how about this?

323. This special enough for you?

324. No, no, no, my dear.

325. The walking/crawling thing was just a metaphor.

326. No, what we need to see is special achievement in the classroom.

327. If you're as advanced for your age as you claim,

328. I'm sure it'll become apparent in no time.

329. Class, we have a new student.

330. Please say hello to Jenny.

331. She's... she's all metal-y.

332. Yeah, yuk it up, peewee.

333. I'm about to special achieve my way out of this playpen.

334. Class, eyes front for the alphabet.

335. Now, this is the letter "M."

336. Anyone know a word that starts with "M"?

337. Oh, brother.

338. Yes, Amber?

339. "Mommy!"

340. That's right, Amber.

341. Now, this is the letter "K."

342. Anyone know a word that begins with the "K" sound?

343. How about you, Kevin?

344. Do you know a word that begins with "K"?

345. Uh, "Kevin"?

346. Correct, Kevin!

347. This is the letter "O."

348. Who knows a word which begins with an "O"?

349. How about...

350. Gerald?

351. Uh...

352. Mm...

353. Uh...

354. Um...

355. Uh...

356. "O"!

357. Oak, oat, oaf, oath, oboe, obey, only, oblige, obscure,

358. observe, odor, octagon, outrigger, ovation, oven,

359. onomatopoeia, onset, overdrive, oncology, onion, otter, ought,

360. ounce, osmosis, ottoman, ostrich, optical, orangutan, organic,

361. obtuse.

362. In your face.

363. What a baby.

364. Jenny.

365. Would you please come here?

366. Finally.

367. I'm so out of here.

368. See you babies later.

369. I told you I didn't belong here.

370. I should say not.

371. You have a long way to go just to catch up to the rest of the class.

372. You haven't even learned the very first rule of kindergarten.

373. It's not about who's right or wrong,

374. it's trying our best to get along.

375. Maybe the next exercise will help.

376. Okay, class. It's make-believe time.

377. Let's break into our play groups.

378. Jenny, you can join Amber's group.

379. So what are we making believe?

380. We're playing house.

381. I'm the mommy, and Kevin is the daddy.

382. Gerald can be the smelly uncle.

383. And Alex can be the pool boy.

384. Who should I be?

385. You?

386. You can be the dog.

387. The dog?

388. I'm not gonna be the dog.

389. I don't want to be the pool boy.

390. I'll be the robot.

391. Doot! Doot! Danger! Danger!

392. The robot?

393. Hey, if anyone's going to be the robot, it should be me.

394. How can you be the robot when you're the doggy?

395. But I actually am a robot.

396. I am an actual robot.

397. Zoop! Zoop! Zeep! Reet!

398. Zeep! Rrrt!

399. But... but... but I am the robot.

400. I... Am... The robot. I... am... the robot.

401. You... Are... The robot. You... are... the robot.

402. But... but... but...

403. You... are... the robot. You... are... the robot.

404. But... but... but... but...

405. But... but I am the robot.

406. You are the robot. Ooh! Ooh!

407. You are the robot. Ooh! Ooh! You are the robot. Ooh! Ooh!

408. This is so stupid!

409. She said the "S" word.

410. That's a time-out, young lady. Come with me.

411. I am very disappointed in you, Jennifer.

412. But I am the robot.

413. Well, you're certainly not advanced placement material.

414. In fact, you may even need to be let back a year

415. to preschool.

416. What? But i'm--

417. Maybe you just need a break.

418. Let's see how you interact with others on the playground.

419. You can't catch me! You can't catch me!

420. Hey, guys. That looks like fun.

421. Can I call next?

422. - You're... - Too...

423. - Big. - Don't...

424. - Be... - Stupid.

425. Hey, dudes.

426. Can I play jungle gym with you?

427. You don't "play" jungle gym.

428. You play "on" a jungle gym.

429. Yeah, don't be stupid.

430. Hey, how about some twosies?

431. Sorry, we don't jump twosies.

432. Twosies are for babies.

433. Stupid babies.

434. What about you?

435. 'Suppose there's not enough room in your mud pie factory for two.

436. Okay.

437. You guys want to play hardball?

438. I'll play hardball.

439. Uh-oh.

440. Well!

441. I've seen more than enough.

442. Advanced placement?

443. You don't belong in school at all.

444. You may have damaged these children permanently.

445. Class, what do we say when someone can't get along and doesn't belong?

446. Cool!

447. What? No, class. That's not...

448. Jenny! Jenny!

449. Are you a superhero for real, right?

450. Do you have a sidekick?

451. Miss Binky, can Super Jenny read to us at story time?

452. Well, class, I'm not sure that would be...

453. Yeah!

454. "And that's how the leopard got his spots.

455. The End."

456. Wow.

457. They look so harmless when they're asleep.

458. You did a very good job with story time, Jenny.

459. Don't you want to take a nap with the rest of the class?

460. Me?

461. I'm a high school student.

462. A nap in the middle of the day...

463. Sounds pretty good.

464. This kindergarten stuff isn't all bad.

465. Easier than high school.

466. Might be nice to hang here for a while.

467. Error! Error!

468. Mother!

469. There has been an error in the educational system.

470. As these diagrams illustrate,

471. XJ-9 was made five years ago,

472. but she was designed as a teenager.

473. Hmm, I see.

474. Well, in that case, you can go.

475. What?

476. But that's exactly what I said.

477. Yes, dear, but you didn't have diagrams.

478. Now, don't you think you should be going?

479. Uh, I guess.

480. Jenny?

481. Are you going away, Super Jenny?

482. Bye-bye, Jenny.

483. We love you, Super Jenny.

484. We'll miss you.

485. Oh, kids.

486. I'll miss you too.

487. No! Stop!

488. Wait! I changed my mind.

489. I don't want to go. I want to stay.

490. I'm only five years old.

491. Man, what a baby.