My Life as a Teenage Robot 1x11

Directed by Rob Renzetti

Dr. Wakeman is proud of her newest enhancement for Jenny: multi-functional eyes that can see anything in any view. Jenny likes them until she sees how they look on her. She refuses to use them and fumbles around town without any sight until she finally realizes she needs them to fight an invisible villain.

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1. Oh, Ian Mccully, you're such a bad boy.

2. Even if the world is against you, you hold your ground.

3. Ooh, and those beautiful blue eyes.

4. Hello, XJ-9.

5. Hello. Knocking?

6. What?

7. Door.

8. Privacy? Common courtesy? Knocking?

9. Speaking of knocking, here's something you won't knock.

10. A pair of enhanced optical sensor arrays.

11. They're telescopic, have macrofocus,

12. and will allow you to see imagery invisible to the human eye.

13. Well, they are the same shade of icy blue as Ian Mccully's.

14. But I think I'll stick with my old eyes.

15. Honestly, XJ-9, you can be so stubborn.

16. You have to look at the big picture.

17. These eyes will increase your crime-fighting efficiency.

18. Just try them on.

19. Trust me, you'll like them.

20. Don't you want to look like your friend, uh, Ethan?

21. Oh, it's Ian.

22. All right, I'll try them on.

23. Whoa, you're all blocky style.

24. That's digital vision.

25. Flip through the other settings.

26. Ultraviolet vision.

27. Infrared vision.

28. X-ray vision.

29. Heat vision.

30. Rainbow vision.

31. Oh, pretty colors!

32. Wow, I even have sausage vision.

33. So what you think?

34. I think I'll be the coolest-looking teenager ever!

35. Wow, it's like I'm seeing the world for the first time!

36. The sky is so much bluer.

37. The grass is so much greener.

38. The people so much paler.

39. I'm glad you like them, dear.

40. Let's park by klein's hardware

41. and get some transistors to match your new eyes.

42. Cool posters.

43. Such a sad little girl.

44. Oh, a puppy!

45. This one's creepy.

46. Oh, it's me.

47. Wow, I really look freaky on this setting.

48. Hey, mom, which setting is number one?

49. The number one? Normal.

50. That's funny. I thought you said, "normal."

51. I did.

52. Normal? You call this normal?

53. How could you do this to me?

54. Do what? What are you talking about?

55. I'm talking about these wiggly-squiggly bug snakes you call eyes.

56. XJ-9, you're not looking at the big picture.

57. You're not looking at this picture.

58. It's called I made my daughter a total dweeb.

59. You don't look dweeb, I think you look very pa-hat.

60. It's pronounced "fat," mother,

61. and giant periscopes in your head are not phat, dope, or even cool.

62. I want my old eyes back.

63. What? But these are far more efficient.

64. Who cares about efficiency?

65. I do, and so should you, young lady.

66. Now, stop being silly.

67. Only way to stop being silly is to lose these jokes.

68. XJ-9, you cannot go sightless.

69. You have a job to do.

70. Give me my old eyes back, and I'll do it.

71. Absolutely not.

72. Fine.

73. I'll save the world without your stinking eye--

74. If you can't even conquer a hot dog cart,

75. how can you hope to conquer evil?

76. Just watch me.

77. What are you looking at?

78. Help! Oh, help.

79. Help me!

80. Cool 3-d monster.

81. - Best effects ever! - Yeah, yeah!

82. What's going on?

83. Is someone hurt? I heard screaming.

84. That is so cool.

85. Hey, she's not a 3D effect.

86. She's just three-dimensional.

87. Rough day, jenn?

88. I've seen better.

89. So,

90. what's the deal with the eyes?

91. Well, it all started when...

92. Sorry.

93. So I said, "keep your goggly eyes," and I stormed off.

94. I don't know, Jen.

95. Going sightless could be dangerous.

96. Maybe you should get those eyes back.

97. That's easy for you to say.

98. I'm the one who looked like a king-sized dork.

99. Can't you and your mom find some sort of compromise?

100. What, so I'd only look like a medium-sized dork?

101. Either that or get a seeing-eye dog.

102. Tuck, you're a genius.

103. I am?

104. I need someone to be my eyes.

105. Someone intelligent, reliable, alert.

106. Someone like...

107. Brad!

108. All right!

109. Hey, I'm just as...

110. As alert as Brad.

111. I want to be the eyes.

112. Too bad, short stuff. She picked me.

113. Well, she can unpick you.

114. If we have to have this conversation one more time...

115. Why would anyone pick you?

116. You two figure it out.

117. Just as long as someone...

118. Watches out for me.

119. Watch out for that car!

120. Uh, thanks.

121. Help!

122. Speed up, speed up!

123. Slow down, slow down!

124. Help!

125. What happened here?

126. He broke into my contact lens store.

127. He nabbed all my kaleidoscopes.

128. He took my eye shadow.

129. Though people tell me I'm beautiful without it.

130. What did he look like?

131. He wore a hat.

132. And a coat.

133. I think he had a mustache.

134. No, it was a beard!

135. Or was it a scar?

136. I remember his crooked teeth.

137. No, dude, it was his nose.

138. His feet were big.

139. I remember now.

140. He was invisible.

141. Oh, yeah!

142. Look, there he is!

143. Mostly.

144. Let's get him!

145. Hold on.

146. We need a bird's-eye view.

147. This is the coolest.

148. Any sign of him?

149. He's right below us.

150. Dive-bomb him.

151. Bombs away!

152. We're heading straight for him.

153. Straight for the ground, pull up, pull up!

154. No, stay down.

155. Which is it?

156. Pull up!

157. Look, in the playground.

158. Huh?

159. Stealing candy glasses from a baby?

160. How lame.

161. You sure you don't need eyes to fight this guy?

162. Duh.

163. What good are eyes to fight someone invisible?

164. Just point me in the right direction.

165. Okay, you're right in front of him.

166. You missed.

167. Try the Side-Winder.

168. Missed again.

169. Kick him with your laser leg.

170. Hair Razorangs.

171. Any luck?

172. Nope.

173. I don't get it.

174. Brad, did someone take your eyes?

175. What's that supposed to me-e-ean!

176. Brad? Tuck?

177. Where are you?

178. Up here!

179. Somehow we're levitating.

180. And it's kind of cool.

181. Well, it is.

182. Cool, huh?

183. Jenny, get your eyes!

184. Come on, Brad, don't give up now.

185. We almost got him.

186. Get your eyes, Jenny.

187. Tuck, here's your chance, you can guide me.

188. Get those eyes!

189. Oh, all right.

190. Activate homing beacon.

191. I'll be back, guys. Don't panic.

192. Teenagers.

193. One day they're operating efficiently, and the next,

194. they're tossing off body parts and calling you a dweeb.

195. Mom.

196. I need those eyes back.

197. Well, well, well, seeing things differently now, are we?

198. Please, mom, Brad and Tuck are in trouble.

199. Well, I don't know.

200. Your sure these eyes are "phat" enough for your friends?

201. Yes, mom. They're phat, dope, and way cool.

202. You didn't mention their efficiency.

203. Well, young lady, I hope you've learned not to be so stubborn

204. and to always listen to your mother.

205. Sure, Mom, whatever. Got to go!

206. Take my advice: Don't ever build children.

207. So dizzy.

208. I think I'm gonna puke.

209. Now to shed a little light on the subject of the invisible man.

210. Hey.

211. You're not an invisible man.

212. You're an invisible eyeball!

213. So you've discovered my secret with yourpowerful eyes.

214. They are nothing compared to the might of the all-seeing infrared Ivan.

215. Puny humans try to challenge me with their contacts,

216. bifocals, and telescopes.

217. But no one shall be allowed to match my visionary powers.

218. All the world's eyewear will be mine and mine alone!

219. And there's nothing you can do to stop me.

220. Irritation... Destroying me.

221. Hey, eye drops here!

222. Huh?

223. Get your eye drops here.

224. Cooling relief for irritated eyes.

225. Get your eye drops here.

226. Eye drops and...

227. hot sauce, red-hot hot sauce.

228. Now I'll take care of you.

229. Hoo-hoo-hoo!

230. Anything, anything to stop the burning.

231. Hey, get your magnifying glass.

232. Intensify the burning nature of the sun here.

233. Get your pointy stick here.

234. You guys okay?

235. Yeah.

236. Can we go home now?

237. After I take care of this minor irritation.

238. Now we can go home.

239. Can you drop me at my optometrist's?

240. I think you're crazy, Jenny.

241. Your eyes are wicked cool!

242. What do you think, Brad?

243. Uh, they're not totally not cool.

244. Gee, thanks.

245. Oh, XJ-9.

246. I have a surprise for you.

247. What is it? A pair of giant wax lips?

248. Not quite.

249. My old eyes!

250. I modified them to work like the new ones,

251. although they're not quite as efficient.

252. I can't believe you did this! Thank you!

253. Well, it seemed like there was room for compromise.

254. Oh, and speaking of room.

255. In order to keep them compact,

256. I had to put the power supply in this fanny pack.

257. Fanny pack, shmanny pack,

258. as long as I look like my old self.

259. What?

260. Stop, stop.

261. You got to stop before somebody gets hurt.

262. We're taking these old rental cars

263. and turning them into new rental cars.

264. It's recycling. Doesn't hurt anybody.

265. No, no, no, I rented one of these cars yesterday.

266. I left some personal items in it.

267. Same deal, we melt down your old personal items,

268. make new personal items.

269. Don't worry about it.

270. Well, you don't seem to understand.

271. I'm a dynamite salesman.

272. Dynamite salesman?

273. Dynamite salesman?

274. Dynamite salesman?

275. Dynamite salesman?

276. Dynamite salesman?

277. You mean to tell me one of these cars is filled with dynamite?

278. Yes!

279. But I don't know which one.

280. All of these rental cars look the same.

281. Dah! Run for your life!

282. Did someone say dynamite salesman?

283. The cars, smashing, dynamite, oh!

284. Thank you, robo girl. You saved my bacon.

285. No biggie, it's all in a day's programming.

286. By the way, what did you do with the other one?

287. Other one?

288. Thanks.

289. Hey, Brad.

290. Jenny, where have you been? You almost missed your big chance.

291. Don prima's having another one of his world-famous parties

292. invitation only.

293. Yours truly has made the cut for the last two parties,

294. so this time, I figure I'm a shoe-in.

295. How doi get invited?

296. Just act "non-challent."

297. Non who?

298. You know, cool. Laid-back.

299. Oh!

300. Don't worry, dear. We'll hide your embarrassing position.

301. Why are we helping this circuit jerk?

302. I can't stand her, and neither can you.

303. Well, if we stand here, nobody can see her. Understand?

304. Uh...

305. And it would be impossible for a certain party host

306. to invite a certain robot to certain party

307. if he can't see her.

308. In that way, we stay the center of attention.

309. Certainly!

310. Hey, Brad.

311. Oh, hey, Don.

312. Would you like to...

313. that'd be great!

314. Um, I mean, cool.

315. Thanks.

316. Oh, by the way, have you met...

317. The names are Brit and Tiff, you social-climbing oaf.

318. And we already have our invites.

319. Thank you.

320. Where's Jenny?

321. Here I am!

322. You must be that robot girl.

323. She would be quite a conversation piece at your party.

324. But, Don, I thought you wanted this party to be a formal affair.

325. I guess that robot wasn't programmed for personal hygiene.

326. Pee-yew.

327. It stank.

328. I can't believe you didn't get invited to the party, Jenny.

329. It won't be the same without you.

330. Mwah!

331. Oh, sorry.

332. Why don't you just have your mom fix you up

333. so you can go to the party?

334. Check my odometer.

335. I just had my 10,000-mile tune-up.

336. If she sees how wrecked I am already, mom will total me.

337. I'll bet somebody at that garage can tune me up.

338. Kind of rough-looking bunch.

339. You better let me do the talking.

340. Hey, homes,

341. What you using there? A 4/8, or an 8/16?

342. Uh, yeah, the 4/8. That's what I would have done too.

343. I used to use nothing but a 3/6,

344. But the other day, I was fixing up my hog,

345. it's not really pig, though. It's a motorcycle...

346. You guys wouldn't be interested in helping a girl get fixed up

347. for her first fancy formal party, would you?

348. Are you kidding?

349. We'd love to!

350. - Gorgeous! - Bye, y'all!

351. Y'all come back now!

352. Jenny, I don't know what to say. You look...

353. You look great, Jenny.

354. I don't know.

355. Maybe if I just tone it down a little.

356. Oh, my gosh! Did you get a new paint job?

357. Um...

358. 'Cause you look fantastic.

359. I do?

360. You're gorgeous!

361. I am?

362. Lovely.

363. Stunning.

364. Beautiful.

365. Wow! Check out Jenny's new look!

366. Jenny.

367. Come here.

368. Surely you've heard about my party this weekend.

369. I want you to be there.

370. Your sparkling personality is bound to be the center of attention.

371. Gosh, Don, I'd love to go.

372. Oh, that bally spit-shine bucket of bolts.

373. How are we supposed to compete with that?

374. Paint flames on our feet?

375. No, it's not about us looking like her.

376. It's about us making her look like a piece of rubbish.

377. And I know just the guy for the job.

378. Tiff, could you please tell me why we're sneaking around the slums?

379. Because this is where the mudslinger lives.

380. Mud whom?

381. Shh!

382. News flash!

383. The mudslinger has company.

384. What's the scoop, dolls?

385. Word on the street is that you can get the dirt on anybody.

386. My byline is well known, and that's no sound bite.

387. Now, just give me the who, what, when, where, and why.

388. Were talking about literally getting the dirt on somebody.

389. The mudslinger ain't talking about an article ín the Sunday times.

390. Now, give me the details.

391. Nothing's gonna bug me today.

392. Cause I'm going to Don prima's partay.

393. Why, yes, Don. I'd love a glass of lemonade.

394. Help!

395. Help, help!

396. Help! Somebody!

397. Oh, the pain, the pain!

398. What's the story, mister?

399. Headline: "Teenager robot is a very dirty girl."

400. Sling mud on me, will ya? I'll rearrange your byline.

401. Stop the presses.

402. Back off, or the puppy gets it.

403. Looks like your inkwells run dry.

404. You haven't seen the extra edition.

405. Oh!

406. Now I'll never be able to go to the party.

407. Hey, now. Let's go easy.

408. The mudslinger isn't such a bad guy.

409. I'm just a hired hand.

410. Come on, now.

411. It was the Krust cousins' idea.

412. Have mercy!

413. The mudslinger knows how you feel.

414. I've never been invited to a party in my whole entire life.

415. Well then, would you like my invitation?

416. Oh.

417. Brit and Tiff... they are so great.

418. Girl, we are the center of attention.

419. As it should be, dear cousin.

420. Extra, extra!

421. Star reporter attends social event of the season.

422. The Krust cousins reveal how boring Don prima's parties are.

423. Big mudslinger to come liven it up.

424. Leave it to the Krust cousins to invite a guy like that.

425. My parties are not boring.

426. I can't stand those Krust cousins.

427. Me neither!

428. Yes, those flames are painted on my feet.

429. Yes, I like them too.

430. No, thank you, Don. I don't want any lemonade.

431. Well, how about some water, then?

432. Hey, when we get you clean up,

433. maybe we can head over to Don Prima's party.

434. You know, I have a feeling that party's gonna stink.