My Adventures with Superman 1x7

Directed by Jen Bennett

Kimberly Brooks as Jalana Olsen (voice) • Osric Chau as Lewis Lane (voice) • David Errigo Jr. as Mr. Mxyzptlk (voice) • Lauren Tom as Leader Lois (voice)

Clark tries to plan a normal date without any Superman problems - but gets interrupted when Mr. Mxyzptlk sweeps him, Jimmy, and Lois into a high-stakes, multiverse-hopping chase!

Request examples:

!req My Adventures with Superman 1x7 [02:32]
!req My Adventures with Superman 1x7 [My Adventures with Superman 1x7]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req My Adventures with Superman 1x7 [10-11]; !req My Adventures with Superman 1x7 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. No more secrets, right?

2. So... Here's the rest of me.

3. [high-pitched voice] What?

4. I can't— It's a ship! Lois, it's a spaceship!

5. Look at the pointy boys!

6. They're obelisks.

7. They project holograms and transport material—

8. this is the greatest day of my life!

9. I know I lied.

10. - I can't erase that. Then we start over.

11. Hey, big guy. I'm Lois Lane.

12. What's your name?

13. Uh, Clark Kent.

14. Though sometimes I go by Superman.

15. Wow, that seems like a great name,

16. given to you by someone especially talented.

17. Where do you come from?

18. Outer space.

19. What planet or where, I... I have no idea.

20. What can you do?

21. I'm still figuring that out.

22. Why did you bring me here? Really.

23. I brought you here because there's no bad guys,

24. no robots, and absolutely nothing

25. to interrupt me when I ask you this,

26. Lois Lane, will you go on a date with me?

27. Have no fear, your wingman is here.

28. Let's get ready for tonight's...

29. Okay, all right.

30. So, what is happening here, buddy?

31. Jimmy! Great timing.

32. You can help me chart out the dates.

33. - What?

34. This is our first official date.

35. So I've plotted a route and timed it,

36. because I'm taking Lois out

37. for the most romantic evening of her life.

38. I'll fly in to pick her up at 6:45.

39. The cherry blossoms in the Park bloom at exactly seven o'clock,

40. so we'll have 15 minutes to get to the romantic rooftop view,

41. which we'll savor for, uh, 31 minutes

42. before flying to Lois's

43. favorite restaurant at 7:50

44. for our 8:00 p.m. reservation,

45. then coffee at 9:30!

46. So, you finally got a date with the girl of your dreams,

47. and your first move is to make a flow chart?

48. And a map.

49. Seems like you're putting a lot of pressure on this.

50. Well, it has to be perfect.

51. Lois deserves it.

52. One night with no talking gorillas,

53. or freeze-ray bank robbers.

54. Just me and her.

55. Oh, I forgot about the swans taking flight at 7:45.

56. - Oh, okay. - Well, have fun losing your mind.

57. I'm going to go hang out at Lois's

58. where it's normal, and—

59. Hmm, yeah.

60. - Mmm-hmm. - Nope. She's lost it too.

61. Jimmy! Great. I think I figured out the perfect gift for Clark.

62. Oh, a collection of crazed notes written on loose leaf paper.

63. No, no, no.

64. His past.

65. Every time I've hit a block, Clark's been there for me,

66. you know, in one form or another.

67. And I wanna give him back something in return.

68. I can't fly or fight robots.

69. But investigating, finding answers? This is what I can do.

70. I've started my research, gonna crush it,

71. and I'm ready to meet Clark ten minutes early.

72. I'm perfect.

73. Now, if you'll excuse me.

74. Sweatpants!

75. And there it is.

76. Ugh! I left my dress at the drycleaners.

77. I'm gonna be late!

78. Most of us own at least one drycleanable item.

79. Not all of us can wear the same blue jacket every day.

80. And done.

81. I can do this. It's just me and Lois,

82. and no weird Superman stuff to ruin it.

83. Superman.

84. I'm Mr. Mxyzptlk,

85. an interdimensional peacekeeper, and I need your help.

86. Nope.

87. I'm charged with the safety of the multiverse, son.

88. So I need you to put on your suit and come with me.

89. Okay, look, I'm not Superman.

90. - I'm just, uh... - Mild-mannered Clark Kent.

91. Wannabe reporter with superpowers.

92. Nice try, sport, but Clark is Superman in almost every reality,

93. This Earth, Earth 12, Earth 50, Earth 508,

94. Weird Earth, the works.

95. How did you... How did you...

96. Was I a crab?

97. There are infinite universes out there, pal,

98. and infinite Supermen.

99. But I'm here because Lois Lane is in danger.

100. Your Lois Lane.

101. She's been kidnapped by a gang of inter-dimensional criminals.

102. These people,

103. they're ruthless.

104. But if you're sure you're not Superman—

105. Where is she?

106. I can get you to their hideout, but, uh, oh...

107. It's got measures to stop me from portaling in.

108. You'll have to break through their security.

109. Whatever it takes to save Lois.

110. I knew I could count on you.

111. You're the Dependable Clark.

112. Now let's go.

113. Huh. No response.

114. Good. That gives me time to change.

115. Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen of Earth 12,

116. you need to come with us.

117. Why? Who are you people?

118. Lois Lane?

119. I'm Lois Lane.

120. That's Lois Lane. And that's Lewis Lane.

121. We are the League of Lois Lanes.

122. And your Clark Kent is in danger.

123. Huh?

124. - Where are we?

125. Hey! Are you okay?

126. I'm fine. Just not as strong as I used to be.

127. And this is the kidnapper's lair.

128. They're... They're inside and so is Lois.

129. Quick, she doesn't have much time.

130. Huh? Whoa!

131. Oops! Ow!

132. You gotta look out for their guard dog, too.

133. What?

134. Welcome to the flagship

135. of the interdimensional peacekeeping force,

136. The League of Lois Lanes.

137. We were founded by Lois Prime,

138. the first Lois to discover the multiverse.

139. We protect every dimension,

140. recruiting only the best Loises to help.

141. Usually after our first Pulitzer,

142. around our 21st birthday.

143. Oh, um, I'm... I'm 23.

144. So... You were reporters before then?

145. Ooh, which Lois are you?

146. - My name's Jalana Olsen.

147. And unfortunately, it seems I'm you.

148. Many Olsens are also a part of the league.

149. This brings us to why you're here.

150. This is Mxyzptlk.

151. He calls himself a "Chaos God."

152. We managed to disarm him, but as we were taking him in,

153. a portal opened to a previously unknown universe, yours.

154. He escaped into it.

155. If I ever get my hands

156. on the jerks who helped that gorilla

157. and the brain who opened that stupid portal—

158. Why do you need us for this Mr. Mxyzptlk?

159. Because your Clark is helping him.

160. What? Clark would never help a bad guy.

161. No one's saying that.

162. But we tracked Mxy here,

163. and now your Clark and Mxy are missing.

164. Lois, we need your help.

165. To find him, of course! I'll do what I do best,

166. investigate. Ah!

167. Excellent.

168. Once the scanner analyzes your dimensions' tachyons,

169. we'll be able to find your Clark.

170. Oh. That's what you needed.

171. Good. Great.

172. If it helps Clark, then—

173. You have no idea what you're dealing with, do you?

174. Not now.

175. Give us a moment, will ya?

176. - In the meantime, make yourself at home.

177. Just not in there.

178. - Ah! - Great.

179. Now, you smash and I grab.

180. Wait. Are... Are you robbing this place?

181. No. Of course not.

182. We're robbing this place.

183. - What? No. - Hey, look, there's the good stuff.

184. Where is Lois?

185. Metropolis, probably. How should I know?

186. Ooh, Cosmic Rod, Flight Ring...

187. Ah!

188. Here we go.

189. Lois was never in danger, was she?

190. No. Lois was never in danger.

191. I deceived you. I lied.

192. Why?

193. Because portal-proof vaults are a huge inconvenience,

194. and you are very strong.

195. But you're not the quickest guy from planet Krypton, are you?

196. Wha... uh... Krypton? Is... Is that where—

197. Help me break this glass.

198. - No! - Oh, that's okay.

199. I got it. Yeah.

200. - Stop!

201. You are going to put that back, and I will turn you over

202. to whatever authorities deal with you,

203. and then Lois and I are going on a perfect, normal date!

204. Normal? You are never going to be normal.

205. I have seen countless yous,

206. and it is your fate to always be different,

207. and weird, and alone.

208. And you may be stronger than me,

209. but can you stop me?

210. I think...

211. You're not okay.

212. No. I lost something dear to me.

213. I'm less... than I was,

214. but strong enough for one last trick.

215. No, no, no!

216. Hey!

217. I thought now would be a perfect time to get

218. some footage for my next Flamebird update.

219. This week's episode is definitely gonna be about the multiverse.

220. Wait. You're a Flamebird?

221. Out of all the Olsens in the multiverse,

222. I've never met another one.

223. Oh, what's the coolest thing you've seen?

224. Mine's the decaying remains

225. of the secret government laboratory

226. that definitely did not have a gorilla or a brain in it.

227. Telepathic Horse!

228. I'll show you!

229. - Don't, don't make us watch. - Not... Not again! Come on.

230. Ha-ha! It's time, bird-lievers!

231. Equus Mensa. Hippos Telepathia.

232. Comet.

233. The telepathic horse has many names.

234. All right. What are you hiding?

235. Lois, Earth 52, multiple award-winning reporter.

236. Earth 24, received key to the city at 19.

237. Lois, Earth 1, "Ready to meet with Dad."

238. Hmm.

239. "Superman-File X. Redacted?"

240. What does that mean?

241. Restricted. Access at headquarters only.

242. So, where is headquarters?

243. Everybody downstairs!

244. Analysis complete.

245. We found Mxy and Clark.

246. They just jumped to Earth 14...

247. after robbing Earth Prime's Space and Superhero Museum.

248. I knew it.

249. No, this... this has to be a misunderstanding.

250. You know Clark.

251. Your Clarks.

252. You know he'd never do something like this, uh, right?

253. Maybe you don't know Superman as well as you think you do.

254. - Coordinates set.

255. League, get ready.

256. We go after them in three, two...

257. The scene is set.

258. All we have to do... is wait for them to show up.

259. Wait for who to show up?

260. So what do we do?

261. Uh, what are those?

262. Only thing that'll take down a Clark.

263. What do you mean, take down?

264. Neutralize the Kryptonian.

265. He's too powerful to give the benefit of the doubt.

266. No. I won't let you do this.

267. - We know.

268. You didn't grab us to help you.

269. Lois, you're not league material,

270. but you're enough like us to cause problems.

271. Keep 'em separated.

272. No! Let me out!

273. Don't do this!

274. - Watch Olsen. He could be trouble. Hmm.

275. Well, well. If it isn't Lois, Lois, and what's his name?

276. But there's something wrong with this picture.

277. All these Loises and not one Clark.

278. Got you.

279. It's him. Fire!

280. Ah!

281. What is... this?

282. - Clark! - No, Jimmy.

283. I thought we were Flamebros.

284. I'm sorry.

285. The Clark is neutralized.

286. Now for you, criminal—

287. What? Spread out!

288. He still has some of his illusion powers!

289. We don't stop until we find—

290. Our Lois is still aboard!

291. No!

292. Lewis, rig our gauntlets

293. to pierce the space between worlds.

294. We can't let Mxy get away.

295. I'll keep an eye on Superman.

296. Yes!

297. And Mxy lived happily ever—

298. You've got exactly ten seconds to turn this ship around.

299. Oh, come on!

300. I went through some really excellent lies

301. to avoid this exact scenario.

302. Caught by Participation Trophy Lois.

303. Coordinates requested,

304. League Headquarters.

305. Master Key required.

306. Wait. League Headquarters.

307. - You know where it is? - I don't.

308. But Lois Prime did.

309. Which is why I nabbed her recorder.

310. You're not gonna try to stop me.

311. The other Loises are hiding something from me about Superman.

312. So you're gonna take us to HQ

313. and I'm gonna find out what it is.

314. You met a legion of yourself,

315. and the first thing you did was suspect them of lying?

316. Lois Prime would've loved you.

317. And why is that?

318. Because she didn't trust anyone either,

319. which is why she kept a secret backup master key.

320. And now I know which Lois you are.

321. You're the fun one!

322. This place is beautiful.

323. Eh, it's a little pretentious, in my opinion.

324. I know I can't trust anything you say,

325. but I might as well ask,

326. what do you know about Clark?

327. Lots. But it'll be way more fun to watch you figure it out.

328. Here you go. The knowledge of the multiverse

329. at your fingertips.

330. This is a file?

331. How... How does... How does it work?

332. What am I supposed to do with this?

333. Ah!

334. Sorry, Fun Lois, It's been real—

335. But it's now time to take back what's mine.

336. I'm back!

337. Now, I'm going to need to get you off my back.

338. All of you.

339. - So...

340. Oh, look. It's the League of Loser Lanes

341. getting in my way.

342. - Lois. - No, he's got the hat!

343. I'm so glad you're okay.

344. I'm sorry I ruined our date.

345. No, Lois, this is my fault.

346. I wanted to give you a normal first date

347. without any Superman weirdness,

348. but I... I ruined it before it even started.

349. No, no, no. I'm sorry.

350. I've seen the files. I'm literally the worst Lois

351. - in the multiverse. No.

352. You would be better off with anyone else.

353. Lois...

354. You're the only Lois for me.

355. I'm annoying.

356. You're dedicated. I'm weird.

357. You're amazing.

358. I love going on adventures with you, Clark.

359. I love your brilliance.

360. I love your kindness.

361. I love...

362. I love...

363. Hey, not to be a bummer,

364. but could you stop making out before the Chaos God blows us up!

365. I have an idea!

366. Huh?

367. Enough of this.

368. Ha!

369. Ha!

370. Goodbye, Dependable Clark.

371. Hello, Mxyzptlk, God of Chaos.

372. You're not strong enough to best me.

373. for one last trick.

374. No, no.

375. Self-destruct, deactivated.

376. It's over, Mxy.

377. As for you three—

378. - Where did they go? - Sorry, Captain.

379. They grabbed a gauntlet while we were busy.

380. The computer's too fried to find their universe's coordinates again.

381. Ugh! Let's just put this one in confinement and call it a day.

382. Yes! You can always trust the Flamebro

383. to have your back.

384. What time is it?

385. 9:30 p.m.

386. - Oh, I'm...

387. Uh, better go. Bye.

388. So, uh, Lois, um...

389. It's too late for dinner, but I was thinking...

390. Treat me to coffee, Smallville?

391. Huh, how do you work?

392. What?

393. Have you figured it out yet?

394. Weren't you in jail?

395. I was! It didn't take.

396. Besides, your drama is too fun to miss.

397. Is this some kind of trick?

398. Oh, no. It's the truth.

399. Just like not every Lois wins a Pulitzer...

400. Not every Superman is good.

401. This just got interesting.

402. - What is it? - Sorry.

403. It'll be much more fun to watch you figure it out.

404. Ta-ta!