Ms. Pat Settles It 2x11

1. - Hey, y'all. I'm Ms. Pat.

2. - All rise.

3. - And I know the inside of a courtroom.

4. I'm a convicted felon with a GED.

5. Now I'm sitting on this side of the bench.

6. Y'all are killing me.

7. These are real cases with real money on the line.

8. And I'm bringing my own friends to court as my jury.

9. - What is this, "Looney Tunes"?

10. - Y'all may have started this mess,

11. but I'm going to settle it.

12. - I love this courtroom!

13. - All rise, 'cause court is back in session.

14. - She's the only judge that will steal

15. your heart and your money.

16. All rise for the come-up queen, Ms. Pat!

17. - You can be seated.

18. Hello, dear.

19. - Hey, Ms. Pat.

20. - You know the saying?

21. What Mama says goes, right?

22. - That's true.

23. - Today, I'm your mama, and I need y'all to do as I say.

24. - Let's go.

25. - Uh, bailiff, it's going to be a good one.

26. Let's get this stuff started.

27. - Let's go.

28. This is the case of Weaver versus Haynes.

29. - Plaintiff Taleiah Weaver is suing her sister, Precious,

30. for $3,000 to pay for her totaled

31. car that she claims Precious stole,

32. then drove into a ditch.

33. Defendant Precious Haynes says that Taleiah knew

34. she had the ride, and besides, the car acted up

35. and drove itself off the road.

36. There's no way this good sis is a bad driver or a thief.

37. - You swear to tell the whole truth

38. and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

39. - I do.

40. - Before we get started, I just want y'all to know that

41. this is a jury of my peers.

42. I use them however I want to.

43. But I will say this, they don't have no attention span, OK?

44. So don't be long-winded, because if you do that,

45. they're going to fall asleep.

46. All right.

47. So tell me why we're here, baby.

48. - I'm here today to sue my sister for $3,000 because she

49. took my car while I was asleep and ended

50. up crashing it in a ditch.

51. - What type of car was it?

52. - 2006 Volkswagen.

53. - OK.

54. All right, Precious, tell me about this car you stole.

55. - OK, first of all, if we being for real,

56. I don't feel like I owe her anything because the car

57. crashed me.

58. I didn't crash the car.

59. It was the car fault. Her car was all up and—

60. I'm sorry— but the car was up.

61. I'm talking about her alignment was off

62. and I was going around a curve.

63. The curve is curving right.

64. Her car is curving left.

65. The car drove us right into that ditch.

66. - You're going to apologize if you say did?

67. - That's how up it was.

68. - Did your car need an alignment?

69. - Yes.

70. But it did me good.

71. I was driving an hour back and forth to school.

72. I ain't never run off the road.

73. It normally only do that when you're really speeding.

74. - Did you even ask to borrow the car?

75. - Yeah, I woke her up out her sleep and asked her.

76. She said yes.

77. - She did not wake me up.

78. I woke up, and I end up going to my grandma room.

79. And I heard her on the phone with my grandma.

80. And my grandma was like, she crashed your car.

81. - OK.

82. Is you grandma here?

83. - Yes, ma'am.

84. - Come on up here, Grandma.

85. - Oh!

86. Oh!

87. - Grandma, you don't look like no grandma.

88. I'm a grandma.

89. - She looks tough.

90. - Can you tell us what happened on the day

91. when Precious stole Taleiah car?

92. - She called me on the phone, and she

93. said, Grandmamma, guess what.

94. I done crash Taleiah's car.

95. And Taleiah happened to walk in the room.

96. And then Taleiah say, she took my car without my permission.

97. I said, yeah, I can believe that.

98. - Oh!

99. - She been doin' it.

100. - I mean do Precious usually do stuff like that, mess

101. with other people property— - All the time.

102. —without— - Yes.

103. All the time.

104. - I have to lock my room.

105. She'll pop my lock off the door.

106. - Oh, what?

107. - Yeah, she does.

108. - She popped the lock!

109. - And get my stuff out my room, my gel for my hair.

110. Ya know I ain't got but a piece of hair.

111. - Thank you, Grandma.

112. You go have a seat.

113. Y'all got the same mama, same daddy?

114. - Yes.

115. - Y'all the only two kids? - No.

116. - No. It's 10 of us.

117. - Oh! - Ten?

118. Did you raise all ten of they asses?

119. - Yes.

120. Yes.

121. - Your grandma is awesome.

122. - But she over there, she's had to raise them.

123. - She's about to raise the gallery.

124. - Do you have pictures of the car in a ditch?

125. - Yes.

126. - OK.

127. Let me have the pictures, Kourtlyn.

128. - Oh! - Jesus.

129. - Thank you.

130. - I mean, you deep in the ditch.

131. - How fast were you going?

132. - 30.

133. - There's no way.

134. - It's in, like, a cornfield.

135. - All right, TS Madison, tell me what

136. you think about this case.

137. - Honey, this is a case of a crash test dummy, OK?

138. You most definitely could be a repo man.

139. Trust me, 'cause you could pop a lock

140. and steal a car in the middle of the night

141. while everybody's sleeping.

142. - Ray J.

143. - You know, I just think that you, you know, you living

144. on the edge, you got to just make sure you don't,

145. you know, you don't go over the edge like—

146. - She did. - She did already.

147. - Oh, yeah.

148. You did already.

149. In the ditch.

150. - Do you feel like any of this is your fault?

151. - No, I don't feel like none of it

152. is my fault because if she felt like my car had

153. so many problems before, then why did she want

154. to drive it so many times?

155. - OK.

156. Any final words from you?

157. - At the end of the day, settlement denied.

158. Her car—

159. - This ain't your court, Precious.

160. This ain't Grandma's house.

161. You ain't coming over here popping no locks.

162. All right.

163. I've come to my final decision.

164. And I'm ruling in favor of—

165. —the plaintiff, Taleiah Weaver.

166. Precious Haynes, you are ordered

167. to pay your sister $3,000.

168. It's not fair that you take other people's

169. property without asking them.

170. But you know who the real hero here is today?

171. Come on up here, Grandma.

172. - Grandma!

173. - I know exactly what you're going through

174. to raise other people's kids.

175. So for you, Grandmama, you my hero.

176. I want to give you $1,000 so you can buy you some liquor.

177. - Oh my goodness.

178. - I don't drink.

179. I'll get a strong Coca-Cola.

180. - There you go.

181. - A strong Coca-Cola, girl.

182. - You got to be sober to raise ten kids.

183. - Y'all hug y'all grandmama.

184. - There you go.

185. - I love that.

186. - All right.

187. Get y'all ass out of my courtroom.

188. - Thank you. - Thank you.

189. - It's not easy raising somebody else's kid.

190. I have a ten-year-old who say, are

191. you my mama or you my auntie?

192. I'm whatever the hell you want to call me, except fat.

193. - Can't nobody just do the booty like I do the booty.

194. - How many milliliters do you think I need?

195. - TS, can we do that at the same time?

196. The before-and-after package.

197. - Now that's a dream body booty.

198. - All right, jury.

199. I got to tell you, today I'm in a good mood.

200. And I'm feeling like I want to serve up some justice,

201. real and raw, baby.

202. - Serve it up raw!

203. - Serve it up, serve it up? - Serve 'em up.

204. - I like it raw.

205. They better bring some protection.

206. I mean objection—

207. —not protection.

208. Come on, bailiff.

209. Bring it in.

210. - This is the case of Ferdinand versus Tiquira.

211. - Plaintiff Dale Ferdinand is suing

212. his fiancée, Mikkie,

213. for the return of her engagement ring.

214. He claims she won't move to Miami to support

215. him in his business, so she has no business

216. wearing that ring.

217. - Assistant principal over here.

218. - Defendant Mikkie Tiquira says the bling

219. is hers to keep.

220. She has to put the Miami move on ice

221. since she's running a booming booty business of her own.

222. —but the truth, so help you God.

223. - Yes. - Yes.

224. - OK, Dale, why are you here today?

225. - Me and Mikkie have been together for three years now.

226. - Three years.

227. OK.

228. - I have proposed to her and she agreed to move

229. with me to Miami for work.

230. Now that it's getting closer to that time for us

231. to relocate, she's decided that she wants to stay here.

232. So my whole thing is, if you want to stay here,

233. you might as well just be single.

234. - Oh.

235. - Wow.

236. - So why are you suing?

237. - I'm suing because I want my ring back.

238. - For the engagement?

239. - Yeah, just give me back the ring.

240. She go her way. I go my way.

241. - Oh!

242. - All right, Mikkie, girl, go on,

243. tell me what happened with this whole—

244. - We met on my daughter's birthday.

245. She was turning three.

246. My daughter will be six June.

247. We've been together all this time.

248. I did say that I was going to move to Florida with him.

249. I'll admit that.

250. But things changed.

251. Like, I have a booming business.

252. My daughter is in a great private school.

253. I don't want to just start over,

254. like, I don't want to do that.

255. - Hmm.

256. Are you guys together?

257. Are you broken up?

258. What's the situation right now?

259. - If he move, we're not together.

260. If he stay, I feel like we could work it out.

261. But if he moves, then, like, I don't want to do

262. a long-distance relationship.

263. That's not what I signed up for.

264. - Dale, why did you want to move to Florida so bad?

265. - For work.

266. So what I do is, I help people legally outsmart the IRS

267. and pay close to zero dollars.

268. - Give me your number.

269. - Hey. - Yeah.

270. - Can I have a card? - Right now.

271. I need the help.

272. - Why not just do that here in Atlanta?

273. - I mean, I can.

274. But the majority of my clients are there.

275. - So you both have businesses, right?

276. - Yes. - Mm-hmm.

277. - What type of business do you have?

278. - We do body sculpting.

279. We do buttocks injections.

280. It's a booming hot business.

281. - She do got a booming business because I've tried to patron

282. at your business a few times.

283. - Can't nobody just do the booty like I do the booty.

284. - How many milliliters do you think I need?

285. - TS, can we do that at the same time?

286. The before-and-after package.

287. - Now that's a dream body booty.

288. - So, Dale, is your work more important

289. than your relationship?

290. - Can you ask that question in a different way?

291. - OK, I can.

292. I can ask it a different way.

293. Is your work more important than your relationship?

294. - It's not. It's the principle.

295. I'm hurt.

296. I'm hurt because I feel like I've been lied to.

297. - Can I see the ring?

298. - Sure.

299. - Oh, this is nice.

300. - Boo gets, yeah.

301. - It's nice.

302. - Thank you.

303. - What I don't understand, Dale, is why you want it back.

304. - Because I paid for it.

305. It's mine.

306. - But she can't take anything back she gave you.

307. - Exactly.

308. - All the good-good.

309. Mikkie, how long it been since you changed your mind?

310. - In the last kind of year is when I just been like,

311. you know what?

312. We're finally—

313. everything is secure, and he wants to uproot.

314. - Look, if you really in love, you'll work through this.

315. Don't you think?

316. - I think in certain situations, yeah.

317. However, not in this one.

318. - All right, jury.

319. Tell me what you think.

320. - The sad part about this whole situation

321. is the ring is controlling this entire relationship.

322. Because it's either she gives it back to him

323. and he goes about his business, or she keeps it

324. and he stays with her.

325. - I think that you guys are just being

326. petty, going back and forth.

327. That's— that keeps the relationship fun, you know.

328. So I think y'all are just having fun right now.

329. It's like foreplay.

330. - What?

331. What case are you watching?

332. - You know, I really don't think y'all should

333. get married 'cause neither one of y'all know

334. how to compromise. - No.

335. - Not at all.

336. - Let me give you an example.

337. I've been married for over 30 years.

338. I was a comedian here in Atlanta.

339. My husband worked at General Motors for 22 years.

340. We had to transfer to keep his job.

341. I could do comedy anywhere. - Right.

342. - So I had to go to Indiana for 15 years

343. and do comedy, 15 years in a place I hated every day.

344. - Wow.

345. - Well, when all of this popped off,

346. I said, now you got to follow my job.

347. - Yep.

348. - Because that's what a relationship is about.

349. Your home is where your family at.

350. - Yeah. - Right.

351. - Let me ask you something, Mikkie.

352. Do you still love him?

353. - Of course.

354. - You still love her?

355. - Yes, I still love Mikkie.

356. Aw.

357. - All right.

358. I've come to my final decision.

359. And I'm going to settle this once and for all.

360. I'm ruling in favor of—

361. the defendant.

362. OK, you're not getting your ring back.

363. And you don't have to give the ring back—

364. - OK.

365. —because this is a relationship.

366. If you want to walk away from the relationship

367. and leave this beautiful woman, then do so.

368. But you can't give a person a gift, then take it back.

369. And you such a smart guy.

370. If you can get over on the IRS, I know you can

371. understand my GED-talking ass.

372. So give her a hug.

373. I know you still want to.

374. - No Miami.

375. - He rub that booty.

376. - All right, y'all on TV. - Oh, my bad.

377. I'm sorry. I forgot.

378. - That settles it. - Thank you, Your Honor.

379. - Thank you, Your Honor. - Keep your ring, girl.

380. - I am. He ain't getting this back.

381. - You better marry her, ain't no how.

382. This girl got everybody going to her,

383. and she worked her behind off.

384. - She literally worked her behind on.

385. - Did you tell her you charged $4,600?

386. - Well, she told me to treat myself.

387. - You supposed to be on Bourbon Street,

388. throwing beads and showing titties,

389. not getting the damn Muppet mask.

390. - Hello, jury. - Hey.

391. - Good morning.

392. - Y'all ready to get this thing popping?

393. - Yes. - Let's do it.

394. - Let's get judgmental.

395. - Yes.

396. Bailiff, start, bailiffin'.

397. - This is the case of McKinney versus Thomas.

398. - Plaintiff Shayla McKinney is suing her best friend,

399. Whitney, for $4,600,

400. the amount that Whitney racked up on a hotel

401. bill using the credit card Shayla

402. loaned her after she lost her wallet to a pickpocket.

403. Defendant Whitney Thomas says they never discussed

404. a spending limit,

405. and she deserves to treat herself

406. on her best friend's dime.

407. She doesn't owe her a thing.

408. - Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

409. and nothing but the truth, so help you, God?

410. - Yes.

411. - So, Shayla, tell me why you here today.

412. - Ms. Pat, I'm here suing my friend Whitney because she

413. decided that she was going to show her ass in New Orleans

414. and charge $4,600 to my card.

415. So she calls, and she's like in complete shambles.

416. She's, like, somebody stole my wallet.

417. I don't have my card.

418. I don't have my ID.

419. I don't have anything.

420. So I'm just like, OK, fine.

421. Of course I'm going to put her somewhere where me

422. and her would stay together.

423. So of course, I picked the Ritz Carlton.

424. So it's like— but I didn't even know

425. it was that much until I got—

426. - Your monthly bill.

427. - Yeah, I'm like, did somebody swipe my card? $4,600?

428. - Oh!

429. - OK, let me hear your side of the story, Whitney.

430. - Well, I was in New Orleans.

431. And on Bourbon Street, you know how people get drunk

432. and they want to steal and stuff like that.

433. I was pickpocketed because there's

434. some thieving-ass people.

435. So I call her because this is my best girl.

436. I told her what happened.

437. I'm like, you know, I got pickpocketed.

438. I don't have my card. I don't have my ID.

439. She told me she'll call the hotel, put her card on file,

440. and fax in her ID, and they'll let me get the room.

441. She told me to treat myself.

442. She was like, I know you had a hard time.

443. You know, treat yourself. Have fun.

444. - So what did you do when you treated yourself?

445. - I went to the spa.

446. I had some liquor and food and stuff like that.

447. - What else? - A facial.

448. - And?

449. - I bought face cream that might have been $900.

450. - What? - What?

451. - $900 face cream?

452. - It's supposed to have crushed diamonds in it.

453. - Whitney, did you tell her you charged $4,600?

454. - Well, she told me to treat myself.

455. - To the pillows at the hotel under the covers,

456. to some sleep in a safe place.

457. That's one hell of a treat.

458. - She didn't say in specific—

459. she didn't say, hey, you have a budget.

460. - What did you expect her to spend?

461. - Um, what the room charge was.

462. - Can I get a receipt, please?

463. Do you have any receipts?

464. - Yes, ma'am, I do.

465. - So the room itself was $741.62 for three nights,

466. which came out to be $2,224.

467. - Yes.

468. Yes, ma'am.

469. - And all of these other ridiculous charges having—

470. - It's just an addition.

471. Exactly.

472. - You had a cabana, a spa, a deep massage, a sunset stone.

473. What was wrong with you?

474. - I had a long week.

475. - Do you make that kind of money

476. to make those types of purchases?

477. - Yeah.

478. - So why haven't you paid her back?

479. - I didn't do anything wrong.

480. She said treat yourself!

481. - Ooh!

482. - Plaintiff Shayla McKinney is suing her friend Whitney

483. for the $4,600 bill that Whitney

484. racked up when Shayla loaned her a credit

485. card for a hotel room.

486. But defendant Whitney Thomas says

487. they never discussed a spending limit,

488. so she doesn't owe a thing.

489. Ms. Pat is about to settle this dispute.

490. - So why haven't you paid her back?

491. - I didn't think it would be a problem.

492. We've been friends for ten years.

493. Like, literally, we spend money on each other.

494. Like, we never counted a favor.

495. - So I need you to tell me some of the things

496. you have done for her.

497. - I watched her kids the week before!

498. You don't know them.

499. - Watching the kids.

500. My kids are terrorists, though.

501. They are menaces to society.

502. - So what else have you done that

503. can take off of this $4,600?

504. - I buy stuff for her, too.

505. - Like what?

506. - I didn't know I was supposed to be keeping receipts.

507. I didn't know that this was a tit for tat thing.

508. I thought we wasn't having no money issues.

509. - Just give me three.

510. - Ah!

511. Bam!

512. - All right.

513. Exactly.

514. - You were in New Orleans.

515. You're supposed to be on Bourbon Street

516. throwing beads and showing titties,

517. not getting a damn Muppet mask.

518. It's ridiculous.

519. - Well, I don't show titties for beads.

520. - What you do for a living?

521. - I have businesses.

522. I also dance on the weekends.

523. I knew it.

524. I knew it. I knew it.

525. - So do you usually spend $900 on diamond-crushed face cream?

526. - I mean, it was a first for that.

527. - OK, DeRay.

528. - You thought of it like a credit card,

529. a friend credit card.

530. And now you know that if you need $5,600, she

531. ain't going to give it to you. One.

532. - I guess.

533. I guess the limit $4,500.

534. - It's time for you to pay.

535. You get money. We know.

536. We can tell.

537. And you need to give your friend back her money.

538. - What's your final thoughts?

539. - We honestly haven't really been that close since.

540. And it do hurt my feelings 'cause I really love her.

541. Like, I really just want to get my money back

542. so we can get back to normal.

543. I miss my friend.

544. - I'm not paying her.

545. She got to get it in blood.

546. - Shayla, you spotted Whitney after she got pickpocketed.

547. And she ran up your card in the room.

548. Whitney, you say Shayla told you to treat yourself.

549. So she treated herself like a queen.

550. - Yep.

551. - And she said she don't owe you nothing because she

552. has watched your kids.

553. I've come to my final decision, and I'm going to settle

554. this once and for all.

555. I'm ruling in favor of—

556. the plaintiff, Shayla.

557. Whitney, you're ordered to pay her $2,300,

558. half of what she's asking for, because she did say

559. she had you in a hotel room.

560. Ain't nobody told you go do all that other mess.

561. I settled it.

562. Y'all get out of here.

563. - Next time on "Ms. Pat Settles It"--

564. - You kicked me out the house before Christmas.

565. - What?

566. - I had to prove a point.

567. - I'd a grabbed you by your ear and flew you like a kite.

568. - Oh!

569. - Nobody believes you're rich when

570. you drive a 2012 Honda Civic.

571. - How do you know she drive a 2012 Honda Civic?

572. - She do got Civic written all over her face.

573. - What kind of car do you drive?

574. - A Honda Civic.

575. - I knew it.

576. - I'm suing my mother for $560.

577. - $560 ain't that much.

578. That's way cheaper than your mama Jheri curl.

579. - Ooh!