Ms. Pat Settles It 2x10

1. - Hey, y'all. I'm Ms. Pat.

2. - All rise.

3. - And I know the inside of a courtroom.

4. I'm a convicted felon with a GED.

5. Now I'm sitting on this side of the bench.

6. Y'all are killin' me.

7. These are real cases

8. with real money on the line.

9. And I'm bringing my own friends to court as my jury.

10. - What is this, "Looney Tunes"?

11. - Y'all may have started this mess.

12. But I'm going to settle it.

13. - I love this courtroom.

14. - All rise, 'cause court is back in session.

15. - She's the judge who bought her law degree in a back alley.

16. All rise for Ms. Pat.

17. - I didn't get no law degree in no back alley.

18. I ordered mine from Amazon.

19. Bailiff, get to bailiffin'.

20. - This is the case of Jenkins versus Brown.

21. - Plaintiff Keyz Jenkins is suing his cousin, Pierre,

22. for $2,500, which he claims is the cost of depreciation

23. for the ride Pierre was supposed to watch—

24. - Damn. —but wrecked while Keyz

25. was serving overseas.

26. Defendant Pierre Brown says he did wreck the car,

27. but he already paid for the repairs.

28. So the depreciation of the car isn't on him.

29. - To tell the truth, the whole truth, so help you God?

30. - I do.

31. - OK, before we get started, I just

32. want to let you all know this is a jury of my peers,

33. and I value their opinions because they are my friends—

34. today.

35. All right, Keyz, tell us why you're here today.

36. - Your Honor, I'm suing Pierre Brown for the $2,500.

37. Because while I was serving this great country, deployed

38. in the military, I left my vehicle to my cousin for him

39. to maintain while I'm gone

40. later, to find out, he went out, crashed the vehicle,

41. totaled it, and made my vehicle depreciate past

42. its normal depreciation value.

43. The value went from a $50,000 vehicle.

44. It was only worth $20,000 by the time I got back.

45. I'm only asking for 2,500.

46. From his portion of the depreciation, outside

47. of the normal depreciation, I find it's simple.

48. It's fair.

49. - What kind is it?

50. - It's a Chrysler 300S, 20-inch rims, red interior seats,

51. dual panoramic roof.

52. Ooh.

53. I call it a cocaine.

54. Like, I wish it was here right now.

55. You know, you could have got in with me.

56. You would have felt that energy.

57. - But I'm here.

58. - You talk about this car like it's good sex.

59. - Right.

60. - Pierre, tell us why you're here today.

61. - I'm here for a misunderstanding.

62. My cousin doesn't know what happened

63. the night of the accident.

64. I think he's more concerned with the vehicle itself

65. than what actually happened to me.

66. I paid to fix the vehicle.

67. So then I feel like I'm not responsible for anything

68. that happened after that.

69. - What happened to the car?

70. - Um, I was out one night.

71. We was driving.

72. It's a dark road.

73. And I look right, and the whole street just disappeared.

74. It was a hard left.

75. We hopped the curb.

76. We slid down the hill.

77. We ended up right in front of somebody's front lawn.

78. - Oh, shit.

79. - I felt like I was responsible.

80. - Mm-hmm.

81. - So I paid the money to get the car fixed.

82. - How much did you pay to get the car fixed?

83. - I do have a copy of the repair bill, Your Honor.

84. - Oh, let me have a copy of the repair bill.

85. - It was about 2,500.

86. I had a good friend.

87. - So he got the tire fixed, the wheel

88. aligned, front axle, the bumper, and then

89. he paid for the labor.

90. - Which made it drivable— therefore, not being totaled—

91. which is why I feel like I'm not responsible for paying

92. the other damages.

93. - Is there a picture of the car damaged?

94. - Yeah.

95. I'm glad you said that, Your Honor.

96. - I think you're glad I said a lot of things.

97. - Wow.

98. - You knocked the veneers off this car.

99. - The front bumper is on the top of the windshield.

100. - Hey, he took that car from cocaine to crystal meth.

101. - How'd you even find out he wrecked it,

102. if he had it fixed before you got back?

103. - When I got in the vehicle, it didn't drive the same.

104. You know, like, when you turn and you're hearing

105. noises as the car is turning?

106. That ain't supposed to do that with a brand-new vehicle.

107. Afterwards, I told him, hey, man,

108. something ain't right here.

109. He then told me, yeah, man, one day—

110. boom, boom, bam— but it was a minor incident—

111. incident.

112. - OK.

113. - "I took care of it."

114. - And so when you took it to a "shop"--

115. - Mm-hmm.

116. —and they looked at it—

117. - Mm-hmm.

118. They was like, man, there's front-end damage.

119. The timing belt wasn't working right.

120. The engine was damaged.

121. They was just saying all this stuff that, you know,

122. they're looking at me to fix.

123. - So, Pierre, why did you try to hide it?

124. Why didn't you just call him wherever he was at

125. and say, look, man, I wrecked the car,

126. but I'm going to get it fixed?

127. - The plan was to talk to him once he got back.

128. And then I was going to tell him.

129. He was so happy about seeing the vehicle

130. and jumping in there, I couldn't even get a chance

131. to tell him what happened. He, "Give me my keys."

132. He wanted to go drive off.

133. - Pierre, do you feel like you owe your cousin any money?

134. - Not at all because I got the car fixed

135. after I had the accident.

136. - I have a couple of questions.

137. The court— we've all wondering.

138. So are you all single?

139. - Ain't nobody asking them.

140. What the hell does that have to do with—

141. - Because— but, listen, you can get high

142. off of more than just cocaine.

143. That's all I'm saying.

144. - Can you shut your ass down?

145. I need you to be quiet.

146. Ooh.

147. - Sorry.

148. - I know he owes me for it, because when I got

149. it appraised, it was only worth $20,000 by the time I got back.

150. Granted, vehicles depreciate after a year or so.

151. It's too easy. - Especially.

152. - Especially.

153. As soon as you drive from the lot, boom, $5,000, right?

154. Off the lot— easy.

155. But a $20,000 drop?

156. Nah.

157. - How long was you overseas?

158. - I was overseas for a year, Your Honor.

159. - So if you was overseas for a year,

160. cocaine ain't going to be 100% pure like you left her.

161. All right, I'ma go on over here to my jury.

162. Come on, Chris.

163. - You don't deserve anything.

164. - Chris, I love how you tell Black people,

165. "You don't deserve shit."

166. - We need a little bit more evidence.

167. If you have any photos—

168. like, nude.

169. OK, sorry.

170. - Keyz, anything you want to tell

171. me before I make my decision?

172. - All I asked was to be compensated.

173. And then after that, we swear we could be cousins again.

174. - All right, what about you?

175. - I felt like I did my part.

176. I don't know what else he want me to do at this point.

177. Every time I ask him to go out, oh,

178. are you going to pay for me to get in?

179. You know you still owe me that 2,500.

180. - All right.

181. I've come to my final decision, and I'm going to settle

182. this once and for all.

183. I'm going to rule in the favor of—

184. —the defendant.

185. - Can I get a— a retrial?

186. - No, ain't no retrial.

187. You can't prove that accident made your car depreciate.

188. It's an American-made car, so it's

189. going to depreciate double because whoever

190. made it was drunk.

191. But I do hope you put this relationship back together.

192. All right, I settled it.

193. Bye.

194. - Come on.

195. Come here.

196. - Oh. - Aww.

197. - That's so cold.

198. - I mean, I could hug you.

199. - We going to get you a man.

200. - Thank you.

201. - So was you there when your mother-in-law did the photo

202. shoot for your ex-wife?

203. - I was there when they made the verbal agreement.

204. - Have Vivian ever done a photo shoot for you?

205. - She always offering to take pictures of this man.

206. - Girl, your ex-husband about to be your stepdaddy.

207. - How y'all doing, Jury?

208. - Hey, Pat.

209. I like your lashes.

210. They look good.

211. - Well, baby, you know I be lashin',

212. but I'm going to give you a good tongue

213. lashin' if you interrupt me while I got

214. these people in here today.

215. All right.

216. Let's get the party started.

217. - This is the case of Mobley versus Mobley.

218. You may now enter.

219. - Plaintiff and photographer, Vivian Mobley,

220. is suing her daughter, Lyz, for $450

221. after Lyz ordered a social media photo shoot but never

222. paid up once it was finished.

223. Defendant Lyz Mobley says she only saw a few of the snaps,

224. and they all sucked.

225. She doesn't owe a thing for Mom's shoddy shoot.

226. - So help you God?

227. - I do. - All right, Vivian.

228. Tell us why you're here today.

229. - Well, I'm here today because I'm suing my daughter Elyzabeth

230. for a photo shoot for $450.

231. She asked me to take her pictures.

232. She said she wanted me to treat her like a client.

233. So I said, OK, well, clients pay.

234. - Ooh, OK, OK.

235. - I took her pictures.

236. I sent her where I felt that she needed to see.

237. So we're here today so I can get my $450.

238. - What was the photo shoot for?

239. - So she can post some pictures on social media.

240. - OK.

241. And, Lyz, so why are you here?

242. - So she did take pictures for me.

243. She gave me, like, three photos.

244. Personally, I really didn't like them that much,

245. and I feel like she didn't deliver.

246. So I don't want to pay her.

247. And I feel like she's just being real shady right now.

248. - How many pictures did you take off her, Mom?

249. - About 400 pictures of her.

250. You know, if you're wanting the rest of the pictures,

251. you want to see more, pay me a deposit.

252. - See, this is a prime example where there should be a law

253. that we can stun-gun our kids.

254. - Exactly.

255. - Can I see these pictures.

256. - Yes, ma'am.

257. - Oh, come on, queen.

258. You look cute.

259. Got y'all a little money.

260. - These pictures look nice.

261. This picture look nice to me.

262. Look at you.

263. - I look like a gangster.

264. - You and your mama look like Snoop

265. Dogg at two different ages.

266. Was there anyone else there when

267. this whole thing was going on?

268. - Yes, my son-in-law, Rodney.

269. - Oh, come on up here, Rodney.

270. - Oh, she got a witness.

271. - He's a liar. - Tell me your name.

272. - Rodney Flagg.

273. - And how do you know these two ladies?

274. - My ex-wife—

275. - What?

276. —and my mother-in-law.

277. - Oh.

278. - Something is wrong when your ex is taking your mama's side.

279. - They team up against me.

280. - We don't team up against— she's a Gemini.

281. - I'm in the same situation.

282. I have a son, but I like my daughter-in-law better.

283. - Exactly.

284. - So was you there when your mother-in-law did the photo

285. shoot for your ex-wife?

286. - I was there when they made the verbal agreement

287. that she would pay her.

288. - Have Vivian ever done a photo shoot for you?

289. - She's always offering to take pictures of this man

290. because he do stuff.

291. - I mean, but he's so beautiful.

292. I mean, he's like a model.

293. - Exactly.

294. - Girl, it looked like your ex-husband

295. about to be your stepdaddy.

296. - Yeah.

297. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

298. I don't have a crush on my son-in-law.

299. - Thank you, Rodney.

300. You can go have a seat.

301. TS Madison, help me out with this one.

302. - You told her to treat you like a client.

303. Why didn't you watermark the pictures

304. and allow her to see all those pictures, you know,

305. from every look that she wanted to get?

306. - Exactly.

307. - Vivian, has this situation affected your relationship

308. with your daughter?

309. - There's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for my daughter.

310. I love her unconditionally.

311. - Mm.

312. - I just feel like, at the end of the day, I'm her daughter.

313. No, I have not paid her.

314. But in other ways, she has received a form of, I guess

315. you would say, like, "payment"

316. just out of love.

317. - OK.

318. I've come to my final decision, and I'm going to settle

319. this once and for all.

320. I'm ruling in favor of—

321. —the plaintiff, Vivian.

322. - Yes.

323. - Lyz, I'm ordering you to pay your mother $225.

324. - Huh?

325. - Huh?

326. And the reason why you're getting $225 because that's

327. a deposit.

328. - OK.

329. - You should have gotten a contract, gotten a deposit.

330. Everything you do with a regular person,

331. you should have did with her.

332. - OK.

333. - Your Honor, I'm going to give her the 450.

334. - Oh, bless your heart. - Ohh.

335. - She love me, Your Honor.

336. - Oh my god.

337. - I'm proud of you.

338. While we're back here putting things together,

339. would you like for your ex to give you a hug?

340. - No.

341. - What?

342. - Get out of my courtroom, being all crude—

343. Snoop Dogg, Snoop Dogg Jr.

344. - 52 and fabulous.

345. - Y'all know something going on with that mom and that boy.

346. - 100%.

347. - Hey, she a Snoop cougar.

348. - I'm here suing my nephew.

349. - Karlous, you and this man got the same beard.

350. - No, we don't.

351. - It resembles.

352. - Not even close.

353. - How my jury doing? - Good.

354. - We all right.

355. How you doing, Ms. Pat?

356. - I'm going to Walmart after this.

357. They got blend ready, and I never wear a bra at the Walmart

358. because everybody in Walmart never have on bras.

359. - She got two hams in the front of her shirt.

360. - Oh, that's my chest, Your Honor.

361. Come on, bailiff, get to bailiffin'.

362. - This is the case of Green versus Pickett.

363. - Plaintiff Brandi Green is suing her nephew for $900

364. after she hired him to bleach her hair,

365. but he fried her bald.

366. Defendant and makeup artist, Skyren Pickett,

367. says Brandi knew he didn't do hair when she hired him.

368. He didn't botch the bleach, and he ain't paying

369. his auntie a damn thing.

370. - Raise your right hand for me.

371. Can you raise your right hand for me?

372. You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

373. and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

374. - I do. - I do.

375. - Karlous, you and this man got the same beard.

376. - No, we don't.

377. Similar.

378. It resembles.

379. - Not even close.

380. - So, Brandi, tell me why you're here today.

381. - I'm here suing my nephew Skyren for $900 for wigs

382. that I had to buy because he made me go bald.

383. - How did he make you go bald?

384. - He was dyeing my hair, like he dyed that beard over there.

385. I don't know about the beauty stuff.

386. I just let people do it, you know,

387. that know what they're doing.

388. I was waiting until whenever he was supposed to rinse it out,

389. and my hair just started coming out.

390. - You tried to dye your hair, and your hair died, huh?

391. - Oh, it died.

392. It died.

393. - OK, Skyren, let me hear your side of the story.

394. - Your Honor, I'm a professional makeup

395. artist and a good one.

396. I made it very clear to her that I don't mess with hair.

397. She was very adamant about me doing her hair because she

398. had somewhere to go.

399. And I told her, like, I can try, but, you know.

400. - Look at his chin.

401. You sat in somebody's chair that

402. looked like a whole grown-ass leprechaun.

403. - I was just about to ask him where the gold was.

404. - So what did you do when you got up and you

405. were bald-headed like him?

406. - I was hollering, screaming, crying because I have very

407. long, natural, thick hair.

408. - Do you have any pictures of your hair?

409. - Yes, ma'am.

410. I have before-and-after.

411. - Let me see it, girl.

412. This is your natural hair, OK.

413. How much hair did you lose?

414. - It kind of fell out, like, in patches.

415. Look at the sink.

416. - Did you tell everybody that he burned your hair?

417. - Yes, I did because I want to know

418. is anybody else hair missing?

419. - So how did he act when he saw your social media post?

420. - He showed up to my house.

421. - Wow.

422. - Why was you out there acting a fool?

423. - People are calling me, talking about something.

424. You don't ever get into the hair industry.

425. We're never going to hire you.

426. You can't do nobody's hair.

427. Like, she's telling people all this stuff about me

428. because she asked me for a favor.

429. - Well, you left her there to fend for herself.

430. - Yeah.

431. Yeah, you son of a bleach.

432. - You got any proof?

433. - It's a video of him on Ring bell.

434. - Oh, Ring bell, Lord.

435. - Uh-oh. - Uh-uh.

436. - I helped you.

437. - He outside on the porch, like,

438. so where are the Lucky Charms?

439. - Yeah, he's like a leprechaun.

440. - I didn't have to do your hair. .

441. - Uh-oh. - Uh-uh.

442. - Uh-uh.

443. - He disappeared and jump my fence.

444. That's my backyard.

445. - I did your hair, and I told you straight up,

446. I don't know how to do hair.

447. I told you that.

448. - OK, enough of that.

449. I would have called the police.

450. - Yeah.

451. - You went up there acting a fool.

452. - Have you ever tried to dye anybody else hair?

453. - No.

454. Absolutely not.

455. - I object.

456. He lying.

457. - My clerks have done some digging

458. for someone who says they'd been

459. your client before for hair.

460. - Hmm.

461. - And he's here today.

462. - Uh-oh.

463. - They better have some hair on their head.

464. - Come on in, sir.

465. - Brandi Green is suing her nephew, Skyren, for $900

466. for torching her edges.

467. But Skyren says Brandi knew he wasn't a hairstylist

468. and she shouldn't have asked him in the first place.

469. Ms. Pat's about to straighten out this hairy situation.

470. - My clerks have done some digging

471. for someone who says they've been

472. your client before for hair.

473. - Oh, what? - Oh, man.

474. - Oh, no. - Hmm.

475. - Who else had he tried to dye?

476. Tell it.

477. - Come on in, sir.

478. - You are a liar.

479. - Do you recognize this man?

480. - I've seen him before.

481. - Well, state your name.

482. - Marquise Ellis.

483. - And your relationship to these people?

484. - Well, I know Skyren because he's my girlfriend's brother.

485. - Did Skyren ever do your hair?

486. - Yes, he tried to dye it.

487. - And what happened to it?

488. - It fell out as he was dying it.

489. - Oh my—

490. - You have proof?

491. - Got the hairs in the bag.

492. - Oh, he got the hair in the bag.

493. - Not the hair in a bag like a dime sack?

494. - Oh, he got his little dreads.

495. - I tried to relax his hair.

496. - You put it to sleep.

497. - I thought you said you ain't never dyed nobody hair before,

498. and then you relaxing.

499. That's an even harsher chemical than dye.

500. - Thank you.

501. You can go have a seat.

502. So how many wigs have you had to prep?

503. - About nine.

504. - Is the wigs here?

505. - Oh, yes, all of them.

506. - OK, go get the wigs.

507. - Let's meet the wigs.

508. - Them is cute wigs, though.

509. - How much you spend on these things?

510. - About $100.

511. - You paid $100 for all of them?

512. - No, each.

513. - I just don't think these wigs are worth $900.

514. I just don't believe it.

515. I got one word, though, for you, Ms. Pat—

516. synthetic.

517. - Whether she thought you could do it or not,

518. or you thought she could do it or not, when you started it,

519. you took responsibility.

520. So I'm sorry, but you just going to have

521. to go home and pay for that.

522. - You look at his beard and decide

523. you wanted anything done that he did,

524. you deserve whatever you got.

525. - Ain't no way you looked at his beard and was like,

526. you dyed the hell out of that.

527. - So any final words you want to say to me, Brandi,

528. before I can make a decision?

529. - Stay away from Skyren because he slay faces and fry edges.

530. - OK, Skyren, anything you would like to say?

531. - I would like to say I've never claimed to be

532. a professional hairstylist, but y'all can

533. holler at me with the face.

534. - OK.

535. This was not an easy one for me.

536. Brandi, you trusted your nephew to dye your hair.

537. And he burnt your hair the hell out.

538. You spent $900 on plastic wigs to keep your shit covered.

539. Skyren, you know you can't dye nobody hair because you

540. messed up the other boy hair.

541. I'm gonna tell you now, you need to stop because you're

542. going to make the wrong Black woman hair fall out,

543. and she going to beat you till your hair grow back.

544. So with that said, I've come to my final decision.

545. And I'm going to settle this once and for all.

546. I'm ruling in favor of—

547. —the defendant, Skyren Pickett.

548. Brandi, you don't get anything.

549. Let me tell you why.

550. Because you went over there and let somebody

551. who dyed your hair, who didn't have no type of

552. hair experience.

553. You did that to yourself.

554. But you're a liar.

555. What you're doing in this Black community is blasphemousous.

556. - And it's blasphemous. - Yeah, that.

557. - It's both of those.

558. - Yeah.

559. With that said, I just settled it.

560. Get out of my courtroom, leprechaun.

561. Magically delicious.

562. Please get them wigs out of here.

563. They're making me itch.

564. - Next time on "Ms. Pat Settles It"--

565. - She took my car and ended up crashing it.

566. Settlement denied— her car—

567. - This ain't your court.

568. You ain't coming over here poppin' no locks.

569. Did you tell her you charge $4,600?

570. - She told me to treat myself.

571. - You're supposed to be on Bourbon Street

572. throwing beads and showing titties,

573. not getting a damn Muppet mask.

574. - Can't nobody just do the booty like I do the booty.

575. - How many milliliters do you think I need?

576. - TS, can we do that at the same time?

577. The before-and-after package.