1. Drive on the left and ride on the lift.Copy !req
2. It's Bob and David.Copy !req
3. Thank you.Copy !req
4. Thank you, thanks for coming out.Copy !req
5. Oh, wow.Copy !req
6. Hello, everyone.Copy !req
7. Well you have joined us
on a very special occasion.Copy !req
8. It is our blooper night.Copy !req
9. That's right,Copy !req
10. With the help of the bloopertron 3,000,Copy !req
11. We'll take a look at some
moments from Mr. Show.Copy !req
12. That didn't go quite the way
we wanted them to.Copy !req
13. Let's look at our first clip from a show.Copy !req
14. Where Bob got a little too upset.Copy !req
15. Oh, man.Copy !req
16. Okay.Copy !req
17. Did you see your face?Copy !req
18. Okay, okay.Copy !req
19. Now in the next clip,
a certain David Cross...Copy !req
20. Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
21. Let's watch that again.Copy !req
22. Backwards, backwards!Copy !req
23. Alright, c'mon, cut it out!Copy !req
24. That is enough!Copy !req
25. You always have to push
everything, you know?Copy !req
26. You want to see a blooper, huh?Copy !req
27. Yeah, we got dressed up and everything.Copy !req
28. Alright, alright, smart mouth.Copy !req
29. Sherry, roll that thing.Copy !req
30. You know.Copy !req
31. 'Cause I'm a superstar...Copy !req
32. In a superstar machineCopy !req
33. taking it to the stars.Copy !req
34. Oh, emotion lotion.Copy !req
35. How did you get that?Copy !req
36. Emotion lotion.Copy !req
37. What the?Copy !req
38. Alright, alright. Okay.Copy !req
39. Sherry, why don't you roll that blooperCopy !req
40. I was showing around the office earlier.Copy !req
41. Hey, man... you wanna party?Copy !req
42. Hey, Bob, Bob.Copy !req
43. Hey man, umm...Copy !req
44. So, do you still like to party?Copy !req
45. Okay! I was just out of college,Copy !req
46. I didn't know what
I wanted to do with my life.Copy !req
47. You think that's embarrassing?Copy !req
48. Roll that other, c'mon, roll it!Copy !req
49. Make it alrightCopy !req
50. emotion lotion.Copy !req
51. That's the same thing,
you already showed that.Copy !req
52. I got hours of that, man.Copy !req
53. Alright.Copy !req
54. Okay, okay, you know what?Copy !req
55. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
56. I was not gonna do this.Copy !req
57. I was not gonna do this.Copy !req
58. Sherry, roll that other blooper.Copy !req
59. Look.Copy !req
60. I'm sorry, Mr. And Mrs. Odenkirk,Copy !req
61. It's simply too late to have an abortion.Copy !req
62. Your son is four Years Old.Copy !req
63. Mommy, what's a gagortion?Copy !req
64. Ultimate blooper!Copy !req
65. You got me!Copy !req
66. Okay, we tallied your votes,Copy !req
67. And the top blooper of the night.Copy !req
68. Is either "upsy daisy",Copy !req
69. "What's a gagortion",
or "secret superstar".Copy !req
70. David...Copy !req
71. And the winner is...Copy !req
72. "Secret superstar"!Copy !req
73. Taking it to the stars.Copy !req
74. Emotion lotion.Copy !req
75. Yeah.Copy !req
76. I'm a superstarCopy !req
77. in a superstar machineCopy !req
78. taking it to the starsCopy !req
79. emotion lotion.Copy !req
80. I didn't know anyone was...Copy !req
81. Have you been there the whole time?Copy !req
82. Let me tell you something, kid.Copy !req
83. You got the goods.Copy !req
84. Really?Copy !req
85. I'm a superstar in a superstar machineCopy !req
86. taking it to the starsCopy !req
87. emotion lotionCopy !req
88. superstarCopy !req
89. I'm a superstar machineCopy !req
90. taking it to the starsCopy !req
91. emotion lotion.Copy !req
92. I'm a sushi bar in a sushi bar machineCopy !req
93. taking all I can eatCopy !req
94. just for the halibutCopy !req
95. sushi bar in a sushi bar machineCopy !req
96. in a superstar machine.Copy !req
97. Hey mike, it's glen, I'm back.Copy !req
98. Yeah.Copy !req
99. So listen, it's like I'm saying, alright?Copy !req
100. The guy who played the dad
on "Lassie" invented LSDCopy !req
101. Dude, fucking no way, man.Copy !req
102. I'll bet you anything.Copy !req
103. I'll bet you two hours worth of phone sex.Copy !req
104. Two hours worth of phone sex?Copy !req
105. Okay, you're on.Copy !req
106. Okay, I'm on the web.Copy !req
107. I'm at the lassie site.Copy !req
108. Here's his bio.Copy !req
109. Oh, shit! You're right!Copy !req
110. I told you, man, alright.Copy !req
111. Two hours worth of phone sex.Copy !req
112. Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
113. Cool, I'm calling now.Copy !req
114. Hey, that's a little more
information than I needed.Copy !req
115. Hey, buddy. I got that...Copy !req
116. Yeah, glen Peterson.Copy !req
117. I want to talk to the hottest,
horniest slut you got.Copy !req
118. Hey, mike? Call me "Thor".Copy !req
119. Mike, what are you doing, man?Copy !req
120. Well, you know, phone sex.Copy !req
121. Yeah, I'm not gonna do it.Copy !req
122. Call one of those numbers
and send me the bill.Copy !req
123. Glen, glen, I don't want your money.Copy !req
124. Well then, forget about it.Copy !req
125. Dude! You lost the bet!Copy !req
126. Now I'm calling back,Copy !req
127. So disguise your voice, you dumb dick.Copy !req
128. Horny slut hotline,Copy !req
129. This is peppermint speaking.Copy !req
130. Hello, Peterson, is that you?Copy !req
131. Oh, Mrs. Cooper, I'm sorry,Copy !req
132. I was just having a josh there.Copy !req
133. Well, I hope so.Copy !req
134. Get the Evans file on my desk
before you go home tonight.Copy !req
135. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
136. Glen Peterson.Copy !req
137. Hey, it's Thor.Copy !req
138. Hey mike, what the fuck, man?Copy !req
139. You were gonna call right
back, you almost got me fired!Copy !req
140. I wanted to give you time
to get into character.Copy !req
141. Listen, mike... Call me "Thor".Copy !req
142. Let me see if one of
our operators is free.Copy !req
143. Hey...Copy !req
144. This is peppermint.Copy !req
145. Yeah? Hey, well,Copy !req
146. I got my pants down, peppermint,Copy !req
147. What do you think of Thor's hammer?Copy !req
148. Terrific.Copy !req
149. Yeah? What do you want to do to it?Copy !req
150. Oh, I want to do all sorts of
naughty things with it.Copy !req
151. It's just so big, though.Copy !req
152. It's kind of scary.Copy !req
153. I just love working
this big monster of yours.Copy !req
154. Okay, okay.Copy !req
155. Okay, glen.Copy !req
156. You through already?Copy !req
157. Fuck yeah, man, you should see all this.Copy !req
158. An hour and 57 minutes
more you owe me.Copy !req
159. I want that file. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
160. Hey.Copy !req
161. Hello, this is Thor.Copy !req
162. Jesus, Thor, don't you take a break?Copy !req
163. Hold on.Copy !req
164. Hey, this is peppermint.Copy !req
165. Did you miss me?Copy !req
166. Hey, peppermint, yeah.Copy !req
167. Do you feel like being
bad with peppermint?Copy !req
168. So bad, so bad.Copy !req
169. Hold on, I got another call.Copy !req
170. Stay on the line.Copy !req
171. Hey, glen Peterson.Copy !req
172. Hey man, it's me, mike.Copy !req
173. I just wanted to say,
man, you were amazing.Copy !req
174. Mike, I got you holding on the other line.Copy !req
175. That ain't me.Copy !req
176. Shit! Hold on.Copy !req
177. Alright, whoever this is, fuck off.Copy !req
178. Hey man, c'mon, you already
got me so worked up.Copy !req
179. You're good.Copy !req
180. Really?Copy !req
181. Yeah, really.Copy !req
182. I mean, you say all the right things.Copy !req
183. Listen, could I talk to peppermint again?Copy !req
184. Well, yeah.Copy !req
185. Hey, this is peppermint.Copy !req
186. I hear my favorite customer
has an attack of the hornies.Copy !req
187. Peppermint's here to make it all better.Copy !req
188. Peterson!Copy !req
189. That is it, pervert,
get your shit and get out!Copy !req
190. You're just jealous.Copy !req
191. 'Cause I'm more of a woman
than you'll ever be.Copy !req
192. Hey guys,Copy !req
193. If you're in the mood
for some steamy sex chat,Copy !req
194. There's only one glen Peterson.Copy !req
195. When I first heard.Copy !req
196. That glen was a dude and not a chick,Copy !req
197. I wanted to call a chick.Copy !req
198. But glen's a dude's dude.Copy !req
199. Who really knows
what dudes want to hear.Copy !req
200. When they're imagining
talking to a chick.Copy !req
201. How's that? I don't know.Copy !req
202. You gotta make me think
that this guy thinks.Copy !req
203. That this glen guy is the
hottest chick in the world.Copy !req
204. So maybe an English accent?Copy !req
205. Yes.Copy !req
206. Next.Copy !req
207. Good luck.Copy !req
208. Denny Woodkin?Copy !req
209. Yeah, right here.Copy !req
210. Great, hi.Copy !req
211. This way. This is norm, the producer.Copy !req
212. Hi.Copy !req
213. I'm Denny Woodkin.Copy !req
214. And the monologue that
I'll be performing now.Copy !req
215. Is from the play entitled the audition,Copy !req
216. By Gavin Hollerwood.Copy !req
217. Well, how apropos.Copy !req
218. You can start any time.Copy !req
219. Okay.Copy !req
220. Can I use this chair?Copy !req
221. Sure.Copy !req
222. No, I started it.Copy !req
223. That's part of the monologue.Copy !req
224. I thought you were asking us to...Copy !req
225. No, I was doing it.Copy !req
226. Can I use this chair?Copy !req
227. Yeah.Copy !req
228. No, no, no.Copy !req
229. One to one.Copy !req
230. I'm sorry.Copy !req
231. Let me...Copy !req
232. Yeah, start again.Copy !req
233. Can I use this chair?Copy !req
234. Seriously, can I use it?Copy !req
235. Hello!Copy !req
236. I need it...Copy !req
237. For the audition.Copy !req
238. Could somebody answer me?Copy !req
239. Jesus, talk to me!Copy !req
240. Yeah, it's fine. No!Copy !req
241. Okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
242. We'll get it this time.Copy !req
243. Can I start again?Copy !req
244. Please do. Can I use this chair?Copy !req
245. Yea...Copy !req
246. Seriously, can I use it?Copy !req
247. Hello.Copy !req
248. I need it for the audition.Copy !req
249. Could somebody answer me?Copy !req
250. Jesus, talk to me!Copy !req
251. I'm a human being up here,
for god's sakes.Copy !req
252. Don't just look at each other,
answer me. Can I use it?!Copy !req
253. Yes. No!Copy !req
254. That's in there?Copy !req
255. "Don't just look at each other"?Copy !req
256. Exactly when we did it?Copy !req
257. Yes. It's a good play.Copy !req
258. I guess so.Copy !req
259. I mean, it comes from experience.Copy !req
260. From a real place.Copy !req
261. Okay.Copy !req
262. Okay.Copy !req
263. I'll start again.Copy !req
264. Can I use this chair?Copy !req
265. Seriously, can I use it?Copy !req
266. Hello.Copy !req
267. I need it for the audition.Copy !req
268. Could somebody answer me?Copy !req
269. Jesus, talk to me.Copy !req
270. I mean, I'm a human being
up here, for god's sakes.Copy !req
271. Don't just look at each other,
answer me! Can I use it?Copy !req
272. God!Copy !req
273. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
274. You know...Copy !req
275. You guys sit there.Copy !req
276. You in your stupid designer tie,Copy !req
277. And you in your dumbAss glasses.Copy !req
278. And imported bottle of water.Copy !req
279. Sitting looking down at
the lowly actor on stage.Copy !req
280. Getting off on your power trip.Copy !req
281. Well you know what? Fuck you.Copy !req
282. I don't need to be in
your dumbAss sitcom,Copy !req
283. It's fucking retarded, it's not funny.Copy !req
284. I read it, it's never gonna work.Copy !req
285. Fuck you guys, fuck you.Copy !req
286. Fuck you.Copy !req
287. Whoa. That was weird.Copy !req
288. What was it?Copy !req
289. End scene.Copy !req
290. Great! No!Copy !req
291. God!Copy !req
292. Let me start again. Can I use this chair?Copy !req
293. Kid, kid, kid! We've seen enough.Copy !req
294. You got the goods.Copy !req
295. Really?Copy !req
296. Kids and dadsCopy !req
297. dads and kidsCopy !req
298. you and me, a family treeCopy !req
299. who would have knownCopy !req
300. yes, who would've knewCopy !req
301. that kid would grow up to be you.Copy !req
302. What the heck? Turn off that TV!Copy !req
303. Turn off that... Did you hear me, mister?Copy !req
304. Turn off the TV,Copy !req
305. And go get up and help with dinner.Copy !req
306. Do it! Go!Copy !req
307. Alright, alright.Copy !req
308. No!Copy !req
309. He got me.Copy !req
310. Turn it off, dale, c'mon!Copy !req
311. Okay, alright.Copy !req
312. I'm sick and tired.Copy !req
313. How many times have I
asked you to turn it off?Copy !req
314. I asked you like 20 different times.Copy !req
315. Shut up and turn it off.Copy !req
316. We're like any family.Copy !req
317. We fight but we love each other.Copy !req
318. We just have dreams for our little one.Copy !req
319. We travel around,
do the circuit, you know.Copy !req
320. Some women, they try to force
their babies into this.Copy !req
321. And I don't think that's right.Copy !req
322. Our baby wants to do it.Copy !req
323. Our baby loves
the glamour and attention.Copy !req
324. Yeah, our baby's already
won a scholarship.Copy !req
325. To miss lily's finishing school.Copy !req
326. What's that?Copy !req
327. That's a school where
they teach you how to finish.Copy !req
328. Stuff.Copy !req
329. Okay, let's welcome our next contestant.Copy !req
330. In the pageant.Copy !req
331. See, what I can do with these fetuses.Copy !req
332. Is literArily a miracle, okay?Copy !req
333. I can surgically apply make Up,Copy !req
334. False eyelashes, whatever.Copy !req
335. Liposuction baby fat.Copy !req
336. These fetuses are happy,
they come out...Copy !req
337. You got to see them. They
have such high selfEsteem.Copy !req
338. They can't wait to be born.Copy !req
339. They are so happy!Copy !req
340. There's all kinds of ways
you gotta spend money on.Copy !req
341. I work a bunch of different jobs,Copy !req
342. So we can keep getting in all
the different embryo shows.Copy !req
343. My regular 9 to 5 job.Copy !req
344. Is at the pork rind factory.Copy !req
345. That don't pay so good.Copy !req
346. No, but, it's alright.Copy !req
347. Because they give you all the
irregular pork rinds, all you can eat.Copy !req
348. Yeah.Copy !req
349. And the old baby,
the old baby loves them.Copy !req
350. Look at her. She loves them.Copy !req
351. She eats them breakfast,
lunch and dinner.Copy !req
352. Yeah.Copy !req
353. Also I have.Copy !req
354. My toilet on wheels business.Copy !req
355. That's right.Copy !req
356. We just got a second one of them.Copy !req
357. Hey there, honey.Copy !req
358. I mortgaged off the first one.Copy !req
359. Ah, hell.Copy !req
360. It's going good,
I think it's gonna go good.Copy !req
361. It's gonna go good.Copy !req
362. Three hundred? I thought
it was two hundred.Copy !req
363. I know, sweet pea,Copy !req
364. But the banners cost us a
little more than we expected.Copy !req
365. All we got is two hundred.Copy !req
366. That's it.Copy !req
367. God, I am so sorry.Copy !req
368. But we drove all the way here.Copy !req
369. God, I know.Copy !req
370. Dale?Copy !req
371. Sweetie, I...Copy !req
372. Honey.Copy !req
373. Alright.Copy !req
374. I suppose I can take a 4th job.Copy !req
375. Hey there, Mr. VanErnie.Copy !req
376. Hey, dale, she's been acting up again.Copy !req
377. Yeah.Copy !req
378. I took a extra, extra job.Copy !req
379. Down at the circus,Copy !req
380. Mr. VanErnie has me
kiss the elephants' asses.Copy !req
381. I don't know exactly what it is.Copy !req
382. Whether it's the sound or the feeling,Copy !req
383. But the elephants love it.Copy !req
384. Am I a pioneer?Copy !req
385. I suppose so.Copy !req
386. I didn't ask that.Copy !req
387. Well...Copy !req
388. It's a very expensive procedure.Copy !req
389. Thank you for coming to the pageant.Copy !req
390. Here to judge our "golden
days of Hollywood pageant",Copy !req
391. We're proud to have our celebrity judges,Copy !req
392. From the TV show daddy's little fatsy,Copy !req
393. Miss Samantha Donner!Copy !req
394. Morning radio personality,
crazy uncle Gerny!Copy !req
395. And from Europe,Copy !req
396. The royal dutch of dukes.Copy !req
397. Look how pretty you are.Copy !req
398. See how pretty you are.Copy !req
399. It's time for the moment
everybody has been waiting for.Copy !req
400. The winner.Copy !req
401. Of the "golden days
of Hollywood pageant" is...Copy !req
402. The crow fetus!Copy !req
403. The crow fetus!Copy !req
404. There it goesCopy !req
405. the winner of the show...Copy !req
406. Those lips, those cheeks, those eyesCopy !req
407. those lips, those cheeks, those eyesCopy !req
408. it's the winner of the showCopy !req
409. it's the winnerCopy !req
410. of the show.Copy !req
411. This is a fine dining restaurant.Copy !req
412. This man claims to be
the royal dutch of dukes.Copy !req
413. The real royal dutch of dukes
is a frequent guest here.Copy !req
414. Please escort this false royal
dutch of dukes away forthwith!Copy !req
415. I'm gonna kick your ass, Pierre.Copy !req
416. This is so sweet.Copy !req
417. Yeah. This is classy, huh?Copy !req
418. This restaurant is fantastic.Copy !req
419. Yeah, they gave it another star. Six stars.Copy !req
420. I mean it's the ultimate
dining experience.Copy !req
421. For the ultimate lady experience.Copy !req
422. I trust everything
is to monsieur's satisfaction.Copy !req
423. Oh yeah, it's incredible.Copy !req
424. Sweetie, will you excuse me
for just a moment?Copy !req
425. I'm just going to wash my hands.Copy !req
426. Nonsense, madam.Copy !req
427. Le hand washer!Copy !req
428. Wow, how fancy!Copy !req
429. Wow.Copy !req
430. Wow.Copy !req
431. Does madam and monsieur
require anything else?Copy !req
432. No, we're good.Copy !req
433. Very well. I shall bring your entrees.Copy !req
434. Entree, do it!Copy !req
435. Oh, wow.Copy !req
436. Oh, boy, alright.Copy !req
437. Wow.Copy !req
438. Thank you.Copy !req
439. C'est bon. C'est bon.Copy !req
440. Excuse me for just a second.Copy !req
441. Sir, is there a problem?Copy !req
442. No. Where are the restrooms?Copy !req
443. No.Copy !req
444. No, I mean the men's room?Copy !req
445. Shh, sir, please.Copy !req
446. We do not have such a thing.Copy !req
447. The burgundy loaf prides itself.Copy !req
448. As the epitome of class and distinction.Copy !req
449. And we would not soil our atmosphere.Copy !req
450. With a men's toilet room.Copy !req
451. It's too crudeete to imagine.Copy !req
452. Couldn't you just hold it in?Copy !req
453. No, I can't.Copy !req
454. Madam, monsieur,Copy !req
455. Everything is taken care of.Copy !req
456. Voila, the chair.Copy !req
457. Crafted from Brazilian mahogany.Copy !req
458. Le box!Copy !req
459. The box, handCrafted
with Italian gold leaf.Copy !req
460. Inside, a velvet lining.Copy !req
461. To cradle monsieur's leavings.Copy !req
462. With the tender delicacy
of a devoted mother.Copy !req
463. Monsieur may sit,Copy !req
464. Enjoy his meal, and perform
his task at leisure.Copy !req
465. You want me to shit in a box
while I'm eating dinner?Copy !req
466. When monsieur is all vacant,Copy !req
467. We will deliver the box to his home,Copy !req
468. First class, courtesy
of the burgundy loaf.Copy !req
469. Yes.Copy !req
470. Shorts off.Copy !req
471. Rudy!Copy !req
472. Rudy will await your foundation.Copy !req
473. Enjoy your meal.Copy !req
474. The sea bass is excellent.Copy !req
475. This cream sauce is so light.Copy !req
476. I can't wait to meet your parents.Copy !req
477. Yeah.Copy !req
478. Sir, please relax.Copy !req
479. Rudy will wait as long as need be.Copy !req
480. Yeah, you relax.Copy !req
481. Let your ass do the talking.Copy !req
482. Rudy!Copy !req
483. So, umm...Copy !req
484. Yeah, my parents
can't wait to meet you...Copy !req
485. Too.Copy !req
486. How's the duck?Copy !req
487. I bet it's good.Copy !req
488. Hey, speaking of ducks,
I hear some quacking.Copy !req
489. Rudy, please!Copy !req
490. So, uh...Copy !req
491. You better be careful,Copy !req
492. Or my mom's gonna bore you
with her garden stories.Copy !req
493. Thanks for the advance warning.Copy !req
494. Hey there, general, you
deployed any troops yet?Copy !req
495. Rudy!Copy !req
496. Hey!Copy !req
497. Now that's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
498. You folks have a good evening.Copy !req
499. Do you have any toilet paper?Copy !req
500. Shh.Copy !req
501. We do not have something
as crude as toilet paper.Copy !req
502. Frenchy!Copy !req
503. Hello, guv'nor!Copy !req
504. Well, no need to fumigate this month.Copy !req
505. You will love Frenchy's humor.Copy !req
506. We all do.Copy !req
507. I know.Copy !req
508. How about molly here?Copy !req
509. She's always nice and mild
for the bum of a gentleman.Copy !req
510. Here we are.Copy !req
511. Okay. All right.Copy !req
512. Alright. If you would, sir.Copy !req
513. You know,Copy !req
514. Me and me brushes,
we've been everywhere.Copy !req
515. From Waterloo to Tienanmen square.Copy !req
516. Ain't that right, molly?Copy !req
517. Up, up and away.Copy !req
518. It's me, FrenchyCopy !req
519. flying over the neighborhoodCopy !req
520. handing out the boxesCopy !req
521. because Frenchy's got the goodsCopy !req
522. if you see me coming.Copy !req
523. Give a wink and a nod.Copy !req
524. Here's a little gift thatCopy !req
525. came out of your bodCopy !req
526. it's me, FrenchyCopy !req
527. flying over the neighborhoodCopy !req
528. handing out the boxesCopy !req
529. because Frenchy's got the goods.Copy !req
530. Frenchy's got the goods!Copy !req
531. Goodnight, everybody.
Thanks for coming...Copy !req
532. What is it?Copy !req
533. Oh, my god, it's a week late.Copy !req
534. I should've gotten this thing a week ago!Copy !req