1. What?Copy !req
2. - The jig is up, Mike.
- And what jig would that be?Copy !req
3. The meat jig.Copy !req
4. You've got to quit with the beefCopy !req
5. and the fatty foods.Copy !req
6. Your triglycerides are off the charts.Copy !req
7. Oh, but I love meat. Oh,
can I still have those...Copy !req
8. No! No turkey, no kosher, no meat.Copy !req
9. How about pepperoni pizza?Copy !req
10. This isn't funny, Mike.Copy !req
11. I'm not joking and this
ain't no show, mister.Copy !req
12. I'll see you in a year...Copy !req
13. hopefully.Copy !req
14. I'll do my best.Copy !req
15. In the year 1998, two men,
one named Bob, the other David,Copy !req
16. finally finished the run of
a little-known comedy programCopy !req
17. and immediately climbed into
this real time travel machine.Copy !req
18. They set the clock for the year 2015.Copy !req
19. The machine has arrived
at the chosen momentCopy !req
20. and they will now see
what their future holds.Copy !req
21. Here we are. The year 2015.Copy !req
22. It worked! The time machine is real!Copy !req
23. Hey, they finally made it!Copy !req
24. Paul F. Tompkins! John Ennis!Copy !req
25. Jill! Brian! Jay! You guys
are all still hanging around.Copy !req
26. God, Bob, they're so old!Copy !req
27. Oh, my God, you guys...
you've seriously aged.Copy !req
28. Yeah, uh, well, look at
yourselves. It's disgusting.Copy !req
29. Yeah. You guys are older than us.Copy !req
30. We can't be older because we
traveled in this time machine.Copy !req
31. Uh, we watched you get in
that and that was 16 years ago.Copy !req
32. Yeah, dude, it just sat there for 16 years.Copy !req
33. Jesus, what's that smell?Copy !req
34. - Oh, uh...
- Brian, you don't wanna go in...Copy !req
35. - Yeah, that...
- Ugh!Copy !req
36. Oh, my God! Did you guys
shit in there for 16 years?Copy !req
37. But, wait, we did travel in time, right?Copy !req
38. I mean, you got in that
machine 16 years agoCopy !req
39. and then 16 years passed, so...Copy !req
40. No, it's a real time travel
machine. That's what the doctor said.Copy !req
41. Yeah, Dr. Gilly Fartsworth!
He was a real doctor.Copy !req
42. Maybe what the doctor meant was
it was a real-time travel machine.Copy !req
43. Oh, right, there we go.Copy !req
44. So, I mean, you did travel through
time, but just in real-time.Copy !req
45. So, it's, uh... it's a box.Copy !req
46. That you shit in.Copy !req
47. Well, yeah, if you get the deluxe model.Copy !req
48. Oh, you guys got ripped off.Copy !req
49. David... there's one thing we gotta do.Copy !req
50. - Take a sh... Right? No?
- No.Copy !req
51. We gotta go back in time 16 yearsCopy !req
52. and get our money back
from Dr. Gilly Fartsworth!Copy !req
53. Whoa, here we are! But is it 16 years ago?Copy !req
54. Whoa, Bob, you look really old.Copy !req
55. Well, David, you look really fake-old.Copy !req
56. David! Bob! You made it! You
traveled back and forth in time!Copy !req
57. Uh, dude, you sold us a toilet.Copy !req
58. I don't know what you're talking about.Copy !req
59. You just got inside the real time
travel machine a few seconds ago.Copy !req
60. David, he's got a point.Copy !req
61. We did just travel back in time just now.Copy !req
62. - Kind of amazing.
- All right! So I did it!Copy !req
63. No, you would've done it
if we traveled through timeCopy !req
64. without aging the exact
amount of time we traveled.Copy !req
65. Well, it can do that.Copy !req
66. Come on, let me show. Can I show you?Copy !req
67. See, that's your control panel,Copy !req
68. so you can pick which
date you want to go to.Copy !req
69. You guys have it set to
real-time. That's option one.Copy !req
70. Or you can hit this button here,
take that hyphen right out of there.Copy !req
71. Now you've got a real time travel machine.Copy !req
72. And you can travel through
time in nanoseconds!Copy !req
73. - That's it?
- That's it. It's the de-hyphenator.Copy !req
74. It's really the most
impressive part of the machine.Copy !req
75. So, now when we travel through
time, we won't age anymore?Copy !req
76. No! Uh, well, a few minutes or
you can hit this button right here.Copy !req
77. That activates the age-decreaser.Copy !req
78. But I don't know if you'd
want anything like that.Copy !req
79. Of course we want something like that!Copy !req
80. Age-decreaser? Yes!
Why didn't you tell us?Copy !req
81. - Everyone needs one of those.
- Okay, okay!Copy !req
82. Wow, we did it! We're back in the present.Copy !req
83. David? Oh, come on!Copy !req
84. Just give me a minute, Bob. I
had the lamb jaffir for lunch.Copy !req
85. Oh! That's a good one. I'll use that.Copy !req
86. - Because you guys bailed on yourselves...
- Hey, Drew, you in this hand?Copy !req
87. - Yeah.
- Yeah, hang on.Copy !req
88. Geez! Your toilet smells
like a time machine!Copy !req
89. - Such a good book.
- That is ripe!Copy !req
90. Okay. Seven card Chicago,
tens are wild, follow the twos.Copy !req
91. - Yeah, I am in! All right!
- I'm feeling good.Copy !req
92. Uh, here's a question. Did anybody
make a New Year's resolution this year?Copy !req
93. - Oh, come on, man!
- Maybe.Copy !req
94. Follow up question...
uh, has anybody kept them?Copy !req
95. I actually put my house on the market.Copy !req
96. - What?
- Oh, you're doing it?Copy !req
97. Yeah, I'm quitting my job at the warehouse,Copy !req
98. I took Brian out of school,Copy !req
99. I got plane tickets to Hollywood
and I'm gonna do it. Finally.Copy !req
100. I'm gonna direct big budget,
crowd-pleasing, award-winning films.Copy !req
101. - That's so nice.
- Well, that's awesome!Copy !req
102. - Good for you, man.
- Thanks, buddy. I'm excited.Copy !req
103. Wait, I'm sorry. So, Kyle...Copy !req
104. you're just gonna become
a major Hollywood director?Copy !req
105. Yeah, Mike, keep up.Copy !req
106. Yeah, uh, me? I'm doing
it too, man, for real.Copy !req
107. Tanya's letting me take over the basement,
sold the truck, got a pallet of bromine...Copy !req
108. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna
start my own cell phone company!Copy !req
109. - Awesome! That's awesome.
- That's great!Copy !req
110. You know, simple, just...Copy !req
111. you know, design a phone,
build a phone, sort out the...Copy !req
112. - you know, cellular signal thing.
- The bar thing.Copy !req
113. Whatever that's called, yeah.Copy !req
114. And then, boom!Copy !req
115. Tough titties, Samsung!
There's a new kid on the block.Copy !req
116. - All right!
- Good for you, pal!Copy !req
117. You know that Samsung is,
like, a huge company, right?Copy !req
118. - Come on!
- Yeah, I know that.Copy !req
119. Well, how are you gonna outsell them?Copy !req
120. 'Cause it's gonna be a
better product, asshole!Copy !req
121. You know, it's gonna have
a camera with a zoom lens.Copy !req
122. It's gonna take apps
and... Just a better...Copy !req
123. Mike, use your ears to listen.Copy !req
124. Speaking of which...Copy !req
125. - have you made a resolution?
- Yeah.Copy !req
126. Yeah, as a matter of fact I have.Copy !req
127. You know, I just, um...
just saw my doctor...Copy !req
128. and she says my cholesterol
is a little high.Copy !req
129. - Listen to her.
- Yeah, you have to.Copy !req
130. Yeah, so...Copy !req
131. You know, after my brother's
heart attack last year,Copy !req
132. - that was a real wake up call, and, um...
- Sorry, man.Copy !req
133. So I realize I gotta
do it. No more red meat.Copy !req
134. Not eating red meat anymore.Copy !req
135. You love meat though.Copy !req
136. Yeah, I know, but... if I
keep eating it, I'll die, so...Copy !req
137. from now on it's just
chicken, fish and tofu.Copy !req
138. No more red meat for me. End of story.Copy !req
139. Hey, what are we playing,
again? Is it Chicago time?Copy !req
140. - Over and under.
- Over and under.Copy !req
141. It's over and under.
Over and under and sevens.Copy !req
142. - Last game, it was five and ten.
- Yeah.Copy !req
143. So, you know, I hope
when we order pizza, um...Copy !req
144. maybe we get, like, half veggie
or at least just plain cheese,Copy !req
145. because, um... not eatin' red meat anymore.Copy !req
146. You know, I could go for
pizza. I think that's...Copy !req
147. I'm way ahead of you, man. I'm
gonna dial one up on the app thing.Copy !req
148. - You know what? Pepperoni and ham, please.
- Okay.Copy !req
149. - And prosciutto as well, also!
- Italian for "ham".Copy !req
150. Can I get half sausage and on
the other half double sausage?Copy !req
151. Oh, there he is!Copy !req
152. - So your basic Meat Lover's Special there.
- Yeah, right.Copy !req
153. Can we get, like, a small,
with, uh... with no meat on it?Copy !req
154. Oh, you don't think I can do this?Copy !req
155. Come on, man. These are real resolutions.Copy !req
156. Mine is, too! It's for my health.Copy !req
157. Mike, look, I get your sarcasm, okay?Copy !req
158. You don't think I can
be a major film director,Copy !req
159. so you pitch this no-meat,
over-the-top bullshit!Copy !req
160. I think you're being a
shitty friend right now, okay?Copy !req
161. - I wasn't being sarcastic, I was just...
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
162. Mike was being shitty. Let's end it there.Copy !req
163. Yeah.Copy !req
164. Okay. Uh, in other news,
I made a resolution, too.Copy !req
165. I'm running for office.Copy !req
166. - Awesome!
- That's wonderful!Copy !req
167. Excuse me, what office?Copy !req
168. Pope.Copy !req
169. - No kidding?
- Pope of the Holy Roman Catholic Church.Copy !req
170. - Oh, buddy!
- The big kahuna.Copy !req
171. - No better man for it.
- You can do it.Copy !req
172. You're Jewish.Copy !req
173. Yeah. And I got three
responses to that one.Copy !req
174. One, so was Jesus. Two, who cares?Copy !req
175. Three, ride this!Copy !req
176. There it is!Copy !req
177. - That's our pope.
- That's gonna get 'em.Copy !req
178. You know what? Since we're
all being honest here...Copy !req
179. Well, some of us.Copy !req
180. Um, I just wanted to tell you
guys that I've been studying up,Copy !req
181. reading a lot and I'm gonna
do it, I'm gonna be a judge.Copy !req
182. - Oh, that's great!
- Start at the circuit court level.Copy !req
183. Nice and low, you know, and
work my way up and retireCopy !req
184. and then I'm gonna be a famous
no-nonsense TV judge. Whoo!Copy !req
185. That's great, George. Good for you, buddy.Copy !req
186. - Thanks.
- Hey, George,Copy !req
187. how're you gonna be a judge
when you're still on parole?Copy !req
188. Mike, you're not being
very supportive, okay?Copy !req
189. What? When I said my no-meat
thing, you guys gave me nothing.Copy !req
190. That's because it's insane!Copy !req
191. You can learn how to be a judge. You
can't learn how to not like something.Copy !req
192. I'll die if I don't do
it! I have no choice!Copy !req
193. Oh, my God! Mike, we didn't
support your no-meat thingCopy !req
194. 'cause it's bullshit and we know
you're only gonna last for two secondsCopy !req
195. 'cause you love pepperoni!Copy !req
196. So just ease up, learn how to be a
good friend, and cut the bullshit!Copy !req
197. Yeah.Copy !req
198. There it is!Copy !req
199. It's open!Copy !req
200. Mama Margharetti's two minute pizza.Copy !req
201. Get your pizza in two
minutes or half of it is free.Copy !req
202. Here, this is fake. You can keep all of it.Copy !req
203. - All right.
- All right.Copy !req
204. - Oh!
- All right, douchebags.Copy !req
205. - Whoo!
- Oh, yeah!Copy !req
206. Drew Zimble's Zimble Phone took
over the market in less than a year.Copy !req
207. You're probably watching this
on one of his devices now.Copy !req
208. George Jackson was appointed
Federal Judge of the Ninth Circuit.Copy !req
209. Mike Langorghetti lasted 1.3
seconds until he ate meat.Copy !req
210. Jonah Abramowitz became the
first elected freelance pope,Copy !req
211. and was beloved for doing
most of his poping from home.Copy !req
212. and you have my blessing.Copy !req
213. Boop!Copy !req
214. Honey, what do you want for dinner?Copy !req
215. Let's keep it kosher.Copy !req
216. I guess it's going to be Herschel's again!Copy !req
217. Guys! Herschel's is here!Copy !req
218. Serving succulent kosher turkey bacon
and our award-winning turkey oysters.Copy !req
219. All 100% allowed by Hebrew law.Copy !req
220. Because we pride ourselves in
producing the highest quality treatsCopy !req
221. previously available only to Gentiles.Copy !req
222. And now, for a limited Passover treat...Copy !req
223. new Herschel's Turkey Jesus!Copy !req
224. Worship the true Son of God
without breaking any Hebrew law.Copy !req
225. So don't worry, Herschel's Turkey
Jesus contains only the leanest turkey,Copy !req
226. slaughtered under the basic laws of KashrutCopy !req
227. and free of any
physiological abnormalities.Copy !req
228. And it's just as good as the real thing,
because Herschel's Turkey Jesus is pious,Copy !req
229. sits at the right hand of the father,Copy !req
230. and most importantly,
he's deliciously forgiving!Copy !req
231. And don't forget to read
all about the Turkey SaviorCopy !req
232. with this limited edition
Turkey New Testament.Copy !req
233. Certified by Pope Jonah Abramowitz.Copy !req
234. It has my blessing.Copy !req
235. You're watching Judge
George "No Nonsense" Jackson,Copy !req
236. where real people bring real casesCopy !req
237. in front of retired California
circuit court judge George Jackson.Copy !req
238. And no nonsense is ever allowed.Copy !req
239. Tonight, the defendant, Chazz
Maloney, a world-ranked UFC fighter.Copy !req
240. Chazz is accused of unprovoked assaultCopy !req
241. and causing bodily harm to
the plaintiff Andy Duane,Copy !req
242. who claims he was brutally attackedCopy !req
243. and still has the physical and
mental scars to show for it.Copy !req
244. Andy is suing Chazz for medical
costs and emotional traumaCopy !req
245. in the Case of the Popcorn Punch-Out.Copy !req
246. All remain seated.Copy !req
247. Tonight, Judge George "No
Nonsense" Jackson is on vacation.Copy !req
248. Filling in, Judge Sandy
"Some Nonsense" Whistleton.Copy !req
249. Your Honor.Copy !req
250. All righty. Here we go!Copy !req
251. Here it comes. All right. Oh! Yep.Copy !req
252. Okay, whoa! Well, this is new here. What
do I... What do I do? Just sit in it?Copy !req
253. - Yes, sir, just sit right in it.
- Okay, let's give this a...Copy !req
254. One, two, buckle my
shoe. See how this goes.Copy !req
255. All right, what do we have here tonight?Copy !req
256. Chazz Maloney and Andy Duane.Copy !req
257. Uh, one of you is a fighter
and, uh, which one's which?Copy !req
258. - I'm the fighter, sir.
- Don't hit me!Copy !req
259. - I'm not gonna hit anyone.
- Yeah.Copy !req
260. Okay, now I wanna hear both sides,
okay? Plaintiff, you, you go first.Copy !req
261. He almost killed me, sir.Copy !req
262. He broke my nose, he split
my lip, he twisted my arm.Copy !req
263. My doctor says he
hyper-extended both of my elbows.Copy !req
264. And he pinned me!Copy !req
265. Uh, it was all a misunderstanding.Copy !req
266. I was in the ring, I had
been training for months,Copy !req
267. waiting for my opponent,
and then he just walks in.Copy !req
268. No! I didn't go to fight you, okay?Copy !req
269. Sir, I didn't wanna fight anyone.Copy !req
270. Okay, but you were in the ring.Copy !req
271. Didn't know it was a ring. It's a square.Copy !req
272. Sir, what kind of a ring is a square?Copy !req
273. There is no such thing.
That's made up. Okay.Copy !req
274. All right, but it was
the only space like that.Copy !req
275. I was just taking a shortcut
to the goddamn concession area,Copy !req
276. and then you started banging me around!Copy !req
277. Okay, well, I'm a
fighter. That's what I do.Copy !req
278. I didn't know what was
going on in that building.Copy !req
279. I just wanted some popcorn and I...Copy !req
280. "That building"? The Staples Center?Copy !req
281. Whatever it's called.Copy !req
282. I don't know the name
of every building, sir.Copy !req
283. I don't know 'em.Copy !req
284. Honest to Pete! I mean, how
can anyone be asked to knowCopy !req
285. every single building in Los Angeles?Copy !req
286. Okay, well, why would you
wander into a massive arena?Copy !req
287. To buy popcorn! I already told you!Copy !req
288. Don't play the blame
game with me. You'll lose!Copy !req
289. That's a very good point.Copy !req
290. When you talk, I don't wanna hear
excuses. I just wanna hear facts from you.Copy !req
291. Okay, well, he was wearing fighting shorts.Copy !req
292. I just said it's not your turn to talk!Copy !req
293. Go ahead.Copy !req
294. Fighting shorts are my underwear!Copy !req
295. I was home alone, I popped
out to get popcorn...Copy !req
296. See, there's two ways to pop.Copy !req
297. Judge, shut up.Copy !req
298. I was home alone watching
the film Home Alone...Copy !req
299. - Can I talk?
- Shh.Copy !req
300. I popped out to get popcorn.Copy !req
301. I walked across the street.
There was a fella out front.Copy !req
302. I asked him if they sold
popcorn inside. He said yes.Copy !req
303. So, I paid $49 for a
ticket, plus surcharges...Copy !req
304. I went inside, I saw an open
area, I walked towards it,Copy !req
305. climbed through a couple of ropes,Copy !req
306. and then you started whaling on me!Copy !req
307. Okay, but he punched me first!Copy !req
308. Is this true, Mr. Duane?
Did you strike him first?Copy !req
309. I asked him if they sold popcorn.Copy !req
310. He ignored me... so, yes, I punched him!Copy !req
311. He was rude!Copy !req
312. Okay, I said I was sorry.Copy !req
313. You interrupt me one more time
and I'll punch you again, brother!Copy !req
314. Sir, please stay in control.Copy !req
315. Okay, all right, stop! Stop it!
Stop, stop, stop, stop! Okay.Copy !req
316. I'm sorry, you're out of order here, okay?Copy !req
317. A man walks into your place
of business in his pajamasCopy !req
318. and you start punching him around,
give him the old one-two up the kazoo?Copy !req
319. Uh-uh! Not in my courtroom, Sally Anne.Copy !req
320. And you...Copy !req
321. you're right.Copy !req
322. When you're right, you're right.Copy !req
323. I got to hand it to you, kiddo, you
came in here like a house on fire,Copy !req
324. barnstorming, you made your points.Copy !req
325. Good schmuckus on ya.Copy !req
326. All right, well, I find for the plaintiff.Copy !req
327. Give him whatever he wants, okay?Copy !req
328. Find out what he wants,
give it to him, on me, okay?Copy !req
329. All right, so that's all
for me. That... I was...Copy !req
330. Okay, I'm gonna leave now.
What do I... How do I...Copy !req
331. You just stand up, sir, and walk away.Copy !req
332. Up next, she says, she left
her car overnight at his garageCopy !req
333. and when she came to retrieve
it, the radio was gone.Copy !req
334. He says that's impossible.Copy !req
335. The garage is locked
and only she has the key.Copy !req
336. In the case of the car in the
garage that somebody has the key to.Copy !req
337. Filling in for Judge Sandy
"Some Nonsense" WhistletonCopy !req
338. is Judge Gibby "All Nonsense" Whangdoodle.Copy !req
339. Now, that's what I call a real nightcap!Copy !req
340. Boo!Copy !req
341. Judge George is brought
to you by Prilo-Vac.Copy !req
342. Honey, it looks like Herschel's again!Copy !req
343. When you eat like a giant baby with money,Copy !req
344. your stomach can feel like Dante's Inferno.Copy !req
345. That's when even the pope
reaches for Prilo-Vac.Copy !req
346. Yee-haw!Copy !req
347. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
348. Prilo-Vac clears everything out in secondsCopy !req
349. and tells your stupid body to
quit its screaming and man up!Copy !req
350. Prilo-Vac looks your
stomach right in the eyeCopy !req
351. and says, "Ride this!" Yee-haw!Copy !req
352. Bless me, Lord, I can eat like a
fucking idiot with no repercussions.Copy !req
353. Prilo-Vac...Copy !req
354. I'm Charlene Boyeur.Copy !req
355. My guest tonight is film
director Peter Allison Montcrief,Copy !req
356. whose new film, Better Roots,Copy !req
357. takes on the most disgraceful
chapter in American history,Copy !req
358. the showing of Roots.Copy !req
359. With his multi-part TV film,
Better Roots, Peter, welcome.Copy !req
360. Charlene, thank you.Copy !req
361. Now, the word "dignity," it's not often
associated with films about slavery.Copy !req
362. Well, we don't use that word.Copy !req
363. - Dignity?
- No, the other word.Copy !req
364. Films?Copy !req
365. No.Copy !req
366. - Associate?
- No, the last word you used.Copy !req
367. - It starts with the letter "S".
- Slavery!Copy !req
368. That's the one, yes. We're
trying to move past that.Copy !req
369. See, that word has so many
negative connotations, you know,Copy !req
370. if you'd bothered to look it up.Copy !req
371. What we've done is...Copy !req
372. we're using the words
"helper" and "helping".Copy !req
373. You know, 'cause that's
what these people did.Copy !req
374. They helped build a nation.Copy !req
375. - Dignity all around.
- Yeah.Copy !req
376. This is a film that you
can show in any classroom,Copy !req
377. and those kids are gonna walk out of
there feeling good about themselves,Copy !req
378. feeling good about their
ancestors, feeling great about me,Copy !req
379. and good about America.Copy !req
380. Okay, let's look at a clip.Copy !req
381. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
382. Lemonade break!Copy !req
383. Here you go.Copy !req
384. Um, if I could take a moment
out of your lemonade break,Copy !req
385. I'd like to say, thank
you on behalf of myself...Copy !req
386. Damn you! Damn you to hell, Dilton!Copy !req
387. We out here, we're trying to
help you and everything, but...Copy !req
388. you slowing us down with
all these lemonade breaksCopy !req
389. and snack times and thank yous.Copy !req
390. Don't nobody need no thank you.Copy !req
391. Well, you better get used to it,
'cause I'm gonna thank you every day.Copy !req
392. You hear me? Dignity, all around!Copy !req
393. Now, there was a "The End" there.
Is that the end of the film?Copy !req
394. No, Charlene, that'd be ridiculous.Copy !req
395. Why would I... No, that's
the end of the clip.Copy !req
396. So, that was just the end of the clip.Copy !req
397. Okay, would you say that this
is a new take on an old story?Copy !req
398. Uh, it's an update, nothing more, you know.Copy !req
399. That's all it is, really.Copy !req
400. We're showing a side
that's never been shown.Copy !req
401. I'd like to ask you about the scene
where the slaves are getting paid.Copy !req
402. Helpers! Helpers.Copy !req
403. Yes. Let's watch.Copy !req
404. Tunde!Copy !req
405. Aren't you gonna sign for it?Copy !req
406. Oh... yes, Mr. Dilton.Copy !req
407. Mr. Dilton is my father.Copy !req
408. My name's Jody.Copy !req
409. Thank you, Jody.Copy !req
410. Not so fast.Copy !req
411. Now, I heard...Copy !req
412. somebody said something
about somebody in the field.Copy !req
413. A helper...Copy !req
414. gettin' all high and mighty,
and tellin' how they beCopy !req
415. doing twice the work of the other helper.Copy !req
416. Maybe even...Copy !req
417. more work than old Greeb here.Copy !req
418. Yeah.Copy !req
419. You don't know nothing
about that, now do you?Copy !req
420. No, sir... Jody.Copy !req
421. I just do my job best I can,Copy !req
422. do school at night so
I can become a lawyer,Copy !req
423. and then President of
the United States one day,Copy !req
424. and keep my mouth shut.Copy !req
425. Then you don't know nothing about nothing,
they talked to nobody no how, is that it?Copy !req
426. Yes.Copy !req
427. Well, good.Copy !req
428. Then I musta got the right helper.Copy !req
429. You got something special
in your pay packet.Copy !req
430. Open it up.Copy !req
431. I can't read so good.Copy !req
432. Can you read that to me?Copy !req
433. It say...Copy !req
434. You wanna collect on that now?Copy !req
435. - I would, sir.
- Oh, I'm so glad you said yes.Copy !req
436. Come on, Greeb, get in on this hug.Copy !req
437. - All righty. I'm in there.
- Come on, Greeb.Copy !req
438. - I need a friend.
- Nobody hugs like old Greeb.Copy !req
439. He just thought he was getting money.Copy !req
440. Well, now that is an uplifting ending.Copy !req
441. No, that's the end of the clip.Copy !req
442. I put "The End" over the end of the clipsCopy !req
443. so you wouldn't get confused.Copy !req
444. You know, I don't want
people to watch this showCopy !req
445. and think this show is part of the movie.Copy !req
446. That's why I put "The End" over the
clips, so they would know. Otherwise...Copy !req
447. Now, your detractors are saying
that you've whitewashed things.Copy !req
448. Okay, well, that's racist. As a
white man, I find that insulting,Copy !req
449. and it feels like I'm
being personally attacked.Copy !req
450. And look, we don't shy away
from the brutality of helperism.Copy !req
451. - Slavery.
- That's your word, okay?Copy !req
452. We have a brutal whipping
scene in here which is, uh,Copy !req
453. quite frankly, unforgiving, you know.Copy !req
454. Show that, why don't you? Get
off my ass for a fucking second.Copy !req
455. Hear, hear!Copy !req
456. What the hell are you
doing? You're hurting him!Copy !req
457. What? It wasn't...Copy !req
458. - What the hell you doin'?
- It wasn't me, it's this whip here.Copy !req
459. The whip?Copy !req
460. I followed the instructions to the letter.Copy !req
461. Let me see 'em.Copy !req
462. - It's right here.
- Show me the instruction.Copy !req
463. - They made this thing too shaky.
- Shut up, now.Copy !req
464. Greeb, what the heck you
done? Which end did you hold?Copy !req
465. I helded this end.Copy !req
466. - And then you hit him with...
- I hit him with the wraggly end.Copy !req
467. I don't care about that. You untie him.Copy !req
468. Yes, sir. I'm sorry, Mr. Dilton.Copy !req
469. I'm so sorry. You all right
there? I didn't mean to do nothing.Copy !req
470. I can't remember how I
tied this. Get it off.Copy !req
471. Okay, is that better? There we go. Okay.Copy !req
472. - Now, Greeb...
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
473. You know what you gotta do.Copy !req
474. Yes, I reckon I do, sir.Copy !req
475. I need to return this here whip.Copy !req
476. It almost really hurt this helper.Copy !req
477. Now that just said "The End" twice.Copy !req
478. Yes, it's the end of the
movie and the end of the clip.Copy !req
479. Fascinating.Copy !req
480. Tomorrow night, my guest will be America's
premiere sci-fi director, Kyle Buggins,Copy !req
481. whose new film has become,
in just a few short weeks,Copy !req
482. the highest-grossing film ever made.Copy !req
483. Trans-Form-Bots, about
transsexual robotsCopy !req
484. that can switch their
sexual identities at will,Copy !req
485. and switch back also, or not
be robots at all either even.Copy !req
486. The Charlene Boyeur ShowCopy !req
487. is funded in part by
Zimble Internation Phones.Copy !req
488. Mike said I couldn't do it.Copy !req
489. They did it. Every single one of 'em.Copy !req
490. I did my best.Copy !req
491. Code blue. Room 305.Copy !req
492. The decision did not go in
your favor. Uh, your reaction?Copy !req
493. Well, the decision is one thing, uh...Copy !req
494. For me, uh, I found that
the amount of nonsenseCopy !req
495. was of a greater degree than I had
been led to believe it would be.Copy !req
496. Thank you.Copy !req
497. And the decision did go in
your favor and your reaction?Copy !req
498. I think it was the exact
right amount of nonsense.Copy !req
499. - synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -Copy !req