1. How's it look?
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2. Eh.
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3. Cameras everywhere.
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4. Yeah, right.
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5. Big gates.
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6. Not good.
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7. Oh...
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8. Ah, well, we've got plenty
of pistachios.
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9. Connery. Yeah.
Yeah. Totally.
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10. Second?
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11. Lazenby.
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12. - Lazenby?
- Yeah.
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13. Who the fuck's that?
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14. George Lazenby.
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15. No, never heard of him.
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16. After Connery.
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17. He did, um,
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18. Her Majesty's,
uh, Secret Service.
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19. - Mm-hmm?
- Only did one film.
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20. Never seen it.
I'll have to see it.
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21. Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, right.
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22. He's an Aussie.
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23. - An Aussie?
- Mm-hmm.
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24. - Bond?
- Aussie Bond, mate.
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25. - Fuck off.
- Yeah, serious.
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26. That's not right—
you can't have an Aussie Bond.
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27. No, he's Aussie.
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28. - Really?
- Yeah.
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29. - Yeah, right.
- Mm-hmm.
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30. - Okay. So that's two.
- Yeah.
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31. What about number three?
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32. I don't mind the guy
playing him now.
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33. Mm-hmm.
What's his name?
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34. What's his fucking name?
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35. Yeah, I don't know.
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36. Yeah.
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37. - He's number three, though.
- Yeah, he's three.
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38. Right-o. Number four?
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39. Four...
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40. I didn't like Moore.
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41. - Don't like the old Roger?
- No.
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42. - Nah?
- Nah, too snobby,
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43. - Really?
- polished, yeah.
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44. - Yeah?
- I didn't like him.
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45. I like the old Roger.
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46. - Yeah, no, I didn't like him.
- Okay.
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47. What about Brosnan?
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48. No.
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49. No, I put Brosnan last.
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50. - Don't like Brosnan?
- Last.
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51. - Really?
- Yeah.
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52. Yeah, all right.
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53. Yeah, no, I'd go:
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54. Connery, Lazenby,
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55. guy playing him now...
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56. - Mm-hmm.
- um, Dalton,
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57. Moore...
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58. - Brosnan.
- All right.
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59. I got: Connery...
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60. Moore, Brosnan,
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61. - guy playing him now...
- Mm-hmm.
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62. - Dalton.
- Don't like him.
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63. All right.
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64. Best Batman.
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65. Oh.
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66. - Keaton.
- Keaton. Yeah.
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67. "I'm Batman."
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68. H... Here we are.
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69. Okay.
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70. Pull in there.
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71. Which one's the prez?
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72. Guy in the light-colored jacket.
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73. And the VP?
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74. That guy he's hugging now—
the bald head.
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75. Yeah, right.
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76. It's fucking Daniel Craig.
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77. Ah. That's it.
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78. Ugh.
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79. Put the thingy on! Put the...
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80. Aah!
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81. Aah!
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82. Go left!
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83. Yeah!
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84. Oh!
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85. All right, last one.
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86. You need to get this one.
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87. - Yeah?
- Last one.
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88. - All right.
- Ready?
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89. Start praying.
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90. He's good.
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91. What do you want?
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92. - Uh, that one, please.
- No worries.
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93. - There you go.
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94. - Happy?
- Yeah.
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95. What are we doing for Christmas?
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96. What do you want to do?
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97. Well, my family
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98. are going to my folks
for lunch...
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99. - Yeah.
- and I was wondering
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100. if you and Bruce and Britt...
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101. wanted to come.
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102. Yeah, I'll ask Brucey.
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103. But Britt and I
will definitely come.
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104. Okay.
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105. Girls, you want an ice cream?
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106. - Yeah!
- Yeah!
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107. Yes.
Yeah, that's a surprise.
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108. Let me get a scoop of chocolate.
Right.
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109. Two scoops. Why not? Fill it up.
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110. Two?
Yeah.
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111. And there you go.
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112. Thank you.
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113. - Uh, excuse me?
- Yeah?
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114. I asked for two scoops.
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115. Oh, yeah,
there's two scoops there.
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116. How come they're
the same size, then?
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117. - See?
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118. Well, there's one scoop
in this cup, right?
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119. - Yeah.
- And two scoops in this cup?
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120. - Yeah.
- So how come they're the same size, then?
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121. - Oh. No, sorry, I...
- There-There's as much
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122. in this one as this one.
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123. Right, I pushed
the two scoops down more
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124. so that they'd both
fit into the cup.
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125. - Just don't worry about it.
- What? It's a fucking rip-off.
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126. I put the same-size scoops
in there.
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127. You put
the same-size scoops in there?
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128. - Yes.
- I don't fucking think so, mate.
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129. - Look.
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130. Scoops. Same height.
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131. Mm-hmm.
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132. Yeah, um, like I was saying,
I pushed it down, so...
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133. Two scoops. Yeah, yeah.
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134. - One still should be bigger.
- Mm-hmm.
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135. If you're n...
if you're not happy...
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136. - Give me two scoops.
- Okay.
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137. Fucking wrong with this guy.
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138. - Deaf or something.
- I'm really sorry about that.
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139. There's another scoop.
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140. All right, that's better.
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141. You get what I mean, right,
about the scoops?
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142. Oh, yeah, totally.
It's completely fine.
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143. - Yeah, all good.
- Mm-hmm.
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144. All right, let's go.
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145. You got a problem, mate?
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146. Yeah, mate.
Would you like one, would you?
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147. Well, come on.
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148. - Let's go.
Ray.
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149. Huh?
It's not worth it.
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150. - Well, come on.
Eh...
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151. Yeah, that's
what I thought. Fag.
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152. Uh, what do you want, girls?
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153. - What flavor?
- Eh? What do you want?
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154. - Uh...
- I want salted caramel.
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155. - Salted caramel?
- Yeah.
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156. I want mint choc chip.
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157. - Mint choc— that's my favorite.
- Yeah.
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158. - How many scoops you want?
- Have a good night.
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159. Dad?
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160. - Oh. God. Oh! Sorry, it's...
- Don't hit Ally!
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161. No, darling, it's okay.
It's okay. It's, um...
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162. - We're okay. We're just...
- Why were you hitting her?
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163. - No, no, no, no. It's okay.
- I... I wasn't hitting.
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164. - No...
- I wasn't. I wasn't. No,
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165. we're just mucking around, love.
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166. Um...
- Just-just... just mucking around, just playful.
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167. - And it's all right.
- What were you doing?
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168. Um...
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169. We were having sex.
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170. Oh, Jesus.
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171. Um, has Mum had the birds and
the bees chat with you, love?
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172. - What?
- The sex talk.
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173. - Has Mum talked to you about sex?
- No.
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174. Okay. Well, we...
We'll... we'll...
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175. We'll have a talk
about it, okay?
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176. Why don't you just go
to your room, and we'll...?
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177. I'll come in
in a minute, all right?
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178. Just give us a minute.
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179. - Ah, man. Mm.
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180. Jesus Christ.
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181. Fucking heart attack.
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182. Oh...
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183. Okay. So...
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184. When a man and a woman
love each other,
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185. all right, they have sex.
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186. Okay?
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187. So, um...
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188. when they have sex,
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189. the man puts his penis...
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190. - You know what a penis is?
- Dad.
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191. Okay.
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192. So, the man takes his penis,
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193. and he puts it
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194. inside the woman's vagina.
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195. What? Why?
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196. Well, 'cause that's how
you make a baby.
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197. So, do you know what, um...
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198. do you know what testicles are?
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199. - Balls?
Mm.
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200. Balls, yeah. Okay.
So, in the man's balls,
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201. there's things called sperm.
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202. - Okay?
- Okay.
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203. And they're kind of like,
um, like little fish.
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204. - Fish?
- Mm.
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205. No.
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206. Nah, they're more like,
um, tadpoles.
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207. You've got tadpoles
in your balls?
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208. They're kind of like tadpoles,
but they're smaller.
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209. Mm.
- Okay?
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210. So, anyway, when the man
and the woman have sex, right,
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211. the sperm—
the little tadpoles—
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212. swim out of the man's penis,
right,
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213. and go into the woman's vagina.
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214. And then they swim
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215. up into...
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216. the woman's... tummy.
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217. Mm. There's an egg.
Where there's an egg there.
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218. - An egg?
- Yeah. No, it's...
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219. it's not a... it's not
a hard egg. It's not like...
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220. Not like a chicken egg.
It's-it's a soft egg.
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221. And there's, like,
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222. millions of these sperm, okay?
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223. So, the sperm
that swims the fastest
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224. out of all those
millions, right,
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225. is the first one
that gets to the egg,
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226. and that's the one
that makes the baby.
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227. So, when you were a sperm,
you swam the fastest.
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228. So, if I was the fastest sperm,
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229. how come I'm not
a good swimmer now?
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230. Um...
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231. - Well...
- Wait. So, hang on.
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232. I came from your balls?
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233. Half of you came from my balls.
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234. Half-half of you came
from my balls,
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235. and the other half came
from your mum's tummy.
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236. - That's weird.
- Mm.
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237. So, are you gonna
make a sister for me?
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238. Uh, no,
we're not planning to. No.
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239. Why are you doing sex, then?
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240. Um... 'cause it feels nice.
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241. Gross!
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242. It's not that bad. It's a bit gross.
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243. How you going, love?
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244. G'day.
What can I do you for?
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245. Just a couple of dimmies.
Thanks, love.
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246. Okay.
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247. So, how's your day going?
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248. It's all right. How's yours?
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249. Oh, you know.
Same old, same old.
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250. - Yeah.
- Boring.
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251. There you go.
That's $6.80, thanks.
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252. Keep the change,
love, all right?
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253. Aw, thanks.
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254. Here we go.
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255. Hey, Steph. How are you, doll?
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256. - G'day. Not bad. You?
- Good.
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257. - Good.
- I'm doing good, love.
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258. - You want a drink, mate?
- Yeah, a lemon I...
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259. lemon iced tea, man.
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260. Ray?
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261. How are you, mate?
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262. I don't believe it.
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263. - Ray Shoesmith.
- Yeah.
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264. How you been?
All right?
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265. Jesus.
I'm real good, mate.
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266. Geez, it's good to... Oh.
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267. - Mate, it's good to see you.
- Yeah. Same, Vinnie.
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268. - No, really. Seriously.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
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269. - Fucking good to see you.
- Yeah, same, mate. Yeah.
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270. What the...? You-you live
around here, do you?
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271. - Yeah, just about ten minutes down the road.
- Nice, nice.
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272. - You around here, too, eh?
Yeah, yeah.
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273. - Hey, listen, uh, Pauly, mate.
- Yeah.
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274. Yeah. I was real sorry
to hear about Pauly.
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275. - Oh, yeah.
- I was real sorry to hear
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276. - about that, mate.
- Yeah. Thanks, mate.
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277. Now, I would've come
to the funeral, I was overseas.
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278. - Yeah, no, it's all right.
- He was a good bloke, but...
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279. - Thank you. Yeah. Great bloke.
- Yeah, sorry.
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280. - Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah. Anyway, so what you got there?
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281. - What you...? Dimmies.
- Dimmies, mate.
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282. - Yeah.
- Ah, can't go past the dimmies, mate.
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283. - Surely can't.
- Hey. Hey, listen.
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284. Have you tried
the sausage rolls?
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285. - Uh, no. No, I haven't.
- Oh, fuck. Hey, Steph.
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286. Old mate here— he's never tried
one of your sausage rolls.
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287. - Coming right up, Vinnie.
- I'll pay for it. Yeah?
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288. - Yeah.
- All right. I...
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289. It might sound like
I'm carrying on,
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290. but seriously, she makes them
fresh here every day.
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291. They're the best sausage rolls
in the country, I swear to God.
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292. - Oh, yeah?
- Put that down there...
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293. - I'll give it a crack, mate. I got to run.
- All right.
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294. - Yeah, I'm late already. Good to see you.
- Ah.
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295. - Real good. Real good.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
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296. - You look good.
- You, too. You haven't aged.
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297. - Yeah. Look after yourself.
- Well, yeah.
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298. - It's real good to see you, mate.
- Talk to you soon.
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299. Now, some of those numbers
aren't gonna add up exactly,
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300. - but I think...
- Some of 'em?
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301. - You know what to do.
- Yeah.
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302. - Some of 'em. Couple of 'em.
- Yeah.
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303. Couple of 'em. Hi, mate.
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304. - You all right?
- Yeah, good.
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305. - You sticking around for a bit?
- Yeah.
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306. I want to talk to you
about something, you know.
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307. - All right.
- How you doing, man?
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308. - Yeah.
- Ray.
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309. - Nasir.
- We got to have a chat, all right?
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310. I'll catch you later.
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311. - Is that the guy?
- No, mate. Come on.
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312. - Is that the guy?
- Let's go.
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313. Answer me!
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314. I'm gonna teach you about loss.
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315. Excuse me?
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316. - Get to work, please now.
- I know your face now.
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317. - Get to work, Ray!
- Gonna teach you about loss!
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318. - Davros' brother, was it?
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319. Why the fuck would you
bring him in here?
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320. Yeah, I know, I know.
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321. Hey, listen, um,
that shit he said—
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322. don't worry about that.
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323. He's just...
he's just upset, you know?
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324. Is he a crim?
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325. No. No, he's an accountant.
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326. He's been helping me
with the books.
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327. - Yeah.
- I can't even remember
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328. the last time I got laid.
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329. How long's it been?
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330. Oh, shit.
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331. Year and a half, maybe.
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332. Mm.
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333. Well,
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334. I could, uh,
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335. organize something for you,
if you want.
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336. I hate knock shops.
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337. No, I'd just get one
of the girls from work
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338. to come pay you a visit.
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339. Mm.
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340. Maybe.
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341. Mm.
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342. Can I ask you something?
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343. Yeah.
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344. When I don't feel like doing
any of this anymore,
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345. will you help me?
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346. Help you with what?
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347. You know...
Copy !req
348. call it quits.
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349. Die?
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350. Yeah.
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351. Cross that bridge
when we come to it, mate, eh?
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352. Yeah, okay.
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353. You know, Britt'd miss you.
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354. Yeah, I know.
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355. I'd probably miss you
for about five minutes.
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356. You know, you guys
are the only reason
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357. I've stuck around
as long as I have.
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358. Mm.
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359. Ray. How are you?
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360. How come you didn't come
to the club?
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361. Yeah, sorry.
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362. Totally forgot.
My fault.
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363. So, you gonna invite me in
or...?
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364. Yeah, 'course.
Come in, come in.
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365. So, what's been happening?
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366. Oh, not much.
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367. What's been happening with you?
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368. Oh, mate, heaps, actually.
Yeah.
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369. I, um, had an audition
for a pilot yesterday.
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370. So, pretty stoked about that.
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371. - Like a TV show?
- Yeah.
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372. Oh.
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373. Yeah. It's, uh...
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374. You here for the dough?
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375. No, just thought I'd come around
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376. and see how your acting career
is going.
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377. Yeah.
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378. Uh, mate, I'm gonna have
to get that to you on Wednesday.
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379. Said you'd have the money, man.
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380. No, I know.
I know I did.
Copy !req
381. And I'm sorry,
but I'm definitely gonna have it
Copy !req
382. by Wednesday.
Definitely.
Copy !req
383. I have to give you a touch-up.
Copy !req
384. What? But Wednesday's
two days away.
Copy !req
385. Yeah, I know when Wednesday is.
Copy !req
386. Okay.
Copy !req
387. Um...
Copy !req
388. well, could it not be the face?
Copy !req
389. It's got to be the face.
Copy !req
390. Why?
Copy !req
391. It's got to be somewhere
where people can see it.
Copy !req
392. Why?
Copy !req
393. So, if Freddy sees you,
Copy !req
394. he knows I've done my job.
Copy !req
395. Okay.
Copy !req
396. Cool?
Copy !req
397. - Yep.
- All right.
Copy !req
398. Cool. All right.
Copy !req
399. Don't-don't use my uke, please.
Copy !req
400. My nan gave me that.
Copy !req
401. Happy?
Copy !req
402. - Yeah.
- Cool.
Copy !req
403. - Don't flinch, all right?
Copy !req
404. - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Copy !req
405. Mate, mate, it's just my mum.
It's just my mum, okay?
Copy !req
406. - Please. Pl...
- Why didn't you fucking say something?
Copy !req
407. She's staying with me
for a couple days.
Copy !req
408. Please?
Copy !req
409. Hello.
Copy !req
410. How you doing?
Copy !req
411. Mum, this is Ray.
He's a mate of mine.
Copy !req
412. Hi. I'm Lorraine.
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413. Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
414. Well, I'm gonna make a cuppa.
Copy !req
415. Would you boys like one?
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416. Um...
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417. Yeah.
Copy !req
418. Thanks, love.
Copy !req
419. Mm-mmm.
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420. So, what do you do, Ray?
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421. Security, mainly.
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422. - Oh.
- Mm.
Copy !req
423. So, you're just here
for a couple of days,
Copy !req
424. - are you?
- Yes.
Copy !req
425. I'm actually living
in Broken Hill at the moment.
Copy !req
426. Been there a few years now.
Copy !req
427. Oh, okay. Yeah.
Copy !req
428. I went through there
a few years ago.
Copy !req
429. Nice, uh...
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430. It's got a good feel to it.
Copy !req
431. Yeah, it's nice.
Copy !req
432. It's got a real community feel
about it, which I like.
Copy !req
433. Yeah, well, you don't get much
of that around here, do you?
Copy !req
434. No, you don't.
Copy !req
435. - Mm.
- I lived in St Kilda for many years,
Copy !req
436. and there's very little
community spirit there,
Copy !req
437. - I can tell you.
- Mm.
Copy !req
438. Mm.
Copy !req
439. Mm. We better get going.
Copy !req
440. Oh, shit. Yeah.
Copy !req
441. Um, we got to pick up my sister
from work, so...
Copy !req
442. Actually, Mum,
Copy !req
443. um, me and Ray—
Copy !req
444. we've got to r-rehearse
for an audition I've got.
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445. - Oh, another one?
- Yeah.
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446. So... is that all right?
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447. Yeah. That's fine.
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448. I'll take my car.
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449. Great.
- Oh. I'll get that door for you, love.
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450. Nice to meet you.
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451. Nice to meet you, Ray.
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452. Okay.
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453. Oh, and... break a leg.
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454. I will. Thanks.
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455. Just-just not the teeth.
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456. Hey? I've just spent
eight grand on veneers.
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457. - Anything else?
No, that's it.
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458. Oh! Oh!
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459. Oh... I've got it!
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460. I've got it!
I've got the fucking money.
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461. I've got it.
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462. Fuck!
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463. Why didn't you just give me
the fucking money
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464. when I asked for it?
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465. I'm going to L.A.
for pilot season.
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466. No, you're not.
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467. No, no, no, no, no, no!
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468. Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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