Moral Orel 2x14

Directed by Ethan Marak

During a Pious Scouts camping trip, Orel discovers man's missing link and then learns the meaning of Geniusis; the worded combination about the genius of the Bible's Genesis story.

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1. ¦

2. ALL RIGHT, PIOUS SCOUTS, TIME TO BUILD A FIRE.

3. NOW THE FIRST THING TO REMEMBER IS ALWAYS PLACE A

4. GOVERNMENT-CERTIFIED UNCLE TOXIE LOG AS DEEP AS YOU CAN INTO THE

5. PIT, FAR AWAY FROM YOUR LUNGS AND GENITALS.

6. NOW WHO REMEMBERS HOW TO LIGHT THIS HANDY, LITTLE APPLIANCE?

7. OREL?

8. YOU SIMPLY START THE FIRE WITH THE SPARK OF LIFE,

9. WHICH GOD PUT INTO ALL OF HIS CREATURES.

10. VERY GOOD.

11. YOU MAY DO THE HONORS.

12. THERE WE GO, BOYS — HOT, DELICIOUS FIRE.

13. OOH!

14. NOW WHO WANTS TO HEAR A GHOST STORY?

15. I DO, I DO, I DO!

16. OKAY, HOW ABOUT I READ "THE ATTACK OF THE TREE HUGGERS"?

17. NO!

18. "THE FLESH-EATING CATHOLICS"?

19. NO!

20. AH, I KNOW — "THE SPINE-CHILLING LIES OF

21. CHARLES DARWIN."

22. YEAH!

23. "ONCE UPON A TIME, ON A DARK, DESOLATE ISLAND, THERE LIVED A

24. HIDEOUS, UGLY, BLOODTHIRSTY SCIENTIST"...

25. OOH!

26. "WHO SAID THAT MAN CAME FROM APES.

27. AND HE TRIED TO PROVE THIS BY MAKING US BELIEVE THERE WAS AN

28. UNSEEN CREATURE WHO WAS HALF MAN, HALF MONKEY."

29. GOSH!

30. "THIS GROTESQUE CREATURE'S NAME WAS... THE MISSING LINK."

31. AAH!

32. THE END.

33. OREL, I THINK I JUST EARNED MY "SCAREDY" BADGE.

34. GREAT WORK, DOUGHY!

35. OKAY, KIDS, TIME TO TURN OFF THE FIRE AND HIT THE SACK.

36. PUT ON YOUR ANTI-CANCER SHIELDS, EVERYBODY.

37. GOOD NIGHT, BOYS.

38. HEY, DOUGHY, WAKE UP.

39. WE BETTER HURRY IF WE'RE GONNA GET OUR "CONQUERING NATURE"

40. BADGES.

41. GOOD IDEA.

42. I THINK THIS HIKE IS

43. THE PERFECT WAY TO APPRECIATE THE BEAUTY OF THE LORD'S EARTH.

44. MAYBE, BUT I'M SCARED OF WILD ANIMALS, OREL.

45. GEE, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT — OH, LOOK.

46. WOW!

47. IT'S THE FICTIONAL MISSING LINK FROM THE GHOST BOOK.

48. SAY, THAT SHOULD TAKE CARE OF OUR "COINCIDENCE" BADGES.

49. AND OUR "MELTING" BADGES.

50. YIPPEE!

51. HUH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

52. IT'S BECOME A NICE DAY ALL OF A SUDDEN.

53. HMM.

54. HEY, YOU TWO, GLAD YOU'RE BACK.

55. WE'RE JUST ABOUT READY TO HEAD HOME.

56. LOOK WHAT WE FOUND, MR. CARSON.

57. IT'S THE MISSING LINK FROM THE SPOOKY DARWIN STORY.

58. NO!

59. IT CAN'T BE.

60. UH, HUB-BUB-A-BUB-BUB.

61. D-DON'T WORRY, KIDS.

62. THIS LOOKS TO ME LIKE SOME KIND OF MONKEY WITH A MASK ON.

63. OR — OR MAYBE A HIPPY OR AN ALASKAN OR SOMETHING.

64. UM, NOW GET.

65. SHOO!

66. SCAT, HIPPY.

67. HERE.

68. FETCH.

69. BYE, HIPPY!

70. Rev. EVERYBODY HAVING

71. A GOOD TIME?

72. GREAT WAY TO MINGLE, HUH?

73. HMM... THOUGHT THERE'D BE MORE WOMEN.

74. PLENTY OF SWEETS!

75. I DON'T KNOW HOW JESUS STAYED SO SCRAWNY, YOU KNOW?

76. OOH, LOOK!

77. IT SAYS, "FAITH."

78. HOW FUN FOR A COOKIE.

79. Rev. IT'S NOT A LIBRARY, MA'AM.

80. MINE!

81. REVEREND PUTTY, MAY I HAVE TWO CHOCOLATE LEPER CAKES

82. AND A CANDY "CAIN AND ABEL" FOR MY, UM...

83. Rev. OH, FOR YOUR BROTHER?

84. WELL, HE'S...

85. Rev. YOU GOT EIGHT BUCKS?

86. SURE DO.

87. Rev. THERE YOU GO.

88. ENJOY.

89. THANKS.

90. LINK!

91. Rev. YOU KNOW THIS

92. INDIVIDUAL, OREL?

93. SURE DO, REVEREND.

94. HE'S MY FRIEND.

95. OREL!

96. AAHHH!

97. THIS EUROPEAN... MAN CANNOT BE YOUR FRIEND.

98. YOU KNOW FULL WELL THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER TRUST A FOREIGNER.

99. GEE, DO YOU REALLY THINK HE'S FROM EUROPE, MOM?

100. OF COURSE.

101. LISTEN TO THAT ACCENT.

102. Rev. OREL, YOUR FRIEND IS... NOT A PROPER CHRISTIAN.

103. GEE, HOW DO YOU KNOW, REVEREND?

104. WELL, LOOK AT HIM, OREL.

105. I MEAN, THIS THING — IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A...

106. A WHAT, MISS SCULPTHAM?

107. WELL, HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T BELIEVE IN "GENIUSIS."

108. GENIUSIS?

109. I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE, FOLKS.

110. THAT'S RIGHT, OREL — GENIUSIS.

111. IT'S A CLEVER COMBINATION OF THE WORDS "GENIUS" AND "GENESIS."

112. HUH?

113. OH, YEAH.

114. GENIUSIS IS THE MOST SIMPLISTIC WAY OF DISPROVING

115. EVOLUTION WHILE AT THE SAME TIME PROVING THAT THROUGH THE MIRACLE

116. OF GOD'S PURE BRAINPOWER HE WHIPPED UP THE UNIVERSE IN HIS

117. HEAVEN-SHAPED LABORATORY HUNDREDS OF HUNDREDS OF YEARS

118. AGO.

119. WOW!

120. IN FACT, GENIUSIS IS SO SIMPLISTIC THAT EVEN THE LOWEST

121. FORM OF LIFE CAN UNDERSTAND IT.

122. Rev. I DON'T THINK HIS TINY BRAIN COULD HOLD AN IDEA

123. ANY MORE CHALLENGING OR COMPLEX.

124. WELL, THERE SEEMS TO BE NO ALTERNATIVE.

125. LET'S FORCE HIM INTO LEARNING BEFORE HE RUINS EVERYTHING.

126. BUT HOW CAN WE FORCE HIM INTO LEARNING,

127. PRINCIPAL FAKEY?

128. IT'S SIMPLE, OREL.

129. ALL YOU NEED IN ORDER TO TEACH IS A LITTLE INTIMIDATION.

130. AND FEAR!

131. AAH!

132. Rev. ALL RIGHT, LET'S START WITH THE BASICS.

133. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS, YOU GO HERE AND BURN FOREVER!

134. AAH!

135. AAH! AAH! AAH!

136. Rev. FEAR OF GOD IN 2.3 SECONDS.

137. THIS BOZO'S GONNA BE A CHRISTIAN NO TIME FLAT.

138. AND THAT'S NO THREAT.

139. OH BOY.

140. APPARENTLY, THERE'S A NEW CRAZE CALLED "CONSERVATION."

141. TSK-TSK-TSK.

142. MNH-MNH.

143. LEAVE IT TO THE LIBERALS.

144. THEY TAKE A PERFECTLY FINE WORD, LIKE "CONSERVATIVE," AND RAPE US

145. WITH IT.

146. OH!

147. MOM, DAD, IT'S 8:00.

148. OH, BOY, MY NEW FAVORITE SHOW.

149. FROM A BLOCK OF ICE TO GOD'S EARS, IT'S "THE LINK McMISSUNS

150. SHOW."

151. GOOD AFTERNOON, CITIZENS OF MORALTON.

152. I AM LINK McMISSUNS.

153. MY GUEST TODAY IS DR. CASTINGS PALPABLE.

154. OUR TOPIC — EVOLUTION VERSUS GENIUSIS.

155. NOW, YOU BELIEVE IN THIS CRACKPOT THEORY OF

156. EVOLUTION.

157. DON'T YOU, DR. PALPABLE?

158. YES, OF COURSE.

159. THERE IS EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE — DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT,

160. DOCTOR.

161. EVEN YOU CAN'T IGNORE ALL THE EVIDENCE THAT GOD MADE ADAM OUT

162. OF DIRT AND EVE WAS A SPARE RIB.

163. THAT'S JUST LOGIC, DOCTOR.

164. COME NOW.

165. THERE ARE FOSSILS — FOSSILS, FOSSILS — YOU'RE

166. LIKE A BROKEN RECORD.

167. ANY RATIONAL MIND WOULD KNOW

168. THAT GOD PLANTED DINOSAUR BONES IN THE EARTH IN ORDER TO GROW

169. DINOSAURS.

170. WELL, INTERESTING THEORY.

171. YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK OUT THIS ARTIST'S RENDERING OF DARWIN'S

172. PROPOSED MISSING LINK.

173. WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?

174. NOTHING LIKE THIS EVER EXISTED.

175. IT'S PREPOSTEROUS.

176. NOW TAKE A LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF YOU FROM SEVERAL

177. WEEKS AGO.

178. HUH?

179. THAT'S ME?

180. UH, YES, ALBEIT A SLEEKER, SEXIER YOU, BUT YOU NONETHELESS.

181. MR. McMISSUNS, HOW DO YOU

182. ACCOUNT FOR YOUR JUTTING BROW RIDGE AND YOUR STOOPED, APE-LIKE

183. STATURE?

184. HOW?

185. YES.

186. AND WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A HOMO SAPIEN COMPLETELY

187. COVERED IN FUR?

188. WHEN?

189. AND WHO ELSE DO YOU KNOW THAT WAS THAWED FROM A HUGE BLOCK OF

190. ICE?

191. WHO? WHO?

192. GOSH.

193. KNOW-IT-ALL SCIENTIST.

194. BOY, LINK REALLY RIPPED HIM A NEW BRAIN HOLE, DIDN'T HE?

195. MMM, YES.

196. I DON'T KNOW, DAD.

197. I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT HIM.

198. ABOUT LINK?

199. OREL, HE'S A PROFESSIONAL RIGHT-WING TALK-SHOW HOST.

200. THAT MEANS HE'S GOD'S MOUTHPIECE.

201. AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT IT'S, UH, A SIN TO WORRY ABOUT GOD'S

202. MOUTHPIECE.

203. SON?

204. OH, OKAY.

205. WELL, I THINK I'LL GO OVER TO FORGHETTY'S FOR A

206. NIGHTCAP.

207. BYE!

208. HAVE FUN, DEAR.

209. YAH-HA!

210. HE'S NOT SO TOUGH.

211. GRAB HIS LEGS.

212. GRAB HIS LEGS.

213. ALL RIGHT.

214. HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO.

215. Rev. LOCK HIM IN THE FREEZER WHILE WE DECIDE WHAT TO

216. DO WITH HIM.

217. I HOPE THAT FAT PIG DOESN'T EAT ALL MY BAKE-SALE LEFTOVERS.

218. ALL RIGHT, NOW WHAT?

219. THAT THING IS DANGEROUS.

220. I KNOW.

221. LET'S GO DRINK ABOUT IT AT FORGHETTY'S.

222. GOOD IDEA!

223. HOW MANY FROZEN CREAM PUFFS DO YOU NEED, REVEREND FLASHWING?

224. MAKE IT A DOZEN, ZOREL.

225. I FEEL LUCKY TONIGHT.

226. GEE!

227. HELLO, GOODBYE!