Moral Orel 2x10

Directed by Chris McKay

After spending many nights alone, Reverend Putty sets his sights on Stephanie, but how will things work out between them?

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1. Howdy, Mr. Figurelli!

2. Hey there, Orel.

3. What can I get ya?

4. Well, my Dad needs a new belt.

5. Wore the last one out already, huh, kid?

6. Yeah.

7. Learning sure gets complicated sometimes.

8. Know what ya mean.

9. Reverend Putty!

10. Off the clock, buddy.

11. Just stocking up on a few unmentionables.

12. Well, look at this!

13. Haven't seen one of these in years.

14. Gee, it's just a trash can, Reverend.

15. Just a trash can?

16. Orel, this is a heart-shaped trash can.

17. Oh...

18. For the bedroom.

19. The ladies go nuts for it.

20. They do?

21. Better than raw oysters and a bottomless bank account.

22. Had one just like this years ago,

23. but it mysteriously disappeared.

24. Golly!

25. Who do you think stole it?

26. Some cad.

27. Yep, this little baby's a big seller.

28. Great for holding all kinds of bedside trash.

29. You know, tissues, empty lotion bottles, tainted socks.

30. Yeah, great. I'll take it.

31. Keep the change.

32. Heh, virgins...

33. always born every minute.

34. Hi ya, Stephanie!

35. Orel, You're right on time!

36. Yep.

37. Okay.

38. Give it your best shot.

39. Well, I just know church is going to be really swell

40. this Sunday.

41. You say that every week.

42. I know, but Reverend Putty's really been on fire lately!

43. Okay, Orel, you talked me into it.

44. Oh, all right.

45. Maybe next wee— Wait, I did?

46. You're coming to church tomorrow?

47. Yep, Let's see what this Reverend Putty of yours

48. is made of.

49. Oh boy!

50. That's great, Stephanie!

51. I...

52. Wow!

53. See ya tomorrow, Orel.

54. Yeah!

55. Uh... boy!

56. Oh boy!

57. "Oh boy" is right.

58. Ahhh!

59. Aw, forget it.

60. I'm not going to beg!

61. Those days are over.

62. Okay, fine!

63. Lord, Putty here.

64. Reverend Putty, for what that's worth.

65. I don't know what the deal is with you,

66. but I do and do and do for you, and all I ask

67. is one measly thing in return!

68. Seriously, is a lady that difficult to conjure up?

69. I mean, you make trees for a living!

70. And I'm saying it could be any lady!

71. Any shape, any size, any colo— I mean, any weight.

72. The point is, I'm not picky.

73. Amen.

74. Hello, Miss Censordoll!

75. How's the bedside waste basket working out, Reverend?

76. Not now.

77. Humph.

78. Hi, Orel.

79. Stephanie!

80. You're actually here!

81. Yeah.

82. Orel...

83. Who's your friend?

84. This is Stephanie!

85. Stephanie, this is the Reverend Putty.

86. Charmed...

87. Nice place you have here, Revs.

88. See you inside, Orel.

89. Revs...

90. You better fasten your seat belt, Puppington.

91. This week's sermon's gonna make your head spin.

92. Golly!

93. "Be fruitful and multiply!"

94. An order from God.

95. Let's do the math on this little doozy, shall we?

96. He's not just saying "Be Fruitful and Add," right?

97. And he's not saying "subtract" or "divide,"

98. or "take the square root of blah blah blah!"

99. No! Multiply!

100. The Lord wants us to get busy and fast, like little rabbits!

101. So that means we all have to work together on this.

102. No playing "hard-to-get" or pulling the old

103. "let's-just-be-friends switch-a-roo.

104. Are you following me, ladies?

105. Because remember this — when you're "stuck up"

106. you're gonna end up getting "stuck down"...

107. in Hell!

108. Amen.

109. Amen.

110. Okay, keep it moving.

111. God be with you.

112. Reverend, I agree with you — Let's go, let's go!

113. Show's over, folks.

114. Drink!

115. Praise the Lord!

116. Everybody out! Hey, hey, hey!

117. Where you rushing off to, Little Lady?

118. Nice talking up there, Revs.

119. I admire your subtlety.

120. Would you like to meet for lunch sometime?

121. Sure. I could eat.

122. How's now?

123. Now's a little soon.

124. I mean, tomorrow.

125. Now, now. What is "now"?

126. That's ridiculous, I didn't — I don't even know

127. what "now" means.

128. Is "now" even a word?

129. Let me take it for a little test drive.

130. Now—now—now-now-now.

131. Nope, doesn't mean a thing.

132. Tomorrow.

133. Yeah.

134. Tomorrow's good for me.

135. You think she's your type?

136. Type?

137. There's a saying in the God business —

138. "If they're praying out of fright,

139. they're staying overnight."

140. This is it. This is it.

141. This is it. This is it.

142. This is it. This is it.

143. This is it. This is it.

144. This is it. This is it.

145. So... piercings, a nutty haircut, and lunch

146. with a man of the cloth.

147. What is your deal?

148. I'm your daughter.

149. Uh-huh.

150. Okay.

151. And I'll be a black fireman.

152. Reverend Putty...

153. Call me, Rod.

154. Rod Putty?

155. Speaking...

156. Okay, Rod.

157. Do you remember Gladys Foamwire?

158. The spinster?

159. Yeah.

160. Gave me the heebie jeebies.

161. Don't get me wrong, nice gams for an older woman,

162. but weird.

163. Gladys was my mom.

164. Come on!

165. She's a religious nut.

166. And here in Moralton, that's saying something.

167. She wasn't only obsessed with God.

168. She also had a passion for pastors.

169. Oh...

170. so you're a chip off the ol— No.

171. I'm a chip off your ol' block.

172. You're my dad.

173. Please!

174. How can I be your dad?

175. I've never even had sex...

176. with Gladys Foamwire.

177. Well, it seems she got a hold of your sperm.

178. Okay!

179. Not dinner conversation!

180. I'm going!

181. Yes?

182. I'm sorry.

183. I know our "date" turned out to be a dud.

184. Understatement...

185. Look, lady, I don't know who you are,

186. but I guarantee you that it is physically impossible

187. that I am your — My old tissue pail!

188. Where'd you get this?

189. My mom.

190. Oh.

191. Come in.

192. Before she died, she gave me the basket,

193. and told me all the "fun-filled" circumstances

194. of my beginnings.

195. Huh boy...

196. Turns out she started spying on you for weeks

197. before she even made her move.

198. She had your whole routine down.

199. This is a nightmare...

200. One night, she waited till you were finished.

201. Apparently you pass out pretty hard and quick,

202. big guy.

203. Please get to the end of the story.

204. Then she crawled through the window,

205. swiped it and left.

206. Figures that that's how I get a daughter.

207. It just isn't fair!

208. Uh, I mean, I never even got to enjoy

209. your best years.

210. Believe me.

211. The best years weren't as interesting as my conception.

212. Yeah, well, on your end, maybe.

213. On my end, even your conception was a yawner.

214. There's no rule that says I have to be a virgin.

215. I could have consummated with your mother in a proper fashion.

216. Well, all my mom wanted from you was your sperm.

217. Oh geez!

218. I'm telling you, that stuff's way overrated.

219. It's the least interesting part of me.

220. I mean, on the outside, I'm so much more... fun.

221. Apparently, there was a little life left in the ol'

222. tissue basket that night.

223. Lousy tissue basket gets all the luck...

224. So I know that we don't have any kind

225. of connection or relationship besides our teensy weensy DNA.

226. I just wanted to fill you in on this funny little story.

227. Yeah.

228. Um, we don't need to tell anyone else any of this —

229. Oh yeah, I really wanna shout it from

230. the highest mountain.

231. Orel!

232. What are you doing here?

233. Oh, hi Reverend Putty!

234. I just came by to hang out a little with my pal!

235. Oh, well, sorry I wasn't here when you arrived.

236. No, I mean Jesus!

237. Oh, yeah.

238. Him.

239. Orel, what makes you so happy?

240. Gee, I don't know, Reverend.

241. What makes someone not happy?

242. Gee, I don't know, Orel.

243. Life?

244. Hmmm.

245. I do get down sometimes...

246. but that's when I'm confused and not sure of things.

247. Ever get lonely?

248. Nope.

249. Okay, well, this is pointless...

250. There's just so many ways not to be lonely!

251. There are friends, family, faith...

252. Hey, those are all "F" words!

253. I wonder if there are other ways not to be lonely that also

254. start with "F."

255. Think of any, yet?

256. Um, no.

257. Holy Moley...

258. You are pure pureness in its purest form.

259. It's almost irritating.

260. But tell me more, Orel!

261. Well...

262. Wait!

263. Oh, Up here?

264. Yeah yeah yeah!

265. Golly!

266. Well, I think that as long as you have at least one

267. of those "F" words in your life, you can't be lonely!

268. For you see, a lot of the problems start

269. when people get too greedy and want all the "F" words,

270. and don't appreciate the ones that they have.

271. Then they're just making their lives miserable.

272. And who ever heard of someone

273. actually wanting to make his life miserable?

274. Amen.

275. Amen.

276. Reverend Putty?

277. Hi.

278. You're not gonna flash me, are you?

279. Nah.

280. I just came in to... uh...

281. Would you like A nipple piercing?

282. No, I couldn't.

283. Then what do you need?

284. Um.

285. Well, you see, Stephanie...

286. Yes, Reverend?

287. You know what?

288. Let's cut just the Reverend stuff, huh.

289. What would you prefer?

290. Pastor?

291. Minister?

292. Brother?

293. Rod?

294. How about Father?

295. Sounds a little too Catholic, doesn't it?

296. Hmm.

297. You're right.

298. Better make it Dad.

299. Hello, goodbye!