1. Howdy, Mr. Figurelli!
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2. Hey there, Orel.
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3. What can I get ya?
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4. Well, my Dad needs a new belt.
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5. Wore the last one out
already, huh, kid?
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6. Yeah.
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7. Learning sure gets complicated
sometimes.
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8. Know what ya mean.
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9. Reverend Putty!
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10. Off the clock, buddy.
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11. Just stocking up
on a few unmentionables.
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12. Well, look at this!
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13. Haven't seen one of these
in years.
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14. Gee, it's just
a trash can, Reverend.
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15. Just a trash can?
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16. Orel, this is a heart-shaped
trash can.
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17. Oh...
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18. For the bedroom.
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19. The ladies go nuts for it.
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20. They do?
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21. Better than raw oysters
and a bottomless bank account.
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22. Had one just like this
years ago,
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23. but it mysteriously disappeared.
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24. Golly!
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25. Who do you think stole it?
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26. Some cad.
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27. Yep, this little baby's
a big seller.
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28. Great for holding all kinds
of bedside trash.
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29. You know, tissues, empty
lotion bottles, tainted socks.
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30. Yeah, great. I'll take it.
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31. Keep the change.
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32. Heh, virgins...
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33. always born every minute.
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34. Hi ya, Stephanie!
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35. Orel, You're right on time!
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36. Yep.
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37. Okay.
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38. Give it your best shot.
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39. Well, I just know church
is going to be really swell
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40. this Sunday.
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41. You say that every week.
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42. I know, but Reverend Putty's
really been on fire lately!
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43. Okay, Orel,
you talked me into it.
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44. Oh, all right.
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45. Maybe next wee— Wait, I did?
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46. You're coming to church
tomorrow?
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47. Yep, Let's see what
this Reverend Putty of yours
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48. is made of.
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49. Oh boy!
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50. That's great, Stephanie!
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51. I...
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52. Wow!
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53. See ya tomorrow, Orel.
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54. Yeah!
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55. Uh... boy!
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56. Oh boy!
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57. "Oh boy" is right.
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58. Ahhh!
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59. Aw, forget it.
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60. I'm not going to beg!
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61. Those days are over.
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62. Okay, fine!
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63. Lord, Putty here.
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64. Reverend Putty,
for what that's worth.
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65. I don't know
what the deal is with you,
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66. but I do and do and do for you,
and all I ask
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67. is one measly thing in return!
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68. Seriously, is a lady
that difficult to conjure up?
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69. I mean, you make trees
for a living!
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70. And I'm saying
it could be any lady!
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71. Any shape, any size, any colo—
I mean, any weight.
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72. The point is, I'm not picky.
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73. Amen.
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74. Hello, Miss Censordoll!
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75. How's the bedside waste basket
working out, Reverend?
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76. Not now.
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77. Humph.
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78. Hi, Orel.
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79. Stephanie!
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80. You're actually here!
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81. Yeah.
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82. Orel...
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83. Who's your friend?
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84. This is Stephanie!
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85. Stephanie, this is
the Reverend Putty.
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86. Charmed...
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87. Nice place you have here, Revs.
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88. See you inside, Orel.
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89. Revs...
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90. You better fasten
your seat belt, Puppington.
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91. This week's sermon's gonna
make your head spin.
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92. Golly!
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93. "Be fruitful and multiply!"
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94. An order from God.
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95. Let's do the math
on this little doozy, shall we?
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96. He's not just saying
"Be Fruitful and Add," right?
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97. And he's not saying
"subtract" or "divide,"
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98. or "take the square root
of blah blah blah!"
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99. No! Multiply!
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100. The Lord wants us to get busy
and fast, like little rabbits!
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101. So that means we all have
to work together on this.
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102. No playing "hard-to-get"
or pulling the old
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103. "let's-just-be-friends
switch-a-roo.
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104. Are you following me, ladies?
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105. Because remember this —
when you're "stuck up"
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106. you're gonna end up getting
"stuck down"...
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107. in Hell!
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108. Amen.
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109. Amen.
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110. Okay, keep it moving.
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111. God be with you.
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112. Reverend, I agree with you —
Let's go, let's go!
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113. Show's over, folks.
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114. Drink!
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115. Praise the Lord!
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116. Everybody out! Hey, hey, hey!
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117. Where you rushing off to,
Little Lady?
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118. Nice talking up there, Revs.
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119. I admire your subtlety.
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120. Would you like to meet
for lunch sometime?
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121. Sure. I could eat.
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122. How's now?
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123. Now's a little soon.
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124. I mean, tomorrow.
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125. Now, now. What is "now"?
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126. That's ridiculous, I didn't —
I don't even know
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127. what "now" means.
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128. Is "now" even a word?
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129. Let me take it
for a little test drive.
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130. Now—now—now-now-now.
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131. Nope, doesn't mean a thing.
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132. Tomorrow.
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133. Yeah.
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134. Tomorrow's good for me.
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135. You think she's your type?
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136. Type?
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137. There's a saying
in the God business —
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138. "If they're praying
out of fright,
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139. they're staying overnight."
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140. This is it. This is it.
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141. This is it. This is it.
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142. This is it. This is it.
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143. This is it. This is it.
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144. This is it. This is it.
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145. So... piercings,
a nutty haircut, and lunch
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146. with a man of the cloth.
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147. What is your deal?
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148. I'm your daughter.
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149. Uh-huh.
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150. Okay.
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151. And I'll be a black fireman.
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152. Reverend Putty...
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153. Call me, Rod.
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154. Rod Putty?
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155. Speaking...
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156. Okay, Rod.
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157. Do you remember Gladys Foamwire?
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158. The spinster?
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159. Yeah.
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160. Gave me the heebie jeebies.
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161. Don't get me wrong,
nice gams for an older woman,
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162. but weird.
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163. Gladys was my mom.
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164. Come on!
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165. She's a religious nut.
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166. And here in Moralton,
that's saying something.
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167. She wasn't only
obsessed with God.
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168. She also had a passion
for pastors.
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169. Oh...
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170. so you're a chip off the ol—
No.
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171. I'm a chip off your ol' block.
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172. You're my dad.
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173. Please!
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174. How can I be your dad?
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175. I've never even had sex...
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176. with Gladys Foamwire.
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177. Well, it seems
she got a hold of your sperm.
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178. Okay!
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179. Not dinner conversation!
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180. I'm going!
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181. Yes?
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182. I'm sorry.
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183. I know our "date"
turned out to be a dud.
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184. Understatement...
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185. Look, lady, I don't know
who you are,
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186. but I guarantee you
that it is physically impossible
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187. that I am your —
My old tissue pail!
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188. Where'd you get this?
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189. My mom.
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190. Oh.
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191. Come in.
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192. Before she died,
she gave me the basket,
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193. and told me all
the "fun-filled" circumstances
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194. of my beginnings.
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195. Huh boy...
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196. Turns out she started spying
on you for weeks
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197. before she even made her move.
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198. She had your whole routine down.
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199. This is a nightmare...
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200. One night, she waited
till you were finished.
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201. Apparently you pass out
pretty hard and quick,
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202. big guy.
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203. Please get to the end
of the story.
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204. Then she crawled
through the window,
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205. swiped it and left.
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206. Figures that that's how
I get a daughter.
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207. It just isn't fair!
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208. Uh, I mean,
I never even got to enjoy
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209. your best years.
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210. Believe me.
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211. The best years weren't
as interesting as my conception.
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212. Yeah, well, on your end, maybe.
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213. On my end, even your conception
was a yawner.
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214. There's no rule
that says I have to be a virgin.
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215. I could have consummated with
your mother in a proper fashion.
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216. Well, all my mom
wanted from you was your sperm.
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217. Oh geez!
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218. I'm telling you,
that stuff's way overrated.
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219. It's the least interesting
part of me.
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220. I mean, on the outside,
I'm so much more... fun.
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221. Apparently, there was
a little life left in the ol'
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222. tissue basket that night.
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223. Lousy tissue basket
gets all the luck...
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224. So I know that
we don't have any kind
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225. of connection or relationship
besides our teensy weensy DNA.
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226. I just wanted to fill you in
on this funny little story.
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227. Yeah.
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228. Um, we don't need to tell
anyone else any of this —
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229. Oh yeah, I really wanna
shout it from
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230. the highest mountain.
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231. Orel!
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232. What are you doing here?
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233. Oh, hi Reverend Putty!
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234. I just came by to hang out
a little with my pal!
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235. Oh, well, sorry I wasn't
here when you arrived.
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236. No, I mean Jesus!
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237. Oh, yeah.
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238. Him.
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239. Orel, what makes you so happy?
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240. Gee, I don't know, Reverend.
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241. What makes someone not happy?
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242. Gee, I don't know, Orel.
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243. Life?
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244. Hmmm.
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245. I do get down sometimes...
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246. but that's when I'm confused
and not sure of things.
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247. Ever get lonely?
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248. Nope.
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249. Okay, well, this is pointless...
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250. There's just so many ways
not to be lonely!
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251. There are friends, family,
faith...
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252. Hey, those are all "F" words!
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253. I wonder if there are other ways
not to be lonely that also
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254. start with "F."
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255. Think of any, yet?
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256. Um, no.
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257. Holy Moley...
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258. You are pure pureness
in its purest form.
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259. It's almost irritating.
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260. But tell me more, Orel!
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261. Well...
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262. Wait!
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263. Oh, Up here?
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264. Yeah yeah yeah!
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265. Golly!
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266. Well, I think that as long
as you have at least one
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267. of those "F" words in your life,
you can't be lonely!
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268. For you see,
a lot of the problems start
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269. when people get too greedy
and want all the "F" words,
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270. and don't appreciate
the ones that they have.
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271. Then they're just making
their lives miserable.
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272. And who ever heard of someone
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273. actually wanting to make
his life miserable?
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274. Amen.
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275. Amen.
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276. Reverend Putty?
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277. Hi.
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278. You're not gonna
flash me, are you?
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279. Nah.
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280. I just came in to... uh...
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281. Would you like
A nipple piercing?
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282. No, I couldn't.
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283. Then what do you need?
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284. Um.
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285. Well, you see, Stephanie...
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286. Yes, Reverend?
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287. You know what?
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288. Let's cut just
the Reverend stuff, huh.
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289. What would you prefer?
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290. Pastor?
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291. Minister?
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292. Brother?
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293. Rod?
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294. How about Father?
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295. Sounds a little too Catholic,
doesn't it?
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296. Hmm.
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297. You're right.
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298. Better make it Dad.
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299. Hello, goodbye!
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