1. Aah!Copy !req
2. Rad Cunningham,Copy !req
3. President of the Academy
of Sharts and Sciences.Copy !req
4. I love your puny wheels, Dazzle.Copy !req
5. You kiss your grandmother
with that car?Copy !req
6. At least I don't drive
a big, dumb idiot mobile.Copy !req
7. Well, I bet this idiot
can beat you to work.Copy !req
8. - Not a chance.
- Well, how about this?Copy !req
9. If I win,
I get your parking space.Copy !req
10. - You're on.Copy !req
11. Ooh.Copy !req
12. Crap.Copy !req
13. Looks like I've only
got one option,Copy !req
14. the Quintriple Flip N' Split.Copy !req
15. I got Dazzle's parking space!Copy !req
16. The space I always wanted...
I got the space!Copy !req
17. Dazzle, which spot
is the closest?Copy !req
18. The closest
or the second closest?Copy !req
19. Damn it, Rad, you know
the closest is the closest.Copy !req
20. Ha!
He said it, everyone!Copy !req
21. Closest is the closest!Copy !req
22. Closest is the closest!Copy !req
23. Second closest
is the farthest away!Copy !req
24. Oh, it's like
it's in another state!Copy !req
25. Ba-do-do-doodle-loo-loo!Copy !req
26. Whoo-whoo-whoo!Copy !req
27. Hi, Dazzle.Copy !req
28. Ah, so relaxed.Copy !req
29. With all the walking
time I saved,Copy !req
30. I leisurely drank
a whole cup of coffee.Copy !req
31. Looks pretty full to me.Copy !req
32. Nope, just one more sip.Copy !req
33. Oh!Copy !req
34. And now I'm only two steps
from the elevator.Copy !req
35. One... two.Copy !req
36. - Hold the door, asshole.
- Sorry.Copy !req
37. This thing can't hold
more than one douche bag.Copy !req
38. So you're saying
you're a douche bag?Copy !req
39. - Uh, wait, uh...Copy !req
40. No, no, no.Copy !req
41. Okay, Shimmerman.Copy !req
42. You show us where you've got
those girls chained up,Copy !req
43. and maybe I won't break
your goddamn nose.Copy !req
44. I haven't the faintest clue
what you're talking about.Copy !req
45. Then buckle up, asshole.Copy !req
46. I bark, but my partner bites.Copy !req
47. Show him, Dazzle!Copy !req
48. Is he okay?Copy !req
49. Could you excuse us just
a minute, please?Copy !req
50. Dazzle, you're embarrassing
me in there!Copy !req
51. Are you upset because Rad
parked barely closer than you?Copy !req
52. Yes, that's all I'm upset about.Copy !req
53. Certainly not the dark shadowCopy !req
54. of the Quintriple Flip N' Split,Copy !req
55. which haunts me every day.Copy !req
56. What are you talking about?Copy !req
57. If you're trying to rip open
my childhood wounds,Copy !req
58. you can forget about it.Copy !req
59. I am definitely not...Copy !req
60. Fine, you twisted my arm.Copy !req
61. I was 15 years old,
in the hot, sticky centerCopy !req
62. of the greatest summer
of my life,Copy !req
63. working in the high-octane,
rip-and-occasionally-roaringCopy !req
64. stunt spectacular.Copy !req
65. I spent each day helping out
the baddest, assiestCopy !req
66. stunt driver on the planet,
my father, Razzle Novak.Copy !req
67. Bing, bang, boom.Copy !req
68. I wanted to be just like him,Copy !req
69. albeit, with a clean slate,
STD-wise.Copy !req
70. Rumor has it
he ran the venereal gamut.Copy !req
71. By summer's end,
I'd developed an incurable tasteCopy !req
72. for a spicy delicacy
called danger.Copy !req
73. That's not fair!Copy !req
74. Why can't I drive in the show?Copy !req
75. Hmm. How can I put
this delicately?Copy !req
76. You're the worst driver
I've ever seen.Copy !req
77. I knew he was saying
those things just to protect me.Copy !req
78. Now, you may think
I'm just saying these thingsCopy !req
79. to protect you,
but your driving blows, baby.Copy !req
80. He would rather break my heart
than put it in danger.Copy !req
81. Feel free to put yourself
in danger anywhere else,Copy !req
82. just not here
where my stunt buds can see.Copy !req
83. You're wrong, Dad!
And I'll prove it!Copy !req
84. Attention!Copy !req
85. The great Dazzle NovakCopy !req
86. is about to perform
the Quintriple Flip N' Split!Copy !req
87. No, son, you could
never pull it off!Copy !req
88. The triqumple maybe,
but not the quintriple!Copy !req
89. Was that your son?Copy !req
90. No, not my son.Copy !req
91. Definitely not my son.Copy !req
92. My dad banned me
from the track,Copy !req
93. and we haven't spoken since.Copy !req
94. To get my danger fix,
I was forced to become a cop,Copy !req
95. which was going okay
until this parking thing.Copy !req
96. Now there is but one path
to my redemption.Copy !req
97. It doesn't involve rescuing
some kidnapped girls, does it?Copy !req
98. - Nope.
- I didn't think so.Copy !req
99. I need to learn
to drive my dick off.Copy !req
100. And there's only one man who
can help me drive my dick off.Copy !req
101. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
102. Once I kill that idiot
Officer Speed Damon,Copy !req
103. I'll take over the schools
with my machineCopy !req
104. that turns rock music
into drugs.Copy !req
105. (all)
Boo!Copy !req
106. Aw, boo!Copy !req
107. Are you kids or ghosts?Copy !req
108. Who's gonna stop me?Copy !req
109. I don't see Officer Damon
anywhere!Copy !req
110. - He's behind you!
- He's right behind you, idiot!Copy !req
111. - Where?
- Right here, Don Fatsoli!Copy !req
112. Ow, you stupid
cop-compoop!Copy !req
113. No!
Why, you...Copy !req
114. Aw!Copy !req
115. And cut!Copy !req
116. In the role
of Officer Speed Damon,Copy !req
117. give it up for 40-year
stunt veteran Razzle Novak!Copy !req
118. Enjoy the rest of your day
at Mooniversal Studios.Copy !req
119. Excuse me.Copy !req
120. My son can't see.Copy !req
121. Get a taller son.
What do you want from me?Copy !req
122. Remember, kids,Copy !req
123. try any and all
of these stunts at home.Copy !req
124. It's the only way
you're gonna learn.Copy !req
125. There were two things
racing 100 miles an hour today...Copy !req
126. Your car and my heart.Copy !req
127. Do I hear the soundCopy !req
128. not of burning tires
but of yearning eye tears?Copy !req
129. Razzle.Copy !req
130. Dazzle.Copy !req
131. Razzle.Copy !req
132. Dazzle.Copy !req
133. Razzle.Copy !req
134. Dazzle.Copy !req
135. - Razzle.
- Dazzle!Copy !req
136. Quitting time.
Pretty good day, huh, boss?Copy !req
137. Well, four of our officersCopy !req
138. were accused of sodomizing
a suspect with a broom, so, no!Copy !req
139. Yeah, solid day all around.Copy !req
140. Now to cap this perfect dayCopy !req
141. with a perfect walk
to my perfect space.Copy !req
142. One.Copy !req
143. Two... Aah!Copy !req
144. Hello, I am Valid-8.Copy !req
145. Please insert validation.Copy !req
146. Oh, let me just,
uh, find the ticket.Copy !req
147. Please insert validation.Copy !req
148. Give me a sec. Just having
trouble finding the...Copy !req
149. - Please insert validation.
- Listen, asshole!Copy !req
150. I'm Rad Cunningham,Copy !req
151. the hottest cop
with the toppest spot.Copy !req
152. I'm exempt from tickets!Copy !req
153. Your complaints are invalid.Copy !req
154. Please insert validation.Copy !req
155. What?Copy !req
156. God, there's so many zippers
in this thing.Copy !req
157. How about you insert validation?Copy !req
158. Just give me a second!
Maybe it's in a pocket.Copy !req
159. Here's a thought.
Please insert validation.Copy !req
160. - Aah!Copy !req
161. Move it, Rad!
I've got front-row seatsCopy !req
162. for Stratus & Dunn
at the Moonbeam Heliodrome.Copy !req
163. I am trying, Pizzaz!
Stupid bitch.Copy !req
164. What did you say?Copy !req
165. Uh, I said, stupid rich am I,Copy !req
166. so I can easily pay
the lost-ticket fee.Copy !req
167. Lost ticket pays $30 maximum.Copy !req
168. Aah!Copy !req
169. I can't believe it!
$13?Copy !req
170. No, $30!Copy !req
171. Aah!Copy !req
172. Wow, you are still
going strong, Dad.Copy !req
173. Most men your age
only get lit on fireCopy !req
174. in Christmas tree accidents.Copy !req
175. Shh, here's
a little trade secret.Copy !req
176. It's not fire.Copy !req
177. It's faux-ire, a safe,
non-hot fire substitute.Copy !req
178. Look close.Copy !req
179. It's tinted green.Copy !req
180. Rub it on your arms.Copy !req
181. Put some in your mouth.Copy !req
182. Ah, what a refreshing
lemon-lime kick.Copy !req
183. Hey, Razz, we're
heading up to Breakaways.Copy !req
184. You want a ride?Copy !req
185. Let's burn rubber, baby.Copy !req
186. (man)
I'm missing my daughter's
wedding, asshole!Copy !req
187. God, why did I come
to work today?Copy !req
188. That's it, Rad.
I'm gonna find your ticket.Copy !req
189. Then I'm gonna find a Rad-sized
meat grinder to throw you in.Copy !req
190. No, no, no,
don't look at this stuff!Copy !req
191. Is this your check
for one and a half cents?Copy !req
192. Yes, I was an extra on a TV
in a mirror in a porno.Copy !req
193. Jesus Christ.
Is this a used condom?Copy !req
194. A barely used condom.Copy !req
195. What the hell is Spineflex?Copy !req
196. Ha ha.Copy !req
197. You know, it's pills that
gradually curve your spine.Copy !req
198. Why would anyone
want to do that?Copy !req
199. Uh, you know,
so I can go more forward.Copy !req
200. Forward?Copy !req
201. Into my lap...Copy !req
202. with my... mouth.Copy !req
203. Your mouth?Copy !req
204. You know, my mouth
wants to be friendsCopy !req
205. with that area of my body.Copy !req
206. Ugh! Rad, you are the most
disgusting personCopy !req
207. I have ever met!Copy !req
208. You are!Copy !req
209. Whoa!Copy !req
210. Should we exchange
insurance information?Copy !req
211. Uh, the jukebox
won't take my quarters.Copy !req
212. It don't run on quarters.Copy !req
213. Runs on heads.Copy !req
214. You got a lot to learn
about stunt bars, city boy.Copy !req
215. Dazzle, this is my old
stunt pal Kitch Legstrong.Copy !req
216. He plays that villainous oaf,
Don Fatsoli.Copy !req
217. Oh, wow!Copy !req
218. You are so funny.Copy !req
219. What a stupid klutz.Copy !req
220. You're a living joke!Copy !req
221. Ha ha ha.
Yeah, that's me.Copy !req
222. Goddamn barrel of laughs.Copy !req
223. I've spent years exposing
his heart-covered boxers.Copy !req
224. That's right.
Still funny.Copy !req
225. Hearts on a man's underpants...Copy !req
226. How ridiculous!Copy !req
227. Got 'em on tonight?Copy !req
228. Watch it, Novak.Copy !req
229. All in good fun, Legstrong.Copy !req
230. Someday your underpants
are gonna be underground...Copy !req
231. Six feet under...Copy !req
232. with you in them,
'cause you'll be dead...Copy !req
233. in your underpants...Copy !req
234. in a coffin.Copy !req
235. Please insert validation!Copy !req
236. Aah! Let me talk
to a freaking human being!Copy !req
237. Hello!Copy !req
238. I am Assistroid.Copy !req
239. How can I be of assistance?Copy !req
240. You can tell this bot-brained
bot-brain to let me the eff out!Copy !req
241. Did you insert validation?Copy !req
242. Please insert validation.Copy !req
243. Ah, stop it!Copy !req
244. My arm!Copy !req
245. - You killed Valid-8!Copy !req
246. Murderer!Copy !req
247. Human maniac on the loose!Copy !req
248. Subject has not been validated!Copy !req
249. Don't go down there, Rad!Copy !req
250. No one's gone below P-6
and made it out alive!Copy !req
251. I tried to warm him, right?Copy !req
252. Somebody heard that.
I was warning the guy.Copy !req
253. All right, anyway.Copy !req
254. So, Dazzle, what brings you back
after all these years?Copy !req
255. Please don't say money.
Please don't say money.Copy !req
256. I need your guidance
to perfect a certain stunt,Copy !req
257. a stunt so stuntastic,
it could...Copy !req
258. Don't say it.Copy !req
259. A stunt so stunterrific,
it would...Copy !req
260. Don't you dare say it.Copy !req
261. Will you teach me to...Copy !req
262. No, the Quintriple Flip N' SplitCopy !req
263. is too dangerous for you!Copy !req
264. Whatever criminal you're trying
to catch, it's not worth it.Copy !req
265. Oh, it's not for a criminal.Copy !req
266. I lost a really great
parking spaceCopy !req
267. because I couldn't do the stunt,Copy !req
268. and so now I need to learn it to
protect future parking spaces.Copy !req
269. Oh, why didn't you say so, baby?Copy !req
270. That changes everything.Copy !req
271. It's like you always said.Copy !req
272. The dumber the reason,
the more it must be done.Copy !req
273. Yes, that's the stuntman credo.Copy !req
274. Warning, severe foot damage.Copy !req
275. Ahh, ha ha!
Oh, God, got to hide.Copy !req
276. Hey, a vent, but I'll never fit
through there.Copy !req
277. I'm not the flexible.Copy !req
278. Spineflex!Copy !req
279. Hmm, I don't feel anything.Copy !req
280. Yah!Copy !req
281. Ugh, can we not sit
in the splash zone?Copy !req
282. I don't want to get all wet.Copy !req
283. Where else can we go?Copy !req
284. There's no seats
left in the Drench Nook.Copy !req
285. Hello, boys and girls.Copy !req
286. My name is Razzle Novak.Copy !req
287. I've been putting
the "stravaganza"Copy !req
288. in "stuntstravaganza"Copy !req
289. for over 20 years,Copy !req
290. but today's show is special.Copy !req
291. It's dedicated to my son.Copy !req
292. This stunt's for you, Dazzle.Copy !req
293. Bing, bang, boom.Copy !req
294. He's going
for the Flip N' Split!Copy !req
295. Oh, God, is he hurt?Copy !req
296. Don't worry.
It's all part of the show.Copy !req
297. This is not part of the show!Copy !req
298. What an odd line
to be part of the show.Copy !req
299. Turn my mic off so the kids
don't hear me say Razzle's dead!Copy !req
300. - Dad!Copy !req
301. This is all my fault.Copy !req
302. You can't blame yourself.Copy !req
303. Your elderly father chose to
perform a very dangerous stunt.Copy !req
304. You're right.Copy !req
305. The only man to blame
is Rad Cunningham.Copy !req
306. No, that's not what I meant.Copy !req
307. Today as I stand in
the deepest valley of despair,Copy !req
308. Rad is gloating
on the highest peak of ecstasy.Copy !req
309. Aah!
My bones and skin!Copy !req
310. Who's there?
Who's there?Copy !req
311. We are the denizens
of P-174.Copy !req
312. We live here
under cover of shadow,Copy !req
313. having refused to pay
the lost-ticket fees.Copy !req
314. Tell me, how much
do they charge now?Copy !req
315. 30 bucks.Copy !req
316. Really?
Used to be 40.Copy !req
317. They actually lowered it.Copy !req
318. Where are you, unvalidated one?Copy !req
319. Quick, hide!Copy !req
320. It's Assistroid.Copy !req
321. My eyes!Copy !req
322. How do I get out here?Copy !req
323. Out?
There is but one way out...Copy !req
324. The Shaft of Infinite Sorrow
and Climbing.Copy !req
325. So there it is.Copy !req
326. Better get started,
because it's a long climb.Copy !req
327. Dazzle, check this out.Copy !req
328. I've been watching the footage
of your father's death.Copy !req
329. You sick freak.Copy !req
330. I always pegged you
as a snuff fan.Copy !req
331. No, look at this.
The explosion...Copy !req
332. - It's bright orange.
- My God.Copy !req
333. See, it's not sweet,
lemon-limey faux-ire.Copy !req
334. It's hot, burny fi-ire.Copy !req
335. Someone must have
switched it out,Copy !req
336. and I think
I have a good idea who.Copy !req
337. I say we head over
to Mooniversal Studios,Copy !req
338. see what he knows.Copy !req
339. He will never confess to us.Copy !req
340. The stuntmen are
a very secretive fraternity.Copy !req
341. If Legstrong's beans
are to be spilled,Copy !req
342. he'll only do it
to one of his own.Copy !req
343. I hope this works.Copy !req
344. Just stick
to my masculine script.Copy !req
345. You'll be fine.Copy !req
346. You okay, chief?Copy !req
347. I missed a, uh, crash pad,Copy !req
348. sprained my scrote.Copy !req
349. Name's Ram Cloutwood.Copy !req
350. Can you hook a stunt brother
up with some painkillers?Copy !req
351. Sure, if you're a real stuntman.Copy !req
352. Let me see
the stuntman handshake.Copy !req
353. Uh, stuntmen don't shake hands,Copy !req
354. 'cause only sissies
touch each other?Copy !req
355. Right.
Follow me.Copy !req
356. I got some real potent
Vicopercoxyxanosecodryne.Copy !req
357. So you know what
gets my rocks off?Copy !req
358. Murder.Copy !req
359. You don't say.Copy !req
360. But, uh, what makes me
spooge big-timeCopy !req
361. is describing the murder
to a stranger.Copy !req
362. You're an interesting man,
Cloutwood.Copy !req
363. I am interesting and a man.Copy !req
364. So got any sweet murder
deets for me?Copy !req
365. Eh, can't say I do.Copy !req
366. Oh, well, there was
this one time.Copy !req
367. Yesterday...Copy !req
368. I offed a real piece
of human garbage.Copy !req
369. No way is he talking
about my dad.Copy !req
370. His name was Razzle Novak.Copy !req
371. He drove me up the wall
for years.Copy !req
372. Those heart boxers,Copy !req
373. the shrieks of the crowd,
the shame,Copy !req
374. their high-pitched laughs
stabbing meCopy !req
375. like little sound knives,
all 'cause of Razzle Novak.Copy !req
376. Well, I took care of Razzle,Copy !req
377. and if I see his boy again...Copy !req
378. You'll do what, Legstrong?Copy !req
379. That's him!Copy !req
380. The son from
the story I just told!Copy !req
381. Cloutwood, let's kill him and
get us a couple murder boners.Copy !req
382. I'm afraid this man
is a fe-man.Copy !req
383. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I lied.Copy !req
384. Now we're gonna lock you upCopy !req
385. where you can never kill
my father anymore.Copy !req
386. Okay, we could settle this
like men,Copy !req
387. or we could settle this
like stuntmen.Copy !req
388. Do you mean...Copy !req
389. Yes!
A stunt-off!Copy !req
390. You've got yourself a deal.Copy !req
391. Why would you agree to that?Copy !req
392. We have his confession on tape.
Let's arrest him.Copy !req
393. So what, we just bring him inCopy !req
394. to our same dumb office
we're at all the time?Copy !req
395. That's boring.
You're boring.Copy !req
396. We're doing
the stunt-off.Copy !req
397. Okay, first stuntman to performCopy !req
398. the ten stuntiest stuntsCopy !req
399. in the mega-stunt warehouse
wins the stunt-off.Copy !req
400. Are we clear, fellas?Copy !req
401. - Yeah!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
402. Ready! Set! Drop!Copy !req
403. Yee-haw!Copy !req
404. So what, is this like a race?Copy !req
405. No, it's a stunt-off.
Jeez!Copy !req
406. Oh, no!
Dazzle keeps hitting things.Copy !req
407. Hitting things is good
in a stunt-off.Copy !req
408. Why aren't you getting this?Copy !req
409. Fall into death's arms,
unvalidated one.Copy !req
410. Ah, never!Copy !req
411. Ah, brick wall!Copy !req
412. Damn.
Kitch is winning.Copy !req
413. He's nearly achieved
maximum stuntitude.Copy !req
414. 'Tis my darkest hour.Copy !req
415. What do I do?Copy !req
416. Dazzle...Copy !req
417. Razzle?Copy !req
418. Dazzle, baby.Copy !req
419. I have come to guide you
from the realm of the ethanol.Copy !req
420. Do you mean "ethereal"?Copy !req
421. Probably.Copy !req
422. Even from Heaven,Copy !req
423. you are clearly losing
this stunt-off.Copy !req
424. There's only one stunt
stunty enoughCopy !req
425. to defeat Legstrong.Copy !req
426. Quintriple Flip N' Split.Copy !req
427. You've made me
the proudest ghost in Heaven!Copy !req
428. Say hi to Grandpa Frazzle
for me.Copy !req
429. Actually,
Grandpa Frazzle's in hell.Copy !req
430. He did terrible,
terrible things.Copy !req
431. Kitch Legstrong,
you are under arrest.Copy !req
432. Chrysalis,
de-pants this man!Copy !req
433. - No!Copy !req
434. A permanent space
in my dad's honor...Copy !req
435. I'm speechless.Copy !req
436. You put that sign
there yourself.Copy !req
437. Shh.
Don't ruin the moment.Copy !req
438. Oh, my God.
I made it!Copy !req
439. Unvalidated one captured.Copy !req
440. Initiate decapitation protocol.Copy !req
441. No, no, no, no, no!
Please don't, please don't!Copy !req
442. Jesus, Rad.Copy !req
443. This is still going on?
Pay the damn fine!Copy !req
444. Okay, okay, I'll pay,
I'll pay, I'll pay.Copy !req
445. Final fee is $30,
plus one destroyed Valid-8,Copy !req
446. plus emotional damage
for Valid-8's family.Copy !req
447. Our poor son.Copy !req
448. Subject owes...Copy !req
449. $1.2 million.Copy !req
450. What?Copy !req
451. Rad, until you pay
this robot back,Copy !req
452. you're suspended.Copy !req
453. Oh, where am I gonna
pick up another job?Copy !req
454. Shut up,
you snot-nosers!Copy !req
455. I'd like to see your faces
on milk cartons!Copy !req
456. Ah, it's an
all-I-can-eat boo-ffetCopy !req
457. with a complimentary hiss bar!Copy !req
458. Wow, he is
so effortlessly hateable.Copy !req
459. (all)
Boo!Copy !req
460. We hate you, Rad!Copy !req
461. Boo!Copy !req
462. Hey, look, everyone,
my dad's ghost.Copy !req
463. - Chirp.
- Yay!Copy !req
464. (man)
Boo!Copy !req
465. Guitar solo!Copy !req
466. Oh, sax!Copy !req