1. (man)
Welcome, fellow anarchists.
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2. I am, of course,
Chief Anarchist Slice Anchorson.
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3. First order of business—
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4. Uh, don't you mean
first disorder of chaos?
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5. Quiet! I have the floor!
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6. The floor belongs
to everyone!
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7. That's communism.
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8. This is anarchism.
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9. We don't believe
in communism?
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10. We don't believe
in nothing.
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11. Yes, we do.
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12. Whew! These guys
are real idiots.
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13. Agreed. Let's just go
in there.
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14. On your mark, get set, go.
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15. Fire!
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16. Get out of here
in a disorderly fashion!
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17. Crap.
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18. - Double crap.
- Here comes backup.
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19. Oh, God! There were
14 officers in there.
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20. It's okay, folks.
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21. We're cops.
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22. Shoot at the base of the flames
where the fire's brains are.
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23. Oh, God, no. Not again.
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24. It's the fire department!
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25. (man)
Ladies and gentlemen,
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26. put your hands together
for the star
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27. of your Moonbeam City
Municipal Fire Department,
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28. yours truly,
Sizzle Conrad.
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29. No!
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30. Sizzle, have sex with me!
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31. Really? Sizzle Conrad?
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32. How could anyone be attracted
to that showboating hose-monkey?
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33. What's the matter,
Dazzle, jealous?
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34. Give it up for Associate
Nozzle Grip Chill Calloway.
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35. Wha—he looks like me!
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36. And Junior Forensic
Flameologist Arista Boyd.
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37. How can she afford
those frames
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38. on a junior
flameologist's salary?
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39. I've got a baby!
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40. Watch me fly, ladies.
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41. Ugh! Showoff.
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42. Congratulations, idiots.
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43. Not only did you
not arrest Slice Anchorson,
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44. but you handed the goddamn
fire department
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45. another huge victory.
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46. Don't you ever get tired
of losing?
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47. Sizzle Conrad
is the loser.
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48. That ladder jockey's lucky
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49. there's so many fires
all the time.
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50. It's not our fault
there are no crimes to solve.
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51. There's a gang war
going on right behind you.
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52. That war's been
brewing for years.
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53. You're living
in the past, Pizzaz.
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54. I say we fight
firefighters with fire.
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55. Meaning what exactly?
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56. I don't know.
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57. Burn down the fire station.
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58. Oh,
The mayor.
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59. (man)
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mayor E.O. Jackson.
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60. Ah, Chief Miller,
sorry for your loss.
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61. You guys put on a better funeral
than the fire department.
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62. I'll give you that.
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63. Must be all the practice
you get.
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64. Thank you, sir.
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65. And don't worry about
Slice Anchorson.
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66. We'll track him down.
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67. Don't bother.
Sizzle Conrad ran him over
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68. with his fire engine
on the way home
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69. from the blaze yesterday.
Thank God for the Sizz Man.
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70. Am I right,
anonymous civic employee?
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71. Seriously? It's me—
Dazzle Novak.
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72. The Dazz Man.
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73. Anyway,
I've been thinking.
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74. Since the fire department is
able to do their job and yours,
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75. maybe we don't need
a police department anymore.
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76. You're firing us?
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77. No, no, no.
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78. You'll all be given new jobs
in the fire department.
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79. How'd you like
to be a hose reeler-inner?
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80. Oh, Chief Miller,
you'd make a fine pole shiner.
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81. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
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82. With all due respect,
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83. Mr. Mayor,
I do feel that the city
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84. still needs
a police department.
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85. - Why?
- Oh, hey, drugs!
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86. You need cops
to fight drugs, right?
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87. Moonbeam City
doesn't have a drug problem.
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88. We have grum.
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89. Six homeless people
died using it last month.
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90. Eh, why
should I care about six bums
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91. who couldn't even be bothered
to own homes?
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92. Hey-yo, we going or what?
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93. Hey, right behind you,
Sizz Man.
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94. Listen, gang, I gotta go.
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95. ¡Vamonos!
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96. Mr. Mayor,
what if I told you
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97. that Moonbeam City was
about to be ravaged
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98. by a drug epidemic
so devastating,
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99. it'll make yesterday's
warehouse fire look
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100. like Hiroshima—
pre-World War II
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101. when it was a beautiful
and vibrant city
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102. and it was the pearl
of Honshu.
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103. Hmm. Drug epidemics
make national headlines.
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104. This might be just what
Moonbeam City needs. Yeah.
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105. But if there's
a new drug coming,
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106. wouldn't you rather
nip it in the bud?
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107. There's no glory
in nipping things in the bud.
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108. If you went back in time
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109. and killed Hitler
when he was a baby,
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110. people would just say,
"Oh, my God.
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111. That lady killed a baby."
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112. No. I like my drug scourges big!
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113. Just like my warehouse fires
and my police chief ta-tas.
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114. Congrats, police department,
you ain't fired yet. Heh heh.
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115. Ugh, this is grum?
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116. It looks and smells
like powdered horse manure.
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117. I think it is, mostly.
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118. - I want to smell it.
- Rad!
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119. Wow, it's really euphoric.
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120. It's like my ears
are on a cloud.
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121. Well, I guess
it's harmless.
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122. I wonder why
it never caught on.
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123. Aah!
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124. Well, we can't start
a drug epidemic with this.
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125. We need something sexy and fun.
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126. I'm going
to go down to the chemistry lab.
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127. Maybe those nerds
can whip up a new drug for us.
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128. Wait, we're gonna create
a drug ourselves?
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129. Does the mayor
know about this?
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130. He really scares me.
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131. We don't need
to tell the pharaoh
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132. how the pyramids are built.
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133. They just need to get built!
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134. Believe me, the less that
whack-job knows, the better.
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135. My ankles are on fire!
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136. But my shins are freezing.
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137. My God, he is innocent!
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138. I've got one minute
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139. to get this evidence
to death row before they—
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140. Drop everything, Jericho.
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141. Good. I've got
a new job for you.
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142. Top secret, and you
answer only to me.
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143. But they're gonna
execute this man—
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144. Damn it, Jericho,
I don't have time to argue.
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145. There's drugs to be made.
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146. I did it.
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147. I did it!
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148. It's 100% pure.
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149. - Pure what?
- I don't know!
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150. Ladies and gentlemen,
I, and I alone,
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151. give you glitzotrene.
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152. Yeah, well let's see
if it's any good.
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153. - Don't!
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154. Uh... that's—
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155. You can't snort glitz
with your nose!
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156. It's meant to be administered
intra-earaly, with your ear.
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157. All right, everybody,
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158. we got a drug epidemic
to start
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159. and,
ideally, quickly end.
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160. Let's get this stuff out
on the streets.
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161. I hate you!
Stop looking at me!
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162. This stuff really gets
the creative juices flowing.
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163. You can feel sweet beats
swimming through your veins
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164. and tasty licks boning
your in your brains.
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165. One hit of this,
you'll be as skinny
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166. as one of those begging kids
from the commercials.
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167. Dazzle thinks he's so cool.
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168. But one day I'll have
my chance to be cool.
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169. Then we'll see how cool being
cool really is—
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170. Aah!
Ah, rats!
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171. Skunk!
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172. We are live as flames
have engulfed
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173. the Theta Tau
sorority house,
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174. considered by many
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175. to be the hottest sorority
at Moonbeam Polytechnic.
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176. It appears
that two utterly bodacious babes
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177. are trapped on an upper floor.
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178. Jump, girls,
into my jacked arms.
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179. And there they go
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180. right into the arms
of Moonbeam Fire's five-alarm
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181. super hunk, Sizzle Conrad.
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182. Fire makes me hot.
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183. Mmm.
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184. Oh, yeah.
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185. I don't know
who to be jealous of.
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186. Well, Miller,
this glitz stuff has really
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187. taken the city by storm.
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188. Even my son is addicted.
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189. His life is ruined.
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190. Yes, well,
that's quite a tragedy.
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191. Tragedy? I did six national
TV interviews this morning.
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192. My son's an addict too.
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193. I'm a regular person
just like them. Heh.
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194. I think
I should run for governor.
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195. You should! Yes!
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196. Then you can move
to the capital,
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197. which coincidentally,
is very far from here.
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198. Say, Miller, why don't you
and me have lunch sometime?
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199. You know,
you... lunch with me.
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200. Underwear lunch
with all the fixings.
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201. Sorry, I don't think I have
time for underwear lunch.
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202. But thank you.
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203. We could do it after work.
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204. A midnight underwear lunch.
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205. It'll be a quickie,
I promise,
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206. as long as I don't have
a solo underwear lunch
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207. earlier in the day.
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208. Wow. You are...
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209. quite the charmer, sir.
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210. Well, Miller,
I won't keep you.
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211. I'm sure you're all busy
planning the take down
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212. of whichever drug lord
is responsible for this mess.
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213. Oh, yes, we are, sir.
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214. We're very busy.
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215. You're not lying
to me, are you, Miller?
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216. My snow leopards
can smell lies,
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217. like I can smell
beautiful feet.
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218. Well, they don't need
to bother with me.
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219. Heh heh. No lying here.
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220. Oh, boy,
go get, 'em Dazz Man.
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221. Moonbeam City's
counting on you.
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222. What about me?
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223. Back to your cell,
pervert!
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224. Heh heh.
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225. Ah, he called
me Dazz Man.
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226. Eat it, Sizzle Conrad!
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227. Now let's go bust
this drug lord.
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228. Damn it, Dazz Man,
there is no drug lord.
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229. Obviously this glitz business
has to end with an arrest.
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230. What the hell
are we going to do now?
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231. Come on,
think of something, Chrysalis.
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232. You've been absolutely
no help thus far.
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233. I haven't helped
because this whole thing's
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234. a terrible idea.
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235. But if you want
to arrest someone,
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236. let's just find a patsy.
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237. Yes, we'll blame it
on the Irish.
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238. No, a patsy, a fall guy.
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239. You need to create
a fake glitz kingpin,
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240. then we'll take him down
and look like heroes.
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241. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
I like it.
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242. I like it. But who can we get
to be this villain?
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243. Me!
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244. If I can't be the hero,
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245. being a villain is
the next best thing.
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246. At least villains
are feared and respected
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247. and not mistaken
for sex offenders.
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248. Rad is inherently
unlikeable.
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249. That's true. People hate Rad
even when he's doing good.
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250. Remember when he visited
that special needs school?
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251. Those kids usually hug
everything.
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252. They said they
weren't allowed to hug.
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253. Congratulations,
Rad, you've got the job.
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254. Yes! Yes! Yes!
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255. Rad, get down to wardrobe
right away.
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256. And, Dazzle,
you make sure that glitz
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257. keeps flowin' 'til
we wrap this up.
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258. Cancel your weekend
plans, Jericho.
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259. We're gonna need you here
around the clock making glitz.
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260. But my daughter's wedding
is this weekend.
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261. Well, you better hire
a good videographer
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262. to capture those
once-in-a-lifetime moments,
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263. because you are
going to miss 'em.
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264. - Now let's get cracking.
- But I—
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265. Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go.
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266. I've had enough of this.
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267. I think it's time to play
a little trick on Dazzle Novak.
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268. Returning
your sex offender costume?
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269. What? No!
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270. These are my
regular clothes.
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271. I need a new costume.
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272. I'm going to be Moonbeam City's
number one-o drug lord.
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273. Okay.
What do you need?
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274. What do you got?
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275. Oh, look
at the drug lord,
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276. so dangerous
and respectable.
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277. Yes! Respect!
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278. Moonbeam City, get ready
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279. to meet your new best frenemy,
with benefists.
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280. Yeah! Ha! Fooh!
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281. In drug lord news,
the new power rankings are in,
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282. and—shocker—
we have a new number one.
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283. Grum kingpin Helix Salazito
has been dethroned
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284. by exciting newcomer
Raduardo Glitzcobar.
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285. Joining us to talk
about these developments,
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286. Moonbeam City Chief
of Police Pizzaz Miller.
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287. Well, Genesis,
I can assure your viewers
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288. that, uh, Raduardo
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289. is very dangerous
and extremely real.
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290. I see.
And what of the rumors
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291. of Raduardo's strange,
malformed genitalia?
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292. Um, would that
make him scarier?
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293. - I think so.
- Then yes.
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294. Chilling.
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295. Welcome to Casa Raduardo.
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296. It's beautiful.
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297. Rad, you hole up here
until 6:00 Friday night.
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298. Then we'll storm the place,
bring you in. Got it?
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299. So elegant.
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300. - Rad!
- What?
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301. Did you hear the plan?
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302. Yes, I heard.
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303. Now, if I may get
into character—
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304. get the
out of my house!
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305. There was shark aquarium
in the master bedroom.
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306. All right,
we'll see ya on Friday.
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307. Here you go, boss.
This week's take.
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308. $42?
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309. Sorry, Helix,
nobody's buying grum anymore.
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310. It's all about
glitzotrene now.
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311. That freak Raduardo has
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312. the market locked up along
with midget sex slaves I heard.
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313. That's the rumor.
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314. Bring me the head
of Raduardo Glitzcobar.
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315. Yes. And the body?
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316. How would you get
the head without the body?
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317. By killing him
and cutting the head off.
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318. What? No, don't kill him.
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319. Just bring him here.
Send a car.
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320. Si, si, si, si. Yes.
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321. Got any glitz?
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322. Sorry, friend,
no glitz here.
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323. Ah, nobody has any.
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324. What do you mean
nobody has any?
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325. Don't worry, everyone.
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326. I am a police officer.
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327. More drugs are coming.
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328. Jericho, where are you?
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329. Hmm. Looks like Jericho
played a little trick on me.
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330. Suicide.
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331. The oldest trick in the book.
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332. Hmm.
"... financial problems..."
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333. Boring, boring, boring, boring.
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334. "Dazzle Novak...
narcissist, prick...
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335. race baiting."
Hmm.
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336. Hmm. Well, he probably didn't
realize it,
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337. but I actually come off pretty
badly in this suicide note.
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338. Let me just punch it
up a little.
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339. "I'm sorry I let everyone
down, especially Dazzle.
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340. "He's such a great guy.
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341. "Whatever you do,
don't blame him for anything.
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342. "Well, gotta go.
Time to suicide myself.
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343. Selfishly yours, Jericho."
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344. God damn it!
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345. So we can't make any more
glitz?
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346. Stand by for the mayor.
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347. Miller, glitz numbers
are dropping.
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348. There's neighborhoods
on the south side
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349. that are now safe
to walk through, at night even.
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350. That is indeed
troubling news, sir.
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351. Well, I guess
I can shut down
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352. the police department
after all.
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353. Actually, we've located
the Glitzcobar compound.
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354. We're getting ready to raid it.
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355. Yeah, this Friday night.
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356. - I'm almost done.
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357. Quick retracting.
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358. Friday night?
Oh, good. Very good.
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359. We'll have live news coverage,
the works.
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360. Oh, I can't wait for you
to nail that Raduardo.
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361. There's something about him
I find really irritating.
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362. The drug trafficking,
sir?
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363. No, no, no.
It's his face.
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364. - Oh, his face.
- He's got one of those
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365. faces you just want to punch
for days.
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366. - Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- Heh heh heh heh.
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367. After all my years
of suffering and abuse,
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368. things are finally going my way!
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369. I get to live in a mansion,
wear these cool clothes,
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370. and frighten children.
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371. It's everything
I ever dreamed of.
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372. Whoo-hoo! Oh!
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373. Oh! What's happening?
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374. His drug decimated a city.
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375. His legend frightened a nation.
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376. His faced annoyed a planet.
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377. Friday night at 6:00—
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378. it... all... ends.
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379. Don't miss the thrilling capture
of Raduardo Glitzcobar
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380. broadcast live
from the Glitzcobar compound,
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381. featuring Dazzle Novak and
Moonbeam City police department
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382. with special appearance
by mayor E.O. Jackson
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383. and musical guest Soul Shadow.
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384. Friday at 6:00. Be there.
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385. I'm mayor E.O. Jackson,
and I approve this drug bust.
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386. Today we bring
Raduardo Glitzcobar to justice
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387. and take back the streets
of Moonbeam City.
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388. So let's do this.
Three, two, one.
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389. Surrendo, Raduardo.
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390. Miller, where
the hell is Glitzcobar?
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391. I don't know
what happened.
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392. Someone must've
tipped him off.
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393. Damn it.
Where the hell is Rad?
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394. Do you know who I am?
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395. The bandleader
on that Mexican talkshow?
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396. No.
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397. You want me
to guess again?
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398. Sure.
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399. Freddy Frijole,
the cartoon mascot
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400. for those canned beans?
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401. I'm not Freddy Freakin'
Frijole!
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402. I am Helix Salazito.
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403. I used to run
the grum racket around here,
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404. and then you showed up
with your pretty pink powder.
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405. You have cost me
a lot of money,
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406. and now it's time
to earn it back.
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407. Ohh...
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408. All right.
Mouth or butt?
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409. No! You're going to teach
my men how to make glitz.
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410. I am?
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411. Engage your peripheral vision.
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412. - Uh...
- You do know how
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413. to make glitz?
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414. Do I know—ha ha!
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415. Yeah.
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416. We were able to collect
DNA from the...
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417. the present
left on Raduardo's pillow.
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418. It matches a known Salazito
associate, Fusion Hernandez.
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419. I knew it was him.
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420. That guy loves to
on pillows.
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421. So Rad's dead, huh?
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422. I didn't say that.
I bet the Salazitos took him
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423. and are forcing
him to make glitz for them.
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424. This is a disaster.
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425. Rad was wearing over
a million dollars worth
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426. of police issued
tactical jewelry.
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427. Do you understand?
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428. We have got
to find that costume!
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429. And...
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430. done!
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431. Done? It's supposed
to be pink.
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432. Why is it salmon?
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433. Because
it's extra strength.
Copy !req
434. Okay, then try it.
Copy !req
435. I actually gave up glitz
for Lent.
Copy !req
436. - It's October.
- Jewish Lent.
Copy !req
437. That starts the third week
of July this year.
Copy !req
438. Now do it!
Copy !req
439. - That's weird.
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440. He's
out of his eyes.
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441. Oh, Dios, someone lock him
in a bathroom
Copy !req
442. - until he's done.
- Oh!
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443. Have any glitz?
Anyone have any... glitz?
Copy !req
444. The Salazito compound has
to be around here somewhere.
Copy !req
445. Ugh! I need glitz.
Copy !req
446. Poor bastards.
That bastard chemist
Copy !req
447. Jericho Becker got 'em addicted
to his wonder drug
Copy !req
448. and then stopped making it.
Heartless bastard.
Copy !req
449. Aah!
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450. No more screwing around,
Raduardo.
Copy !req
451. Make it right this time.
Copy !req
452. Uh...
Copy !req
453. Unless you don't know
how to make it.
Copy !req
454. Maybe you're just a fraud.
Copy !req
455. Maybe you're not
a powerful drug lord at all.
Copy !req
456. If that's the case,
Copy !req
457. then you might
as well leave right now.
Copy !req
458. No!
I am.
Copy !req
459. Then make the glitz.
Copy !req
460. I don't know
how not to make gliss.
Copy !req
461. Glitz. Glitz.
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462. I hope Rad isn't actually
trying to make glitzotrene.
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463. He knows nothing
about chemistry.
Copy !req
464. One wrong combination and—
Copy !req
465. Let's go!
Copy !req
466. Firemen?
Copy !req
467. Oh, God!
Copy !req
468. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Copy !req
469. No!
Copy !req
470. Those Dalmatian
diddling glory hogs.
Copy !req
471. They're going
to hog all the glory.
Copy !req
472. Look, Sizzle captured
Raduardo Glitzcobar.
Copy !req
473. Go, Sizzle, go!
Copy !req
474. Oh, my chiseled face!
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475. Well, at least
he was horribly burned.
Copy !req
476. All those Sizzle groupies
are gonna be flocking to me now.
Copy !req
477. Ah, Sizzle Conrad!
Copy !req
478. Did you hear?
Copy !req
479. Sizzle has sexy new scars
and a cool mask! Aah!
Copy !req
480. Hey, what's up, ladies?
Copy !req
481. Y'all want to rub my mask?
Copy !req
482. - Aah!
- Ow!
Copy !req
483. That is it.
You are under arrest
Copy !req
484. for coveting a burn face
over a perfect diamond.
Copy !req
485. Well, at least the mayor
Copy !req
486. decided not to dissolve
the police department.
Copy !req
487. Yeah, I wonder why.
Copy !req
488. Let's just say I was able
to broker a deal.
Copy !req
489. Now, if you'll excuse me,
Copy !req
490. I'm late for
my thrice weekly...
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491. lunch with the mayor.
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492. But you just ate
20 minutes ago.
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493. I know. The things
I do for Moonbeam City.
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494. Ah, lunchtime.
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495. Hey, why are you going
into that supply closet?
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496. Do they serve food
in there?
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497. Pizzaz.
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498. Here you go.
Copy !req
499. Sorry I burned the clothes,
and the jewelry kind of
Copy !req
500. all melted together
into a big clump.
Copy !req
501. Oh, how'd it go?
Copy !req
502. Pretty terribly.
Copy !req
503. I did severe damage to almost
every major system in my body
Copy !req
504. and was almost killed
several times.
Copy !req
505. - Sorry to hear that, kid.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
506. Do you think I could
maybe keep the mustache?
Copy !req
507. Sure.
Copy !req
508. Thanks.
Copy !req
509. Ah ha ha ha ha ha.
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510. Ah hah hah hah hah hah hah!
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511. Ah hah-hah-hah-hah-hah
hah-hah-hah!
Copy !req
512. Chirp.
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