1. YES, THIS LOOKS
THE SORT OF THING.
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2. MAY I JUST TRY IT?
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3. CERTAINLY, MADAM.
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4. OH, SORRY, SO SORRY!
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5. YES, THAT'S FINE.
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6. IS THAT ON ACCOUNT,
MADAM?
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7. YES.
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8. HELLO?
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9. HELLO?
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10. OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
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11. SOMEONE ELSE.
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12. OH, I SEE, YES.
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13. I'M SORRY, SIR.
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14. CAN I HELP YOU?
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15. YES, YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
YOU CAN, ACTUALLY.
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16. THE POSSIBILITY OF PUR...
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17. CAN I ASK YOU
WHO YOU THOUGHT I WAS?
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18. WHAT?
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19. JUST THEN, WHEN YOU THOUGHT
I WAS SOMEBODY?
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20. OH, IT'S NO ONE YOU'D KNOW, SIR.
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21. WELL, I MIGHT KNOW THEM.
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22. IT'S POSSIBLE, OBVIOUSLY
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23. BUT I THINK IT'S
REALLY UNLIKELY.
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24. I MEAN, HE'S HARDLY
YOUR CIRCLES, SIR.
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25. WHY, IS HE VERY RICH?
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26. OH, NO, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT, SIR.
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27. IS HE A LORD OR SOMETHING?
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28. NOT AT ALL.
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29. WHAT IS HIS NAME?
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30. WHAT?
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31. WHAT IS HIS NAME?
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32. WELL, UH...
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33. YES?
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34. MICHAEL ELLIS.
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35. WHO?
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36. MICHAEL ELLIS.
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37. I SEE.
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38. DO YOU KNOW HIM, SIR?
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39. UH, MICHAEL ELLIS.
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40. MICHAEL ELLIS.
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41. YOU DON'T?
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42. WELL, I DON'T
REMEMBER THE NAME.
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43. REMEMBER HIM, SIR.
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44. WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
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45. WELL, WOULD YOU REMEMBER
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46. 40-ISH, AND HE'S GOT
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47. AND ABSOLUTELY NO NOSE?
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48. OH, I THINK I DO REMEMBER
SOMEBODY LIKE THAT.
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49. WELL, THAT'S NOT MICHAEL ELLIS.
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50. RIGHT...
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51. HE'S A SMALL MAN
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52. PITCHED VOICE.
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53. RIGHT, I'M NOT GOING TO
BUY AN ANT FROM YOU NOW.
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54. OH, NO, PLEASE.
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55. YOU'VE NOT BEEN
PROPERLY TRAINED.
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56. COME ON, PLEASE.
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57. I WANT ANOTHER ASSISTANT.
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58. ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET
ANOTHER ASSISTANT.
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59. THANK YOU.
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60. HELLO, SIR.
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61. CAN I HELP YOU?
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62. NO, I WANT
A DIFFERENT ASSISTANT.
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63. I AM, SIR... I'M
MR. ABANAZAR, SIR.
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64. DON'T BE SILLY.
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65. OH, NO, PLEASE, PLEASE
LET ME HELP YOU.
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66. NO! I WANT
ANOTHER ASSISTANT.
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67. OH, NO, COME ON, PLEASE.
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68. IF YOU DON'T...
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69. I'LL BE VERY GOOD,
SIR, REALLY.
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70. GOOD MORNING, SIR.
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71. HOW ARE YOU, SIR?
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72. TODAY, ISN'T IT, SIR?
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73. YOU'VE GOT THERE, SIR.
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74. RIGHT, I'M GOING.
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75. NO, NO, PLEASE.
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76. I'LL GET YOU
ANOTHER ASSISTANT.
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77. ALL RIGHT.
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78. IT'S NOT HIM.
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79. I DON'T WANT HIM.
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80. OH, PLEASE,
GIVE HIM A CHANCE.
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81. NO!
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82. YES, SIR, CAN I BE
OF ANY ASSISTANCE?
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83. OH, COME ON, DON'T TRY THAT.
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84. TRY WHAT, SIR?
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85. PERFECTLY WELL.
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86. GOING.
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87. I DON'T THINK
I WAS, SIR.
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88. GET THE MANAGER.
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89. A MISUNDERSTANDING, SIR.
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90. MANAGER!
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91. THIS IS THE MANAGER, SIR.
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92. WHAT?
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93. YES, I'M
THE MANAGER.
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94. SMASHING STORE, THIS.
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95. I CAN'T RECOMMEND IT TOO HIGHLY.
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96. WELL LIT, RAT-FREE,
IT'S A JOY TO MANAGE.
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97. OH, YES, FRESHEST HADDOCK
IN LONDON, SECOND FLOOR
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98. THIRD FLOOR RIBENA, ANTS HERE
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99. DINNER WAGON EXHIBITION.
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100. MANAGER!
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101. QUICK!
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102. YES, SIR, CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?
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103. YES, I WANT TO COMPLAIN
ON THIS COUNTER.
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104. I'M SORRY, SIR...
WHICH ONES?
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105. WELL, THEY'RE HIDING NOW.
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106. SIR?
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107. THEY'RE HIDING, DOWN THERE
BEHIND THE COUNTER.
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108. I SEE, SIR.
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109. WELL, THERE'S NOBODY
DOWN HERE, SIR.
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110. THROUGH "SOFT TOYS."
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111. YES, OF COURSE.
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112. TO BE THE MANAGER.
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113. OH, YES, I'M THE MANAGER.
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114. TO MANAGE, THIS.
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115. I'VE GOT IT, SIR.
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116. I THINK I'VE GOT IT...
IT'S RAG WEEK.
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117. RAG WEEK?
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118. YES, YOU KNOW,
FOR CHARITY, SIR.
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119. OH, I SEE, SOME LOCAL
COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY?
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120. NO, NO, IT'S
THE STORE'S RAG WEEK.
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121. THE STORE'S RAG WEEK?
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122. YES, THE SENIOR STAFF
DON'T JOIN IN MUCH.
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123. IT'S FOR THE TRAINEES,
REALLY.
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124. FOR BUSINESS, IS IT?
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125. OH, IT'S
FOR CHARITY, SIR.
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126. ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW.
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127. OH, I SEE.
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128. RIGHT, SIR, I'LL GET
YOU A SENIOR ASSISTANT.
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129. ANTS, WAS IT?
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130. YES, PLEASE.
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131. MR. SNETTERTON?
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132. I DON'T WANT HIM!
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133. OH, PLEASE,
GIVE ME A CHANCE.
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134. NO!
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135. ALL RIGHT, MR. HARTFORD.
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136. YES, GOOD
MORNING, SIR,
CAN I HELP YOU?
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137. YES, PLEASE, I'M INTERESTED
IN BUYING AN ANT.
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138. AH, YES, AND WHAT PRICE
OF PAYING, SIR?
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139. OH, WELL, I HADN'T
ACTUALLY GOT AS FAR AS THAT.
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140. WELL, SIR, THEY START
ABOUT HALF A p
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141. AS THREE p
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142. OR EVEN 3ス p FOR A CHAMPION.
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143. INFLATION, I'M AFRAID.
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144. WELL, I SHOULD THINK ONE
ABOUT 1ス p, PLEASE.
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145. AH, YES, WELL, YOU SHOULD GET
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146. FOR THAT, SIR.
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147. QUITE FRANKLY,
THE HALF-p ONES
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148. ARE A BIT
ON THE MANGY SIDE.
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149. THINKING OF?
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150. OH, MEDIUM?
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151. MEDIUM, MEDIUM,
MEDIUM, MEDIUM...
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152. YES, HERE WE ARE.
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153. NOW, THAT ONE THERE
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154. KING GEORGE BITCH, I THINK.
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155. IS AN AFGHAN.
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156. THAT'S A NICE ONE.
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157. LET'S SEE HOW YOU
GET ON WITH HIM, EH?
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158. AH, YES, HE LIKES YOU.
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159. HE'S TAKEN TO YOU.
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160. WHAT DO YOU FEED THEM ON?
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161. UH, BLANCMANGE.
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162. BLANCMANGE?
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163. I'M SORRY.
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164. I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT.
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165. NO, YOU DON'T FEED THEM AT ALL.
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166. WELL, WHAT DO THEY LIVE ON?
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167. THEY DON'T... THEY DIE.
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168. THEY DIE?
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169. WELL, OF COURSE
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170. IF YOU DON'T FEED THEM.
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171. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
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172. YOU LET THEM DIE,
ANOTHER ONE.
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173. IT'S MUCH CHEAPER
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174. AND THAT WAY, YOU HAVE
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175. OF LITTLE COMPANIONS.
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176. THAT'S THE ADVANTAGE
OF OWNING AN ANT.
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177. RIGHT, WELL,
I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.
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178. OH, DEAR,
I'VE DROPPED IT.
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179. NEVER MIND, HERE'S
ANOTHER ONE.
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180. ELSE I'LL NEED?
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181. YES, SIR, YOU'LL NEED
AN ANT HOUSE.
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182. WE RECOMMEND, SIR.
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183. WON'T IT GET OUT
OF THERE?
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184. YES.
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185. WHAT'S THE POINT
OF HAVING THE CAGE?
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186. WELL, NONE
AT ALL, REALLY.
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187. HIM ENTERTAINED.
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188. THERE'S AN ANT WHEEL,
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189. AND HERE'S A VERY
NICE ONE HERE, A
LITTLE LADDER.
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190. AND RING THE BELL.
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191. THAT'S A TRICK
HE CAN LEARN.
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192. LONG ENOUGH?
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193. NOT REALLY, NO, BUT
IT'S BEST TO HAVE ONE.
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194. AND HERE'S A TWO-WAY RADIO
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195. AND THEN OF COURSE,
YOU'LL NEED THE BOOK.
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196. THE BOOK?
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197. YES, YES,
THE BOOK ON ANTS.
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198. I SEE.
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199. SO, SIR, THAT IS, IF I MAY
SAY SO, 」1841ス p, SIR.
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200. WILL YOU TAKE A CHECK?
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201. YES, SIR, IF YOU
DON'T MIND LEAVING
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202. SCALP JUST HERE, SIR.
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203. SORRY, JUST FOR
IDENTIFICATION.
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204. CAN'T BE
TOO CAREFUL.
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205. WELL, I THINK I'LL PUT IT
ON ACCOUNT.
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206. I SHOULD, SIR.
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207. MUCH LESS PAINFUL.
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208. THERE WE ARE.
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209. ANYWAY, SIR, YOU
ABOUT AN ANT...
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210. A FRIEND FOR LIFE, EH?
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211. WELL, A FRIEND FOR
ITS LIFE, ANYWAY.
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212. NOW, THEN, HERE WE ARE.
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213. HIS NAME IS MARCUS.
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214. RIGHT, IF THE LITTLE
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215. TO AN EARLY GRAVE,
SIR, GIVE US A RING
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216. AND WE'LL STICK A FEW IN
AN ENVELOPE, ALL RIGHT?
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217. THANKS VERY MUCH INDEED.
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218. NOT AT ALL,
THANK YOU, MR. ELLIS.
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219. WHAT DID YOU SAY?
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220. "THANK YOU, MR. ELLIS."
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221. IT'S NOT HIM.
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222. WHY DID YOU SAY "MR. ELLIS"?
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223. WHO?
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224. NO, HE DIDN'T
SAY THAT.
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225. I HEARD HIM SAY,
"THANK YOU, MR. ELLIS."
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226. AH, NO, NO.
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227. HE SAID,
"I'M JEALOUS."
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228. WHAT?
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229. I'M JEALOUS
OF YOUR ANT.
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230. GOOD-BYE.
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231. BYE-BYE!
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232. I DON'T CARE
WHO MICHAEL ELLIS IS.
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233. ENLIGHTENMENT.
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234. EXCUSE ME, I WAS
IN THE ANT COUNTER AND...
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235. ENLIGHTENMENT.
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236. THE LORD
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237. THE PAPIST SWINE.
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238. Will Mr. Michael Ellis please go
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239. straight to
the manager's office.
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240. I'll repeat that...
will Mr. Nigel Mellish
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241. please go straight
to the manager's office.
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242. WHAT YOU GOT NOW?
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243. I BOUGHT AN ANT, MOTHER.
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244. ONE OF THEM FOR?
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245. I'M NOT GOING
TO CLEAN IT OUT.
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246. YOU SAID YOU'D
OUT, BUT DO YOU? NO.
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247. SUPPOSE YOU'VE LOST
INTEREST IN IT NOW.
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248. NOW IT'LL BE ANT-ANT-ANT
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249. "OH, MUM, I'VE BOUGHT
A SLOTH"
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250. UNGULATE LIKE A TAPIR.
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251. NO, IT'S REALLY
DIFFERENT THIS TIME, MUM.
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252. I'M REALLY GOING TO
LOOK AFTER THIS ANT.
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253. THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID
ABOUT THE SPERM WHALE.
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254. NOW YOUR PAPA'S HAVING
TO USE IT AS A GARAGE.
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255. WELL, YOU DIDN'T
FEED IT PROPERLY.
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256. 44 TONS OF PLANKTON
FROM EVERY MORNING?
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257. ABOUT THAT.
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258. IN THE DELI.
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259. WELL, AT LEAST HE'S
GOT A FREE GARAGE.
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260. THAT'S NO GOOD TO HIM.
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261. ALL FISHY.
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262. OH, BLIMEY, THAT'S THE TIGER.
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263. HE WANTS HIS MANDIES.
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264. THAT TIGER DRUGS?
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265. 'COURSE I'M GIVING IT DRUGS.
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266. IT'S ILLEGAL.
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267. TO THE TIGER.
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268. WELL, I THINK
IT'S DANGEROUS.
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269. LISTEN, BEFORE
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270. JEHOVAH WITNESSES A DAY.
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271. AND HE USED TO EAT ALL OF THEM,
EXCEPT THE PAMPHLETS.
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272. WELL, HE'S NOT DIM.
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273. ALL RIGHT!
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274. I'M GOING
TO WATCH TV.
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275. COME ON, MARCUS.
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276. MICHAEL'S BEEN ON THE PHONE
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277. ALL DAY FOR YOU.
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278. MICHAEL?
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279. YEAH, YOU KNOW, MICHAEL...
MICHAEL!
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280. MICHAEL ELLIS.
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281. YEAH, HE'S BEEN
ON THE PHONE ALL DAY.
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282. HE CAME ROUND TWICE.
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283. HE LOOK LIKE?
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284. OH, I DIDN'T
SEE HIM.
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285. ANSWERED THE DOOR.
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286. YOU EVER BOUGHT, THAT.
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287. WHERE IS HE NOW?
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288. HE'S UPSTAIRS FORGING
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289. FOR THE SODDING TIGER.
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290. NO, NO, WHERE IS
MICHAEL ELLIS NOW?
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291. OH, I DON'T KNOW.
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292. HE SAID IT WASN'T
IMPORTANT, ANYWAY.
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293. ALL RIGHT, HERE I COME.
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294. UM...
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295. Hello, and welcome
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296. to The University
of the Air.
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297. And first
this afternoon
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298. part 17
of our series
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299. on animal
communications.
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300. This afternoon, we look
at recent discoveries
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301. in the field of
intraspecific
signaling codes
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302. in the family
formicidae.
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303. OOH, THAT'S
A STROKE OF LUCK, MARCUS.
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304. BLOODY THING OFF!
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305. We interrupt
this program
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306. to bring you
the latest news
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307. of the extraordinary
Michael Ellis saga.
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308. Apparently Michael Ellis...
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309. HEY, I WAS WATCHING THAT!
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310. BLOODY THING.
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311. IT'S UPSETTING
THE TIGER.
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312. OH, CHRIST.
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313. ND OF THE ANNOUNCEMENT.
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314. HOMEOPATHIC PRACTICE.
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315. PART 68, "ANTS."
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316. AH! WE'RE IN LUCK AGAIN, MARCUS.
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317. Hello, formicidophiles.
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318. Well, before all the blood
and guts you're waiting to see
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319. let's have a look at the anatomy
of the little ant.
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320. The body of the ant is divided
into three sections...
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321. the head, the thorax
and the abdomen.
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322. They are enclosed in
a hard armorlike covering
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323. called the exoskeleton
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324. which provides some protection
from other nasty little insects
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325. but, unfortunately, not
from the dissector's scalpel.
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326. See, nothing to it.
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327. He's not such a toughie.
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328. And his legs...
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329. they help him carry
hundreds of times his own weight
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330. but look at this.
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331. You're not so strong
compared with me.
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332. Four, five, six... Ha!
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333. I DIDN'T KNOW ANTS HAD
SIX LEGS, MARCUS.
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334. I assure you,
they do, Mr. Ellis.
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335. HEY, YOU'VE GOT
TWO LEGS MISSING.
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336. AND THAT'S A FALSE FEELER,
MARCUS.
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337. BLIMEY!
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338. I'M TAKING THIS ANT
BACK, MOTHER.
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339. IT'S GOT TWO LEGS
MISSING.
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340. MRS. McWONG'S BEEN
ON THE PHONE.
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341. THE POLAR BEAR'S BEEN
IN HER GARDEN AGAIN.
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342. WELL, I'LL GET IT
FROM THE STORE.
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343. WELL, MIND YOU DO.
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344. ARE ENORMOUS.
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345. OH, AND BY THE WAY,
WHILE YOU'RE OUT
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346. OF TELLIES, WOULD YOU?
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347. HERE'S 180 QUID.
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348. SECOND FLOOR.
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349. STATIONERY, LEATHER GOODS,
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350. CRICKET BATS, FILM STARS,
DOLPHINARIUMS.
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351. THIRD FLOOR.
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352. COSMETICS, BOOKS,
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353. TRIBAL HEADGEAR, ANTS
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354. ABOUT ANTS.
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355. OH, WHERE DO I GO
TO COMPLAIN?
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356. STRAIGHT ON, THEN LEFT,
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357. WHERE IT'S GONE ALL SOFT
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358. THEN DOWN THE WOBBLY BIT,
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359. AND IT'S THE DOOR
MARKED "EXIT"
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360. ON THE LEFT.
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361. THANK YOU.
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362. FOURTH FLOOR.
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363. KIDDIES' VASECTOMIES...
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364. I DON'T WANT YOU.
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365. OH, SOMETHING WRONG WITH
YOUR LITTLE ANT FRIEND?
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366. NO, I'M NOT GOING
TO TELL YOU.
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367. OH, SOMETHING MISSING
IN THE LEG DEPARTMENT?
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368. NO.
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369. YES, SIR, CAN I
HELP YOU, SIR?
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370. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
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371. IT'S ALL RIGHT, SIR.
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372. IT'S FOR THE SACK RACE
LATER ON, SIR.
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373. NO, NO, NO, I WANT TO SPEAK
TO THE GENERAL MANAGER.
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374. I WANT TO COMPLAIN.
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375. OH, YOU WANT THE TOUPEE HALL,
IN THAT CASE, SIR.
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376. THE WHAT?
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377. THE TOUPEE HALL,
MR. ELLIS.
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378. EXCUSE ME,
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379. THE WAY TO
THE TOUPEE HALL, PLEASE?
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380. SORRY?
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381. THE TOUPEE HALL.
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382. THE WHAT?
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383. THE TOUPEE HALL.
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384. OH, THE TOUPEE HALL.
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385. GLADYS, WHERE ARE
TOUPEES NOW?
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386. TOUPEES?
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387. MM, THIS GENTLEMAN
WANTS ONE.
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388. A TOUPEE?
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389. MM.
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390. WELL, NO, ACTUALLY...
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391. OH, I THINK
THEY'RE IN SURGICAL
APPLIANCES NOW.
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392. OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
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393. YES, YOU GO LEFT
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394. AND IT'S ON YOUR LEFT
JUST BY GLASS EYES.
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395. IT DOESN'T SAY TOUPEES TO
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396. BUT YOU CAN SMELL THEM.
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397. THANK YOU.
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398. YOU CAN SEE THE JOIN.
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399. YES, YOU CAN.
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400. GOOD AFTERNOON,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
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401. IT'S SO NICE TO SEE SUCH
A LARGE TURNOUT THIS AFTERNOON.
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402. AND I'D LIKE TO START OFF
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403. MR. WADSWORTH...
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404. WORDSWORTH.
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405. SORRY, WORDSWORTH.
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406. MR. JOHN KOOTS
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407. AND PERCY BYSSHE.
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408. SHELLEY.
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409. JUST A LITTLE ONE,
MEDIUM DRY.
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410. AND ALFRED LORDE.
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411. TENNYSON.
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412. TENNISBALL.
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413. SON.
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414. SORRY, ALFRED LORD
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415. LORD TENNISBALL'S SON.
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416. I'M GOING TO ASK MR. WADSWROTH
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417. "I WANDERED LONELY AS A CRAB"
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418. AND IT'S ALL ABOUT ANTS.
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419. I WANDERED LONELY AS A CLOUD...
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420. OH!
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421. O'ER VALES AND HILLS
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422. WHEN ALL AT ONCE,
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423. A HOST OF GOLDEN WORKER ANTS.
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424. THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
MR. BRADLAUGH.
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425. NOW, MR. BYSSHE...
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426. SHELLEY.
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427. OH!
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428. ENTITLED "ODE TO A CRAB."
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429. WELL, IT'S NOT
ABOUT CRABS, ACTUALLY.
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430. IT'S CALLED
"OZYMANDIAS."
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431. IT'S NOT AN ODE.
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432. WHO SAID "SIX VAST
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433. "STAND IN THE DESERT.
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434. "AND ON THE PEDESTAL,
THESE WORDS APPEAR...
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435. "'MY NAME IS OZYMANDIAS,
KING OF ANTS.
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436. "'LOOK ON
MY FEELERS, TERMITES
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437. "'AND DESPAIR
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438. "'I AM THE BIGGEST ANT
YOU'LL EVER SEE.
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439. "'THE ANTS OF OLD
WEREN'T HALF AS BOLD
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440. AND BIG AND
FIERCE AS ME.'"
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441. THANK YOU.
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442. THANK YOU, MR. AMONTILLADO.
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443. I'D LIKE TO ASK ONE
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444. NOT TO SOIL THE CARPET.
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445. YOU FIND THE POEMS TOO EXCITING.
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446. GOOD AFTERNOON.
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447. NEXT, MR. DENNIS KEAT
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448. "ODE TO A GLASS OF SHERRY."
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449. I'D SEEN...
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450. A NASTY LONG-NOSED BRUTE...
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451. TONGUE.
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452. CRUNCH! CRUNCH! THERE GO MY LEGS
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453. SNAP! SNAP! MY THORAX, TOO.
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454. MY HEAD'S IN A TWAIN,
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455. SWALLOW, SWALLOW...
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456. IT'S TRUE,
DON'T YOU SEE?
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457. IT'S TRUE.
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458. IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS.
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459. PLEASE.
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460. I DO APOLOGIZE FOR THAT LAST...
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461. WELL, I HESITATE TO CALL IT
A PRAM.
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462. BUT I HAD NO IDEA.
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463. ABOUT THE CARPET.
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464. NOW, I DO APPRECIATE
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465. VERY FRIGHTENING, BUT PLEASE...
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466. NOW, BEFORE WE MOVE ON
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467. ENTITLED "THE CHARGE
OF THE ANT BRIGADE."
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468. HALF AN INCH...
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469. HALF AN INCH...
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470. THE QUEEN,
THE QUEEN.
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471. MY LOYAL SUBJECTS,
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472. NATIONAL IMPORT.
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473. HERE IN GERMANY... ER, ENGLAND.
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474. TENDENCY FOR ZE ENT...
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475. THE ENT... THE ANT
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476. TO BECOME THE DOMINANT...
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477. ENTWICKLUNGSBUND...
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478. THEME.
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479. HERE IN GERMANY.
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480. WE ARE NOT... AMUSIERT?
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481. ENTERTAINED.
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482. ENTERTAINED.
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483. FROM NOW ON,
ANTS IS VERBOTEN.
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484. INSTEAD, IT'S SKYLARKS,
DAFFODILS, NIGHTINGALES
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485. LIGHT BRIGADES AND...
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486. WAS IST DAS
SHCRECKLICHE GEPONG?
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487. UND SO WEITER.
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488. WELL, WE MUST AWAY NOW
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489. FOR THE RACES.
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490. GOD BLESS YOU, ALLES.
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491. PSST.
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492. OVER HERE, SIR.
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493. DON'T WORRY, SIR.
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494. YOU'RE AMONGST
FRIENDS NOW, SIR.
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495. MR. BRADFORD,
MR. CRAWLEY.
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496. FITTERS, SIR.
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497. WE'VE HAD A LOT
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498. AND WE DO
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499. SERVICE AVAILABLE.
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500. I DON'T KNOW
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501. BELIEVE THIS,
SIR
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502. BUT ONE OF US IS
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503. THIS MOMENT.
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504. WELL, YOU ALL ARE,
AREN'T YOU?
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505. HAVE YOU GOT ONE?
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506. NO, I THOUGHT YOU...
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507. I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU TWO...
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508. IT WAS ME.
I THOUGHT IT WAS ME.
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509. SO DID I.
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510. THAT IS GOOD.
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511. ACTUALLY, I ONLY CAME IN HERE
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512. THE MANAGER'S OFFICE WAS.
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513. JUST A MINUTE.
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514. WE ALL HAD TOUPEES?
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515. NO.
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516. OH, YEAH?
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517. HOW DID YOU KNOW?
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518. WELL, IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS,
ISN'T IT?
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519. WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
OBVIOUS?
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520. HIS IS
UNDETECTABLE.
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521. WELL, IT'S A
DIFFERENT COLOR,
FOR A START.
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522. IS IT?
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523. OF COURSE, IT ISN'T.
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524. IT DOESN'T FIT IN
OF HIS HAIR.
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525. THE MIDDLE.
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526. WELL, IT'S BETTER
THAN YOURS.
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527. YES.
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528. I'M NOT
ONE.
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529. IN HERE THEN?
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530. THE MANAGER'S OFFICE HERE.
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531. OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.
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532. THAT'S A BIT LAME,
ISN'T IT?
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533. IT'S THE TRUTH.
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534. MANAGER'S OFFICE?
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535. WHERE'D YOU
GET THAT, EH?
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536. MAC FISHERIES?
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537. DREADFUL,
ISN'T IT?
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538. NYLON?
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539. IT'S NOT, IT'S REAL, LOOK.
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540. YEAH, ANYONE
CAN DO THAT.
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541. COME ON, GET IT OFF.
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542. LOOK, DO YOU WANT
A PROPER ONE?
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543. NO, I DON'T
NEED ONE.
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544. THERE'S NO NEED
TO BE ASHAMED.
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545. LOOK, WE'VE ALL OWNED UP.
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546. I'M NOT WEARING ONE.
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547. DON'T YOU SEE,
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548. YOU'VE GOT TO COME
TO TERMS WITH.
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549. I AM NOT WEARING A TOUPEE.
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550. TO FIND THE MANAGER'S OFFICE
TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MY ANT.
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551. AN ANT?
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552. LOOK, THIS IS
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
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553. ALL RIGHT,
TAKE A SEAT.
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554. YOU SEE, IT OUGHT
TO HAVE A SAFETY CATCH.
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555. I MEAN...
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556. OOH!
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557. I MEAN, WHAT IF THIS FELL
INTO THE WRONG HANDS?
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558. YES, MADAM,
I'LL SPEAK
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559. PERSONALLY,
ALL RIGHT?
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560. OH, WOULD YOU?
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561. AT EASE.
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562. SORRY, OH, SORRY.
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563. NEXT.
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564. HE'S STILL
MOLESTING HER.
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565. YES, YES,
I'LL SEE YOU IN
A MOMENT, SIR.
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566. I'VE GOT A COMPLAINT TO MAKE.
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567. AH, TAKE A SEAT.
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568. I'M SORRY
IT'S ON FIRE.
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569. OH, NOT AT ALL.
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570. OUT EAST.
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571. AH, WHERE WERE YOU OUT EAST?
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572. OH, NORWAY, SWEDEN,
PLACES LIKE THAT.
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573. OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
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574. TO BE CATCHING FIRE.
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575. EXTINGUISHER?
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576. OH, NO, THANK YOU.
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577. I THINK WE'D BETTER
LET IT RUN ITS COURSE.
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578. VERY EAST, IS IT?
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579. NO, I SHOULD HAVE SAID,
"WHEN I WAS OUT NORTH."
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580. YES, ARE THERE
MANY FIRES IN NORWAY?
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581. OH, GOOD LORD, YES.
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582. A CONSTANT BLAZE.
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583. WOODEN BUILDINGS,
YOU KNOW.
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584. OH, YES.
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585. IN NORWAY.
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586. OH, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
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587. WHY, DID YOU KNOW HER?
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588. NO, NO, I DON'T...
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589. NO, SHE WASN'T
A FAVORITE OF MINE.
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590. NO, WE WERE OUT STROLLING
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591. THAT HE'D GOT CLUTTERING UP
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592. AND APPARENTLY, RATHER
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593. WITHOUT MUCH MORE ADO.
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594. YES, YES.
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595. WELL, LOOK...
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596. Here is an important
announcement
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597. about Michael Ellis.
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598. It is now the end
of "Michael Ellis" week.
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599. From now on,
it is "Chris Quinn" week.
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600. WHAT A ROTTEN ENDING.
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601. WELL, IT IS ONE
OF OUR CHEAPEST, SIR.
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602. WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT?
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603. WELL, THERE'S
THE LONG, SLOW PULLOUT, SIR
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604. YOU KNOW, THE CAMERA TRACKS
BACK AND BACK AND MIXES...
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605. NO, NO, NO.
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606. MORE EXCITING?
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607. WELL, HOW ABOUT
A CHASE?
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608. THERE HE IS!
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609. OH, NO, NO.
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610. WALKING INTO THE SUNSET?
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611. WHAT'S THAT ONE?
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612. YOU KNOW, TWO LONE
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613. OF THE SETTING SUN.
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614. AND YOU'VE GOT A LUMP
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615. AND A TEAR IN YOUR EYE.
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616. OH, NO.
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617. PITY, I RATHER LIKE THAT ONE.
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618. NO, THEY'RE ALL A BIT
OFF THE POINT, YOU SEE.
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619. WELL, THERE IS ONE
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620. MICHAEL ELLIS THING, BUT...
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621. BUT WHAT?
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622. OH, NO, NOTHING, NOTHING.
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623. LOOK, WHO IS THIS MICHAEL ELLIS?
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624. HOW ABOUT A HAPPY ENDING, SIR?
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625. CHRIS, THANK GOD
YOU'RE SAFE.
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626. NO, YOU WOULDN'T WANT THAT,
WOULD YOU?
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627. WHY WOULDN'T I WANT THAT?
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628. FROM THE PANEL?
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629. THAT'S CHEAP.
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630. WHAT?
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631. YOU KNOW, THE BIG MATCH EXPERTS.
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632. YES, THAT WAS QUITE
A GOOD SHOW, YOU KNOW.
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633. WAS A LITTLE OVERDONE.
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634. WELL, I DON'T AGREE
WITH THAT, MALCOLM.
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635. QUITE FRANKLY,
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636. IN IT NOW.
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637. NO? SLOW FADE?
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638. NNN... NO.
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639. WELL, HOW ABOUT
A SUDDEN ENDING?
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