Monty Python's Flying Circus 4x2

1. YES, THIS LOOKS THE SORT OF THING.

2. MAY I JUST TRY IT?

3. CERTAINLY, MADAM.

4. OH, SORRY, SO SORRY!

5. YES, THAT'S FINE.

6. IS THAT ON ACCOUNT, MADAM?

7. YES.

8. HELLO?

9. HELLO?

10. OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

11. SOMEONE ELSE.

12. OH, I SEE, YES.

13. I'M SORRY, SIR.

14. CAN I HELP YOU?

15. YES, YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU CAN, ACTUALLY.

16. THE POSSIBILITY OF PUR...

17. CAN I ASK YOU WHO YOU THOUGHT I WAS?

18. WHAT?

19. JUST THEN, WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WAS SOMEBODY?

20. OH, IT'S NO ONE YOU'D KNOW, SIR.

21. WELL, I MIGHT KNOW THEM.

22. IT'S POSSIBLE, OBVIOUSLY

23. BUT I THINK IT'S REALLY UNLIKELY.

24. I MEAN, HE'S HARDLY YOUR CIRCLES, SIR.

25. WHY, IS HE VERY RICH?

26. OH, NO, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT, SIR.

27. IS HE A LORD OR SOMETHING?

28. NOT AT ALL.

29. WHAT IS HIS NAME?

30. WHAT?

31. WHAT IS HIS NAME?

32. WELL, UH...

33. YES?

34. MICHAEL ELLIS.

35. WHO?

36. MICHAEL ELLIS.

37. I SEE.

38. DO YOU KNOW HIM, SIR?

39. UH, MICHAEL ELLIS.

40. MICHAEL ELLIS.

41. YOU DON'T?

42. WELL, I DON'T REMEMBER THE NAME.

43. REMEMBER HIM, SIR.

44. WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

45. WELL, WOULD YOU REMEMBER

46. 40-ISH, AND HE'S GOT

47. AND ABSOLUTELY NO NOSE?

48. OH, I THINK I DO REMEMBER SOMEBODY LIKE THAT.

49. WELL, THAT'S NOT MICHAEL ELLIS.

50. RIGHT...

51. HE'S A SMALL MAN

52. PITCHED VOICE.

53. RIGHT, I'M NOT GOING TO BUY AN ANT FROM YOU NOW.

54. OH, NO, PLEASE.

55. YOU'VE NOT BEEN PROPERLY TRAINED.

56. COME ON, PLEASE.

57. I WANT ANOTHER ASSISTANT.

58. ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET ANOTHER ASSISTANT.

59. THANK YOU.

60. HELLO, SIR.

61. CAN I HELP YOU?

62. NO, I WANT A DIFFERENT ASSISTANT.

63. I AM, SIR... I'M MR. ABANAZAR, SIR.

64. DON'T BE SILLY.

65. OH, NO, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME HELP YOU.

66. NO! I WANT ANOTHER ASSISTANT.

67. OH, NO, COME ON, PLEASE.

68. IF YOU DON'T...

69. I'LL BE VERY GOOD, SIR, REALLY.

70. GOOD MORNING, SIR.

71. HOW ARE YOU, SIR?

72. TODAY, ISN'T IT, SIR?

73. YOU'VE GOT THERE, SIR.

74. RIGHT, I'M GOING.

75. NO, NO, PLEASE.

76. I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER ASSISTANT.

77. ALL RIGHT.

78. IT'S NOT HIM.

79. I DON'T WANT HIM.

80. OH, PLEASE, GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

81. NO!

82. YES, SIR, CAN I BE OF ANY ASSISTANCE?

83. OH, COME ON, DON'T TRY THAT.

84. TRY WHAT, SIR?

85. PERFECTLY WELL.

86. GOING.

87. I DON'T THINK I WAS, SIR.

88. GET THE MANAGER.

89. A MISUNDERSTANDING, SIR.

90. MANAGER!

91. THIS IS THE MANAGER, SIR.

92. WHAT?

93. YES, I'M THE MANAGER.

94. SMASHING STORE, THIS.

95. I CAN'T RECOMMEND IT TOO HIGHLY.

96. WELL LIT, RAT-FREE, IT'S A JOY TO MANAGE.

97. OH, YES, FRESHEST HADDOCK IN LONDON, SECOND FLOOR

98. THIRD FLOOR RIBENA, ANTS HERE

99. DINNER WAGON EXHIBITION.

100. MANAGER!

101. QUICK!

102. YES, SIR, CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?

103. YES, I WANT TO COMPLAIN ON THIS COUNTER.

104. I'M SORRY, SIR... WHICH ONES?

105. WELL, THEY'RE HIDING NOW.

106. SIR?

107. THEY'RE HIDING, DOWN THERE BEHIND THE COUNTER.

108. I SEE, SIR.

109. WELL, THERE'S NOBODY DOWN HERE, SIR.

110. THROUGH "SOFT TOYS."

111. YES, OF COURSE.

112. TO BE THE MANAGER.

113. OH, YES, I'M THE MANAGER.

114. TO MANAGE, THIS.

115. I'VE GOT IT, SIR.

116. I THINK I'VE GOT IT... IT'S RAG WEEK.

117. RAG WEEK?

118. YES, YOU KNOW, FOR CHARITY, SIR.

119. OH, I SEE, SOME LOCAL COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY?

120. NO, NO, IT'S THE STORE'S RAG WEEK.

121. THE STORE'S RAG WEEK?

122. YES, THE SENIOR STAFF DON'T JOIN IN MUCH.

123. IT'S FOR THE TRAINEES, REALLY.

124. FOR BUSINESS, IS IT?

125. OH, IT'S FOR CHARITY, SIR.

126. ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW.

127. OH, I SEE.

128. RIGHT, SIR, I'LL GET YOU A SENIOR ASSISTANT.

129. ANTS, WAS IT?

130. YES, PLEASE.

131. MR. SNETTERTON?

132. I DON'T WANT HIM!

133. OH, PLEASE, GIVE ME A CHANCE.

134. NO!

135. ALL RIGHT, MR. HARTFORD.

136. YES, GOOD MORNING, SIR, CAN I HELP YOU?

137. YES, PLEASE, I'M INTERESTED IN BUYING AN ANT.

138. AH, YES, AND WHAT PRICE OF PAYING, SIR?

139. OH, WELL, I HADN'T ACTUALLY GOT AS FAR AS THAT.

140. WELL, SIR, THEY START ABOUT HALF A p

141. AS THREE p

142. OR EVEN 3ｽ p FOR A CHAMPION.

143. INFLATION, I'M AFRAID.

144. WELL, I SHOULD THINK ONE ABOUT 1ｽ p, PLEASE.

145. AH, YES, WELL, YOU SHOULD GET

146. FOR THAT, SIR.

147. QUITE FRANKLY, THE HALF-p ONES

148. ARE A BIT ON THE MANGY SIDE.

149. THINKING OF?

150. OH, MEDIUM?

151. MEDIUM, MEDIUM, MEDIUM, MEDIUM...

152. YES, HERE WE ARE.

153. NOW, THAT ONE THERE

154. KING GEORGE BITCH, I THINK.

155. IS AN AFGHAN.

156. THAT'S A NICE ONE.

157. LET'S SEE HOW YOU GET ON WITH HIM, EH?

158. AH, YES, HE LIKES YOU.

159. HE'S TAKEN TO YOU.

160. WHAT DO YOU FEED THEM ON?

161. UH, BLANCMANGE.

162. BLANCMANGE?

163. I'M SORRY.

164. I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT.

165. NO, YOU DON'T FEED THEM AT ALL.

166. WELL, WHAT DO THEY LIVE ON?

167. THEY DON'T... THEY DIE.

168. THEY DIE?

169. WELL, OF COURSE

170. IF YOU DON'T FEED THEM.

171. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

172. YOU LET THEM DIE, ANOTHER ONE.

173. IT'S MUCH CHEAPER

174. AND THAT WAY, YOU HAVE

175. OF LITTLE COMPANIONS.

176. THAT'S THE ADVANTAGE OF OWNING AN ANT.

177. RIGHT, WELL, I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.

178. OH, DEAR, I'VE DROPPED IT.

179. NEVER MIND, HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

180. ELSE I'LL NEED?

181. YES, SIR, YOU'LL NEED AN ANT HOUSE.

182. WE RECOMMEND, SIR.

183. WON'T IT GET OUT OF THERE?

184. YES.

185. WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING THE CAGE?

186. WELL, NONE AT ALL, REALLY.

187. HIM ENTERTAINED.

188. THERE'S AN ANT WHEEL,

189. AND HERE'S A VERY NICE ONE HERE, A LITTLE LADDER.

190. AND RING THE BELL.

191. THAT'S A TRICK HE CAN LEARN.

192. LONG ENOUGH?

193. NOT REALLY, NO, BUT IT'S BEST TO HAVE ONE.

194. AND HERE'S A TWO-WAY RADIO

195. AND THEN OF COURSE, YOU'LL NEED THE BOOK.

196. THE BOOK?

197. YES, YES, THE BOOK ON ANTS.

198. I SEE.

199. SO, SIR, THAT IS, IF I MAY SAY SO, ｣1841ｽ p, SIR.

200. WILL YOU TAKE A CHECK?

201. YES, SIR, IF YOU DON'T MIND LEAVING

202. SCALP JUST HERE, SIR.

203. SORRY, JUST FOR IDENTIFICATION.

204. CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL.

205. WELL, I THINK I'LL PUT IT ON ACCOUNT.

206. I SHOULD, SIR.

207. MUCH LESS PAINFUL.

208. THERE WE ARE.

209. ANYWAY, SIR, YOU ABOUT AN ANT...

210. A FRIEND FOR LIFE, EH?

211. WELL, A FRIEND FOR ITS LIFE, ANYWAY.

212. NOW, THEN, HERE WE ARE.

213. HIS NAME IS MARCUS.

214. RIGHT, IF THE LITTLE

215. TO AN EARLY GRAVE, SIR, GIVE US A RING

216. AND WE'LL STICK A FEW IN AN ENVELOPE, ALL RIGHT?

217. THANKS VERY MUCH INDEED.

218. NOT AT ALL, THANK YOU, MR. ELLIS.

219. WHAT DID YOU SAY?

220. "THANK YOU, MR. ELLIS."

221. IT'S NOT HIM.

222. WHY DID YOU SAY "MR. ELLIS"?

223. WHO?

224. NO, HE DIDN'T SAY THAT.

225. I HEARD HIM SAY, "THANK YOU, MR. ELLIS."

226. AH, NO, NO.

227. HE SAID, "I'M JEALOUS."

228. WHAT?

229. I'M JEALOUS OF YOUR ANT.

230. GOOD-BYE.

231. BYE-BYE!

232. I DON'T CARE WHO MICHAEL ELLIS IS.

233. ENLIGHTENMENT.

234. EXCUSE ME, I WAS IN THE ANT COUNTER AND...

235. ENLIGHTENMENT.

236. THE LORD

237. THE PAPIST SWINE.

238. Will Mr. Michael Ellis please go

239. straight to the manager's office.

240. I'll repeat that... will Mr. Nigel Mellish

241. please go straight to the manager's office.

242. WHAT YOU GOT NOW?

243. I BOUGHT AN ANT, MOTHER.

244. ONE OF THEM FOR?

245. I'M NOT GOING TO CLEAN IT OUT.

246. YOU SAID YOU'D OUT, BUT DO YOU? NO.

247. SUPPOSE YOU'VE LOST INTEREST IN IT NOW.

248. NOW IT'LL BE ANT-ANT-ANT

249. "OH, MUM, I'VE BOUGHT A SLOTH"

250. UNGULATE LIKE A TAPIR.

251. NO, IT'S REALLY DIFFERENT THIS TIME, MUM.

252. I'M REALLY GOING TO LOOK AFTER THIS ANT.

253. THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE SPERM WHALE.

254. NOW YOUR PAPA'S HAVING TO USE IT AS A GARAGE.

255. WELL, YOU DIDN'T FEED IT PROPERLY.

256. 44 TONS OF PLANKTON FROM EVERY MORNING?

257. ABOUT THAT.

258. IN THE DELI.

259. WELL, AT LEAST HE'S GOT A FREE GARAGE.

260. THAT'S NO GOOD TO HIM.

261. ALL FISHY.

262. OH, BLIMEY, THAT'S THE TIGER.

263. HE WANTS HIS MANDIES.

264. THAT TIGER DRUGS?

265. 'COURSE I'M GIVING IT DRUGS.

266. IT'S ILLEGAL.

267. TO THE TIGER.

268. WELL, I THINK IT'S DANGEROUS.

269. LISTEN, BEFORE

270. JEHOVAH WITNESSES A DAY.

271. AND HE USED TO EAT ALL OF THEM, EXCEPT THE PAMPHLETS.

272. WELL, HE'S NOT DIM.

273. ALL RIGHT!

274. I'M GOING TO WATCH TV.

275. COME ON, MARCUS.

276. MICHAEL'S BEEN ON THE PHONE

277. ALL DAY FOR YOU.

278. MICHAEL?

279. YEAH, YOU KNOW, MICHAEL... MICHAEL!

280. MICHAEL ELLIS.

281. YEAH, HE'S BEEN ON THE PHONE ALL DAY.

282. HE CAME ROUND TWICE.

283. HE LOOK LIKE?

284. OH, I DIDN'T SEE HIM.

285. ANSWERED THE DOOR.

286. YOU EVER BOUGHT, THAT.

287. WHERE IS HE NOW?

288. HE'S UPSTAIRS FORGING

289. FOR THE SODDING TIGER.

290. NO, NO, WHERE IS MICHAEL ELLIS NOW?

291. OH, I DON'T KNOW.

292. HE SAID IT WASN'T IMPORTANT, ANYWAY.

293. ALL RIGHT, HERE I COME.

294. UM...

295. Hello, and welcome

296. to The University of the Air.

297. And first this afternoon

298. part 17 of our series

299. on animal communications.

300. This afternoon, we look at recent discoveries

301. in the field of intraspecific signaling codes

302. in the family formicidae.

303. OOH, THAT'S A STROKE OF LUCK, MARCUS.

304. BLOODY THING OFF!

305. We interrupt this program

306. to bring you the latest news

307. of the extraordinary Michael Ellis saga.

308. Apparently Michael Ellis...

309. HEY, I WAS WATCHING THAT!

310. BLOODY THING.

311. IT'S UPSETTING THE TIGER.

312. OH, CHRIST.

313. ND OF THE ANNOUNCEMENT.

314. HOMEOPATHIC PRACTICE.

315. PART 68, "ANTS."

316. AH! WE'RE IN LUCK AGAIN, MARCUS.

317. Hello, formicidophiles.

318. Well, before all the blood and guts you're waiting to see

319. let's have a look at the anatomy of the little ant.

320. The body of the ant is divided into three sections...

321. the head, the thorax and the abdomen.

322. They are enclosed in a hard armorlike covering

323. called the exoskeleton

324. which provides some protection from other nasty little insects

325. but, unfortunately, not from the dissector's scalpel.

326. See, nothing to it.

327. He's not such a toughie.

328. And his legs...

329. they help him carry hundreds of times his own weight

330. but look at this.

331. You're not so strong compared with me.

332. Four, five, six... Ha!

333. I DIDN'T KNOW ANTS HAD SIX LEGS, MARCUS.

334. I assure you, they do, Mr. Ellis.

335. HEY, YOU'VE GOT TWO LEGS MISSING.

336. AND THAT'S A FALSE FEELER, MARCUS.

337. BLIMEY!

338. I'M TAKING THIS ANT BACK, MOTHER.

339. IT'S GOT TWO LEGS MISSING.

340. MRS. McWONG'S BEEN ON THE PHONE.

341. THE POLAR BEAR'S BEEN IN HER GARDEN AGAIN.

342. WELL, I'LL GET IT FROM THE STORE.

343. WELL, MIND YOU DO.

344. ARE ENORMOUS.

345. OH, AND BY THE WAY, WHILE YOU'RE OUT

346. OF TELLIES, WOULD YOU?

347. HERE'S 180 QUID.

348. SECOND FLOOR.

349. STATIONERY, LEATHER GOODS,

350. CRICKET BATS, FILM STARS, DOLPHINARIUMS.

351. THIRD FLOOR.

352. COSMETICS, BOOKS,

353. TRIBAL HEADGEAR, ANTS

354. ABOUT ANTS.

355. OH, WHERE DO I GO TO COMPLAIN?

356. STRAIGHT ON, THEN LEFT,

357. WHERE IT'S GONE ALL SOFT

358. THEN DOWN THE WOBBLY BIT,

359. AND IT'S THE DOOR MARKED "EXIT"

360. ON THE LEFT.

361. THANK YOU.

362. FOURTH FLOOR.

363. KIDDIES' VASECTOMIES...

364. I DON'T WANT YOU.

365. OH, SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR LITTLE ANT FRIEND?

366. NO, I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.

367. OH, SOMETHING MISSING IN THE LEG DEPARTMENT?

368. NO.

369. YES, SIR, CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?

370. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

371. IT'S ALL RIGHT, SIR.

372. IT'S FOR THE SACK RACE LATER ON, SIR.

373. NO, NO, NO, I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE GENERAL MANAGER.

374. I WANT TO COMPLAIN.

375. OH, YOU WANT THE TOUPEE HALL, IN THAT CASE, SIR.

376. THE WHAT?

377. THE TOUPEE HALL, MR. ELLIS.

378. EXCUSE ME,

379. THE WAY TO THE TOUPEE HALL, PLEASE?

380. SORRY?

381. THE TOUPEE HALL.

382. THE WHAT?

383. THE TOUPEE HALL.

384. OH, THE TOUPEE HALL.

385. GLADYS, WHERE ARE TOUPEES NOW?

386. TOUPEES?

387. MM, THIS GENTLEMAN WANTS ONE.

388. A TOUPEE?

389. MM.

390. WELL, NO, ACTUALLY...

391. OH, I THINK THEY'RE IN SURGICAL APPLIANCES NOW.

392. OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

393. YES, YOU GO LEFT

394. AND IT'S ON YOUR LEFT JUST BY GLASS EYES.

395. IT DOESN'T SAY TOUPEES TO

396. BUT YOU CAN SMELL THEM.

397. THANK YOU.

398. YOU CAN SEE THE JOIN.

399. YES, YOU CAN.

400. GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

401. IT'S SO NICE TO SEE SUCH A LARGE TURNOUT THIS AFTERNOON.

402. AND I'D LIKE TO START OFF

403. MR. WADSWORTH...

404. WORDSWORTH.

405. SORRY, WORDSWORTH.

406. MR. JOHN KOOTS

407. AND PERCY BYSSHE.

408. SHELLEY.

409. JUST A LITTLE ONE, MEDIUM DRY.

410. AND ALFRED LORDE.

411. TENNYSON.

412. TENNISBALL.

413. SON.

414. SORRY, ALFRED LORD

415. LORD TENNISBALL'S SON.

416. I'M GOING TO ASK MR. WADSWROTH

417. "I WANDERED LONELY AS A CRAB"

418. AND IT'S ALL ABOUT ANTS.

419. I WANDERED LONELY AS A CLOUD...

420. OH!

421. O'ER VALES AND HILLS

422. WHEN ALL AT ONCE,

423. A HOST OF GOLDEN WORKER ANTS.

424. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, MR. BRADLAUGH.

425. NOW, MR. BYSSHE...

426. SHELLEY.

427. OH!

428. ENTITLED "ODE TO A CRAB."

429. WELL, IT'S NOT ABOUT CRABS, ACTUALLY.

430. IT'S CALLED "OZYMANDIAS."

431. IT'S NOT AN ODE.

432. WHO SAID "SIX VAST

433. "STAND IN THE DESERT.

434. "AND ON THE PEDESTAL, THESE WORDS APPEAR...

435. "'MY NAME IS OZYMANDIAS, KING OF ANTS.

436. "'LOOK ON MY FEELERS, TERMITES

437. "'AND DESPAIR

438. "'I AM THE BIGGEST ANT YOU'LL EVER SEE.

439. "'THE ANTS OF OLD WEREN'T HALF AS BOLD

440. AND BIG AND FIERCE AS ME.'"

441. THANK YOU.

442. THANK YOU, MR. AMONTILLADO.

443. I'D LIKE TO ASK ONE

444. NOT TO SOIL THE CARPET.

445. YOU FIND THE POEMS TOO EXCITING.

446. GOOD AFTERNOON.

447. NEXT, MR. DENNIS KEAT

448. "ODE TO A GLASS OF SHERRY."

449. I'D SEEN...

450. A NASTY LONG-NOSED BRUTE...

451. TONGUE.

452. CRUNCH! CRUNCH! THERE GO MY LEGS

453. SNAP! SNAP! MY THORAX, TOO.

454. MY HEAD'S IN A TWAIN,

455. SWALLOW, SWALLOW...

456. IT'S TRUE, DON'T YOU SEE?

457. IT'S TRUE.

458. IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS.

459. PLEASE.

460. I DO APOLOGIZE FOR THAT LAST...

461. WELL, I HESITATE TO CALL IT A PRAM.

462. BUT I HAD NO IDEA.

463. ABOUT THE CARPET.

464. NOW, I DO APPRECIATE

465. VERY FRIGHTENING, BUT PLEASE...

466. NOW, BEFORE WE MOVE ON

467. ENTITLED "THE CHARGE OF THE ANT BRIGADE."

468. HALF AN INCH...

469. HALF AN INCH...

470. THE QUEEN, THE QUEEN.

471. MY LOYAL SUBJECTS,

472. NATIONAL IMPORT.

473. HERE IN GERMANY... ER, ENGLAND.

474. TENDENCY FOR ZE ENT...

475. THE ENT... THE ANT

476. TO BECOME THE DOMINANT...

477. ENTWICKLUNGSBUND...

478. THEME.

479. HERE IN GERMANY.

480. WE ARE NOT... AMUSIERT?

481. ENTERTAINED.

482. ENTERTAINED.

483. FROM NOW ON, ANTS IS VERBOTEN.

484. INSTEAD, IT'S SKYLARKS, DAFFODILS, NIGHTINGALES

485. LIGHT BRIGADES AND...

486. WAS IST DAS SHCRECKLICHE GEPONG?

487. UND SO WEITER.

488. WELL, WE MUST AWAY NOW

489. FOR THE RACES.

490. GOD BLESS YOU, ALLES.

491. PSST.

492. OVER HERE, SIR.

493. DON'T WORRY, SIR.

494. YOU'RE AMONGST FRIENDS NOW, SIR.

495. MR. BRADFORD, MR. CRAWLEY.

496. FITTERS, SIR.

497. WE'VE HAD A LOT

498. AND WE DO

499. SERVICE AVAILABLE.

500. I DON'T KNOW

501. BELIEVE THIS, SIR

502. BUT ONE OF US IS

503. THIS MOMENT.

504. WELL, YOU ALL ARE, AREN'T YOU?

505. HAVE YOU GOT ONE?

506. NO, I THOUGHT YOU...

507. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU TWO...

508. IT WAS ME. I THOUGHT IT WAS ME.

509. SO DID I.

510. THAT IS GOOD.

511. ACTUALLY, I ONLY CAME IN HERE

512. THE MANAGER'S OFFICE WAS.

513. JUST A MINUTE.

514. WE ALL HAD TOUPEES?

515. NO.

516. OH, YEAH?

517. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

518. WELL, IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS, ISN'T IT?

519. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, OBVIOUS?

520. HIS IS UNDETECTABLE.

521. WELL, IT'S A DIFFERENT COLOR, FOR A START.

522. IS IT?

523. OF COURSE, IT ISN'T.

524. IT DOESN'T FIT IN OF HIS HAIR.

525. THE MIDDLE.

526. WELL, IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS.

527. YES.

528. I'M NOT ONE.

529. IN HERE THEN?

530. THE MANAGER'S OFFICE HERE.

531. OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.

532. THAT'S A BIT LAME, ISN'T IT?

533. IT'S THE TRUTH.

534. MANAGER'S OFFICE?

535. WHERE'D YOU GET THAT, EH?

536. MAC FISHERIES?

537. DREADFUL, ISN'T IT?

538. NYLON?

539. IT'S NOT, IT'S REAL, LOOK.

540. YEAH, ANYONE CAN DO THAT.

541. COME ON, GET IT OFF.

542. LOOK, DO YOU WANT A PROPER ONE?

543. NO, I DON'T NEED ONE.

544. THERE'S NO NEED TO BE ASHAMED.

545. LOOK, WE'VE ALL OWNED UP.

546. I'M NOT WEARING ONE.

547. DON'T YOU SEE,

548. YOU'VE GOT TO COME TO TERMS WITH.

549. I AM NOT WEARING A TOUPEE.

550. TO FIND THE MANAGER'S OFFICE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MY ANT.

551. AN ANT?

552. LOOK, THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

553. ALL RIGHT, TAKE A SEAT.

554. YOU SEE, IT OUGHT TO HAVE A SAFETY CATCH.

555. I MEAN...

556. OOH!

557. I MEAN, WHAT IF THIS FELL INTO THE WRONG HANDS?

558. YES, MADAM, I'LL SPEAK

559. PERSONALLY, ALL RIGHT?

560. OH, WOULD YOU?

561. AT EASE.

562. SORRY, OH, SORRY.

563. NEXT.

564. HE'S STILL MOLESTING HER.

565. YES, YES, I'LL SEE YOU IN A MOMENT, SIR.

566. I'VE GOT A COMPLAINT TO MAKE.

567. AH, TAKE A SEAT.

568. I'M SORRY IT'S ON FIRE.

569. OH, NOT AT ALL.

570. OUT EAST.

571. AH, WHERE WERE YOU OUT EAST?

572. OH, NORWAY, SWEDEN, PLACES LIKE THAT.

573. OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

574. TO BE CATCHING FIRE.

575. EXTINGUISHER?

576. OH, NO, THANK YOU.

577. I THINK WE'D BETTER LET IT RUN ITS COURSE.

578. VERY EAST, IS IT?

579. NO, I SHOULD HAVE SAID, "WHEN I WAS OUT NORTH."

580. YES, ARE THERE MANY FIRES IN NORWAY?

581. OH, GOOD LORD, YES.

582. A CONSTANT BLAZE.

583. WOODEN BUILDINGS, YOU KNOW.

584. OH, YES.

585. IN NORWAY.

586. OH, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

587. WHY, DID YOU KNOW HER?

588. NO, NO, I DON'T...

589. NO, SHE WASN'T A FAVORITE OF MINE.

590. NO, WE WERE OUT STROLLING

591. THAT HE'D GOT CLUTTERING UP

592. AND APPARENTLY, RATHER

593. WITHOUT MUCH MORE ADO.

594. YES, YES.

595. WELL, LOOK...

596. Here is an important announcement

597. about Michael Ellis.

598. It is now the end of "Michael Ellis" week.

599. From now on, it is "Chris Quinn" week.

600. WHAT A ROTTEN ENDING.

601. WELL, IT IS ONE OF OUR CHEAPEST, SIR.

602. WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT?

603. WELL, THERE'S THE LONG, SLOW PULLOUT, SIR

604. YOU KNOW, THE CAMERA TRACKS BACK AND BACK AND MIXES...

605. NO, NO, NO.

606. MORE EXCITING?

607. WELL, HOW ABOUT A CHASE?

608. THERE HE IS!

609. OH, NO, NO.

610. WALKING INTO THE SUNSET?

611. WHAT'S THAT ONE?

612. YOU KNOW, TWO LONE

613. OF THE SETTING SUN.

614. AND YOU'VE GOT A LUMP

615. AND A TEAR IN YOUR EYE.

616. OH, NO.

617. PITY, I RATHER LIKE THAT ONE.

618. NO, THEY'RE ALL A BIT OFF THE POINT, YOU SEE.

619. WELL, THERE IS ONE

620. MICHAEL ELLIS THING, BUT...

621. BUT WHAT?

622. OH, NO, NOTHING, NOTHING.

623. LOOK, WHO IS THIS MICHAEL ELLIS?

624. HOW ABOUT A HAPPY ENDING, SIR?

625. CHRIS, THANK GOD YOU'RE SAFE.

626. NO, YOU WOULDN'T WANT THAT, WOULD YOU?

627. WHY WOULDN'T I WANT THAT?

628. FROM THE PANEL?

629. THAT'S CHEAP.

630. WHAT?

631. YOU KNOW, THE BIG MATCH EXPERTS.

632. YES, THAT WAS QUITE A GOOD SHOW, YOU KNOW.

633. WAS A LITTLE OVERDONE.

634. WELL, I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT, MALCOLM.

635. QUITE FRANKLY,

636. IN IT NOW.

637. NO? SLOW FADE?

638. NNN... NO.

639. WELL, HOW ABOUT A SUDDEN ENDING?