Monty Python's Flying Circus 3x7

Directed by Ian MacNaughton

Features gags and sketches such as Biggles Dictates a Letter, Climbing the North Face of the Uxbridge Road, Lifeboat and The Cheese Shop.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. AND NOW...

2. IT'S...

3. MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUSES.

4. THE ADVENTURES OF BIGGLES.

5. "BIGGLES DICTATES A LETTER. "

6. MISS BLADDER, TAKE A LETTER.

7. YES, SENOR BIGGLES.

8. DON'T CALL ME "SENOR"!

9. IF I'M DRESSED AS MY WIFE

10. BUT NEVER SENOR!

11. SORRY.

12. I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO SPAIN.

13. YOU WENT TO IBIZA LAST YEAR.

14. THAT'S STILL NO GROUNDS

15. OR "DON BEEG-LES," FOR THAT MATTER.

16. RIGHT. DEAR KING HAAKON...

17. "OF NORWAY," IS THAT?

18. WHAT I SAY.

19. DO I PUT THAT DOWN?

20. COURSE YOU DON'T PUT THAT DOWN!

21. WELL, WHAT ABOUT THAT?

22. LOOK!

23. DON'T PUT THAT DOWN.

24. JUST PUT DOWN... WAIT A MO, WAIT A MO.

25. NOW, WHEN I'VE GOT THESE ANTLERS ON...

26. WHEN I'VE GOT

27. AND WHEN I TAKE THEM OFF, I'M NOT DICTATING.

28. "I'M NOT DICTATING."

29. WHAT?

30. READ THAT BACK.

31. "DEAR KING HAAKON, I'M NOT DICTATING.

32. WHAT?"

33. NO, NO, NO, NO, YOU LOOPY BROTHEL INMATE!

34. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS.

35. I'M NOT A COURTESAN.

36. OH, OH, COURTESAN... OH, AREN'T WE GRAND?

37. HARLOT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR US, EH?

38. PARAMOUR, CONCUBINE, FILLE DE JOIE...

39. THAT'S WHAT WE ARE NOT.

40. WELL, LISTEN TO ME,

41. YOU ARE

42. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

43. I AM NOT, YOU DEMENTED FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

44. ALGY SAYS YOU ARE.

45. HE SAYS YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN YOU SHOULD BE.

46. HE KNOW?

47. YOU MEAN BY THAT?

48. COMRADE-IN-ARMS A FAIRY?

49. FAIRY! POOF'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ALGY, IS IT?

50. HE'S GOT TO BE A BLEEDIN' FAIRY.

51. MINCING OLD R.A.F. QUEEN.

52. ALGY, I HAVE TO SEE YOU.

53. Righto.

54. WHAT HO, EVERYONE.

55. ARE YOU GAY?

56. SAY SO, OLD FRUIT.

57. UGH! DEAR KING HAAKON...

58. OH. DEAR KING HAAKON

59. YOU FOR THE EELS.

60. REALLY SCRUMMY, COMMA

61. SO DID I, FULL STOP.

62. I'VE JUST HEARD THAT ALGY WAS A POOF, EXCLAMATION MARK.

63. WHAT WOULD CAPTAIN W.E. JOHNS HAVE SAID, QUESTION MARK.

64. SORRY TO MENCH, BUT IF YOU'VE

65. IN THE POST?

66. LOVE, BIGGLES, ALGY DECEASED, AND GINGER.

67. GINGER?

68. WHAT?

69. RHYMING SLANG... GINGER BEER.

70. OH.

71. GINGER.

72. Hello, sweetie.

73. I HAVE TO SEE YOU.

74. YES, BIGGLES?

75. ARE YOU A POOF?

76. I SHOULD SAY NOT!

77. THANK GOD FOR THAT.

78. GOOD LAD, STOUT FELLOW, SALT OF THE EARTH, BACKBONE OF ENGLAND.

79. FUNNY, HE LOOKS LIKE A POOF.

80. DEAR PRINCESS MARGARET...

81. HELLO.

82. GET BACK IN THE CUPBOARD, YOU PANTOMIMETIC ROYAL PERSON!

83. LEMON CURRY?

84. THANK YOU FOR THE EELS, FULL STOP.

85. REGAL, FULL STOP.

86. SORRY TO MENCH, BUT IF YOU'VE

87. COULD YOU POP IT IN THE POST?

88. YOURS FICTIONALLY, BIGGLES.

89. OH, P. S... SEE YOU AT THE SAXE- COBURGS' CANASTA EVENING.

90. THAT SHOULD PUZZLE HER.

91. SI, SENOR BEEG-LES.

92. SILENCE, NAUGHTY LADY OF THE NIGHT!

93. "BIGGLES FLIES UNDONE."

94. UGH!

95. MEANWHILE, NOT VERY FAR AWAY...

96. CLIMBING... THE WORLD'S LONELIEST SPORT

97. GO HAND IN GLOVE.

98. AND HERE, ANOTHER BRITISH

99. OF THE UXBRIDGE ROAD.

100. CLIMBING TREMENDOUSLY.

101. TO FILM EVERY INCH.

102. OF WILLESDEN ROAD.

103. OUTSIDE LEWIS'S, AND IT'S TAKEN

104. HERE OUTSIDE THE POST OFFICE.

105. WELL, THEY'VE SPENT

106. FOR THE FINAL ASSAULT TODAY.

107. IS 29-YEAR-OLD BERT TAGG

108. AND MOTHER OF THREE.

109. BERT, HOW'S IT GOING?

110. IT'S A BIT GRIPPING, IS THIS, CHRIS.

111. I'VE GOT TO TRY AND

112. AND I'M DOING IT BY... DAMN...

113. I'M DOING IT BY LAYBACK

114. SO I'M KIND OF

115. AND PHILOSOPHIZING.

116. UH, BERT, SOME PEOPLE SAY THIS IS CRAZY.

117. AYE, WELL, THEY SAID CRIPPEN WAS CRAZY, DIDN'T THEY?

118. WELL, CRIPPEN WAS CRAZY.

119. OH, WELL, THERE YOU ARE, THEN.

120. EH, JOHN? I'M

121. ON WHITE.

122. LEMON CURRY?

123. NOW, YOU SEE, HE'S PUTTING

124. BECAUSE I'M QUITE A WAY UP NOW

125. A LONG WAY.

126. SHRUG OFF DANGER.

127. LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIRE

128. THE SKILL THAT GOES INTO IT.

129. OH, IT'S TERRIBLE UP ON DECK.

130. UP ON DECK?

131. YEAH, ON DECK IT'S DIABOLICAL WEATHER.

132. UH, WHAT DECK, DEAR?

133. THE DECK... THE DECK OF THE LIFEBOAT.

134. THIS ISN'T A LIFEBOAT, DEAR.

135. 24 PARKER STREET.

136. THIS IS THE NEWHAVEN LIFEBOAT.

137. NO, IT'S NOT, DEAR.

138. YOU'RE RIGHT.

139. THIS ISN'T A LIFEBOAT AT ALL.

140. NO, I WOULDN'T LIVE HERE IF IT WAS.

141. A MINUTE AND COLLECT MY WITS?

142. NO, YOU DO THAT.

143. I'LL MAKE A NICE CUP OF TEA.

144. THANKS VERY MUCH.

145. OOH, IT'S A WILD NIGHT UP TOP.

146. SOON, CHARLIE.

147. IT'S NOT A LIFEBOAT, FRANK.

148. WHAT?

149. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

150. IT'S NOT A LIFEBOAT;

151. IT'S THIS LADY'S HOUSE.

152. CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN, AHOY THERE!

153. AHOY THERE!

154. AHOY THERE!

155. AHOY THERE!

156. CAPTAIN!

157. WHO'S THAT SHOUTING?

158. THERE'S A MAN OUTSIDE NUMBER 24.

159. TRY IT ON THE FIVE-INCH, GLADYS.

160. I CANT, I'VE GOT THAT FIXED ON THE BAILEYS AT NUMBER 13.

161. THEIR NEW LODGER MOVES IN TODAY.

162. ALL RIGHT, HOLD 13

163. TO THE DIGITAL SCANNER.

164. OH, OKAY.

165. HOLD ON! MRS. PETTIGREW'S COMING BACK FROM THE DOCTOR'S.

166. OOH, BRING HER UP ON TWO.

167. WHAT'S THE DURATION RATING ON THE OSCILLATOR?

168. 48.47.

169. WELL, THAT'S

170. FOR SOMEONE WHO'S JUST HAD A ROUTINE CHECKUP.

171. YES, HER PULSE RATE'S 146.

172. OOH, ZOOM IN ON THE 16-MIL AND HOLD HER, ENID.

173. ROGER, GLADYS.

174. I'LL TRY AND GET HER ON THE 12-INCH.

175. MOVE THE CURTAIN, ENID.

176. THANK YOU, LOVE.

177. YES, IT'S ONE OF THOSE SELF-RIGHTING MODELS.

178. TO GET ONE.

179. WHAT'S THE

180. JOBS, THEN?

181. OH, ABOUT 140, 150...

182. WHO'S FOR FRUIT CAKE?

183. OH, YES, PLEASE.

184. YES? RIGHT, MACAROONS...

185. THAT'S TWO DOZEN FRUIT CAKES, HALF A DOZEN MACAROONS.

186. WON'T BE A JIFFY, THEN.

187. YOO-HOO! MRS. EDWARDS!

188. HELLO.

189. HELLO, LOVE.

190. MACAROONS.

191. OH, SORRY, LOVE, NO MACAROONS.

192. VANILLA SPONGE?

193. YES, THAT'D BE LOVELY.

194. RIGHTO.

195. OOH, THERE'S THAT

196. KUP KAKES... EXCUSE ME.

197. RIGHTO.

198. HELLO! CAPTAIN SMITH!

199. HELLO!

200. KUP KAKES TO STARBOARD!

201. COMING!

202. HEAD OUT THERE!

203. IF YOU WANT I'LL GET YOUR THINGS.

204. OH, YES, THROW 'EM IN.

205. I'LL PAY YOU

206. AT THE END OF THE WEEK, THEN, ALL RIGHT?

207. OKAY, RIGHTO.

208. ALL RIGHT.

209. OOH, IT'S THE ARK ROYAL, DORIS!

210. ROCK BUNS READY?

211. HANG ON!

212. HERE WE ARE,

213. H.M. S. EAGLE.

214. RIGHTO.

215. YES?

216. H.M. S. DEFIANT, TWO SET TEAS, PLEASE.

217. TWO SET TEAS, DORIS.

218. THAT'LL BE 48 PENCE.

219. HERE WE ARE, THANK YOU.

220. BY THE WAY, DO YOU DO LUNCHES?

221. NO, MORNING COFFEES AND TEAS ONLY.

222. RIGHTO, DEAR.

223. GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF STORAGE JARS.

224. ON TONIGHT'S PROGRAM

225. MIKOS ANTONIARKIS,

226. IN STORAGE JARS.

227. ON STORAGE JARS THERE.

228. IN MAIDENHEAD.

229. IN STORAGE JARS.

230. THIS IS LA PAZ, BOLIVIA.

231. BEHIND ME, YOU CAN HEAR

232. OF THIS OLD CITY.

233. KEEN USERS OF STORAGE JARS.

234. A BIG LOCAL CROP.

235. THEY'VE AN INTERMEDIARY SIZE

236. AND FIVE-POUND JARS.

237. A USEFUL JAR FOR APRICOTS, PLUMS AND STOCK CUBES.

238. THE SMALLEST JAR,

239. FOR SWEETS, CHOCOLATES AND EVEN LITTLE SHALLOTS.

240. WHEN LA PAZ KNEW BETTER TIMES.

241. RONALD RODGERS, STORAGE JARS, LA PAZ.

242. IN LONDON, THE

243. THE ENVIRONMENT TO DISCUSS...

244. POTTED PALMS OF MANCHESTER...

245. HAS CAUSED A SWITCH

246. BOTH MUSIC AND THE...

247. ON THE LAST DAY OF THE YEAR.

248. ROSE 3.7 POINTS TO 476.5...

249. BUT THE BBC HAS REPORTED

250. THAT RADIO FREE SOLENT,

251. BIRTHDAY OF THE...

252. HENRY! TURN THAT TELEVISION OFF!

253. YOU KNOW IT'S BAD FOR YOUR EYES!

254. AH, THAT'S BETTER.

255. HENRY, WILL YOU STOP SITTING AROUND?

256. YES, DEAR.

257. THERE'S AN ENTIRE TV STUDIO

258. TO DO THE NEXT LINK!

259. AND WHEN YOU'VE GOT THAT DONE

260. I'VE GONE SOME MORE WORK FOR YOU!

261. YES, DEAR.

262. HENRY, DO YOU HEAR ME?

263. HENRY!

264. HENRY, GET A MOVE ON!

265. NOW, YOU SOD!

266. THAT'S BETTER.

267. HUT-TWO, HUT-TWO, HUT-TWO, HUT-TWO, HUT-TWO!

268. HELLO, I'M THE GOOD FAIRY

269. WHERE WE'RE ALL GRATEFUL

270. SO MUCH SO THAT I'M

271. YOU'VE BEEN UNDER.

272. HUH?

273. HMM, WELL, IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK THE FIRST TIME.

274. YOU, THANK YOU.

275. NO, NO NEED TO.

276. YOU SEE, IT'S ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR PROGRAM CONTROL.

277. HELLO, THE SHOW SO FAR...

278. WELL, IT ALL STARTED WITH

279. AND AFTER THIS HAD HAPPENED, UH

280. THE TITLES OF THE SHOW, WE...

281. AS A "HARLOT"

282. AND A "WOMAN OF THE NIGHT"

283. TO BE CALLED A "COURTESAN."

284. UH, THEN WE SAW SOME PEOPLE

285. SOME CARTOONS AND...

286. INTO A WOMAN'S SITTING ROOM

287. AND, UH, AFTER A BIT

288. SOME, UH, CAKES ON A LIFEBOAT.

289. AND THEN, UH, A N... A NAVAL OFFICER JUMPED INTO THE SEA.

290. UH, THEN WE SAW A MAN TELLING US

291. SOME MORE CARTOONS.

292. AND THEN A... A MAN TOLD US

293. AND HIT HIM ON THE HEAD.

294. I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.

295. LEMON CURRY?

296. GOOD MORNING, SIR.

297. GOOD MORNING.

298. UM... I WAS SITTING

299. WHEN I, UM, SUDDENLY CAME OVER ALL PECKISH.

300. PECKISH, SIR?

301. ESURIENT.

302. EH?

303. EEE, I WERE ALL HUNGRY, LIKE.

304. OH, HUNGRY.

305. IN A NUTSHELL.

306. ACTIVITIES, SALLIED FORTH

307. OF SOME CHEESY COMESTIBLES.

308. COME AGAIN?

309. I WANT TO BUY SOME CHEESE!

310. AH... I THOUGHT YOU WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE MUSIC.

311. OH, HEAVEN FORBID.

312. OF THE TERPSICHOREAN MUSE.

313. SORRY.

314. I LIKE A NICE DANCE...

315. YOU'RE FORCED TO.

316. ANYWAY.

317. WHO SAID THAT?

318. NOW, MY GOOD MAN, SOME CHEESE, PLEASE.

319. YES, CERTAINLY, SIR. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

320. WELL, UH, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE RED LEICESTER?

321. I'M AFRAID WE'RE FRESH OUT OF RED LEICESTER, SIR.

322. NEVER MIND. HOW ARE YOU ON TILSIT?

323. OF THE WEEK, SIR.

324. FIRST THING ON MONDAY.

325. TISH, TISH.

326. NO MATTER, UM...

327. WELL, FOUR OUNCES OF CAERPHILLY, THEN, IF YOU PLEASE

328. STOUT YEOMAN.

329. AH, WELL, IT'S BEEN ON ORDER FOR TWO WEEKS, SIR.

330. THIS MORNING.

331. YES, IT'S NOT MY DAY, IS IT?

332. UH, BEL PAESE?

333. SORRY.

334. RED WINDSOR?

335. UH, NORMALLY, SIR, YES...

336. THE VAN BROKE DOWN.

337. AH... UH, STILTON?

338. SORRY.

339. GRUYERE, EMMENTAL?

340. NO.

341. ANY NORWEGIAN JARLSBERGER?

342. NO.

343. LIPTAUER?

344. NO.

345. LANCASHIRE?

346. NO.

347. WHITE STILTON?

348. NO.

349. DANISH BLUE?

350. NO.

351. DOUBLE GLOUCESTER?

352. NO.

353. CHESHIRE?

354. NO.

355. ANY DORSET BLUE VINNEY?

356. NO.

357. BRIE, ROQUEFORT

358. PONT-L'EVEQUE, PORT SALUT, SAVOYARD

359. SAINT-PAULIN, CARRE-DE-L'EST

360. BOURSIN, BRESSE-BLEUE,

361. CAMEMBERT?

362. AH! WE DO HAVE SOME CAMEMBERT.

363. YOU DO. EXCELLENT.

364. IT'S A BIT RUNNY, SIR.

365. OH, I... I LIKE IT RUNNY.

366. WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT'S... IT'S VERY RUNNY, SIR.

367. NO MATTER,

368. QUI S'APPELLE

369. S'IL VOUS PLAIT.

370. I THINK IT'S RUNNIER THAN YOU LIKE IT, SIR.

371. I DON'T CARE

372. RUNNY IT IS;

373. WITH ALL SPEED.

374. YES, SIR. OH...

375. WHAT?

376. THE CAT'S EATEN IT.

377. HAS HE?

378. SHE, SIR.

379. GOUDA?

380. NO.

381. EDAM?

382. NO.

383. CAITHNESS?

384. NO.

385. SMOKED AUSTRIAN?

386. NO.

387. SAGE DERBY?

388. NO, SIR.

389. YOU DO HAVE SOME CHEESE, DO YOU?

390. CERTAINLY, SIR... IT'S A CHEESE SHOP, SIR.

391. WE'VE GOT...

392. NO, NO, NO, DON'T TELL ME.

393. I'M KEEN TO GUESS.

394. FAIR ENOUGH.

395. WENSLEYDALE?

396. YES, SIR.

397. SPLENDID.

398. WELL, I'LL HAVE SOME OF THAT THEN, PLEASE.

399. OH, I'M SORRY, SIR

400. I THOUGHT YOU WERE REFERRING TO ME... MR. WENSLEYDALE.

401. GORGONZOLA?

402. NO.

403. PARMESAN?

404. NO.

405. MOZZARELLA?

406. NO.

407. PIPPO CREME?

408. NO.

409. ANY DANISH FIMBOE?

410. NO.

411. SHEEP'S MILK CHEESE?

412. NO.

413. VENEZUELAN BEAVER CHEESE?

414. NOT TODAY, SIR, NO.

415. WELL, LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE.

416. HOW ABOUT CHEDDAR?

417. WELL, I'M AFRAID WE DON'T GET MUCH CALL FOR IT

418. AROUND THESE PARTS, SIR.

419. MUCH CALL? IT'S THE MOST POPULAR CHEESE IN THE WORLD!

420. NOT ROUND THESE PARTS, SIR.

421. AND PRAY, WHAT IS

422. ROUND THESE PARTS?

423. ILCHESTER, SIR.

424. I SEE.

425. YES, SIR, IT'S QUITE

426. IN THE MANOR, SQUIRE.

427. IS IT?

428. OUR NUMBER-ONE SELLER.

429. IS IT?

430. YES, SIR.

431. ILCHESTER, EH?

432. RIGHT.

433. OKAY, I'M GAME.

434. "HAVE YOU GOT ANY?"

435. THE ANSWER "NO."

436. I'LL HAVE A LOOK, SIR.

437. N...

438. NO.

439. IT'S NOT MUCH OF A CHEESE SHOP, REALLY, IS IT?

440. FINEST IN THE DISTRICT, SIR.

441. TO THAT CONCLUSION?

442. WELL, IT'S SO CLEAN.

443. WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY UNCONTAMINATED BY CHEESE.

444. YOU HAVEN'T ASKED ME ABOUT LIMBURGER, SIR.

445. IS IT WORTH IT?

446. COULD BE.

447. OKAY, HAVE YOU...

448. THAT BLOODY DANCING UP?

449. I TOLD YOU SO.

450. HAVE YOU GOT ANY LIMBURGER?

451. NO.

452. NO... THAT FIGURES.

453. PREDICTABLE, REALLY.

454. IN THE FIRST PLACE.

455. CHEESE AT ALL?

456. YES, SIR.

457. NOW, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU

458. AND IF YOU SAY "NO"

459. THROUGH THE HEAD.

460. NOW, DO YOU HAVE ANY CHEESE AT ALL?

461. NO.

462. OF HUMAN LIFE.

463. HUGH WALPOLE'S ROGUE CHEDDAR...

464. OF THE CHEESE WESTERNS...

465. ILCHESTER '73

466. LIBERTY VALANCE.

467. WHILE I'M ON

468. FILM DIRECTORS...

469. SAM PECKINPAH, THE EXPATRIATE FROM FRESNO, CALIFORNIA.

470. IN HIS EARLIEST FILMS,

471. IN ITS STARKEST FORM.

472. OF JULIAN SLADE'S SALAD DA YS.

473. HELLO, EVERYBODY.

474. HELLO, LIONEL.

475. I SAY, WHAT A SIMPLY SUPER DAY.

476. GOSH, YES.

477. IT'S SO... YOU KNOW, SUNNY.

478. YES, ISN'T IT?

479. I SAY, ANYONE FOR TENNIS?

480. OH, SUPER!

481. WHAT FUN!

482. I SAY, LIONEL, CATCH.

483. OH, CRIKEY!

484. PRETTY STRONG MEAT THERE FROM...

485. SAM PECKINPAH.

486. THE LAST APOLOGY.

487. AND BBC 2 IS BOUND TO GO THROUGH THIS PHASE.

488. SO FROM ALL OF US HERE, GOOD NIGHT, SLEEP WELL

489. SUPER DAY TOMORROW.

490. KISS, KISS.

491. WE'VE JUST HEARD

492. OF 17 STORAGE JARS.

493. POLICE HAVE RULED OUT FOUL PLAY.

494. LEMON CURRY?

495. UM, I'M SORRY ABOUT THE, UH... THE, UH... PAUSE

496. ONLY I'M AFRAID THE SHOW IS

497. THIS WEEK.

498. YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES THE SHOW'S AREN'T REALLY QUITE AS, UH...

499. AS LONG AS THEY OUGHT TO BE.

500. BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?

501. UM, LOOK, THERE'S NOT REALLY A... A GREAT DEAL OF POINT

502. BECAUSE I'M AFRAID THERE AREN'T ANY MORE JOKES OR ANYTHING.