Monty Python's Flying Circus 3x12

Directed by Ian MacNaughton

Features gags and sketches such as A Book at Bedtime, Kamikaze Scotsmen, No Time to Lose, Spot the Looney and Frontiers of Medicine-Penguins.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUSES.

2. RED GAUNTLET BY SIR WALTER SCOTT.

3. HELLO.

4. THE SUNSOOT...

5. THE SUNSIETT...

6. THE SUN... THE SUNSET!

7. THE SUNSET WAAS... WAS, WAS...

8. THE SUNSET WAS... DI... DEEING... DYING

9. OVER THE HILE... HIEL... HE... HEELS...

10. OH, HILLS, HILLS!

11. OF... SLOW... SOL... WAY FIRTH.

12. THE LOVE PIPER... THE LONE PIPER.

13. THE LONE PIPER... ON THE BA...

14. BATT... LY... MENTS...

15. OF ED... EBING... EBINGUNDIR... ED... EDINGBURGHER...

16. EDINBURGH!

17. EDINBURGH... CASTLE

18. WAS SIL... SILHOU...

19. SALUTED... S... SI...

20. "THE SUNSET WAS DYING

21. "OVER THE HILLS OF SOLWAY FIRTH.

22. "THE LONE PIPER ON THE

23. AGAINST THE CRIM..." CRIMSY...

24. CRIMSON!

25. STREEDS... STRE...

26. STREAKED.

27. STREAKED?

28. CRIMSON-STREAKED SKY.

29. OF CARRIGANU...

30. CRAN... CRUNGRIN...

31. CAIRNGORM!

32. AH!

33. THE LAYT...

34. LAIRD!

35. LAIRD! LAIRD! LAIRD!

36. LAIRD OF... OF... OF...

37. MONTEU...

38. MONTREUX...

39. MONTROSE.

40. MONTROSE. MONTROSE. MONTROSE.

41. OF MONTROSE...

42. GAL-LOPED?

43. GALLOPED...

44. "THE LONE PIPER

45. OF EDINBURGH CASTLE..."

46. NEXT.

47. FOR THE BRITISH ARMY'S FIRST KAMIKAZE REGIMENT...

48. THE QUEEN'S OWN McKAMIKAZE HIGHLANDERS.

49. FROM 3O, OOO TO JUST OVER A DOZEN IN THREE WEEKS.

50. SO KEEN TO KILL THEMSELVES?

51. THE MONEY'S GOOD.

52. AND THE WATER SKIING.

53. ATTENTION!

54. ALL RIGHT, SERGEANT MAJOR, AT EASE.

55. NOW, HOW MANY CHAPS YOU GOT LEFT?

56. SIX, SIR.

57. SIX?

58. FIVE, SIR... GOOD LUCK, JOHNSON.

59. JOLLY GOOD SHOW, SERGEANT MAJOR.

60. I'VE COME

61. WE'VE GOT A JOB FOR YOUR FIVE LADS.

62. FOUR, SIR.

63. FOR YOUR FOUR LADS.

64. GOOD LUCK, TAGGART.

65. THANK YOU, SARGE.

66. NOW, THIS MISSION'S

67. AND IT'S GOING TO BE TOUGH AND WE'RE GOING TO NEED

68. TO PULL HIS WEIGHT.

69. NOW, WHICH FOUR ARE THEY?

70. HERE, SIR.

71. OKAY, OFF YOU GO, SMITH.

72. RIGHT!

73. SERGEANT MAJOR.

74. SIR?

75. YOU DON'T THINK

76. PROGRAM FOR A LITTLE BIT?

77. THEY GOT TO BE TRAINED, SIR... IT'S A DANGEROUS JOB.

78. YES, I KNOW BUT...

79. ALL RIGHT, MacPHERSON, YOU'RE NEXT... OFF YOU GO.

80. YOU SEE, WHAT IS WORRYING ME, SERGEANT MAJOR...

81. I'LL MAKE IT A GOOD ONE, SIR!

82. GOOD LUCK, MacPHERSON.

83. MacPHERSON...

84. REALLY IS VERY DANGEROUS.

85. WE'RE GOING TO NEED BOTH THE CHAPS YOU'VE GOT LEFT.

86. BOTH OF WHO, SIR?

87. SERGEANT MAJOR, WHAT'S THIS MAN'S NAME?

88. THIS ONE, SIR?

89. THIS ONE'S MacDONALD, SIR.

90. MacDONALD...

91. GO, LAD. NO, NO, NO.

92. MacDONALD, SERGEANT MAJOR.

93. HANG ON TO HIM.

94. I DON'T KNOW WHETHER I CAN, SIR.

95. HE'S IN A STATE OF ITSUBISHI McSAYONARA.

96. WHAT'S THAT?

97. IT'S THE FIFTH STATE A SCOTSMAN CAN ACHIEVE, SIR.

98. HE'S GOT TO FINISH

99. OR HE THINKS HE'S LET DOWN THE EMPEROR, SIR.

100. WELL, CAN'T WE GET HIM OUT OF IT?

101. OH, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO, SIR.

102. OUR KAMIKAZE INSTRUCTOR, MR. YASHIMOTO, WAS SO GOOD

103. TOKYO AIRPORT.

104. WELL, THERE MUST BE SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN ADVISE US.

105. GOOD MORNING.

106. KAMIKAZE, PLEASE.

107. YES, WOULD YOU GO THROUGH, PLEASE?

108. THANK YOU.

109. ALL RIGHT, SERGEANT MAJOR.

110. NO TIME TO LOSE.

111. BEG PARDON, SIR?

112. TO LOSE.

113. NO WHAT, SIR?

114. NO TIME... NO TIME TO LOSE.

115. OH, I SEE, SIR.

116. NO TIME... TO LOSE!

117. YES, THAT'S RIGHT, YES.

118. YES, NO TIME TO LOSE, SIR.

119. RIGHT!

120. ISN'T THAT FUNNY, SIR.

121. I'VE NEVER COME ACROSS THAT PHRASE BEFORE.

122. "NO TIME TO LOSE."

123. 42 YEARS I'VE BEEN

124. AND I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT PHRASE.

125. WELL, IT'S IN PERFECTLY COMMON PARLANCE.

126. IN WHAT, SIR?

127. OH, NEVER MIND.

128. RIGHT... NO TIME TO LOSE.

129. EVENTUALLY, YES, SIR.

130. WHAT?

131. WELL, LIKE YOU SAID, SIR.

132. WE'LL BE ABLE TO MAKE TIME EVENTUALLY...

133. WITHOUT TO LOSE, SIR, NO.

134. LOOK, UM, I DON'T THINK YOU'VE QUITE GOT

135. THE HANG OF THIS PHRASE, SERGEANT MAJOR.

136. MORNING.

137. NO TIME TO LOSE.

138. NOW, THEN, HOW

139. OF USING THIS PHRASE?

140. UH...

141. WELL, I WAS THINKING OF USING IT LIKE, UH...

142. UH..."GOOD MORNING, DEAR.

143. WHAT IS IN NO TIME TO LOSE?"

144. YES, WELL, YOU'VE

145. THE HANG OF THAT, HAVE YOU?

146. NO TIME TO LOSE.

147. NO TIME TO LOSE.

148. NO TIME TO LOSE.

149. NO TIME TO LOSE.

150. NOW, YOU WANT

151. IN EVERYDAY CONVERSATION, IS THAT RIGHT?

152. YES, THAT'S RIGHT, YES.

153. YES, GOOD.

154. MY WIFE AND I HAVE...

155. GREAT DEAL TO SAY TO EACH OTHER.

156. LIKE "PASS THE SUGAR" OR "THAT'S MY FLANNEL"

157. TEN OR 15 YEARS

158. THERE JUST HASN'T SEEMED TO BE ANYTHING TO SAY.

159. AND ANYWAY, I SAW YOUR PHRASE

160. THAT'S THE KIND OF THING

161. I'D LIKE TO SAY TO HER.

162. YES, WELL,

163. SO YOU CAN WAKE UP,

164. AND USE THE PHRASE IMMEDIATELY.

165. SHALL WE TRY IT?

166. YES.

167. ALL RIGHT.

168. I'LL BE THE ALARM CLOCK.

169. AND USE THE PHRASE, OKAY?

170. NO! TIME TO LOSE.

171. NO. NO TIME TO LOSE.

172. NO TIME TO LOSE.

173. NO TIME TO LOSE.

174. NO TIME TO LOSE.

175. NO. TO LOSE, LIKE TOULOUSE IN FRANCE.

176. NO TIME TOULOUSE.

177. NO TIME TOULOUSE.

178. NO TIME TOULOUSE.

179. NO TIME TOULOUSE.

180. NO. NO TIME TO LOSE.

181. NO, NO TIME TO LOSE.

182. "NO-TIME TOULOUSE..."

183. ALL RIGHT, YOU

184. GO FOR YOUR GUNS.

185. ANYWAY, NO TIME TO LOSE, SERGEANT MAJOR.

186. LOOK OUT, SIR!

187. MacDONALD!

188. MacDONALD!

189. WE'LL HAVE TO HURRY, SIR.

190. MacDONALD, PUT THAT DOWN.

191. DOWN, LAD.

192. HE'S REACHED THE SIXTH PLANE ALREADY, SIR.

193. RIGHT, HERE ARE THE PLANS, SERGEANT MAJOR.

194. GOOD LUCK.

195. THANK YOU, SIR.

196. TO YOU, MacDONALD.

197. THANK YOU, SIR.

198. COME ON, MacDONALD.

199. NO TIME TO LOSE.

200. VERY GOOD, SERGEANT MAJOR.

201. YES, EXCELLENT.

202. SO IT WAS

203. R.S.M. URDOCH AND SAPPER MacDONALD...

204. WHICH WAS TO...

205. OH, I CAN'T GO ON WITH THIS DRIVEL.

206. ALL RIGHT, MacDONALD.

207. NO TIME TO LOSE.

208. MacDONALD!

209. COME ON. UP.

210. WELL, THAT'S THE MISSION, NOW HERE'S THE METHOD.

211. R.S.M. URDOCH WILL LULL

212. A GOOD HOME AND A STEADY JOB.

213. THEN, WHEN THEY'RE

214. MacDONALD WILL HURL

215. DESTROYING THEM AND HIMSELF.

216. WELL, THAT'S THE PLAN.

217. THE TIME IS NOW 19.42 HOURS.

218. I WANT YOU TO GET TO BED, HAVE A GOOD NIGHT'S REST

219. EARLY IN THE MORNING.

220. FOR A LOVELY SUPPER.

221. AND... AND... AND SUE...

222. SO. SO, SO...

223. SO THE... THE IN... INTRIPTID

224. INTREPID.

225. INTREPID.

226. INTREPID R.S.M. URDOCH AND SUPER...

227. SAPPER.

228. SAPPER... MacDONALD...

229. M... MADE... MEAD...

230. MADE!

231. MADE THEIR WHY...

232. WAY! WAY! WAY! WAY!

233. WAY... WAY TO... TOARRO...

234. TOWARDS!

235. TOWARDS!

236. TOWARDS...

237. TOWARDS THE... THE RUUST... RUUSTY...

238. RRR... RUUSTY... RUSSIAN. RUSSIAN.

239. RUSSIAN!

240. RUSSIAN BOLDER...

241. BORDER! BORDER! BORDER! BORDER!

242. AND SO, AND SO R.S.M. URDOCH AND SAPPER MacDONALD MADE THEIR WAY

243. TOWARDS THE RUSSIAN BOLDER...

244. BORDER!

245. HMM?

246. PENGUINS, YES, PENGUINS.

247. OF MEDICAL SCIENCE?

248. WELL, STRANGELY ENOUGH, QUITE A LOT...

249. A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH, MAYBE.

250. THE WORLD PENICILLIN.

251. THE POTENTIALITY OF STEAM POWER.

252. IF HE HADN'T BEEN CLEVER?

253. HAVE BEEN TAKEN IN THE DARK.

254. THE ATOM IF HE HADN'T TRIED?

255. IF HE HADN'T BY PURE CHANCE

256. AT THE PROBLEM?

257. OF UNREMITTING STUDY?

258. OF COURSE NOT.

259. MUST HAVE BEEN WRONG.

260. NEVERTHELESS, SCIENTISTS BELIEVE

261. THESE COMIC, FLIGHTLESS,

262. MAY FINALLY,

263. OF THE HUMAN MIND.

264. OF THE LAVER INSTITUTE.

265. HELLO.

266. HERE AT THE INSTITUTE,

267. DR. PEACHES BARTKOWICZ

268. BY THE LATE DR. KRAMER

269. THAN THE HUMAN BEING.

270. DR. KRAMER CAME UP WITH WAS

271. SMALLER BRAIN THAN THE MAN.

272. UNTIL HIS DEATH.

273. NOW, WE'VE TAKEN THIS THEORY ONE STAGE FURTHER.

274. WE NOW FIND THAT THE PENGUIN'S BRAIN IS STILL SMALLER.

275. BUT... AND THIS IS THE POINT... IT IS LARGER THAN IT WAS.

276. OVER 66 FEET HIGH.

277. AS THE "WASTE OF TIME THEORY"

278. AND WAS ABANDONED IN 1956.

279. HELLO AGAIN.

280. STANDARD I.Q. TESTS GAVE THE FOLLOWING RESULTS.

281. THAN BBC PROGRAM PLANNERS.

282. THE BBC PROGRAM PLANNERS'

283. LIMITS OF STATISTICAL ERROR.

284. CAN COCK THE WHOLE THING UP.

285. THESE I.Q. TESTS

286. AGAINST THE PENGUIN.

287. FOR EXAMPLE, IT DIDN'T TAKE

288. THE PENGUINS' EXTREMELY POOR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.

289. SPENT 18 MONTHS IN ANTARCTICA

290. LIKE PENGUINS... ONLY QUICKER...

291. IN HIS OWN ENVIRONMENT.

292. THEREFORE, WE DEVISED TESTS

293. IN THE FOURTH SET...

294. I DO BEG YOUR PARDON... IN THEIR OWN ENVIRONMENT.

295. NET!

296. SHH!

297. IN THIS SEQUENCE?

298. TWO, FOUR, SIX...

299. DID HE SAY "EIGHT"?

300. WHAT IS...

301. BUT WE'D HIT ANOTHER... THE LANGUAGE BARRIER.

302. TO GIVE THE ANSWERS.

303. IN THE SAME CONDITIONS.

304. THE NEXT NUMBER?

305. TWO, FOUR, SIX...

306. HELLO?

307. WERE MOST ILLUMINATING.

308. THE PENGUINS' SCORES

309. NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING GROUP.

310. TO CERTAIN CHANGES AT THE BBC...

311. AT ZOOS BOOMED.

312. POSITIONS EVERYWHERE.

313. HELP.

314. OH!

315. VIZNA VESHCHAT.

316. PRAVDA KARAMENTOV.

317. OF ABSOLUTE SECRECY.

318. NYET?

319. LOOK OUT!

320. NYET?

321. HE HASN'T GONE OFF.

322. SLOVATI, TOVARISH!

323. WHAT?

324. AND WELCOME TO SPOT THE LOONEY, WHERE ONCE AGAIN, WE INVITE YOU

325. AND ASK YOU TO...

326. SPOT THE LOONEY.

327. AND PART-TIME RADIATOR...

328. GOOD EVENING.

329. DAME ELSIE OCCLUDED... HISTORIAN, WIT, BON VIVEUR

330. OF THE JOHNSON BROTHERS...

331. GOOD EVENING.

332. OF CATHOLICISM.

333. GOOD EVENING.

334. AND WE'LL BE INVITING THEM TO SPOT THE LOONEY.

335. AH, YES, QUITE RIGHT.

336. WHO'S POINTED OUT CORRECTLY

337. ARE LOONIES.

338. OF FILM.

339. IT'S ABOUT MOUNTAINEERING

340. AND REMEMBER, YOU HAVE TO SPOT THE LOONEY.

341. SOUTH FACE OF BEN MACDHUI...

342. DARK, FORBIDDING...

343. YES, WELL DONE.

344. MRS. NESBITT OF YORK

345. IN 1.8 SECONDS.

346. ON TO OUR SECOND ROUND, AND IT'S PHOTO TIME.

347. WE'RE GOING TO INVITE YOU

348. OF TONY JACKLIN, ANTHONY BARBER, EDGAR ALLAN POE, KATY BOYLE

349. REGINALD MAUDLING AND A LOONEY.

350. SPOT THE LOONEY.

351. NOW, I MUST ASK YOU

352. UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN ALL THE PHOTOS.

353. YES, YOU'RE RIGHT, THE ANSWER WAS, OF COURSE, NUMBER TWO.

354. I'M AFRAID THERE'S BEEN AN ERROR IN OUR COMPUTER.

355. THE CORRECT ANSWER SHOULD, OF COURSE, HAVE BEEN NUMBER FOUR

356. AND NOT KATY BOYLE.

357. KATY BOYLE IS NOT A LOONEY.

358. SHE IS A TELEVISION PERSONALITY.

359. NOW IT'S TIME FOR SPOT THE LOONEY HISTORICAL ADAPTATION.

360. THIS TIME, IT'S THE THRILLING MEDIEVAL ROMANCE, IVANHOE

361. AND WAR, VIOLENCE AND CHIVALRY

362. OF 13th-CENTURY ENGLAND.

363. IS SPOT THE LOONEY.

364. YES, WELL DONE, MRS. L. OF LEICESTER

365. MRS. B. OF BUXTON AND MRS. G. OF GATWICK.

366. THE LOONEY WAS, OF COURSE, THE WRITER, SIR WALTER SCOTT.

367. I DIDN'T WRITE THAT.

368. SOUNDS MORE LIKE DICKENS.

369. YOU BASTARD!

370. OF THE EARLY 19th-CENTURY ROMANTIC TRADITION?

371. OF THE 19th CENTURY

372. AND BITTER MAN...

373. EXCUSE ME, CAN I BORROW THAT, PLEASE?

374. YES.

375. THANK YOU.

376. PLANTED OVER 40 YEARS AGO

377. FORESTRY COMMISSION IN 1924.

378. THIS ENTIRE AREA... SHH!

379. THAT'S 40,000 ACRES OF VIRGIN FOREST.

380. BY 1980, THIS WILL

381. UP TO 200,000 ACRES OF SOFT WOODS.

382. IN COMMERCIAL TERMS,

383. TREASURE TROVE...

384. NO! A FAT FIR CONE FUTURE FOR THE FINANCIERS.

385. BUT WHAT OF THE COST...

386. IT'S MINE!

387. GO AWAY! IN HUMAN TERMS?

388. WHO ARE THE CASUALTIES?

389. FOR THIS WAS SIR WALTER SCOTT'S COUNTRY.

390. OR REDGAUNTLET...

391. GIVE THAT BACK!

392. NO! SCOTT SHOWED HIMSELF TO BE NOT ONLY A FINE...

393. THIS FOREST WILL BE USED...

394. OF HUMOR AND...

395. BRITAIN'S TIMBER RESOURCES

396. AT THE RATE OF OVER...

397. WAS ANGUS TINKER.

398. MUCH OF SCOTT'S GREATEST WORK...

399. AND I'M THINKING HERE

400. AND OLD MORTALITY, FOR EXAMPLE...

401. THE LIFE AND CONDITIONS...

402. THAT A WHOLLY SYNTHETIC,

403. CAN BE CREATED, LEAVING THE HARDER TREES...

404. THE OAKS, THE BEECHES,

405. THE DECIDUOUS HARDWOODS.

406. WOULD TOTALLY REPLACE THE PLYWOODS,

407. DOMINATING THE...

408. TO PROTECT A WAY OF LIFE...

409. AND ASPIRATIONS WITHIN

410. OF THE GOTHIC NOVEL.

411. SELF-DESTRUCTIVE...

412. REINFORCED TIMBER...

413. THE HEART OF THE COUNTRY...

414. A SUBJUGATED COUNTRY...

415. THE CANADIAN

416. OF TWO UNSUCCESSFUL...

417. IN ROB ROY AND ALSO IN...

418. THE DECLINE IN HARD...

419. THEN ED... THEN-ED...

420. THEN.

421. THEN! AH!

422. THE END!

423. ANNA SEWELL'S BLACK BU...

424. BUTT... BLACK BEAUT...

425. BLACK BUTTOON.

426. BLACK... BUG... BUTOM.

427. BLACK...