1. AND NOW FOR SOMETHING
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.Copy !req
2. IT'S...Copy !req
3. MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.Copy !req
4. HOW TO RECOGNIZE
DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE BODY.Copy !req
5. THE FOOT.Copy !req
6. THE SHOULDER.Copy !req
7. THE OTHER FOOT.Copy !req
8. THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE.Copy !req
9. THE NAUGHTY BITS.Copy !req
10. JUST ABOVE THE ELBOW.Copy !req
11. TWO INCHES TO THE RIGHT OF
A VERY NAUGHTY BIT INDEED.Copy !req
12. THE KNEECAP.Copy !req
13. GOODDAY, BRUCE!Copy !req
14. OH, HELLO, BRUCE.Copy !req
15. HOW ARE YER, BRUCE?Copy !req
16. BIT CROOK, BRUCE.Copy !req
17. WHERE'S BRUCE?Copy !req
18. HE'S NOT HERE,
BRUCE.Copy !req
19. BLIMEY, S'HOT
IN HERE, BRUCE.Copy !req
20. S'HOT ENOUGH TO
BOIL A MONKEY'S BUM.Copy !req
21. THAT'S A STRANGE
EXPRESSION, BRUCE.Copy !req
22. WELL, BRUCE, I HEARD THE
PRIME MINISTER USE IT.Copy !req
23. "S'HOT ENOUGH TO BOIL A
MONKEY'S BUM IN 'ERECopy !req
24. YOUR MAJESTY,"
HE SAIDCopy !req
25. AND SHE SMILED
QUIETLY TO HERSELF.Copy !req
26. SHE'S A GOOD
SHEILA, BRUCECopy !req
27. AND NOT AT ALL
STUCK-UP.Copy !req
28. AH! HERE COMES
THE BOSSFELLA NOW.Copy !req
29. HOW ARE YOU, BRUCE?Copy !req
30. HELLO, BRUCE.Copy !req
31. HOW ARE YOU, BRUCE?Copy !req
32. GENTLEMEN, I'D
LIKE TO INTRODUCECopy !req
33. A CHAP FROM
POMMY LANDCopy !req
34. WHO'LL BE JOINING
US THIS YEARCopy !req
35. HERE IN THE PHILOSOPHY
DEPARTMENTCopy !req
36. OF THE UNIVERSITY
OF WOOLAMALOO.Copy !req
37. UH, MICHAEL BALDWIN,
THIS IS BRUCE.Copy !req
38. MICHAEL BALDWIN,
THIS IS BRUCE.Copy !req
39. MICHAEL BALDWIN,
THIS IS BRUCE.Copy !req
40. IS YOUR NAME NOT BRUCE, THEN?Copy !req
41. NO, IT'S
MICHAEL.Copy !req
42. THAT'S GOING
TO CAUSECopy !req
43. A LITTLE
CONFUSION.Copy !req
44. MIND IF WE
CALL YOU "BRUCE"Copy !req
45. JUST TO KEEP
IT CLEAR?Copy !req
46. WELL, GENTLEMENCopy !req
47. I THINK WE'D BETTER
START THE MEETING.Copy !req
48. BEFORE WE
START, THOUGHCopy !req
49. I'LL ASK THE PADRE
FOR A PRAYER.Copy !req
50. O LORD, WE BESEECH THEE,
HAVE MERCY ON OUR FACULTY, AMEN.Copy !req
51. AMEN.Copy !req
52. CRACK THE
TUBES, RIGHT!Copy !req
53. ER, BRUCE, I NOW
CALL UPON YOUCopy !req
54. TO WELCOME
MR. BALDWINCopy !req
55. TO THE PHILOSOPHY
DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
56. I'D LIKE
TO WELCOMECopy !req
57. THE POMMY BASTARD
TO GOD'S OWN EARTHCopy !req
58. AND I'D LIKE
TO REMIND HIMCopy !req
59. THAT WE DON'T LIKECopy !req
60. STUCK-UP
STICKY-BEAKS HERE.Copy !req
61. HEAR, HEAR!Copy !req
62. WELL-SPOKEN, BRUCE.Copy !req
63. NOW, BRUCE TEACHES
CLASSICAL PHILOSOPHYCopy !req
64. BRUCE TEACHES
HEGELIAN PHILOSOPHYCopy !req
65. BRUCE HERE TEACHES
LOGICAL POSITIVISMCopy !req
66. AND IS ALSO IN CHARGE
OF THE SHEEP-DIP.Copy !req
67. WHAT DOES
NEW BRUCE TEACH?Copy !req
68. NEW BRUCE WILL BE TEACHING
POLITICAL SCIENCE...Copy !req
69. MACHIAVELLI, BENTHAM,
LOCKE, HOBBESCopy !req
70. SUTCLIFFE, BRADMAN, LINDWALL,
MILLER, HASSETT AND BENAUD.Copy !req
71. THOSE ARE CRICKETERS, BRUCE.Copy !req
72. OH, SPIT.Copy !req
73. HOWLS OF DERISIVE
LAUGHTER, BRUCE.Copy !req
74. IN ADDITION, AS HE'S GOING
TO BE TEACHING POLITICSCopy !req
75. I'VE TOLD HIM HE'S
WELCOME TO TEACHCopy !req
76. ANY OF THE GREAT
SOCIALIST THINKERSCopy !req
77. PROVIDED HE MAKES IT CLEAR
THAT THEY WERE WRONG.Copy !req
78. AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA,
AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIACopy !req
79. WE LOVE YOU, AMEN.Copy !req
80. ANY QUESTIONS?Copy !req
81. NEW BRUCE,
ARE YOU A POOFTAH?Copy !req
82. ARE YOU A POOFTAH?Copy !req
83. NO.Copy !req
84. NO, RIGHT.Copy !req
85. WELL, GENTLEMEN,
I'LL JUST REMIND YOUCopy !req
86. OF THE FACULTY RULES.Copy !req
87. NO POOFTAHS.Copy !req
88. NO MEMBER
OF THE FACULTYCopy !req
89. IS TO MALTREAT
THE ABOSCopy !req
90. IN ANY WAY
WHATSOEVERCopy !req
91. IF THERE'S ANYONE WATCHING.Copy !req
92. NO POOFTAHS.Copy !req
93. I DON'T
WANT TO CATCH ANYONECopy !req
94. NOT DRINKING IN THEIR
ROOM AFTER LIGHTS OUT.Copy !req
95. NO POOFTAHS.Copy !req
96. THERE IS NO RULE SIX.Copy !req
97. NO POOFTAHS.Copy !req
98. THAT CONCLUDES THE READING
OF THE RULES.Copy !req
99. BRUCE?Copy !req
100. THIS HERE'S
THE WATTLE...Copy !req
101. THE EMBLEM
OF OUR LAND.Copy !req
102. YOU CAN STICK IT
IN A BOTTLECopy !req
103. OR YOU CAN HOLD IT
IN YER HAND, AMEN.Copy !req
104. AMEN.Copy !req
105. GENTLEMEN, AT 6:00Copy !req
106. I WANT EVERY MAN-BRUCE OF YOU IN
THE SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE ROOMCopy !req
107. TO TAKE A GLASS OF SHERRY WITH
THE FLYING PHILOSOPHER, BRUCECopy !req
108. AND I CALL UPON YOU, PADRECopy !req
109. TO CLOSE THE MEETING
WITH A PRAYER.Copy !req
110. OH, LORD, WE
BESEECH THEECopy !req
111. ETC., ETC.,
ETC., AMEN.Copy !req
112. AMEN.Copy !req
113. RIGHT, LET'S GET
SOME SHEILAS.Copy !req
114. OKAY.Copy !req
115. AH, ELEVENSES!Copy !req
116. THIS SHOULD
TIDE US...Copy !req
117. THIS SHOULD TIDE US
OVER 'TIL LUNCHTIME.Copy !req
118. RECKON
SO, BRUCE.Copy !req
119. SYDNEY
NOLAN!Copy !req
120. WHAT'S THAT?Copy !req
121. THE EAR.Copy !req
122. THE BIG TOE.Copy !req
123. MORE NAUGHTY BITS.Copy !req
124. THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF A LADY.Copy !req
125. THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF A HORSE.Copy !req
126. THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF AN ANT.Copy !req
127. THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF REGINALD MAUDLING.Copy !req
128. THE HAND.Copy !req
129. GOOD EVENING.Copy !req
130. I HAVE WITH ME
IN THE STUDIO TONIGHTCopy !req
131. MR. NORMAN
ST. JOHN POLEVAULTERCopy !req
132. WHO, FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS,
HAS BEEN CONTRADICTING PEOPLE.Copy !req
133. MR. POLEVAULTER,
WHY DO YOU CONTRADICT PEOPLE?Copy !req
134. I DON'T.Copy !req
135. YOU TOLD ME YOU DID.Copy !req
136. I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT.Copy !req
137. OH, I SEE.Copy !req
138. I'LL START AGAIN.Copy !req
139. NO, YOU WON'T.Copy !req
140. SHH!Copy !req
141. MR. POLEVAULTERCopy !req
142. I UNDERSTAND
YOU DON'T CONTRADICT PEOPLE.Copy !req
143. YES, I DO.Copy !req
144. WHEN DIDN'T YOU STARTCopy !req
145. CONTRADICTING PEOPLE?Copy !req
146. WELL, I DID IN 1952.Copy !req
147. 1952?Copy !req
148. 1947.Copy !req
149. 23 YEARS AGO?Copy !req
150. NO.Copy !req
151. AND SO ONCopy !req
152. AND SO ON AND SO ON.Copy !req
153. AND NOW...Copy !req
154. THE TOP OF THE HEAD.Copy !req
155. THE FEATHER... RARE.Copy !req
156. THE NOSE.Copy !req
157. COME IN.Copy !req
158. AH, MR. LUXURY YACHT.Copy !req
159. DO SIT DOWN, PLEASE.Copy !req
160. AH, NO, NO.Copy !req
161. MY NAME IS SPELLED
"LUXURY YACHT"Copy !req
162. BUT IT'S PRONOUNCEDCopy !req
163. "THROATWOBBLER MANGROVE."Copy !req
164. AH, WELL, DO
SIT DOWN, THENCopy !req
165. MR. THROATWOBBLER
MANGROVE.Copy !req
166. THANK YOU.Copy !req
167. NOW, WHAT SEEMS
TO BE THE TROUBLE?Copy !req
168. UM...Copy !req
169. I'D LIKE YOU TO PERFORM
SOME PLASTIC SURGERY ON ME.Copy !req
170. I SEE, AND WHICH PARTICULAR
FEATURE OF YOUR ANATOMYCopy !req
171. IS CAUSING YOU DISTRESS?Copy !req
172. WELL, WELL, FOR A LONG
TIME NOW, IN FACTCopy !req
173. EVEN WHEN I WAS A CHILD, I...
YOU KNOW, WHENEVER I LEFT HOMECopy !req
174. TO CATCH A BUS
OR TO CATCH A TRAIN...Copy !req
175. AND EVEN MY TENNIS
HAS SUFFERED, ACTUALLY...Copy !req
176. YES, TO BE
ABSOLUTELY BLUNTCopy !req
177. YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT
YOUR ENORMOUS HOOTER.Copy !req
178. NO!Copy !req
179. NO?Copy !req
180. YES.Copy !req
181. YES, AND
YOU WANT MECopy !req
182. TO HACK A BIT OFF.Copy !req
183. PLEASE.Copy !req
184. FINE.Copy !req
185. IT IS A STARTLER,
ISN'T IT?Copy !req
186. UH, DO YOU MIND
IF I, UH?Copy !req
187. WHAT?Copy !req
188. OH, NO, NOTHING, THEN.Copy !req
189. WELL, I'LL JUST
EXAMINE YOUR NOSE.Copy !req
190. MR. LUXURY YACHT,
THIS, UM...Copy !req
191. THIS NOSE OF YOURS
IS FALSE.Copy !req
192. IT'S MADE OF POLYSTYRENE.Copy !req
193. AND YOUR
OWN HOOTER'S A BEAUT.Copy !req
194. NO PRUNING NECESSARY.Copy !req
195. I'D STILL LIKE
THE OPERATION.Copy !req
196. WELL, YOU'VE HAD THE
OPERATION, YOU STRANGE PERSON.Copy !req
197. PLEASE DO AN OPERATION.Copy !req
198. WELL, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
199. BUT ONLY IF YOU'LL COME ON
A CAMPING HOLIDAY WITH ME.Copy !req
200. HE ASKED ME!
HE ASKED ME!Copy !req
201. NEXT WEEK, WE'LL BE SHOWING YOUCopy !req
202. HOW TO PICK UP AN ARCHITECT,
HOW TO PULL A PRIME MINISTERCopy !req
203. AND HOW TO HAVE FUN
WITH A WHOLESALE POULTERER.Copy !req
204. BUT NOW, THE MEN OF THE
DERBYSHIRE LIGHT INFANTRYCopy !req
205. ENTERTAIN US WITH A PRECISION
DISPLAY OF BAD TEMPER.Copy !req
206. ATTENTION!Copy !req
207. MY GOODNESS ME!Copy !req
208. I AM IN A BAD TEMPER TODAY!Copy !req
209. ALL RIGHT, TWO, THREE,
DAMN, DAMN, TWO, THREECopy !req
210. I AM VEXED AND RATTY,
TWO, THREECopy !req
211. AND HOPPING MAD.Copy !req
212. AND NEXT, THE MEN OF THE SECOND
ARMOURED DIVISION REGALE USCopy !req
213. WITH THEIR FAMOUS
CLOSE ORDER SWANNING ABOUT.Copy !req
214. SQUAD...
CAMP IT UP!Copy !req
215. OOH, GET HER! WHOOPS!Copy !req
216. I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER, DUCKY.Copy !req
217. YOU COULDN'T AFFORD ME,
DEAR, TWO, THREE.Copy !req
218. I'LL SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT.Copy !req
219. DON'T COME THE BRIGADIER BIT
WITH US, DEAR.Copy !req
220. WE ALL KNOW
WHERE YOU'VE BEENCopy !req
221. YOU MILITARY FAIRY.Copy !req
222. WHOOPS, DON'T LOOK NOW, GIRLS.Copy !req
223. THE MAJOR'S JUST MINCED IN
WITH THAT DOLLY COLOR SERGEANT.Copy !req
224. TWO, THREE.Copy !req
225. OOH-HO!Copy !req
226. AND FINALLY...Copy !req
227. GOD, IF THEY DON'T STOP,
I'LL KILL MYSELF.Copy !req
228. I SWEAR, I WILL.Copy !req
229. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!Copy !req
230. FOR THREE DAYS AND NIGHTSCopy !req
231. THE DISPLACED EYEBALL
PLUMMETED EARTHWARDCopy !req
232. UNTIL...Copy !req
233. OH!Copy !req
234. OH!Copy !req
235. WHAT'S THIS?Copy !req
236. KEEP LOW, KEEP
DOWN, DON'T LAG BEHIND.Copy !req
237. COME ON, EVERYBODY,
THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
238. KEEP CLOSE, THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
239. WATCH OUT FOR
THE KILLER CARS.Copy !req
240. VROOM!Copy !req
241. YES, THE KILLER CARS.Copy !req
242. FOR YEARS, THE CITY
HAD BEEN PLAGUEDCopy !req
243. BY EVER-INCREASING
PEDESTRIAN CONGESTION.Copy !req
244. IN AN ATTEMPT
TO ELIMINATE THIS PROBLEMCopy !req
245. CERTAIN FANATICAL CARSCopy !req
246. HAD TAKEN THE LAW
INTO THEIR OWN HANDS.Copy !req
247. VROOM, VROOM!Copy !req
248. VROOM!Copy !req
249. V-V-VROOM.Copy !req
250. BUT THE DAYS OF THE KILLER
CARS WERE NUMBEREDCopy !req
251. THANKS TO THE MIRACLE
OF ATOMIC MUTATION.Copy !req
252. VROOM!Copy !req
253. VROOM!Copy !req
254. OH, THANK YOU!Copy !req
255. YOU'VE SAVED OUR CITY!Copy !req
256. BUT AT WHAT COST?Copy !req
257. OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.Copy !req
258. YOU'VE SAVED OUR CITY.Copy !req
259. OF COURSE, THERE WERE THOSE
WHO CHOSE TO LEAVE TOWN.Copy !req
260. THIS, THEN, IS THE STORY
OF TWO OF THEM.Copy !req
261. MORNING, SIR,
CAN I HELP YOU?Copy !req
262. YES, WE'VE BOOKED ON
YOUR FLIGHT FOR AMERICA.Copy !req
263. OH, WE DON'T
FLY TO AMERICA.Copy !req
264. OH! THE AMERICAN FLIGHT.Copy !req
265. ON THE PLANE... OH, YES.Copy !req
266. OH, WE DO THAT,
ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
267. SAFE AS HOUSES,
NO NEED FOR PANIC.Copy !req
268. IS IT REALLY 37 AND SIX?Copy !req
269. 30 BOB... I'M ROBBING MYSELF.Copy !req
270. 30 BOB?Copy !req
271. TWENTY-FIVE.Copy !req
272. TWO QUID
THE PAIR OF YOU.Copy !req
273. THAT'S
WITHOUT INSURANCE.Copy !req
274. WELL, HOW MUCH IS
IT WITH INSURANCE?Copy !req
275. 102 QUID.Copy !req
276. THAT'S INCLUDING
THE FLIGHT.Copy !req
277. HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?Copy !req
278. UH, LET ME PUT IT
THIS WAY... NO IDEA.Copy !req
279. SIX HOURS.Copy !req
280. SIX?Copy !req
281. FIVE... TEN FOR
THE PAIR OF YOU.Copy !req
282. OH, IS IT A JET?Copy !req
283. UH... WELL, NO.Copy !req
284. IT'S NOT SO MUCH A JET.Copy !req
285. IT'S MORE YOUR TRIUMPH
HERALD ENGINE WITH WINGS.Copy !req
286. WHEN ARE YOU TAKING OFF?Copy !req
287. 3300 HOURS.Copy !req
288. WHAT?Copy !req
289. 2600 HOURS FOR
THE PAIR OF YOU.Copy !req
290. WHAT?Copy !req
291. HAVE THE INJECTIONS,
YOU WON'T CARE.Copy !req
292. WHAT INJECTIONS?Copy !req
293. BARLEY SUGAR INJECTIONS;
CALM YOU DOWN.Copy !req
294. THEY'RE COMPULSORY,
BOARD OF TRADE, PROMISE.Copy !req
295. OH, I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF INJECTIONS.Copy !req
296. HELLO, YES, RIGHT.Copy !req
297. YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE YOUR
MIND UP STRAIGHT AWAYCopy !req
298. IF YOU'RE COMING OR NOT.Copy !req
299. YES.Copy !req
300. RIGHT, YOU CAN'T
CHANGE YOUR MIND.Copy !req
301. I'LL RING THE
DEPARTURE LOUNGE.Copy !req
302. HELLO?Copy !req
303. TWO MORE ON THE WAY,
MRS. TURPIN.Copy !req
304. AH.Copy !req
305. NOW, THE DUTY-FREE
TROLLEY IS OVER THERE.Copy !req
306. THERE'S SOME
LOVELY DROP SCONESCopy !req
307. AND SOME
DUTY-FREE BROCCOLICopy !req
308. AND THERE'S
FRESH ECCLES CAKES.Copy !req
309. YOU'RE ALLOWED 200 EACH
ON THE PLANE.Copy !req
310. THE VERRIFAST PLANE COMPANY
ANNOUNCECopy !req
311. THE DEPARTURE OF FLIGHT ONE
TO OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY.Copy !req
312. WILL PASSENGERS
FOR FLIGHT ONECopy !req
313. PLEASE ASSEMBLE
AT GATE ONE.Copy !req
314. PASSENGERS ARE ADVISEDCopy !req
315. THAT THERE IS
STILL PLENTY OF TIMECopy !req
316. TO BUY ECCLES CAKES.Copy !req
317. NEARLY READY.Copy !req
318. WILL PASSENGERS PLEASE GET READYCopy !req
319. FOR THEIR BARLEY SUGAR
INJECTIONS.Copy !req
320. TODAY WE ALL TAKE VOW.Copy !req
321. TODAY WE SMASH
THE ENEMY FLEET!Copy !req
322. WE... SMASH... SMASH!Copy !req
323. THAT'S MR. KAMIKAZE, THE PILOT.Copy !req
324. HE'S VERY NICE, REALLYCopy !req
325. BUT MAKE SURE HE STAYS
CLEAR OF BATTLESHIPS.Copy !req
326. THERE HAVE BEEN MANY
STIRRING TALES TOLD OF THE SEACopy !req
327. AND ALSO SOME FAIRLY
UNINTERESTING ONESCopy !req
328. ONLY MARGINALLY CONNECTED
WITH IT, LIKE THIS ONE.Copy !req
329. SORRY, THIS ISN'T A VERY
GOOD ANNOUNCEMENT, SORRY.Copy !req
330. AND HERE IS THE RESULTCopy !req
331. OF THE "WHERE TO PUT EDWARD
HEATH'S STATUE" COMPETITION.Copy !req
332. THE WINNER WAS A MR. IVY NORTHCopy !req
333. WHO WINS TEN GUINEAS AND A VISIT
TO THE SAILORS' QUARTERS.Copy !req
334. THAT WAS LAST YEAR'S REENACTMENT
OF THE BATTLE OF PEARL HARBORCopy !req
335. PERFORMED BY THE BATLEY
TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD.Copy !req
336. IT WAS WRITTEN, DIRECTED AND
PRODUCED BY MRS. RITA FAIRBANKS.Copy !req
337. HELLO AGAIN.Copy !req
338. AND WHAT
ARE YOUR LADIESCopy !req
339. GOING TO DO
FOR US THIS YEAR?Copy !req
340. WELL, THIS YEAR
WE DECIDED TO REENACTCopy !req
341. SOMETHING WITH
A MORE MODERN FLAVOR.Copy !req
342. WE HAD CONSIDEREDCopy !req
343. A VERSION OF MICHAEL STEWART'S
SPEECH ON NIGERIACopy !req
344. AND THERE WERE SEVERAL VOTES
ON THE COMMITTEECopy !req
345. FOR A STAGING OF HERR WILLY
BRANDT'S VISIT TO EAST GERMANY.Copy !req
346. BUT WE'VE SETTLED INSTEADCopy !req
347. FOR A DRAMATIZATION
OF THE FIRST HEART TRANSPLANT.Copy !req
348. INCIDENTALLY, MY SISTER MADGE
WILL BE PLAYINGCopy !req
349. THE PLUCKY LITTLE SPRINGBOK
PIONEER DR. CHRISTIAN BARNARD.Copy !req
350. WELL, OFF
WE GO, THENCopy !req
351. WITH THE BATLEY TOWNSWOMEN'S
GUILD REENACTMENTCopy !req
352. OF THE FIRST
HEART TRANSPLANT.Copy !req
353. THE FIRST HEART TRANSPLANT.Copy !req
354. BUT THIS IS NOT THE ONLY
OPEN-AIR PRODUCTION HERECopy !req
355. THAT HAS USED THE SEA.Copy !req
356. THE THEATRICAL MANAGERS
IN THIS AREACopy !req
357. HAVE NOT BEEN SLOW TO APPRECIATECopy !req
358. THE SEA'S TREMENDOUS
DRAMATIC VALUE.Copy !req
359. AND SOMEWHERE OUT IN THIS BAY ISCopy !req
360. THE FIRST UNDERWATER PRODUCTION
OF MEASURE FOR MEASURE.Copy !req
361. SERVANT HO!Copy !req
362. FINE.Copy !req
363. THE UNDERWATER VERSION
OF MEASURE FOR MEASURE.Copy !req
364. AND FURTHER OUT TO SEACopy !req
365. HELLO, DOLLY!
IS ALSO DOING GOOD BUSINESS.Copy !req
366. AND OVER THERE ON THE OYSTER
BEDS, FORMULA TWO CAR RACING.Copy !req
367. THE ARMPITS.Copy !req
368. THE BOTTOM TWO-
THIRDS OF THE NAPE OF THE NECK.Copy !req
369. THE NIPPLE.Copy !req
370. And that
concludes this week's episodeCopy !req
371. of How to Recognize
Different Parts of the BodyCopy !req
372. adapted for radioCopy !req
373. by Ann Haydon-Jones
and her husband, Pip.Copy !req
374. And now we present
the first episodeCopy !req
375. of a new radio drama seriesCopy !req
376. The Death
of Mary Queen of Scots.Copy !req
377. Part one, the beginning.Copy !req
378. You are Mary Queen of Scots?Copy !req
379. I am.Copy !req
380. Episode two of The
Death of Mary Queen of ScotsCopy !req
381. can be heard on Radio 4
almost immediately.Copy !req
382. I think she's dead.Copy !req
383. No, I'm not.Copy !req
384. That was Episode 2 of
The Death of Mary Queen of ScotsCopy !req
385. adapted for the radio by Bernard
Hollowood and Brian London.Copy !req
386. And now, Radio 4 will explode.Copy !req
387. WE'LL HAVE TO WATCH
THE TELLY, THEN.Copy !req
388. YES.Copy !req
389. WELL, WHAT'S ON
THE TELEVISION, THEN?Copy !req
390. LOOKS LIKE A PENGUIN.Copy !req
391. NO, NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
392. I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT'S
ON THE TELEVISION SETCopy !req
393. I MEANT WHAT PROGRAM!Copy !req
394. OH.Copy !req
395. OOH.Copy !req
396. FUNNY THAT PENGUIN
BEING THERE, INNIT?Copy !req
397. WHAT'S IT DOING THERE?Copy !req
398. STANDING.Copy !req
399. I CAN SEE THAT!Copy !req
400. IF IT LAYS AN EGG...Copy !req
401. IT WILL FALL
DOWN THE BACKCopy !req
402. OF THE TELEVISION SET.Copy !req
403. WE'LL HAVE
TO WATCH THAT.Copy !req
404. MMM.Copy !req
405. UNLESS IT'S A MALE.Copy !req
406. OOH, I NEVER
THOUGHT OF THAT.Copy !req
407. YES, LOOKS FAIRLY BUTCH.Copy !req
408. PERHAPS IT COMES
FROM NEXT DOOR.Copy !req
409. PENGUINS DON'T COME
FROM NEXT DOOR.Copy !req
410. THEY COME
FROM THE ANTARCTIC!Copy !req
411. BURMA!Copy !req
412. WHY DID YOU SAY "BURMA"?Copy !req
413. I PANICKED.Copy !req
414. OH.Copy !req
415. PERHAPS IT'S
FROM THE ZOO.Copy !req
416. WHICH ZOO?Copy !req
417. HOW SHOULD I KNOW
WHICH ZOO?Copy !req
418. I'M NOT
DR. BLOODY BRONOWSKI!Copy !req
419. HOW DOES
DR. BRONOWSKI KNOWCopy !req
420. WHICH ZOO
IT CAME FROM?Copy !req
421. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.Copy !req
422. OH, I WOULDN'T
LIKE THAT.Copy !req
423. IT WOULD TAKE
THE MYSTERY OUT OF LIFE.Copy !req
424. ANYWAY, IF IT
CAME FROM THE ZOOCopy !req
425. IT WOULD HAVE
"PROPERTY OF THE ZOO"Copy !req
426. STAMPED ON IT.Copy !req
427. NO, IT WOULDN'T.Copy !req
428. THEY DON'T STAMP ANIMALS
"PROPERTY OF THE ZOO."Copy !req
429. YOU COULDN'T STAMP
A HUGE LION.Copy !req
430. THEY STAMP THEM
WHEN THEY'RE SMALL.Copy !req
431. WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN THEY MOLT?Copy !req
432. LIONS DON'T MOLT.Copy !req
433. NO, BUT PENGUINS DO.Copy !req
434. THERE, I'VE RUN RINGS
ROUND YOU LOGICALLY.Copy !req
435. OH, INTERCOURSE
THE PENGUIN.Copy !req
436. It's just gone 8:00Copy !req
437. and time for the penguin
on top of your television setCopy !req
438. to explode.Copy !req
439. HOW DID HE KNOW THAT
WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?Copy !req
440. It was an inspired guess.Copy !req
441. And now...Copy !req
442. THE SHIN.Copy !req
443. REGINALD MAUDLING'S SHIN.Copy !req
444. THE BRAIN.Copy !req
445. MARGARET THATCHER'S BRAIN.Copy !req
446. MORE NAUGHTY BITS.Copy !req
447. THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF THE CABINET.Copy !req
448. THE INTERIOR
OF A COUNTRY HOUSE.Copy !req
449. THAT'S NOT A PART
OF THE BODY.Copy !req
450. NO, IT'S A LINK, THOUGH.Copy !req
451. I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS VERY GOOD.Copy !req
452. NO, IT'S THE END
OF THE SERIES.Copy !req
453. THEY MUST BE RUNNING
OUT OF IDEAS.Copy !req
454. ALL RIGHT,
DON'T ANYBODY MOVE.Copy !req
455. THERE'S
BEEN A MURDER.Copy !req
456. A MURDER?Copy !req
457. NO, NO,
NOT MURDER, NO.Copy !req
458. WHAT'S LIKE A MURDER
BUT BEGINS WITH "B"?Copy !req
459. BIRMINGHAM?Copy !req
460. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
461. BURNLEY?Copy !req
462. BURNLEY,
THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
463. BURNLEY
IN LANCASHIRE.Copy !req
464. THERE'S BEEN
A BURNLEY.Copy !req
465. BURGLARY!Copy !req
466. BURGLARY.Copy !req
467. YES, GOOD MAN.Copy !req
468. BURGLARY... THAT'S
IT, OF COURSE.Copy !req
469. THERE'S BEEN
A BURGLARY.Copy !req
470. WHERE?Copy !req
471. IN THE BACK, JUST BELOW THE RIB.Copy !req
472. NO, THAT'S MURDER.Copy !req
473. OH, NO... IN THE, UH, THE BAND.Copy !req
474. IN THE BAT... BARCLAYS BAT.Copy !req
475. BARCLAYS BANK?Copy !req
476. YES, NASTY BUSINESS.Copy !req
477. GOT AWAY WITH £23,000.Copy !req
478. ANY CLUES?Copy !req
479. ANY WHAT?Copy !req
480. WELL, ANY EVIDENCE
AS TO WHO DID IT?Copy !req
481. ANY CLUES, EH?Copy !req
482. OH, WE DON'T
HALF TALK POSH, DO WE?Copy !req
483. I SUPPOSE
WE SAY "EHNVELOPE"Copy !req
484. AND "LARNGERIE"Copy !req
485. AND "SARNDWICHES
ON THE SETTEE."Copy !req
486. WELL, THIS IS A MURDER
INVESTIGATION, YOUNG MANCopy !req
487. AND MURDER IS
A VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS!Copy !req
488. I THOUGHT YOU
SAID IT WAS A BURGLARY.Copy !req
489. BURGLARY IS ALMOST AS SERIOUS
A BUSINESS AS MURDER.Copy !req
490. SOME BURGLARIES ARE
MORE SERIOUS THAN MURDER.Copy !req
491. A BURGLARY IN WHICH SOMEONE
GETS STABBED IS MURDER.Copy !req
492. SO DON'T COME THESE PETTY
DISTINCTIONS WITH ME.Copy !req
493. YOU'RE AS BAD AS A JUDGE.Copy !req
494. RIGHT! NOW,
THE FIRST THING TO DOCopy !req
495. IN THE EVENT OF A BREACH
OF A PEACE OF ANY KINDCopy !req
496. IS TO GO AND...Copy !req
497. SORRY, SORRY,
I WAS MILES AWAY.Copy !req
498. RING THE POLICE?Copy !req
499. RING THE POLICE.Copy !req
500. YES, THAT'S
A GOOD IDEA.Copy !req
501. GET THEM
OVER HERE FAST.Copy !req
502. NO, ON SECOND THOUGHTSCopy !req
503. GET THEM OVER
HERE SLOWLYCopy !req
504. SO THEY DON'T
DROP ANYTHING.Copy !req
505. SHALL I MAKE US ALL
A CUP OF TEA?Copy !req
506. MAKE WHAT YOU LIKE,
BOSKOVITCH.Copy !req
507. IT WON'T HELP
YOU IN COURT.Copy !req
508. I BEG YOUR PARDON?Copy !req
509. I'M SORRY, SORRY.Copy !req
510. THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH
BEING ON TWO CASES AT ONCE.Copy !req
511. I KEEP THINKING I'VE
GOT BOSKOVITCH CORNEREDCopy !req
512. WHEREAS IN FACT,
I'M INVESTIGATING A BURNLEY.Copy !req
513. BURGLARY.Copy !req
514. YES... GOOD MAN.Copy !req
515. WHO'S...
WHO'S BOSKOVITCH?Copy !req
516. HA!Copy !req
517. BOSKOVITCH
IS A RUSSIAN SCIENTISTCopy !req
518. WHO'S PASSING INFORMATION
TO THE RUSSIANS.Copy !req
519. CLASSIFIED
INFORMATION?Copy !req
520. OH, THERE HE
GOES AGAIN.Copy !req
521. "CLASSIFIED
INFORMATION"?Copy !req
522. OH, SITTING ON THE SETTEECopy !req
523. WITH OUR SCONES AND OUR
CLASSIFIED INFORMATION?Copy !req
524. AH, HELLO, DUCKIE.Copy !req
525. HELLO, SIR, HOW ARE YOU?Copy !req
526. FINE, THANKS,
HOW ARE YOU?Copy !req
527. WELL, SIRCopy !req
528. I'M A LITTLE BIT
MOODY TODAY, SIR.Copy !req
529. WHY IS THAT, DUCKIE?Copy !req
530. BECAUSE...Copy !req
531. ETCETERA, ETCETERA.Copy !req
532. LOVELY SONG.Copy !req
533. AND THAT'S
THE FINAL ENTRYCopy !req
534. LA DERNIERE ENTREE,
DAS FINAL ENTRY.Copy !req
535. AND NOW, GUTEN ABEND.Copy !req
536. DIE SCORES, DER SCORES,
LES SCORES, DEL SCORES.Copy !req
537. OH, SCORES... HA! SCORES!Copy !req
538. YES, MONACO IS THE WINNER.Copy !req
539. HA! MONACO IS THE LINNER.Copy !req
540. OH, YES, MAN, MONACO'S WON
DE BIG PRIZE, BWANA.Copy !req
541. AND NOW, HERE IS CHIEF INSPECTOR
JEAN-PAUL ZATAPATHIQUECopy !req
542. WITH THE WINNING SONG,
ONCE AGAIN.Copy !req
543. AND SO, INSPECTOR ZATAPATHIQUECopy !req
544. THE FORENSIC EXPERT
FROM THE MONACO MURDER SQUADCopy !req
545. SINGS HIS SONG,
"BING TIDDLE TIDDLE BONG."Copy !req
546. QUOI? QUOI?Copy !req
547. TOUT LE MONDE, QUOI?Copy !req
548. POURQUOI?Copy !req
549. LE MONDE EST ROND...Copy !req
550. MAIS...Copy !req
551. MAIS JE NE SAIS PAS...Copy !req
552. VRAIMENT...Copy !req
553. D'HABITUDE...Copy !req
554. MAIS...Copy !req
555. JE...Copy !req
556. PENSE...Copy !req
557. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
558. THE END.Copy !req