1. HELLO, GOOD EVENING
AND WELCOME TO IT'S A LIVING.Copy !req
2. THE RULES ARE VERY SIMPLE.Copy !req
3. EACH WEEK WE GET A LARGE FEE.Copy !req
4. WE GET ANOTHER LARGE FEE.Copy !req
5. IF THERE'S BEEN NO INTERRUPTIONCopy !req
6. IF THERE'S NO NEW SERIES.Copy !req
7. EVERY CONTESTANT, IN ADDITIONCopy !req
8. AT THE BBCCopy !req
9. OR, IF THE SHOW IS OVER,Copy !req
10. UNLESS HE'S AN M.P.Copy !req
11. ONLY THREE DRINKS IN TOTO.Copy !req
12. ON LATE NIGHT LINEUP.Copy !req
13. WELL, THOSE ARE THE RULES,
THAT'S THE GAMECopy !req
14. WE'LL BE BACK AGAIN
SAME TIME NEXT WEEK.Copy !req
15. TILL THEN, BYE-BYE.Copy !req
16. WELL, IT'S FIVE PAST NINECopy !req
17. FOR SIX PAST NINE.Copy !req
18. ON BBC 2 IT'LL SHORTLY BE
6½ MINUTES PAST NINE.Copy !req
19. LATER ON THIS EVENING,
IT'LL BE 10:00Copy !req
20. AND AT 10:30, WE'LL BE JOINING
BBC 2 IN TIME FOR 10:33.Copy !req
21. AND DON'T FORGET TOMORROW,
WHEN IT'LL BE 9:20.Copy !req
22. WHO MISSED 8:45 ON FRIDAYCopy !req
23. AT A QUARTER TO NINE.Copy !req
24. IT'S 6½ MINUTES
TO THE BIG GREEN THING.Copy !req
25. YOU'RE A LOONY.Copy !req
26. I GET SO BORED,
I GET SO BLOODY BORED.Copy !req
27. THIS WAY, PLEASE.Copy !req
28. RIGHT-O, I'M COMING.Copy !req
29. YES, SIR...
THIS WAY, EH?Copy !req
30. BLOODY HELL,
WHERE ARE THE LIGHTS?Copy !req
31. OH, DAMN, WHERE ARE THEY?Copy !req
32. HOW DOES THIS TURN OFF?Copy !req
33. OH, I'M UNSTUCK.Copy !req
34. OH! AH! OH!Copy !req
35. WHERE ARE THE LIGHTS?Copy !req
36. OH! OH, HERE THEY ARE.Copy !req
37. OOH!Copy !req
38. THAT I DIDN'T SAYCopy !req
39. "AND NOW FOR SOMETHING
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT" JUST NOW.Copy !req
40. THIS WEEK.Copy !req
41. SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU.Copy !req
42. I'M TERRIBLY SORRY TO INTERRUPT,
BUT MY TOOTH'S HURTINGCopy !req
43. JUST AROUND HERE.Copy !req
44. GET OFF!Copy !req
45. OH, SORRY.Copy !req
46. I'M NOT SORRY TO INTERRUPT.Copy !req
47. I'LL INTERRUPT ANYTHINGCopy !req
48. LIKE AT MY OLD SCHOOL WHERE,Copy !req
49. IS GOING ON AT THIS VERY MOMENT.Copy !req
50. MY LORD MAYOR, LADY MAYORESS...Copy !req
51. IN THIS CENTENARY YEAR.Copy !req
52. IN ITS FINE RECORD OF...Copy !req
53. SCHOLARSHIP
AND SPORTING ACHIEVEMENT...Copy !req
54. I'M... I'M AFRAID
THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE.Copy !req
55. TO YOU IS AN IMPOSTOR.Copy !req
56. BY THE POLICE.Copy !req
57. AND ANYBODY WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE
ME CAN LOOK ME UP IN THE BOOK.Copy !req
58. NOW THEN, THE FIRST PRIZE ISCopy !req
59. WHICH HAS BEEN WON BY ME.Copy !req
60. APPLIED MATHEMATICS.Copy !req
61. WELL, THERE WASCopy !req
62. IN MY SACK.Copy !req
63. ALSO GO IN MY SACK...Copy !req
64. VELLY SOLLY FOR HOLD-UP.Copy !req
65. NO PROBLEM NOW.Copy !req
66. ME, BISHOP OF EAST ANGLIA,
NOW PRESENT PRIZES.Copy !req
67. EYES DOWN FOR FIRST PRIZE...Copy !req
68. GOES TO...
PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA!Copy !req
69. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
70. MY NAME'S BRADSHAW...
INSPECTOR ELIZABETH BRADSHAW...Copy !req
71. BUT I'D LIKE YOU TO THINK OF MECopy !req
72. AND I'D LIKE TO PRESENT
THE FIRST PRIZE...Copy !req
73. THE GRIMWADE GYNN...Copy !req
74. LORD MAYOR, LADY MAYORESS,
MR. CHAIRMANCopy !req
75. LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND BOYS,
PLEASE DO NOT PANIC.Copy !req
76. AND AT THE BACK, PLEASE KEEP
YOUR HEADS RIGHT DOWN.Copy !req
77. DO NOT PANIC, DON'T LOOK ROUND,
THIS BUILDING IS SURROUNDED.Copy !req
78. TO WORRY ABOUT.Copy !req
79. I AM THE BISHOP OF EAST ANGLIA.Copy !req
80. NOW, THE FIRST PRIZE ISCopy !req
81. FOR FRENCH UNSEEN TRANSLATION.Copy !req
82. AND IT GOES TO FORBES MINOR...
FORBES MINOR.Copy !req
83. RIGHT, GIVE HIM COVERING FIRE.Copy !req
84. COME ON, FORBES, COME ON, BOY!Copy !req
85. COME AND GET IT, KEEP DOWN.Copy !req
86. WELL DONE.Copy !req
87. OH, BAD LUCK!Copy !req
88. THE NEXT PRIZE...Copy !req
89. MR. L.F. DIBLEY'S
LATEST FILM, IF.Copy !req
90. MR. DIBLEY, SOME PEOPLECopy !req
91. BETWEEN YOUR FILM, IFCopy !req
92. AND MR. LINDSAY
ANDERSON'S FILM, IFCopy !req
93. AT A PUBLIC SCHOOL.Copy !req
94. OH, YES, WELL, I MEANCopy !req
95. WHO SAID MY FILM,
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEYCopy !req
96. TO STANLEY KUBRICK'S.Copy !req
97. I MEAN, THAT'S THE SORTCopy !req
98. THAT'S DOGGED MY CAREER.Copy !req
99. IT MAKES ME SICK.Copy !req
100. I MEAN, AS SOON
AS I'D MADE MIDNIGHT COWBOYCopy !req
101. WHILE MINE'S STILL
AT THE CHEMIST'S.Copy !req
102. WELL, WE HAVE WITH US TONIGHT
ONE OF YOUR FILMS, REAR WINDOWCopy !req
103. A FEW WEEKS LATER.Copy !req
104. NOW, THIS IS A SILENT FILMCopy !req
105. TALK US THROUGH IT.Copy !req
106. YES, WELL,
LET'S SEE, NOWCopy !req
107. THERE'S
THE REAR WINDOW.Copy !req
108. THERE'S THE MAN LOOKING
OUT OF THE WINDOW.Copy !req
109. HE SEES THE MURDER.Copy !req
110. THE MURDERER'S COME INTOCopy !req
111. BUT HE'S OUTWITTED HIM
AND HE'S ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
112. THE END.Copy !req
113. I MEAN, ALFRED HITCHCOCKCopy !req
114. WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BECopy !req
115. PADDED THAT OUT TO 1½ HOURS.Copy !req
116. THE TENSION.Copy !req
117. HE MADE £3 MILLION
MORE THAN I DID.Copy !req
118. MIND YOU,
AT LEAST SHE CAN ACT A BIT.Copy !req
119. IN FINIAN'S RAINBOW.Copy !req
120. WAS TERRIBLE.Copy !req
121. A REAL FAILURE THAT WAS...
TEN SECONDS OF SOLID BOREDOM.Copy !req
122. BLOODY TERRIBLE.Copy !req
123. MR. L.F. DIBLEY'S
FINIAN'S RAINBOW.Copy !req
124. AND NOW OVER TO ME.Copy !req
125. WE HAVE THE FOREIGN SECRETARY,Copy !req
126. IN THE GULF OF AMMAN.Copy !req
127. HE'S GOING TO TELL US
ABOUT CANOEING.Copy !req
128. OF WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE.Copy !req
129. COMMITTEE'S REPORTCopy !req
130. ON INDUSTRIAL REORGANIZATION.Copy !req
131. IT'S TAKEN FIVE YEARS TO PREPARECopy !req
132. AND IT'S BOUND TO HAVECopy !req
133. RELATIONS IN THIS COUNTRY.Copy !req
134. LORD PORTMAN,Copy !req
135. SIR CHARLES AVERY, EMPLOYERS'Copy !req
136. AND RAY MILLICHOPE, LEADER OF
THE ALLIED TECHNICIANS' UNIONCopy !req
137. AND THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE
A HUMAN PYRAMID.Copy !req
138. BRA-VO!Copy !req
139. OF THE BOARD OF TRADE.Copy !req
140. GOOD EVENING.Copy !req
141. NOW HERE'S
THE VICE-CHAIRMAN OF I.C.I.Copy !req
142. GOOD EVENING.Copy !req
143. WELL, SO MUCH FOR POLITICSCopy !req
144. AND THE PROBLEMS OF BRITAIN'S
INDUSTRIAL REORGANIZATION.Copy !req
145. AND REG HARRIS, THE FORMERCopy !req
146. OF BIG RACE PREPARATION.Copy !req
147. AND NOW THE WORLD OF SONG...
ANNE ZEIGLER AND WEBSTER BOOTH.Copy !req
148. WELL, ALL GOOD THINGSCopy !req
149. AND THAT'S ALL FOR THIS WEEK,Copy !req
150. DAME IRENE STOAT, WHO CELEBRATES
HER 85th BIRTHDAY THIS MONTHCopy !req
151. MOST FAMOUS POEMS.Copy !req
152. "WHO SHALL DECLARE THIS GOOD,Copy !req
153. "WHEN GOOD AND ILL SO INTERTWINECopy !req
154. "OF AN OMNISCIENT WILL.Copy !req
155. BUT TURNS TO LOSS..."Copy !req
156. "WHEN EARTHLY TREASURECopy !req
157. "AND WHAT SEEMED LOSTCopy !req
158. TO HIGH ETERNAL GAIN."Copy !req
159. MARVELOUS HOLIDAY.Copy !req
160. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.Copy !req
161. WONDERFUL.Copy !req
162. MICHAEL, YOU TELL
THEM ABOUT IT.Copy !req
163. NO, DARLING, YOU
COULD TELL IT BETTER.Copy !req
164. EXCUSE ME A MOMENT.Copy !req
165. DUNG, SIR.Copy !req
166. WHAT?Copy !req
167. WE GOT YOUR DUNG.Copy !req
168. WHAT DUNG?Copy !req
169. OF HEAVY DROPPINGS.Copy !req
170. WHERE DO YOU WANT IT?Copy !req
171. I DIDN'T ORDER
ANY DUNG.Copy !req
172. YES, YOU DID, SIR.Copy !req
173. THE BOOK-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB.Copy !req
174. THE-MONTH CLUB?Copy !req
175. THAT'S RIGHT, SIR.Copy !req
176. THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT'S WOMANCopy !req
177. AND WITH EVERY THIRD BOOK,
YOU GET DUNG.Copy !req
178. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
WHEN I SIGNED THE FORM.Copy !req
179. WELL, NO, NO,
IT WASN'T ON THE FORM.Copy !req
180. THEY FOUND IT WASN'T GOOD
FOR BUSINESS.Copy !req
181. OF DUNG IN THE VAN.Copy !req
182. WHERE DO YOU WANT IT?Copy !req
183. I DON'T
THINK WE DO.Copy !req
184. WE'VE NO GARDEN.Copy !req
185. IT'LL FIT HERE... IT'S
TOP-CLASS EXCREMENT.Copy !req
186. YOU CAN'T
PUT IT IN HERE.Copy !req
187. WE'VE HAVING
A DINNER PARTY!Copy !req
188. IT'S ALL RIGHT,
I'LL PUT IT ON THE TELLY.Copy !req
189. DARLING, THERE'SCopy !req
190. THE-MONTH-CLUB DUNG.Copy !req
191. WE'VE NO ROOM, DEAR.Copy !req
192. WELL, HOW MANY ROOMS
HAVE YOU GOT, THEN?Copy !req
193. WELL, THERE'S ONLY THIS ROOM,
THE BEDROOM, A SPARE ROOM.Copy !req
194. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.Copy !req
195. ROOM AS A DUNG ROOM.Copy !req
196. YES?Copy !req
197. DEAD INDIAN.Copy !req
198. WHAT?Copy !req
199. A NEW COOKER, SIR?Copy !req
200. AH, WELL, THIS IS YOUR
FREE DEAD INDIAN, AS ADVERTISED.Copy !req
201. I DIDN'T SEE THAT
IN THE ADVERTS.Copy !req
202. OH, NO, IT'S IN VERY SMALL
PRINT, YOU SEE, SIRCopy !req
203. SO AS NOT TO AFFECT THE SALES.Copy !req
204. WE'VE NO ROOM.Copy !req
205. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
206. YOU CAN PUTCopy !req
207. ON TOP OF THE DUNG.Copy !req
208. YEAH.Copy !req
209. ME HEAP DIZZY!Copy !req
210. HE'S NOT DEAD!Copy !req
211. OH, WELL, THAT'S PROBABLY
A FAULTY COOKER.Copy !req
212. THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT'S
WOMAN, THEN?Copy !req
213. NO.Copy !req
214. STILL, IT'S WORTH IT
FOR THE DUNG, ISN'T IT?Copy !req
215. DARLING, IT'S
THE MILK MARKETING BOARD.Copy !req
216. CREAM, WE GET THE M4 MOTORWAY.Copy !req
217. ARE YOU MR. AND MRS. P. FORBES
OF 7, THE STUDIOS, ELSTREE?Copy !req
218. YES.Copy !req
219. RIGHT, WELL,
GET IN THE CAR.Copy !req
220. WE'VE WON YOU
IN A POLICE RAFFLE.Copy !req
221. YES, THIS COUPLE WASCopy !req
222. IN THIS YEAR'S POLICE RAFFLE.Copy !req
223. A "WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN?"Copy !req
224. A SKINHEAD OF YOUR OWN CHOICE.Copy !req
225. AND THAT'S NOT ALL!Copy !req
226. COMPLETE WITH SILLY WALKER.Copy !req
227. FINALLY, ADD THE SLICED MEATCopy !req
228. AND VOILA... A MEAL FIT FOR A...Copy !req
229. PERSONALLY, I PREFER
MORE CLASSICAL DISHES.Copy !req
230. NIGEL, WONDERFUL
TO SEE YOU.Copy !req
231. SUPER, SUPER, SUPER.Copy !req
232. AM I A TEENY BIT LATE?Copy !req
233. WELL, A BIT...
AN HOUR.Copy !req
234. OH, SUPER.Copy !req
235. ONLY SNOWDON'S BEENCopy !req
236. AND WE CAN'T UPSET
THE LOVELY SNOWDON, CAN WE?Copy !req
237. DAVID BLOGGS,
THE ONE AND ONLY...Copy !req
238. SUPER TO SEE YOU.Copy !req
239. WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?Copy !req
240. COME AND WORK FOR ME.Copy !req
241. I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.Copy !req
242. THIS LITTLE CHAT WITH YOU.Copy !req
243. WELL, I...Copy !req
244. THIS LITTLE TALK ABOUT THINGS.Copy !req
245. THAT YOU WERE MARRIED.Copy !req
246. NOT QUITE, NO... MY WIFE'S
JUST DIED, ACTUALLY.Copy !req
247. OH, DEAR...Copy !req
248. BRIAN!Copy !req
249. AGAIN SOON.Copy !req
250. SEE YOU.Copy !req
251. BYE!Copy !req
252. TO HER ON THE SHOW.Copy !req
253. WELL, NO...Copy !req
254. I'LL GET PETER,
WILLIAM, ARTHURCopy !req
255. ALEX, JOAN, TED,
SCOTT, WILF, JOHNCopy !req
256. AND RAY
TO FIX IT UP.Copy !req
257. BUT IT'S SO NICE
HAVING THIS LITTLE CHAT.Copy !req
258. ACTUALLY, TIMMYCopy !req
259. I'M GLAD TO GET
YOU ON YOUR OWN.Copy !req
260. YOU DON'T MIND IF PETER
JUST SITS IN, DO YOU?Copy !req
261. WELL, ACTUALLY...Copy !req
262. HE'S DOING AN ARTICLE ON MECopy !req
263. FOR THE MAIL.Copy !req
264. HE'S SUCH
A LOVELY PERSON.Copy !req
265. PETER, THIS IS ONE OF THE
NICEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD...Copy !req
266. NIGEL WATT...
W-A-DOUBLE-T.Copy !req
267. THAT'S RIGHT, YES.Copy !req
268. ACTUALLY, TIMMY, THE THING
IS, IT'S A BIT PRIVATE.Copy !req
269. OH, YOU DON'T MINDCopy !req
270. SITS IN, DO YOU?Copy !req
271. PETER'S WRITING
A BOOK ON ME.Copy !req
272. PETER, YOU KNOW TONY
FROM THE MAIL, DON'T YOU?Copy !req
273. BATH YESTERDAY.Copy !req
274. SUPER, SUPER...Copy !req
275. YESTERDAY?Copy !req
276. GREAT, GREAT.Copy !req
277. REFERENCE, DIDN'T YOU?Copy !req
278. YES, I DID.Copy !req
279. SUPER, SUPER.Copy !req
280. AND WE'RE HAVING A
LITTLE HEART-TO-HEART...Copy !req
281. H-E-A-R-T.Copy !req
282. DO GO ON, NIGEL.Copy !req
283. WELL, THE THING IS, TIMMY, UM...Copy !req
284. DO CARRY ON...
IT'S THE TV TIMESCopy !req
285. PHOTOGRAPHS TO AMERICA.Copy !req
286. IF WE JUST...Copy !req
287. SUPER, SUPER.Copy !req
288. ONE OVER HERE,
I THINK, BOB.Copy !req
289. SMILE, PLEASE.Copy !req
290. SMASHING,
SMASHING.Copy !req
291. FEEL FREE, BOB, TO
CIRCULATE, WON'T YOU?Copy !req
292. DO GO ON... THIS IS
MOST INTERESTING.Copy !req
293. IS, TIMMYCopy !req
294. I'M A BIT
EMBARRASSED.Copy !req
295. OH, MR. WILLIAMSCopy !req
296. IT'S SO NICE
TO SEE YOU.Copy !req
297. DAUGHTER, PLEASE?Copy !req
298. HELLO,
MARIO.Copy !req
299. SUPER,
WONDERFUL.Copy !req
300. COFFEES, PLEASE.Copy !req
301. SORRY.Copy !req
302. TIMMY, CANCopy !req
303. MARIO COMES IN?Copy !req
304. WE'RE GETTING
BAD SOUND, OKAY?Copy !req
305. IT'S GERMAN
TELEVISION.Copy !req
306. ISN'T IT
EXCITING, NIGEL?Copy !req
307. THEY'RE DOING A PRIZEWINNING
DOCUMENTARY ON ME.Copy !req
308. THE WONDERFUL MR. WILLIAMS,
SCENE 239, TAKE 2.Copy !req
309. SPEED.Copy !req
310. ACTION!Copy !req
311. MARIO, HOW SUPER TO SEE YOU!Copy !req
312. HOW ARE THE LOVELY FAMILY?Copy !req
313. LITTLE DAUGHTER THIS.Copy !req
314. THANK YOU.Copy !req
315. COFFEES, PLEASE.Copy !req
316. YES, SIR.Copy !req
317. WAITER!Copy !req
318. NOW, GO ON,
PLEASE.Copy !req
319. INTERESTING.Copy !req
320. WELL, AS I WAS
SAYING, TIMMYCopy !req
321. MY WIFE'S GONE...Copy !req
322. GONE.Copy !req
323. I'VE GOT THREE CHILDREN,
AND I'M AT MY WITS' END.Copy !req
324. NO JOB, NO INSURANCE,
NO MONEY AT ALL.Copy !req
325. I'M ABSOLUTELY FLAT BROKE.Copy !req
326. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN.Copy !req
327. I'M ABSOLUTELY
AT THE END OF MY TETHER.Copy !req
328. YOU'RE MY ONLY CHANCE.Copy !req
329. CAN YOU HELP ME, PLEASE, TIMMY?Copy !req
330. SORRY, I WAS ON
THE PHONE TO AMERICA.Copy !req
331. IT'S BEEN SUPER HAVING
THIS LOVELY LITTLE CHAT.Copy !req
332. AGAIN MORE OFTEN.Copy !req
333. THE COFFEES?Copy !req
334. I'M AFRAID I MUST DASH.Copy !req
335. I'M AN HOUR LATE
FOR THE ISRAELI EMBASSY.Copy !req
336. ALL RIGHT, SOUND?Copy !req
337. YES, FINE.Copy !req
338. IT WASN'T A BIT
TOO WICKED, WAS IT?Copy !req
339. I MEAN, IT WASN'T
TOO CRUEL?Copy !req
340. NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
341. IT WAS GREAT.Copy !req
342. NO, SUPER...
WELL, I THINKCopy !req
343. IT SHOWS I'M HUMAN,
DON'T YOU?Copy !req
344. YEAH,
IT'S GREAT.Copy !req
345. WELL, THE
CHARABANC'S HERE.Copy !req
346. COME ON, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
347. BYE!Copy !req
348. FROM WOPPI'S IN HOLBORN.Copy !req
349. GOOD EVENING.Copy !req
350. ONE OF THE COUNTRY'SCopy !req
351. RAYMOND LUXURY YACHT.Copy !req
352. THAT'S NOT MY NAME.Copy !req
353. I'M SORRY,
RAYMOND LUXURY YACH-T.Copy !req
354. NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
355. IT'S SPELT
"RAYMOND LUXURY YACH-T"Copy !req
356. BUT IT'S PRONOUNCED
"THROATWOBBLER MANGROVE."Copy !req
357. YOU ARE A VERY SILLY MAN, AND
I'M NOT GOING TO INTERVIEW YOU.Copy !req
358. ANTI-SEMITISM.Copy !req
359. NOT AT ALL.Copy !req
360. IT'S NOT EVEN
A PROPER NOSE.Copy !req
361. IT'S POLYSTYRENE.Copy !req
362. GIVE ME MY NOSE BACK.Copy !req
363. AT RECEPTION... NOW, GO AWAY.Copy !req
364. I WANT TO BE ON TELEVISION.Copy !req
365. WELL, YOU CAN'T.Copy !req
366. PSST!Copy !req
367. ALL CLEAR.Copy !req
368. WHOO, WHEE!Copy !req
369. HI, THERE, BIG BOY.Copy !req
370. WHOO, WHEE!Copy !req
371. HEY, CUPIE!Copy !req
372. HELLO, TIGER.Copy !req
373. WHOO, WHEE!Copy !req
374. TIGER!Copy !req
375. TIGER!Copy !req
376. WHOO, WHEE!Copy !req
377. TIGER.Copy !req
378. HEY, TIGER...Copy !req
379. EXCUSE ME, I WANT
TO GET MARRIED.Copy !req
380. I'M AFRAID I'M
ALREADY MARRIED, SIR.Copy !req
381. NO, I JUST WANT
TO GET MARRIED.Copy !req
382. I COULD GET A DIVORCE, I SUPPOSECopy !req
383. A BIT OF A WRENCH.Copy !req
384. NO, NO, THAT WON'T BE
NECESSARY, BECAUSE...Copy !req
385. SEE, WOULD YOU COME TO MY PLACECopy !req
386. BECAUSE I'VE JUST
GOT A BIG MORTGAGE?Copy !req
387. NO, I WANT TO GET MARRIED HERE.Copy !req
388. OH, DEAR, I HAD MY HEART
SET ON A CHURCH WEDDING.Copy !req
389. LOOK, I JUST WANT YOU
TO MARRY ME TO...Copy !req
390. YOU, TOO, SIRCopy !req
391. BUT IT'S NOT AS
SIMPLE AS THAT.Copy !req
392. YOU'RE SURE YOU
WANT TO GET MARRIED.Copy !req
393. YES, I WANT TO GET
MARRIED VERY QUICKLY.Copy !req
394. SUITS ME, SIR,
SUITS ME.Copy !req
395. I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU.Copy !req
396. AS BREACH OF PROMISE, SIR.Copy !req
397. LOOK, I JUST WANT YOUCopy !req
398. AND MARRY ME.Copy !req
399. I WILL MARRY YOU, SIRCopy !req
400. YOUR MIND.Copy !req
401. PLEASE DON'T TRIFLE
WITH MY AFFECTIONS.Copy !req
402. I'M SORRY, BUT...Copy !req
403. THAT'S ALL RIGHT, SIR.Copy !req
404. I FORGIVE YOU... LOVERS' TIFF.Copy !req
405. YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST PERSON
TO ASK ME TODAY.Copy !req
406. I'VE TURNED DOWN
SEVERAL PEOPLE ALREADY.Copy !req
407. LOOK, I'M
ALREADY ENGAGED.Copy !req
408. YES, AND I'M
ALREADY MARRIED.Copy !req
409. STILL WE'LL
GET ROUND IT.Copy !req
410. GOOD MORNING, I
WANT TO GET MARRIED.Copy !req
411. I'M AFRAID I'MCopy !req
412. THIS GENTLEMAN, SIR.Copy !req
413. WELL, CAN I GET
MARRIED AFTER HIM?Copy !req
414. WELL, DIVORCE ISN'T
AS QUICK AS THAT, SIR.Copy !req
415. STILL, IF YOU'RE KEEN.Copy !req
416. MARRIED, PLEASE.Copy !req
417. HEAVENS, IT'S MY
LUCKY DAY, ISN'T IT?Copy !req
418. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
419. YOU'LL HAVE TO WAITCopy !req
420. TILL I'VE MARRIED
THESE TWO, SIR.Copy !req
421. WHAT, THOSE TWO,
GETTING MARRIED?Copy !req
422. NIGEL, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING MARRYING HIM?Copy !req
423. HE'S MARRYING ME, FIRST, SIR.Copy !req
424. HE'S ENGAGED
TO ME.Copy !req
425. COME ON,
HENRY.Copy !req
426. BLIMEY,
THE WIFE.Copy !req
427. WILL YOU MARRY ME?Copy !req
428. I'M ALREADY MARRIED.Copy !req
429. WELL, THINGS TURNED OUTCopy !req
430. BUT YOU MUSTN'TASK HOW,
BECAUSE IT'S NAUGHTY.Copy !req
431. THEY'RE ALL MARRIEDCopy !req
432. NEAR DULWICH.Copy !req
433. TO TELL YOU A STORY.Copy !req
434. BEYOND THE WUBBLES.Copy !req
435. ONE DAY, HE DISCOVERED
A SPOT ON HIS FACE.Copy !req
436. FOOLISHLY, HE IGNORED IT.Copy !req
437. HE DIED OF...Copy !req
438. GANGRENE.Copy !req
439. THE SPOT, HOWEVER, FLOURISHEDCopy !req
440. TO SEEK ITS FORTUNE.Copy !req
441. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.Copy !req
442. BLAH, BLAH, BLAHCopy !req
443. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.Copy !req
444. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAHCopy !req
445. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.Copy !req
446. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAHCopy !req
447. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.Copy !req
448. AGNES, DID YOU SEE WHO
JUST MOVED IN NEXT DOOR?Copy !req
449. YES, BLACK AS THE ACE OF SPADES.Copy !req
450. OOH, THERECopy !req
451. THEM AND THEIR SMELLY COOKING.Copy !req
452. AND THE NOISE.Copy !req
453. AND THEY BREED LIKE RABBITS.Copy !req
454. OH, YES.Copy !req
455. HELLO, AND WELCOME
TO ELECTION NIGHT SPECIAL.Copy !req
456. THERE'S GREAT EXCITEMENTCopy !req
457. ANY MOMENT NOW; WE DON'T
KNOW WHERE IT WILL BE FROM.Copy !req
458. OR FROM LUTON.Copy !req
459. THE POLLING'S BEEN
QUITE HEAVY IN BOTH AREAS.Copy !req
460. OH, WAIT A MOMENT...
I'M JUST GETTINGCopy !req
461. IN MY LEFT EAR.Copy !req
462. EXCUSE ME A MOMENT.Copy !req
463. ANYWAY, LET'S GO STRAIGHT OVERCopy !req
464. TO JAMES GILBERT AT LEICESTER.Copy !req
465. WELL, IT'S A STRAIGHT
FIGHT HERE AT LEICESTER.Copy !req
466. YOU CAN SEE ARTHUR SMITH,Copy !req
467. AND HIS AGENT,Copy !req
468. THE SILLY CANDIDATE,Copy !req
469. WITH HIS AGENT AND HIS WIFE.Copy !req
470. ARTHUR J. SMITH...Copy !req
471. SENSIBLE PARTY.Copy !req
472. 30,612.Copy !req
473. JETHRO Q. WALRUSTITTY.Copy !req
474. SILLY PARTY.Copy !req
475. 32,108.Copy !req
476. WELL, THERE'S THE FIRST RESULTCopy !req
477. HAVE HELD LEICESTER.Copy !req
478. OF THAT, NORMAN?Copy !req
479. WELL, THIS IS LARGELYCopy !req
480. EXCEPT THAT THE SILLY PARTY WON.Copy !req
481. BUT THEN, THIS IS MAINLY DUECopy !req
482. OF VOTES CAST... GERALD.Copy !req
483. WELL, THERE'S A SWING HERECopy !req
484. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.Copy !req
485. WELL, IF I MAY, I THINKCopy !req
486. AND OF COURSE, THE VERY LARGECopy !req
487. BECAUSE THE SCREW IS LOOSE.Copy !req
488. I'M AFRAID I CAN'T
THINK OF ANYTHING.Copy !req
489. I CAN'T ADD ANYTHING
TO THAT... COLIN?Copy !req
490. THE VERY FIRST TIME I'VE
EVER APPEARED ON TELEVISION?Copy !req
491. NO, WE HAVEN'T TIME
BECAUSE WE'RE GOINGCopy !req
492. STRAIGHT OVER TO LUTON.Copy !req
493. IT'S A THREE-CORNERED FIGHTCopy !req
494. BETWEEN ALAN JONES,
SENSIBLE PARTY, IN THE MIDDLECopy !req
495. BIM-LIN-BUS-STOP-FTANG-FTANG- OLE-BISCUITBARREL...Copy !req
496. SILLY PARTY...Copy !req
497. AND KEVIN PHILLIPS-BONG,
THE SLIGHTLY SILLY CANDIDATE.Copy !req
498. ALAN JONES...Copy !req
499. ON THE LEFT, SENSIBLE PARTY.Copy !req
500. 9,112.Copy !req
501. KEVIN PHILLIPS-BONG...Copy !req
502. ON THE RIGHT, SLIGHTLY SILLY.Copy !req
503. NAUGHT.Copy !req
504. BIM-LIN-BUS-STOP-FTANG-FTANG- OLE-BISCUITBARREL...Copy !req
505. SILLY.Copy !req
506. 12,441.Copy !req
507. HAS TAKEN LUTON.Copy !req
508. OF THE ELECTION... NORMAN.Copy !req
509. WELL, THIS IS A HIGHLY
SIGNIFICANT RESULT.Copy !req
510. LUTON, NORMALLY A VERYCopy !req
511. WHO AREN'T A BIT SILLYCopy !req
512. HAS GONE COMPLETELY GAGA.Copy !req
513. DO WE HAVE THE SWING AT LUTON?Copy !req
514. WELL, I'VE WORKED OUT THE SWING,
BUT IT'S A SECRET.Copy !req
515. ER... WELL, AH, THERE...Copy !req
516. THERE ISN'T THE SWING,
AND HOW ABOUT THE SWONG?Copy !req
517. WELL, I'VE GOT THE SWONG HERE IN
THIS BOX, AND IT'S LOOKING FINE.Copy !req
518. THAT IT'S EATING UP PEANUTS
AT A RATE OF KNOTS.Copy !req
519. AND HOW ABOUT THE SWANG?Copy !req
520. WELL, IT'S 29% UP OVER 600 FEETCopy !req
521. BUT IT'S A LITTLE BIT SOFT
AROUND THE EDGES ABOUT...Copy !req
522. AND PLASTIC MULE REST?Copy !req
523. THERE'S
NO SUCH THING.Copy !req
524. THANK YOU, SPIKE.Copy !req
525. HAS CHOKED ITSELF TO DEATH?Copy !req
526. WELL, THE ELECTION'S REALLY
BEGINNING TO HOT UP NOW.Copy !req
527. I CAN'T ADD ANYTHING TO THAT.Copy !req
528. I'VE EVER APPEARED
ON TELEVISION?Copy !req
529. I'M SORRY, SASHA, WE'RE JUST
ABOUT TO GET ANOTHER RESULT.Copy !req
530. HELLO, FROM HARPENDEN.Copy !req
531. THIS IS A KEY SEAT,Copy !req
532. WHO MA Y SPLIT THE SILLY VOTE.Copy !req
533. MR. ELSIE ZZZZZZZZZ...Copy !req
534. SILLY.Copy !req
535. 26,317...Copy !req
536. JAMES WALKER...Copy !req
537. SENSIBLE.Copy !req
538. 26,318.Copy !req
539. THAT WAS CLOSE.Copy !req
540. CHUF, CHUF, CHUFCopy !req
541. FRUITBAT GILBERT...Copy !req
542. WILLIAMS "IF I COULD
WALK THAT WAY" JENKINCopy !req
543. SMITH.Copy !req
544. VERY SILLY.Copy !req
545. TWO.Copy !req
546. WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT...Copy !req
547. HERE AT DRIFFIELD.Copy !req
548. NORMAN.Copy !req
549. WELL, I'VE JUST HEARDCopy !req
550. THAT MY AUNTIE'S ILL...Copy !req
551. POSSIBLY, POSSIBLY
GASTROENTERITIS... GERALD.Copy !req
552. WELL, IF THIS WERE REPEATEDCopy !req
553. IT'D PROBABLY BE
VERY MESSY... COLIN.Copy !req
554. THAT IT'S PROBABLY THE LAST TIMECopy !req
555. ON TELEVISION?Copy !req
556. NO, I'M AFRAID YOU CAN'T.Copy !req
557. WE HAVEN'T GOT TIME.Copy !req
558. BARROW-IN-FURNESS.Copy !req
559. THAT'S A GAIN FROM ANN HAYDON-
JONES AND HER HUSBAND PIP.Copy !req
560. ARTHUR NEGUS HAS HELD BRISTOLS.Copy !req
561. THAT'S NOT A RESULT,
THAT'S A BIT OF GOSSIP.Copy !req
562. AND ER... MARY WHITEHOUSE
HAS JUST TAKEN UMBRAGE.Copy !req
563. COULD BE A BIT OF TROUBLE THERE.Copy !req
564. IS NOT SWINGING AT ALL.Copy !req
565. NO SURPRISE THERE.Copy !req
566. HAS HELD THE CREDITS.Copy !req