1. AND NOW FOR SOMETHING
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.Copy !req
2. IT'S...Copy !req
3. MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.Copy !req
4. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
5. and A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]Copy !req
6. COME IN.Copy !req
7. TROUBLE AT MILL.Copy !req
8. OH, NO... WHAT
SORT OF TROUBLE?Copy !req
9. ONE ON'T CROSSBEAMS GONE
OWT ASKEW ON TREDDLE.Copy !req
10. PARDON?Copy !req
11. ONE ON'T CROSSBEAMS GONE OWT
ASKEW ON TREDDLE.Copy !req
12. I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.Copy !req
13. ONE OF THE CROSSBEAMS HAS GONE
OUT OF SKEW ON THE TREDDLE.Copy !req
14. BUT WHAT ON EARTH
DOES THAT MEAN?Copy !req
15. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
16. MR. WENTWORTH
JUST TOLD MECopy !req
17. TO COME IN HERE
AND SAYCopy !req
18. THERE WAS TROUBLE
AT THE MILL, THAT'S ALL.Copy !req
19. I DIDN'T EXPECT A KIND
OF SPANISH INQUISITION.Copy !req
20. NOBODY EXPECTS
THE SPANISH INQUISITION.Copy !req
21. OUR CHIEF WEAPON
IS SURPRISE.Copy !req
22. SURPRISE AND FEAR,
FEAR AND SURPRISE.Copy !req
23. OUR TWO WEAPONS ARE
FEAR AND SURPRISECopy !req
24. AND RUTHLESS EFFICIENCY.Copy !req
25. OUR THREE WEAPONS ARE FEAR AND
SURPRISE AND RUTHLESS EFFICIENCYCopy !req
26. AND AN ALMOST FANATICAL
DEVOTION TO THE POPE.Copy !req
27. OUR FOUR... NO...Copy !req
28. AMONGST OUR WEAPONS...Copy !req
29. AMONGST OUR
WEAPONRY ARECopy !req
30. SUCH ELEMENTS AS FEAR...Copy !req
31. I'LL COME IN AGAIN.Copy !req
32. I DIDN'T EXPECT A KIND
OF SPANISH INQUISITION.Copy !req
33. NOBODY EXPECTS
THE SPANISH INQUISITION!Copy !req
34. AMONGST OUR WEAPONRY ARE
SUCH DIVERSE ELEMENTS AS FEARCopy !req
35. SURPRISE, RUTHLESS EFFICIENCYCopy !req
36. AN ALMOST FANATICAL DEVOTION
TO THE POPECopy !req
37. AND NICE RED UNIFORM...
OH, DAMN!Copy !req
38. I... I CAN'T SAY IT.Copy !req
39. YOU'LL HAVE TO SAY IT.Copy !req
40. WHAT?Copy !req
41. YOU'LL HAVE
TO SAY THE BITCopy !req
42. ABOUT "OUR CHIEF
WEAPONS ARE..."Copy !req
43. I COULDN'T
DO THAT.Copy !req
44. I DIDN'T EXPECT A KIND
OF SPANISH INQUISITION.Copy !req
45. UH... UH...
NOBODY... UM...Copy !req
46. EXPECTS.Copy !req
47. EXPECTS.Copy !req
48. NOBODY EXPECTS
THE, UM... SPANISH...Copy !req
49. INQUISITION.Copy !req
50. I KNOW, I KNOW.Copy !req
51. NOBODY EXPECTS
THE SPANISH INQUISITION.Copy !req
52. IN FACT, THOSE
WHO DO EXPECT...Copy !req
53. OUR CHIEF WEAPONS ARE...Copy !req
54. OUR CHIEF WEAPONS
ARE... UM...Copy !req
55. SURPRISE.Copy !req
56. SURPRISE.Copy !req
57. GOOD, STOP, STOP...Copy !req
58. STOP THERE.Copy !req
59. WHEW!Copy !req
60. OUR CHIEF WEAPON
IS SURPRISE.Copy !req
61. BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.Copy !req
62. CARDINAL, READ
THE CHARGES.Copy !req
63. YOU ARE
HEREBY CHARGEDCopy !req
64. THAT YOU DID
ON DIVERSE DATESCopy !req
65. COMMIT HERESY AGAINST
THE HOLY CHURCH.Copy !req
66. MY OLD MAN
SAID...Copy !req
67. THAT'S ENOUGH.Copy !req
68. NOW... HOW
DO YOU PLEAD?Copy !req
69. WE'RE INNOCENT.Copy !req
70. HA!Copy !req
71. WE'LL SOON CHANGE
YOUR MIND ABOUT THAT!Copy !req
72. FEAR, SURPRISE AND
A MOST RUTHLESS...Copy !req
73. OOH!Copy !req
74. NOW... CARDINAL...Copy !req
75. THE RACK!Copy !req
76. YOU...Copy !req
77. RIGHT.Copy !req
78. TIE HER DOWN.Copy !req
79. RIGHT.Copy !req
80. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?Copy !req
81. INNOCENT.Copy !req
82. HA!Copy !req
83. RIGHT!Copy !req
84. CARDINAL...Copy !req
85. GIVE THE RACK...Copy !req
86. OH, DEAR.Copy !req
87. GIVE THE RACK...
A TURN.Copy !req
88. I...Copy !req
89. I KNOW... I KNOW
YOU CAN'T.Copy !req
90. I DIDN'T WANT
TO SAY ANYTHING.Copy !req
91. I JUST WANTED
TO TRY AND IGNORECopy !req
92. YOUR CRASS
MISTAKE.Copy !req
93. MAKES IT ALL
SEEM SO STUPID.Copy !req
94. SHALL I...Copy !req
95. OH, GOD, JUST PRETEND,
FOR GOD'S SAKE!Copy !req
96. AH, HELLO, YOU
DON'T KNOW MECopy !req
97. BUT I'M FROM THE B.B.C.Copy !req
98. WE WERE WONDERINGCopy !req
99. IF YOU'D COME
AND ANSWER THE DOORCopy !req
100. IN A SKETCH OVER THERECopy !req
101. IN THAT SORT
OF DIRECTION.Copy !req
102. YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
TO DO ANYTHING...Copy !req
103. JUST OPEN THE DOOR
AND THAT'S IT.Copy !req
104. OH, WELL,
ALL RIGHT, YES.Copy !req
105. JOLLY GOOD,
COME THIS WAY.Copy !req
106. FINE.Copy !req
107. YES, WE'RE ON FILMCopy !req
108. AT THE MOMENT,
YOU SEE?Copy !req
109. IT'S A LINK, IS IT?Copy !req
110. YES, THAT'S RIGHT,
THAT SORT OF THING.Copy !req
111. YES, A LINK.Copy !req
112. IT'S ALL A BIT
ZANY, YOU KNOWCopy !req
113. A BIT MADCAP FUNSTER.Copy !req
114. FRANKLY, I DON'T FULLY
UNDERSTAND IT MYSELF.Copy !req
115. THE KIDS SEEM TO LIKE IT.Copy !req
116. I MUCH PREFER
DES O'CONNOR, OF COURSECopy !req
117. ROLF HARRIS,
TOM JONES, YOU KNOW.Copy !req
118. YOU DO A LOT OF THIS
SORT OF THING, DO YOU?Copy !req
119. QUITE A LOT, YES,
QUITE A LOT.Copy !req
120. I'M MAINLY IN COMEDY.Copy !req
121. I'D LIKE TO BE IN PROGRAM
PLANNING, ACTUALLY, BUT...Copy !req
122. UNFORTUNATELY,
I'VE GOT A DEGREE.Copy !req
123. JOKE, SIR?Copy !req
124. GUARANTEED AMUSING.Copy !req
125. AS USED BY THE CROWNED
HEADS OF EUROPE.Copy !req
126. HAS BROUGHT TEARS
TO THE EYES OF ROYALTY.Copy !req
127. "DENMARK HAS NEVER
LAUGHED SO MUCH"Copy !req
128. "THE STAGE."Copy !req
129. NICE LITTLE NOVELTY NUMBER,
A "NAUGHTY HUMPHREY."Copy !req
130. BREAKS THE ICE AT PARTIES.Copy !req
131. PUT IT ON THE TABLE, PRESS
THE BUTTON... IT VOMITS.Copy !req
132. ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED,
WITH REFILLS.Copy !req
133. "BLACK SOAP."Copy !req
134. LEAVE IT IN THE BATHROOMCopy !req
135. THEY WASH THEIR HANDS, REAL
FUNGUS GROWS ON THE FINGERS.Copy !req
136. CAN'T GET IT OFF
FOR HOURS.Copy !req
137. GUARANTEED TO BREAK
THE ICE AT PARTIES.Copy !req
138. FRIGHTEN THE ELDERLY...
REAL SNAKES.Copy !req
139. COMEDY HERNIA KIT.Copy !req
140. PLASTIC FLESH WOUNDS.Copy !req
141. JUST KEEP YOUR FRIENDS
IN STITCHES.Copy !req
142. GUARANTEED TO BREAK
THE ICE AT PARTIES.Copy !req
143. HOURS OF FUN WITH
"HONEYMOON DELIGHT."Copy !req
144. EMPTY INTO THEIR BEDS
REAL SKUNK JUICE.Copy !req
145. THEY WON'T FORGET
THEIR WEDDING NIGHT.Copy !req
146. STICKS TO THE SKIN.Copy !req
147. ABSOLUTELY WATERPROOF.Copy !req
148. GUARANTEED TO BREAK
THE ICE AT PARTIES.Copy !req
149. AMUSE YOUR FRIENDS.Copy !req
150. C.S. GAS CANISTERS...
SMELLS, TASTES AND ACTSCopy !req
151. JUST LIKE THE REAL THING;
CAN BLIND, MAIM OR KILL.Copy !req
152. OR FOR DRINKS, WHY NOT
BUY A "WICKED WILLY"Copy !req
153. WITH A LIFE-SIZE WINKLE?Copy !req
154. SERVES WARM BEER.Copy !req
155. MAKES REAL COCKTAILS.Copy !req
156. HOURS OF AMUSEMENT.Copy !req
157. OR GET THE NEW
POOH-POOH MACHINE.Copy !req
158. EMBARRASS YOUR GUESTS...Copy !req
159. COMPLETELY
AUTHENTIC SOUND.Copy !req
160. OR WHY NOT TRY A NEW
"NAUGHTY NIGHTIE"?Copy !req
161. PUT IT ON AND IT MELTS.Copy !req
162. JUST WATCH THEIR FACES.Copy !req
163. GUARANTEED TO BREAK THE ICE
AT NAUGHTY PARTIES.Copy !req
164. GO ON, GO ON.Copy !req
165. WHAT?Copy !req
166. DO THE PUNCH LINE.Copy !req
167. WHAT PUNCH LINE?Copy !req
168. THE PUNCH LINE
FOR THIS BIT.Copy !req
169. I DON'T KNOW IT.Copy !req
170. THEY DIDN'T
SAY ANYTHINGCopy !req
171. ABOUT A PUNCH LINE.Copy !req
172. OH!Copy !req
173. OH, WELL, IN THAT CASECopy !req
174. I'LL BE SAYING
GOOD-BYE THEN, SIR.Copy !req
175. GOOD-BYE THEN, SIR.Copy !req
176. WHAT'S THE PUNCH LINE?Copy !req
177. PUNCH LINE?Copy !req
178. I DON'T THINK THERE'S
A PUNCH LINE SCHEDULEDCopy !req
179. IS THERE?Copy !req
180. WHERE ARE WE?Copy !req
181. UH... WEEK 39.4...Copy !req
182. NO, IT'S FRIDAY,
ISN'T IT?Copy !req
183. 39.7...Copy !req
184. UH... HERE WE ARE.Copy !req
185. OH!Copy !req
186. VERY GOOD.Copy !req
187. VERY GOOD.Copy !req
188. WHAT A GOOD
PUNCH LINE.Copy !req
189. PITY WE MISSED THAT.Copy !req
190. STILL, NEVER MIND.Copy !req
191. WE CAN ALWAYS
DO IT AGAIN.Copy !req
192. MAKE A SERIES
OUT OF IT.Copy !req
193. NOW, IF YOU WOULD
JUST SIGN THERECopy !req
194. I'LL PUT THIS THROUGHCopy !req
195. TO OUR CONTRACTS
DEPARTMENTCopy !req
196. AND YOU SHOULD BE
HEARING FROM THEMCopy !req
197. IN A YEAR OR TWO.Copy !req
198. CAN YOU GIVE ME
A LIFT BACK?Copy !req
199. AH, CAN DO... BUT WON'T.Copy !req
200. WE WERE WONDERINGCopy !req
201. IF WE COULD POSSIBLY
BORROW YOUR HEADCopy !req
202. FOR A PIECE
OF ANIMATION.Copy !req
203. WHAT?Copy !req
204. OH, JOLLY GOOD.Copy !req
205. THANKS VERY, VERY MUCH.Copy !req
206. YOU WILL GET EXPENSES.Copy !req
207. SERGEANT, SOMEHOWCopy !req
208. WE'VE GOT TO GET
IN THERE AND GET IT.Copy !req
209. I KNOW, SIR, BUT
IT'S GOING TO BE DIFFICULT.Copy !req
210. YOU'LL NEED SOME
SORT OF DIVERSION.Copy !req
211. YES, SIR, BUT WHAT?Copy !req
212. WELL, WE COULD...Copy !req
213. NO, NO, IT'S
GOT TO BE...Copy !req
214. NO, NOT RIGHT!Copy !req
215. WAIT!Copy !req
216. I'VE GOT IT!Copy !req
217. WELL DONE,
SOLDIER.Copy !req
218. LOAD AND FIRE.Copy !req
219. YES, SIR.Copy !req
220. FIRE!Copy !req
221. READY, AIM, FIRE!Copy !req
222. WE ARE NOT AMUSED.Copy !req
223. HM...Copy !req
224. HMM...Copy !req
225. HMMM...Copy !req
226. GENTLEMEN...Copy !req
227. OUR M.P. SAW THE P.M. THIS A.M.Copy !req
228. AND THE P.M. WANTS MORE L.S.D.
FROM THE P.I.B.Copy !req
229. BY TOMORROW A.M. OR P.M.
AT THE LATEST.Copy !req
230. I TOLD THE P.M.'S P.P.S.
THAT A.M. WAS N.B.G.Copy !req
231. SO TOMORROW P.M. IT IS
FOR THE P.M. NEM. CON.Copy !req
232. GIVE US A FAG
OR I'LL GO SPARE.Copy !req
233. NOW...Copy !req
234. THE FISCAL DEFICIT WITH REGARD
TO THE MONETARY BALANCECopy !req
235. THE CURRENT FINANCIAL YEAR,
EXCLUDING INVISIBLE EXPORTSCopy !req
236. BUT ADJUSTED OF COURSE
FOR SEASONAL VARIATIONSCopy !req
237. AND THE INCREMENTAL STATISTICSCopy !req
238. OF THE FISCAL AND
REVENUE ARRANGEMENTSCopy !req
239. FOR THE FORTHCOMING
ANNUAL BUDGETARY PERIODCopy !req
240. TERMINATING IN APRIL.Copy !req
241. I THINK HE'S TALKING
ABOUT TAXATION.Copy !req
242. BRAVO, MADGE.Copy !req
243. WELL DONE.Copy !req
244. TAXATION IS INDEED
THE VERY NUB OF MY GIST.Copy !req
245. GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE TO FIND
SOMETHING NEW TO TAX.Copy !req
246. I UNDERSTOOD THAT.Copy !req
247. IF I MIGHT PUT MY HEAD
ON THE CHOPPING BLOCKCopy !req
248. SO YOU CAN KICK IT
AROUND A BIT, SIR...Copy !req
249. MM-HMM.Copy !req
250. WELL, MOST
THINGS WE DOCopy !req
251. FOR PLEASURE
NOWADAYS ARE TAXEDCopy !req
252. EXCEPT... ONE.Copy !req
253. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?Copy !req
254. WELL, SMOKING'S
BEEN TAXEDCopy !req
255. DRINKING'S
BEEN TAXED...Copy !req
256. BUT NOT... UH...Copy !req
257. THINGY.Copy !req
258. GOOD LORD.Copy !req
259. YOU'RE NOT SUGGESTING
WE SHOULD TAX...Copy !req
260. THINGY.Copy !req
261. POO POOS?Copy !req
262. NO!Copy !req
263. THANK GOD FOR THAT.Copy !req
264. EXCUSE ME
FOR A MOMENT.Copy !req
265. NO, NO, NO,
THINGY!Copy !req
266. NUMBER ONES?Copy !req
267. NO... THINGY!Copy !req
268. THINGY!Copy !req
269. OH!Copy !req
270. THINGY!Copy !req
271. WELL, IT'D CERTAINLY MAKE
CHARTERED ACCOUNTANCYCopy !req
272. A MUCH MORE INTERESTING JOB.Copy !req
273. I WOULD PUT A TAX...Copy !req
274. ON ALL PEOPLE...Copy !req
275. WHO STAND IN WATER.Copy !req
276. OH!Copy !req
277. TO BOOST THE BRITISH ECONOMYCopy !req
278. I'D TAX ALL FOREIGNERS
LIVING ABROAD.Copy !req
279. I WOULD TAX THE NUDE IN MY BED.Copy !req
280. NO, NOT TAX...Copy !req
281. WHAT IS THE WORD?Copy !req
282. WELCOME.Copy !req
283. I WOULD TAX RAQUEL WELCHCopy !req
284. AND I'VE A FEELING SHE'D TAX ME.Copy !req
285. I WOULD BRING BACK HANGING
AND GO INTO ROPE.Copy !req
286. I WOULD CUT OFF THE MORE
DISREPUTABLE PARTS OF THE BODYCopy !req
287. AND USE THE SPACE
FOR PLAYING FIELDS.Copy !req
288. I WOULD TAX HOLIDAY SNAPS.Copy !req
289. THIS IS UNCLE TED
IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE.Copy !req
290. THIS IS UNCLE TEDCopy !req
291. AT THE BACK
OF THE HOUSE.Copy !req
292. THIS IS UNCLE TEDCopy !req
293. AT THE SIDE
OF THE HOUSE.Copy !req
294. THIS IS UNCLE TED
BACK AGAINCopy !req
295. AT THE FRONT
OF THE HOUSECopy !req
296. BUT YOU CAN SEE
THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE.Copy !req
297. AND THIS IS UNCLE TEDCopy !req
298. EVEN NEARER
THE SIDE OF THE HOUSECopy !req
299. BUT YOU CAN
STILL SEE THE FRONT.Copy !req
300. THIS IS THE BACK
OF THE HOUSECopy !req
301. WITH UNCLE TED
COMING ROUND THE SIDECopy !req
302. TO THE FRONT.Copy !req
303. AND THIS IS THE
SPANISH INQUISITIONCopy !req
304. HIDING BEHIND
THE COAL SHED.Copy !req
305. OH, I DIDN'T EXPECT
THE SPANISH INQUISITION.Copy !req
306. NOBODY EXPECTS
THE SPANISH INQUISITION!Copy !req
307. HA!Copy !req
308. NOW, OLD WOMAN,
YOU ARE ACCUSEDCopy !req
309. OF HERESYCopy !req
310. HERESY BY THOUGHT,
HERESY BY WORDCopy !req
311. HERESY BY DEED
AND HERESY BY ACTION.Copy !req
312. FOUR COUNTS.Copy !req
313. DO YOU CONFESS?Copy !req
314. I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M ACCUSED OF.Copy !req
315. HA!Copy !req
316. HA! HA!Copy !req
317. THEN WE SHALL MAKE
YOU UNDERSTAND!Copy !req
318. BIGGLES...Copy !req
319. FETCH THE CUSHIONS!Copy !req
320. HERE THEY
ARE, LORD.Copy !req
321. NOW, OLD LADY, YOU
HAVE ONE LAST CHANCE.Copy !req
322. CONFESS TO THE
HEINOUS SIN OF HERESYCopy !req
323. REJECT
THE WORKS OF THE...Copy !req
324. TWO LAST CHANCES...
AND YOU SHALL BE FREE.Copy !req
325. THREE LAST CHANCES... YOU
HAVE THREE LAST CHANCES...Copy !req
326. THE NATURE OF WHICH
I HAVE DIVULGEDCopy !req
327. IN MY PREVIOUS
UTTERANCE.Copy !req
328. I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.Copy !req
329. RIGHT!Copy !req
330. IF THAT'S
THE WAY YOU WANT IT!Copy !req
331. CARDINAL...Copy !req
332. POKE HER WITH THE SOFT CUSHIONS!Copy !req
333. CONFESS!Copy !req
334. CONFESS!Copy !req
335. CONFESS!Copy !req
336. IT DOESN'T SEEM TO
BE HURTING HER, MY LORD.Copy !req
337. HAVE YOU GOT ALL THE
STUFFING UP ONE END?Copy !req
338. YES, LORD.Copy !req
339. HMM, SHE IS MADE
OF HARDER STUFF.Copy !req
340. CARDINAL FANG...Copy !req
341. FETCH...Copy !req
342. THE COMFY CHAIR.Copy !req
343. THE COMFY CHAIR?Copy !req
344. YES.Copy !req
345. SO, YOU THINK
YOU ARE STRONGCopy !req
346. BECAUSE YOU
CAN SURVIVE
THE SOFT CUSHIONS!Copy !req
347. WELL, WE SHALL SEE!Copy !req
348. BIGGLES, PUT HER
IN THE COMFY CHAIR!Copy !req
349. NOW...Copy !req
350. YOU WILL STAY IN THE COMFY
CHAIR UNTIL LUNCH TIMECopy !req
351. WITH ONLY A CUP
OF COFFEE AT 11:00.Copy !req
352. IS THAT REALLY
ALL IT IS?Copy !req
353. YES, LORD.Copy !req
354. I SEE.Copy !req
355. I SUPPOSE
WE MAKE IT WORSECopy !req
356. BY SHOUTING
A LOT, DO WE?Copy !req
357. CONFESS, WOMAN.Copy !req
358. CONFESS!Copy !req
359. CONFESS!Copy !req
360. CONFESS! CONFESS!Copy !req
361. I CONFESS!Copy !req
362. NOT YOU!Copy !req
363. I CONFESS.Copy !req
364. WHO WAS THAT?Copy !req
365. I CONFESS.Copy !req
366. I CONFESS.Copy !req
367. I CONFESS.Copy !req
368. I CONFESS.Copy !req
369. I CONFESS.Copy !req
370. I CONFESS.Copy !req
371. I CONFESS.Copy !req
372. WELL, MADAM, I'M GLAD
YOU'VE COME TO SEE ME.Copy !req
373. AS A DOCTOR, I SHALL
BE TRYING TO HELP YOUCopy !req
374. AND DO EVERYTHING I CANCopy !req
375. TO ASSIST YOU
IN ANY WAY I CAN.Copy !req
376. OF COURSE, ANY...Copy !req
377. VERY HIGH STATE...Copy !req
378. COULD YOU
REPEAT THAT?Copy !req
379. I'M A BIT DEAF.Copy !req
380. NOW, THE B.M.A.Copy !req
381. THE BRITISH
MEDICAL ASSOCIATION...Copy !req
382. LOUDER, PLEASE,
I STILL CAN'T HEAR!Copy !req
383. I CONFESS!Copy !req
384. SPEAK UP,
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!Copy !req
385. NOW, FOR THE
VERY FIRST TIME ON THE SILVER SCREENCopy !req
386. COMES THE FILM FROM TWO BOOKS
THAT ONCE SHOCKED A GENERATION.Copy !req
387. FROM EMILY BRONTE'S
WUTHERING HEIGHTSCopy !req
388. AND FROM THE INTERNATIONAL GUIDE
TO SEMAPHORE CODECopy !req
389. 20th CENTURY VOLE PRESENTSCopy !req
390. THE SEMAPHORE VERSION
OF WUTHERING HEIGHTS.Copy !req
391. FROM
THE PULSATING PAGES OF HISTORYCopy !req
392. FROM THE DARK AND FURIOUS DAYS
OF IMPERIAL ROMECopy !req
393. WE BRING YOU A STORY
THAT SHATTERED THE WORLDCopy !req
394. A TALE SO GRIPPING THAT THEY
SAID IT COULD NOT BE FILMEDCopy !req
395. A UNIQUE EVENTCopy !req
396. JULIUS CAESAR ON AN ALDIS LAMP.Copy !req
397. FROM THE MAKERS OF GUNFIGHT
AT O.K. CORRAL IN MORSE CODE...Copy !req
398. AND THE SMOKE-SIGNAL VERSION
OF GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES.Copy !req
399. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
OF THE JURYCopy !req
400. HAVE YOU REACHED
A VERDICT?Copy !req
401. WE HAVE, MY LORD.Copy !req
402. AND HOW DO YOU FIND
THE DEFENDANT?Copy !req
403. TWO WORDS?Copy !req
404. FIRST WORD.Copy !req
405. ROPE, STRING...Copy !req
406. POINT.Copy !req
407. BELT.Copy !req
408. TIE.Copy !req
409. CRAVAT.Copy !req
410. SILK SQUARE.Copy !req
411. KNOT.Copy !req
412. SECOND WORD.Copy !req
413. TWO SYLLABLES.Copy !req
414. FIRST SYLLABLE.Copy !req
415. BIRD?Copy !req
416. SWIMMER.Copy !req
417. BREASTSTROKE.Copy !req
418. BRIAN PHELPS.Copy !req
419. NO, NO, NO,
HE WAS A DIVER!Copy !req
420. ESTHER WILLIAMS, THEN.Copy !req
421. NO, NO,
DON'T BE SILLY!Copy !req
422. HOW CAN YOU FIND SOMEONE
"NOT ESTHER WILLIAMS"?Copy !req
423. FISH!Copy !req
424. FISH...Copy !req
425. WHEEZE...Copy !req
426. FISH WHEEZE...Copy !req
427. FISH BREATHE.Copy !req
428. FISH BREATHE THROAT.Copy !req
429. FISH BREATHE THROAT... GILL!Copy !req
430. KNOT GILL...Copy !req
431. SECOND SYLLABLE.Copy !req
432. KNOT GILL...Copy !req
433. DRINK.Copy !req
434. SIP...Copy !req
435. IMBIBE.Copy !req
436. KNOT GILL...Copy !req
437. CUP!Copy !req
438. KNOT GILLCUP!Copy !req
439. YOU'VE BEEN FOUND
KNOT GILLCUPCopy !req
440. OF THE CHARGES
BROUGHT AGAINST YOUCopy !req
441. AND YOU MAY LEAVE
THIS COURT A FREE MAN.Copy !req
442. RIGHT, MY TURN.Copy !req
443. FOUR WORDS.Copy !req
444. FIRST WORD, SHOUT!Copy !req
445. BELLOW!Copy !req
446. CALL.Copy !req
447. SECOND WORD...Copy !req
448. IS VERY SMALL.Copy !req
449. UM, "A."Copy !req
450. AN?Copy !req
451. UP.Copy !req
452. THE.Copy !req
453. CALL THE.Copy !req
454. THIRD WORD.Copy !req
455. GILL?Copy !req
456. FISH!Copy !req
457. ADAM'S APPLE!Copy !req
458. NECK!Copy !req
459. SOUNDS LIKE NECK!Copy !req
460. NEXT!Copy !req
461. CALL THE NEXT!Copy !req
462. FOURTH WORD,
THREE SYLLABLES.Copy !req
463. FIRST SYLLABLE.Copy !req
464. EAR.Copy !req
465. HEAR, CAN'T HEAR.Copy !req
466. DEAF.Copy !req
467. DEAF!Copy !req
468. CALL THE NEXT DEAF.Copy !req
469. BOTTOM?Copy !req
470. SEAT.Copy !req
471. TROUSER.Copy !req
472. CHEEK.Copy !req
473. END! CALL THE NEXT DEAF-END.Copy !req
474. ANT!Copy !req
475. CALL THE NEXT
DEFENDANT!Copy !req
476. CALL THE NEXT DEFENDANTCopy !req
477. THE HONORABLE
MR. JUSTICE KILBRAKEN.Copy !req
478. IF I MAY CHARGE YOU,
MY LORDCopy !req
479. YOU ARE CHARGED, MY LORDCopy !req
480. THAT ON THE 14th DAY
OF JUNE, 1970Copy !req
481. AT THE CENTRAL
CRIMINAL COURTCopy !req
482. YOU DID COMMIT ACTSCopy !req
483. LIKELY TO CAUSE
A BREACH OF THE PEACE.Copy !req
484. HOW PLEAD YOU, MY LORD,
GUILTY OR NOT GUILTY?Copy !req
485. NOT GUILTY.Copy !req
486. CASE NOT PROVEN,
COURT ADJOURNED.Copy !req
487. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!Copy !req
488. NO, NO, NO!Copy !req
489. NO, YOU'RE IN THE DOCK, MY LORD.Copy !req
490. I AM A JUDGE, MY LORD.Copy !req
491. SO AM I, MY LORD, SO WATCH IT.Copy !req
492. CALL THIS A COURT!Copy !req
493. CALL THIS
A COURT!Copy !req
494. CALL THIS A COURT!Copy !req
495. CALL THIS
A COURT!Copy !req
496. SHUT UP!Copy !req
497. RIGHT, NOW GET ON
WITH THE SPIEL.Copy !req
498. MY LORD,
AND MY OTHER LORDCopy !req
499. THE PROSECUTION WILL ENDEAVOR
TO SHOW, MY LORD, THAT MY LORD...Copy !req
500. NOT YOU, MY LORD,
THAT MY LORD, MY LORD...Copy !req
501. WHILE PASSING SENTENCE
AT THE CENTRAL CRIMINAL COURTCopy !req
502. BLOTTED HIS COPY BOOK.Copy !req
503. CALL EXHIBIT "Q."Copy !req
504. "Q"?Copy !req
505. SORRY, DID I SAY "Q"?Copy !req
506. I MEANT "A."Copy !req
507. CALL EXHIBIT "A."Copy !req
508. CALL
EXHIBIT "A"!Copy !req
509. EXHIBIT "A," MY LORD,
MISS RITA THANGCopy !req
510. AN ARTIST'S MODEL,
SWEDISH ACCORDION TEACHERCopy !req
511. AND CANE CHAIR
SALESLADYCopy !req
512. WAS FOUND GUILTY UNDER
THE RUDE BEHAVIOR ACTCopy !req
513. IN THE ACCUSED'S COURT.Copy !req
514. THE ACCUSED, MY LORD,
SENTENCED HERCopy !req
515. "TO BE TAKEN
FROM THIS PLACECopy !req
516. AND BROUGHT ROUND
TO HIS PLACE."Copy !req
517. OBJECTION, MY LORD!Copy !req
518. OBJECTION SUSTAINED.Copy !req
519. YOU SHUT UP!
OBJECTION OVERRULED.Copy !req
520. THE ACCUSED
THEN COMMENTEDCopy !req
521. ON MISS THANG'S
BODILY STRUCTURECopy !req
522. MADE SEVERAL
NOT-AT-ALL LEGAL REMARKSCopy !req
523. ON THE SUBJECT OF FUNCopy !req
524. AND THEN PLACED
HIS ROBES OVER HIS HEADCopy !req
525. AND BEGAN
TO EMIT LOW MOANS.Copy !req
526. HAVE YOU ANYTHING TO SAY
IN YOUR DEFENSE?Copy !req
527. WELL, I HAVEN'T
HAD ANY FOR WEEKS.Copy !req
528. OH, NO? WHAT ABOUT
THAT LITTLE NUMBERCopy !req
529. YOU'VE GOT TUCKED AWAY
IN BELSIZE PARK?Copy !req
530. OH, I NEVER!Copy !req
531. OH, NO!Copy !req
532. ALL RIGHT, THEN,
WHAT ABOUT 8-A WOODFORD SQUARE?Copy !req
533. YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THAT
AND I'LL DO YOU FOR TREASON.Copy !req
534. UH, MY LORD,
IF WE COULD CONTINUE.Copy !req
535. HE'S GOT
A CHINESE BIT THERE.Copy !req
536. NO, THAT'S CONTEMPT OF COURT!Copy !req
537. OH, IT'S
ONLY A JOKE!Copy !req
538. CONTEMPT
OF COURT!Copy !req
539. HOWEVER, I'M NOT
GOING TO PUNISH YOUCopy !req
540. BECAUSE WE'RE SO SHORT
OF JUDGES AT THE MOMENTCopy !req
541. WHAT WITH ALL OF THEM
EMIGRATING TO SOUTH AFRICA.Copy !req
542. I'M GOING TOMORROW,
I'VE GOT MY TICKET.Copy !req
543. GET OUT THERE AND GET
SOME DECENT SENTENCING DONE.Copy !req
544. OH, ENGLAND MAKES YOU SICK.Copy !req
545. BEST I CAN MANAGE HERE
IS LIFE IMPRISONMENT.Copy !req
546. HARDLY WORTH COMING IN
IN THE MORNING.Copy !req
547. NOW, SOUTH AFRICACopy !req
548. YOU'VE GOT YOUR CAT-O-NINE TAILSCopy !req
549. YOU'VE GOT FOUR
DEATH SENTENCES A WEEKCopy !req
550. YOU'VE GOT CHEAP DRINKS,
SLAVE LABORCopy !req
551. AND A BOOMING STOCK MARKET.Copy !req
552. I'M OFF, I TELL YOU.Copy !req
553. YES, I'M UP TO HERE
WITH PROBATIONCopy !req
554. AND BLEEDING
PSYCHIATRIC REPORTS.Copy !req
555. THAT'S IT, I'M OFF.Copy !req
556. THAT'S IT.Copy !req
557. RIGHT, WELL, I'M GOING TO HAVE
ONE FINAL FLING BEFORE I LEAVECopy !req
558. SO I SENTENCE YOU
TO BE BURNT AT THE STAKE.Copy !req
559. BLIMEY, I DIDN'T EXPECT
THE SPANISH INQUISITION.Copy !req
560. TWO... UH, THREE TO
THE OLD BAILEY, PLEASE.Copy !req
561. LOOK, THEY'VE STARTED
THE CREDITS!Copy !req
562. HURRY, HURRY, HURRY!Copy !req
563. COME ON, HURRY!Copy !req
564. THERE'S
THE LIGHTING CREDIT!Copy !req
565. ONLY FIVE LEFT!Copy !req
566. HELL, IT'S
THE PRODUCER, QUICK!Copy !req
567. NOBODY EXPECTS THE...Copy !req
568. OH, BUGGER!Copy !req