1. Lazy Saturday.
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2. - Where's the remote?
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3. - Face fishing!
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4. - No.
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5. - "no signal."
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6. Oh, is that a cop show?
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7. - It can't be.
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8. - More no signal.
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9. Man, this show is on,
like, every channel.
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10. - B.O.B., I think—
I think the cable's out.
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11. We have no tv.
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12. No tv, b.O.B.!
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13. - Hmm.
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14. - This is an epic
boredom crisis.
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15. The very survival
of lazy Saturday
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16. Is at stake.
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17. What do we do?
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18. - We find something fun, pronto!
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19. - This is gonna be awesome!
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20. - Yeah, try not to talk.
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21. Throws off the aim a little bit.
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22. - I'll try, but, you know,
you know my mouth.
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23. I mean, sometimes
it just does stuff
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24. And I don't even realize it.
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25. Oh, there it goes again!
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26. Bad mouth!
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27. - This activity
has a 97.44% chance
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28. Of catastrophic damage.
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29. - 100% chance of don't care.
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30. - I merely wish
to record the results
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31. For my earth studies report.
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32. I have a section
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33. On your planet's
substandard intelligence.
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34. - Whoa, kid.
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35. There's nothing sub
about earth intelligence.
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36. - My mouth got free again!
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37. - The cable's out.
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38. You take away a man's tv,
stuff's gonna happen.
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39. - Fascinating.
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40. And what would happen
if he had television back?
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41. - You have tv?
- Gimme.
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42. - Gimme!
- So bored!
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43. - Please gimme!
- Alien satellite television.
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44. It is not the premium package,
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45. So I only receive
65 trillion channels.
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46. - 65...
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47. - Would you like to borrow it?
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48. I'm confident
your tiny earth minds
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49. Will benefit
from my educational television.
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50. - Hold up.
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51. Educational television?
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52. You know that learning and fun
are enemies in the wild, right?
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53. - Well, if you don't want it...
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54. - 65 trillion channels?
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55. - From 17 different galaxies.
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56. - We'll take our chances.
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57. Space jail.
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58. Martian martial arts mayhem.
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59. - Ooh, this one's
just stuff exploding.
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60. - And that's the actual title,
just stuff exploding.
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61. I got to tell you, sqweep,
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62. This does not sound
like brain food.
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63. - I assure you—
- shh, shh, shh, shh.
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64. Tv talking now.
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65. - And here's more
of theta quadrant's
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66. Painfulest home videos.
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67. Clang!
- Ooh, my gleentorgs!
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68. right in the gleentorgs.
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69. - I love educational television.
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70. - Kiss me, omeganaught!
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71. Kiss me with each
of your seven mouths.
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72. - Officer zankar-7, stand down.
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73. You can't parachute
from space jail!
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74. It's in space!
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75. - But I'm a loose cannon, chief.
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76. And it's the only way to save
the galactic emperor's baby.
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77. - Do it!
- Do it, zankar!
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78. - Zankar!
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79. - Deploy space-chute in three,
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80. Two—
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81. - Hey!
- Tv!
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82. - Continue watching,
yes or no?
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83. yeah!
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84. Continue watching!
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85. - Think of
the galactic emperor's baby!
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86. - One plus one equals...
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87. - Hey—
what—
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88. Hey, what's wrong
with your tv?
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89. - Nothing.
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90. It is a perfectly functioning
educational television.
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91. - Yeah, maybe it's
my earth intelligence,
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92. But on this planet,
educational tv
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93. Means puppets
teaching the alphabet
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94. Or songs about washing
your hands after you tinkle.
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95. - Uh, whoa, whoa,
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96. We're supposed to do what
after what?
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97. - Well, you can finish
the chips.
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98. - Well, on my planet,
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99. Educational television
is a device.
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100. In order to continue watching,
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101. You must answer
an academic question.
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102. - But that's like work!
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103. On lazy Saturday?
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104. Oh, what is wrong with you?
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105. - Easy, b.O.B.
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106. You know, whatever.
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107. As long as there's still tv,
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108. I can handle
some simple math.
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109. One plus one equals—
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110. - Mushroom.
- Seriously?
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111. - That answer is wrong!
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112. - What was that?
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113. - Paincentive,
a registered alien trademark.
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114. - It's also a registered
butt mark.
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115. - Every time
you get a question wrong,
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116. There will be
another sonic blast
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117. To remind you
to be smarter.
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118. - Identify the shape.
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119. - Big boom
for every wrong answer, huh?
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120. You thinking
what I'm thinking, buddy?
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121. - The shape is a no-angle?
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122. - That answer is wrong!
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123. - Cool!
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124. - Yeah!
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125. Take that, books!
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126. This is way better
than regular tv.
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127. Come on, b.O.B.
Let's go have some fun.
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128. - What?
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129. - You are thirsty.
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130. Do you need a glass of water
or a campfire?
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131. - I'm deferring to b.O.B.
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132. - Does the campfire
have any juice boxes?
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133. - That answer is wrong!
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134. - Yeah!
- All right!
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135. - What are you doing?
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136. This is not improving
your earth intelligence.
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137. - I'm smart enough
to know I'm not bored anymore.
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138. - "e" equals mc boom.
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139. - What sound does a cow make?
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140. - None.
It's in stealth mode.
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141. - Why would a cow
be in stealth mode?
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142. - Ask her.
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143. She's the one
wearing cowmaflage.
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144. that answer is wrong!
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145. - You are mocking
the educational process.
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146. This experiment—
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147. Ha!
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148. - Oh, nothing much.
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149. Just chilling, plotting evil,
you know?
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150. How's your day?
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151. - Duck.
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152. D-o-zero-q?
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153. - Wrong!
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154. - Surprise!
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155. - You are disappointing
the entire universe.
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156. - Wrong!
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157. - Cupcakes.
- Wrong!
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158. - Anything important broken?
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159. - Not yet.
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160. - Are you going to do nothing
about this?
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161. - Shh.
Lazy Saturday.
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162. - But—
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163. - Wrong!
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164. - Yeah!
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165. You got nothing!
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166. Come on,
I'll make it easy for you.
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167. - You realize you are confirming
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168. The inferiority
of earth intelligence?
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169. - Oh, I got you this time!
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170. - Pick which cat is different.
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171. Here is a hint.
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172. It is the one
that is an elephant.
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173. - Hmm.
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174. - Um, that one looks...
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175. Vegetarian?
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176. What happened?
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177. - I do not know.
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178. - Your mind is an insult
to the universe.
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179. shows what you know.
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180. I don't even have a mind.
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181. - I am forced to increase
the paincentive to ultimate.
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182. - Huh, that sounds ominous.
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183. - Well, it serves
you both right.
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184. Sometimes the only way
to learn—
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185. - Any planet
that produces such stupidity
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186. Cannot be allowed to exist.
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187. - Say what with the what?
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188. - Oh, gleentorgs.
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189. - Now downloading an app
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190. To launch the earth
into the sun.
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191. Have a nice five minutes
of remaining existence.
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192. - Wait.
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193. Is that app free?
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194. 'cause you didn't ask
my credit card number,
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195. Which is seven—
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196. - Downloading faster now.
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197. Make the blue man go away.
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198. Make him go.
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199. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
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200. You can't just shoot us
into the sun
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201. Over some stupid questions!
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202. - Uh, technically,
the answers were stupid, buddy.
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203. - Oh, now you're smart.
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204. - Do you know what it means
if the planet is incinerated?
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205. - Yeah, we're all goners!
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206. - Worse!
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207. An automatic d-minus
in earth studies.
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208. What?
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209. - Come on.
Give us another question.
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210. I promise we'll get it right.
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211. - Yes, one more chance.
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212. Please?
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213. - Final question.
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214. - Phew.
- Phew.
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215. - Calculate
the velocity required
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216. To maximize the gravitational
slingshot effect
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217. When rounding perselon's
second largest moon
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218. During the apex
of its orbital crossing.
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219. - That'll be for you.
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220. - But that moon orbits
an irregular ellipses
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221. That vary with each cycle.
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222. It would take two days
to run all the calculations.
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223. - Download complete.
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224. Now shake very lightly and—
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225. - Maybe the answer is—
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226. - What's going on?
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227. - If somebody doesn't tell
that mini tv
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228. The right velocity
for some gravity slingshot,
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229. It's gonna launch this rock
into the sun!
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230. - Is it weird that not a single
word of that surprised me?
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231. - Perselon's
second largest moon, eh?
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232. Tricky job,
irregular ellipses and whatnot.
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233. Better let me have a go.
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234. - No, thank you.
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235. - Yes, please.
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236. - Unnecessary.
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237. - Actually, I believe—
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238. - Actually, it would be
most helpful
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239. If you'd shut your mandibles
and let me work.
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240. - Okay, I think
it's got something to do
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241. With ice cream sandwi—
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242. - You're missing the shortcut
provided by gervalli's constant.
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243. Gervalli's constant
does not apply
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244. To quadruple helix patterns.
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245. - Not on the first
seven cycles, but—
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246. - Enough!
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247. Your friends have already proven
that earth intelligence
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248. Is inferior, incompetent,
and incapable.
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249. - I got it.
The answer is "one foot."
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250. - One foot?
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251. - That's not even a measure
of velocity.
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252. - Signal lost.
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253. - Earth intelligence
is fine, thanks.
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254. It just runs stronger
on the female side.
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255. - Oh, susan broke the tv.
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256. I'm bored again.
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257. - You want to go play
experimental weapons tag?
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258. - I'm in!
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259. - I'll get the launch codes.
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