1. Male announcer: And now,
nickelodeon and dreamworks'
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2. Monsters vs. Aliens.
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3. - Oh, yeah,
it's freaky.
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4. - Area 50-something.
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5. It's no secret
monsters call it home.
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6. But there is something more
frightening, more dangerous.
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7. Inside this secret outpost,
the government is hiding...
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8. Aliens!
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9. That's right, folks,
aliens from other planets!
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10. Of course,
the government denies that,
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11. But this news scooper
has the inside scoop.
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12. - Derek,
what a nice surprise.
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13. - I know, right?
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14. Well, hold on to your hat,
susan, because news flash:
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15. I'm considering getting
back together... With you!
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16. - Uh-huh.
- Yeah, I decided your being big
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17. Wasn't so big after all.
So how's about I come over
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18. To the old secret base
and we talk it out?
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19. - Oh, and while
you're here,
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20. Maybe I could show you
some things,
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21. Like, I don't know,
aliens?
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22. - Aliens?
Yeah, that could be cool.
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23. - Uh-huh, now,
just one question, derek—
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24. Is it my tv, or is your hairline
really starting to recede?
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25. - Wait.
Are you watching?
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26. - Oh, yeah, derek,
and I've got late-breaking news
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27. For all your viewers.
I wouldn't go out with you
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28. If you were
the last man on earth!
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29. - cut to commercial!
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30. Karen, get the shine
off my skull!
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31. - Ha! Burn!
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32. - My, my, my,
how intriguing.
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33. - I know, they mixed the peas
with these little onions.
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34. Shouldn't work, but...
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35. Boy howdy, it does!
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36. - I assure you, grand coverlord,
this plan is flawless.
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37. I will make contact
with this news stooge.
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38. Then when word
of my existence is broadcast,
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39. The world will descend
into panic!
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40. Plus the camera loves me.
It's the cheekbones.
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41. - Where do you think
you're going?
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42. - General, I was just about to,
you know, hover around.
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43. - De-nied!
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44. Especially with a reporter
snooping around.
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45. Last thing I need
is your ugly mug on the tvs.
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46. Now, hover yourself
back into your secure area,
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47. And give me that hat!
- Um, but I—
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48. Ah, here comes plan "b."
♪ dum-da-dum-da-dum-dum-dum
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49. - So, bob, quite a scene
in the mess hall today, eh?
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50. - I know.
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51. Those peas and onions
shouldn't work together,
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52. But gosh darn it,
they just do.
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53. - Actually, I was thinking
of another odd couple,
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54. Susan and derek.
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55. - They are not a couple.
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56. Susan said she wouldn't
go out with derek
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57. If he was
the last man on earth.
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58. - Mm, but he's not
the last man on earth, is he?
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59. - which means
she would go out with him.
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60. Wow.
Mind... Blown.
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61. I gotta get
those two crazy kids together!
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62. - Exactly, bob.
Bring derek onto this base.
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63. But tell no one
what you're doing.
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64. "the man" will do whatever
he can to keep them apart.
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65. - "the man."
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66. - Yes, "the man."
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67. Now, fly, bob!
Fly the on the wings of love!
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68. - Hello?
- I know what's going on,
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69. And I want to help you.
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70. - Bob?
- I'm on a call.
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71. - With me.
- Wow, huh.
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72. How crazy is that?
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73. Derek, I'm going to bring you
to your one true love.
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74. - Myself?
- No, silly, susan.
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75. - You're going to take me
to susan?
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76. In the top secret
underground base?
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77. Where all the aliens are?
- Yup, I'm a hopeless romantic.
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78. - I'm about to single-handedly
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79. Sneak
into area 50-something.
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80. I alone will face
the gauntlet of deadly—
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81. - Hey!
It's this way.
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82. - Okay, but stay out of my shot.
Can you do that?
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83. Oh! Oh!
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84. - Wow, that was stinky!
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85. - Dietl here.
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86. I've infiltrated
area 50-something,
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87. Using methods
I'm not at liberty to disclose.
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88. - He came in
through the sewer!
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89. - So bob,
when do we see aliens?
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90. - Aliens?
You mean susan, right?
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91. - Uh...
Slip of the tongue?
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92. - Oh, I can see that.
Aliens, susan.
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93. They're both spelled
with... Letters.
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94. someone's coming.
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95. Maybe "the man."
I gotta hide you.
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96. - Wait!
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97. - call me crazy,
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98. But I'm not a fan
of the little onions.
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99. - Hey, guys!
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100. I'm not hiding susan's
ex-boyfriend behind this door!
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101. - You're crazy.
- I like what I like.
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102. - Bob?
- I'll go get susan.
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103. You hide from "the man."
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104. - This is the worst place
to hide from "the man."
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105. It's "the man's" office!
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106. - Finally,
alone at last.
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107. - Okay.
Okay, "d" man, focus now.
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108. Get the scoop.
Network gig.
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109. Eye on the prize.
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110. - konichiwa.
Time to dancing.
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111. Busting your moves
on level one.
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112. - Consider them busted.
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113. - Surprise?
Bob, what surprise?
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114. - All I'm going to say
is what you're about to see
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115. Will change your life,
forever!
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116. - O, m, and g.
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117. - Wow, the general's totally
loose in the caboose.
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118. - What are you doing?
This is a private office!
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119. Get out!
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120. Where was I?
Oh, that's right.
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121. Locking my way
back to funky town.
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122. - Well, bob, that did
change my life... Forever.
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123. Not for the better.
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124. - Ah, bob!
Have you found the report—
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125. - "the man" has ears everywhere.
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126. - There you are!
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127. Come on, I'm taking you
straight to susan.
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128. - Bob, wait, you know, I like
the hiding/surprise thing.
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129. But maybe we need
to hide me somewhere
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130. A little more secret
and secure.
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131. - What'd you have in mind,
you sly dog?
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132. - Well, do you have any,
I don't know,
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133. Aliens on this base?
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134. - Genius!
Nobody but nobody goes in here,
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135. Ever!
It's perfect.
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136. - perfect.
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137. Wait, what's
with the giant doggy toys?
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138. - Unless somebody's
got a giant—
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139. - And you're sure this isn't
another monger booty quake,
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140. Right?
- Oh, no,
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141. You're going to want
to see this.
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142. Ta-da!
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143. - Okay, bob, thanks...
For showing me... That.
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144. - That thing ate me.
I was eaten.
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145. I don't want to be eaten.
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146. Wait, did it digest
any of my hair?
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147. - Uh, maybe.
Was this shiny spot always here?
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148. - Hair damage!
No scoop is worth that.
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149. Unless it gets me
my own show.
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150. Ho, ho, then I could—
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151. No, no, "d" man,
that's crazy talk!
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152. You can't replace
hair like mine.
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153. The curl.
I can't pay that price.
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154. This story
is just not worth it!
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155. - No, derek!
I will not have you
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156. Giving up on this story,
this fairy tale, this romance.
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157. You know what?
You need a pep talk,
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158. From my peppy friend.
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159. busting your moves on level one.
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160. - Level one can prepare
to be annihilated
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161. By my "skillz"...
With a "z."
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162. - Coverton!
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163. - Ah, bob and the...
Tv blabber-person of ill repute.
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164. - So you have seen
my show?
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165. - Indeed.
I find your appetite
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166. For the exploitation
and debasement of others
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167. Positively delightful.
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168. - Oh.
Uh, cool.
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169. - Coverton, can I leave derek
here with you?
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170. He needs a pep talk
something fierce.
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171. - Dearest derek,
let us chat.
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172. - Great, you two chew the fat.
I'll get susan.
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173. - Get me in 3/4 profile
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174. And make sure the lighting
isn't too harsh.
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175. Sometimes there's an awful,
unflattering shine
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176. On my forehead.
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177. - Mr. Alien, we speak
each other's language.
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178. - No really, susan.
This time for sure.
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179. - Okay, but this is
the last time.
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180. - Susan, bob,
what can I do for you?
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181. - Where's derek?
- Wait, derek was here?
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182. - Ah, dang!
I ruined the surprise.
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183. - Derek's long gone now.
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184. But he did walk away
with a hot exclusive:
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185. "close encounter: Me!"
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186. The world's going to love it.
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187. - Oh, no!
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188. - ah, no signal.
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189. Why do they have to put
these secret installations
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190. In the middle of nowhere?
- Yeah,
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191. So you can't upload pictures
or videos.
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192. - Susan?
Is that... You?
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193. You're—you're normal!
- Normal?
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194. - Yeah, you're not a 50-foot
giant abomination anymore.
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195. Why didn't you tell me,
baby?
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196. Now we can totally
get back together.
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197. For reals.
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198. Might fix the hair,
though.
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199. But other than that,
you're totally normal again.
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200. Sweet.
- Derek,
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201. I've always been normal,
even when I'm ginormous.
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202. - I want you to meet sqweep.
You'll like sqweep.
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203. Sqweep's an alien.
- Really? An alien?
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204. - Yeah, an alien with a nice
little memory wiper.
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205. - Wait! No!
Nooooo!
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206. - Ah, look at them.
Derek and susan together again,
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207. Just like peas and onions.
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208. where am I?
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209. Wait a second.
Who am I?
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210. "your name is derek di-et-l,
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211. "and you have no chance
with susan murphy.
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212. P.S. Your hairline
is definitely receding."
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