Monsters vs. Aliens 1x38

Directed by

Gillian Jacobs as Sta'abi (voice)

Sta'abi recruits Bob to teach her the art of combat.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Dodge, weave, double dodge,

2. And-

3. - Player one loses.

4. - Oh, man! Again?

5. That makes, what, like, 12 games?

6. How do you do it, b.O.B.?

7. - Do what?

8. Where are they?

9. - Who you talking about?

10. - The defeated.

11. I heard their anguished cries

12. And came to laugh at their shame faces.

13. - Oh, I guess you're looking for me then.

14. Laugh away. - Ha ha!

15. Shame fa—wait.

16. You are not the defeated.

17. Where are your gaping wounds?

18. Your severed limbs? Your head stump?

19. - We were playing a video game, sta'abi.

20. - We were?

21. - I just got this next box,

22. And bob's beaten me every single time.

23. It's my box!

24. - Pressing buttons makes me feel like a big boy.

25. - I will play this game of videos against you, blob,

26. And I will win.

27. - Player one loses.

28. - Again!

29. - Player one loses.

30. - No! Again!

31. - Player one loses.

32. Player one loses.

33. Loses. Loses.

34. Loses. Wins...

35. - Yes!

36. - For losing most games in a row.

37. - So you're saying it's not taco Tuesday

38. Or spaghetti Saturday?

39. - Player one loses...

40. Again.

41. - Aah! My next box!

42. - Totally had it coming,

43. Is what I was going to say.

44. I was going to destroy it myself, and then—

45. Sta'aaaaaabi!

46. - No!

47. - Oh, mighty master b.O.B.,

48. You have bested me in battle.

49. Teach me your sacred secrets of combat.

50. - My student, if you want to be like me,

51. The first thing you gotta know is

52. I don't do anything on an empty stomach.

53. - Because a warrior's stomach must be filled

54. With bile and spite?

55. - Um, more like pastrami.

56. I like lots of layers.

57. - Yes, master. Many layers.

58. - I believe now is an appropriate time

59. For a "wha?"

60. - And a follow-up: Double wha?

61. - Yeah, that's happening.

62. Now can we get back to talking about my next box?

63. My poor, sweet next box.

64. - Sta'abi, I'm gonna teach you to walk like me,

65. Talk like me, and think like somebody else.

66. 'cause I don't do a lot of the thinking, per se.

67. - Go!

68. whee!

69. How'd you do?

70. - I have ruined my boots.

71. - Occupied. - Oh.

72. - Sta'abi, you seem like you're having

73. A hard, per se, time getting the essence of b.O.B.

74. - It is true, master.

75. - Aw, it's simple.

76. Always don't do the thing

77. That you aren't supposed to not do.

78. - I don't understand.

79. - There you go, friend.

80. Now you're getting it. Come on.

81. I want to show you something

82. That will change your life. - Whoo!

83. - All right, good.

84. A little bit here and boom.

85. Factory fresh next box.

86. - Link, though your repairs are, um, novel,

87. I'm not sure they're scientifically sound.

88. - Doc, here's what I've learned on my little journey.

89. As long as you believe in yourself,

90. You can—aah! Fire in the hole!

91. - There, there, link.

92. No need to wail, simper, and/or caterwaul.

93. I can fix this.

94. - Seriously?

95. 'cause it looks pretty toast.

96. - Just need a few spare parts.

97. - Hey, my old vcr.

98. And my hip-hoppercise tape is still in there.

99. Who threw this out?

100. - I-I have no idea.

101. Ooh, look at this.

102. A discarded data server.

103. An excellent candidate for parts.

104. Provided it still works.

105. - Let's give it some juice.

106. - It's booting up. That's a good sign.

107. - Roo, roo, roo...

108. - "roo"? Is it trying to talk?

109. - Rule violation 91-c!

110. Unauthorized power cord.

111. Rule-bot!

112. - Aah!

113. - The rule-bot.

114. I thought we'd seen the last of that mechanical menace.

115. - Me too. You said as long as we never plugged him in again,

116. We'd—ooh.

117. We done a bad thing, doc.

118. - All will obey the rule-bot!

119. - Hey, that smarts!

120. - Ow!

121. - It's really something, huh?

122. Link first turned me on to this.

123. - Master, it is a rock.

124. - Mm-hmm.

125. - And we've been staring at it for hours.

126. - Yep. - I do not get the point.

127. - Oh, it has no point.

128. It's round. See?

129. - So sta'abi should be round like the rock?

130. - Wait.

131. I forgot the question.

132. I do not wish to be impatient, master,

133. But when will you teach me to crush my enemies

134. And make candlesticks out of their shinbones?

135. - Don't know.

136. Now let me ask you a question—

137. When will you teach me to crush my shinbones

138. And make enemies out of their candlesticks?

139. see?

140. It goes both ways, little friend.

141. Enough!

142. You show me how to make sandwiches

143. And stare at rocks and ruin boots in toilet,

144. But never any glorious combat!

145. Do you know anything

146. About mercilessly destroying enemies or not?

147. - Rule violation 81-f: Unnecessarily loud ranting.

148. - rule-bot.

149. - Wait a minute. I know that voice.

150. - Yes, I said, "rule-bot."

151. - On the tip of my tongue.

152. - It is rule-bot!

153. Rule-bot! Rule-bot!

154. Rule-bot!

155. - Prepare to be standardized for optimal behavior.

156. - Hey, guys!

157. Maybe you could settle this. Is that—

158. - Rule-bot is controlling us.

159. - And he's going to make us control you too.

160. - Yes. You will obey the rules.

161. All the rules. All the time.

162. Soon I shall control every man, woman, and child in the world!

163. Especially the children.

164. They're so unruly.

165. Is washing hands before dinner such a hard concept?

166. All will obey the rule-bot!

167. - Rule-bot!

168. Okay, you were right, sta'abi.

169. - Containment violation.

170. Minions, stop her!

171. - Forced to act... Against my will.

172. - And speak... Like... I'm constipated!

173. - Not my fault!

174. I'm not doing this!

175. Aah!

176. Remember...

177. I am a fellow alien. Aah!

178. - Back, or I will bludgeon you with this!

179. - "this"? "this" is me!

180. - Last time, we beat rule-bot,

181. By making him break his own rules.

182. - Overloaded his...

183. Logic board!

184. - And who's more... Illogical than... B.O.B.?

185. - I'm a glass of water!

186. - Yes, I must be b.O.B.

187. - Aah!

188. - Rule violation 34-d!

189. No rolling on hangar floor.

190. - This sandwich has many layers. - Layers?

191. Sandwich discussion is illogical in this circumstance.

192. - Maybe. Hold that thought.

193. I just flushed myself. Yay!

194. - Your behavior is illogical.

195. It has no point.

196. - Yes, it is round.

197. - Illogical! Does not compute!

198. Not—not—not logical!

199. - Sta'abi! I think you did it!

200. - Huzzah! Rule-bot once again is—

201. - rule-bot has fooled you!

202. Rule-bot improved its logic board

203. Since our last encounter.

204. Also its practical joke board.

205. Ha, ha, ha.

206. Rule-bot will rule all!

207. - Sta'abi!

208. Being water is fun!

209. - Yes. Yes, it is.

210. Sta'abi!

211. - Ha ha.

212. - Rule violation h-404:

213. No liquid in the rule-b-b-b-bot...

214. - Yeah! - Yeah!

215. - I'm controlling me again.

216. Hold on, let me make sure with a bicep flex.

217. She-gow! It's all good there.

218. Now let me check out the pecs.

219. oh, yeah!

220. - That was awesome, sta'abi.

221. - Thank you, master.

222. - Well, what do you say we call it a day?

223. - Yes, master.

224. We shall call it a day.

225. Sha'agout!

226. - Uh, okay.

227. Sha'agout to you too.

228. - Per se.