Monsters vs. Aliens 1x29

Directed by

Gillian Jacobs as Sta'abi (voice)

Link and Sta'abi duel for driving privileges of a new car.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Male announcer: And now, nickelodeon and dreamworks'

2. Monsters vs. Aliens.

3. - Oh, yeah, it's freaky.

4. - Eyes and ears, people.

5. I've called you here for a very special presentation

6. From our resident genius.

7. - Wow! This is unexpected.

8. I-I didn't prepare any formal remarks,

9. But I'm happy to wing it.

10. - I meant the other genius.

11. - Greetings! - Oh.

12. Of course.

13. As part of my earth studies research,

14. I have made some interesting observations.

15. - Great. - Hey! Be nice.

16. - Specifically, your ground vehicles

17. Are shockingly slow,

18. Which is why I created the x-25.

19. - Ah!

20. If awesome married incredible

21. And then had a beautiful baby,

22. That baby would be called...

23. X-25!

24. Wah-hoo-hoo-hoo!

25. That's, uh...

26. Yeah, I was just saying...

27. That is one sweet ride.

28. - So sweet your teeth will fall out,

29. Which is exactly what happened

30. To the first guy who tried to drive it.

31. - It's too fast.

32. - Still, the top brass

33. Want the x-25 fully checked out.

34. So I need a guinea pi—

35. I mean, test driver of the nonhuman variety.

36. - question.

37. Does this so-called "test driver"

38. Need to know how to "drive."

39. - Yes, b.O.B., and you do not know how to drive.

40. - I'm out.

41. - General, I was hots for this job.

42. - Make us proud, fish man.

43. - General monger, I must object.

44. The car is alien technology.

45. - Precisely, I am the logical choice

46. For this task.

47. - You?

48. Your tiny feet wouldn't even reach the pedals.

49. - Hey! I created it.

50. - For this job, I nominate—

51. - I will drive to honor and glory.

52. - How long was she up there?

53. - Two days. - She likes to make an entrance.

54. - I already made my road trip mix, so...

55. Ping!

56. Missy, you just opened up

57. A can of carbonated link.

58. - Ah, good. We make the combat.

59. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

60. You both want to drive the x-25?

61. Take it to the rampage room.

62. Winner drives. Loser cries.

63. You will be put through a series of tests

64. That will push you to the edge mentally and physically.

65. Whoever proves they've got the right stuff,

66. Pilots the car.

67. - You will eat failure.

68. - Not while these gills suck air.

69. woot!

70. - As a fellow contestant,

71. I, too, wish to engage in trash talk.

72. I will win more points than either of you

73. By a statistically significant amount.

74. Hey!

75. I created it!

76. Wait!

77. - Oh, the youth

78. And their sense of entitlement, right?

79. - X-25 candidates,

80. The stress test begins...

81. Now!

82. - Begins when again?

83. Let me know when you're ready to start.

84. - I thought we were to be having contest,

85. Not the baby pampering.

86. It's like fire moon of scorcherin.

87. Me like!

88. - Come on, general.

89. Tell me you've got more than this.

90. Please, I was frozen in a block of ice

91. For 20,000 years.

92. This is nothing.

93. - I-I, too, am mocking this test.

94. - You want more?

95. Fine, hotshots.

96. Show me agility!

97. Stamina!

98. Endurance!

99. Concentration. - Hmm...

100. - Sense of whimsy.

101. - What are we being again?

102. - Magic pixies.

103. I think.

104. - Looks like we got us a tie. - Not for long.

105. The next event is swimming.

106. - Game, set, match! Link will crush her.

107. - You're okay on land,

108. But agua es mi casa.

109. It means I live in the water

110. Or, technically, that my house is water.

111. Anyway, you're going down!

112. - I hope you swim the water

113. Better than you trash the talk.

114. - Ready, set...

115. - Huh, how braggy he was,

116. I thought link would be less drown-y.

117. - He usually is. He's a natural.

118. - Ugh, this is pathetic...

119. Suspiciously pathetic.

120. - Ah!

121. Quite a contest, eh?

122. Go, link! Go, link!

123. - Ah, thought for certain

124. The swamp monkey would do better.

125. Go, sta'abi.

126. - Swim! Swim! Swim!

127. - Go, link! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

128. No! Don't have a stroke!

129. - Miss link is crushed.

130. - Alien power, huzzah!

131. - Sta'abi wins.

132. Somebody fish link out of the drink.

133. - How?

134. I just...

135. I don't...

136. I'm a fish man.

137. I swim... Like a fish... Man.

138. - So sta'abi gets to drive the world's fastest car.

139. So what?

140. - Okay, okay. Forget I said that.

141. Look, it was a fluke.

142. You know what you need to do?

143. Get back on that horse and swim.

144. - Horse and swim?

145. You're sure you want to go with that?

146. - It's a sea horse, all right?

147. Point is, link needs to get back in the water.

148. - Right. Go, link!

149. He's doing it! - He's sinking, b.O.B.

150. - Which, if you think about it,

151. Is just swimming down.

152. Hey, way to go, pal.

153. Nobody sinks like you.

154. - Swimming any other direction would be better.

155. - Don't listen to the doubters.

156. You keep right on sinking.

157. - He's down as far as he can go, b.O.B.

158. - You did it, buddy!

159. You hit rock bottom.

160. Yay, link!

161. - The x-25 is one pricey piece of hardware.

162. Last thing we want is to end up

163. Parking it in the side of a mountain.

164. So just light her up,

165. Cruise at top speed for a couple of seconds,

166. And then shut her down.

167. Don't get fancy out there.

168. - I never get fancy.

169. - Why do I have to be here?

170. - It's called being a good sport.

171. - Don't want to be a good sport.

172. - Sta'abi might wipe out and crash the x-25,

173. Explosions, balls of flame.

174. You wouldn't want to miss that.

175. - Really? You think that might happen?

176. - Oh, there's a chance it will. 0.8%.

177. - I like those odds.

178. - I think these things are broken.

179. Ah. Much better.

180. - Booster boots, activate.

181. I believe I am now sized appropriately for the task.

182. - General, might I make one suggestion?

183. - No, but I got a feeling that ain't gonna stop you.

184. - I am merely demonstrating

185. The best candidate for this job is me.

186. After all, I created...

187. - Aliens!

188. - Hey, guys, do you know sta'abi looks just like sqweep?

189. - What? Sqweep's in that car?

190. - No, sta'abi looks just like sqweep.

191. Aren't you listening?

192. - Sqweep, you're not authorized for this mission.

193. Power down a.S.A.P.

194. sorry, general.

195. I seem to have made an unfortunate miscalculation.

196. I cannot stop it.

197. - Monsters are on it, general.

198. - This is an alien situation,

199. And aliens will handle it.

200. Latching onto the vehicle with my telekinetic powers,

201. I simply will...

202. Ooh! Stop!

203. Stop! I order you to—

204. Ungh!

205. - Sqweep's coming back!

206. - I got this!

207. Oh, man!

208. Got the wrong alien.

209. - I thank you regardless.

210. - For honor and glory.

211. Ungh!

212. - Agh!

213. - Given the fixed speed of the x-25,

214. I could calculate an intersection point.

215. - The slingshot express.

216. - Seriously?

217. - A kid's life is on the line.

218. Slingshot me!

219. - Agh!

220. - Now!

221. link!

222. - Hey, kid. What's up?

223. Whoo!

224. - If you're attempting a rescue,

225. Please hurry!

226. - Right. Sorry.

227. - I believe the earth expression is...

228. Agh!

229. Agh!

230. - Ah, fish sticks.

231. - Your failed attempt to save me is appreciated.

232. - Fail...

233. Ungh.

234. Not while these gills suck air.

235. - I created it.

236. - I feel your pain.

237. Good-bye, you big, beautiful dream machine.

238. My dream.

239. - Explain yourself, little sqweep.

240. - X-25 was for me to drive.

241. - Exactly.

242. What was the point of me cheating for sta'abi

243. If you were just going to take the car anyway?

244. Answer me that, child.

245. - Say that again.

246. - Cheated?

247. - Um, well, yes,

248. Just a little bit

249. To assure your victory.

250. Sort of a victory assist, if you will.

251. - This is an insult to my ancestors

252. And my descendants.

253. I must avenge their past and future honor.

254. - Agh!

255. - Awesome.

256. - Now fleeing for life!

257. - Well said.