Monsters vs. Aliens 1x27

Directed by

Gillian Jacobs as Sta'abi (voice)

Sqweep has to go "number seven."

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Male announcer: And now, nickelodeon and dreamworks'

2. Monsters vs. Aliens.

3. - Oh, yeah, it's freaky.

4. - Now, what does it all mean?

5. It's a riddle, wrapped in a mystery,

6. Carved into sweet nebraska corn,

7. And this base will not rest until...

8. - I have to go. - That was random.

9. - May I remind you, sqweep,

10. That this is a mandatory security briefing,

11. And no one is authorized to leave.

12. - You misinterpret.

13. I mean, I have to go.

14. - She means bathroom stuff.

15. number one or number two?

16. - Number seven. - Uh, what?

17. - Okay.

18. That's, like, three number ones

19. Plus six number twos.

20. - I regret that I have to ask for more information.

21. - It is a digestive quirk unique to my people.

22. In addition to regular restroom visits,

23. Once every seven years, our body requires us

24. To go number seven.

25. For further information, I present

26. This excruciatingly detailed picture book,

27. Everybody number 7's.

28. - Oh, dear. - Yeah, I'll pass.

29. - Ew. - Thank you, no.

30. - Negative.

31. Books. - All right, sqweep.

32. You're excused to do your, uh, business.

33. We'll pick back up in five. - Oh, no, general.

34. I must travel to my home planet.

35. Earth facilities are not equipped

36. To deal with number seven.

37. - Hey, nobody bad-mouths our toilets.

38. - The event would destroy your planet's

39. Entire sanitation system.

40. - Hmm, make a note to myself.

41. Destroy earth's sanitation system?

42. Oh, yes. Indeedy, doody.

43. - It's all in the book, see? It's a pop-up.

44. - No. - Oh, ho, ho, no.

45. - That defies the laws of gravity,

46. Physics, and basic decency.

47. - It's like they made a rainbow out of—

48. - priority one security escort.

49. Get this alien on a rocket back home now!

50. - Good-bye. - Well, good luck to you.

51. - Don't forget to wash your... Everything.

52. - Hmm, let me see.

53. Snip this, crush that.

54. Oh, that looks important.

55. Obliterate.

56. The perfect crime.

57. Ow, my finger!

58. - I want you to duck and cover

59. Until that ship is clear.

60. - I hope I can hold it.

61. - The kid's gonna blow. Everybody, save yourself!

62. - That's not number seven, link.

63. - No, but I'm afraid it's going to be.

64. - Dramatic pronouncement.

65. - The insect-man is right.

66. Without that ship, sqweep has no way of getting home.

67. It's the a-poo-calypse.

68. Oh, look what I did with words there.

69. Clever boy.

70. - E.T.A. For repairs. - It would take weeks to fix.

71. And I need to go now!

72. - But what about the poor toilets?

73. - Mm, doomed. - Even li'l flushie?

74. - Yes. - Sparklebowl?

75. - Afraid so.

76. - Lady duchess porcelina swirlington?

77. - Did you really name every toilet on this base?

78. - They name themselves, broverton.

79. You just have to listen to their sweet song.

80. - I will not accept the destruction

81. Of this planet's waste management system

82. On my watch.

83. - You may not have to.

84. If sqweep can hold out for a short while longer,

85. I'm confident I could build a sanitation unit

86. Capable of withstanding number seven.

87. - Your solution is a mega-potty?

88. Okay, that's actually pretty impressive.

89. - And his name shall be

90. Rear admiral b.M. Dumpsworthy.

91. - General monger, I protest.

92. If anyone is to build a number seven containment unit,

93. It should be me.

94. oh.

95. Excuse me.

96. - I want your focus on one thing, little alien:

97. Not going number seven on my shiny,

98. Clean, lemon-fresh base.

99. Can you handle that?

100. - General, leave this one to me.

101. - No. - Too late.

102. - Whoa. - Hey!

103. - Okay, sqweep, I don't like to brag,

104. But I'm kinda the world's greatest expert

105. On not going to the bathroom.

106. - How does one become an expert

107. On not going to the bathroom?

108. - Saw a spider on the toilet once.

109. Too scared to use it for, like, ever.

110. Long story, which I just finished.

111. The end. And so it begins.

112. - aah!

113. Oh, I should not have eaten venutian chili four years ago.

114. - Reinforced titanium shielding,

115. Quintuple-redundant air filtration,

116. And a hint of lilac, so it smells like springtime.

117. - Let's build this port-a-number-seven.

118. - Right. Link, supply run.

119. Susan, all the titanium you can ginormically carry.

120. - Cockroach, pump-it-up dance.

121. Don't mind if I do.

122. The insect is making progress

123. On a containment unit,

124. Oh, grand coverlord.

125. I must accelerate my plans.

126. But how to make sqweep go even faster?

127. - oh, coverton.

128. Whew. It's just you.

129. Man, you scared the poop out of me.

130. - That's a thing?

131. - Ultimate potty dance, go!

132. Now, two steps right, and two steps left.

133. Now don't go to the bathroom.

134. That was pretty much it.

135. - Okay, I will give it a try.

136. - Two steps right. - Good.

137. - Now, two steps left.

138. - how's it going?

139. I think I just ionic discharged.

140. - Oh, you get space toots?

141. - Ionic discharge!

142. - Deepest apologies, sqweep.

143. I had no intention of frightening—

144. Eek! A cobra!

145. - Oh, my mistake. 'twas only a box.

146. - A box!

147. - Sorry, I thought box was a kind of spider.

148. you're doing great, sqweep.

149. - Wow, that came together fast.

150. - Link, we're ready for testing.

151. - Hang on, one more bite of german sausage

152. And turnip greens.

153. Let's rock this potty.

154. it doesn't work.

155. I smell everything.

156. Gah! Now, it's backing up.

157. It's backing up! - Sorry.

158. Minor computational error.

159. - Ah! That's not helping!

160. - Dr. Cockroach, we are at defe-con-one.

161. - I'm sorry, I'm not trying to ionic discharge.

162. - Maybe take your mind off of it with a distraction.

163. - Is this titanium mega-john good to go?

164. - Ooh, lilacs.

165. That does smell like springtime.

166. - Ready whenever sqweep is, general.

167. - You did it, sqweep. You made it.

168. Now, go get 'em, tiger.

169. - I-I can't. - what?

170. - Sorry. What?

171. - I always go number seven on my own planet,

172. In my own restroom.

173. - I assure you, it's perfectly safe.

174. - But it's not mine. I do not like it.

175. No, no, no, I will not use it.

176. - Now, sqweep, I'm sure you won't fall in.

177. - I had not even thought of that.

178. - What?

179. - I can't stop it.

180. - You don't have to stop it. Use the mega-potty.

181. Come on, I really want to see it work.

182. - Better idea: Evacuate the base

183. And just hope for the best?

184. - All units, prepare for immediate evac—

185. - No.

186. - I'm not giving up on you, sqweep.

187. - But I can't do it.

188. - Hey, remember the spider-on-the-seat thing?

189. I was scared for a long time too.

190. But you know what brought me out of it?

191. The potty song.

192. - Save yourselves.

193. - Now, some of the words might not apply

194. To number seven or whatever,

195. So I'm gonna freestyle a bit.

196. But, you know, go with it.

197. - B.O.B., is this really— - second verse.

198. look.

199. - Sqweep's doing it.

200. - Wrangle that thunderbox, little alien.

201. - Dr. C? - Brace for impact.

202. Flush you very much!

203. - Mmm, lilacs.

204. And we're all clear for another seven years.

205. - Way to go, sqweep.

206. - I can't believe that worked.

207. B.O.B., your song is amazing.

208. - Yeah, I don't know how you could listen

209. And not have to go to the— wow, that is super effective.

210. - I, um, gotta go. - Me too.

211. - Emergency!

212. Oh, too late.