Monsters vs. Aliens 1x16

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To get strong enough to pass an obstacle course, Dr. Cockroach tweaks his 50/50 man/roach genetic makeup so he'll be 40 percent man and 60 percent roach. Unfortunately, his roach side keeps increasing at the cost of his human side and its intellect, forcing his teammates to find a way to reverse the process.

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1. Male announcer: And now, nickelodeon and dreamworks'

2. Monsters vs. Aliens.

3. - Oh, yeah, it's freaky.

4. - Monsters, I'm sure you're all familiar

5. With my fit-to-be-awesome program.

6. - The one where kids run an obstacle course

7. To promote physical fitness and get a patch?

8. - Yes, but we've switched it up to temporary tattoos

9. Because I'm cool like that.

10. - Ugh.

11. - Way ahead of you, boss.

12. Spokes-fish-man link is happy to motivate the youth.

13. Just point the cameras at me.

14. - Oh, you're not selling the program, link.

15. You're participating in it.

16. - You want us to run a child's obstacle course?

17. - Not exactly.

18. - Where the tots have bouncy balls

19. We're gonna put pointy things and lasers.

20. And the best part— - fail and you're off the team.

21. - What?

22. - Oh, you can go on being a monster,

23. But you'll have to do it somewhere else.

24. Private sector maybe.

25. - Um, one question.

26. Back here. Why?

27. - Because I need to know my very expensive elite monster team

28. Can at least outrun a fifth grader.

29. Oh, come on.

30. It'll be fun.

31. And mandatory.

32. All right, monsters.

33. Show me what you got.

34. Fish-man, you're up.

35. - Excellent.

36. Next.

37. - Nice.

38. Though you could have gone ginormic

39. And just stepped to the end.

40. - What? - Blue guy, wow me.

41. - Temporary tattoo me.

42. - Last, we have the good doctor.

43. - Hey, doc. Where are ya, bro?

44. - Uh, maybe he got lost.

45. Yeah.

46. - What is it? I was scrapbooking.

47. - The obstacle course.

48. - Oh, right.

49. - He's gonna nail the best time. - Totally.

50. Doc's got the speedy roach, gene.

51. - Yeah, but not the one for chin-ups.

52. Remember, I am super smart.

53. That's worth a chin-up or two, right?

54. - Not here.

55. No exceptions, doctor.

56. You've got 24 hours to pass this test.

57. - 24 hours?

58. Mr. President, you ask the impossible.

59. - Now it's 23:59.

60. - Oof.

61. this is pointless.

62. - It's only pointless if you give up.

63. Which I'm paraphrasing from a kitten poster,

64. But that doesn't mean it's not true.

65. - Kittens are incapable of lying.

66. everyone knows this.

67. - Perhaps, but I will not find my answers

68. On a sweat-stained workout mat.

69. I'm a mad scientist.

70. I should be mad sciencing.

71. Totally a word, by the way.

72. Of course.

73. - Mr. President, dr. Cockroach's contribution to this team

74. Can't be measured by mere muscle.

75. - The guy's got brawn in his brain.

76. The team needs that.

77. - And moreover,

78. Butterflies are not flies made of butter.

79. - Hmm, I see.

80. I'm making my listening face,

81. But I've made a rash and careless decision

82. And darn it, I intend to stick by it.

83. That's what being president means.

84. So the good doctor is off your team

85. In five, four, three, two—

86. - Sorry to keep you waiting.

87. What say we dispense with the scurrying

88. And just cut to the chase?

89. Would, uh, someone give me a hand?

90. Never mind, I'll give myself one.

91. - whoa!

92. - Maybe two.

93. Satisfied, mr. President?

94. - Absolutely.

95. I'm giving you high marks.

96. And a high five.

97. - Let's make it a high ten.

98. - Math humor. Ha! Love it.

99. - Hey, doc, I gotta hand it to you.

100. - Link, if anybody should be "handing" around here

101. It should be me.

102. - 'cause you got extra hands, right?

103. - Just curious.

104. How did you grow those extra hands?

105. - Oh, susan!

106. Must you immediately leap to defcon worry?

107. - Well, look, I know what mad science looks like—

108. - Double jazz hands! - Like that.

109. It's just a matter of time before—

110. Before that.

111. - Years ago, the transformation chamber

112. Left me 50% man 50% cockroach.

113. So last night, I just turned it up a notch.

114. 60% cockroach gave me extra arms

115. And apparently some splendid wings as well.

116. - 60%?

117. Doc, this thing here says you're at 68%.

118. - and the number keeps going up.

119. - Really? - Yeah, take a look.

120. bright light!

121. Under the fridge, under the fridge.

122. Sanctuary, sanctuary.

123. - Don't like light. Don't like!

124. Cockroach taking over.

125. Must reverse.

126. Susan, help me.

127. - What do we do, doc? - Eat it.

128. Unto!

129. Unto an eat it!

130. - I don't under— - eat it!

131. - He's speaking gibberish.

132. - Unto! Eat it!

133. - Don't mind old henry, kids.

134. Just picking up the garbage.

135. Pretend I'm not here.

136. - Ah, yummy!

137. Unto eat it!

138. Unto eat it!

139. - See? Defcon worry.

140. I told you.

141. You boys keep tabs on cockroach.

142. - On it.

143. - Me? I'm gonna channel my inner mad scientist.

144. Muahahaha—ow!

145. Mm, that's harder than I thought.

146. - Doc roach, you in here?

147. - Dr. Cockroach!

148. Hello!

149. Don't mind me.

150. I'm just looking for a 98 pound cockroach.

151. enjoy your lunch.

152. - Nope, nope, nope.

153. - B.O.B! - Nope.

154. - If the route path does not exist,

155. Specify a variable designation

156. For reassignment—what?

157. Talk to me, guys.

158. Any luck? - Yes!

159. I just found a penny!

160. - B.O.B., she was talking about finding dr. Cockroach.

161. - Really? - Kinda, yeah.

162. - Pfft. Context, susan.

163. Next time you gotta give me some.

164. - Garbage coming through.

165. - Hey, where does that trash go?

166. - Down the chute to the incinerator.

167. - Ah, garbage.

168. - Good news, suze. We found doc.

169. Bad news, he's about three seconds away from 3,000 degrees.

170. - Doc! Doc!

171. Where are you?

172. - Unto eat it!

173. - Hi ya, doc.

174. - Mmm mmm.

175. - Eat it, eat it, eat it.

176. - Stop the machine!

177. - Hurry!

178. Can't hold on.

179. - Unto eat it.

180. - Link, what's going on?

181. - He's eating garbage and yelling "unto eat it"

182. Just like in the lab.

183. - Unto-eat-it?

184. no way.

185. - Hold on, doc.

186. Don't move an inch.

187. - Cupcake, mmm.

188. Eat it. - Doc!

189. - Guys, I know how to fix him.

190. - Unto eat it.

191. Unto eat it.

192. - I will, doc. I will.

193. - Will what? Eat garbage?

194. - Eat it. Eat it!

195. - He's not saying "unto eat it."

196. He's saying "undo edit."

197. We don't need to know to know how to work his machine.

198. We just need to select edit and hit "undo genetic alteration."

199. - Huzzah, susan. Thank you.

200. Though I will miss the wings.

201. Tell you what.

202. Let's bump up the roachiness five percent—

203. No!

204. - Four percent? Four? Three and 1/2?