Monsters vs. Aliens 1x11

Directed by

Dr. Cockroach overpromises that he's made a teleportation machine. Instead he's made a short wormhole and tries to pass it off as the real thing.

Request examples:

!req Monsters vs. Aliens 1x11 [02:32]
!req Monsters vs. Aliens 1x11 [Monsters vs. Aliens 1x11]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Monsters vs. Aliens 1x11 [10-11]; !req Monsters vs. Aliens 1x11 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. - Monsters, aliens,

2. How would you rate today's mission performance?

3. - Let's see.

4. Meteor storm hit egypt. We knocked them away.

5. - Alien technology diverted 34 incoming meteors,

6. Far more than team ook-ook, me punch-punch.

7. - We changed our team name?

8. But I just wrote the fight song.

9. You love it.

10. - Frankly, I'm more concerned about the 160 meteors

11. That hit before we showed up.

12. This unit protects the entire planet.

13. We've got to be able to get anywhere on earth

14. Before the sphinx takes a space rock to the kisser.

15. Gentlemen, lady, assorted etceteras,

16. We need a faster way to get from "a" to "b."

17. Ideas. Go!

18. - Well, I have been working on a day-old donut fuel source that—

19. - Would this be helpful?

20. I've been tinkering with a terrestrial version

21. Of the solar sail concept

22. Using jet stream convection.

23. - Hmm, give it to me in "fast."

24. - Roughly ten times the speed of your hypersonic engines.

25. - Oh, my, that is fast.

26. - I also have plans for a flatulent dirigible.

27. - Plus, we could paint flames on the sides.

28. That would be cool, right?

29. - Hot rod almighty, that is a fine idea.

30. Teleportation!

31. I have a teleportation machine.

32. - Really?

33. doubtful.

34. - Instantaneous matter transfer to any point on earth?

35. Everybody knows that's impossible.

36. - Child, I specialize in the impossible.

37. - Outstanding, team monster.

38. - Oh, yeah! - Go, cockroach!

39. - I am so lost right now.

40. - So which one is the teleportation machine?

41. - I don't have one.

42. I'm a big, fraudulent liar.

43. I just couldn't stand looking like a fool

44. In front of that insufferable sqweep child.

45. - Right.

46. Better to look like a bigger fool

47. In front of everybody.

48. That'll show the kid.

49. - Come on, you've got a whole mad scientist lab here.

50. Why couldn't you just whip up a teleportation machine?

51. - You think I haven't tried?

52. I gave up after the hamster incident.

53. - You have a hamster?

54. - Most of it.

55. - Okay, but this time you've got

56. All of team monster behind you.

57. - Are any of you versed in trans-spatial particle dynamics?

58. - Whoo! Let's do this.

59. Yes!

60. - Oh, it's green!

61. Green is good, right?

62. - Always, baby.

63. - Did that just—

64. Success.

65. - High-five the doc-roach.

66. - Where did you teleport him to?

67. - Hey, guys, check it out.

68. There's a green space ring over here too.

69. I wonder where this one goes.

70. And there's one over here too?

71. - Confused? - Yep.

72. - Good.

73. I think that's the smart response.

74. - This isn't teleportation.

75. All I've done is open up a pathetic 20-foot wormhole.

76. - And there's probably a difference, right?

77. - Real teleportation could send us anywhere in the world,

78. Perhaps even the galaxy,

79. Whereas this puny thing just goes 20 feet that way.

80. - Uhh!

81. - Okay, yeah, that's kind of useless.

82. - And, interesting side note, it's also lactose intolerant.

83. - So your wormhole can't handle dairy.

84. - Wow, there is so much

85. I do not get about mad science.

86. - I should get some rest.

87. There's a lively morning of public shaming ahead of me.

88. - You know what, doc?

89. I can work with this.

90. - Really? That's great.

91. Oh, it's one of those ideas.

92. - Tell me why we couldn't just do this demo

93. Inside the base.

94. - Uh, teleportation works best in the open air.

95. It's something to do with the, uh—

96. The follicules.

97. - Yeah.

98. - That's— there's no such—

99. General, he's talking nonsense.

100. - Let's see some sweet teleporting.

101. - Assembled very important persons—

102. - Boo.

103. Boo!

104. - And also coverton—

105. Behold, the wonders

106. Of teleportation.

107. Teleportation.

108. - Ahh?

109. - Whoa, nelly!

110. - With this machine, I can send man or monster

111. To any spot on earth

112. And have him return with a local souvenir to prove it.

113. - Teleportation target?

114. Belgium.

115. - Hoo-ah!

116. Little something from belgium.

117. Belgium.

118. Perfecto.

119. - Ladies and gentlemen,

120. Genuine belgian waffles.

121. - This seems highly dubious.

122. - Um, what if I don't want to go to belgium?

123. Perhaps I think waffles are stupid.

124. - Ah, calibrating for...

125. Mexico.

126. - Whoo-hoo.

127. Authentic microwave taquitos.

128. Es super picante.

129. Tss.

130. - Whoa.

131. - Ooh, now do kyrgyzstan.

132. What?

133. It's my favorite central asian republic.

134. - Mm...

135. - It's clearly a hoax, but how are they—

136. - Ow.

137. Stupid rock.

138. Ow!

139. - Of course.

140. An epsilon-class short-range wormhole.

141. But everyone knows the epsilon class

142. Is extremely lactose intolerant.

143. - Oh, is it?

144. - Why are you laughing like that?

145. Ohh.

146. We are being devious.

147. - Kyrgyzstan: World famous for its—

148. Air fresheners.

149. - yay!

150. - Great!

151. Well, I think that wraps up—

152. - I request wisconsin.

153. One can never tell what evil

154. May strike america's dairyland.

155. - The little devil knows.

156. - Stay cool.

157. Your wormhole can manage one little carton of...

158. Ta-dairy.

159. - Hmm, lactose intolerant checkmate.

160. - Monsters, did my teleportation machine just gurgle?

161. - Minor side effect.

162. The important thing is that teleportation

163. Is far superior to anything sqweep could invent.

164. Thank you. You've been a lovely audience.

165. - How about something from France?

166. Say, cheese?

167. - Cheese!

168. Take the picture.

169. - Never back down, doc.

170. - Link, wait.

171. - Fromage.

172. Wait, there's lactose in cheese?

173. - Enough!

174. - Its follicules?

175. - I know what catastrophe sounds like:

176. That. Shut it down.

177. - Yes, general.

178. - But this was just getting fun.

179. - Coverton, no.

180. Ahh!

181. - Turn it off, dr. C!

182. - I'm trying! It won't respond.

183. - Their fault.

184. Everyone saw it.

185. I had nothing to do with—

186. - Hang on. Let me pummel the problem.

187. - Whoa!

188. Whee!

189. - It's expanding exponentially.

190. Completely self-powered.

191. - Wait, what does that mean?

192. - It means it won't stop growing

193. Until it rips the planet apart.

194. - You! Smart one.

195. I was talking to the one who did not make a suck-hole

196. That's gonna eat my planet!

197. Little alien, I order you to plug this thing.

198. - I don't know how to.

199. There's no protocol.

200. - It's all on you, doc.

201. You can do this.

202. - I assure you, it's impossible.

203. - Child, I specialize in the impossible.

204. Susan, this device will require you

205. To activate your ginormica powers on my command.

206. - Really?

207. - Ahh!

208. - No time to explain.

209. Ready? Now.

210. - Oof.

211. - The wormhole may need a few hours

212. To digest all that lactose.

213. Till then, clog away, susan.

214. - This was your plan?

215. - Outstanding work, doctor.

216. - Outstanding?

217. It was a complete failure.

218. He was supposed to be solving

219. A transportation problem.

220. - Hands up if you saved the earth today.

221. Mouth closed if you didn't.

222. - I am but a humble idea man.

223. Truly, it was susan's ginormic bum

224. That saved the planet.

225. - You are not writing that in the report.