1. Are you mad at me?Copy !req
2. You're mad at me.Copy !req
3. I'm a detective.
I can tell.Copy !req
4. I didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
5. You didn't do anything!
That's the problem!Copy !req
6. You didn't say
a single word all night.Copy !req
7. I don't understand.
Why did you want to come?Copy !req
8. You begged me
to invite you!Copy !req
9. I didn't want to be alone. You
were going to be gone all weekend.Copy !req
10. It's
embarrassing.Copy !req
11. Those people
are my oldest friends.Copy !req
12. Everybody thought you
were sick or something.Copy !req
13. You just walked around,
rearranging spoons and platesCopy !req
14. and sweeping up crumbs. I mean,
couldn't you have at least tried?Copy !req
15. I tried. I smiled.
I smiled a lot!Copy !req
16. You were wincing!Copy !req
17. That's my smile.
That's how I smile.Copy !req
18. I'm just not
a people person.Copy !req
19. What does that mean? What does
that mean, you're not human?Copy !req
20. Actually, you know what?
That would explain a lot.Copy !req
21. It wouldn't explain everything,
but it would explain a lot.Copy !req
22. Did you hear that?
That can't be good.Copy !req
23. Why are we
in this car?Copy !req
24. I told you. Julie
borrowed my car.Copy !req
25. She's moving
some furniture.Copy !req
26. We are in the wrong car.Copy !req
27. This is the wrong car!
Well, it's too late now!Copy !req
28. It's not
the radiator hose.Copy !req
29. What about that?Copy !req
30. That's the radiator hose.
It's not that.Copy !req
31. It's not the battery.
It's not the alternator.Copy !req
32. What about that? That's
the radiator hose, Mr. Monk.Copy !req
33. You keep pointing
to the same thing.Copy !req
34. Here. Call for help.Copy !req
35. It says "no signal. "Copy !req
36. Well then,
go try over there.Copy !req
37. Ow!Copy !req
38. It's a jungle out thereCopy !req
39. Disorder and confusion
everywhereCopy !req
40. No one seems to careCopy !req
41. Well, I doCopy !req
42. Hey, who's in charge here?Copy !req
43. It's a jungle out thereCopy !req
44. Poison in the very air
we breatheCopy !req
45. You know what's in the water
that you drink?Copy !req
46. Well, I doCopy !req
47. It's amazingCopy !req
48. People think I'm crazyCopy !req
49. 'cause I worry
all the timeCopy !req
50. If you paid attention,
you'd be worried, tooCopy !req
51. You better pay attentionCopy !req
52. Or this world
we love so muchCopy !req
53. might just kill youCopy !req
54. I could be wrong nowCopy !req
55. But I don't think soCopy !req
56. 'Cause there's
a jungle out thereCopy !req
57. It's a jungle out thereCopy !req
58. Well, for starters,
you got a blown solenoid.Copy !req
59. That's just
for starters.Copy !req
60. Mr. Monk, everybody needs
their eyes checked.Copy !req
61. Look, stop saying that.
I don't need glasses.Copy !req
62. I definitely saw something.
It was some kind of aircraft.Copy !req
63. I'm sure you did, Mr. Monk. I
mean, at least, you think you did.Copy !req
64. Well, it knocked out one, two,
three routing switches.Copy !req
65. Fried some wiring. It's gonna
run you 300, parts and labor.Copy !req
66. Oh, my God. Well,
when will it be ready?Copy !req
67. Tomorrow,
if you're lucky.Copy !req
68. Excuse me. Is there an
Air Force base around here?Copy !req
69. An Air Force base?Copy !req
70. Can't say there is,
because there ain't.Copy !req
71. Weather station?Copy !req
72. No. We got a new putt-putt
course out on Highway 9.Copy !req
73. You're probably wondering
why I'm asking.Copy !req
74. Not particularly.Copy !req
75. I, uh, I saw something
in the sky, last night.Copy !req
76. Uh, some kind of
a hovering thing...Copy !req
77. A hovering thing?
Like a flying saucer?Copy !req
78. Not a saucer, no.Copy !req
79. Okay, yes. Yes, it was sort of
saucer-shaped. I know that sounds crazy.Copy !req
80. Not to me.
I saw a ghost once.Copy !req
81. Okay!Copy !req
82. What?Copy !req
83. Not the same thing.Copy !req
84. I saw a ghost. It was
in my stepfather's barn.Copy !req
85. Right, right, right.Copy !req
86. What you saw was real,
but I didn't see a ghost?Copy !req
87. There's a difference.
I'm not you. I...Copy !req
88. I make
my living up here,Copy !req
89. see, with my head.Copy !req
90. You're calling me stupid.
No.Copy !req
91. No.
That's not what he meant.Copy !req
92. Well, maybe I'm not smart
enough to fix your car.Copy !req
93. No. No, no, no, no.
Sir... Sir! Sir! Mr...Copy !req
94. Mr... Boom.Copy !req
95. What my friend
meant to say...Copy !req
96. No, no, no.
You can fix the car.Copy !req
97. You're car smart.Copy !req
98. I'm car smart?
Is that what you just said?Copy !req
99. I don't remember.Copy !req
100. Okay, you know what? Here's
my new estimate. $800.Copy !req
101. You just said 300!Copy !req
102. Well, I must have added the
numbers wrong. I was confused.Copy !req
103. You see, I'm not
really smart, up here!Copy !req
104. I'll go write it up.Copy !req
105. Apologize.
Okay, I'm sorry.Copy !req
106. Not to me!
To the guy!Copy !req
107. What for? You called him stupid!Copy !req
108. Well...Copy !req
109. You can't say things
like that, Mr. Monk.Copy !req
110. You know, he's a human
being. He has feelings.Copy !req
111. Do you have no empathy
at all for other people?Copy !req
112. Put yourself
in his place.Copy !req
113. You know?
Lmagine being him.Copy !req
114. Okay. I'm him.Copy !req
115. I gotta go take a shower,
and finish high school.Copy !req
116. Sorry.
Yeah.Copy !req
117. Yeah, me, too.Copy !req
118. We don't accept checks.Copy !req
119. Stottlemeyer.
Captain?Copy !req
120. Hey. It's Natalie.
Hey.Copy !req
121. Uh, I don't think we're gonna be
making that training seminar today.Copy !req
122. Oh. That's all right.
We can reschedule it.Copy !req
123. What's going on?
You okay?Copy !req
124. Yeah, I think so.
You think so?Copy !req
125. Well, I'm in Nevada
with Mr. Monk.Copy !req
126. My car broke down. We're in
some town called Vintonville.Copy !req
127. Never heard of it.Copy !req
128. Yeah, I don't think
it's actually on any maps.Copy !req
129. What's wrong with the car?
I don't know.Copy !req
130. There's only one
mechanic in town.Copy !req
131. His name is Boom Boom,
and he already hates us.Copy !req
132. How's Monk holding up?Copy !req
133. Not so good.
He thinks he saw a UFO.Copy !req
134. Really?Copy !req
135. Maybe they're there to take
him home. Maybe that's his ride.Copy !req
136. That's what I said.Copy !req
137. Captain?Copy !req
138. That would explain
a lot, wouldn't it?Copy !req
139. I'm really
worried, Sheriff.Copy !req
140. I can see
that, Dolly.Copy !req
141. It's not like her.Copy !req
142. All her lights have been out for
four days. How do you explain that?Copy !req
143. We both know
what Marge is like.Copy !req
144. Remember, three years ago, she ran
off to Reno with the accordion player?Copy !req
145. Excuse me. Yeah, I'll be right with you.Copy !req
146. Unless it's
an emergency.Copy !req
147. No.
Good, good.Copy !req
148. 'Cause, frankly, I wouldn't
know what to do if it was.Copy !req
149. Well, why didn't she ask me
to bring in her mail?Copy !req
150. She always asks me
to bring in her mail.Copy !req
151. Because maybe she
left in a hurry.Copy !req
152. Maybe she got swept off her feet.
This is Marge we're talking about!Copy !req
153. Can't you go in
and look around?Copy !req
154. I don't have any cause, Dolly.
It's only been four days.Copy !req
155. Come on. I will bet you a slice
of your award-winning pecan pieCopy !req
156. that next week she shows up with a new
boyfriend, or a new tattoo, or both.Copy !req
157. It's gonna work itself out,
I promise. It always does.Copy !req
158. Everybody's business
is everybody else's business.Copy !req
159. That's why
we live here, I guess.Copy !req
160. So, how can
I help you, Mr., uh...Copy !req
161. Monk. Adrian Monk.Copy !req
162. Mr. Monk?Copy !req
163. I was at a wedding last night,
in Montville, with my assistant.Copy !req
164. And we were driving home
and the car broke down,Copy !req
165. it was about a mile
north of here.Copy !req
166. There was a bridge.
Yeah, the West Creek bridge.Copy !req
167. Well, I saw somethingCopy !req
168. Okay.
In the sky.Copy !req
169. Ah!Copy !req
170. Yeah, it was about 10:30.Copy !req
171. And it was all lit up. It was hovering
there, and it went zipping around.Copy !req
172. You saw a UFO?Copy !req
173. No. No. I didn't say that.Copy !req
174. Oh.Copy !req
175. So, uh...
Was it an object?Copy !req
176. Yes.Copy !req
177. Uh, could you identify it?Copy !req
178. No. No.
No. And it was flying?Copy !req
179. Yes. You add that all up, Mr. Monk,Copy !req
180. you've got yourself
a UFO.Copy !req
181. Okay, look.
All I'm asking is this,Copy !req
182. did anyone else
see anything last night?Copy !req
183. No, sir.
Nothing was reported.Copy !req
184. You know, the weather out here
can be a little bit tricky.Copy !req
185. Occasionally, we get something
called dry lightning...Copy !req
186. No, this wasn't lightning.
It was a vehicle.Copy !req
187. It was a flying thing.Copy !req
188. Okay.Copy !req
189. Where are you staying?Copy !req
190. We're at the Sleep Inn,
out on Route 4.Copy !req
191. Okay. Well, I will call
you if I hear anything.Copy !req
192. Thank you so much
for stopping by.Copy !req
193. Okay. Can I just say
one thing here?Copy !req
194. Umm... okay.Copy !req
195. I am not one of those,
you know, nuts.Copy !req
196. I'm a former detective. I work with
the San Francisco police quite a bit.Copy !req
197. In fact, you can call them...
That won't be necessary.Copy !req
198. I believe you saw
what you saw.Copy !req
199. Let me show you
something, Mr. Monk.Copy !req
200. These are the cases
that I have pending.Copy !req
201. I've got a rabid raccoon
on the loose,Copy !req
202. and I've got teenagers
knocking over some mailboxes.Copy !req
203. And now I've got Dolly, who thinks
that her neighbor's gone missing.Copy !req
204. And this is
a busy week for me.Copy !req
205. To tell you the truth,
I kind of hope you're right.Copy !req
206. I mean, a Martian invasion would be
quite a nice change of pace around here.Copy !req
207. Look there! What's that?
What's that over there?Copy !req
208. Mr. Monk,
it's a firefly.Copy !req
209. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
210. While I was at the library, I did
some research on U, you know, F...Copy !req
211. UFOs.
Right.Copy !req
212. And they said
it's usually swamp gas.Copy !req
213. Yeah,
you could be right.Copy !req
214. Except we're 3,000 miles
from the nearest swamp.Copy !req
215. No, I think I was just
tired and seeing things.Copy !req
216. Yeah. That's
what I think.Copy !req
217. Mr. Monk. Miss Teeger.Copy !req
218. I got your message about
your staying another night.Copy !req
219. Yeah. Is that okay?Copy !req
220. Sure. No problem.
Stay as long as you want.Copy !req
221. It's nice to have
the company.Copy !req
222. The truth is,
it's been pretty quiet.Copy !req
223. Is there a problem
with your room?Copy !req
224. I couldn't help noticing
all your cleaning supplies.Copy !req
225. Uh. No, no. It's fine.
Hotel's great.Copy !req
226. This is just a hobby.Copy !req
227. He only bought one bag. That's
like giving you a gold star.Copy !req
228. Natalie? Natalie.
Natalie! Natalie...Copy !req
229. Cheese and crackers! Do you see that?Copy !req
230. Are you nodding?
Yeah, I am.Copy !req
231. I bet they came from Andromeda,
from the first or second nebulae,Copy !req
232. which means they've been
traveling for 5,217 years.Copy !req
233. There are no inhabitable planets
in the Andromeda galaxy, Nimrod.Copy !req
234. Don't call him Nimrod.Copy !req
235. It's okay. It's my name. Oh.Copy !req
236. Hey, guys! Guys, you know, there
was a sighting here 65 years ago.Copy !req
237. The government said that it was a
weather balloon. A weather balloon? Right.Copy !req
238. Excuse me. Did you make the
video? The one on the Internet?Copy !req
239. That was me.
Where did you see it?Copy !req
240. Over there.
Right above that tree.Copy !req
241. Who are they? It's
the Internet, Mr. Monk.Copy !req
242. News like this
travels fast.Copy !req
243. Ah, the Internet people.Copy !req
244. Hi. Is this
the lobby?Copy !req
245. It's right over there.
What's going on here?Copy !req
246. Is there a loser
convention in town?Copy !req
247. Somebody saw
a flying saucer.Copy !req
248. A flying saucer?
I know.Copy !req
249. The image I saw was clearly a
class-four intergalactic doom freighter.Copy !req
250. A flying saucer!Copy !req
251. They're coming
for the oxygen.Copy !req
252. Have the negotiations
started yet?Copy !req
253. Uh, we haven't heard.Copy !req
254. I'm gonna call the garage
and see if the car's ready.Copy !req
255. Yeah. Dial fast.
Dial like the wind.Copy !req
256. Excuse me. The hotel clerk said
that you were the alpha contact.Copy !req
257. The alpha contact?
The first to see them.Copy !req
258. Did the saucer make any noise?
Were the lights blinking?Copy !req
259. And was it like a random
blinking, or was it more rhythmic?Copy !req
260. Were you probed?
Uh, no. No. No.Copy !req
261. Are you sure? Sometimes they probe
you and give you an amnesia pill.Copy !req
262. Yeah. I'd remember.Copy !req
263. Sometimes they give you
a frontal lobotomy.Copy !req
264. I'd still remember. Natalie! Yeah.Copy !req
265. Uh, pardon me, pardon me.Copy !req
266. The part's not in yet. I
think he's still mad at you.Copy !req
267. Call him again.
Call him back!Copy !req
268. It was just two minutes ago! Well,
offer him more money. Offer to marry him!Copy !req
269. They found
the landing site!Copy !req
270. Uh... Excuse me.
Don't touch that.Copy !req
271. That could be evidence.Copy !req
272. One, two, three,
four depressions.Copy !req
273. Maybe it's from
the landing gear.Copy !req
274. Holy moly! This one
actually might be real.Copy !req
275. A real one. Finally. I can't
wait to tell my stepdad.Copy !req
276. He's been laughing
at me for 20 years.Copy !req
277. Look at these burn marks.
They must be from the...Copy !req
278. From the... What do you
call it? The thrusters.Copy !req
279. Somebody should get
a picture of this.Copy !req
280. So? What do you think? I can't think!Copy !req
281. All these Internet people.Copy !req
282. We're going to fan out and
look for the rest of the fleet.Copy !req
283. Great idea. Fan out. Fan
way out. Way, way, way out.Copy !req
284. Well, there was
something here.Copy !req
285. I mean, something made
these impressions.Copy !req
286. It had to be last night,
it rained yesterday.Copy !req
287. Mr. Monk. Isn't it possible?
We both saw what we saw.Copy !req
288. No! No, it is not
possible.Copy !req
289. Of course it's possible.Copy !req
290. As Carl Sagan said,
"It's pure hubris to assumeCopy !req
291. "our tiny blue marble could contain the
only intelligent life in the galaxy. "Copy !req
292. The aliens have arrived.Copy !req
293. Or...
Or what?Copy !req
294. Or anything.
Any other explanation.Copy !req
295. It might have been some kind of
a prank. Maybe some college kids.Copy !req
296. Why would they
bother?Copy !req
297. I don't know.Copy !req
298. All I know is, it wasn't
from outer space. All right?Copy !req
299. Let's agree
to disagree, hmm?Copy !req
300. Let's agree to
not even do that.Copy !req
301. Wipe.Copy !req
302. What is he doing?Copy !req
303. He has a little germ thing.Copy !req
304. You afraid
of our germs?Copy !req
305. Not yours in particular. Anybody's.Copy !req
306. He's not sweating!
Yeah. I noticed that, too.Copy !req
307. How come
you're not sweating?Copy !req
308. I don't sweat. I...
It's a glandular thing.Copy !req
309. He was
the alpha contact.Copy !req
310. He was going like this!
What do you think it means?Copy !req
311. Probably it's
some kind of signal.Copy !req
312. No, it's not a signal.
It just helps me concentrate.Copy !req
313. Can we see
your belly button?Copy !req
314. No, you may not.Copy !req
315. What are you doing?Copy !req
316. We're showing you ours.
Now you show us yours.Copy !req
317. He has a belly
button, okay?Copy !req
318. I'm pretty sure.Copy !req
319. You're "pretty sure"?
But you've never seen it.Copy !req
320. He's not an alien.Copy !req
321. Are you sure about that?
A hundred percent?Copy !req
322. What do you want from us?
How often do you excrete?Copy !req
323. Oh...
See, our car's in the shop,Copy !req
324. Yeah. So... And we think it's ready.Copy !req
325. And I think they're calling. It
is ready. They're just calling...Copy !req
326. Another day?Copy !req
327. It's my distributor.
He sent me the wrong part.Copy !req
328. I guess he's even more stupid than I am.Copy !req
329. Now, here's the thing,
Bo Bo. It's "Boom Boom. "Copy !req
330. Boom Boom. Sorry. You know, we
really have to get back home,Copy !req
331. so we could pay extra if there's
any way we could expedite things.Copy !req
332. Well, let's see.
We'll give him a call.Copy !req
333. It's ringing.Copy !req
334. Charlie? It's your
old pal, Boom Boom.Copy !req
335. Okay, listen, Boom Boom.
About yesterday.Copy !req
336. I'm sorry I said
you were stupid out loud.Copy !req
337. You're not sorry
you thought it,Copy !req
338. you're just sorry
you said it?Copy !req
339. Hey, I'm not gonna apologize
for thinking...Copy !req
340. Don't... Don't say
anything else!Copy !req
341. I'm not...
Shh!Copy !req
342. We're gonna check back in with
you later, Boom Boom. Thank you.Copy !req
343. Over here!Copy !req
344. Not so loud.
You'll scare them away.Copy !req
345. I don't think so.Copy !req
346. I saw a movie once,
about an extraterrestrialCopy !req
347. who didn't know
he was an extraterrestrial.Copy !req
348. They rewired his brain
or something.Copy !req
349. Yeah, I don't watch movies.
They give me bad dreams.Copy !req
350. That's funny. In the movie, the
extraterrestrial had bad dreams.Copy !req
351. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
352. Nothing.Copy !req
353. Mr. Monk. You mentioned
you were a detective.Copy !req
354. I took the liberty of calling San
Francisco, spoke to Leland Stottlemeyer.Copy !req
355. He spoke very
highly of you.Copy !req
356. I wonder if you
could help us out.Copy !req
357. Edward Garcia, Adrian
Monk, Natalie Teeger.Copy !req
358. Dr. Garcia and I don't get
many cases like this,Copy !req
359. so we wanna be sure
that we got it right.Copy !req
360. Oh, God. Oh, no!Copy !req
361. Oh, the poor thing.Copy !req
362. The missing woman?Copy !req
363. I owe Dolly a big apology.Copy !req
364. This is, or was,
Marge Larkin.Copy !req
365. Where's her face?Copy !req
366. Coyotes, probably.Copy !req
367. She's been five days,
maybe six, in the sun.Copy !req
368. She was a hiker? Marge
was a lot of things.Copy !req
369. She came into a little bit of money
a few years ago when her parents died,Copy !req
370. and so she just dabbled,
in all kinds of things.Copy !req
371. Yoga, spelunking,
trout farming...Copy !req
372. And, apparently, hiking.Copy !req
373. Where's her face?Copy !req
374. We've already talked
about the face, okay?Copy !req
375. Where did they find her? A
couple of those UFO aficionadosCopy !req
376. found her in the foothills
about five miles west.Copy !req
377. Just a lucky break.Copy !req
378. They were all out there
looking for E.T.Copy !req
379. She could've been
out there forever.Copy !req
380. I figure she was hiking
along the ridge,Copy !req
381. fell somehow, hit her head
and died instantly.Copy !req
382. And, uh... And the coyotes
must have dragged the bodyCopy !req
383. about a mile, maybe two,
into the desert.Copy !req
384. Dr. Garcia has written "accidental
death" on the certificate,Copy !req
385. but I asked him
to write it in pencilCopy !req
386. because I wanted to get
a second opinion.Copy !req
387. Why? It's a very small town, Mr. Monk,Copy !req
388. and Marge Larkin was as close as
we have to an important person.Copy !req
389. So, like I said,
I wanted to get this right.Copy !req
390. Yeah, please.Copy !req
391. So, head trauma?
She fell face first.Copy !req
392. There's no defensive wounds.
No scratches.Copy !req
393. So she didn't put her
hands out when she fell.Copy !req
394. These clothes
appear to be new.Copy !req
395. And the sleeves are too short.Copy !req
396. And the treads on these boots,
they're not worn down at all.Copy !req
397. What was that?Copy !req
398. It's a silicone packet.Copy !req
399. They sometimes put them
in new boots.Copy !req
400. Well, she couldn't have been
hiking. Not with that in her shoe.Copy !req
401. Mmm-mmm.
What does it mean?Copy !req
402. It means that somebody
dressed her after she was dead.Copy !req
403. After she was murdered.Copy !req
404. Thank you again
for calling me.Copy !req
405. Of course we called you,
Kyle. You're her brother.Copy !req
406. Is there anybody else
we should notify?Copy !req
407. No. It was just
me and Marge.Copy !req
408. I can't believe she kept all
this junk. It's like a pawnshop.Copy !req
409. When was the last time
you were here?Copy !req
410. Six-and-a-half years ago.
My father's funeral.Copy !req
411. It's no secret, Marge
and I, we weren't close.Copy !req
412. Mmm-mmm.Copy !req
413. You...
You never spoke?Copy !req
414. Oh... Christmas, birthdays.
Families, you know, it's complicated.Copy !req
415. Excuse me, your plants are
dying. Do you mind if I...Copy !req
416. Sure. Thank you.
Marge loved these plants.Copy !req
417. She wasn't crazy about people,
but she loved her foliage.Copy !req
418. The last I heard, you
opened a shop in San Diego.Copy !req
419. Yeah! It was fun,
while it lasted.Copy !req
420. I, uh, filed Chapter 11 a year
ago. The whole mall went under.Copy !req
421. Do you need a deputy?
What is it?Copy !req
422. It's double-sided tape.Copy !req
423. There was a rug here.Copy !req
424. What is that?Copy !req
425. Hmm. It's from a shirt.Copy !req
426. A new shirt.Copy !req
427. I think she was killed
here, in this room.Copy !req
428. And then redressed.Copy !req
429. You really think someone
murdered my sister?Copy !req
430. Sheriff, I'd like to see
where they found the body.Copy !req
431. Do you hear that?
What the hell is that?Copy !req
432. They think Mr. Monk
is from outer space.Copy !req
433. He's not.Copy !req
434. Hey! Get off
the van, you freak!Copy !req
435. What's wrong with you?
My sister just died!Copy !req
436. There he is!
Where are you from?Copy !req
437. Uh, I was born
in Marin County...Copy !req
438. Really! He's not an alien!
He's just persnickety.Copy !req
439. What is love?
I don't know.Copy !req
440. What is the frequency?
Uh, yeah, I don't know.Copy !req
441. Really, he doesn't
know the frequency.Copy !req
442. Can we touch you? No! Don't touch
him! Earth germs are poison to him!Copy !req
443. Actually, that one's
kind of true.Copy !req
444. Please, Monk. We've been
waiting for so long.Copy !req
445. We just need some answers!
Please just stay back!Copy !req
446. We've got some Earth
business to take care of.Copy !req
447. Make him show you
his belly button!Copy !req
448. They found the body here,
against this rock.Copy !req
449. Coyote tracks heading west,
but they're gone now.Copy !req
450. Can they drag
a body that far?Copy !req
451. Oh, sure. I've seen them drag
a deer carcass seven miles.Copy !req
452. Shh. Listen.Copy !req
453. Somebody's here.Copy !req
454. I thought I saw
somebody following us.Copy !req
455. Must be one of your
UFO buddies.Copy !req
456. What the hell did you
say to them, anyway?Copy !req
457. Nothing! I was just minding my
own business, just being myself,Copy !req
458. then suddenly everybody
wants to know the frequency.Copy !req
459. Oh, for the love of God, Mr.
Monk, show them your belly button!Copy !req
460. Never!
Get down!Copy !req
461. Mr. Monk, get down! It's sandy.Copy !req
462. Well, just squat!
Squat!Copy !req
463. Stay down.Copy !req
464. Oh! God!
Oh, no!Copy !req
465. You're bleeding! That's
probably from the bullet.Copy !req
466. Oh, God. Oh, no.Copy !req
467. Wait, listen, listen.
I think he's leaving.Copy !req
468. Come in. This is Sheriff
Fletcher. Hello? Anybody?Copy !req
469. What about the cell? No signal.Copy !req
470. Well, at least he didn't kill
us. Are you sure about that?Copy !req
471. Let's review the situation, shall we?Copy !req
472. We're in the desert,
no car, no radio,Copy !req
473. and coyotes.Copy !req
474. Face-eating coyotes.Copy !req
475. And things that eat
the face-eating coyotes.Copy !req
476. And things that eat the things
that eat the... Yeah, we get it.Copy !req
477. He left us for dead.
So, what do we do?Copy !req
478. Well, I would very much
like to disappoint him.Copy !req
479. One of us is gonna
have to go get help.Copy !req
480. The highway's about
15 miles that way.Copy !req
481. All right.
Natalie and I will go.Copy !req
482. Mr. Monk, we can't leave
him. He's been shot!Copy !req
483. All right. Natalie and I will stay here.Copy !req
484. Mr. Monk,
he can't walk!Copy !req
485. Well, what do you suggest, Natalie?
Do you have any ideas at all?Copy !req
486. Yeah, you get help. I stay here
and take care of the Sheriff.Copy !req
487. Any ideas at all? Because if you
do, I'd really like to hear them.Copy !req
488. So no ideas.Copy !req
489. Not a one.Copy !req
490. Are you okay?Copy !req
491. Just keep going, Mr. Monk.
You can do it.Copy !req
492. What are you doing? That's the
only water you have! Don't waste it!Copy !req
493. They're all sandy.Copy !req
494. No, Mr. Monk, save
the water! Just go! Go!Copy !req
495. That's better.Copy !req
496. Here's what happened.Copy !req
497. Who are you talking to?Copy !req
498. Who are you talking to?Copy !req
499. It's evidence.
Let's take it with us.Copy !req
500. I usually have
some candy in here.Copy !req
501. Oh, here they are.
I have some breath mints.Copy !req
502. Is that a hint?Copy !req
503. I'm going to ask you if that
was a coyote, and you say, "No. "Copy !req
504. Was that a coyote?Copy !req
505. No.Copy !req
506. Really, was it a coyote?Copy !req
507. Yeah.Copy !req
508. I'm sweating.Copy !req
509. Look! I'm sweating, okay?Copy !req
510. I'm human.Copy !req
511. Not particularly
proud of it, but...Copy !req
512. I'm human, okay?Copy !req
513. Well, this is it.Copy !req
514. This is where it ends.Copy !req
515. This is it.Copy !req
516. Surrounded by dirt.Copy !req
517. Covered in dirt!Copy !req
518. You win, dirt!
Congratulations, dirt!Copy !req
519. Well played.Copy !req
520. Natalie, you were right.Copy !req
521. You called it.
I'm dying alone.Copy !req
522. I don't want to die alone.Copy !req
523. I want people.Copy !req
524. People!Copy !req
525. There. I said it.Copy !req
526. I like people.
Give me a chance!Copy !req
527. Just give me one more chance.Copy !req
528. I'll be nice. I'll be...
I'll be good. I'll be...Copy !req
529. I'll be empathetic.Copy !req
530. I'll be
the Empathetic Detective.Copy !req
531. Just...Copy !req
532. Just send me some people!Copy !req
533. Please.Copy !req
534. I need people.Copy !req
535. People!Copy !req
536. People!Copy !req
537. People.Copy !req
538. There he is!Copy !req
539. It's Monk!
Not these people.Copy !req
540. Doctor, Doctor,
I think he's awake.Copy !req
541. Mr. Monk?Copy !req
542. What did he say?Copy !req
543. "Floss. "Copy !req
544. Floss?Copy !req
545. He means his teeth.Copy !req
546. Mr. Monk, you flossed your
teeth last night in the hospital,Copy !req
547. for about three hours.Copy !req
548. Then you took
a four-hour shower.Copy !req
549. I don't think there's any hot
water left in the whole state.Copy !req
550. Let's try this again. Adrian, when they
found you, you were carrying this bag.Copy !req
551. You wouldn't let go of it.
I think it's important.Copy !req
552. I'm looking at batteries,
engine lubricant, eyeglass wipes.Copy !req
553. I know what happened.Copy !req
554. You mean about the UFO,
or about Marge's murder?Copy !req
555. Both. It's all
connected.Copy !req
556. The eyeglass wipes.
They're Kyle Larkin's.Copy !req
557. He killed his sister.Copy !req
558. For the money,
of course.Copy !req
559. He put her
in a hiking outfitCopy !req
560. and dumped her body
in the desert.Copy !req
561. It would look
like an accident.Copy !req
562. Like she was out hiking,
lost her footing, and fell.Copy !req
563. As soon as anybody found
the body, he'd be rich.Copy !req
564. He went home and
waited for the callCopy !req
565. that his sister's body
had been discovered.Copy !req
566. But something was wrong.
The call never came.Copy !req
567. He realized that coyotes
must have dragged it away.Copy !req
568. Without the body, he
couldn't prove she was dead.Copy !req
569. He had to find it.
But how?Copy !req
570. You said Kyle
owned a store.Copy !req
571. I could make out some of the
lettering on the door of his van.Copy !req
572. It said,
"Models and Hobbies. "Copy !req
573. That's right. He sold kits
for model trains.Copy !req
574. And airplanes.Copy !req
575. And airplanes.Copy !req
576. More.Copy !req
577. He needed somebody else to
find that body. Anybody else.Copy !req
578. So, he built a UFO.Copy !req
579. It was just a
remote-control model.Copy !req
580. Then he made what looked
like a landing site.Copy !req
581. He knew somebody would see
it, and the news would spread.Copy !req
582. He knew the Internet
people would come.Copy !req
583. They believe anything.Copy !req
584. So basically, he was putting
together a search party.Copy !req
585. He just needed people out there,
looking around in the desert,Copy !req
586. and he knew someone would
eventually find his sister.Copy !req
587. It's been an honor
to watch you guys work.Copy !req
588. Mr. Monk, Miss Teeger. I am
going to be forever gratefulCopy !req
589. that your vehicle broke down
in my neck of the woods.Copy !req
590. But if you will excuse me, I have
a suspect I need to go arrest.Copy !req
591. Ah! Your fan club's here.Copy !req
592. They're going to be mighty
disappointed that none of this was real.Copy !req
593. I'll tell them. Let me... Let me
talk to them. I'll let them down easy.Copy !req
594. Okay.Copy !req
595. Okay, Natalie.
Watch this.Copy !req
596. Hello, again. Hello.
Hello again.Copy !req
597. I have some good news!Copy !req
598. The object we saw was not
a UFO, it was just a toy.Copy !req
599. A remote-control model,Copy !req
600. designed by a man
who murdered his sister.Copy !req
601. You'll read all about it
tomorrow in the newspaper.Copy !req
602. So you can all go now.
Please, go home.Copy !req
603. Go. Please.
Stop wasting your time.Copy !req
604. Live life.Copy !req
605. Find, you know, employment
and fall in love.Copy !req
606. You're human, all right?Copy !req
607. It's a gift. It's a precious,
precious thing,Copy !req
608. and you wanna
appreciate it.Copy !req
609. Okay, thank you.Copy !req
610. Wow! Mr. Monk, good
for you! That was great!Copy !req
611. You were sensitive
and respectful.Copy !req
612. That was the nicest thing
I've ever seen...Copy !req
613. "Anyone"?
Not anyone, but you.Copy !req
614. Nicest thing I've ever
seen you do.Copy !req
615. It's a cover-up.Copy !req
616. Is there a problem?Copy !req
617. You're not
fooling anyone.Copy !req
618. Excuse me? Yeah, we don't
believe a word of that.Copy !req
619. That was no model! I mean,
it's obviously a cover-up.Copy !req
620. You're just trying
to manipulate us!Copy !req
621. Yeah, we want the truth!Copy !req
622. Okay.Copy !req
623. Okay.Copy !req
624. Earth people of the Net!Copy !req
625. You were right. I am notCopy !req
626. human.Copy !req
627. I traveled here to your...Copy !req
628. How do you say?Copy !req
629. "planet"Copy !req
630. on a class-four
intergalactic doom freighter.Copy !req
631. I knew it!Copy !req
632. I was sent to, you know,Copy !req
633. prepare the way,Copy !req
634. and to observe things,Copy !req
635. and probe things,Copy !req
636. and do alienCopy !req
637. things to everyone.Copy !req
638. Hello!
Hello!Copy !req
639. You're in the paper today. Kyle
Larkin confessed to killing his sister.Copy !req
640. He confessed to everything. I
guess he didn't have any choice,Copy !req
641. after all that evidence
they found in his van.Copy !req
642. What about the Tin Foil Brigade?
Are they still out front?Copy !req
643. Just a few.
Most of them went home.Copy !req
644. Need some help?
No, I'm fine.Copy !req
645. No, just cleaning. I haven't
dusted up here for two or three...Copy !req
646. Hours?Copy !req
647. What are you doing?
Nothing.Copy !req
648. You're trying to look
inside my shirt?Copy !req
649. No! No.Copy !req
650. Oh, my God! You don't think
I have a belly button!Copy !req
651. No!Copy !req
652. No!Copy !req
653. It's just that ever since we got
back, I've been having crazy dreams.Copy !req
654. About me, Natalie?Copy !req
655. I'm not from
outer space.Copy !req
656. I know!
I'm sure you're not.Copy !req
657. Can I see it?
No, you may not!Copy !req
658. Honestly.Copy !req
659. I am as human as
anything in this room.Copy !req
660. See? Right there. Right there! When you
say things like that, it doesn't make sense!Copy !req
661. Anybody would be curious.Copy !req
662. Just a peek. Just a peek!
No! Get away from me!Copy !req
663. Come on, come on, come on...
No!Copy !req
664. Why not? Because
it's an outie?Copy !req
665. Come on, Mr. Monk, you can't
stay in there forever.Copy !req
666. Leave me alone!Copy !req
667. Mr. Monk,
come on!Copy !req
668. Leave me alone, or I will
destroy your whole planet.Copy !req
669. Mr. Monk! Come on!Copy !req
670. Little peek.Copy !req
671. Little one. Come on.Copy !req
672. Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0Copy !req