1. Kids, breakfast!Copy !req
2. Kids?
Phil, would you get them?Copy !req
3. Yeah. Just a sec.Copy !req
4. Kids!Copy !req
5. That is-
Okay.Copy !req
6. Kids? Get down here!Copy !req
7. Why are you guys yelling at us
when we're way upstairs?Copy !req
8. Just text me.
All right.
That's not gonna happen.Copy !req
9. And, wow! You're not
wearing that outfit.Copy !req
10. What's wrong with it?
Honey, do you have anything
to say to your daughter...Copy !req
11. about her skirt?
Sorry.Copy !req
12. - Oh, yeah. That looks
really cute, sweetheart.
- Thanks.Copy !req
13. No. It's way too short.
People know you're a girl.
You don't need to prove it to them.Copy !req
14. Luke got his head stuck
in the banister again.Copy !req
15. I got it.
Where's the baby oil?Copy !req
16. It's on our bedside tab-
I don't know. Find it.Copy !req
17. Come on!Copy !req
18. I was out of control
growing up.Copy !req
19. There, you know? I said it.Copy !req
20. I-I just don't want my kids...Copy !req
21. to make the same bad mistakes
I made.Copy !req
22. I-If Haley never wakes up on
a beach in Florida, half-naked,Copy !req
23. I've done my job.Copy !req
24. Our job.
Right.Copy !req
25. I've done our job.Copy !req
26. ¡Vamos, Manny!
Kick it! Kick it!Copy !req
27. Don't let him-
Kick it!Copy !req
28. Manny, go!
¡A la derecha! ¡A la derecha!Copy !req
29. No! No, no.Copy !req
30. - He tripped him, Jay.
Where's the penalty?Copy !req
31. Gloria, they're 0 and 6.
Let's take it down a notch.Copy !req
32. We're very different.Copy !req
33. Jay's from the city.Copy !req
34. He has a big business.Copy !req
35. I come from a small village.Copy !req
36. Very poor but very,
very beautiful.Copy !req
37. It's the number one village
in all Colombia for all the-Copy !req
38. What's the word?Copy !req
39. Murders.
Yes. The murders.Copy !req
40. Manny, stop him!Copy !req
41. Stop him!
You can do it!Copy !req
42. Damn it, Manny!Copy !req
43. Come on, Coach.
You gotta take that kid out.Copy !req
44. You wanna take him out?
How about I take you out?Copy !req
45. - Honey, honey.
- Why don't you
worry about your son?Copy !req
46. He spent the first half
with his hand in his pants!Copy !req
47. I've wanted to tell her off
for the last six weeks.Copy !req
48. I'm Josh.
Ryan's dad.Copy !req
49. Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett.
Manny's mother.Copy !req
50. - Oh, and this must be your dad.
- Her dad?Copy !req
51. Yeah.
No, no. That's funny.Copy !req
52. Actually, no,
I'm her husband.Copy !req
53. Don't be fooled by the, uh-Copy !req
54. Give me a second here.Copy !req
55. Who is a good girl?
Who's that?Copy !req
56. Who's that?Copy !req
57. - Oh, she's adorable.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
58. Hi, precious.
Hello.Copy !req
59. Hi. Hi.Copy !req
60. Uh, we just, uh-
We just adopted her
from Vietnam.Copy !req
61. And we're bringing her home
for the first time, huh?Copy !req
62. She's an angel.
You and your wife
must be thrilled.Copy !req
63. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Daddy needed snacks.Copy !req
64. Hi.Copy !req
65. So, what are we talking about?Copy !req
66. Uh, we have been together for-Copy !req
67. guh, five-
five years now?Copy !req
68. And, uh, we just-
we decided we really
wanted to have a baby.Copy !req
69. So, we had initially asked
one of our lesbian friends
to be a surrogate, but-Copy !req
70. Then we figured,
they're already mean enough.Copy !req
71. Can you imagine
one of 'em pregnant?
Pregnant, no.Copy !req
72. No, thank you. Ick.Copy !req
73. You saw that, right?
Everybody fawning over Lily,Copy !req
74. and then you walk on
and suddenly it's all,Copy !req
75. "Ooh, SkyMall.Copy !req
76. I gotta buy
a motorized tie rack."Copy !req
77. All right, you know,
I'm gonna give the speech.
You are not giving the speech.Copy !req
78. You're gonna be
stuck with these people
for the next five hours.Copy !req
79. You're right, you're right.
Okay. I'm sorry.Copy !req
80. - Look at that baby
with those cream puffs.
- Okay. Excuse me.Copy !req
81. Excuse me.Copy !req
82. This baby would have grown up
in a crowded orphanage if it
wasn't for us "cream puffs."Copy !req
83. And you know what?
Note to all of you who judge-
Mitchell!Copy !req
84. - Hear this. Love knows
no race, creed-
- Mitchell.Copy !req
85. Or gender.Copy !req
86. And shame on you,
you small-minded, ignorant few-
Mitchell.Copy !req
87. Mitchell!
What?Copy !req
88. She's got
the cream puffs.Copy !req
89. Oh.Copy !req
90. We would like to pay
for everyone's headsets.Copy !req
91. Buddy. Why do you keep
getting stuck like this?Copy !req
92. I thought I could
get out this time.Copy !req
93. I'm just gonna say it.
He needs to be checked
by a specialist.Copy !req
94. Ow!
There. Be free.Copy !req
95. Excalibur.Copy !req
96. I'm having a friend over today.
Who?Copy !req
97. Uh, you don't know him.
Him? Him?Copy !req
98. Ooh, a boy.
You gonna kiss him?Copy !req
99. - Shut up.
- Easy. Easy.Copy !req
100. Yeah, shut up!
No, you shut up!Copy !req
101. - Luke, Alex, why don't you
take it outside, okay?
- And do what?Copy !req
102. Fight in the sun.
It'll be a nice change.
Haley.Copy !req
103. I'm kidding.
Who's the boy?Copy !req
104. His name is Dylan.Copy !req
105. I might as well tell him
not to come...Copy !req
106. because you guys
are just going to
embarrass me again.Copy !req
107. Sweetie, hang on a second.Copy !req
108. You're 15, and it's the first time
you've had a boy over.Copy !req
109. I'm bound to be a little surprised,
but I'm not gonna embarrass you.Copy !req
110. - I better charge the camcorder.Copy !req
111. I'm kidding. Come on.
Who are you talking to?Copy !req
112. I'm the cool dad.
That's- That's my thing.Copy !req
113. I'm hip.
I- I surf the Web.Copy !req
114. I text.
"LOL"- Laugh out loud.
"OMG"- Oh, my God.Copy !req
115. "WTF"- Why the face?Copy !req
116. Um, you know,
I know all the dances to
High School Musical, so-Copy !req
117. Mom! Dad!
What happened?Copy !req
118. Luke just shot me!
I didn't mean to.Copy !req
119. Are you okay?
No.Copy !req
120. - The little bitch shot me.Copy !req
121. - Language!
- They're only plastic BBs.
It was an accident.Copy !req
122. What did I tell you would happen
if you got him a gun?Copy !req
123. Deal with this.
Buddy, uncool.Copy !req
124. That's it? That's-
No, no, no, no.Copy !req
125. The agreement was
that if he shoots someone,
you shoot him.Copy !req
126. We were serious about that?
Yes, we were.Copy !req
127. And now you have to
follow through.Copy !req
128. I'm so sorry.
- Liar.Copy !req
129. Go.
He's got a birthday party.Copy !req
130. - What's more important here, Dad?
- You can shoot him afterwards.Copy !req
131. He'll be home at 2:00.
I can't shoot him at 2:00.
I'm showing a house at 2:00.Copy !req
132. - What about 3:00?
- No, he's got
a soccer game at 3:00.Copy !req
133. And then-
Oh, we gotta leave for
that dinner thing at 5:00.Copy !req
134. 4:15. You could
shoot him at 4:15.Copy !req
135. Yeah, I guess that works for me.
Oh!Copy !req
136. "Shoot Luke."
Sorry, dude.
It's on the calendar.Copy !req
137. Oh, come on!Copy !req
138. I'm quitting soccer.
It is a game for children.Copy !req
139. No, you're not quitting.Copy !req
140. You would have stopped that goal
if you weren't staring at that little girl.Copy !req
141. She is not a girl.
She's a woman.Copy !req
142. You know, Gloria,
that little blowup
with that other mom-Copy !req
143. Why do you have to
do things like that?Copy !req
144. If somebody says something about
my family, I'm going to-
I'm just saying.Copy !req
145. You could take it
down here a little bit.
That's all.Copy !req
146. Oh, yeah.
'Cause that's where
you live, down here.Copy !req
147. But I live up here!
Yeah, but you don't have to be
so emotional all the time.Copy !req
148. That's all I'm saying.
Manny, you're with me
on this, right?Copy !req
149. I wanna tell Brenda Feldman
I love her.
Oh, for God sakes.Copy !req
150. Manny, she's 16.
Oh. It's okay for you
to take an older lover?Copy !req
151. Hey, watch it.
I wanna go to the mall
where she works.Copy !req
152. But first I need to get
my white shirt, the silk one.Copy !req
153. Okay. If that's what
you really want to do.
Seriously.Copy !req
154. Not to be the evil stepdad,
but if you put on
a puffy white shirt...Copy !req
155. and declare your love
for a 16-year-old,Copy !req
156. you're gonna be swinging
from the flagpole in your
puffy white underpants.Copy !req
157. Stop the car.
Oh, where are you going?Copy !req
158. See? You hurt his feelings.
Ah- Well, if it toughens him
up a little bit then-Copy !req
159. Oh, geez.
He's picking flowers.Copy !req
160. Manny's very passionate,
just like his father.Copy !req
161. My first husband-
he's very handsome,
but too crazy.Copy !req
162. It seemed like all we did was
fight and make love, fight and
make love, fight and make love.Copy !req
163. One time, I'm not kidding you,
we fell out the window together.Copy !req
164. Which- Which one
were you doing?Copy !req
165. I'm hearing this
for the first time.Copy !req
166. This doesn't worry you?Copy !req
167. She barely slept on the plane
and she's still wide awake.Copy !req
168. - Oh, stop worrying.
- I can't.Copy !req
169. That- That orphanage
was all women.Copy !req
170. Maybe she just- she can't
fall asleep unless she feels
a woman's shape.Copy !req
171. I guess that's possible.
So here.Copy !req
172. What the hell
is that supposed to mean?Copy !req
173. Yes, I've gained
a few extra pounds while
we were expecting the baby,Copy !req
174. which has been
very difficult.Copy !req
175. But apparently your body does
a nesting, very maternal,
primal thing...Copy !req
176. where it retains nutrients-
some sort of
molecular physiology thing.Copy !req
177. But that's science.Copy !req
178. You can't-
You can't fight it, so-Copy !req
179. - I'm not saying anything.
- You're saying everything.Copy !req
180. Count to three.
One, two-Copy !req
181. Three.
Okay.Copy !req
182. Oh, Cam. This is beautiful.
Oh, my God.
Do you love it?Copy !req
183. Yes, I-Copy !req
184. What the hell is that?Copy !req
185. I had Andre do it
while we were gone.
Is that us, with wings?Copy !req
186. We're floating above her,
always there to protect her.Copy !req
187. Okay. Well, that's
reassuring, right, Lily?Copy !req
188. Yes, we tore you away from
everything you know, but don't
worry, things are normal here.Copy !req
189. Your fathers
are floating fairies.
No, can you call Andre,Copy !req
190. have him paint something
a little less gay?Copy !req
191. By the way, we need
to stop having friends
with names like Andre.Copy !req
192. Redheaded dad
is angry daddy.
No, I'm not.Copy !req
193. Yes, you are.
Even Pepper pointed it out on
the way home from the airport.Copy !req
194. Okay, that's another one-
Pepper.Copy !req
195. Okay, what's up?Copy !req
196. All right, look. I-Copy !req
197. I- I never told my family
we were adopting a baby.Copy !req
198. And-
I know.Copy !req
199. You do?
Yeah, and I don't blame you.
I know your family.Copy !req
200. You'd tell 'em. They'd say
something judgmental.Copy !req
201. Exactly.
You'd get mad.Copy !req
202. I know. And then something that's
supposed to be nothing but joyful...Copy !req
203. suddenly turns into this huge fight.Copy !req
204. And who wants a big,
emotional scene like that?
Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
205. I'm so-
I'm so relieved you understand.Copy !req
206. I invited them over
for dinner tonight.Copy !req
207. What?
I had to.Copy !req
208. This would have gone on forever.
You're an avoider.Copy !req
209. No. No. No.
Cam, I'm calling them
right now and canceling.Copy !req
210. No, you're not.
You're telling your family
you adopted a baby, tonight.Copy !req
211. And you do have
avoidance issues.
Even Longinus said so.Copy !req
212. Are- Are you really
not hearing these names?Copy !req
213. Don't answer it!
I'll get it!Copy !req
214. Hi.
Hey, you must be Dylan.Copy !req
215. Hey.
Dylan. Yeah.
I'm Haley's mother.Copy !req
216. Hey.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
217. Come on. Let's go.
Okay. Um-Copy !req
218. Hang on one second.
Um- Whoa.Copy !req
219. Dylan, you're still
in high school?Copy !req
220. Yeah, I'm a senior.
A senior.
Okay. Cool.Copy !req
221. Hey, Phil. Sweetie. Honey.
He is Dylan, and he is a senior.Copy !req
222. You have to scare him.Copy !req
223. Let me meet this "playa."Copy !req
224. Phil Dunphy, yo.Copy !req
225. It's like that. You just-
You just stare down at 'em,Copy !req
226. let the eyes do the work.Copy !req
227. Your mouth might be saying,
"Hey, we cool,"Copy !req
228. but your eyes are like,
"No, we not."Copy !req
229. "Nice to meet you."
"No, it's not."Copy !req
230. "It's all good."Copy !req
231. Yo.
Yo.Copy !req
232. Okay, I see you two guys-
Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
233. You two-Copy !req
234. You two keep it real,
know what I mean, son?Copy !req
235. Not really.Copy !req
236. Please, stop.
That's cool.Copy !req
237. Ow.
Oh, God! That's my back.
Oh, honey. Sweetheart.Copy !req
238. Ow! Oh!
I slipped in the baby oil.Copy !req
239. "Oh, where you from
originally?"Copy !req
240. "I could defeat you if it came to
a physical confrontation."Copy !req
241. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
I don't know about this.
Should I call a doctor?Copy !req
242. No, no, no, no, no.
Okay.Copy !req
243. You're very strong, homes.
Thanks.Copy !req
244. Okay. Nice-
Nice soft landing.
There you go.Copy !req
245. Okay.
I am on my side though.
Okay, let's go. Come on.Copy !req
246. So just flip me right back,
and we're good.Copy !req
247. We'll be good.Copy !req
248. I just need to get
flipped right on my back,
and we should be fine. So-Copy !req
249. Brenda Feldman.Copy !req
250. What is that?
A poem I have written
for Brenda Feldman.Copy !req
251. - Of course it is.
- I put my thoughts into words
and now my words into action.Copy !req
252. Hey, I'll give you 50 bucks
not to do this.Copy !req
253. I'm 11 years old.
What am I gonna do
with money?Copy !req
254. What are you gonna do
with a 16-year-old?Copy !req
255. He's like a bullfighter.
Mmm.
You ever see a bullfight?Copy !req
256. - I can't watch this.
- You're in such a bad mood.Copy !req
257. And I know why.
It's because that man
thought you were my father.Copy !req
258. No.
Yes.Copy !req
259. No.
When you say "No" like that,
it's always "Yes."Copy !req
260. Come on. We're in the mall.
Let's get you, like,
some younger clothes.Copy !req
261. There's a store there.
I don't need
any younger clothes.Copy !req
262. And I don't care what
some jackass in a pair
of ripped jeans thinks about me.Copy !req
263. Good. You shouldn't.Copy !req
264. You should only care
what I think.Copy !req
265. I love you,
and I don't care
how old you are.Copy !req
266. So stop being a gloomy goose
and stop being so hard on Manny.Copy !req
267. The only reason
I'm hard on Manny...Copy !req
268. is just because
I don't wanna see him
make a fool of himself.Copy !req
269. And I can smell that
hair goo of his from here.Copy !req
270. Look, I don't know what's gonna
happen to him over there.Copy !req
271. But you're his family now,
and that means only one thing-Copy !req
272. You be the wind in his back,
not the spit in his face.Copy !req
273. What?
It's something
my mom always says.Copy !req
274. It's gorgeous in Spanish.
Look, he's there.Copy !req
275. She has a boyfriend.
Oh, I'm sorry,
mi niño.Copy !req
276. I gave her my heart,Copy !req
277. she gave me a picture of me
as an old-time sheriff.Copy !req
278. Oh.Copy !req
279. That was pretty stupid of me,
wasn't it?
No, mi amor.Copy !req
280. It was brave.
Right, Jay? Brave.Copy !req
281. W-Well, you'll know better
next time.Copy !req
282. Come on.
Let's get a pretzel.Copy !req
283. Mentira.
A mí sí me gusta.Copy !req
284. Uh, excuse me, sir.
We ask that all mall-walkers
stay to the right.Copy !req
285. Alex, get out! Mom!Copy !req
286. Alex, leave your sister alone.Copy !req
287. I was just getting my book.
Gosh.Copy !req
288. I know, sweetie.
But you need to respect
their privacy.Copy !req
289. What are they
doing up there?
Nothing.Copy !req
290. Lying on her bed,
watching a movie.Copy !req
291. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
292. Um, I'm making a cake
for tonight. You wanna
help me with the frosting?Copy !req
293. Sure.Copy !req
294. So, you know,
if Haley got pregnant,Copy !req
295. would you ever pretend
she has mono for a few months,Copy !req
296. and then, like, tell everyone
the baby's yours?Copy !req
297. What?
This senior at school was
"out sick" for four months,Copy !req
298. but Jenna Resnick swears
she saw her breast-feeding
at a coin-op car wash.Copy !req
299. Buddy, what are you wearing?Copy !req
300. - Nothing.
- Uh-uh. No jacket.Copy !req
301. One hat.
How many pairs of underwear
do you have on?Copy !req
302. One.
Six.Copy !req
303. First of all,
it would be really cool
to see Haley that fat.Copy !req
304. And how awesome would it be
to have a fake little brother
who's really my nephew.Copy !req
305. Haley is not getting pregnant.Copy !req
306. Just saying "if."
I know.Copy !req
307. And I know you like to make
trouble for your sister, but
it's not gonna work this time.Copy !req
308. You know why?
'Cause your sister's a good girl.Copy !req
309. I know. I was just
like her when I was-Copy !req
310. I want you to know,
I'm not enjoying this.Copy !req
311. But this is an important lesson
that you're learning.Copy !req
312. So, soak it.
Keep it.Copy !req
313. You're too close.
It's gonna hurt.Copy !req
314. It's supposed to hurt.Copy !req
315. - And why are you smiling?
- I'm- What?Copy !req
316. Oh, forget it.
I can't do this.Copy !req
317. The point is you're scared.
I think you've learned
your lesson.Copy !req
318. Wow.Copy !req
319. Ow!Copy !req
320. Mom!
What are you doing?Copy !req
321. Oh, hey! I was just, um,
dropping off some laundry.Copy !req
322. - Is this a bad time?
- Yeah.Copy !req
323. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
324. Uh, can you
shut the door, please?Copy !req
325. Actually, we're just gonna
go ahead and leave that open.Copy !req
326. Why?Copy !req
327. Because I have, uh,
seen this little show before-Copy !req
328. lying on the bed
with a tall senior.Copy !req
329. One minute you're just friends,
watching Falcon Crest,Copy !req
330. and the next you're lying
underneath the air hockey table
with your bra in your pocket.Copy !req
331. Whoa.
Mom!Copy !req
332. You hit my bone!
- It was an accident!Copy !req
333. - I thought you were my friend!
- I am your friend.Copy !req
334. Dad! Dad, Dad.
You have got to talk to Mom.Copy !req
335. She is, like,
completely freaking out
and embarrassing me!Copy !req
336. Honey, your mom isn't always
as cool about things as-Copy !req
337. - Ow!Copy !req
338. What is with this thing?Copy !req
339. Ow!Copy !req
340. My dad. Uh, my dad still isn't
completely comfortable with this.Copy !req
341. Um- He-He still does this thing.
It's been five years now.Copy !req
342. And he still does this thing
where he announces himself...Copy !req
343. before walking into
any room we're in...Copy !req
344. just to make sure he doesn't
have to ever see us kiss.Copy !req
345. Wish my mother
had that system.Copy !req
346. Remember?
Not now.Copy !req
347. I still can't believe
you did this to me.Copy !req
348. Would you get
in the spirit of things?
It's a celebration.Copy !req
349. - Oh, God.
- Okay, I'm gonna go get Lily ready.Copy !req
350. Okay.
And I want you to just
come straight out with it.Copy !req
351. All right.
Okay. You can do this.Copy !req
352. Yeah.
Sports guy chest bump.Copy !req
353. No.
Sports guy chest bump.Copy !req
354. Cam. Oh!
All right. Go.
Do it. Go.Copy !req
355. Sorry.
Oh.Copy !req
356. Hey. Hi.
Hey.Copy !req
357. How are you?
Hi, guys.
Hey.Copy !req
358. That looks good.
Oh, thank you. Thanks.Copy !req
359. Don't thank us. Open it.
Dad is coming right behind.Copy !req
360. Knock, knock! We're here.
Coming in!Copy !req
361. Don't worry, Dad.
Nothing gay going on here.Copy !req
362. May I take your multicolored
coat and bejeweled cap?Copy !req
363. Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, Jay.Copy !req
364. Gloria, hi.
Hi.Copy !req
365. How are you?
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Gloria. How are you?Copy !req
366. Oh, what a beautiful dress.
Ay, thank you, Phil.Copy !req
367. Okay.
Oh, hey-
Phil.Copy !req
368. That's how she says "Phil."
Not "feel." Phil.
Oh.Copy !req
369. - So how was your trip?
- It was good.
It was good actually.Copy !req
370. But, um, about that, I-
I have something
that I need to tell you guys.Copy !req
371. Um- Uh, we didn't
just go to Vietnam
for pleasure.Copy !req
372. We, uh, kind of have
some big news.Copy !req
373. Oh, God.
If Cam comes out here
with boobs, I'm leaving.Copy !req
374. - Dad.
- I hope he didn't
embarrass you, Mom.Copy !req
375. Oh, don't mind her.
Haley had her first
boy over today...Copy !req
376. and Phil shot him.Copy !req
377. Anyway, um, so, about-
about a year ago,Copy !req
378. Cam and I started feeling
this longing, you know,Copy !req
379. for something more,
like, uh, maybe a baby?Copy !req
380. - Ooh, that's a bad idea.
- What do you mean, "bad idea"?Copy !req
381. Well, kids need a mother.
I mean if you two guys
are bored, get a dog.Copy !req
382. Okay, we're not bored, Dad.Copy !req
383. I support you, Mitchell,
even though you're not my son.Copy !req
384. I-I-I-I think what Dad
is trying to say...Copy !req
385. is that, Mitchell,
you're a little uptight.Copy !req
386. - Kids bring chaos, and-
and you don't handle it well.
- That's not what Dad's saying.Copy !req
387. That's what you're saying.
And it's insulting
in a whole different way.Copy !req
388. Okay, people.
Let's all "chillax."Copy !req
389. Hey, where's Uncle Cameron?
Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
390. Someone who's not insulting me
notices he's not here.Copy !req
391. Oh, so that's
the big announcement, huh?
You two broke up.Copy !req
392. Well- Well, a baby
wasn't gonna help that anyway.Copy !req
393. And let me tell you.
You're better off, because
he was a bit of a drama queen.Copy !req
394. No, no, no.
Stop. Stop. No.Copy !req
395. You come into my house
and you insult me and my boyfriend,Copy !req
396. who, by the way,
is not that dramatic-Copy !req
397. Her name is Lily.
Oh.Copy !req
398. Exciting!
Just turn it off.Copy !req
399. I can't turn it off.
It's who I am.Copy !req
400. The music.
Oh, yes, the music.Copy !req
401. Ay, miren a la princesita.
The little princess.
She's so cute!Copy !req
402. So cute.
Thank you.Copy !req
403. Let me see her. Let me see her.
Let me see her.Copy !req
404. Hi there, Lily.Copy !req
405. "Lily." Isn't that gonna be
hard for her to say?
So cute.Copy !req
406. Phil.
Excuse me.Copy !req
407. Okay, I-I-I know that I said
I thought this was a bad idea.Copy !req
408. But, uh, what do I know?Copy !req
409. I mean, it's not like
I wrote the book on fatherhood.Copy !req
410. Been trying all my life
to get it right.
I'm still screwing up.Copy !req
411. - Right, Manny?
- I wrote a song about it in the car.Copy !req
412. Of course you did. Uh-Copy !req
413. Anyway, I'm happy for you.
And, uh, you should know that, uh,Copy !req
414. I'm not here
to spit in your face,Copy !req
415. I'm here to...
blow at your back.Copy !req
416. I don't understand
what that means.
I don't-Copy !req
417. Well, it's- it's supposed to
sound better in Spanish.Copy !req
418. Voy a ser la brisa
en tu espalda, no quien
te escupa en la frente.Copy !req
419. Oh, that's beautiful.
That's really nice.Copy !req
420. And thank you too.Copy !req
421. Anyhow, Mitch, uh-Copy !req
422. - No, Dad, it's- it's-Copy !req
423. I got her.
I got her.
Oh, she's crying.Copy !req
424. She wants her grandpa!
She wants her daddy!Copy !req
425. Do you wanna meet Grandpa?
What? Are you kidding?Copy !req
426. She's one of us now.
Let me see the little pot sticker.Copy !req
427. Hey, you're a cutie,
aren't you?Copy !req
428. Ah. Look at this.Copy !req
429. We're from different worlds,
yet we somehow fit together.Copy !req
430. Love is what binds us,Copy !req
431. through fair or stormy weather.Copy !req
432. I stand before you now
with only one agenda-Copy !req
433. "To let you know
my heart is yours,Copy !req
434. Feldman comma Brenda."Copy !req
435. I mean, seriously.Copy !req
436. Luke, so far,
hasn't beaten me
in basketball.Copy !req
437. It's 2-0. 2-0.
Okay. Okay.Copy !req
438. Get that weak stuff
out of my kitchen!
Dad, stop it!Copy !req
439. Can you do me a favor?
Just grab-Copy !req
440. Ooh! How's the weather
down there?Copy !req
441. But when the day comes
that he does win-Copy !req
442. if- you know- if/when-Copy !req
443. he beats me,
I'm just gonna be like,Copy !req
444. "Well done. Well done."Copy !req
445. Just, like, let him-
Just support him...Copy !req
446. in- in- in that kind of stuff.Copy !req
447. I mean, I'd probably want to go,
like, two out of three and just
see what happens there, but-Copy !req