Mister Ed 1x19

1.

2. Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.

3.

4. Hey, come on, man.

5. Hi, you want to play ball with me?

6. Aw, it's the new kid in the block.

7. You want to play ball?

8. No, we don't want to play ball.

9. It's a brand new one.

10. It is, huh? Let me see.

11. Go and chase it.

12.

13. Eh, come on gang.

14. Stop here, Ed.

15. About time. I thought we never get home.

16. We're only out here for a little exercise, Ed.

17. We?

18. I've been running, you've been sitting.

19. Good old Ed.

20. Huh.

21. Let me have it.

22. Hi, Mr. Post. Hi, Mr. Ed.

23. Oh, hi, Andy. Hi, Johnny.

24. Make your horse do some tricks again, Mr. Post.

25. Tricks, all right. You tell him to do something.

26. Shake your head.

27. Shake your head, Mr. Ed.

28.

29. Swish your tail, Mr. Ed.

30. Swish your tail, Mr. Ed.

31.

32. Let's go play. Bye, Mr. Ed. Bye, Mr. Post.

33. Bye-bye.

34. [kids chattering}

35. Well, I better get you back to the barn.

36. Besides, I want to show Roger Addison

37. some new magic tricks I just got.

38. If you're a magician, lose some weight.

39. Hold it.

40. We both walk.

41. All right, you win.

42. How do you feel with that off, Ed?

43. Like Gypsy Rose Lee.

44. I got a kick out of those kids.

45. There is nothing like youth.

46. Yeah, I sure wish I was a colt again.

47. You have a happy childhood, Ed?

48. Oh, ho, ho, I was a crazy mixed up two year old.

49. My mom used to wait up all hours for me.

50. Yeah, what did you do?

51. Hung around the stables

52. watching all the fillies go by.

53. You had a ball, huh.

54. Yeah, I was a gay dog.

55. My diary would make a best-seller.

56. You made a hit with those kids today.

57. All but one.

58. Which one?

59. Some unhappy little guy standing behind a tree.

60. How did you know he was unhappy?

61. That sad expression.

62. He looked like an owl in short pants.

63. Mm How old did he look?

64. Oh, my age. About seven.

65. But built different, of course.

66. Yeah, I figured.

67. I think your imagining things, Ed.

68. I got to get to the house

69. and try a few new magic tricks on my neighbors.

70. I wouldn't, Wilbur. You're a terrible magician.

71. Oh, yeah?

72. Well, how would you like to see me saw a horse in half.

73. Huh? Uh, not this one.

74. Saw a horse in half.

75. Moving along to the more difficult of my illusions.

76. You will see, sir, that there is nothing in either hand.

77. Right?

78. Right.

79. And now pay close attention.

80. And with a few magic words,

81. told to me in secret by the thief of Baghdad,

82. I will produce a full bouquekçt of flowers from nowhere.

83. Agah... Moonie...

84. Mickey Rooney.

85. I'd say a phone call to Baghdad was in order.

86. Did I do something wrong?

87. You forgot to blind fold me.

88. Wilbur.

89. That's funny.

90. I planted geraniums.

91. For my next trick,

92. if I may have your attention ladies and gentlemen?

93. Honey, I'm expecting Margaret Birch soon.

94. Can you children play outside?

95. Margaret Birch?

96. Yes, she just moved in the neighborhood, remember?

97. The one with the little boy.

98. Oh, yes. Well, one more trick, honey.

99. Has Wilbur fooled you, yet, doll.

100. No one has ev-r fooled me.

101. No? Then how did you get married, sweet?

102. Now, if I may have your attention.

103. Ladies and gentlemen—

104. Oh.

105. Always happens with new cards.

106. And new magicians.

107. Please, honey. I don't want her to see the house like this.

108. Maestro, I have the feeling your show just closed.

109. Roger, grab the end of this table.

110. I'll show you a few tricks outside.

111. Wilbur, let's face it.

112. As a magician you're a great architect.

113. More words out of you, you'll be a rabbit in the morning.

114. - Come on, let's get out of here. - Watch it.

115.

116. Excuse me, Kay.

117. - Hi. - Hello, Carol.

118. Come on in.

119. Am I early?

120. No, not at all.

121. Kay, I like you to meet our new neighbor, Margaret Birch.

122. This is my dear friend, Kay Addison.

123. - I'm glad to meet you. - How do you do?

124. Certainly was nice you to ask me to join your club.

125. Oh, not really. We need the dues.

126. Please sit down, Margaret.

127. Thank you.

128. You're going to like the girls.

129. We're really a very congenital group.

130. Right, Kay?

131. Well, it keeps us off the streets.

132. How do you like our neighborhood?

133. Oh, I love it, but, uh—

134. But what?

135. Well, my son is having a little trouble making friends.

136. He's kind of shy.

137. Aw, how old is he?

138. Peter is eight and half.

139. Oh, don't worry. There a lot of kids his age in the neighborhood.

140. Yes, I know, but they— They just don't seem to want to play with him.

141. Margaret, would it help if maybe you gave a party

142. and invited all the kids in the neighborhood.

143. That's a wonderful idea.

144. Yes, it is. Do you think they'd come?

145. I know most of the mothers.

146. If you'd like, I'll help you round up the kids.

147. Oh, that's very sweet of you.

148. Maybe we could plan it for this Saturday?

149. Wonderful.

150. Maybe I could persuade Wilbur

151. to do some of his magic tricks for the kids.

152. Persuade?

153. He'll perform for anything

154. that walks, talks, or sits up and begs.

155. You shouldn't be touching that.

156. Oh, sorry, old man.

157. Well, I'm ready for your performance.

158. Well, I have trick here that's bound to amaze you.

159. This called the disappearing water trick.

160. See I fill this cup with water from this pitcher.

161. Eh.

162. You'll notice that I'm filling it up.

163. There we are.

164. Now, I have here, as you can see, an ordinary cup

165. and an ordinary pitcher.

166. And now, presto.

167. Oh.

168. That's the greatest trick I ever saw

169. and I'm suing you for a new suit.

170. Hey, you! What's the big idea?

171. If I ever get—

172. If I ever get my hands on that kid, I'll—

173. He won't be able to sit down for a week.

174. Thank you for a delightful performance.

175. No, really, really.

176. Thank you very much, but I couldn't impose.

177. Oh, you won't be imposing.

178. Why we just love to have him stay here.

179. Wouldn't we, Wilbur?

180. Course we would. Have who where?

181. Honey, you remember Margaret Birch?

182. - Yeah. - Yes, of course.

183. I'm doing magic for your little boy's party.

184. We're going to have the party here.

185. Margaret has to go out of town for the weekend.

186. Her sister just had a baby

187. and we're going to have little Peter stay here with us.

188. - You don't mind do you? - Oh, not all.

189. I'll be able to try out some of my new tricks on him

190. Just don't do your sprinkler trick, sweetie.

191. Addison isn't dry, yet.

192. Look that wasn't my fault, Kay.

193. Some fresh kid turned on the water.

194. Then it's all settled huh, Margaret?

195. Well, what can I say?

196. Gee, you're all so wonderful—

197. I'll have Peter over here Friday morning.

198. Will that be all right?

199. Any time at all.

200. So, well, I've heard so much about this young boy of yours.

201. I'm looking forward to meeting him.

202. Well, you don't have far to look, darling.

203. He's in the barn.

204. Oh, I'll go out and say hello.

205. - Excuse me. - Sure.

206. I saw you in the park, Mr. Ed.

207. But you didn't see me.

208. You're a nice horse.

209. At least you listen when I talk.

210. I don't care about that old party.

211. Most kids don't like me anyway.

212. And Mr. Post, when he finds out

213. I turned on that old sprinkler—

214. He wouldn't do his old magic anyway.

215. But it was an accident.

216. I was looking for my baseball.

217. You believe me don't you, Mr. Ed?

218. Peter, are you in there?

219. Peter, I see you hiding behind Ed.

220. Guess what, Peter?

221. You're going to have your party after all.

222. Right in our backyard.

223. You know something else?

224. While your mother is away, you're going to stay with us.

225. Aw, come here.

226. Let me go.

227. - Let me go. - Now, look, Pete.

228. I'm your friend, there's nothing to be frighten about.

229. Now, come on, son. Let me—

230. The sprinkler kid.

231. Pete, you come back here.

232. Peter.

233. Ah!

234. Wilbur.

235. I'll have lunch in a few minutes, dear.

236. He sure loves Ed.

237. Hmm.

238. You know, since his mother brought him here

239. that kid hasn't said a word to me.

240. Every time I go near him, he looks at me like I was a truant officer.

241. I hope you two become friends before tomorrow.

242. We will. Of course, I may have to grow

243. two more legs and a tail.

244. He's just still upset about that sprinkler innocent.

245. He's upset?

246. My suit is dragging, too, you know?

247. Honey, please try to talk to him.

248. Well, okay.

249. Course I may need to wear a raincoat.

250. Just call him in.

251. You call him.

252. He hears my voice, he may go into orbit.

253. Peter.

254. Peter, lunch.

255. Now try to gain his confidence.

256. And don't look so solemn. You'll really scare him

257. Smile.

258. Hello, Peter, how's it going, boy?

259. Lunch will be ready in a few minutes, honey.

260. Meanwhile, you two men get acquainted, huh?

261. Peter.

262. Pete.

263.

264. Peter, uh, about this sprinkler business.

265. I forgotten all about it.

266. Believe me.

267. You know, I used to do foolish things like that

268. when I was a little boy, too.

269. It was an accident.

270. Sure, sure it was an accident.

271. It was.

272. I hit my baseball in your yard.

273. Then I went to look for it.

274. My foot turned on your sprinkler.

275. Sure. Sure.

276. Now, can we be friends?

277. You don't believe me.

278. Look, Peter—

279. I can prove it.

280. I have my baseball in the bushes so you can see it.

281. Oh.

282. Well, let's go take a look, huh?

283. It's not there.

284. Peter, believe me. I'm willing to forget the whole thing.

285. I've seen it there before. I did.

286. Peter, I believe you.

287. No, you don't.

288. The kid told the truth.

289. Now, Ed, you're wrong.

290. You see you don't understand child psychology.

291. See, kids sometimes lie without meaning it.

292. They do something and then they get scared.

293. And then they exaggerate the facts a little.

294. Where did you get that baseball?

295. I signed up with the Dodgers.

296. Ed, did you find this under those bushes?

297. That's right.

298. I was afraid a dog might run off with it

299. and you'd never believe the kid.

300. Hello, Houdini.

301. Oh.

302. What are you going to do with that?

303. Turn it in a ping-pong ball.

304. Roger, you know we're throwing a party for a little boy tomorrow?

305. Yeah, Kay told me the bad news.

306. Roger, I want this party to be a very big success.

307. Is there anything you can do to entertain kids?

308. - I might wiggle my mustache. - No, I'm serious.

309. Oh, don't knock it. That's how I won my wife.

310. I know, you can be my assistant during my magic act.

311. No, no. Although, I will grant you

312. I look rather fetching in my black mess stockings and high heels.

313. No, you better get somebody else.

314. Wilbur, can you come in, please?

315. Peter.

316. Peter, look I found your baseball.

317. Peter, I'm sorry.

318. This whole thing is a mistake.

319. You didn't believe me when I told you.

320. I'm sorry, Peter.

321. But you know sometimes big people make mistakes?

322. Well, you just got to forgive them.

323. Now, can we be friends?

324. Did you know I'm going to help Mr. Post with his magic act tomorrow?

325. That's right. He insisted.

326. You're going to have the most wonderful party tomorrow.

327. But those kids don't like me.

328. Oh, yes they do.

329. Now, are we friends?

330. Well, here, let me take your things,

331. and we'll go out and play catch, huh?

332. - Great. - That a boy.

333. I got some mitts upstairs.

334. Show you the finer points of the game.

335. Now, what do you think of your party, sweetie.

336. It's okay.

337. Peter, here is some more of your friends.

338. - Hi, Andy. - Hi.

339. Hello, sissy. Com on, Mike,

340. Peter, let's join the group,ó? huh?

341. Come on, fellas. Let's get the entertainment on the way.

342. Here we are.

343. Tag you're it. Come on, you got to chase me.

344. Now, if you just keep your little—

345. Just keep quiet. I will introduce

346. that world famous magician

347. and prestidigitator

348. who has just returned

349. from a triumphant tour of the providences.

350. The one, the only...

351. Wilburini.

352.

353. Thank you. Thank you. I thank you.

354.

355. Isn't he funny?

356. Go ask your mother.

357. Now, if my assistant will give me a piece of rope,

358. any piece of rope,

359. I shall perform my next trick.

360. Why of course a piece of rope, an ordinary piece of rope.

361. - Here you are. - Why thank you.

362. As you can all see this is just plain ordinary piece of rope.

363. It is not. It's a trick rope.

364. I saw it on television.

365. Yeah, he makes believe he cuts it,

366. but he really doesn't.

367. It's got a magnet in the middle of it that holds it together.

368. For my next trick,

369. I should like to perform one never before seen anywhere.

370. Not even on television.

371. I bet.

372. This is called my disappearing trick.

373. Uh, for this trick,

374. I shall need two volunteers from the audience.

375. They're not volunteers, they're vigilantes.

376. They'll never get this one.

377. Uh, if my assistant will give

378. each of these boys one of these rubber balls?

379. Yes, master.

380. Young man, there you are.

381. Now, if you will please place

382. one ball in each of my pockets.

383. That's it. May I—

384. - Here you are, sir. - Thank you very much.

385. I have here a box. Just an empty box, huh?

386. Is that empty? Are you quite sure?

387.

388.

389. Now, look. Stop that.

390.

391. This might be a good place to bring down the curtain.

392. Come on, boys. Refreshments.

393. Here we go.

394.

395. Wilbur, where's Peter?

396. Peter?

397. I think I know where he's gone.

398. Would you mind holding these, dear?

399. Come on, Pete, it's your party.

400. All the kids are waiting for you.

401. You know they're not.

402. You don't want to miss all that ice-cream do you?

403. Hey, Wilbur?

404. Yeah.

405. I got an idea that will help Peter.

406. Yes.

407. Now, listen.

408.

409. Peter, there you are. Here I fixed a plate for you.

410. Come on, sit down now. Come on.

411. Hey, look.

412. The magician has made a horse disappear.

413.

414. Who wants to ride on Mr. Ed, huh?

415. Johnny, you're the oldest. You go first.

416. Gee.

417.

418.

419. Hey, what's a matter with him?

420. Oh, nothing.

421. He always acts like that with a new rider.

422. Don't be afraid, Johnny. Come on.

423.

424. Not me. Andy, you go first.

425. No thanks. Mike, you go first.

426.

427. What, you think I'm crazy?

428. Isn't there anybody here brave enough to ride Mr. Ed.

429. No, not me.

430. No thanks.

431. Surely there's someone here who's willing to take a chance.

432. How about you, Pete?

433. Him? He's a sissy.

434. I'll ride Mr. Ed.

435. That a boy. Come on, Pete.

436. Gang way, boys. Here we are.

437. Up you go.

438. There.

439. Now, look, if he tries to roll over on you, you, uh—

440. You jump off fast and get right back on.

441. - Got it? - Okay.

442. Let's go!

443.

444. Stand back.

445. He ain't scared.

446. Boy, he's brave.

447. Who called him a sissy?

448.

449. Here's the ball, Pete. Give it to me.

450. Oh, up high. Let's go.

451. Man, this a lot fun.

452. Yeah.

453. Here, Pete.

454. Well, what do you know?

455. You made a little boy very happy, Ed.

456. Want to make me happy, Wilbur?

457. Yeah.

458. Lose a little weight.

459.

460. I'll think about it.

461. Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA.

462. <Q ♪ And waste your time of day ♪

463. ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

464. This has been a Filmways television presentation.