1. - Well, hello, Mrs. Post.
- Hi. Mr. Reeves.Copy !req
2. Oh, Mr. Reeves.Copy !req
3. Oh, darling,
isn't it beautiful?Copy !req
4. Huh? Isn't that great?Copy !req
5. And it's all ours.Copy !req
6. Yes. Yours and mine
and the man from the bank.Copy !req
7. Aw.Copy !req
8. Oh, Mr. Post,Copy !req
9. I know you went a little
higher than you figured.Copy !req
10. Oh, I couldn't help it.Copy !req
11. As soon as I saw this place,
I fell in love with it.Copy !req
12. Well, you're an architect.Copy !req
13. You know good, solid
construction when you see it.Copy !req
14. I certainly do.Copy !req
15. &
Don't I, dear?Copy !req
16. Thank you, honey.Copy !req
17. Mr. Addison, your next-door
neighbor, who used to own it,Copy !req
18. has always kept it
in fine shape.Copy !req
19. I'm sure he has. Thanks
very much, Mr. Reeves, for everything.Copy !req
20. Well, thank you. I know you two
are going to be very happy here.Copy !req
21. - Thank you. Goodbye.
- Good-bye.Copy !req
22. Well, shall we go in?Copy !req
23. Wilbur, it's our first house.Copy !req
24. Aren't you going to carry me
over the threshold?Copy !req
25. Oh. Oh, yes. Sure.Copy !req
26. Copy !req
27. Good, solid construction.Copy !req
28. Oh. Got to get the key.Copy !req
29. Wilbur, don't put me down.
It's bad luck.Copy !req
30. Oh!Copy !req
31. You'd better get the key then.
It's in one of my pockets.Copy !req
32. Down...Copy !req
33. Wait a minute. I forgot to
get it from Mr. Reeves.Copy !req
34. Mr. Reeves!Copy !req
35. How do you do?Copy !req
36. I'm Roger Addison.
I live next door.Copy !req
37. Oh. I'm just carrying my wife
across the threshold.Copy !req
38. Well, aren't you going
in the wrong direction?Copy !req
39. Yes, I am.
Oh, Mr. Reeves!Copy !req
40. Would you mind?
I won't be long.Copy !req
41. Mr. Reeves!Copy !req
42. How do you do?
I'm Carol Post.Copy !req
43. How do you do?Copy !req
44. Well, now that we've met,
perhaps I'd better put you down.Copy !req
45. Oh, no, no.
You see, it's bad luck.Copy !req
46. Oh.Copy !req
47. I got it, honey.Copy !req
48. Oh, this way,
Mr. Addison.Copy !req
49. I'm awfully sorry.Copy !req
50. There we are.Copy !req
51. Oh! Ah! Here.Copy !req
52. Whoa. How do you do?
I'm Wilbur Post.Copy !req
53. - How do you do?
- Won't you come on in?Copy !req
54. Not right now.Copy !req
55. I have a feeling that
I might be intruding.Copy !req
56. u,
Come on, honey. Let's go look at the rest of our estate.Copy !req
57. All 200 feet of it?Copy !req
58. Isn't this wonderful? I've never
lived in the country before.Copy !req
59. Oh, you'll love it.Copy !req
60. I lived in a place like this
when I was a kid.Copy !req
61. Aha!Copy !req
62. Now, there's something
you learn on a farm.Copy !req
63. A rake lying on the ground.
That is dangerous.Copy !req
64. Oh, well, sure, if you stepped
on it in your bare...Copy !req
65. No, no, no. Not bare feet.
Not just that.Copy !req
66. Why, if you were to step on
that, that could come right up and smack you in the face.Copy !req
67. Oh, you mean it's dangerous
just to do this?Copy !req
68. Copy !req
69. That is dangerous.Copy !req
70. - Come on, hon.
- Oh, I'm sorry!Copy !req
71. That's what I was telling
you about, honey.Copy !req
72. This could be converted
into an office for me.Copy !req
73. I figured I'd put
a skylight up there,Copy !req
74. and right next to my drafting
table, we could build cabinets.Copy !req
75. Copy !req
76. - Carol, look!
- A horse!Copy !req
77. But he wasn't here when we
first looked at the place.Copy !req
78. Well, maybe he was outside.Copy !req
79. How about that?
A horse!Copy !req
80. Oh, let's get out of here!
Or get him out of here! Or do something!Copy !req
81. Well, you two certainly areCopy !req
82. the most affectionate couple
I've ever seen.Copy !req
83. He-He tried to bite me!Copy !req
84. I suppose that's all right.
You're married.Copy !req
85. Oh, she means the horse.Copy !req
86. Him? He doesn't bite.
He's just a mangy old nag.Copy !req
87. Copy !req
88. As a matter of fact, that's what
I came to tell you about.Copy !req
89. You see, the people who rented
this house before you bought it owned this horse.Copy !req
90. Well, they had to leave
in a hurry, and they saidCopy !req
91. you can keep him, you can
sell him, do anything you want with him.Copy !req
92. Oh!Copy !req
93. We'll keep him.Copy !req
94. Wilbur, of course not.
We'll sell him.Copy !req
95. - No, we'll keep him.
- Sell him.Copy !req
96. - Keep him.
- Sell him.Copy !req
97. - Keep him.
- Sell him!Copy !req
98. I'm glad to hear
you two arguing.Copy !req
99. For a moment, I was wondering
if you were a normal married couple.Copy !req
100. Wilbur, come here, honey.Copy !req
101. We've gone to a lot of expense
to buy this house,Copy !req
102. and we just can't afford
to feed the animal.Copy !req
103. Well, okay, I guess—Copy !req
104. You'll see I'm right.
I'll find a horse dealer in the phone book.Copy !req
105. Look, I'm sorry, old fella.Copy !req
106. I wanted to keep you, but...Copy !req
107. Hey, do you have
any water?Copy !req
108. Huh?Copy !req
109. You know, I should never have
started cleaning you up.Copy !req
110. The better you get to look,
the more I want to keep you.Copy !req
111. Ah, let's get started
with the feet now, huh?Copy !req
112. Maybe it's just hot in here.Copy !req
113. Should open a window.Copy !req
114. Mr. Parker, this is
my husband, Wilbur,Copy !req
115. and that's the horse.Copy !req
116. Why didn't you let him guess?Copy !req
117. How do you do, Mr. Post?Copy !req
118. I think I can take him
off your hands for $50.Copy !req
119. Honey, you're making
a big mistake. This is a very intelligent horse.Copy !req
120. We've been all through that,
dear. We'll take the $50.Copy !req
121. All right. There you are.Copy !req
122. Give it to her.Copy !req
123. There you are, ma'am— $50.Copy !req
124. And I think we both
made a good deal.Copy !req
125. This horse looks to be
in pretty good shape.Copy !req
126. Just a minute.
This horse is lame.Copy !req
127. Lame?Copy !req
128. Lame, huh?Copy !req
129. Well, the horse wouldn't be
much use to you like that.Copy !req
130. There's nothing out of place.Copy !req
131. Probably just a barn cramp.Copy !req
132. Oh. Barn cramp, huh?Copy !req
133. But of course,Copy !req
134. if this horse were in real pain,
he wouldn't be holding his head so high.Copy !req
135. The minute a horse is distressed
or off his feed,Copy !req
136. first thing you notice,
that head goes right down.Copy !req
137. Well, the animal is ailing.Copy !req
138. Well, we can't take advantage
of the man, honey.Copy !req
139. - Give him his money back.
- Well, honey...Copy !req
140. Of course, he can't be
real sick.Copy !req
141. If a horse can stand,
he's worth $50.Copy !req
142. Well, I'll be.Copy !req
143. Give me back my $50.Copy !req
144. Horse trading is a thieving,
conniving, double-crossing business at best,Copy !req
145. but this beats all.Copy !req
146. Just a minute.Copy !req
147. 10, 20, 30,Copy !req
148. 40, 45.Copy !req
149. Yeah, it's all here.Copy !req
150. Wilbur, what are we
going to do now?Copy !req
151. Honey, if the man
doesn't want the horse...Copy !req
152. But, honey, how can we
take care of him?Copy !req
153. Look at him. He's sick.Copy !req
154. Maybe the S.P.C.A. can help us.
I'll go call them.Copy !req
155. Carol. Carol!Copy !req
156. Can you come over right away?Copy !req
157. I'm afraid he's a very sick
horse. He's on his back.Copy !req
158. Hello? Look, you can
forget about it.Copy !req
159. The horse is
perfectly all right.Copy !req
160. Thank you.Copy !req
161. Wilbur, what do you mean,
the horse is all right?Copy !req
162. Do you know that horse
was only kidding?Copy !req
163. "Kidding"?Copy !req
164. He was only pretending to be
sick so he could stay.Copy !req
165. Wilbur, I know you
want to keep the horse, but this is ridiculous.Copy !req
166. But it's true!Copy !req
167. Why do you think
I winked back at him?Copy !req
168. You-You winked back at him?Copy !req
169. - Yeah, but he winked
at me first. - Oh, Wilbur.Copy !req
170. Look, there is nothing
wrong with that horse.Copy !req
171. Look.Copy !req
172. All right, Wilbur.
All right.Copy !req
173. You can keep the horse
if it means that much to you,Copy !req
174. but stop making up
these fantastic stories.Copy !req
175. - I love you.
- Well, prove it.Copy !req
176. - Come in.
- Aren't you people overdoing this a bit?Copy !req
177. She's letting me
keep the horse.Copy !req
178. How nice. Now, what I came over
to tell you is this:Copy !req
179. that I'm having some neighbors
over tomorrow night,Copy !req
180. and I'd like to have you
come over and meet them.Copy !req
181. - Oh, thank you.
- We'd be delighted.Copy !req
182. If I were you,
I'd keep my door closed.Copy !req
183. Now, you're gonna
stay after all.Copy !req
184. Isn't that great?Copy !req
185. Oh, I never thought owning a
horse could mean so much to me.Copy !req
186. I guess it's because
when I was a little boy,Copy !req
187. I wanted a pony.Copy !req
188. Of course, it's been a long time
since I was a little boy.Copy !req
189. It's been a long time
since I was a pony.Copy !req
190. Who said that?Copy !req
191. Oh, no.
That's impossible.Copy !req
192. Did you say that?Copy !req
193. Oh! How could you?Copy !req
194. Did you say it?Copy !req
195. Oh, I...
I didn't hear it.Copy !req
196. How could I?Copy !req
197. But I did.Copy !req
198. Oh, that's impossible!
I don't believe it!Copy !req
199. Now, while I'm looking
right at you, say something.Copy !req
200. - Like what?
- Anything. Anything.Copy !req
201. How now, brown cow?Copy !req
202. Carol! Carol!Copy !req
203. - Carol! Carol!
- What is it, honey?Copy !req
204. - Carol, the horse!
- Down here, dear.Copy !req
205. Carol! The horse!Copy !req
206. The horse...Copy !req
207. Better sit down, dear.Copy !req
208. - The horse...
- Uh-huh?Copy !req
209. He talks.Copy !req
210. Wilbur, I told you
you could keep the horse. Now...Copy !req
211. Look, look, I know it sounds
fantastic, unbelievable, but it's true.Copy !req
212. The horse talks!Copy !req
213. I didn't believe it
myself at first,Copy !req
214. and then I made him say
something while I was looking right at him.Copy !req
215. What did he say?Copy !req
216. "How now, brown cow?"Copy !req
217. The rake!
The bump on the head!Copy !req
218. Oh!Copy !req
219. Yeah. The rake. Yeah.Copy !req
220. The rake!
That's what it was!Copy !req
221. How do you feel?Copy !req
222. Fine.Copy !req
223. Carol!Copy !req
224. Carol!Copy !req
225. Carol? Sit down.Copy !req
226. Carol, that horse talks!Copy !req
227. You've got to go to bed and I'll
call the doctor and everything will be all right.Copy !req
228. Come on with me. You're gonna
hear it straight from the horse's mouth.Copy !req
229. Wilbur!Copy !req
230. Wilbur!Copy !req
231. Wilbur!Copy !req
232. Wilbur, I'm worried
about you!Copy !req
233. I'll prove it to you.
You'll see.Copy !req
234. All right, say something.Copy !req
235. Well? Don't just
stand there.Copy !req
236. Say something.Copy !req
237. Oh!Copy !req
238. I know why he won't talk.
You've turned your back on him.Copy !req
239. That horse is sensitive.
Now, Carol, will you please turn around?Copy !req
240. This whole thing
is ridiculous!Copy !req
241. Will you please
turn around?Copy !req
242. All right.Copy !req
243. Oh!Copy !req
244. I told you
he was sensitive.Copy !req
245. I wouldn't believe
that horse could talkCopy !req
246. if the two of you stood there
and sang a duet!Copy !req
247. Carol!Copy !req
248. Why didn't you
talk to my wife?Copy !req
249. I hate skeptics.Copy !req
250. But you made me look
like such a fool.Copy !req
251. You've got to talk to my wife.
Why did you talk to me?Copy !req
252. Because I like you.Copy !req
253. This whole thing
is fantastic.Copy !req
254. I just don't understand it.Copy !req
255. Don't try to.Copy !req
256. It's bigger than
both of us.Copy !req
257. - Hello, Mr. Addison.
- Oh, hello, Post.Copy !req
258. I didn't recognize you without
your wife in your arms.Copy !req
259. - Come in.
- Thank you.Copy !req
260. Mr. Addison, I... I'd like
to ask you something.Copy !req
261. Why, certainly, Post, certainly.
Anything at all.Copy !req
262. Oh, a cigar?Copy !req
263. No, I haven't
got one with me.Copy !req
264. No, no, no, Post.
I'm offering you a cigar.Copy !req
265. Oh! Thank you.Copy !req
266. You know, I'm sorry my wife
won't be backCopy !req
267. from New York in time for
the party tomorrow night.Copy !req
268. I did want you
and your wife to meet her.Copy !req
269. Oh, fine.
We'll enjoy seeing her.Copy !req
270. Post, I know we're both
in the same room,Copy !req
271. but I don't think
we're in the same world.Copy !req
272. Is there something
on your mind?Copy !req
273. Yes, Mr. Addison, there is.Copy !req
274. Well, sit down
and tell me about it.Copy !req
275. Thank you.Copy !req
276. Uh, Mr. Addison,Copy !req
277. the man who lived in the house
before we did... Um, he rented from you.Copy !req
278. - Mr. Oldfield.
- Yeah. Did you know him very well?Copy !req
279. Oh, yes, indeed.
We were very close friends.Copy !req
280. Did you ever exchange
confidences with him?Copy !req
281. Yeah, quite often.Copy !req
282. Did he ever tell you
about his horse?Copy !req
283. No. What about his horse?Copy !req
284. Did he ever tell you
his horse talked?Copy !req
285. Oh, no. Oldfield said
a lot of funny things...Copy !req
286. Would you repeat that, please?Copy !req
287. He didn't say anything
about his horse talking?Copy !req
288. No.Copy !req
289. Did the horse ever
say anything?Copy !req
290. No.Copy !req
291. Did the horse ever
talk to you?Copy !req
292. Uh-huh.Copy !req
293. He's been talking to me
all afternoon.Copy !req
294. I just realized
I'm a little tired.Copy !req
295. I think perhaps a little rest
would do me good.Copy !req
296. It might not be a bad idea
for you to get some rest too.Copy !req
297. You see, I played 18 holes
of golf today, and that's a little too much for me.Copy !req
298. Normally I only play 9,
and I'm a little fatigued.Copy !req
299. Mr. Addison, the reason I came
over here is I need your help.Copy !req
300. You see, I've got
a problem with my wife.Copy !req
301. I can't convince her
that the horse talks.Copy !req
302. I would say that
your wife had the problem.Copy !req
303. so frustrated is that
my neighbor, my wife—Copy !req
304. my own wife—Copy !req
305. I tell 'em I've got a horse
that talks, and they don't believe me.Copy !req
306. Why should they?
It's ridiculous.Copy !req
307. - But you do talk.
- Only to you.Copy !req
308. Well, why only to me?Copy !req
309. 'Cause you're the only one
I ever likedCopy !req
310. well enough to
talk to, Wilbur.Copy !req
311. Well, thanks, uh...Copy !req
312. Ed.Copy !req
313. Ed?Copy !req
314. What kind of a name
is Ed for a horse?Copy !req
315. What kind of a name
is Wilbur for a man?Copy !req
316. Ah, stop gabbin'
and get me some oats.Copy !req
317. I'm starved.Copy !req
318. Well, that's-that's right.Copy !req
319. You do need some oats.
Yeah.Copy !req
320. Oh, um, where shall
I get them?Copy !req
321. Go to Duffy's
feed and grain store.Copy !req
322. Wilbur...Copy !req
323. Yes?Copy !req
324. They give Green Stamps.Copy !req
325. Oh! Honey, let me give you
a hand with that.Copy !req
326. All right.Copy !req
327. There we are.Copy !req
328. Honey, what's wrong?Copy !req
329. I had an awful time
at the market today.Copy !req
330. What happened?Copy !req
331. Everybody was talking about
the new couple that moved in, the Posts.Copy !req
332. They said that the husband
thinks he has a horse that talks.Copy !req
333. What did you say?Copy !req
334. I said my name
was Mrs. Jones.Copy !req
335. - Oh, honey...Copy !req
336. Look, dear,
don't worry about it.Copy !req
337. These things have a way
of clearing themselves up.Copy !req
338. Hello.Copy !req
339. Hello, Post?
This is Mr. Addison.Copy !req
340. I'm sorry, but the party
for tonight is canceled.Copy !req
341. Goodbye.Copy !req
342. That was Mr. Addison.Copy !req
343. The party's been called off.Copy !req
344. I knew it!
I just knew it!Copy !req
345. - Look, Carol...Copy !req
346. Carol!Copy !req
347. Don't call me Carol!
My name is Mrs. Jones!Copy !req
348. Copy !req
349. Got to prove that
this horse t...Copy !req
350. A tape recorder.
That'll do it!Copy !req
351. - Hi, Wilbur.
- Hi, Ed.Copy !req
352. What you doing?Copy !req
353. Oh, just thought
I'd drop in, say hello.Copy !req
354. That's nice.Copy !req
355. You know, I'm very flattered
that I'm the only human beingCopy !req
356. that you picked on
to talk to, old horse.Copy !req
357. That's swell.Copy !req
358. Uh, can I get you some oats
or anything, old horse?Copy !req
359. Nope. I'm fine.Copy !req
360. Uh, can I open the window
for you, Mister Ed?Copy !req
361. Nope.Copy !req
362. Leave it closed.Copy !req
363. Well, good night, horse.Copy !req
364. Good night.Copy !req
365. - Hey, Wilbur.
- What?Copy !req
366. Nice gadget you got there.Copy !req
367. Oh, yeah.
Yes, it is.Copy !req
368. Tape recorder, huh?Copy !req
369. Oh, well, yeah.Copy !req
370. You might call it that,
I guess. Goodbye.Copy !req
371. - Hey, Wilbur.
- What?Copy !req
372. How you gonna convince anyoneCopy !req
373. the other voice
on that tape is a horse?Copy !req
374. Huh?Copy !req
375. Oh!Copy !req
376. Oh, this is great.Copy !req
377. All because you had to pick on
me to talk to.Copy !req
378. Millions of people
in the whole world you could...Copy !req
379. and you got to pick on me.Copy !req
380. Now everybody thinks
I've flipped my lid. Carol's heartbroken.Copy !req
381. All because you pick on me
to talk to.Copy !req
382. Wilbur, I can get you
out of this.Copy !req
383. How?Copy !req
384. Phone that
real estate man, Reeves.Copy !req
385. Reeves?Copy !req
386. You tell him what
I'm gonna tell you.Copy !req
387. If I know Reeves, he'll run
right to Addison.Copy !req
388. Well, then what?Copy !req
389. Then your troubles
will be over.Copy !req
390. Now, listen, Wilbur.Copy !req
391. Copy !req
392. What do you mean, Post
doesn't want the house? He bought it, didn't he?Copy !req
393. Sure. But he wants to make you
give him back the money without asking for it.Copy !req
394. That's ridiculous.
The man's out of his mind.Copy !req
395. That's exactly what
he wants you to believe.Copy !req
396. That's why he told me
the horse talks.Copy !req
397. Right.
Don't you understand?Copy !req
398. It's the oldest trick
in the real estate game.Copy !req
399. He wants to make us think
he's got a screw loose up here.Copy !req
400. That way, you'll try to get him
out of the neighborhood.Copy !req
401. I see. Well, he'll never
get away with it.Copy !req
402. Mr. Addison, you tried to sell
this house for a long time.Copy !req
403. There were no takers
at your price.Copy !req
404. You leave it to me, Reeves.Copy !req
405. I know how to handle Post.Copy !req
406. Carol, will you
come downstairs?Copy !req
407. - No!
- Honey, I'll make your lunch.Copy !req
408. I'm not hungry!Copy !req
409. Honey, there's nothing
to worry about.Copy !req
410. Somebody just told me how to
straighten out this whole mess.Copy !req
411. - Who?
- Oop!Copy !req
412. Maybe you'd better
stay upstairs.Copy !req
413. Copy !req
414. - Oh. Hello, Mr. Addison.
- Hello, Wilbur.Copy !req
415. - Come on in, sit down.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.Copy !req
416. What a pleasant surprise.Copy !req
417. Copy !req
418. Why, my horse just told me
a very funny story.Copy !req
419. Funniest one I've heard
in years.Copy !req
420. I'm still laughing about it.Copy !req
421. Well, let me hear it.Copy !req
422. Ah, well, these two fellows
were at a bar, you see,Copy !req
423. and one of them says,
"Give me four martinis."Copy !req
424. I know that joke.Copy !req
425. - You do?
- Yeah, my dog told it to me.Copy !req
426. Your... dog?Copy !req
427. Well, your horse told it
to my cat, my cat told it to my dog,Copy !req
428. and my dog told it to me.Copy !req
429. How do you like the way
things get around?Copy !req
430. - Wilbur...
- Yeah?Copy !req
431. If I cut $2,000 off the price
of the house, will that make you stay?Copy !req
432. - Two thou—
- Is it a deal?Copy !req
433. It's a deal!Copy !req
434. Now, Wilbur,
does your horse talk?Copy !req
435. - No. Does your dog talk?
- No.Copy !req
436. - Your cat?
- Hm-mmm.Copy !req
437. You know, for a minute, I was
a little worried about you.Copy !req
438. And I worried about you.Copy !req
439. Oh, and by the way,
the party is not canceled.Copy !req
440. - I'm expecting you
and your wife. - Oh, just a minute.Copy !req
441. Carol? Carol!Copy !req
442. I don't want any lunch.Copy !req
443. Look, honey,
Mr. Addison's here.Copy !req
444. He's inviting us to
the party tonight.Copy !req
445. Really?
How wonderful!Copy !req
446. Look, not only that,
he likes us so muchCopy !req
447. he's knocked $2,000 off
the price of the house.Copy !req
448. Oh, thank you, Mr. Addison!Copy !req
449. Oh, Wilbur.Copy !req
450. Honey.Copy !req
451. Well, this is where
I came in.Copy !req
452. Copy !req
453. Ed, you asleep?Copy !req
454. Not anymore.Copy !req
455. Well, everything
worked out fine.Copy !req
456. We went to the party. The ladies
invited Carol out to lunch...Copy !req
457. - Wilbur.
- Yeah?Copy !req
458. Good night.Copy !req
459. Well, I haven't finished
telling you about Carol.Copy !req
460. Good night, Wilbur.Copy !req
461. Well, good night!Copy !req
462. D
People.Copy !req
463. Talk, talk, talk.Copy !req
464. Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CACopy !req
465. This has been a Filmways television presentation.Copy !req