1. Whoa!
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2. Oh, hi, I'm Cassie.
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3. Well, charmed, I'm sure.
I'm Richard.
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4. Since this is obviously
some sort of an erotic dream,
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5. why don't you go ahead
and slip out of those little
shorts of yours? (CHUCKLES)
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6. Yung didn't tell me
she had a pet bird.
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7. You're so cute!
I'm an animal lover.
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8. Yeah? Well, you're about to be
an animal (BLEEP), see?
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9. - (CHUCKLES)
Oh, hey, Cassie.
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10. Yung, get out
of my dream,
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11. you're ruining it!
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12. I just met
your little bird.
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13. Yeah, well, I'm big
where it counts, honey.
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14. In my drawers, sister!
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15. - (PIGEON GRUNTS)
- Come inside.
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16. I'll "come inside."
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17. (HUMMING) Hmm?
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18. Hey, Dad.
This is my friend Cassie
that I told you about.
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19. Hi, nice to meet you, Cassie.
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20. Oh, and this is
our butler, Marquess.
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21. What?
I'm not your butler.
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22. What are you talking about?
You just made me a sandwich.
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23. You do all the cleaning.
You wear that butler outfit.
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24. You got that
fake British accent.
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25. Oh, my God. Okay,
lovely to meet you, Cassie.
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26. Now, what are you girls
up to today, hmm?
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27. Cassie came over
to help me pack for our trip.
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28. What trip?
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29. Spring break.
We're going to Miami.
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30. - Come on, Cassie.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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31. No soda pops
in your room.
We don't want ants.
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32. Oh. (CLEARS THROAT)
Sure. Yeah.
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33. Ah! I'm impressed, Michael.
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34. Letting Yung go to Miami
with a friend.
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35. Oh, (BLEEP).
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36. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Come back here, young lady.
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37. What is this I hear
about me letting you
go to Miami with a friend?
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38. Uh... I don't know.
Did... Did you hear that?
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39. Oh, I sure did.
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40. I don't like it,
but I heard it.
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41. So, are we clear,
young lady?
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42. Yeah?
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43. Crystal clear?
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44. Crystal clear.
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45. Well, all right then.
You girls have fun.
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46. I'm just so glad
we had a talk.
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47. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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48. What about these sodas?
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49. Don't just leave them
sitting around, open,
for ants to drink.
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50. Take them up
in your room.
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51. Butler, draw my bath.
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52. What?
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53. I don't want to tell you
how to do your job, Marquess,
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54. but maybe next time,
less bubbles.
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55. Mmm.
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56. What are you guys
doing out here?
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57. - Nothing. Literally nothing.
- (MARQUESS EXCLAIMS)
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58. Just standing here.
We weren't even talking.
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59. Wh... What?
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60. (EXCLAIMS)
I was talking to you!
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61. I was telling you about
when I was an altar boy,
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62. and Father Ferdinand
took me up to the belfry
and made me...
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63. I can't say it again.
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64. (SOBBING) It was hard
enough saying it once.
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65. Hey, guys,
help me find a mystery
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66. that takes place in Miami.
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67. Wait... Michael!
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68. We're not going
on spring break with Yung.
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69. We're not going to Miami
on spring break.
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70. We're going to Miami
to solve a mystery.
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71. Hey, what the hell are you
winking at me for,
Father Ferdinand?
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72. What are they doing up there?
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73. Huh?
Oh, Yung and Cassie?
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74. - I think they're
trying on swimsuits.
- What the (BLEEP)?
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75. Why didn't you tell me that
instead of wasting all my time
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76. with that awful
molestation tale?
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77. How dare you!
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78. God damn it.
I can't see a (BLEEP) thing.
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79. - (GIRLS GIGGLING)
- Fly, you dumb
piece of (BLEEP). Fly!
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80. (GROANS) Screw it.
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81. Found one.
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82. What? You really
found a mystery that
takes place in Miami?
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83. No, Cuba.
But that's right next door.
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84. - (GIRLS EXCLAIM)
Oh! A pigeon!
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85. Oh! Get out!
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86. It was worth it.
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87. So, basically, we would like
your help
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88. in transitioning away from
communism to capitalism.
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89. But do this in a way
that does not make it seem
like we are backpedaling
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90. or admitting a mistake.
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91. We don't want to hear,
"I told you so."
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92. I mean, we really
don't want to hear that, okay?
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93. This, "I told you so." Please.
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94. No one likes to hear,
"I told you so."
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95. Nobody likes to hear,
"I told you so."
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96. So, how do you want
to proceed?
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97. Well, normally, what we do
when we take on a new mystery
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98. is hear about the mystery,
which we just did.
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99. So, we can check that
off the list.
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100. Then we shift into
our period of reflection,
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101. which you just got
a little taste of
when we got quiet.
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102. And it was like,
"Who's gonna talk next?"
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103. And that period
could last anywhere from
a few minutes to a few days.
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104. What's your mystery again?
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105. Hmm. We want to switch from
a central-planned economy
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106. to more like
a free-market system.
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107. But, like, without saying
we are really doing that.
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108. You know what I mean?
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109. Okay, cool.
So, your mystery is more
complicated than most.
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110. So, I'm gonna
definitely estimate
in a few days of reflection.
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111. We'll be in Miami for the
next couple of days for spring
break, and we'll call you.
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112. Oh, no, no, no, no.
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113. You must stay in Cuba
until the job is done.
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114. We will put you up in one of
our finest government-run
boarding houses.
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115. Oh, well, if it is as nice
as this office,
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116. then it's gonna be
a piece of (BLEEP).
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117. You know, just like this
office is a piece of (BLEEP)?
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118. I think this office
is just a...
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119. This is really
the presidential office?
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120. And you are only now wondering
if you should rethink
your economic system?
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121. Okay, I think
we need to have a rule,
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122. that from now on,
we don't go on a mystery
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123. until all of us
have read the mystery,
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124. because I don't even
understand this one.
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125. It seems like it's more
for an economics team,
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126. or a bunch of diplomats.
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127. It also seems dangerous.
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128. I'm pretty sure we're under
house arrest right now,
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129. and you know
they torture people here.
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130. These Castros,
they seem cute
and eccentric,
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131. with their cigars and their
mustaches, but they
torture people. They do.
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132. Yeah. Anyone who doesn't
agree with them.
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133. Poets, artists,
political dissidents.
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134. They lock them up. Really.
Yeah, I read it.
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135. I read it in Vanity Fair.
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136. Oh, my God.
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137. Okay, Michael,
what is our... What?
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138. (GASPS) Michael!
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139. Come on!
We gotta get to Miami.
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140. (EXCLAIMS) We have
been walking for seven hours.
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141. Do you have any idea
where we are?
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142. I bet we're on
the outskirts of Miami.
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143. Like, probably around
Key Biscayne.
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144. Or Tampa.
Yeah, this looks like Tampa.
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145. - I bet we're closer
to Haiti than Tampa.
- (RUMBLING)
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146. Quick! Grab my hand!
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147. Grab my hand. Pigeon!
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148. - Whoa.
- (MARQUESS SCREAMING)
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149. Oh, that was Marquess?
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150. I thought it was maybe
a snake or something.
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151. Like, a jungle snake.
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152. But I guess it was Marquess.
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153. He was with us, wasn't he?
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154. Oh, we must be in Orlando.
That's Epcot.
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155. Yeah, maybe.
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156. Probably not, though, because
we never crossed the ocean.
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157. You know what that's gotta be?
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158. That's Guantanamo Bay.
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159. Oh, shit.
He can't hear me,
he ran off.
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160. Ah...
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161. I should make this
a regular thing that I do.
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162. Very pleasurable.
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163. You won't believe it, Pigeon.
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164. - That was not Epcot.
- I believe it.
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165. And these wonderful men
were caged up like animals.
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166. The poets, the artists that
Marquess was talking about.
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167. I do not believe that part.
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168. I said, "Hey, you guys
wanna be free?"
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169. And then I just ripped
a hole in the fence,
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170. and they just started
pouring out of there,
scattering in all directions.
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171. Khaled, everyone!
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172. We've got our boats.
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173. Hey, your guys
have room for two more?
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174. Of course, Mike Tyson.
You set us free.
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175. We will never forget
whose side you are really on.
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176. Hey, fellas,
let me ask you something.
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177. Were any of you
tortured back there?
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178. I mean, that Cuban government
is bad news.
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179. I'm kind of glad we didn't
help solve their mystery.
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180. Chug! Chug! Chug!
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181. I'm so thirsty. Give me that.
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182. Chug! Chug! Chug!
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183. I've drunk nothing
but my own urine
for the past three days.
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184. So, so much urine!
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185. If I never have
another sip of urine again,
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186. it will be too soon.
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187. (CHEERING)
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
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188. Marquess?
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189. Marquess!
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190. Yung!
Oh, thank God.
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191. You have no idea
what I have been through.
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192. There are so many sharks
between here and Cuba.
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193. I mean, it's all sharks.
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194. You can just walk
on their backs. I don't...
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195. I don't know why
I built a raft.
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196. What were you doing in Cuba?
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197. What?
Solving a mystery.
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198. Well, then,
where's Dad and Pigeon?
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199. How long
were we in that boat?
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200. I don't know. I fell asleep.
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201. It felt like six
or seven days.
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202. Damn, looks like Miami
hasn't recovered
from the recession.
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203. Oh, wait. This is
way too shitty to be Miami.
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204. This gotta be Jacksonville.
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205. But we're close, Pigeon.
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206. Jacksonville isn't too far
from Miami.
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207. Let's start walking.
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