1. I think
they're doing it on purpose.
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2. Hold on, Councilman.
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3. Are you saying the unions
are using the slowdown
as a bargaining tool?
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4. Well, it's hard to conclude
anything else.
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5. But we don't know.
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6. As I've said before,
it's a mystery.
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7. I propose we attempt
to solve the mystery
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8. by hiring an independent
mystery team
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9. and then have that
mystery team report
their findings back to us.
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10. Hmm. Now, that is interesting.
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11. I've heard very good things
about the Mike Tyson
Mystery Team.
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12. - The boxer?
- Uh, yes.
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13. Although, I believe he's...
He's retired from boxing.
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14. All right.
All those in favor of hiring
the Mike Tyson Mystery Team
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15. to look into the slowdown
at the Port of Los Angeles
say "Aye."
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16. Those opposed, say "Nay."
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17. - (TV PLAYING)
- Mmm, is that our pizza?
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18. Uh-uh.
- Who is it?
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19. Oh, (BLEEP), dude.
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20. Looks like some
of those religious people.
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21. You know, they go door to door
to prophesize.
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22. We gotta pretend
like we're not here.
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23. (SHUSHING) Mute the TV.
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24. - (MARQUESS GASPS)
- Mute it!
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25. Nobody move.
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26. - Is that our doorbell?
- Shh! Yes.
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27. Have you never heard
our doorbell?
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28. - Does that always go on?
- Shh!
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29. (WHISPERING)
Are they gone yet?
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30. How would I know?
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31. (WHISPERING) I don't think
they saw me, did they?
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32. - I don't think so. (GASPS)
- (DOORBELL MUSIC PLAYING)
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33. What the (BLEEP)?
Is anybody gonna answer
the (BLEEP) damn door?
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34. (LOUDLY) What?
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35. - (MUSIC CONTINUES)
- Uh, Mr. Tyson?
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36. (WHISPERING)
Can they see me?
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37. - Here's the agreement.
- It basically says
you have 16 months
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38. to conduct your investigation
and report your findings
to the council.
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39. For this, we've budgeted
a total of $1.6 million,
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40. payable in monthly
installments of a $100,000.
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41. That sounds like a smart use
of taxpayer money.
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42. Okay, boys. We'll do it.
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43. - (DOORBELL MUSIC PLAYING)
- Thank you very...
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44. - (SHUSHING)
- We're excited to be...
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45. Shut up. Shut up.
Shut the (BLEEP) up!
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46. Hi, can I help you?
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47. My daughter's
finally old enough to get
her first cellphone.
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48. Dad, I have a cellphone.
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49. I've had one
for, like, four years.
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50. Huh. Okay, well, (BLEEP) it.
Let's just upgrade my phone.
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51. I like always having
the newest (BLEEP).
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52. Okay, great.
You want me to just go ahead
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53. and transfer
your contacts and calendar?
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54. Oh, don't worry
about the calendar.
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55. I got it all up here.
Here, I'll prove it to you.
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56. Today, wake up,
brush my teeth,
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57. eat, drink,
brush my teeth again,
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58. take a shit,
brush my teeth again,
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59. and then stay open
to new possibilities.
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60. Is that all in your calendar?
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61. Tomorrow, brush my teeth,
take a shit,
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62. wake up, brush my teeth again.
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63. Then, dance
like no one's watching.
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64. Oh, actually,
you did forget one thing
for tomorrow.
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65. It says, "LA Port
slowdown investigation due."
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66. Oh, (BLEEP). Why didn't you
mother (BLEEP) remind me, man?
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67. I can't believe
it's been 16 months.
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68. At the most, it feels like
a year and a quarter.
At the most.
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69. Maybe a year
and three-eighths.
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70. Maybe even
a year and five-eighths.
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71. No, that feels too long.
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72. If anything, it feels like
exactly a year and a quarter.
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73. But, whatever it is,
it damn sure don't feel
like 16 months went by.
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74. I mean, if anything,
it feels something like
15 months and four weeks.
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75. This is ridiculous.
We can't solve this mystery
in a single day.
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76. We should just call
the city council or whoever
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77. and say we can't do it
and give the money back.
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78. We can't. It's gone.
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79. - What?
- All $1.6 million?
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80. What are you talking about?
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81. I placed a wager and I lost.
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82. What do you want me to do?
I said I was sorry.
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83. - No, you didn't.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
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84. Guys, we're gonna solve
this mystery.
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85. We just need to get on
one of those ships
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86. and pretend
we're ship workers.
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87. Oh, yeah,
they'll all believe us
when we say
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88. we're their fellow
ship workers.
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89. Yeah, and then we'll see
firsthand who's responsible
for this slowdown.
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90. Now, everybody buckle
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91. - your mother (BLEEP)
seatbelts.
Michael, just...
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92. Dad, what are you doing?
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93. I'm getting us on that boat.
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94. (GASPS)
Michael, stop now!
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95. Dad!
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96. We gotta be going
exactly 88 miles an hour
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97. - when we hit
the end of the pier.
Dad, stop!
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98. - (YUNG AND MARQUESS YELLING)
- Damn, here's a '73 Mercedes
Benz 450SL for $14,000.
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99. - Silver, V8, 79,000 miles.
God, that's a great deal.
Dad...
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100. Oh, shit.
We spent all the money.
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101. Oh, my God.
We're gonna make it.
We're gonna make it!
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102. (BANGING) Wake up.
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103. - (MARQUESS GROANING)
What the...
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104. Are you God?
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105. Are we in heaven?
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106. You're not in heaven.
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107. It's better than heaven.
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108. This is Atlantis!
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109. Stavros Petrakis.
I run the place.
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110. Come on. Come on.
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111. I don't have all (BLEEP) day.
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112. How the (BLEEP)
did we get to Atlanta?
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113. Oh, my God,
this place is foul.
- (GOATS BLEATING)
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114. Are you guys hot?
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115. - Ugh.
The air conditioning...
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116. - Ugh, it's out again.
- (CHICKEN CLUCKING)
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117. I gotta remember
to steal a new compressor.
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118. Hey. Watch your step,
there's goat (BLEEP)
everywhere.
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119. Hmm. Ew.
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120. (SIGHS) I think it
smells worse here
than it did back there.
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121. Wait a second. Is that
the Port of Los Angeles?
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122. I thought Atlantis was a Greek
island that sank somewhere
in the Mediterranean.
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123. That was 3,000 years ago.
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124. You wanna live under the sea,
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125. you gotta go
where the good (BLEEP) is.
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126. And right now, it's up there.
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127. You see?
That one's from China.
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128. It's full of TVs, computers...
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129. You know,
anything you want, baby.
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130. - This is paradise.
- (CLICKS)
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131. (BLEEP) it.
This thing is always broken.
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132. We take the stairs.
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133. Where do you think
he's taking us?
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134. Well, based on
where he's taken us so far,
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135. I'd say probably
the worst place on Earth.
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136. Hey, Niarchos!
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137. For the last time,
don't let your goat
piss at the fountain.
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138. That's our drinking water!
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139. (BLEEP) animal.
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140. So, you guys
are just taking advantage
of the slowdown at the port
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141. to steal stuff?
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142. "Taking advantage"?
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143. We're the reason
for the slowdown, baby.
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144. Those guys were moving
the stuff onto the shore
too fast.
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145. No time to go through it
and get what we want.
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146. But now, we got the unions
in our pocket.
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147. But enough business.
You are our guests.
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148. And everyone knows
a guest in the home
of a Greek is...
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149. Is like a son returned
from the war to his mother
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150. to suckle from her breast!
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151. (BLEEP) Damn it.
(BLEEP) locked.
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152. Maybe we didn't go
high enough. Come on.
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153. Man, I wanna get the hell
outta here.
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154. Dance?
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155. Did you say... (SNAPS)
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156. Dance?
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157. No. I said, "I wanna get
the hell outta here."
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158. - (SHATTERING)
- (BLEEP) Damn, man.
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159. A piece of that plate
could have got in my eye,
mother (BLEEP).
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160. Together.
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161. Let's go. (GRUNTS)
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162. - Down. (LAUGHS)
- (CROWD CHEERING)
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163. Let's go! Down.
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164. How did it go?
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165. What'd you tell them?
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166. Everything.
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167. That we almost drowned,
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168. that we had to (BLEEP)
swim outta there,
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169. and that those
crazy Atlantis people...
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170. I mean, they just kept dancing
and breaking (BLEEP).
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171. Until they were all dead.
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172. And I told them
they need to reimburse me
for the (BLEEP) van.
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173. And what'd they say?
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174. They kept saying
they would take everything
I said "under advisement."
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175. And then I said,
"You don't (BLEEP)
believe me?"
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176. And they said,
"Thank you, Mr. Tyson."
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177. And I said, "Don't be (BLEEP)
patriotic with me."
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178. But I meant to say,
"Don't be (BLEEP)
patronizing with me."
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179. So, who the (BLEEP) know
what they think.
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180. (BLEEP) those guys.
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181. Hey, we're in LA.
You guys wanna see
the Hollywood Walk of Fame?
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182. See if I got a star on there?
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183. (BLEEP) Where's the (BLEEP)
Mystery Mobile?
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184. I guess we gotta take a cab.
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185. Taxi!
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186. Look at that behind!
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187. Baby!
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188. Let's go!
- (TIRES SCREECHING)
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