Mike Judge's Beavis and Butt-Head 2x19

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Beavis and Butt-Head fill their house with garbage to meet girls.

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1. We now return to hour four of the "Hoarders" marathon.

2. His daughter told us it was bad,

3. but nothing prepared us for this.

4. Let's watch something else, Butt-Head.

5. Uh...

6. no way.

7. Those chicks at school said they love this show.

8. And now we must figure out why

9. so that we can score with them.

10. You've hit rock bottom,

11. but we are going to help you get your life back.

12. Whoa!

13. Whoa, she is really into this dude.

14. Look at that. - Whoa.

15. You think she's gonna score with him?

16. Uh...

17. Of course she is.

18. Just look at her go.

19. Ooh, things are getting out of hand here.

20. Whoa.

21. No wonder chicks love this show.

22. They like to score with disgusting hoarder dudes.

23. We know what we have to do.

24. It is time to become hoarders.

25. Let's fill this house with garbage.

26. Cool.

27. Damn it, Beavis.

28. How are we gonna fill this house with garbage

29. when it's full of all this crap you left on the floor?

30. Oh, yeah, yeah.

31. Well, I guess we better clean it up.

32. And done.

33. We did it. Yeah.

34. We sure did.

35. And now let's get to work.

36. Hello.

37. I'm Gary Ray Smith, the Knitting Man.

38. Welcome to my first episode for my YouTube channel.

39. This episode is called "How I Learned to Knit."

40. Huh.

41. Oh, boy.

42. Did you get that, Beavis?

43. It's called, "How I Learned to Knit."

44. The Knitting Man's origin story.

45. The boring-gin story.

46. So first of all, I want to say why I started—

47. By day, he's an interesting man that people wanna be with.

48. But then by night, he becomes Knitting Man,

49. the most boring person alive.

50. He bores his enemies to death.

51. Able to put an entire building

52. full of people to sleep with one story.

53. Look up there. It's somebody cool.

54. It's somebody I wanna hang out with.

55. No, it's Knitting Man.

56. So it looks like there aren't any floats,

57. and I say it's a no-float method,

58. but really, there are floats.

59. They're just one stitch long.

60. What a lying sack of crap he is.

61. He just said there are no floats,

62. but there are floats!

63. See? - Yeah, really.

64. Kids could be watching this.

65. I mean, it's one thing to bore everyone to death,

66. but don't lie.

67. I mean, the truth is boring enough!

68. My wife, by the way, is called the Knitting Widow

69. because she—

70. Because she wants to kill me.

71. People often ask me, "Does your wife knit?"

72. And the answer is, she can—

73. His wife is made out of yarn.

74. Why are you doing this with your life?

75. And some of that.

76. There we go.

77. Now let's go check out our new chick magnet.

78. Whoa.

79. This is cool.

80. Cool.

81. We're hoarders now.

82. It's time to go tell those chicks at school.

83. And then we'll bring 'em back here

84. and let nature take its course.

85. Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing.

86. Um, uh, Butt-Head?

87. Um, where's the door?

88. Uh...

89. I don't know.

90. Um...

91. maybe it's this way.

92. Oh, yeah.

93. Yeah, this looks familiar.

94. Uh, here we go.

95. Oh.

96. We're here again.

97. Uh, maybe it's this way.

98. Oh, yeah, yeah.

99. Okay, okay. Here we go.

100. Yeah, yeah.

101. Yeah, I think the door's over here.

102. Chicks, here we come.

103. Yeah.

104. Right this way.

105. Eh.

106. Oh, this is it. Yeah.

107. Um...

108. Um, uh, is this the same place?

109. Uh, I think so.

110. Um...

111. um, Butt-Head?

112. We can't find the door.

113. Are we stuck in here forever?

114. Uh...

115. this sucks.

116. Uh, where's the door, damn it?

117. Um...

118. I can't remember if the house used to have a door.

119. It had walls. I do remember that.

120. They were cool.

121. But, um, you know, you gotta admit,

122. um, it's kinda cozy this way, you know?

123. Pretty cozy. Yeah.

124. Uh...

125. I think the door is over there.

126. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

127. Uh, don't touch the newspapers.

128. No.

129. Uh, why not?

130. I just like 'em where they are.

131. Don't touch 'em.

132. They're just old newspapers, dumb-ass.

133. Yeah. But I-I might wanna read 'em.

134. You can't even read.

135. I might learn, though, you know?

136. From the newspapers, you know?

137. Like, maybe there's, like, a "How to Read" section

138. in there or something. Just don't take 'em.

139. I have to move the damn newspapers

140. so we can get out of the damn house.

141. They're good newspapers.

142. Those newspapers are worth $200, I bet.

143. Yeah. I could sell 'em.

144. Don't touch 'em.

145. Beavis, you butthole.

146. We finally became hoarders and now all you wanna do

147. is hang on to all this stuff you don't need.

148. Those chicks are at school right now,

149. waiting to score with us.

150. Oh, yeah, yeah.

151. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah.

152. Yeah, scoring.

153. Yeah, sorry, Butt-Head, I just got a little crazy here.

154. I forgot what's really important.

155. Let's go score.

156. Good.

157. Or are you just trying to trick me out of my newspapers?

158. Damn it, Beavis.

159. No!

160. Uh...

161. No! No, no!

162. No! Ahh!

163. Butt-Head.

164. Butt-Head.

165. Butt-Head, can you hear me?

166. Are the newspapers okay?

167. Can you see 'em?

168. Beavis, you're a dumb-ass.

169. I'm getting used to it in here.

170. It's nice.

171. Very comforting.

172. Ahh.

173. Whoa.

174. After all that crap fell on you, I can, like,

175. see the window and stuff.

176. We can escape.

177. I'm gonna climb out of here and go talk to those chicks.

178. Fine. Go ahead.

179. Well, I'm leaving, Beavis.

180. Good. Yeah.

181. Got everything I need right here.

182. Got newspapers and—

183. and the darkness and, um—

184. whoa.

185. Whoa, there's some empty cans.

186. That reminds me of when I was a kid.

187. Yeah.

188. Okay, Beavis.

189. If that's the way you want it,

190. I'll go score by myself.

191. Yeah, maybe bring some chicks back too, you know,

192. if they like empty cans, you know.

193. Uh...

194. ahh!

195. Damn it.

196. Whoa, look.

197. I bet this mayonnaise is still good.

198. If I ever get out of here,

199. I'm gonna kill you, Beavis.

200. Don't wanna eat it yet, though.

201. It could be worth something, you know?

202. Yeah. It's a collectible.

203. Oh, no.

204. Now we gotta halt construction

205. while the police come check this out.

206. Well, I didn't see it if you didn't see it.