1. - Huh?
- Hello.Copy !req
2. Welcome to "Megamind's Rules For Defending Your City!"Copy !req
3. Today,
we're sprucing up the lairCopy !req
4. and cleaning out our emails
from the onternet.Copy !req
5. My number-one fan
Terry Sasko writes,Copy !req
6. "How important to crimefighting
is handsomeness?"Copy !req
7. Why, it's like
the number one thing!Copy !req
8. Myself aside,Copy !req
9. keeping your heroic lair
handsome is critical,Copy !req
10. and the secrets are simple.Copy !req
11. Elbow grease,
a huge army of brainbots,Copy !req
12. and a compassionate supervisor.Copy !req
13. Double time, brainbots!Copy !req
14. I wanna be able to make
a sandwich on a toilet seat!Copy !req
15. - Sir!Copy !req
16. I was cleaning the Gallery
of the Vanquished when I noticedCopy !req
17. that Machiavillain's
golden hairbrush was missing!Copy !req
18. - Machiavillain's
golden hairbrush... -Copy !req
19. Uh, Earth to Megs.Copy !req
20. What the heck is
a Mack-a-blah-blah's golden hairbrush?Copy !req
21. Dear Keiko,
that hairbrush belongedCopy !req
22. to my villain shool master,
Machiavillain.Copy !req
23. He was the greatest bad guy
who ever lived.Copy !req
24. Cunning and cruel,
with long, luxurious hairCopy !req
25. and the voice
of a glam rock angel.Copy !req
26. He ruled the world of villainy
with wicked schemes,Copy !req
27. power chords,
and, most of all...Copy !req
28. presentation!Copy !req
29. He still sends shivers
down my spine.Copy !req
30. And then I defeated him,Copy !req
31. which completed my training
and bada-bing,Copy !req
32. I'm the world's
greatest villain!Copy !req
33. And now, I'm a hero but
I'd still really like to knowCopy !req
34. where that brush went.Copy !req
35. Now, where was I?Copy !req
36. - Happy birthday, girl!Copy !req
37. Oh, you got me a drone?Copy !req
38. Yeah. You can use your phone
to control itCopy !req
39. and talk through it.
Hide behind your couch,Copy !req
40. and you can use it to scare
the new city comptroller.Copy !req
41. - Not that I tried that.
- So cool, Roxie!Copy !req
42. Thank you so much.Copy !req
43. And me?Copy !req
44. I have... a very big surprise.Copy !req
45. It's a, a very surprising
thing,Copy !req
46. even to me.Copy !req
47. It's okay you forgotCopy !req
48. because I know exactly
what I want for my birthday.Copy !req
49. You told me you'd train me
to be a crimefighter.Copy !req
50. - That's what I want.
- I never told you that. Ow!Copy !req
51. You help me,Copy !req
52. I'll train you to be
a crimefighter.Copy !req
53. You have my word.Copy !req
54. Well... it appears I did.Copy !req
55. Sadly, I don't think
you're ready.Copy !req
56. You might have to put in
a little more work first.Copy !req
57. Or a lot more.
Actually,Copy !req
58. I need you to sweep
the curbs around the lair,Copy !req
59. lest Roxanne send
her filth police after me.Copy !req
60. I don't have filth police.
But...Copy !req
61. - Memo. Patrol cars with mop wheels.Copy !req
62. Little brooms in holsters.Copy !req
63. I don't wanna sweep curbs
on my birthday!Copy !req
64. Uh, maybe I'm one of thoseCopy !req
65. make-you-do-chores-until-
surprise!-Copy !req
66. you-know-how-
to-do-everything teachers.Copy !req
67. Oh, but really,
I'm not a teacher at all.Copy !req
68. Self-teaching is the best.
That's what I've always said.Copy !req
69. But you had a teacher!
The hairbrush guy!Copy !req
70. Trust me, you're better off
teaching yourself. Bye!Copy !req
71. That was shockingly harsh.Copy !req
72. Would you like me
to invite her backCopy !req
73. and destroy her surprise?Copy !req
74. Which is?
I'm so excited to hearCopy !req
75. what you make up
right this second.Copy !req
76. I'm gonna, uh, make a cake.Copy !req
77. A cake for Keiko!
Nailed it.Copy !req
78. Come on.Copy !req
79. You don't know how to make
a glass of water.Copy !req
80. How hard can it be?Copy !req
81. Have you ever heard
the term "piece of cake"?Copy !req
82. Chum!
To the hot refrigerator!Copy !req
83. - New drone camera check. Looks good.Copy !req
84. Welcome to "Keiko's Rules
For Defending Your City!"Copy !req
85. So, Megamind thinks
I'm not ready for training.Copy !req
86. Well, I'm not ready
to not be ready.Copy !req
87. And since he wanted me
to teach myself,Copy !req
88. I borrowed this. Boom!
Disguise generator.Copy !req
89. To prove I'm hero material,Copy !req
90. I'm gonna infiltrate
the Doom SyndicateCopy !req
91. and find out
their next big moves.Copy !req
92. Luckily, Megamind just put
shadow boy in the slammer, so...Copy !req
93. - What up!Copy !req
94. I'm Nighty-Knight.
I'm dumb and think I'm scary,Copy !req
95. and Keiko Morita is awesome.Copy !req
96. To find their hideout,Copy !req
97. I encircled their metadata
to pinpointCopy !req
98. - the exact location of... Wait.Copy !req
99. That's their secret hideout?Copy !req
100. - Man, these guys are doofuses.Copy !req
101. - Look at me! I am kicking
your derriere! Ho, ho, ho! -Copy !req
102. Come on, guys!Copy !req
103. This is a communal workspace!Copy !req
104. We're supposed to be
a community!Copy !req
105. Quiet! Behemoth having
hard time with 'puter.Copy !req
106. - I'm gonna call the cops on you!Copy !req
107. Then, I'll be the one laughing!Copy !req
108. Ha, ha, ha— Ah!Copy !req
109. Behemoth say quiet down!Copy !req
110. You no listen, so you go up!Copy !req
111. You guys are a bunch of
bullies!Copy !req
112. His feet are dangling!Copy !req
113. Keiko-As-Nighty-Knight:
Dark tidings! And other dark... things.Copy !req
114. Yes, I have freed myself
from prison.Copy !req
115. Now, what's our next dark plan?Copy !req
116. Nighty-Knight,
where are the sandwiches?Copy !req
117. Uh... the what?Copy !req
118. Has prison made you dumb-dumb?Copy !req
119. When one of us escape,
they bring sandwiches for all.Copy !req
120. Oh! Yeah.
I was gonna pick some up,Copy !req
121. but, you know,
darkness and... stuff.Copy !req
122. So,Copy !req
123. what are we gonna do next
to bring old Megamind down?Copy !req
124. Let me get this straight.Copy !req
125. You go to jail for a day,
forget the sandwiches,Copy !req
126. and think we're gonna start
letting you in on planning? No!Copy !req
127. We plan, you do chores.Copy !req
128. Drop my lucky beret
at ze cleaners.Copy !req
129. - Actually, we all have
filthy outfits to go there. -Copy !req
130. That's right.Copy !req
131. Of all the villains
I could've impersonated,Copy !req
132. I picked the one
that gets chores.Copy !req
133. - Ah! The cake is ready.Copy !req
134. Sir, perhaps you should've
used,Copy !req
135. you know, a recipe.Copy !req
136. If a birthday is going
to be a surprise,Copy !req
137. shouldn't the ingredients
be as well?Copy !req
138. Now, let's marvel at its
sponge-like fluffiness.Copy !req
139. Well, that certainly
was a surprise.Copy !req
140. Now, with a slight
adjustment...Copy !req
141. And a pinch of love!Copy !req
142. this first layer will be
about as moist as a cake can be.Copy !req
143. - Ah!Copy !req
144. Achilles' high-tops!Copy !req
145. Are you okay?Copy !req
146. Eh, it's all going
according to plan.Copy !req
147. Ah, so 12-degree burns
were part of your plan.Copy !req
148. Oh, well done, Sir!Copy !req
149. You see, Chum?
With trial and error,Copy !req
150. one can accomplish anything.Copy !req
151. - Chum: Wah!Copy !req
152. - Help! Get it off! Get it off!Copy !req
153. - Just to be clear,Copy !req
154. this is for Keiko's birthday
this year, right?Copy !req
155. - Behemoth appreciate help.Copy !req
156. Didn't know you knew
about 'puters.Copy !req
157. Keiko-As-Nighty-Knight:
Are you sure you have to print this entire collection?Copy !req
158. It Behemoth's favorite comic strip.Copy !req
159. Funny cat keeps
Behemoth temper in check.Copy !req
160. - You know, all of your failed print jobsCopy !req
161. - are jamming up the queue.Copy !req
162. You be patientCopy !req
163. or Behemoth crush
and melt your bones!Copy !req
164. See? Behemoth need all
10,000 pages of Happy Pizza Cat.Copy !req
165. - Control alt delete,Copy !req
166. and print-a-doodle-doo.Copy !req
167. Behemoth thank you.Copy !req
168. - Oh! Ah!Copy !req
169. Hey, I just want to apologizeCopy !req
170. for the behavior
of my coworkers.Copy !req
171. Thanks.
That means a lot.Copy !req
172. I'm grateful one of you
is capable of kindness.Copy !req
173. - Huh?Copy !req
174. Who are you?Copy !req
175. I work for Megamind!Copy !req
176. Can you get my back
if I need it?Copy !req
177. Well, I would,
but I'm too afraidCopy !req
178. of what these bullies
are capable of.Copy !req
179. Come on.
You're the former mayor!Copy !req
180. - You got a little
cutthroat in you. - Huh.Copy !req
181. Well, I suppose
I did crush Bulldog McGooCopy !req
182. in that runoff election.Copy !req
183. Look, if Megamind can help
put these guys back in prison,Copy !req
184. then I'll do what I can to
help.Copy !req
185. And call me Jody.Copy !req
186. Jody Smelt. I do it all.
Taxes, food delivery...Copy !req
187. Oh!
And blown-glass figurines, huh?Copy !req
188. - These are cool.
- Lady Doppler: Nighty-Knight! We need you!Copy !req
189. - Gotta go.Copy !req
190. We saw you typing out there,
and we thought,Copy !req
191. "Yes! One of us finally
learned how to type!"Copy !req
192. - Me make big ideasCopy !req
193. to help big boss take down
Megamind. You type.Copy !req
194. Keiko-As-Nighty-Knight:
Big boss? Who's bigger than us? Am I right?Copy !req
195. - Oh, mais oui, mais oui!Copy !req
196. He's much funnier now
that he knows how to type.Copy !req
197. - D'accord!Copy !req
198. To take down Megamind,
we should first...Copy !req
199. Nighty-Knight:
What in the blazes is going on?Copy !req
200. Keiko-As-Nighty-Knight:
Uh, I'll tell you what's going on!Copy !req
201. - I'm the real Nighty-Knight!
- Nighty-Knight: No,Copy !req
202. I'm the real Nighty-Knight.Copy !req
203. Well, this one
brought sandwiches.Copy !req
204. Yeah, but this one
knows how to type.Copy !req
205. Keiko-As-Nighty-Knight:
As the real, actual Nighty-Knight,Copy !req
206. I can totally
throw my shadow, right?Copy !req
207. N-No way this loser
impostor can shadow-throw.Copy !req
208. Nighty-Knight:
Let's see if this imposterCopy !req
209. can conjure up
an entire unicorn.Copy !req
210. - Made of darkness!Copy !req
211. - What?
- Weak shadow, bro.Copy !req
212. Keiko-As-Nighty-Knight:
So weak. Do I even need to throw mine?Copy !req
213. I mean, you can pick him
if you want,Copy !req
214. but you'll lose
these magic typing fingers.Copy !req
215. I declare the Nighty-Knight
who can type is the real one.Copy !req
216. - Nighty-Knight: No!
Let me go again. -Copy !req
217. What is going on?Copy !req
218. I can hardly
hear myself scheming.Copy !req
219. Keiko-As-Nighty-Knight:
Whoa...Copy !req
220. Either Nighty-Knight has a twin sibling,Copy !req
221. and Heaven help us
if that's true,Copy !req
222. or we have an impostor
in our midst.Copy !req
223. We cannot figure out
who is the real one!Copy !req
224. Hm. Wild guess,Copy !req
225. maybe not the one wearing
Megamind's disguise generator.Copy !req
226. - Sacre bleu!
- Why didn't we see that?Copy !req
227. Honestly,
if I had a head,Copy !req
228. I'd shake it in disappointment.Copy !req
229. Now, let's see
who our surprise guest is.Copy !req
230. Busted. Huh?Copy !req
231. Hi, Busted.
Me Behemoth.Copy !req
232. - Megamind: Okay, look.Copy !req
233. Megamind. That's...Copy !req
234. beautiful.Copy !req
235. Oh...
Mind if I take a little taste?Copy !req
236. Don't move a muscle!Copy !req
237. Sorry. Just look at it
for a few more seconds.Copy !req
238. Close your eyes
even tighter than before.Copy !req
239. Believe in me,Copy !req
240. knowing in your heart
that I have the abilityCopy !req
241. to create a perfect cake
for Keiko.Copy !req
242. - Something's fishy.
- Sorry. That's me.Copy !req
243. I'm a bit overdue
for a bowl cleaning.Copy !req
244. - No, not you, Chum.Copy !req
245. Oh, gimme a break!Copy !req
246. A cardboard cutout of a cakeCopy !req
247. might not be the mind-blowing
surprise you'd hoped for.Copy !req
248. I don't know.
It's a pretty nice picture.Copy !req
249. I'd love that
for my birthday, Sir.Copy !req
250. Fine.Copy !req
251. Making a cake
is actually hard for me.Copy !req
252. There, I said it.Copy !req
253. It's okay.Copy !req
254. You know, I can teach you
how to make a cake.Copy !req
255. You? You can't bake!Copy !req
256. Those muffins you made tasted
like charred hair follicles.Copy !req
257. I'll have you know
I've been taking online classes,Copy !req
258. and my food is much more
edible.Copy !req
259. So, do you want my help?Copy !req
260. I don't need help
from you or anyone!Copy !req
261. Believe me,
self-teaching is the best.Copy !req
262. If you teach me,
the only way I can be sureCopy !req
263. I've mastered cake-making
is if I defeat you in battle,Copy !req
264. and I really don't want
to do that to you.Copy !req
265. I-I think your last teacherCopy !req
266. may have given you
the wrong idea about teaching.Copy !req
267. - Oh, so many wrong ideas.Copy !req
268. Machiavillain was
villainy incarnate.Copy !req
269. Pure evil.Copy !req
270. Evil... Evil... Evil...Copy !req
271. Can I get you some gum? Boba tea?Copy !req
272. Oh, silly me.
You must be so lost.Copy !req
273. I'm Machiavillain,
an old friend of Megamind's.Copy !req
274. It is a pleasure to finally
make your acquaintance, Keiko.Copy !req
275. It's very clear to me
that you're a gifted studentCopy !req
276. in desperate need
of the right teacher.Copy !req
277. Actually, Megamind promised—Copy !req
278. Megamind.Copy !req
279. He could've been
the greatest villainCopy !req
280. the world has ever seen.Copy !req
281. He had so much potential.Copy !req
282. It must be heartbreakingCopy !req
283. he doesn't see yours.Copy !req
284. That's... actually why I'm
here.Copy !req
285. Figured I'd give evil a shot.Copy !req
286. And you'd be a much
better teacher than Megamind.Copy !req
287. How do we know she's not
just trying to spy on usCopy !req
288. - for her old boss?
- Machiavillain: Hm...Copy !req
289. She's right. You'll have
to prove your loyaltyCopy !req
290. before we can start
your training.Copy !req
291. Yeah, sure. Okay.Copy !req
292. What do you want me to do?
Rob a bank? Destroy the moon?Copy !req
293. - I want you to stealCopy !req
294. Megamind's baby binky.Copy !req
295. That's it. Seriously?Copy !req
296. Think of it as a small testCopy !req
297. before we let you in on
our bigger plans.Copy !req
298. But know this.Copy !req
299. You try anything funny,Copy !req
300. and you will force me
to do something...Copy !req
301. - most regrettable.Copy !req
302. Maybe I will take that boba.Copy !req
303. Soft enough that you can't
use it for hockey,Copy !req
304. and it's not walking off
on its own power.Copy !req
305. Clearly, I have nailed this!Copy !req
306. Maybe it needs more salt.Copy !req
307. How can it be that bad?Copy !req
308. Maybe when we can move again,Copy !req
309. you finally let me teach you
how to make a cake.Copy !req
310. That might be a good idea.Copy !req
311. Okay, drone.
Let's do this.Copy !req
312. Keiko Recording
Yoo-hoo! Drones rule! Brainbots drool!Copy !req
313. - Whoa!Copy !req
314. This is more than just a binky.Copy !req
315. This has some kind of... power.Copy !req
316. I can't just hand this
to Machiavillain,Copy !req
317. but I have to find out
what his plan is!Copy !req
318. Oh, think, Keiko.
Think!Copy !req
319. If you want an exact copy,Copy !req
320. it's gonna take me
about an hour.Copy !req
321. I don't have an hour!Copy !req
322. I'm giving the Doomers the
fake,Copy !req
323. then I gotta get the OG
back to Megamind lickety-split.Copy !req
324. So, this is to pull one over
on those creeps, right?Copy !req
325. I'll do it in the 15 fastest
minutes of your life.Copy !req
326. What's the real reason
you won't train Keiko?Copy !req
327. That's personal.
I'll never tell.Copy !req
328. Oh, you better tell,
or I'm gonna tickle you.Copy !req
329. Good luck. We can't move.Copy !req
330. Well, look at this.Copy !req
331. Stop!
Ah! Please stop!Copy !req
332. Not until you fess up.Copy !req
333. Now, what's more tickly
than your armpit?Copy !req
334. - Please! Not my ears!Copy !req
335. So, why won't you train her?Copy !req
336. Because I don't want
to put Keiko throughCopy !req
337. what I went through!
Especially the whole...Copy !req
338. defeat-me-to-prove-
her-mastery thing!Copy !req
339. Oh!
Oh, thank goodness.Copy !req
340. Just because that's the way
you were taughtCopy !req
341. doesn't mean
you'll do the same to Keiko.Copy !req
342. Look, if I teach you
to make a cake,Copy !req
343. I promise you won't
have to defeat me.Copy !req
344. Okay, okay.
You have a deal.Copy !req
345. Great. I'll gather ingredients.
Uh, you regain mobility.Copy !req
346. Wait. How did it wear off
on you so quickly?Copy !req
347. I was faking.
You really thinkCopy !req
348. I'd swallow something
you cooked?Copy !req
349. Come on...Copy !req
350. Fake's in your hand.Copy !req
351. I've marked it with
a little lightning bolt.Copy !req
352. - See?
- Keiko: Cool.Copy !req
353. The original is in
your backpack. Good luck.Copy !req
354. - Mm, yes.Copy !req
355. I can sense the power.Copy !req
356. The binky has entered the room.Copy !req
357. - Mission accomplished.
- (zap)Copy !req
358. Huh?Copy !req
359. Well, you've done well, Keiko.Copy !req
360. Come. You've earned the coveted
Seat of Dishonor at our table.Copy !req
361. - Nighty-Knight: Aw...Copy !req
362. Aw, yeah.Copy !req
363. Now you're ready to hear
the details of my genius plan.Copy !req
364. In fact, you're
an integral part of it.Copy !req
365. Keiko Morita,Copy !req
366. the "expert in
all things Megamind,"Copy !req
367. didn't know that this binkyCopy !req
368. is one of the most powerful
energy sources in the universe!Copy !req
369. - Huh?
- And it is the final component neededCopy !req
370. to restore my body to its
stunning and glamorous glory.Copy !req
371. Power up
the regeneration machine!Copy !req
372. Lady Doppler:
Thanks to Megamind's nincompooperyCopy !req
373. when he was playing mayor,Copy !req
374. we acquired the perfect vessel
for the machine.Copy !req
375. Ta-da!Copy !req
376. Nighty-Knight:
While Megamind was obsessing over his social media,Copy !req
377. I managed to steal this
genetically modified starfishCopy !req
378. with enhanced regeneration
powers from the aquarium.Copy !req
379. Merci to Megamind,Copy !req
380. we not only managed
to get ze isotopesCopy !req
381. we needed to fuel ze machine...Copy !req
382. Evil friend steal brush with hair sample.Copy !req
383. We use DNA from hair sample
to rebuild big boss' body.Copy !req
384. And now, we have the power
of the binkyCopy !req
385. to bring my plan to fruition.Copy !req
386. Hate to interrupt your
long cliché villain explanation,Copy !req
387. but I just gave you
a fake binky, dude.Copy !req
388. And I got the real one
right here. See ya!Copy !req
389. - Get her!Copy !req
390. She's around here somewhere!Copy !req
391. Megamind! It's Keiko! Bad news.Copy !req
392. - I'm in a jam
and need your help. -Copy !req
393. I'm behind a fire truck
parked on the corner of—Copy !req
394. - Seize her! Huh?Copy !req
395. Keiko
Maybe you guys should be called the Dumb Syndicate!Copy !req
396. Ha, ha!
Smile for the blooper reel!Copy !req
397. Lady Doppler:
How did she get so slippery?Copy !req
398. Tricky girl turned
into flying machine!Copy !req
399. Ah! Oh no!Copy !req
400. - (zap)Copy !req
401. - Whoa!Copy !req
402. Ah!Copy !req
403. - Whoa!Copy !req
404. - Ah, ha!Copy !req
405. - Ah!
- Ho, ho!Copy !req
406. - You will double-cross your friends.Copy !req
407. You will double-cross
your friends.Copy !req
408. Uh, if I insist.Copy !req
409. - Have at you!
- Nighty-Knight: Ah!Copy !req
410. Not cool, bro! Ow!
Personal space, man!Copy !req
411. Keiko, you're just
too smart for 'em.Copy !req
412. Nighty-Knight:
We failed you most darkly.Copy !req
413. The child escaped.Copy !req
414. And why would that matter?Copy !req
415. It's the fake!Copy !req
416. You see, a long cliché
villain explanationCopy !req
417. is always a good distractionCopy !req
418. when swapping out
fake binkies for real ones.Copy !req
419. When Megamind finds out
what his little pupil did,Copy !req
420. - it'll rip their team to
shreds!Copy !req
421. Megamind,
I-I have to tell you something.Copy !req
422. No, no, no! Not a word,Copy !req
423. as I am about to present
your birthday surprise.Copy !req
424. - But this is really—
- Shushie shush shushles.Copy !req
425. I present to you...Copy !req
426. your very own cake!Copy !req
427. You really shouldn't have.
Believe me.Copy !req
428. But, I made it myself!Copy !req
429. You deserve every crumb.Copy !req
430. - Will you do us the honors?
- I-I really shouldn't.Copy !req
431. - Ugh, just cut the cake.
- Oh, come on, Keiko! It's your birthday!Copy !req
432. If you insist.Copy !req
433. - Um...Copy !req
434. Something's in there.Copy !req
435. Well, reach in
and find out what!Copy !req
436. A hero costume?Copy !req
437. I apologize for earlier.Copy !req
438. You're ready to begin
your training.Copy !req
439. No. I'm not ready
for this at all.Copy !req
440. Keiko, are you alright?Copy !req
441. Uh, totally. I...Copy !req
442. My mom has a thing
for me at home, so I gotta go.Copy !req
443. Just gonna leave
this here for now.Copy !req
444. Thanks, but... I don't
deserve you guys.Copy !req
445. Now we can really get to work.Copy !req