1. - (line straining)
- (grunting)
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2. - Huh?
- Hello.
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3. Yes, I am aware of the damage,
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4. and we're working on it.
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5. Were you aware that we're giving
away a free coffee
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6. to anyone inconvenienced
by a Megamind battle?
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7. - Let me in, Christina!
- Oh, no, no, no!
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8. We have a very strict
no nuisance policy!
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9. (musical beeping)
According to my nuisance detector,
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10. you're actually the nuisance,
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11. and your readings
are off the charts!
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12. - You let me go!
- (sighs) Congratulations, guys.
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13. You're both nuisances!
Let him in.
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14. I— Ah!
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15. You did that on purpose.
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16. She's crazy busy
dealing with the people
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17. mad at the damage you caused
playing hero out there,
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18. so make this quick.
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19. Ah-chnoo-sance!
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20. (scoffs) That was not
a real sneeze.
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21. Roxie, I have some tech
that will help us
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22. keep Metrocity safer
than a baby in bubble wrap.
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23. I'm happy you're excited
about your invention,
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24. but I'm slammed today.
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25. I swear, I don't think I could
handle just one more thing.
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26. - (news music playing)
- Lady Doppler (on computer): Attention!
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27. This is an evil weather alert!
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28. Good morning, Metro City!
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29. - Ooh! Lady Doppler—
- Shh!
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30. I have a forecast for today.
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31. Dark and stormy
over the mayor's office.
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32. The map says sunshine.
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33. She always was terrible
at weather.
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34. And for Roxanne Ritchi,
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35. the tattletale former reporter
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36. who got me fired
all those years ago,
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37. - 100% chance of revenge!
- (zapping, fizzling)
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38. She's good.
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39. Hey, just because I'm a hero
doesn't mean
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40. I've lost my appreciation
for quality treachery.
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41. She shot lightning at me!
And, yes, I did get her fired.
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42. But now, I have to arrange
a bodyguard,
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43. cancel public appearances,
probably build a bunker.
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44. There, there. Relax your boo-tay
on that ergonomic chair, Roxie.
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45. Stopping baddies is my bag.
Fear not!
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46. It's easy for you to say,
"Fear not."
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47. You're walking around all safe
with a pew-pew ray gun.
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48. It's more of
a chicka-pow ray gun.
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49. But, my wits protect this city
more than my weapon.
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50. Which brings me
to the purpose of my visit.
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51. - My new gadget.
- (whirring)
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52. - (mysterious music playing)
- (zapping)
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53. Ow!
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54. (zap)
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55. (grunts) Huh? What the?
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56. I look... like... you.
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57. - Why do you look like me?
- Switcheroo microchips!
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58. The hottest new crime-stopping
tech from yours truly.
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59. (gasps) And sound like me.
I-I sound like you!
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60. It's a twist
on the disguise generator.
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61. Explain any scenario in which
this would be useful.
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62. It's... great for
a good bamboozlement.
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63. Can't you just turn it off?
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64. It's more of a wear-off thing.
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65. How long does it last?
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66. - A few days, tops.
- Days?
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67. I'm the mayor! I have people
waiting to see me now.
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68. Don't be such a nervous Nadine.
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69. How hard is it being mayor
of Metrocity?
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70. First, it's pronounced
Metro City.
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71. - (intercom buzzes)
- (yelps, groans)
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72. - Second, don't let
the intercom scare you. - (beep)
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73. Christina (on intercom):
Madam Mayor, the gentleman from the parking garage is here.
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74. Great. He's already upset about
you blowing up his garage.
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75. Why? The jaywalker's getaway car
was parked there.
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76. So were a thousand other cars!
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77. I won't apologize
for being thorough.
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78. You will do exactly as I say.
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79. This stays hush-hush.
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80. If anyone finds out,
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81. it'll seem like I'm not
in control of the city.
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82. - And that's the last—
Whoa. Whoa! - (thud)
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83. Oh... (sighs)
Your head is so big.
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84. It's like balancing a turkey
on a toothpick!
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85. You need to find me
a new place to park cars!
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86. Just park them in the park.
It's right there in the name.
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87. - I'm allowed to do that?
- I do it all the time.
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88. It's not like there's
a law against it.
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89. Roxie-As-Megamind:
There's absolutely a law against it!
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90. He can't park cars
in the public park!
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91. Is this thing on?
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92. - (sotto) Yes, it's on.
- Huh?
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93. (normal)
The things I say under my breath are not for you.
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94. Roxie-As-Megamind:
Your request is not possible.
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95. Your request is not possible.
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96. Roxie-As-Megamind:
Thank you for stopping by.
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97. Thank you for stopping by.
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98. (sotto)
Really? That's it? Can I give him a muffin or something?
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99. - I'd like a muffin.
- No muffin.
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100. I withdraw my offer of muffins.
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101. Figures. I had a feeling
you'd do nothing for me.
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102. If I remember to vote,
It won't be for you.
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103. Let me tell you something
I learned in the few seconds
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104. I've been mayor.
People like to hear "yes."
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105. It's all that "no" stuff
that makes you unpopular.
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106. No wonder you're stressed out
all the time.
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107. This should be an easy job.
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108. The job would be a lot easier
without all of your
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109. swing-by-the-seat-
of-your-pants antics.
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110. Now,
you're attacking pants antics,
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111. the one sport I'm good at!
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112. Give me this pew-pew ray gun,
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113. and I'd do 10 times
the saving you do
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114. with half the damage!
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115. Ha! Maybe a 13% reduction.
At most.
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116. - (gasps)
- (chair squeaking)
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117. O-Okay... Uh,
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118. there are more angry people here
who wanna complain to you.
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119. - Let them in.
- Get rid of them.
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120. The mayor isn't really
feeling well,
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121. and we thought maybe
she should rest.
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122. I've made
a remarkable recovery!
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123. Christina,
send in the complainers!
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124. Don't you have to present
Keiko Morita
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125. with the Citizen Heroism Award?
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126. I don't see that here.
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127. That's because the defender
of the city gives that medal.
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128. You must be getting
our schedules confused
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129. - for no real reason at all.
- You heard the mayor!
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130. - (shoes squeak)
- Playtime is over! Move it!
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131. - But— But—
- Let's go, let's go! Brilliant retort, as always.
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132. - Do nothing. Say nothing.
- (door slams)
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133. Ugh, and let her wallow
in the hatred of her citizenry?
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134. No.
I will make Roxanne Ritchie
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135. the most popular mayor
in Metrocity history!
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136. - (maniacal laugh)
- (dramatic music playing)
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137. - (door opens)
- (dramatic music stops)
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138. Are you speaking
in third person?
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139. Maybe.
Megamind does it,
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140. and he's way cooler than you.
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141. - Roxie-As-Megamind: Metro—AH.
- (feedback)
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142. Metrocity is fortunate enough
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143. to have someone
as brave as Keiko
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144. among its citizens.
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145. Or ci-tie-zens.
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146. And let's not forget
the importance of a good mayor
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147. 'cause you've got one.
She can be overlooked, you know.
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148. She's really doing
everything she can
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149. about all the damage.
Or de-mage.
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150. Anyway, for her bravery
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151. in helping stop
the Doom Syndicate,
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152. I present Keiko Morita
with this award.
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153. - Let's hear it for her,
Metrocity! - (Keiko gasps)
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154. Roxanne?
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155. No. I'm Megamind.
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156. I appreciate you taking time
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157. from throwing darts
at the mayor's picture
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158. to give me this award.
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159. He does that?
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160. Aha! You are Roxanne!
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161. (sighs) Okay, okay.
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162. (sighs) He tried some
switcheroo tech on me,
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163. and it's not wearing off.
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164. And how is that a bad thing?
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165. Oh, I'd love to be
Megamind for a day.
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166. Chasing bad guys, zapping stuff
with the pa-pow ray gun.
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167. Oh, you know what? We should
totally stop some crimes!
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168. No! I need to get back
to my office.
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169. He's at my desk,
looking like me,
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170. and I have to make sure
he doesn't do any mayor stuff!
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171. You could do that,
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172. or you could not be
a totally lame person
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173. and stop some crimes!
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174. - Yeah, but—
- Hear me out.
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175. This could also help
Megamind's web channel.
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176. I need some content where
he's a little more personable,
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177. and that comes naturally to you.
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178. Thanks, I get it,
but we shouldn't press our luck.
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179. - Also, his pants
are really tight. - (pants squeaking)
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180. I've got a super-wedgie
going on.
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181. So sorry I'm late, Sir.
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182. I was trying to butter toast
with some very cold butter.
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183. - Oh, it's fine.
- No, it's not!
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184. I'm a terrible sidekick.
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185. Oh. Um, you know,
I don't say this enough,
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186. but I appreciate you.
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187. Sir? Are you okay?
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188. - Maybe we should check
your temperature. - (radio beeps)
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189. Officer (on radio):
Attention, all units. Purse snatching in progress.
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190. Shall we pursue, Sir?
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191. Oh, I don't think
that's a very good—
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192. Dude! You gotta spend time
in Megamind's shoes,
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193. - see how it feels.
- Uh,
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194. pretty sure he does
that every day, Keiko.
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195. I guess this could be a chance
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196. to prove that it is possible
to save the day
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197. without causing so much
pain-in-the-mayoral-rear damage.
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198. - (ray gun whirs)
- Plus, I get to fire the pew-pew ray gun.
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199. I thought we agreed it was
more of a chicka-pow ray gun.
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200. - (pop song playing on radio)
- (gasps)
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201. Oh, uh, sorry, Sir.
I know you hate this song.
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202. I don't, actually.
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203. Just yesterday,
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204. you said it was the national
anthem of throwing up.
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205. Well, I've changed my mind.
It's catchy.
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206. Makes me wanna dance
in my too-tight pants.
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207. - Turn it up.
- Okay, then!
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208. - (engine roaring)
- Can I get a "waka waka woo" up in here?
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209. - Mayor's office.
- (phone chatter)
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210. You want to place a giant
snow globe in the art district?
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211. In the middle of the street?
In the middle of summer?
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212. - I can't think of
a single reason why not! Yes! - (phone ringing)
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213. - You've got the mayor.
- (phone chatter)
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214. Parking enforcement
is overwhelmed?
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215. - Well, I say yes
to giving them the day off! - (phone ringing)
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216. Dog lovers wanna hold a rally
in the city square?
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217. - That's a big yes!
- (phone ringing)
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218. Cat lovers wanna hold a rally
in the city square?
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219. The more the merrier!
Y-E-S spells yes!
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220. Whee!
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221. (panting)
I need to hit the gym more!
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222. Please stop!
I have a rock in my boot!
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223. Uh-oh. Getting the pukies.
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224. (gasps) I'm never gonna
catch this guy.
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225. Time for old pew-pew!
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226. - (zapping)
- Wh-Whoa! Whoa! Ah!
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227. Huh?
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228. - (zapping)
- Chum.
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229. What do you think is the best
setting on this right now?
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230. You're asking my opinion, Sir?
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231. He turned down the next block!
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232. Chum, cut him off!
I need a good ending.
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233. - Roxie-As-Megamind: Ha, ha!
- Huh?
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234. - Got you!
- (scared yelp)
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235. - (zapping)
- (struggling, yelling)
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236. - Oh... (gasps)
- (whirring)
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237. (laughs) See ya!
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238. - (clang)
- (grunts)
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239. Woo! What a rush!
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240. And I have to say, I don't
think we did that much damage.
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241. - (rumbling)
- (people screaming)
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242. - Ooh, we did much damage.
- (car alarms blare)
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243. Now, give us a pose
and a line.
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244. Um...
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245. Remember,
I did not do this alone.
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246. It took all three of us
to stop this purse snatcher.
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247. He was very fast.
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248. A Megamind
who takes direction.
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249. This is a dream!
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250. Hey-hey!
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251. You know what is going
to send Roxanne's—
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252. Uh, I mean my approval ratings
through the roof?
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253. Showmanship!
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254. - (fizzling)
- (gasps)
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255. I promise, your next public appearance
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256. is going to be electrifying!
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257. - (screaming)
- (explosion)
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258. Oh, Megamind.
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259. Have you always been this
strong, smart, and appealing?
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260. Thank you for
sending my popularity
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261. - into the stratosphere!
- (news music playing)
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262. Anchor (on TV):
Megamind has been at it again.
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263. - Citizens are fed up. The meal?
- (people screaming)
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264. Megamind's
excessive destruction.
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265. He turned me
into a bullion cube.
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266. My doctor says I'm not
supposed to be a bullion cube.
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267. What in the name
of Darwin's donut?
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268. - She's ruining my rep! Roxie!
- (beep)
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269. - Come in.
- I'm here.
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270. We're just stuck in
some sort of traffic nightmare.
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271. What exactly have you
been doing out there?
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272. It's taken a lot of work
to make you popular,
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273. and you're destroying the city
in my name?
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274. I am not— Wait.
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275. What do you mean,
make me popular?
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276. Have you been mayoring?
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277. (nervous laugh)
Funny story.
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278. I might have made
some appearances.
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279. - Appearances?
As in more than one appearance? - (cars honking)
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280. And maybe changed
some parking laws.
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281. Ah!
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282. Did you approve of that gaudy
art snow globe I kept rejecting?
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283. Apparently,
people love giant things
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284. where they're not
supposed to be.
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285. - I don't get it either.
- (muffled crowd yelling)
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286. - Hey, move it!
- Get outta the road!
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287. I gotta get to work here!
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288. There's a war
brewing outside, ma'am!
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289. You said dog rally,
not cat rally.
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290. Dogs aren't smart enough
to rally!
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291. This is preposterous.
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292. Why can't you all get along?
Like cats and dogs!
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293. We should get you
back inside, ma'am.
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294. I'm reaping what I've sown.
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295. Things are coming back
to bite me in the butt.
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296. - I've created a monster.
And other clichés! - (beep)
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297. - Roxie-As-Megamind:
What's happening? - So, listen. Sure,
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298. I did some mayoring wrong,
and now they all hate me or you.
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299. (sighs) W-We're gonna
have to fix this.
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300. The people need to hear from
their calm, collected mayor.
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301. Megamind-As-Roxie:
I don't know how to quell the masses.
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302. Remember, they're looking
for leadership.
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303. First, get a podium
in front of you.
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304. Now, give a speech
that's stern but fair.
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305. Citizens of Metrocity.
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306. Start acting civilized
or feel my wrath!
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307. - (all gasp)
- No!
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308. Do not threaten the citizens.
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309. - (dramatic music playing)
- (thunder clapping)
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310. Oh, good.
Lady Doppler just showed up.
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311. Didn't you say you'd handle her?
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312. Sorry. I got distracted
by the whole becoming you thing.
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313. Good news is
she's after me now,
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314. so you're it.
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315. Fine. You calm the mob.
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316. I think I've spent enough time
in your shoes
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317. to keep this
weather witch at bay.
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318. - (evil laughter)
- (electricity fizzling)
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319. (quietly)
Roxie, they're staring at me
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320. with their ordinary eyes.
What do I say?
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321. Megamind! Your girlfriend
shoulda worn a raincoat
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322. 'cause a blizzard's
coming to City Hall!
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323. A raincoat for snow?
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324. Do you even know
what weather is?
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325. A raincoat for snow?
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326. Do you even know
what weather is?
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327. (sotto)
That was for Doppler, not you.
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328. Hey, Doppler,
here's a forecast for you.
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329. A butt-kicking front coming in
with a 100% chance of defeat!
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330. (sotto)
You're getting some great lines in on Doppler,
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331. but I need great lines, too.
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332. - Feel my thunder! (yells)
- Ah!
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333. - Oh!
- (ear microchip clattering)
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334. - (static)
- Hello? Hello?
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335. Not ideal.
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336. You do realize that was
lightning, not thunder, right?
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337. Catch me if you can.
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338. We can't let her get
to Megamind!
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339. She's already
gotten past you, Sir.
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340. - Way past, in fact.
- Uh, I meant Roxanne.
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341. - Let's go!
- (dramatic music playing)
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342. - Hello? Hello?
- (crowd yelling)
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343. I gotta say something.
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344. Citizens of Metro... Ci... ty.
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345. I think you're all wonderful.
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346. And marvelous! And...
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347. really cool and stuff.
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348. - The end. And mic drop?
- (feedback)
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349. Not one more step.
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350. I got you, Gail.
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351. Really?
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352. Womp, womp.
Oh, what happened to you?
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353. You used to be better than this.
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354. - Pathetic!
- (yelps, grunts)
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355. - (evil laughter)
- (dramatic sting)
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356. - (booing)
- Christina: Okay, okay!
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357. Everyone, just calm down!
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358. - (fruit flying)
- Ma'am,
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359. I advise you to open your mouth
and let words come out.
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360. What would Roxanne do?
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361. She wouldn't vaporize anyone,
so that's out.
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362. She would also
say "no" a lot.
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363. Ollo— Hello.
How's it going?
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364. - (crowd booing)
- Okay, okay.
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365. You're mad because
I used to say "no" too much,
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366. and now,
I've said "yes" too much.
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367. What I've learned is there's
a time for each of those,
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368. and now is a "no" time.
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369. Like no division.
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370. We can all work together
to make things easier.
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371. - Eh, I don't know about that.
- She's not wrong.
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372. What about no fighting?
That's good!
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373. If you're a dog lover,
don't fight with the cat lovers.
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374. They're just like you,
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375. only they prefer
to love an animal that actively hates them
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376. and goes to the bathroom
in a box in their home.
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377. The point is,
we're all the same.
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378. We're all weird, but,
you know, a-a good weird.
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379. And if we can all imagine
walking in each other's shoes,
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380. maybe we can learn to appreciate
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381. and respect
each other's weirdness.
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382. Then, none of us are weird!
We're just us.
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383. - Metrocity!
- (cheering)
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384. - (thunder rumbles)
- (crowd gasps)
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385. - (zapping)
- (crowd screams)
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386. We interrupt this boring speech
for a weather alert.
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387. An earthquake's a-comin'!
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388. An earthquake isn't weather.
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389. - Why is everybody
on my case today? - (fizzling)
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390. (gasps) Roxie is in danger.
Let's go!
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391. You go.
I'm sure it'll be easier
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392. to defeat Lady Doppler
without me.
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393. That doesn't sound
like you, Sir.
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394. Yeah, we're gonna need
confident Megamind back.
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395. But my pew-pew ray gun
is busted. (blows raspberry)
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396. Pardon my language,
but gun shmun.
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397. It's your wits that
protect the city, Sir,
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398. not your weapon.
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399. Well, as Keiko knows,
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400. I'm not quite feeling
like myself today.
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401. But even if you're feeling like,
oh, say Roxanne today,
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402. you know that Roxanne is
at least as smart as you.
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403. Huh.
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404. You're right.
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405. I am as smart as Roxanne.
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406. Not sure I understand,
but I agree with the message!
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407. You're the master
of plans and schemes.
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408. I'm certain you can
come up with a way
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409. to contain
Lady Doppler's weather attack.
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410. Contain the weather...
That's it!
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411. The mayor may have been
terrible today,
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412. but she gave us just the tool
we need to defeat Doppler!
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413. Plans and schemes!
That's my Sir!
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414. You're about to lose
in a landslide!
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415. That's clearly a tornado.
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416. And again, landslide?
Not weather!
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417. I'm exhausted
correcting this woman.
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418. Aw, unfortunately, there's
no time for an official recall.
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419. Let's just skip to the part
where you're ousted!
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420. Looks like the sky
is clearing up.
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421. Didn't I already defeat you?
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422. You destroyed my gun,
not my mind.
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423. Nothing a change
in weather pattern can't fix.
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424. Ah! (whimpers)
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425. Chum! Snow globe!
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426. Yes!
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427. I think I'm gonna be sick!
(retches)
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428. Doppler out. (whimpers)
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429. That's a wrap, everybody!
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430. Outstanding work.
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431. Specifically the saving me part.
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432. (laughs)
I even had a cool line!
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433. Looks like the sky
is clearing up!
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434. Megamind! Megamind! Megamind!
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435. (sighs) It sounds so beautiful.
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436. Like angels.
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437. You calmed them down
all on your own.
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438. That's great.
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439. They were chanting
your name earlier, I swear.
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440. Looks like Metrocity
loves us both once again.
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441. Bring it in, team.
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442. I love this new
in-touch-with-your-feelings Sir.
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443. Let's not get too used to it.
Maybe just special occasions.
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444. - (upbeat music playing)
- (whirring)
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445. Thank you!
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446. Now, I hate to be
a "mayor downer..."
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447. Get it? Like major—
(sighs) Never mind.
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448. Parking rules are back in effect
and fines will be doubled.
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449. - I gotta move my car!
- I can't afford a ticket!
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450. - (car doors slam)
- (tires squeal)
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451. Thanks for the opportunity, Sir.
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452. - From now on,
this song will be ours. - ("Polka Dot Llama" playing)
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453. No, no, no, no.
Not the national anthem of throwing up!
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454. - (song stops)
- Your ever-changing personality remains
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455. a wonderful mystery to me, Sir.
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