1. ♪ ... YOU
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2. HMPH.
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3. NOW, THEN, BLOW OUT THE
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4. CANDLES.
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5. OH! OH!
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6. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME!
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7. BUT IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY.
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8. "CREATED BY A
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9. MAN DAY" PARTY.
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10. YAY!
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11. WHAT DID YOU WISH FOR?
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12. NO! DON'T ASK HIM THAT!
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13. I BESEECHED THE BIRTHDAY GODS
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14. TO GRANT ME THE ONLY THING I
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15. EVER WANTED, YET HAVE NEVER
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16. POSSESSED.
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17. HERE WE GO!
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18. EVERY YEAR!
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19. MY ONLY WISH IS TO KNOW FROM
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20. WHENCE I CAME.
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21. FOR THEN, I WILL COME TO KNOW MY
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22. PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE.
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23. ALL I WANT IS...
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24. AN IDENTITY.
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25. IT'S NOT
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26. OFFICIALLY HIS BIRTHDAY UNTIL
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27. HE RUINS IT!
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28. YOU CANNOT FATHOM PAIN SUCH
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29. AS MINE.
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30. LOOK, WE ALL
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31. WANT SOMETHING WE CAN'T HAVE.
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32. TAKE ME, FOR INSTANCE.
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33. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MANAGE A
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34. BAND.
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35. YOU HAVE?
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36. YEE, KIND OF.
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37. KIND OF?
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38. I DON'T KIND OF WANT TO KNOW
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39. FROM WHENCE I CAME!
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40. YOU KNOW, WE CONSIDER
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41. OURSELVES YOUR FAMILY.
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42. YES, AND I VALUE THAT, BUT
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43. THOU ARE NOT OF MY BLOOD, MY
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44. GENETICS.
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45. ALL RIGHT!
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46. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU CAME
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47. FROM?
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48. TORSO, LEFT LEG, RIGHT LEG, LEFT
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49. ARM, MOST OF FACE, RIGHT ARM,
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50. REST OF FACE AND BRAIN.
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51. THERE! HAPPY?
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52. NO, FOR NOW I SEE THAT IT IS
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53. MY LOT TO HAVE BEEN ORPHANED BY
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54. SO MANY LOVED ONES.
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55. LOVED ONES?
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56. ARE YOU NUTS?
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57. THESE PEOPLE DID NOT EXACTLY
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58. VOLUNTEER THEIR PARTS, YOU KNOW.
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59. YOU MEAN, YOU MURDERED WHAT
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60. WAS LEFT OF MY FAMILY?
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61. YOU ARE REALLY
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62. SOMETHING.
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63. YES, I MURDERED SOME OF THEM —
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64. TO GIVE YOU LIFE FROM THE DEAD,
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65. NITWIT!
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66. THEN YOU CAN GIVE THEM THEIR
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67. LIVES BACK.
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68. BRING THEM TO LIFE SO THAT WE
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69. CAN REUNITE.
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70. OKAY. I WILL MAKE YOU A DEAL.
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71. IF I BRING THEM BACK TO LIFE,
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72. DO YOU PROMISE TO SHUT UP —
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73. AND I MEAN A-SHUUUUUUUUUT UP —
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74. ABOUT YOUR IDENTITY CRISIS FOR
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75. ALL ETERNITY?
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76. OH, YES! YES! I DO PROMISE!
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77. DEEP IN MY SOUL, I ALWAYS —
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78. STARTING NOW!
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79. YGOR, START DIGGING!
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80. YOU GOT
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81. IT!
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82. AAH!
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83. VICTOR SAYS THE BODIES ARE
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84. PREPARED AND READY TO BE
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85. REVIVED.
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86. VERY NERVOUS HERE.
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87. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DO WHEN
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88. I'M NERVOUS?
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89. I GO...
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90. BETTER?
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91. NO.
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92. WHAT IF THEY REJECT ME?
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93. NOW, WHY WOULD ANYONE REJECT
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94. YOU?
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95. COME ON!
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96. CREATURE, ALLOW
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97. ME TO SHOW YOU FROM WHENCE YOU
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98. CAME!
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99. I GIVE YOU...
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100. AN ODD COLLECTION OF STRANGERS!
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101. I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
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102. MY PARTS CAME FROM THIS HANDSOME
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103. ARRAY OF CORPSES?
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104. YES.
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105. NOW, SINCE YOU ARE AN AMALGAM
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106. OF ALL OF THEM, THEY CAN ONLY
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107. BE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE IF YOU
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108. ARE ALL WIRED TOGETHER.
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109. YOU'RE KIND OF LIKE THE BATTERY
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110. THAT WILL POWER THEM.
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111. ARE YOU READY?
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112. I AM READY.
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113. AAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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114. AAAAAAH!
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115. THEY'RE ALIVE.
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116. ALI-I-I-I-I-I-VE!
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117. OH, SALUTATIONS.
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118. IT IS AN HONOR TO MEET ALL OF
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119. YOU.
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120. MY FAMILY.
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121. HMM.
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122. FUNNY — YOU DON'T LOOK JEWISH.
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123. NONE OF YA.
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124. OH, MY LEFT LEG IS.
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125. YEAH, MY LEFT LEG USED TO BE.
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126. NOW, WHERE IS THE KAFAFTA THING?
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127. RIGHT HERE — ON ME.
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128. WHAT?
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129. UM, HI.
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130. MY NAME IS
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131. ELIZABETH FRANKENSTEIN, AND MY
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132. HUSBAND, VICTOR, HERE...
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133. HI.
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134. CREATED THIS LIVING
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135. CREATURE OUT OF YOUR DEAD FLESH.
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136. WOW. THAT'S DEPRESSING.
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137. YEAH! I NEED MY PECS AND ABS.
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138. AND I'D LIKE THE REST OF MY
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139. FACE FOR A PTA MEETING.
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140. WHLAAAAH...
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141. CARPET NICKELS.
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142. I'M GETTING UNHOOKED FROM
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143. THIS GOLEM RIGHT NOW!
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144. NO!
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145. I'LL NEVER LET ANY OF YOU DIE!
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146. YOU'RE MY FAMILY.
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147. WILL YOU DO SOMETHING?
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148. WHAT?
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149. IT'S GOING FINE!
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150. THEY'RE A PERFECTLY NORMAL
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151. DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY.
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152. VICTOR.
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153. OH, ALL RIGHT!
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154. EVERYONE, PLEASE!
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155. YES, YOU ARE ALL DIFFERENT.
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156. THAT'S TRUE.
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157. BUT THAT'S WHAT MAKES A FAMILY
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158. RICH WITH POSSIBILITIES.
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159. YOU MUST FIND A COMMON INTEREST.
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160. HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED
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161. TO DO THAT?
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162. NOW, HERE I
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163. HAVE A BOOK OF EVERY POSSIBLE
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164. INTEREST KNOWN TO MANKIND.
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165. I'M GOING TO SIT HERE AND READ
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166. OFF THE LIST UNTIL YOU ALL AGREE
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167. ON ONE OF THEM.
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168. OKAY.
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169. "AARDVARK ANTICS."
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170. AH!
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171. OOH.
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172. "AARDVARK
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173. BURGERS."
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174. AH! OOH.
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175. OOH!
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176. "AARDVARK CINEMA."
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177. SKIP THE AARDVARKS!
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178. ALL RIGHT, ALL
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179. RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
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180. "ABDOMINAL ATHLETICS."
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181. HMM?
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182. "SINGAPOREAN
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183. XYLOPHONES."
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184. MM.
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185. OOH, OOH!
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186. "SINGAPOREAN YARN."
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187. I CAN PROBABLY GET INTO THAT.
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188. OOH! ME TOO!
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189. GREAT!
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190. ANYONE ELSE?
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191. MNH-MNH.
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192. OH, COME ON!
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193. OPEN YOUR MINDS, PEOPLE!
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194. NO ONE?
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195. FINE!
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196. "SINGAPOREAN ZOOS."
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197. MM...
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198. "SINGING."
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199. OH!
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200. I USED TO BE IN A CHURCH CHOIR!
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201. THAT WAS FUN!
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202. YES.
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203. YES, YES, YES! GOOD!
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204. AND I USED TO SING ALONG WITH
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205. FOUR SEASONS RECORDS.
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206. ♪ AHH AHH-AHH
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207. OOH! FANTASTIC!
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208. I'M ACTUALLY, UH, PRETTY GOOD
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209. AT THE BARITONE VERSION OF THE
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210. "MAGIC FLUTE."
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211. OH, MY GOD!
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212. THAT'S THREE OF YOU!
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213. HA HA!
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214. AMAZING!
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215. YOU ALL CAME TOGETHER IN
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216. SPITE OF YOUR DIFFERENCES!
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217. YES, AND
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218. THERE'S AN OPEN MIC DOWN AT THE
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219. PUB TOMORROW NIGHT.
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220. YOU SHOULD ALL DO IT AS A FAMILY
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221. ACT.
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222. THAT WOULD BE SO EXCITING!
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223. WHAT A FAMILY MEMORY THAT WOULD
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224. BE.
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225. OOH! I CAN PLAY MY BANJO!
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226. AND I CAN
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227. FULFILL MY MILD DREAM OF
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228. MANAGING A BAND!
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229. HERE — IN ORDER TO LOOK MORE
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230. LIKE A FAMILY, WEAR THESE WIGS.
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231. GREAT THINKING!
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232. PUT THEM ON SO I CAN GET A
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233. PICTURE FOR THE FLIER!
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234. I'M NOT WEARING THIS NAZI
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235. WIG!
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236. AWW.
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237. Don't worry.
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238. I'll Photoshop it in.
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239. NOW, SAY CHEESE!
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240. CHEESE!
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241. MEIN
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242. FUHRER!
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243. LOOK AT THIS GROUP PERFORMING IN
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244. SOMEWHERE IN EASTERN EUROPE.
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245. IT CAN'T BE!
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246. AND YET THEY LOOK SO MUCH LIKE
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247. THE VAN DER TROMPEL FAMILY!
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248. COULD THEY HAVE GOTTEN AWAY
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249. FROM THE GESTAPO AND CHANGED
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250. THEIR NAME?
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251. HOW I MISS THAT
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252. FAMILY.
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253. I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO HEAR
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254. THEM IN CONCERT AGAIN BEFORE I
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255. GOT RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR
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256. ALL.
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257. I MUST ATTEND THAT OPEN MIC!
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258. NOW, GET A GOOD NIGHT'S
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259. SLEEP.
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260. YES, TOMORROW'S
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261. THE BIG SHOW.
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262. NOW, DON'T GET EXCITED, BUT I
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263. EVEN HEARD HITLER'S COMING
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264. THROUGH A FRANKENHOLE TO BE
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265. THERE!
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266. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I
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267. AM TO FINALLY FIND A PLACE IN
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268. THIS LIFE, A SENSE OF BELONGING
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269. SOMEWHERE.
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270. SLEEP WELL.
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271. I LOVE YOU ALL.
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272. He's asleep.
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273. Let's get him.
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274. MOVE AWAY FROM HIM AND DROP
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275. THOSE KNIVES.
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276. ARE YOU FREAKIN' CRAZY?
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277. I NEED MY PECS AND ABS BACK.
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278. NO! NOT UNTIL I KILL HITLER.
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279. YOU'RE ALL PLAYING THAT SHOW.
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280. WELL, PARDNERS — NYUK
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281. NYUK — FOR MY LAST BIT OF
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282. DOWN-HOME POLITICAL HUMOR, I'D
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283. LIKE TO SAY THAT, UH,
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284. POLITICIANS — NYUK NYUK —
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285. SHOULD TAKE A CUE FROM MUMMIES
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286. AND WRAP THINGS UP.
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287. NYUK NYUK!
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288. THANKS, PARDNERS!
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289. YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT CROWD!
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290. [ AUDIENCE CHANTING "WE WANT THE
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291. IT'S-ALIVE-INGSTONS" ]
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292. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, BRAHS
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293. AND BRAHSEEMAS, UP NEXT, WE ARE
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294. PROUD TO PRESENT THE
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295. IT'S-ALIVE-INGSTON FAMILY OF
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296. SONG!
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297. OOH, I HOPE THEY'RE STILL
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298. GOOD!
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299. ME TOO!
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300. OH, YOU LIKE EVERYTHING.
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301. ALL RIGHT, HITLER, PREPARE TO
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302. GET NAKIFTAD!
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303. NO!
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304. MEIN FUHRER! GET DOWN!
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305. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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306. YOU'RE RUINING THE SONG!
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307. NOW!
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308. GIVE US OUR PARTS BACK!
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309. AAH!
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310. WELL, THAT WAS A BUST.
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311. AAH!
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312. THAT'S FOR LITTLE
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313. ANNIE FRANK.
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314. HEY, THAT WAS FUN.
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315. OKAY, UP NEXT — NOSFERATU
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316. AND RUSTY BOY!
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317. SUCCESS HAS DESTROYED MY
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318. FAMILY.
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319. OH, WHO CARES
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320. ABOUT YOUR STUPID FAMILY?
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321. THE CAREER I KINDA WANTED IS
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322. FINISHED!
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323. WELL, YOU ALWAYS HAVE US AS
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324. YOUR FAMILY, YOU KNOW.
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325. I KNOW.
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326. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND THAT
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327. WE'RE NOT ACTUAL BLOOD
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328. RELATIVES, THOUGH.
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329. NO.
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330. THIS EXPERIENCE HAS TAUGHT ME
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331. THAT FAMILIES —
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332. REAL FAMILIES ARE PERHAPS THE
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333. WORST THING IN THE WORLD EVER.
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334. THAT'S MY BOY!
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335. MOMMY.
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336. OH, WOULD YOU
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337. TWO SHUUUUUUUUT UP?
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338. OKAY, LADIES AND
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339. GENTLE-BRAHS, PUT YOUR HANDS
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340. TOGETHER FOR IMPRESSIONIST
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341. EXTRAORDINAIRE COUNT CHOCOLATEY!
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342. THANK YOU!
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343. YOU KNOW I ALWAYS WONDERED, WHAT
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344. IF FAMOUS ACTOR BELA LUGOSI
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345. PLAYED COUNT DRACULA IN A MOVIE?
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346. I THINK IT WOULD GO SOMETHING
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347. LIKE THIS.
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348. GOOD EVENING.
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349. I'M COUNT DRACULA IN A MOVIE!
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350. THANK YOU.
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351. AND NOW, FOR MY NEXT IMPRESSION,
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352. WHAT IF I PLAYED COUNT DRACULA
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353. IN A MOVIE?
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